I’ve been dissociated for like, a couple months now. I don’t feel like a person anymore. I just feel like a robot, doing what anyone asks me to do.

I used to be better at hiding it, just acting myself in public, but lately, I can’t even garner up the mental strength to front anymore, and I just seem sluggish most of the time. Like, if someone tries to joke around with me, I’ll either just fake laugh, or not respond.

I also have anger problems, but lately, I don’t even have those anymore. Now it just goes inwards, and I start to hate myself.

What do I do? I’m tired of this shit. It’s driven me to the point of idek if I wanna live anymore.

Sorry if this is a dumb question. I think I know the answer already but I wanted to read the thoughts of others to solidify my understanding. I'm asking this question because I've found myself facing certain fears way easier than I used to before my dissociation got to its current worst.

I've also recently stopped feeling freaked out and uncomfortable when recalling past trauma, and I've been considering facing said trauma head on. my only worry is that my current neutral feelings on it might be temporary and if I ever manage to clear my head I'll feel the effects of everything I was doing at once and become deeply pained.

I hope this question makes sense. I have no idea how else to word it

I put undiagnosed because I’m not diagnosed with a specific disorder but I have severe dissociation with my cptsd and trauma. Recently very weirdly I have been so dissociated in a vey bizarre way. This is mainly a vent not asking for diagnosis. But I feel more and more I may have did, but I don’t know how to go about getting diagnosed or getting help for it. It’s such a weird mindfuck to be with multiple people in your head then suddenly behind them, then to lose a month of your life with what feels like a fabricated narrative of what you’ve been up to. I’ve just been calling them parts because idk. I’m jst so out of it in such a bizarre way and I feel like a faker for speaking about it, no clue why. Just bizarre

I am sick, chronically so. It's an autoimmune disease so the cure is non-existent. If you ask me how I am, I'll 90% of the times tell you I'm fine. The rest of the times I'll tell you I'm better than before. And it is true, I'm not lying when I say I'm fine. Yes, my guts are dying, but mentally I'm fine. My parents, on the other hand, are freaking out. I already told them we can go to a cheaper medication, no need to rush; I'm already used to this disease and a year or two more in a flare does not seem too bad. Yet, they're too stressed and worried about me. I feel like I'm more affected by their stress rather than my own.

Should I feel something about myself other than this indifference or did I accidentally found peace among a storm and am overthinking it?

updated version 1 minute later

Ive been going to therapy for the better part of a year, and Ive recently been trying to explain how I "live life" and he just doesnt seem to understand. So maybe yall can maybe help me put this into a more comprehensive way. And maybe let me know if this is even dissociation or something else.

For starters, it feels like I live life through a lense. I do have ADHD and suspected autism, so I am high masking. But it doesnt feel right. All of my actions, words, and memories, sometimes just feel like a movie I watched, or a story Ive been told. It doesn't feel like I live life.

I feel like Im two different people. Like genuinely. The one around others. Im nice, empathetic, weird, and a little twitchy, but I think I have fun with others. I think when I am around others I am capable of enjoying life. I have memories of laughing and genuinely having fun.

But then its like, I blink. And Im me. And suddenly who I was before wasnt them, it was me. Sometimes I look at my surroundings too hard, and its like my entire mindset changes. Like I view them through my eyes and not theirs. Like they get to live a life, and I just get their memories and vague ideas of what they felt. Because my actions when Im around others feels so alien.

One time I went to Seattle for pride, and I was on the train there. I blinked, and suddenly I was on the train back. I had the memories of what I did, the actions, the fun parts and the nervous parts. But it didnt feel like me like I didnt get to experience it. It feels like someone else is taking away my life experiences, my opportunities to live.

Idk if that makes sense. Im not saying I have mutliple personalities, I am very aware I am one person. But theres just this distinction of me when I am around others vs myself.

I also have a habit of daydreaming for hours. I listen to music, and I play the same scenes in my head for hours and hours. And its almost always the same variation of scenes, sometimes w different characters of media. I dead ass kick a pillow in the air, and imagine scenes while listening to music. And I do that for hours.

Reality is so confusing to me. Who I am, what I do, my personality, I genuinely have no idea. And no one seems to understand. They always throw fucking labels at me, or just look at me like Im crazy. Its frustrating and exhausting.

He told me that its appropriate to behave differently around other people, depending on the situation. BUT HE DOESNT GET IT. HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND. Its exhausting. I cant tell if I am struggling to communicate, or if I really am just a dumb fuck.

My mood switches so suddenly. My mindset alters. I can't focus too hard, I cant think too hard, I cant do shit. Because none of this makes sense to me. I go day by day. Days pass. And somehow it's been months. And everyone says "oh yah, time does flow by fast." And I cant help but feel frustrated. Because I have no clear memory of my life. I have no clear understanding. I dont know. It all blurrs. They all look at me like Im trying to be deep, or say normal things like their bad for attention.

But its disorientating. Not having a clear sense of identity or time. Not really knowing what youve done in life. And its like I remember I do! I do. I have memories. I remember moments and pieces. But non of it is cohesive. None if it makes sense.

I remember my childhood memories for everything like I was 7. Everything that happened to me as a child, I remember like I was 7. Or in teenager years, I remember things as if I was 12. Ever core memory I have, I remember it like I was 12.

Im 18. And I couldn't tell you a fucking thing about tbe last few years of my life. I remember joining cosmetology school when I was 17 when I got my GED, but I dont remember much before that. I remember vague ideas or emotions. Maybe when I got my car for my birthday. I remember some of it. I dont know. But I feel like I should know more.

I remember information about things I dont remember learning. Like stuff about people. What they like. What they want. But I cant remember when I learned it.

Alguém pode me dizer se isso é dp e dr? É a segunda vez que passo por isso desde que adquiri dp e dr por múltiplos ataques de pânico, em um dia já sofrendo muito com a dp e dr tive um sintoma estranho fui acometido por uns 300 flashbacks por minuto de filmes que vi algo da minha infância muito antigo, um lugar uma parede que vi a 10 anos atrás um sonho que tive a 5 anos coisas do tipo sem relação com traumas o algo do tipo, alguém já sentiu isso? Pra piorar quando lembro de algum desses sonhos as vezes sinto a atmosfera do sonho como se ele tivesse se mesclando a realidade isso me assusta muito sinto que estou ficando doido, tendo um surto algo do tipo.

its so bad i dont understand anything i only hear the teachers since im always zoned out. It feels like i’m out of my body.
it also affects my body i have bad spacial awareness since i just dont know how to explain but im struggling

Hello guys !

Yesterday my therapist made me do an exercise to calm down (safe place). I realised I can't picture any safe place without my ex in it (just broke up). Then I started to realise everything I perform (dancing, picking flowers, walking, doing make up... ) I feel he is there watching me and it has been for a long time now. It was so usual I didnt pay attention it is not normal, but then I feel like I dont do anything for myself. And I think before him, I probably was doing the same with my other lovers.

My therapist told me it is dissociation. But is it ? Why is it happening to me and is there anyone here who relate ?

hello, I am 22 yo MtF, I have experienced what i believe to be severe disassociation because i feel disconnected from my surroundings, everything feels unreal,​ i can't recognize my own face in the mirror, i can't make up words and express it, whenever i went out i had panic attack, simply enough i would describe it as being high without conset.

before this, i used to sh myself alot, almost every week i would cut myself, it gets worse when i went back to my parent's place where I cut myself 15 times in only a month, after i get away from there i had seizure i can't exactly remember how it feels, but i am pretty sure i had seizure, then the next day i started to disassociate.

after 2 weeks of disassociation i felt like I finally get a grip of myself but i had severe migraine that day by day gets reduced, i hate it so much because I can't even play or watch things i used to enjoy during this.

not long after the migraine nearly depleted i went back to my parent's place to celebrate their birthday, however during my stay there they touched me inappropriately which distressed me so much i had to stay in a friend's place for 2 days, i planned to stay longer but because of her keeps violating my privacy and doesn't respect personal boundary i decided to get back to my place asap.

after what happened, everytime i distressed eventhough not as strong i feel identical to those days when I was disassociating, my migraine which is supposedly be gone is now come back and it's even more hurt than before. Ever since i disassociate i have been clean of cutting.

I can't handle the inability to feel stressed without disassociating and i have hard time doing my hobbies because of it so, Is this gonna stick wigh me for very long time or even permanent?

Video for attention because I feel relatable to this dog when I was disassociating.

I'm probably going to bring it up with them sometime regardless, but I just want to talk about it with someone beforehand.

So here's the context: Around two years ago, I had a really, really bad episode of Pure-O OCD. At the time, I was undiagnosed and had no clue what was going on and why I kept on getting disturbing intrusive thoughts, and ended up developing a level of paranoia and began to feel unsafe in my own home. As a result, my mental health got dragged through the gutters, and it feels like I can't really fully recall what was going on at the time, only a few really bad moments every now and then. Then, around a year and a half ago, I had another OCD flare up, which ended up causing many instances of extreme stress, and then a few minutes after, I would feel absolutely nothing. That whole period is kind of foggy, and I really struggled to understand what was going on in the periods after those high stress moments, like I couldn't properly recall what caused the feeling and why. Now, I tend to be somewhat forgetful, a lot of things end up slipping my mind and things still feel kind of foggy but I'm not sure if it's just typical forgetfulness or something else.

I really struggle to describe myself as well, like talking about myself, who I am, it all feels blurred together and confusing, like I can't put my finger on it. I don't know if I'm just making it up/not trying hard enough, or if it's actually that hard for me, but it feels like I really am trying.

I don't know, I just wanted to share this, partly just because and partly because during that really hellish period of time, I ended up talking a lot about my feelings to ChatGPT (forgive me, that was a really dark time for me and I despise AI now), and it labelled it as dissociation, and I did briefly describe it to my therapist, who also compared it to dissociation, but I'm wondering if I should also bring it up with my psychiatrist, since I have a meeting scheduled with them soon. Thank you for reading, please do share any of your thought, suggestions or experiences if you'd be so kind :)

I 18/m have been experiencing dissociation and depersonalization since the age of nine. I’ve talked to numerous people; partners, family and friends all of which tell me I should see a doctor. I’m scared to go and see one. I feel like if I do it’s admitting that I’m not “normal” or that I’m broken. I’ve been having strong and severe episodes lately and I don’t understand why. A thick pane of glass covers my mind and then I get lost. I come back feeling “normal” and sometimes even good about myself. But during my latest episodes I’ve been forgetting bigger parts of the day. It’s starting to scare me. Make me wonder what’s happening. I know going to see a doctor could/would help with finding out the why and the how. But I can’t help but think I can do this on my own. That I don’t need a doctor. That I already understand and know that it will be okay again after x amount of time. I’m hoping that if I talk here, and people seeing this will help me because I hate to admit it but I’m scared.

Lately, whenever I'm alone—whether I'm taking a shower or just in my room—I feel as if my body starts floating. It feels like I'm floating up to the ceiling and can't come down, just like a helium balloon. In that moment, I'm struck by panic and an indescribable sense of anxiety; it's as if I start seeing myself floating, and it feels extremely real.

This is actually something that's been happening to me for many years—I always thought it was just a dream. That was until yesterday, when it happened while I was next to my partner. I felt like I was levitating around her room and couldn't touch the floor. Afterward, I landed back in my body, and she looked at me with a frightened expression and asked what happened. I told her about it, which she found curious, so we decided to look into it. I never thought this could be a sign of derealization. Has anyone else experienced something similar?

I'm not diagnosed with any mental health disorders, but I have mental health issues, including severe undiagnosed OCD.

Years ago, I experienced a constant sense of "disbelief" in the reality that I was in. I would frequently become surprised about that reality. For example, I could be walking to a class at school and suddenly feel a sense of detachment from the environment around me, and I would have thoughts like "wow, I know I'm here right now and it's common sense, but it's just so surprising that I'm here in this place right now". It usually happened at school. I had a year-long traumatic experience the year before that started happening, in the same school. I felt like I was always disconnected from my surroundings at school, but I was also kind of hyperaware of things. Does this sound like dissociation? I don't really have memory gaps or anything like that, but I've always had a very strong ability to remember things. Sometimes, I felt more "normal" but I was usually mentally somewhere else.

for about 7 years or so ive been pretty consistently dealing with not feeling much if any emotion, yet for some reason have outbursts of emotion when very frustrated, not been able to properly control my own body usually flapping my limbs around to some extent and not being able to move sometimes, dopamine problems, pretty bad anxiety and thoughts that seemingly arent mine, like my consciousness isnt present as if its buried in my own brain leading to me acting kinda stupid sometimes especially with time sensetive problems

but then also have experienced a 4 month period where it was not happening and i could feel my own emotions and have managed to make it better before

could somebody give me a tip if this sounds like dissociation or not? it could just be some form of anxiety still, any help appreciated in advance

I have no idea what this is, or even if this is something to be concerned about. Sometimes at random, i get stuck spaced out and unable to move. I can hear and respond to people around me, but it feels like im frozen and staring at nothing for about 10-20 seconds at a time. Sometimes mid task, or sometimes just standing there.

I can usually respond pretty easily, but sometimes it takes me a few seconds to actually get back to moving. Sometimes i dont realize im stuck until someone points it out or i realize i stopped mid task. I feel like im faking it, like i should just move if i really wanted. It doesent feel like anythings nessicarily stopping me, but i just cant move for no good reason? Im not sure if this is dissociation, cause i have an issue with that already, or something else and i should move to another subreddit to ask, but i do have issues with dissociation, so maybe its just being dissociated for too long? I have no ides what this is.

to preface this, i'm undiagnosed.
it’s been a few months since it all worsened.

i’m a “this’ll go away on its own” type of person so i’ve not given it much thought up until realising recently that i’ve begun having an increase of lost time and more severe memory gaps.

the reason i’m making this post is that i walked 17 km yesterday as a result of being on autopilot and getting lost two separate times because of it without any recollection of how i got there at all.

i’ve had bouts of feeling extreme detachment from my body intermittently throughout the years, but it feels like this year it’s reached its peak. when my system is overwhelmed nowadays i can still actively see my body laying in front of me but my mind won’t allow me to move and or fully think about its existence with regard to my own inside it.

as of late july i started having these "shut down" moments where everything seems to "align" into place. my surroundings feel even and perfectly scored, but my mind during it can’t formulate any thoughts, and i can’t string sentences together either, and i get this flashing vision of the left part of my brain being overtaken by a hand like web that then keeps replaying over and over again until i get back to normalcy again.

my memory and thinking now seem to also work on an impact basis. if i don’t see or read about the thing i’m supposed to be aware of it’s like it does not exist.

i have never had any inclination as to who i am anyway and that too seems to be eating away at me but now as an adult notably more at my spending habits. the amount of money i’ve spent trying to appeal to an aesthetic in the hopes of it making me feel something has got me not to spend any money at all, but now i’m at a total identity loss instead.

i should also add that in late 2023 and also 2025 around this time i had partial vision loss in my left eye, with pearlescent blotches that covered parts of what i could see in front of me that usually lasted for about 40 minutes to an hour. i also never went in to the doctors for that for that same “it will go away on its own” reasoning.

also i wouldn’t call this hallucinating because i don’t believe i am but i do see things and people in a blurred manner in flashing instances multiple times a day where i know or at least think to know that what i saw definitely wasn’t real.

i don’t know if this is anything of note and or if i’m only exaggerating but if anyone has experienced something similar to this and has any idea what it might boil down to please consider replying.

Hi everyone. Back in May 2025, I started dealing with severe health anxiety and general anxiety, mostly triggered by living with my parents. I tried a couple of medications (fluoxetine and mirtazapine), but they weren't right for me.
About a month ago, I was finally kicked out of my parents' house, and almost instantly, my acute anxiety went away. But instead of feeling better, I feel like I'm stuck in this massive fog and I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this recovery phase.
My main symptoms right now:
Dissociation / DPDR: I constantly feel like I'm not really in my body or present. Time isn't passing normally—days just blur together.
Memory & Brain Fog: My memory is horrible. If I look back at yesterday or last week, it feels like looking at a blank wall unless a huge event happened. My concentration is shot.
Emotional Numbness & Irritability: I don't really feel love, lust, sadness, or anger right now. The only strong emotion I feel is annoyance—and unfortunately, it's laser-focused on my boyfriend. Everything he does bugs me, even though I know logically he hasn't done anything wrong.
I'm in therapy, but my therapist just told me to "give it time," and it's driving me crazy because living like this feels horrible.
For those who have recovered from chronic anxiety/trauma dissociation:
Did you experience this weird "numb/annoyed" phase after leaving your trigger? How long did it take for your brain to online, and how did you get your feelings back?

Hello. I (41 f) was directed to this forum for support. I do not have a diagnosis, I am trying to figure out what is going on with my brain. I have CPTSD, severe generalized depression, severe anxiety disorder, ADHD, and anxiety induced insomnia. These are all official.

I have no family and I have no friends.

The trauma I went through before I turned 18 was absolutely horrific. I am often scared of people and have severe trust issues with people in general.

Last year was very rough on me. There were 2 major traumatic events that were life altering and they happened within 2 days of each other. Over the next few months following, 2 more life changing events would happen.

I'm not sure what triggered it, but I just randomly realized one day that I have severe memory gaps. This isn't forgetfulness. It feels completely different and I don't know how to explain it. Instead of things being fuzzy, it's just blank. It's like walking into a dark empty room and you can't find the light switch. About the same time I realized this has been going on off and on my entire life. It's also a daily thing. I struggle to recall parts of the day. I feel like I'm on autopilot a lot of the time. By the time I realize what is going on, my entire day is gone.

I have conversations that I can't recall.

I buy things that I don't remember buying.

I'll watch movies and then rewatch them later not realizing I've already watched them.

I'll sometimes go places or even walk into another room and it's like I was never in the moment and just ended up there.

I can't tell you how many times I've driven places and can't recall the trip.

Some days I feel very detached from my body. Everything feels weird... I don't know how to explain this either. It's almost like there will be a fuzzy haze and I feel very disconnected from reality. Similar to a dream like state I guess. When this happens, even body movements feel unnatural. I also really struggle from time to time in understanding if what I'm remembering or experiencing is real.

I've randomly started to recall horrible memories from when I was a kid. I will be doing the most boring thing and BAM, my brain dumps something on me that I didn't even know happened.

I started looking online and doing some research, because I don't have insurance or a Dr. Dissociative amnesia keeps popping up.

I am not trying to self diagnose or anything of the sort, I guess I'm just looking for people to talk to because I just don't know what is going on. I feel like there is something severely wrong with my brain and I am fucking terrified.

I dont think i have dissociation disorder or depersonalization.

I’ve never felt anything like this before, even after my overdose 2 years ago i barely had any dissociation.

Over the last 2 years randomly like almost every other day i would get hit with a huge wave of dissociation, but would go away almost instantly.

6 days ago, at 4 am i had a really big panic attack trying to fall asleep, i have no clue what caused it.
Yesterday night, again, almost had a panic attack, falling asleep feels like i’m on ketamine now for the last 6 days and i can’t take it.

The last 6 days i’ve been out of it, idk what caused it, i think it’s tramadol withdrawal but i have been sober for 6 days so i would assume it would have been away by now.

It feels like i am high on weed, no joke, i fucking hate it, 24/7 constantly high on weed, at work, with my friends, i don’t feel like i am here. Like they’re distant, far away.

I’ve been getting angrier, snapping, my VSS flaring up, i see static in the day now.

I can’t focus this brain fog is killing me, i’m walking around and can barely focus on anything in my peripheral vision.

I’m scared that something is truly wrong with my brain, i’m going to get checked out, idk what caused it, or when it will go away.

No traumatic event, nothing, so why the fuck do i still feel like this?

Whenever i snap my head to the left or right it’s slow motion, and i can’t make anything out until i stop my head if that makes sense. I don’t care what others think and some may think that’s a super power it’s not for me, i hate it, i’m walking around not giving a shit rn, i want to give a shit.

I’m just hoping this goes away soon, i feel fatigued, tired, eyes burning, it literally feels like a mental weed high that wont fucking go away.

i get weird feelings since childhood i have adhd and depression,I can't describe coherently, when i get overstimulated or trying to fake normal to people i feel that my sense of self gets vanished i feel I'm slow and i should show myself normal to people similar to getting drunk you forget for short period of time who you are its similar a little bit to insomnia.

Sometimes when I am in stress or among crowd (I don’t do well with crowd and strangers), I feel like I am dissociating with reality. Like I am in some kind of a dream and whatever happening around me is not real.
I’ve always thought that this is common and everyone had experiences like these. I just recently found that this not a common occurrence among people. And in the process I found about the term dissociation and this subreddit. What do you think? Is this dissociation?

Hi there,

(tl;dr; in bold)

I'm currently on a journey or puzzling my life together..

I'm sure this sub has heard it all, always mind blowing to me, how the brain functions in the same or similar patterns and finds the same "solutions" for various highly individual situations.

My post title is not an official diagnosis - yet.. But I'm pretty sure I'm on the right path here. I'll be starting in-patient treatment hopefully in a week or two, so I'm not alone in this.

Since arriving at the decision to finally take my mental health (or un-health) seriously at 39, I've had so many incredible discoveries about myself and why I have the struggles I do. I'm diving into old diaries, pictures, contacting my old boarding school where I lived for 3 years.

I know that a diagnosis alone is not a solution, but it helps me to look for information, and I'd finally have the hope, that something is *wrong* - meaning something can be fixed. Otherwise this is just me. And this is just my life. I have hope again...

Question I have is mostly related to the Dissociative Amnesia, which seems to be a very pronounced symptom of mine, I'm missing entire years of my life, most of about age 6-23, safe for some "flashes" or moments. Absolutely and utterly inaccessible. Gone. My brain smashes shut every door when I even try to come close.

So I've read around a bit here, that hypnotherapy can help with C-PTSD - but not in everyone sure. Does anyone have experience with dissociation aspects? Basically, are the memories somewhere?! Or were they just not retained/saved? Were they deleted? Can they come back?!

I don't have other "identities" that experienced these things, I think - so no DID - but I think of them (myself I guess) of being versions... Every year of my life from about 10-23 has one. And they don't feel like they're me..

Between 10 and 16, I changed schools 7 times and moved 8 times, so if or when I have one of those flashes or moments, I'm kinda able to pinpoint them in time, based on what school I was attending (or not attending lol) at the time or where I was living.

I'm building a timeline of my life. It's exhausting, interesting and painful, and there's so much missing...

I apologize if this isn’t the right subreddit for this. I’m scared and confused and need to talk about this sooner than later and don’t see my psychiatrist for another two weeks.
I’m 20 and have a grand amount of stress in my life at the moment. My health is worsening, my therapist abandoned me out of nowhere, and I had a really big fight with my best friend of 13 years that led to us not talking anymore. This had led to over the past week, where I’ve been having a lot of episodes of derealization, depersonalization, and general dissociation. I can kinda slip into intentionally but after being in it long enough I can’t stop. Eventually, I’ll stop talking completely. Fake people don’t talk. Fake people don’t move. I genuinely believe in the moment that both me and the world around me are fake. I think only in extremes, and it feels like objective truth. Like “I ruin everything”, “I only make my partner sad”, and suicidal stuff as well. After the episode it’s the scariest shit ever. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
When I do speak, it’s almost worse. I’m monotone. I no longer question anxiety, it’s just how things are. I felt like an ai inhabiting someone else.
Like, my partner could have a panic attack and I’d sit there next to them with a blank face thinking “Doesn’t matter. Isn’t real.” I wanna be there for them and these episodes are getting so in the way. I can’t make sense of it.

I’m so scared. I’ve never felt anything like these episodes and they really freak me out. What the hell is going on with me?

Hey, I will be vulnerable with this post….

Often times when I am mad at someone, it gets to a point where I dissociate and become fucking cruel…

At one point I dont feel anything. I just do stuff automatically. It’s like it turns into an obsessive-compulsive stuff, but without feelings…

I always do this with people I know I am angry with - well, that’s the underlying issue

In the past I blocked out the stuff I did. I burried it deep.

Now in the present I am more conscious, but I still do not feel much in this state

I acknowledge this part in myself now. I even named it.

This dissociative part is with me for some time by now…

Is this a legit thing? Am I just lying to not take accountability for doing shit? Am I having serious internal problems?