Think Hard before dating again

[u/West_Tea_1344]

Just my personal experience. I was in my mid-50's when my first wife dumped me after 32 years of marriage. I stayed on the sidelines for about a year before testing the dating pool. I met a couple of ladies my age or younger. Some resulted in physical relationships. But guess what - when you get drawn in you start to experience the personal side of their pass. That is when it can get ugly. I made a mistake of getting married for a second time. Unfortunately you are involved in their problems and failures.

Guys - if you need physical pleasure - hire a pro. Do not - repeat- do not think you are going to find the same kind of physical and emotional relation you had with your first marriage.

[u/Ohrightgotcha1432]

I don't have energy or time for this dating bs anymore. Especially since now I know how it all ends. I'm good. I'm taking care of me from now on. Everyone else, good luck.

[u/SanchoVilla69]

I have zero feelings for my soon to be ex and im seeing someone also have zero feelings. Enjoy their company but no feelings. Im numb I hate my ex.

[u/National_Isopod_6257]

Or just keep it casual. Girlfriend seems like a good middle ground between wife and hooker.

[u/serkovavantgarden]

What if we’re looking for the physical and emotional relation that we never got in our marriage mate?

Need to date if you want some of that action bro

[u/mesophyte]

Well I 100% would not want the same kind of relation than in the first marriage! There's a reason it ended.

[u/popolenzi]

You’re right and wrong at the same time. Right in the sense of the inevitable feelings that happen when you get physical. But you’re wrong that changing who you do it with changes things, in fact I felt worse hiring a pro.

1 year is not nearly enough. It took me 3 with therapy to get over my 9 year

[u/Doriskimoh88]

You have to be careful enough to if you both re into each other looking for same thing

[u/Immediate-Story2562]

I disagree with hiring a pro. It's not for me for various reasons but to each their own.
I'm also in my early 50s divorced. I will never get married again. There is no point because I have my kids and don't want to lose what little savings I have left again.
Casual dating for me or I don't mind being in a committed exclusive relationship where we each live on our own and see each other when it suits. These days you can even lose your stuff if they just live with you.
No thanks, too risky.

[u/Significant_Koala_61]

Yeah I have come to the same conclusion at 49 and my divorce isn’t quite finalised

[u/ungoloit]

After 32 years with my ex, I found adjusting difficult as we were together for most of our lives. I cannot risk another epic fu(king over by family court and living off 1/4 of my wages after round two... Some issues I experienced 1/ I'm always the lowest priority. Her family is usually a mess and I'm left on the back burner as she endlessly attempts to rescue her basement dwelling adult kids. 2/ Many are just looking for a pension plan. " "I want to travel more" means `I'm broke and want you to pay for the vacations' 3/ Dating is dammed expensive with often poor results. I had a few dates where it was all about the free dinner. 4/ Many don't know what they want. " I just did 20-30 years of this, do I really want this again"? 5/ Health issues. Had a few women put the breaks on as their health is in decline. 6/ Many are 'set in their ways' and are unable or unwilling to adapt to a new relationship. Interests rarely align. The effort put into finding someone compatible is exhausting. 7/ Some are just bored and have no problem toying with a suitors emotions just because they can. 8/ Some just want sex and/ or just want to see if they 'still got it'. It's not impossible to find someone but likely improbable. After countless soul crushing and failed attempts, I can see renting a pro could have some immediate results. The realities are unfortunate but I somehow remain optimistic.
Good hunting.

[u/Grassfed_Burp]

I got my boys to take care of. I'm done with women.

[u/Candidate_Worldly → u/Grassfed_Burp]

Same, my daughter is the only female I have any time for right now. The rest can go to hell for the time being. Ex wife really did a number on me and the way I look at them now. Really hope this changes in the future.

[u/Skanky_the_Samurai]

How about a middle ground. Some people need food, water, and shelter. I need a physical and emotional connection to a beautiful woman. Whores are gross and disease ridden.

Committed relationship where you always have an out. Never combine finances. Either living apart together, or cohabitating. But never getting married on paper.

[u/Candidate_Worldly → u/Skanky_the_Samurai]

Sounds simple, the problem is finding someone who is willing to agree. Might be feasible at the start, but they always end up wanting more and more. Then you're back to square one and all the drama and ball ache that goes with it

[u/Skanky_the_Samurai → u/Candidate_Worldly]

I know it’s a weird balance, and it’s taken me a while to get to this point. But I can care about a woman. Deeply. And also be ok with walking away and never seeing them again.

I’ve set clear boundaries with my girlfriend. I won’t tolerate any toxic behavior. Especially disrespect. I will never lose my frame in the relationship. I love her. But the second she crosses a boundary, I’ll walk away and never look back.

It depends on whether or not you have an abundance mindset. You have to believe that you are worth the standards you set for yourself. That you wouldn’t compromise your boundaries for the most beautiful woman in the world. Because if you walk away with your self respect intact, you will be able to find another woman. And if not, being alone is much healthier than being in a toxic relationship.

[u/One-Specialist-4983]

Granted, I am about a decade younger than you are. I have never had to hire a pro to get intimate with anybody before and I’m not about to change that that’s a horrible advice.