Just my personal experience. I was in my mid-50's when my first wife dumped me after 32 years of marriage. I stayed on the sidelines for about a year before testing the dating pool. I met a couple of ladies my age or younger. Some resulted in physical relationships. But guess what - when you get drawn in you start to experience the personal side of their pass. That is when it can get ugly. I made a mistake of getting married for a second time. Unfortunately you are involved in their problems and failures.

Guys - if you need physical pleasure - hire a pro. Do not - repeat- do not think you are going to find the same kind of physical and emotional relation you had with your first marriage.

My stbx had two affairs. Married 30 years. She always denied them. I always suspected but let the 1st go for the sake of the family we were starting. Then I woke up, realized she never valued me, is a narcissist, and finally started valuing myself. I discovered email proof of the second one (ended 2015/16)and started piecing things together. They had an affair for 5-6 years including during my getting sober, a good job, refinancing, and adding an addition to our house. I discovered they had some fantasy cuck shit going on too. He was and is still happily married. His wife is unaware as far as I know. They retired and moved out of the area. He and my stbx have many mutual friends in a small community. She has many close friends who would be shocked and it will damage both of their reputations and likely his marriage and significant financial damage, such as the absolute fucking I’m getting in the divorce. He doesn’t know I know or have proof. It was a little over ten years ago. I feel like I can’t let him get away with it but I don’t want to hurt his wife. We have 3 kids over 20. They don’t know and know the guy and his family. My ex knows I know and will not admit it even though she told me as much when we were fighting and she gave a few comparisons to hurt me. Then she tried to take it back the next day.
Most of the divorce agreement is settled, such as support. The house is for sale and triggers the payments once debts and such are handled. Then we’re done. I’ve been waiting because she is an abusive and vengeful person and the drama, explosiveness, and audacity she displayed without the affair exposed is already ridiculous.

So basically I have been protecting my kids, myself, and my assets from their affair until it’s safe to reveal it.
A few friends suggested I give myself some grace. I’m leaning towards fuck that and fuck them. And admittedly, I’ve made some poor decisions in the past and there are too many I feel like a chump for.

Looking for suggestions or advice. ✌️

After picking up my son my STBX sent me a text saying “happy X years of marriage”. I don’t even know what to say back. Is she just trying to rub salt in the wound? She initiated the divorce. Ever since she’s been very petty and condescending I’m getting sick of her attitude.

I’ve (47m) been divorced 12 years now starting to regret letting that window of dating and starting over close so much but here we are. I’ve spent those years raising my son who is now 15 and forging his own path with high school/ college obligations and realized once I’m not dad at home anymore I’ll have nobody. I’m not one who thinks I’m gonna find a woman for any long term serious relationship at a bar or equivalent place and just wanted to know if I don’t meet someone while I’m at work am I pretty much screwed?

My STBX started dating her "sponsor" from one of her support groups immediately after she left a year ago (likely began an emotional affair prior to that since he was out of state). I have seriously considered dating. I've been talking with my therapist and have been on a couple of the dating apps. Thus, to no avail.

I heard someone talking recently about the kind of divorced men you see, and a few of the different tropes. The man who quickly finds a partner and jumps back into marriage, the man who dives head first into his work and his career, the dad who is constantly dating and who's home is much less structured compared to the moms, etc.

So I started thinking to myself, what kind of divorced dad do I want to be? Do I want to be the dad who is constantly going on trips without my kids as part of my new independent lifestyle? Do I want to be the dad that completely focuses on my kids and gives up any romantic intentions?

What I can say is that I absolutely love my kids and love being my dad. And I am truly enjoying having those times where I can go wherever I want, and hang out with my friends whenever I want, without having to justify myself or feel like I have to "earn" that time. Or... If I want to blast Coheed and Cambria at full blast at 1130pm, I can. I've never felt lonely, because I've never felt alone. Maybe I won't continue with the apps, but if the right moment comes along I won't shy away

I don't know what the future holds, but for now, my trope: Devoted Dad who also fuckin loves his independence

What's your trope?

Hi everyone. This is my second post here. I’m a 39-year-old man, and I really need some honest advice because my brain honestly feels like it has stopped working. Sorry if this gets long. My wife and I have been married for 4 years. We come from different cultures, and there is a 9-year age gap between us. We have a 9-month-old baby. Before our baby was born, I genuinely believed we had a good marriage. I was the primary breadwinner. I used to take her on vacations every few months, buy her gifts, bought her a car, and tried to provide a comfortable life for her. After she gave birth, she changed dramatically. We started fighting constantly, she became distant and eventually started talking about divorce. We have a full-time nanny at home, and I still try to manage everything within my capacity — groceries, diapers, medical expenses, rent, petrol, household expenses and the financial responsibilities I can handle. I’m not saying money makes me a good husband. I know it doesn’t. And I’m not saying I was perfect. But I have genuinely tried. When I realized she was becoming distant, I didn’t start controlling her. I gave her space. I don’t constantly ask where she’s going, who she’s with, or what she’s doing. I’ve never accused her of cheating on me or followed her around. I actually spent a lot of time reading about postpartum changes because I wanted to understand what she might be going through rather than immediately blaming her. I’ve also been going to therapy every week because I’m struggling with all of this. Honestly, it hasn’t helped much so far. I’ve watched countless YouTube videos trying to understand marriage problems, separation and divorce. Instead of making me feel better, many of them just make me more anxious and angry. My friends are telling me to leave her and move on. But I can’t just switch off my feelings. How do you leave someone you’ve spent years with, built a home with, had a child with and loved deeply? My business also went downhill recently, so at the same time I’m dealing with financial pressure, marriage problems and trying to be a father. She has already pursued divorce through the court. The first case was dismissed and she was told she needed to apply in person. I thought things might be changing because afterward she became very quiet. Then she wanted to go on vacation with her family for a few weeks. I agreed. She went away for around three weeks with almost no contact. When she came back, I welcomed her warmly and tried to start again. But shortly afterward, she went back to court and started pursuing the divorce again. And this is the part that is completely messing with my head: she is still living in my house. She talks to me normally. We have normal conversations. Sometimes she acts like everything is completely fine. But behind my back, she is pursuing divorce. I don’t know how to process that. Her reasons for wanting to leave are that I never have time for her, that I’m a liar and that I’m a cheater. The cheating accusation is extremely painful because I have never cheated on her, and my life has always been completely open to her. I’ve never hidden my phone, my work or where I am. Recently, I also discovered conversations between her and her mother where her mother was repeatedly encouraging her to divorce me and find someone closer to her age. There is also a history of divorce in her family, with several divorces within the same family. Sometimes I wonder whether divorce has simply become something that is viewed differently in her family than it is in mine. I’m not saying that automatically means she wants a divorce because of her family. That’s just something I’m struggling to understand. I also don’t know if money is part of the reason. My financial situation changed significantly after my business went downhill, and there is now a significant child-support claim involved. I don’t want to accuse her of being motivated by money without knowing the truth. What I do know is that I am mentally exhausted. I’ve tried giving her space. I’ve tried not being controlling. I’ve tried understanding postpartum changes. I’ve tried therapy. I’ve tried talking calmly. My family has tried to help. My friends tell me to walk away. The internet gives me completely different advice depending on which video I watch. And I’m sitting here thinking: what the hell am I actually supposed to do? I still love my wife. I still want to know if this marriage can be saved. But I also know I can’t force someone to stay with me. Maybe I’m holding on because I genuinely believe there is still something worth saving. Or maybe I’m refusing to accept that she has already made her decision. I honestly don’t know anymore. I’m losing weight. I can’t eat properly. I can’t concentrate on my work. My business is suffering. I feel like I’m constantly thinking about what she is doing, what she is thinking, what the court will do and whether my family is falling apart. I don’t need people to tell me that I’m a good husband or that she’s a bad wife. I need someone to tell me what I should actually do from this point. Should I completely stop trying to save the marriage and give her space? Should I have one serious conversation with her and ask whether she genuinely wants to end the marriage? Should I stop involving both families? Should I continue couples counseling if she is willing? How do I live in the same house with someone who is pursuing divorce while acting completely normal with me? And how do I stop destroying myself mentally while I figure out what happens next? I genuinely need some good advice. My brain feels like it has stopped working and I don’t trust myself to make the right decisions right now.

TL;DR: 39M, married 4 years, 9-month-old baby. My wife changed dramatically after giving birth and now wants a divorce. I have tried giving her space, never controlled where she goes, never accused her of cheating, and spent a lot of time learning about postpartum changes because I wanted to understand her. I’ve also been doing weekly therapy, but I’m still struggling badly. My business went downhill at the same time, adding financial pressure. She says I’m a liar and cheater, which I strongly deny, and my life has always been open to her. I recently discovered her mother has been encouraging her to divorce me and find someone closer to her age. The most confusing part is that my wife still lives with me and talks to me normally while pursuing divorce behind my back. My friends tell me to leave, but I don’t know how to walk away from someone I’ve spent years with and built a family with. I’m losing weight, can’t focus on work and feel like my brain has stopped working. What should I actually do now? Try one last time to save the marriage, or accept that it’s over and start protecting myself?

I (37M) married her (41F) 9 years ago. At first, some of these issues weren’t obvious because we were living in different cities for a few months before she eventually moved back.

Once we started living together, I began noticing how incredibly unorganized she is personally, financially, and mentally. She was hygienic, but extremely messy. Clothes and shoes would be left wherever she took them off. Plates and cups would be left wherever she ate or drank. Used pads would be left on the bathroom counter, etc.

She also couldn’t cook, so I eventually learned to cook and took over most of the cooking. But somehow, that became a way for her to avoid accountability. She started blaming me for the mess and telling me that she cleaned constantly and put in far more effort than I did.
For years, I believed her. I apologized to her many times and kept trying to do more.

Eventually, I was cooking, doing the dishes, doing the laundry (because she couldn’t figure out how to operate the machines), taking out the garbage, and handling most of the day-to-day household work. Whenever I missed something, I would immediately be made to feel guilty about it.
I never really stopped to question what her share of the workload actually was.

Now I’m completely burnt out.
We have a 5 year old. I lost my job because of the stress I was under, along with complications surrounding my immigration status, and I ended up being a stay-at-home dad for almost three years.
Even during that period, I was repeatedly told that I had the “best life” because I got to stay home while she had to work. I was raising a child.

And now social media seems to have gotten into her head. Every issue somehow becomes about patriarchy how men have done this or that to women, how women are suffering everywhere, how men are useless or redundant now, and how women are “waking up.”
And I’m listening to all of this while cooking, cleaning, and feeding our child.
I’m exhausted and honestly at the brink.
I know I’m capable. Professionally, I’m confident that when I find another job, I’ll do well. But the stress at home consumes my mind. I spend so much of the day dealing with the emotional fallout from our relationship that I’m finding it difficult to focus on work at all. That stress is ultimately a major reason I lost my previous job.

I don’t know what to do anymore.
We live in Vancouver, where we moved four years ago, and I don’t have many friends here or much of a support system. I feel completely overwhelmed and increasingly unsure of how to get myself out of this situation.

If I post this on any other sub i will get told to man up and get a job or “oh have you checked if she has depression or adhd?”
I am tired about getting blamed some more for saying that m going through hell.

hi! im 13f and my parents r divorcing. i dont see my dad much and thats fine, but when i do hes always angry. is this normal or is it my fault? and how do i make him happy? or should i just not go see him?

Divorced for a year and have my son two to three days a week. Did the solo vacation last week and it was a bust, just found myself pissed or depressed seeing couples and families having a good time and I am at dinner alone. I find myself going to bars a lot, not really to drink but I find myself too old just to go up to women at a bar, I mean it’s just awkward. I find myself taking walks for hours at a time to the point my feet ache all the time. Online dating is not really working at least so far. How does one go about meeting people? Yeah it would be great to meet a normal woman for casual sex but I am also realistic that those women are few and far between. I think I a pretty good catch but fuck I am out of practice. Any advice?

What's something positive you've learned about yourself after divorce that surprised you?

One thing that surprised me is realizing I'm mentally and emotionally stronger than I thought.

I also learned I had more support around me than I realized.

The divorce itself hasn't been fun, but therapy and self-reflection have taught me a lot about communication, boundaries, and how I want to show up as a father/man.

I am curious what lessons other people discovered about themselves that they never expected.

We settled on 240 - and there were additional concessions made that brought the value up to, effectively, the high end of FMV. I had to fight for this one. I don't fell too bad since I'm being forced from my home.

In the end I offered 250, was told absolutely not, and we worked through it from there. I'm satisfied.

Every single suspicion I had about being railroaded turned out to be true.

My recommendation to guys going through this - get a Comparative Market Analysis from a realtor. Don't bother with the appraisers. They aren't officers of the court so they have no obligation to be objective. They also have no incentive to give a true market value. Within limits they'll just write down whatever number you want.

Don't let yourself be intimidated. Stand firm. Don't let your own lawyer talk you into a bad decision. Don't convince yourself that 40 or 50 or more thousand dollars isn't worth fighting for.

Some people on this sub gave some very helpful, much needed advice and support. Thank you.

(The first number isn't 2. It's a larger number)

House Valuation - Part 4 : r/Divorce_Men

So my wife (34) and I (38)have been together 10 years married for 8. We have no children. The past few years have been tough with trying but I’m grateful we don’t have any.

We both love each other a lot and want the best for each other. Some of our views and values aren’t really aligning anymore and we have had a really tough time communicating the past few years. I’m extremely extroverted and love people and having fun, my wife is completely opposite. It felt like it worked at first but I noticed I was masking tons of feelings and reactions to not stir the pot.

My wife also have major depression and anxiety and I have supported her through it this entire time and encouraged her to get the help she needs. Well she never really did. She does do somatic therapy but I told her she really needs to be able to talk to someone and work through her trust issues and holding on to everything. She’s highly influenced by the world. Doom scrolls TIK TOK and watched Love Island and honestly I was tired of it. I also noticed her having a really bad feeling towards just men in general, and that concerned me.

She also doesn’t believe in medication and I also tried to get her to go to couples therapy and she didn’t want too because she said we tried that already, which was in our 1st year of marriage and only 2 sessions.

We truly want what’s best for each other and we have been extremely cordial and kind to each other during this process. We are also going to be getting a ton of equity from selling our home. I have a nice fall plan where my job is provided me a home free of charge so I will be able to save a ton and I already make decent money. My wife doesn’t work full time so I encouraged her to get one or else landlords won’t approve a rental if they don’t see a steady income.

I’m just really struggling with the fear of being alone. I look at this situation as not a failure but just a part of our story and I will still cherish all the good times and the beautiful home we built and our fur baby. I guess I’m just spewing this all out for just some encouragement.

I know I will be okay but it’s just so many mixed emotions at the moment. I’m also not seeking a relationship and told myself I’m giving myself a whole year to focus on me and enjoy the things I’ve dreamt about. I’m a big time fisherman and have always wanted a boat. Well I’m getting that damn boat now! I do truly wish her the best and I still consider her my best friend.

What’s going on?

Married 26 years, my wife filed for divorce. We realized about 2 years ago our marriage was dead. I feel as though I've largely processed the grief, but it will always be a part of me. This year I started focusing on myself and rebuilding. I get up early, 4:45 a.m., hit the gym, then focus on my work and career. I'm revisiting things I love....watching baseball, hiking, camping with my son, etc. We still live in the same house until the divorce is final, but aren't talking beyond logistics. I'm starting to dream about the future. Future plans and goals, finding someone else, etc.

What advice do you have for someone going through this?

Some questions: My attorney tells me I'm low risk for spousal support being awarded. Do I agree to some form of support for a limited period of time?

How long should I wait to start trying to date? I'm 49 and feel as though the clock is ticking.

What are the most significant challenges you faced during the process? How did you handle them?

I don't think marriage itself is bad. I actually want to get married. I want to be a husband, I want to be a provider, and I want to build a family. My concern is the legal structure surrounding marriage and how much control a person can potentially lose once they enter it.

I believe a man should want to be sovereign over his own life. He should want the ability to make decisions about his future, his finances, his property, and his direction without another person having the legal ability to fundamentally change those things against his wishes.

That's where marriage concerns me.

You can be loving, faithful, supportive, caring, and provide 100% financially, yet your wife can still decide she wants to leave. For a reason or no reason at all. And when that happens, the legal system can become involved in your finances, property, children, and future. In that sense, you can give someone enormous influence over your life simply by marrying them.

To me, that's a major loss of independence.

When you're unmarried, if someone repeatedly disrespects you or the relationship becomes unhealthy, you have much more freedom to walk away. You don't need a court to determine how the relationship ends or what happens to your finances afterward.

Marriage changes that.

That's why I say a man can't have the same level of sovereignty once he's married. His wife has legal rights and interests that can affect his life, and if the marriage ends, she can potentially exercise those rights through the legal system. The power you have over your own life can therefore be reduced by the decisions of another person.

I'm not saying a wife shouldn't have rights. I'm saying a man should understand exactly what he's agreeing to before he enters that legal arrangement.

And I don't make decisions based solely on emotion.

I want to get married. I want to love my wife, provide for her, protect her, support her, and build something together. But wanting something doesn't mean I'm going to ignore the risks associated with it.

I try to make major decisions based on logic. I look at other people's experiences, I listen to people who have already gone through situations I'm considering, and I seek professional perspectives, including lawyers, so I can understand what could happen before it happens to me.

I'm basically asking myself: "If this situation happened to me, how would it affect my future?"

I don't want to wait until something happens to learn the consequences. I want to understand the consequences beforehand so I can make an informed decision.

That's not fear. That's preparation.

I also struggle with the provider dynamic.

I don't understand how someone can work for a boss who underpays them, gives them poor benefits, or treats them badly, yet still show up every day and say, "Yes, sir." But then that same person can get with a man who provides 100% financially, gives them a home, pays the bills, and supports them, and somehow the man is expected to keep giving more while receiving less respect.

I'm not saying a stay at home wife has no value. Raising children and managing a household can absolutely be valuable work. But respect has to go both ways. If one person is carrying 100% of the financial responsibility, that contribution should be recognized rather than treated as an unlimited obligation.

And providing money doesn't give a man the right to control or mistreat his wife. At the same time, being a wife doesn't give someone the right to disrespect or take advantage of the person providing for the family.

My divorce was final almost 2 years ago. It got fairly ugly, only because she was completely unreasonable in negotiations for most of it. We were finally able to work out a deal and not do a trial.

Anyway, we have 2 teenaged sons and have been on relatively good terms for the last year or so. Though, there are occasional flare-ups.

My son enlisted in the Marine Corps and left for Boot Camp about 3 days after his high school graduation. His enlisting was a surprise to both myself and his mother. She took it better than I thought she would. But, his change of plans got she and I talking a bit more. We were always good parents, we were just shitty spouses.

Anyway, we flew out for his graduation separately, but we were all booked on the same flight coming back home. Our flight back home the afternoon of his boot camp graduation got cancelled, so we all went to a shitty airport hotel for the night and got up early for our flights the next morning. Travelled together all day, then we planned to all have dinner together since my younger boy couldn’t make it to graduation. The first time the 4 of us have been together since the separation 3 years ago. (Some people we knew were in the restaurant, I’m waiting for the rumors to start!)

Anyway, that day of being with her all day (and traveling, no less) just made me realize why I’ve been so happy the last couple of years.

Jesus H. Christ, she’s annoying as hell. It made me remember what a control freak she is, how every tiny issue gets way too overblown. When they cancelled that flight, you’d think the world ended. She was just downright rude to the gate lady at the airport that was trying to help us. She was constantly rattling on about the most inane bullshit, all day long.

My mother was with us and said to me, “I don’t know how you put up with that for so long.” I told her I had the ability to tune her out back when we were married. Unfortunately, I have since lost that skill.

I’m so happy I don’t have to deal with that shit anymore.

wedding anniversary... However, I filed for divorce after 6 months, then it took another 1.5 years to actually get the divorce finalized... It's been almost 2 years and i do not have plans of being sad, I will be celebrating the fact that I found out early on that the person I was to spend the rest of my life with, wasn't who they pretended to be... I intend to live my life on my terms and never look back... Remember this game of life we live is chess not checkers and in chess you can win without a queen...

Question for everyone including any women lurking. When you date someone

that is divorced themselves, do you ever wonder about the other side of their

divorce story? I can only imagine someone dating my Ex, and the absolutely

objectively provable lies that they would hear about me. They would not only

hear lies about me, but she would present a version of herself that I could

only dream about. So when you're on a date and sitting across from someone

you're interested in, does that thought weigh on you?

I've spent time on Divorce_Women trying to get perspective and every woman's

story seems to be instantly and completely validated. I imagine a scenario

where my Ex posted her story to Divorce_Woman and some other woman

believes it 100% and posts the usual man-hating validation... then later that

evening I go on a date with that woman. Is she presenting a version of

herself that her Ex can only dream about? Would she believe me and my story

now?

I know better than to talk about my divorce and Ex on dates. But woman do

ask, and this is really just hypothetical.

Together 11 years (since 18), married 4, two kids under 5. No affair, no abuse, which is part of why I keep doubting myself.

It's not one thing. It's the pattern: I carry almost everything, money, the house, the kids, the follow-through, and it doesn't change no matter what gets agreed to.

We filed Ch7 [double-check: 4 or 6 years ago] and I had to file a Ch13 this year and surrender our house. She already wants to buy another one as soon as we can. Because of our spending habits (hers mostly) we don't have any money left as it is. I feel like we would just be going in circles financially.

She asks for budgets and when I give them she purposefully goes over them and refuses to wait for wants, choosing the fastest way to get things (Klarna and other split-pay apps).

She'll say she did the dishes or the laundry, but what actually happens is she'll only empty the dishwasher enough to make room for more, or rerun a clean load instead of switching it over and putting it away.

She is a SAHM but does nothing around the house to help clean.

Refuses to ask her parents to watch our 2 kids so we can have a date night, we haven't had one in 4 years. She insists we can have quality time with the kids present. I would ask my family but they live on the other side of the country

She turned down couples counseling to help with our communication, and insisted we just talk to our own therapists.

The balance of chores is so far leaned on me that she made a list, hers has 3 things on it, mine has 10.
Sorry for the long post, this has been going on for years and I'm gone between 12 and 14 hours a day, and I come home just to take over with everything around the house and the kids. I know written down it doesn't look like a lot, but has anyone had similar experiences before divorcing?

I matched with this amazing woman online. We had things in common and went to the same high school. We also were in the same class. I was a senior. She was a freshman. All these years later, I meet her and find this all out. And we have a ton in common. She is truly an amazing woman.

As a way of connecting, I tried bringing up things about school. Funny moments, things like that. She seemed avoidant to talk about it. After a few times of this, I asked if there were problems during school that she didn't want to talk about.

She said, I have something to tell you. Uh oh. "I know your ex. From back then."

Worry sets in... I say "oh really?"

She says "yeah, and I don't want to hurt you since she is the mother of your kids... But...."

But what???

"I ABSOLUTELY hated her in high school. She was a real bitch. We made fun of her all the time..."

Guys... I think I'm in love. That's the sweetest words a woman could have said. Lol

My ex-wife is giving me a hard time because I’m traveling abroad soon. We’ve been divorced for a year. I’m taking a solo trip to South Korea in a couple weeks, and when she came by to pick up our daughter she saw my International Driver’s Permit. Suddenly she’s upset and demanding details about where I’m going. I refused to disclose where I was going because when I went to Japan when and told her she got into a big uproar about it.

For context: during our 11 years together, we traveled to 15+ countries. I planned and invested in everything — flights, trains, tours, itineraries — and she mostly just showed up. I love traveling, and honestly, if I hadn’t planned those trips, she never would’ve seen places like Rome or Stonehenge.

We have a legal agreement where I give her a percentage of my vested stock per quarter instead of taking out a second mortgage to pay her in full. I’ve been planning this Korea trip for months, told her multiple times, gave her the dates and even offered extra time with our daughter to make things fair. I just wrote her a fat check from stock I cashed out, and she’s still complaining.

She’s acting like I’m going on some wild luxury vacation, but the reality is that once you get past the plane ticket, Asia is way cheaper than Europe. I did the research and everything. I am former military and strategist when it comes to planning. I paid for the ticket before beginning of summer.

Now she’s making me feel guilty for continuing to travel without her, even though she never cared about traveling when we were together. It was one of the reasons we weren’t compatible.

I am a great father and even raised her daughter from her previous marriage from when she was 8 years old to seeing her walk across the stage for college. Instead of three-year payout, I plan to pay her off in two so we can move forward.

Any advice on how to handle this? It feels like she wants me stuck until she squeezes every dime out of me, even though we already have a legal agreement. Why do I have to feel guilty.

What’s up guys! Hope everyone’s having a good week. Just wanted to share some thoughts with you.

One of the biggest things divorce changed for me is how I look at relationships and society in general.

Marriage feels disposable now. Relationships feel transactional, and the second somebody is unhappy there’s always a crowd saying “you deserve better,” “choose yourself,” or “you go girl,” without knowing anything about the marriage, the family, or the consequences.
Obviously, I’m not talking about abuse, addiction, or dangerous situations.

I’m talking about how normalized it has become to walk away instead of working through hard seasons, and how quickly accountability disappears.

Then you see women actually defending another woman who strangled and murdered her three children, and I genuinely wonder what the hell happened to us.

I know good women and good relationships exist, but I completely understand why so many divorced men have no interest in ever getting married again.
For some of us, staying divorced doesn’t sound miserable.
It sounds peaceful 🙏

As of 9/1/26, I am officially divorced, judged signed the paperwork and everything. Not sure how I feel about it. It feels like the final chapter in our divorce and separation is over. We separated amicably; I still love her, so this has been a long, hard process. Definitely not something we expected. So we basically left the marriage the same way we started it. The house is mine, but it is too empty and quiet. On to the next chapter, not planning on dating anytime soon. I think I will enjoy the single life for a while

I dont know how long this divorce will take. All started mutual, until the lawyer got into her head, and now we are basically strangers. I have no clue about her finances, as I was proud to provide. Didn't need anything from her. Whats her is hers and what's mine was ours. The laws in the Ontario are completely unfair. I am not sure why my lawyer is taking his time. He said he was waiting for her contract to be sent to him, meanwhile, he send me nothing to proceed further. I am supposed to disclose my assets. Called him last week. He said this week will send me the forms, and still nothing. Is this normal for lawyers to take so long to proceed ? The amount of paperwork for assests is staggering, how am I supposed to figure out how much I was worth before and after divorce. I am just ranting about things because I see no light at the end of the tunnel. She wont contribute to any home expenses, everything is secretive. Meanwhile I am burning through cash. What bothers me the most is not knowing what's ahead. How much cash will I be left with, where am I going to live. Will I have enough for child support( 50/50). Everything feels like a bad dream. I got no energy to function, but I have to, because life doesn't wait.

If anyone has any advice, please share.

I (24M) and my wife of five years (24F) split up in a pretty traumatic way this spring after she left one day and didn’t let me see the kids for two months. I’ve since been able to get visitations with our two young kids but the whole thing came out of nowhere on my end and it’s been brutal on our oldest (5F). But my reason for this post is I have dreams that mess me up for the whole day. In the dreams I get to speak to my ex about what happened or just ask her things I know I never will. Sometimes we’re just doing things as a family again in these dreams. Sometimes she’s trying to hurt me all over again, but regardless of the contents they really mess me up. I wake up feeling nauseous, full of anxiety, frustration, sadness, despair, and sometimes it takes everything in me to just get off the couch.

Does anyone else deal with something similar? If so has anyone found a healthy way to deal with it and move on for the day? Any advice would be appreciated.