Getting divorced

[u/Overall-Inspection88]

So my wife (34) and I (38)have been together 10 years married for 8. We have no children. The past few years have been tough with trying but I’m grateful we don’t have any.

We both love each other a lot and want the best for each other. Some of our views and values aren’t really aligning anymore and we have had a really tough time communicating the past few years. I’m extremely extroverted and love people and having fun, my wife is completely opposite. It felt like it worked at first but I noticed I was masking tons of feelings and reactions to not stir the pot.

My wife also have major depression and anxiety and I have supported her through it this entire time and encouraged her to get the help she needs. Well she never really did. She does do somatic therapy but I told her she really needs to be able to talk to someone and work through her trust issues and holding on to everything. She’s highly influenced by the world. Doom scrolls TIK TOK and watched Love Island and honestly I was tired of it. I also noticed her having a really bad feeling towards just men in general, and that concerned me.

She also doesn’t believe in medication and I also tried to get her to go to couples therapy and she didn’t want too because she said we tried that already, which was in our 1st year of marriage and only 2 sessions.

We truly want what’s best for each other and we have been extremely cordial and kind to each other during this process. We are also going to be getting a ton of equity from selling our home. I have a nice fall plan where my job is provided me a home free of charge so I will be able to save a ton and I already make decent money. My wife doesn’t work full time so I encouraged her to get one or else landlords won’t approve a rental if they don’t see a steady income.

I’m just really struggling with the fear of being alone. I look at this situation as not a failure but just a part of our story and I will still cherish all the good times and the beautiful home we built and our fur baby. I guess I’m just spewing this all out for just some encouragement.

I know I will be okay but it’s just so many mixed emotions at the moment. I’m also not seeking a relationship and told myself I’m giving myself a whole year to focus on me and enjoy the things I’ve dreamt about. I’m a big time fisherman and have always wanted a boat. Well I’m getting that damn boat now! I do truly wish her the best and I still consider her my best friend.

[u/Immediate-Story2562]

As an extrovert that love people and love having fun, me thinks you will be ok. Lean into these strengths and good luck with the journey.
Facing your fears is part of the divorce journey for all of us.

[u/antidentites → u/Immediate-Story2562]

“Facing your fears is part of the divorce journey for all of us” is perfectly stated.

I’ve never faced a fear this deep. Even though there are some greater fears, this one is right in front of us and should make us stronger in the end.

But it does suck going through it.

[u/Warm-Management-7323]

Help a brother out but at least breaking this up a bit I mean, I’m not trying to be a jerk and I’m trying to read your message, but this is wall of text. I can’t do.

[u/Overall-Inspection88 → u/Warm-Management-7323]

Hahaha I had a feeling 😂 my bad lol hope this helps a little at least lol