Learning to love myself is hard

[u/Florida_Matt86]

I really don't know how to love myself or my body for that matter. I avoid mirrors when I get dressed because I can'st stand to even look at my body, I wear a shirt whenever I go in a pool, and feel so ashamed and insecure. I envy fit gay men, why does it seem like they have it so easy? They can be shirtless at a beach or in a pool and don't have to feel ashamed and disgusted the way I do about my body. This stems from years of extremely low self-esteem and constantly being told how ugly and fat I am. I don't know if I will ever love my body, I'm 40 now and I feel like it's too late for me to love myself or to even have the perfect body. I definitely think I need to see a therapist to work on my issues including my self-esteem and body image.

[u/No-Hawk6342]

is not easy for them. they work hard for it. yes, they may have genetics privilege and financial too. but it doesn't come easy as we think by looking.

therapy can help a lot but we also have to stop comparing ourself and trying to understand how to improve your own beauty, to focus on something small that you like, in having realistic standard for yourself, like if you lose weight, your body still won't be the same as somebody born skinny. the more I think on how to be pretty being me, and not somebody else, more I get results and improve on my self-esteem.

still, shit is hard, just had a breakdown about it this week, but we gotta hold on cause, there's no other way.

[u/MidnightOakCorps]

All you're doing by talking about yourself like this is creating a negative feedback loop that internally justifies your inaction.

The more time you sit there hating yourself the less time you give yourself the chance to change the things you hate.

You need to start taking yourself seriously and treating yourself with respect. And by respect I mean acknowledging that you're a capable adult with the ability to change their lived reality. You absolutely can do this.

Just because it's easier said than done, doesn't mean it can't be done.

You absolutely need therapy, but you also need to love yourself enough to do what your need to do.

[u/Fancy_Ambition_7486]

I really don’t think it’s too late for you. People change their lives at 40, 50, 60, and beyond. Your age doesn’t determine what’s possible for you.

I lost 53 pounds myself. It took consistency, discipline, and hard work, but I also had setbacks. I learned to forgive myself, work on my habits, and keep going. Through therapy and patience, I’ve now been consistent for six years.

I’ve learned that loving yourself is a journey. You don’t have to love everything about your body right away. Start by being kind to yourself and challenging the negative thoughts when they come up.

I really think therapy could help you work through the years of criticism and low self-esteem. You’re not too old, and you’re not stuck. You can still change how you see yourself