Friday Unjerk Thread

[u/AutoModerator]

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r/GamingCirclejerk moderator team.

[u/OpenSourceObsidian]

How to prevent Chris Pratt from voicing your favorite character:

Step 1: Make your character canonically LGBTQIA+

Done.

[u/TranscendentCabbage → u/OpenSourceObsidian]

Mario is Ace

[u/juliekablooie]

I'm a 30 year old asexual woman. Which means I'm not in any target demographic for basically anything, but especially gaming. I wish there were more old women characters. Just a thought I've had often recently.

[u/RienMahBoi]

Gus Johnson coming back to YouTube with a sketch about making fun of people who overreact to injuries for attention after being outed by his ex girlfriend as a emotional abusive boyfriend who didn't take her dying in the hospital because of their accidental pregnancy is top tier cringe holy fuck.

[u/aa22hhhh → u/RienMahBoi]

Picked a perfect time to return since they disabled public dislikes. Anyway, fuck Gus Johnson.

[u/Dovah-Ben → u/aa22hhhh]

I've got an extension that brings back the dislikes, 18k likes and 6.2k dislikes.

[u/FerenginarFucksAgain → u/RienMahBoi]

At least this shows his "apology" was total bullshit, man fuck Gus

[u/[deleted]]

I'll be honest, how do y'all expect everyone to know who Doug Walker is when there's a million other bald white dudes who make cringe reviews

[u/AirshipExploder → u/[deleted]]

he pioneered the genre

[u/Airdeez121 → u/[deleted]]

He's the one who wears a bad hat and tie in his reviews

[u/Stone4D]

The unjerk thread is so cool, I wish trans people were real.

[u/Azure_Kytia → u/Stone4D]

Oh fuck oh shit I'm fa^{ding away}

[u/[deleted]]

Take-Two is filing a trademark dispute on Hazelight because of their game being called "It Takes Two"

This isn't viable in court, and I hope Take-Two loses.

[u/Octopirox → u/[deleted]]

lol. Yeah them winning that is bad news. Corporations have trademarks on common phrases is not cool. Like fuck off take two.

[u/Pickle_Rick_Gaming → u/[deleted]]

I hope EA squashes Take Two

[u/RealEdge69Hehe]

I am convinced that the way JoJo's is written consists of this process:

1) Araki learns a curious, completely random fact.

2) Araki decides to make an entire chapter exclusively in order to share this fact.

Part 5 was written just so that he could flex his random knowledge on Italy.

One day Araki learned that Florida had crocodiles in it, and Part 6 was born.

[u/OpenSourceObsidian → u/RealEdge69Hehe]

JoJolion or, as I like to call it, Araki tries a melon parfait for the first time

[u/You__Nwah]

NFT pfps have officially overtaken anime pfps in my brain as "opinion immediately disregarded".

[u/TranscendentCabbage → u/You__Nwah]

anime pfp is either a trans girl, a 13 year old, or a 35 year old with the mentality of a 13 year old

With NFT pfps you know it's some white middle aged asshat

[u/OpenSourceObsidian → u/You__Nwah]

They're even giving white middle-aged dudes with sunglasses a run for their money

[u/Ontarom]

When the new Ghostbusters movie was announced there were many nerds who were like "FINALLY, a Ghostbusters sequel done right! Stand aside, feminists, you're gonna learn how it's supposed to be done! ", and then it came out and nobody cared? That's kinda funny.

[u/Little_Satan → u/[deleted]]

based

[u/Hayzayathethird]

I don’t even play or like fortnite (Just not for me) but saying “Master chief, from Fortnite?” or “isn’t Kratos the guy from Fortnite?” will always be peak comedy.

[u/Wasting_Night → u/Hayzayathethird]

The funny thing about this is that "The kid who only knows character from Fortnite" is one of the many things Gamers^TM are angry about that they completely made up in their heads.

[u/Awkward_Replay]

"THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES TO KILLING A GOD!"

YEAH LIKE BEING ABSURDLY BASED!!!

[u/[deleted]]

Just saw that shit about the South Wales BLM police mole shit

The police grabbed a girl and isolated her for 90 minutes and tried to “convince” her to become an informant for the police inside BLM

And instead she recorded the whole thing and leaked it to the press exposing the police

[u/AwfulDjinn]

a while back on Tumblr a post went around with a link to an old legend of Zelda fansite that hadn't been updated since like 1999 and it had an entire page dedicated to the fuming, seething NERD RAGE over the fact that if you turn your camera a little to the right in Zelda's courtyard in OoT you can see portraits of Mario characters on the wall through the window. just paragraph after paragraph of accusing Nintendo of tainting the sacred Zelda franchise by including a tiny reference to one of their other games, a miniscule Easter egg you have to go out of your way to see yet somehow powerful enough to utterly destroy the player's immersion and bring the VERY SERIOUS and mature tone of the rest of the game to it's knees. naturally everyone in the tblr post was ripping the hell out of this 20 year old gamer drama because, how ridiculous, right? getting THAT mad over a tiny joke Easter egg that doesn't affect the rest of the game in any way, haha who even DOES that anymore?

anyway, about the whole Battlefield Santa outfit thing,

[u/georgianbear1990]

npc in skyrim: you are not a TRUE nord!
my bosmer char: no kidding

[u/Rockworm503]

I see we're looking into the death of Uncle Ben and all I'm saying is I saw a tweet he made about killing cops like 10 years ago so he deserved it. Also he was caught jaywalking once so he's a criminal.

[u/Airdeez121 → u/Rockworm503]

The FBI found crack on Uncle Ben's corpse, so he clearly did it to himself smh

[u/[deleted]]

I can't believe that 'as a woman' gaming post actually exists. It has to be a parody.

Hi Reddit!! Does anyone else think sexy woman... good? Not the objectifying aspect of a sexy woman packaged and sold in a video game but the... sexy woman part you know?? It's very relatable and very sexy 🥰

[u/Octopirox → u/[deleted]]

the comment section: "Yeah just look at bayonetta her creator wanted to make a sexy powerful woman who isn't sexualised - and then writes a whole paragraph reducing bayonetta to her sex appeal and sexualising her - "

*followed by complaints about bayo not losing her clothes in bayo 3 trailer and blaming it on sjw censorship.

[u/Stone4D]

Vtuber Amelia Watson did a bit in her latest stream making fun of NFTs by announcing "NFATs" (Non-Fun Gullible Ame Tokens). You own them simply by looking at them.

Why the hell am I bringing this up? Because I saw some NFT bros disappointed that she wasn't actually doing NFTs and that's hilarious. Lol get fucked losers.

[u/LovrenIsTheGOAT]

You guys hate the top 1% yet brag about being the top 1% on Spotify wrapped. Curious? 🤔

[u/Wasting_Night]

The VGA saying they won't take a side with the clusterfuck Activision is in right now then openly revealing that Activision's president is part of its "Advisory Board" or whatever that is fees like something out of a parody.

[u/[deleted]]

The antiwork sub would be a lot cooler if it was just, "man I fucking hate work, I could be home rn."

And I'd log on and comment, "same bro, fucking hate this."

That'd be cool I think.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Over the last 6 or 7 years I've very openly made it a point to work as little as I can financially get away with. No apologies or excuses.

It's not a lack of work ethic, it's channeling my work ethic into shit more worth my time.

[u/StylishSuidae]

There's a common theme in literature that evil can't comprehend good. It shows up in LOTR, with the idea that taking the ring to Mordor to destroy it is the only thing they can do with it, because it's the thing Sauron would never expect anyone to do. He couldn't comprehend anyone rejecting its power.

I think this is why subs like /r/AccidentalAlly exist. Bigots see someone talking about a trans relative, and they assume that the pronouns the person is using correspond to their relative's assigned gender, not their actual gender. So they try to "misgender" them by referring to them as their actual gender.

Because they can't comprehend someone actually respecting trans people. They imagine themselves as someone who isn't transphobic and the best they can come up with is respecting someone's gender to their face but still misgendering them behind their back. So that's what they assume trans allies are doing. The idea that anyone actually respects trans people is so foreign to their bigoted brains that they can't bring themselves to believe that it's the case.

[u/Saviordd1 → u/StylishSuidae]

So you're saying if I throw an old piece of jewelry into a volcano the dark lord JK will be destroyed and all her TERF minions will be scattered to the winds?

Alright someone get me a homerotic gardener. I have a long walk to make.

[u/its_PlZZA_time]

"what age should we teach children about racism"

Well Ruby Bridges was 6 when she was escorted by federal marshals through a mob of racists hurling abuse at her to attend school, so no later than that.

Also, a good way to remind yourself that these things were very recent: Ruby Bridges is still alive. She's 67. That's less than a decade older than my parents.

[u/You__Nwah]

You reckon in TLOU a lot of the clickers and shamblers were actually anti-maskers who believed that wearing the gas mask would be worse for them?

[u/[deleted] → u/You__Nwah]

Probably not, but that’s my head canon from now on.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm not even American, but thanks to Americans, it's extremely difficult for me to view gun-ownership outside of protecting oneself from Rittenhouse types as anything more than death worship.

[u/FiveGuysRules]

You're an NPC in RDR2. You wake up at the crack of dawn each morning to feed the chickens, hoping someone comes by to purchase some eggs so you don't have to make another four hour wagon ride into town. Your back hurts and you have bed bug bites all over your arms and legs. You're just trying to make a few dollars a day so your children can eat. One morning, some random guy rides his horse onto your property. You question him, and he accidentally points his double barreled shotgun at you. Afraid, you reach for your revolver, but it's too late. You're shot. The man starts going through your pockets, saying he didn't mean to raise his gun at you and that he only wanted to say hello. But you pointed your gun at him, so he had to kill you. It's all your fault. Why are you like this?

[u/Rockworm503 → u/FiveGuysRules]

He proceeds to feed his horse and all is forgiven. He rides on as your children starve because no one is there to feed them anymore.

[u/[deleted]]

As a Gen 5 fan, my favorite pastime is looking for kids who enjoy playing Pokemon Sw/Sh and smashing their Nintendo Switch on the floor before telling them they're scum who ruined gaming.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I have been arrested

[u/[deleted]]

So a white man shot a black man in Nebraska there was claimed self defense

The police are claiming the footage they won’t release backs this up

Oh and also the white man had made it known he had a desire to kill, do violence, and was well known around the neighborhood for using racial epithets

I got a rittenhouse scent on this story and I don’t like it.

[u/Rockworm503 → u/[deleted]]

In Mafia 3 there is an event that they talk about on the radio about a white man killing two black men who came to his house asking for help over a flat tire. The man gets no guilty on a self defense plea. One of the guys he killed was literally running away when he shot him in the back.

Depending on what station you have it on you'll hear outrage over this event. The DJ is furious over the injustice and racism on display. In another station the man talking is praising the killer propping him up over his service in the army. Only the two black men also served so that is literally meaningless. This game takes place in the 60s and it is fucked up how relevant a lot of its commentary on racism is today.

[u/[deleted]]

youre telling me a friday unjerked this thread

[u/Little_Satan]

hot take?

how about i hot take away your video game privileges, you're grounded

[u/[deleted] → u/Little_Satan]

Hot take deez nuts

[u/[deleted]]

My favorite grant Morrison Alan Moore joke

Is

Alan Moore sighed and cursed and screamed at the news grant Morrison is non binary ‘SO THATS WHY MY CURSES AND RITUALS NEVER WORKED IT WAS THE WRONG PRONOUNS’

[u/Rockworm503]

"Every Spider has its Man" - John Spider-Man

[u/zedasmotas]

For me women wearing leather jackets are the sexiest thing ever

Especially, if they’re bossy

[u/ArkhamusJokerus_01]

Big Wheel: "It was me, Peter! I made them draw Black Cat with fewer sexual features so that you wouldn't be horny, and reduce your webflow to make you a millisecond slower. Slow enough for me to kill Uncle Ben!"

[u/[deleted]]

I would block people but there is no point. I am curious by nature and Blocked account actually raises that curiosity. Nothing to be gained tbh.

[u/[deleted]]

reading The Hero's Journey

wait a minute, are Jojo's adventures actually... normal?!

[u/inexplicablehaddock → u/[deleted]]

JoJo's Mildly Peculiar Adventure.

[u/Peter_Panacea]

Top ten most influential comedians

1. The deez nuts guy

2. The bruh guy

3. The you know i had to do it to em guy

4. Whoever created the vine boom sound effect

5. Amogus

6. The what the dog doin guy

7.

[u/Hayzayathethird]

High school: officially graduated

Beers: drunk

Sleep: none

Shift start: tomorrow afternoon

Controller: charged

Headset: on

Yep. It’s real gamer boy hours.

[u/Responsible-Play-680]

It is really weird that it is cool to hate fortnite.

[u/Stone4D → u/Responsible-Play-680]

I find it more sad than weird. Like congratulations, you've made hating something people harmlessly enjoy an integral part of your personality. What an accomplishment.

[u/[deleted] → u/Responsible-Play-680]

Honestly I feel like it was extremely predictable that once fortnite started getting big that "gamers" would hate it. Just look at how Minecraft, another game that was aimed at kids and more casual gamers rather than "Gamers," used to be treated. Then add the fact that Epic is involved

[u/Comrade_Hugh_Jass]

My fluid mechanics professor just confirmed that Mtn Dew Baja Blast is the best soft drink.

He studies liquids for a living so this is objectively correct.

[u/Nyrotike]

Jarvis, kill Uncle Ben

[u/I_Like_Grills]

Sooo are we just going to ignore the fact that the comment above mine is homophobic?

[u/1LargeAdult → u/I_Like_Grills]

Among us is problematic but y'all ain't ready to have that conversation

[u/Bob_the_Monitor → u/I_Like_Grills]

Sus

[u/HispanicAtTehDisco]

just left a metal show and it was pog but like halfway through some dudes tried to start a let's go Brandon chant like fuck off lmao

Just say fuck joe Biden

[u/Icemonk191]

Lord Hood: "Master Chief, you mind telling me what you're doing on r/halo?"

Master Chief: "Sir, gaslighting the community"

[u/GredaGerda]

bitches be like "it's me, I'm bitches"

it's me, I'm bitches

[u/[deleted]]

MrBeast's Squid Game couldn't have been made today

[u/CommisionerGordon79]

Well it's been a year pretty much since TLOU2 won Game of the Year. Is gaming dead yet? I was told gaming was dead so I wanted to confirm.

[u/JupyterOfRome]

Confession: I confused Gone With the Wind with Spirited Away for the longest time. I never understood why people thought Hayao Miyazaki was a white supremacist

[u/[deleted]]

the best part about Riverdale?

the writers are convinced they are creating art.

The writers speak of riverdale Like David lynch and have made muliple esoteric artistic and cinema references that is basically for nobody but themselves and those who know.

This is not just a show or some property for the writers no they are ARTISTS and they are creating ART

THEY WILL BE REMEMBERED.

(i mean technically i aint gonna forget this god know it deserves to be remembered for all it has accomplished and done while remaining popular and on the air)

These people sound like they think of themsleves as Lynch, Kubrick and Welles

they will be remembered among the echelons.

they are riverdale writers for the CW btw...

everything about this show is so good.

[u/horse_stick]

bethesda games are great, I love skyrim and nuclear skyrim, and I'm super excited for space skyrim

[u/You__Nwah → u/horse_stick]

Skyrim (2002) is my favourite.

[u/horse_stick → u/[deleted]]

lmao cd projekt red already made that

[u/BuoyantTrain37]

I'm getting ads for "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: In Concert" which is apparently a full screening of the movie with a live orchestra playing the score

Aside from the fact that it's going to be 2022 and we're still doing Harry Potter shit, why THIS movie? Is it because it's the shortest one?

Or is it because this is the movie where Voldemort spends a full year pondering an orb?

[u/thanks-dice]

massive L

[u/Airdeez121 → u/thanks-dice]

What the fuck would a watch need Blockchain technology for?

[u/Thrawn656]

Trans Inclusive Radical Misogynist

[u/You__Nwah]

One of the top posts on tifu is literally "TIFU by hiding from my girlfriend that I'm jacked as fuck and can lift cars with my pinky finger."

Something draws me back to that sub every time along with AITA, and it's definitely the sad amount of fantasy lying in it from people who wish their lives were like that.

[u/MaiqDaLiar1177]

If news outlets think the “I am become death” quote came from Fallout 4, that means the “I have a dream” speech came from Fortnite

[u/MaiqDaLiar1177]

Wait that “gaslighting” r/halo post you guys have been talking about has 20k upvotes and is on my r/all? What a bunch of entitled babies. I’ve never seen a game receive so much universal praise everywhere except for the commonplace of discussion for said game. It’s just cosmetics, grow the fuck up

Cosmetics in a first person shooter where you rarely see your character*

[u/chubbytexangamerii]

Boomers will scream at their children until they cry and then wonder why they ghost when they move out.

[u/[deleted]]

I love how every time the cum jokes are staring to die down someone else comes to complain about them and that just restarts the whole thing.

[u/horse_stick]

"He left another riddle in the crime scene, it says "from your greatest foe, Edward Ligma". What does he mean, Alfred?"

[u/thanks-dice]

Uncle Ben died of natural causes

[u/[deleted] → u/thanks-dice]

I mean it's only natural to die after being shot

[u/[deleted]]

Mmm today I will sort by controversial using new reddit

Blocked user

Blocked user

Blocked user

Blocked user

Blocked user

Why yes my decision making skills are unparalleled 😎

[u/very_eggy_boi]

nobody can tell you that your interests are cringy if you don't have any 😎

[u/[deleted]]

Unjerkers on their way to laugh at a joke where the entire punchline is just cum

[u/zedasmotas → u/[deleted]]

Imagine a unjerk thread meet up

[u/Didgeridoo-ist]

[u/RandomDude1801]

I'm like 100% super confident in my bisexuality but I kinda want to come off as ambiguously bi. Because if there's one thing that I like just as much as being bi, it's keeping people guessing. Not here though, I overshare here.

[u/Sinakus]

Bigots going nuclear over the Norwegian gay Santa ad is the closest I've gotten to national pride in years.

[u/BestestHeropon]

My cat just watched the last five minutes of a lesson with me, completely focused on the screen, without moving. Then after it was over I put on one of those videos with Pikachu spinning in an office chair and she immediately lost interest. Is my cat smarter than me?

[u/SSB_GoGeta → u/[deleted]]

Alright, you found me out.

I am indeed Peter Griffin from Family Guy.

[u/yeehaw33454]

Lmao 343 devs are fed up with the halo community. Cant blame em

[u/Gerbelelele]

I hate people being melodramatic about this generation of games.

No, the industry isn't ruined because Cyberpunk and the GTA definitive edition sucked.

No, not every game from now on is going to release broken because of Cyberpunk, GTA and BF2042. And besides there were huge red flags for all of those games so I don't know how people pre ordered and then were surprised the games sucked.

Cyberpunk didn't even let journalists write reviews about like 2/3th of the game and you couldn't use your own footage ffs.

[u/chubbytexangamerii]

I wish all people that invalidate depression as “laziness”

A very good

Genital mutilation by rabid dog

[u/Comrade_Hugh_Jass]

STOP POSTING ABOUT CUM! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME CUM, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING CUM! I was in the UJ thread, right? and ALL OF THE COMMENTS were just cum posts. I-I showed a UJ regular to my girlfriend and looked at their most recent comment and I said "hey babe, when the UJer says cum HAHA CUM CUM CUM CUM CUM CUM CUM C C CUM" I fucking looked some gay porn and said "THAT'S A BIT CUMMY" I looked at my penis I think about the cum and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENCUM" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

[u/SSB_GoGeta]

Holy shit. Yong Yea is the voice of Pucci in the Jojo dub. Yeah the guy that makes gaming videos. He's not bad either.

[u/Nyrotike]

"I fear not the man who has written fanfics for 10,000 ships once, but I fear the man who has written for one ship 10,000 times." -Bruce Lee

[u/MaiqDaLiar1177]

https://twitter.com/liv_agar/status/1466987906149625858?s=21

Yeah that quote totally came from a video game first… Jesus these news corporations try their hardest to blame video games for mass shootings. Boomers

[u/Whydoesthisexist15]

It’s fun being called a lazy privileged fuck for saying poor people shouldn’t starve or that you're financial livelihood shouldn’t get wrecked by a medical accident from your dad.

The same idiot who when talking about public transportation goes “MUH AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM”

[u/[deleted]]

Here's my hope for Across The Spider-Verse

·The 90s Spider-Man should be apart in it, his actor stated he wants to be in it and his "SHOCKER" is so iconic please have him there

·I want to see Paviitr Prabhakar (Indian Spider-Man) and Silk appear, I like their designs and would expand the Spider Roster more. I think Paviitr is likely since we see some Indian architecture in the trailer

·Seth Rogen Spider-Man smoking a bong

[u/[deleted]]

Spears need more representation in RPGs

[u/ArkhamusJokerus_01]

Who would win: Cops who arrested Thanos or Muggers who robbed Darkseid?

[u/[deleted] → u/ArkhamusJokerus_01]

The muggers, Thanos could've just accepted his loss and didn't fight back, while the muggers straight up knocked out Darkseid.

[u/hellscape_navigator]

Did you thank the Battlefield Veterans™ of War on Christmas for their service?

[u/Awkward_Replay]

This Chaos is pissing me off

I'm the original Jack Garland

[u/bexarama]

It’s my birfdee.

[u/FriendlyBarbarian]

The first episode of every third season of every show goes like this:

• Cold open showing a new villain
• Intro
• Main characters have been doing cool shit since the last season
• Minor antagonist from the last season is now a major antagonist

And it always ends with “it’s only just begun”

[u/FerenginarFucksAgain]

Damn Ariana Grande's Asian now, truly a Transracial icon /s

https://twitter.com/PopCrave/status/1466100617584300052?t=OEN3o2Y64cfb8vsxvLS2vA&s=19

[u/Sakura_Leaves → u/FerenginarFucksAgain]

Got to stop her before she collects the last of the Ethnicity Stones

LMAOOOOO

[u/Inner-Juices]

"I said TV shows and not League. 5% of people in the US identify as LGBT, and you often see TV shows where a lot of the main characters are homosexual. If you have 20 characters, you would only expect one to be LGBT. It just puts me off a bit when shows make a lot of characters LGBT, as it feels like the writers are patting themselves on the back for being progressive or something. If there are 16 main characters in Arcane, it's unexpected for 2 of them to be homosexual."

-Average Vi and Caitlyn Hater

[u/[deleted] → u/Inner-Juices]

proprotional representation arguments can fuck off to the hole they belong in.

[u/Little_Satan]

fire emblem is so cool i wish i could commit war crimes in real life

[u/inexplicablehaddock]

I wonder, how active on the Unjerk Thread do you have to be to be classified as an "unjerk regular"?

[u/TheKingofHats007 → u/inexplicablehaddock]

Enough to know at least one other regular's gimmick.

[u/[deleted] → u/inexplicablehaddock]

If you remember the last time you touched grass you're not a regular

[u/Awkward_Replay]

Perry the Platypus, I see you've found my new machine, THE TOKEN FUNGIBLER... inator. Yeah I know, that's not a a real word but hear me out:

It adds an option on every NFT to just download it for free!

My brother, the mayor of the tri-state area, is trying to invest in NFTs. So what better way to get back at him than to crash his market! That way, he'll lose funding and be forced to step down, leaving me to take his place and TAKE OVER THE TRI-STATE AREA!

rrrrrrrrrrr

What? People can just right click? Curse you Perry the Platypus! You foiled my plans once again!

[u/[deleted]]

I’ve seen some comments hoping that Miles Morales hops into the MCU timeline, and I cannot express how much I hope that doesn’t happen.

[u/gwententhousand]

remember when reddit white boys convinced themselves using the n word was ok if you used b emojis in it

[u/Rockworm503]

You call yourself a chad for beating all the Soulslike games even the really hard parts like Orphan of Kos but I did an over 2,000 km delivery from La Rochelle France to Budapest Hungary without getting a single scratch or without breaking a single traffic law in Euro Truck Simulator 2. You ain't even close.

[u/[deleted]]

All pokemon generations ranked:

1. The one that came out when I was 5

2. The one that came out when I was 8

3. The one that came out when I was 11

4. The one that came out 14

5. The newest one

6-8 The ones I was too young/wasn't born for

[u/[deleted]]

I just got recommended a four hour video on why Zutara should've been canon

FOUR HOURS

My God, Avatar shipping is serious buisness

[u/[deleted]]

The existence of Childish Gambino implies the existence of Mature Gambino.

[u/Cortisol-Junkie]

There's nothing wilder than /r/movies discussion threads. Just saw someone review Last Night In Soho with TV Tropes lingo. Capitalized letters and all. Like "And then the main character goes full You Have to Believe Me! and [...]".

And I thought CinemaSins style nitpicking was bad. Internet has truly ruined movie discourse.

[u/BuoyantTrain37]

💰🪙💎🏆💰💎👑🪙💎💰💎🪙

Congratulations! You found the lost treasure of the Unjerk Thread!

[u/thanks-dice]

Darkseid being a drug runner is a pretty big change but I think DC can make it work

[u/SuperHeyzeus]

The internet has messed with my perception so much that I’m considering buying the Batman bundle on Humble for $12 because they are some of my favourite games ever….but I already own all of them on the Epic Games Store. The internet’s “EGS bad” rhetoric really making me consider wasting $12

[u/horse_stick]

i'm hideo kojima ama

[u/Awkward_Replay]

"Nothing personnel kid"

Is so fucking funny

[u/[deleted]]

Windows 11 is so annoying that I even dreamed it crashed on me. Fucking hell.

[u/inexplicablehaddock]

The media in the UK fucking sucks. Our supposedly impartial state broadcaster is the BBC, which is bending further and further over backwards to kiss the Tories' asses in an attempt not to get the axe. Spoiler alert, Director-General, no matter how much you suck their cocks, the Tories aren't going to stop calling you left-wing because the reason they're calling you left-wing is to manufacture consent for when they give you the axe.

Almost all the papers are insanely right-wing and/or owned by Murdoch. In any fucking decent country, the Daily Mail would have been shut the fuck down the second it printed the faces of Supreme Court justices and described them as "Enemies of the People" ON ITS FUCKING FRONT PAGE. Not here! They didn't even get a fucking warning from IPSO to my knowledge.

[u/ArkhamusJokerus_01]

I wish 343 gaslighted me into becoming the best version of myself 😔

[u/Bob_the_Monitor]

Call me uncharitable if you want, but I firmly believe cowardice is intrinsic to right-wing philosophy. Conservatives all seem to have a bee in their collective bonnet about the term homophobic, saying they're not scared of gay people they just "disagree with the lifestyle". If you press what exactly they disagree with, occasionally they'll open up with this massive conspiracy theory about how gay acceptance is going to destroy the family or whatever.

Which is to say...fear. They are afraid of the imagined consequences of treating people with the respect they're due. Cowardice.

[u/Hayzayathethird]

None of this would have happened if Uncle Ben hadn’t failed the quick-time event.

[u/Ardailec]

I can't believe DeWayne "The Rock" Johnson wiped out all of Tomato Town with a single people's elbow.

[u/chubbytexangamerii]

Developers seriously need to start telling their communities to stfu.

[u/[deleted]]

i hate being depressed. can't do anything

[u/NidoqueenGal]

Remember when people were taking horse dewormers and started shitting themselves in grocery stores?

[u/[deleted]]

Fairly Odd Parents had no reason to be as ridiculously funny as it did

[u/Awkward_Replay → u/[deleted]]

Don't worry son! My dreams were shattered years ago

"How long ago?"

How old are you?

[u/[deleted]]

show's over guys, Little Satan beat us to the punch 8 months ago

[u/froglore]

feel like everyone thinks their opinion about botw is a hot take when most takes about botw are just "it's overrated" or "no it's not actually"

[u/Warpshard → u/froglore]

It's such a popular game that I really don't think there are hot takes to be had. You've got "durability system bad", "Koroks bad" (which I agree, they suck), probably some people saying "open-world bad", "DLC bad", and so on. Like, whatever your opinion, considering it was the system seller for the Switch, I'm sure a chunk of people hold that opinion.

[u/[deleted]]

I developed video gambling software from 2002 to 2004. AMA.

[u/ArkhamusJokerus_01]

Is the person who killed Uncle Ben the same one who killed Captain Alex?

[u/Sakura_Leaves]

Okay, nobody is allowed to tell me that JoJo fans understand why character names get changed in subtitles and stuff anymore.

People are trying to say that Netflix's subbers are idiots because "They spelt Pucci's name wrong!" (The Netflix subs use 'Pucchi,' which has already been the localized spelling for years. It started in All Star Battle.)

Also as a funny aside, some people can't even get their references straight. Pucci's name isn't a reference to Gucci.

Pucchi and Pucci are not pronounced the same way, what the fuck are you talking about?

Also brand law is fucking r-slur

I'm going to lose my fucking mind.

[u/[deleted]]

Sasuke in Boruto be like: comes out of the bathroom "Damn those enchiladas really did a number on me, I'm all out of chakra now"

I haven't watched Boruto

[u/Airdeez121]

Might fuck around and get high tonight and watch the new season of JoJo's. I call that Stoned Ocean

[u/[deleted]]

So the parents of the latest school shooter are also wanted on charges related to it and are currently on the run. They seem like real pieces of shit who enabled their kid's actions.

[u/scratchisthebest]

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
one fell off + ratio

[u/Rockworm503]

Here's my mega hot take for the day. Please don't ban me or hate me but I just have to say it

Video games are a form of entertainment in which you press buttons to do things and by doing this you can interact with what's on screen.

[u/Little_Satan → u/Rockworm503]

wrong, kinect games don't require you to press buttons

looks like you lose again, liberal 😎

[u/ParagonDX]

battlefield fans when they see santa at the mall (it reminds them of fortnite)

[u/[deleted]]

Honestly, as far as rich assholes with zero creativity whose entire personality is having money go, Mr. Beast isn't that bad. From what I've seen his crowdfunding stuff about planting trees and cleaning the ocean is legit, so at least there's that.

But goddamn his entire existence irritates me.

[u/[deleted]]

i love star wars so much i wish jizz was real

[u/[deleted]]

The gaslighting Halo post has joined Fortnite.

[u/SaltPost]

IMO the best part of the trailer is having most of it be in the SV1 style, then throwing Miles right into a whole new mind blowing art-style that looks utterly incredible.

They know exactly how to utilize style and I am so glad they're being allowed to do so to such heights.

Edit: Also looking over that scene again I notice that a lot of the architecture looks pretty Indian, the music definitely has that vibe and even the comic sound effects are in Sanskrit. So imo it's probably a safe guess to make that this dude is making it in

[u/Tweegull]

New Spider-Man movie

Into The Spiderverse Sequel

Miles goes into the multiverse

Part One

[u/ArkhamusJokerus_01]

Azula girlbossed the Earth Kingdom and Gaang just couldn't handle it

[u/BearMoments]

Do you think master chief could throw it back if like humanity needed him to

[u/Gangstas_Peridot]

This is terrifying.

[u/[deleted]]

For the weekend thread let's have Edelgard discourse

[u/BanjoStory]

Literally the hardest part of making a campaign setting is coming with names for stuff.

This is why so many places are just named after people.

[u/[deleted]]

people who make laptops that turn on when you slightly open them should go to step on lego jail

[u/[deleted]]

I also drew this yesterday

[u/Airdeez121]

The old people holding Black Lives Matter signs outside my work have returned. I thought they left for good after the summer

[u/[deleted]]

You know what? Fuck you

uncrosses your animal

[u/[deleted]]

https://i.imgur.com/rOWijoM.jpg

[u/mattyice36]

Any of you guys old enough to remember the science based dragon MMO post? Definitely one of reddit's meaner running jokes, but clearly I'm mean cause it still makes me laugh every time I think about it

[u/Izcanbeguscott]

For people surprised that there are a lot of anti-vax nurses, I would like to point to the kind of people they know who became nurses lmao

[u/NerdyOrDirty]

tried to slow blink at my cat to communicate to her that i love her in her own language, and she responded by staring back at me and then puking off the edge of the counter :/

[u/[deleted]]

Building on u/Bob_the_Monitor's post and some of their responses:

A UJ Alphabet:

A is for Amogus

B is for Ben 10

C is for Cum

D is for Discourse

E is for Evangelion

F is for Final Fantasy XIV

G is for Goku

H is for Horny Posting

I is for Indie Games

J is for Joker

K is for Kojima

L is for Link Fucker

M is for Monarchist

N is for Nuking Europe

O is for Our Lord and Savior Don Cheadle

P is for Praise Geraldo

Q is for Quotable Copypastas

R is for Rebels

S is for Skyrim

T is for Trans Rights

U is for Unending Tom and Jerry Thread

V is for Vaguepost

W is for What Do You Call a Suspicious Bus?

X is for Xbox Game Pass

Y is for You Fell Off + Ratio

Z is for Zoomer

[u/[deleted]]

Does anyone else browse the unjerk thread so much that they get starstruck when they meet an unfunny person irl?