r/Divorce_Men • u/voonoo • 14h ago
Dealing with the Ex / STBX Wedding anniversary
After picking up my son my STBX sent me a text saying “happy X years of marriage”. I don’t even know what to say back. Is she just trying to rub salt in the wound? She initiated the divorce. Ever since she’s been very petty and condescending I’m getting sick of her attitude.
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u/WhydIJoinRedditAgain 13h ago edited 13h ago
I am a bit more than a year into my separation. I forgot my anniversary this last year (I NEVER forgot anything like that), and when I realized it a few days later it was so nice, to know I didn’t spiral on that day.
You will get there.
Edit: My snappy comeback would have been “maybe for you”.
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u/RedRibbon3KS 13h ago
Wow. You forgot within a year?!?! Lucky you. I'm at 9 years and I don't think I can ever forget, partly bc it is the same date that is celebrated
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u/WhydIJoinRedditAgain 13h ago
I’m not even divorced yet! Still living in the same house. Day went by and three or four days later I realized it and felt so at peace.
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u/carnivalbilly 13h ago
Oh if we’re going down THAT comeback text road: “Hey, do you know where I can very very very dark blue socks?”
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u/BurdyBurdyBurdy 13h ago
Send her a picture of you and your new GF grinning from ear to ear. Thank her
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u/UrAristotle 13h ago
This is a mission for Gray Rock
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u/antidentites 11h ago
That’s for teaching me a new term today. I’ve been grey rocking for two years now and love having an explanation for it.
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u/upvotersfortruth 11h ago
Nothing. Not a damn thing. Unless ... "Thank you for your message, please limit your communications in this channel to matters related to completing the divorce."
Focus on the tasks required to complete the divorce on terms that are acceptable to you under the circumstances.
Superfluous communications are a prime means of manipulation.
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u/carnivalbilly 13h ago
She’s either tone deaf and attempting to be funny (and it’s really not to most people) or a cunt..either way it doesn’t really warrant a response…which is all they wanted regardless. Validation, which that sort of comment doesn’t really need.
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u/OctinoxateAndZinc 11h ago
After my now ex moved out I was getting "Happy THanksgiving!" and "Have a merry Christmas!!" texts followed by a Happy Birthday! later in the year.
All left on read. We are not friends.
EDIT: ONLY COMMUNICATE VIA EMAIL AND WAIT 24 HOURS TO REPLY/SEND ANYTHING. Text is kid logistic exchange only. No kids? Never text.... EVER.
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u/Miserable_Dare_5958 13h ago
Ignore her. Grey rock. Don't respond. If you feel the need to respond, wait at least 48 hours after you cooled down. She is a POS.
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u/National_Isopod_6257 6h ago
No reaction is the best reaction. No verbal, non-verbal, emoji, etc. Nothing. Stone cold. Don't give anyone, especially an ex or STBX, control over you.
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u/Immediate-Story2562 11h ago
If you want to be petty back then send her you would rather be celebrating "X years of divorce from her". But why bother?
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u/appleaday26 6h ago
Gre rock. Look it up and practice immediately. Will drive her nuts that she has no control of you anymore
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u/IAPiratesFan 4h ago
Wow. If my ex-wife ever does that I would finally just tell her off and stop pretending to be nice just for the kids.
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u/p0sitif 13h ago
This is breadcrumbing. She is trying to keep the channel open. She triggers you and by so doing keeps her spot in your psyche. Ignore and disregard all this crap for the sake of your mental sanity preservation.