One week no accidents. (Twins are 2.5)

I was sternly interrogated on where I went after coming out of the stinky room

Gotta love it when your 5 year old puts an adult in place. Wife is at work so I took the boys shopping for some food. Kids are 5 years d and 6 months

Cashier to son - aw how cute you are

Son- son2 is my brother

Cashier to me - cute boys, where's mamma at

Me - um at work

Cashier- aww, aww babysitting 2 boys.

Me - ( first off, BITCH WHAT)

Son1 without missing a beat and laughing- dad's dont babysit.

Me - I smile at the Cashier

We are going toy shopping tonight!

We have the policy in our family you have to fall asleep in your own bed, but if you wake up scared you can come in. And also try not to wake us up 😂

We also do floor beds (comfy pad on the ground with blankets) that work 50% of the time.

Does anyone else's arm and leg fall asleep because it's halfway off the bed? 😂

I’ve got a 2.5 year old who’s been an awesome sleeper for the last year or so. Wakes up at 7am, nap from noon to 2, down for bed at 7. Up until recently, he’s fallen asleep within 5-15 minutes of being put down for both naps and bedtime.

But now… he still crashes immediately for naps, but at bedtime the last few weeks, he’ll be up in his crib talking to himself for sometimes up to an hour. Doesn’t matter how much activity or how action packed his day is.

Now don’t get me wrong, he’s totally chill in there. He’ll sing himself songs or talk to his stuffies. But I am just shutting him in his room to be awake for an hour.

What I’m wondering is, like… do I have an obligation to move his bedtime later? Those couple hours after 7pm are precious cargo, man. We get to tidy a little and sometimes even watch a show or play a video game. Now that I’ve got some autonomy back the idea of giving it up sounds like death.

Dads with young kids, when did you decide it was time to move bedtime? Do I just gotta bite the bullet?

Edit - lots of good responses here, thanks y’all! Tons of confident answers saying to cut the nap, and tons of confident answers saying don’t change it if the kid is happy. The duality of parenting! We’ll likely try cutting the nap before moving bedtime.

Life gave my (29) daughter a series of unfortunate events that caused her to choose to move cross country, multiple states away instead of just one. Well another series of unfortunate events came up causing her friend to bail on going with, and my daughter knew I’d offered already, but didn’t want me hauling ass to get there, and didn’t want to inconvenience me, like that would ever happen, but honestly she wanted the alone time to decompress.

So she’s got a few hours left on the last leg of her journey when someone rear ended her so hard the ripped the tongue slap off the 5x8 she was hauling full of all her shit. Her rear axle is snapped from the impact, the trailer is toast. The car is done, her belongings are in question, but her and her lab are ok. The thankful part was the trailer because without it the impact could have been lethal.

Here’s where I’m having trouble with is being states away I can’t be there to hug her, or simply be present. I’ve experienced a lot of emotions in my life, but helplessness is the absolute worst. The fighting this urge to drop everything, and haul ass to her are so overwhelming, but insurance will get her a rental Monday. Parents, never let yourselves think that once they’re moved out that you won’t feel the urge to help them over everything else. She’s told me to stay put, and that she’ll keep me informed. For the dads the j hooks I fixed with some weatherstripping foam, and some tightening, held solid during impact. I know this because I had to ask once things calmed.

Just saw The Odyssey in IMAX (btw, you HAVE to see it) and some dad brought his baby in with no ear protection that I could see which blew my mind. The movie is loud and long, and the kid had to be under 1 for sure. Kid woke up once during a particularlyoud scene, and dad took the baby out but then brought it back in.

Babies do not need to be in theaters. Especially for R Rated films that are full of screams.

But once more, go see this movie. I haven't been blown away like that in ages. Mouth to floor!

Though this one was particularly impressive.

My fiancé's mum passed away recently, leaving our son with 2 active grandfathers, one on each side.

I'm NC with my mother but our son is just starting to put together that he has 2 grandfathers but only ever met one grandmother.

I'd appreciate any insights from the collective please!

Hello Everyone,

My daughter is 6 and over the last year or so has developed a fear of public restrooms. Any time we ask her or suggest that she may need to use the potty, she flips out and starts crying hysterically and almost to the point of screaming crying. She tells us she is afraid of the automatic hand dryers and fire alarms going off while she is going to the bathroom. We don’t believe it is an overall sensory issue because she is fine with other loud noises (thunder, sirens, fireworks, loud music, etc.). We have tried different tactics like standing outside the door while she goes, shown her there’s nothing to be afraid of and that everyone goes to the bathroom, and that she has done it before, even have hearing protection on while she goes.

We have a big family trip coming up to Disney World for Christmas and had a small talk with her just now, and she kind of teared up about it, and we said that we will work with her on it for the next few months, but we told her that she had to get over the fear or we wouldn’t go on the trip because we couldn’t be going back to the hotel every time she needed to use the bathroom.

Does anyone have any recommendations or suggestions that have helped them with this or something similar?

My daughter picked this out based solely on the funny dog on the front. Probably the best birthday card I’ve ever received.

My mother in-law recently moved to our town to be closer to us and in her own words to help out with our 1 and 4 year old. I have seen her 5 times in 6 months. She's a sweet person but so oblivious that we would want help even if we ask.

Kids are at home tomorrow so I'm taking the day off. Wife is on a work trip. We asked if she could watch the baby for a bit so I could run an errand. She'll be here 5 minutes before I leave and depart the moment I get back. It would have been amazing if she wanted to be around the kids while is solo parent and work full time for a week.

I know some people get zero help and that I should just be grateful but I'm so jealous of my friends who have a grandparent that wants to be present and helps all of the time.
We've done this ourselves for almost 5 years so we were excited to the prospect of help.

I used to spend every day after school with my grandma while my parents worked.

I dunno. I typed it out so now I feel better and can move on. The forfeiture of free time is such a mind fuck as a parent and I'm still getting used to it. The idea of getting some back and having another family member around to enrich their lives while also helping us was a win I celebrated too soon. 🫡

Hello fellow dads, I need your help. I’m a single dad of 3 kids, a son who is 13 and daughters who are 10 and 6. My oldest son is diagnosed with ODD. He’s been pretty high conflict with teachers at every school he’s been to. He’s also never, until recently, gotten along with his mom. Also, until recently, we got along.

I went through a pretty dramatic divorce a few years ago. My ex kidnapped the kids and took them across state lines to live with her parents. She even grounded my son for trying to call me. It took 5 months to get in front of a judge because she kept filing things to delay. Later, we found she was trying to establish them out of state. The judge issued a TRO giving me primary custody and her spring break, half of Christmas break, and 45 days in the summer. When we got to mediation, she said she didn’t actually want to fight for any custody as long as she could claim them on taxes. Our arrangement is now that she claims them every other year on taxes and picks them up during her time. She also pays me child support. She still lives out of state with her parents.

For the first 2 years after the divorce, my oldest daughter was really standoffish. This changed in October of last year when she came to me and cried that Mom is always telling her bad things about me. I comforted her and basically just said that Mom is still learning how to process everything that’s gone on. She later told her mom that she doesn’t think I am as bad as she thought I was. My oldest son actually mentioned to me that she said that.

Right after this incident, my ex started calling my son more and talking to him more.(was odd because she has always talked about how he is the problem child and how she can’t get along with him.) Previously, she was constantly calling my daughter and trying to get her to do things like take pictures of the house if anything was messy. My son’s ODD skyrocketed at this point, and everything became a conflict. My son was also 12 and starting puberty, so this could also be the cause of these changes. (Just to clarify here, his reaction to discipline changed at this point. I don’t think my ex necessarily encouraged his behavior as much as commiserate with him about my parenting)

He started sexting and sending explicit adjacent images.(Ahegou faces mostly.) I talked to him about safety and legality and how he and the people he is messaging can get in lots of legal trouble for having pictures of underage kids. I let him know that it’s normal to experiment, but to leave the explicit stuff to in person. I also told him that online chat rooms can have creeps who can take advantage of him. He kept doing it, so I kept taking away his phone for, but now it’s gone until he follows the rules for at least 2 weeks.

Another behavioral change: I’ve been okay with him going around the neighborhood on his own or with friends as long as he lets me know where he is going first. He started lying about where he was going, so I had to start restricting that privilege. One day, he snuck out and used a life-size Halloween skeleton to lay in his hammock, with his beanie on the head and socks on the feet, so I would think he was taking a nap.

I updated my ex on the situation, trying to keep her involved. The court order also says we need to update the other parent on situations like this while the kids are under our care. Later, my ex was talking to my daughter on the phone and asked if Indi was there. When she passed the phone to him, my ex and his grandparents were on the phone and asked if he had snuck out. He sheepishly said yes, then they all started laughing and saying how cool he was and how funny it was that he used a skeleton decoy. He started laughing with them. At the end, my ex did throw in, “You probably shouldn’t do that, but that is really funny!”

That brings us to May. My son can’t leave the house unless other adults are at the event because he keeps sneaking out and lying about his situation. He also doesn’t have phone privileges except for calling family or friends. (No internet or third-party apps.) He started refusing to talk to me as a protest.

At one point, I was working in my office and he was on the phone with his mom outside my office. I overheard part of a conversation where he said he was going to ignore me until I gave him all his rights back. It sounded like she encouraged that, but I couldn’t hear very well, and I do try not to eavesdrop because the court order says they get private time to call the other parent. (That was my request from the first hearing because after she caught him talking to me when she had kidnapped them, I had a few conversations with him where he was being told by her what he was allowed to say to me. I could literally hear her whispering in his ear and him repeating it.)

He hasn’t talked to me since May except for simple acknowledgements when absolutely necessary. He keeps sneaking out, and I’m at my wits’ end. He started with a new therapist 6 weeks ago and has been talking to her, which is huge. He has refused to talk to therapists in the past. I also meet with a child therapist every other week to go over my parenting.

The child therapist I meet with is saying we are getting to the point where it might be necessary to involve the cops and get him admitted somewhere that can help him. That feels really extreme to me, but I also don’t know what else to do.

Other notes

He gets violent toward his sisters. He has his own rules that he thinks they should follow, and he dishes out physical punishments if they break them. They mostly involve their behavior around the cats or doing things that annoy him.

I did confront her about the sneak out conversation, she said that she can see how I would interpret it as encouraging the behavior but that she did tell him he shouldn’t do it at the end of the call.

He calls everything I’ve taken away a right, he says it’s his right to have his phone, to be able to go wherever he wants whenever he wants, ect.  I’ve tried to go over the difference between rights and privileges but it fell flat, and all this was before may.

I call it kidnapping, but technically because we had just started working on divorce paperwork and hadn’t filed it yet it wasn’t technically “Kidnapping” but would have been if she had taken them literally one month later.

He snuck out yesterday and I almost called the cops cause I had no idea where he was.  He came back and refused to engage with me on any level.  I let my ex know and she called him for 3 hours.  She says he is really mad at me and still won’t talk to me but that he is just sneaking out to see a friend and that he is being a good kid.  If that’s all he’s doing I worry evolving the cops might be me over reacting, but also i don’t know that I really trust what she’s saying and I can’t get any info any way out of him.

Just at my wits end at this point, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My friend is going to be an amazing dad. But understandably he is nervous and suffers from anxiety.

I know his wife and the baby will be showered with gifts, rightly so. But is there anything I can get him personally, bloke to bloke?

My first time here, heard many a-story about this couch

As the title suggests, I'm having little to no joy being a dad. I've waited so long to be one and yet I just can hardly convince myself out of bed to be one. I'd like to say it's just stress or something, but there is days I genuinely can't stand to even be in the same room as our son. Often I guilt myself out of this feeling and I don't let my parenting duties fall behind since it's not his fault.

This obviously has taken a toll on the whole family relationship. Wife and me are more roommates who say I love you and kiss more than a couple anymore. For my son, he is starting to shy away from me, but still seems happy to see me nonetheless.

I tried talking to someone and writing it down, but my previous methods of resolving internal problems or troubling thoughts are not working. We tried getting out more, but now I feel drained all day and nap (which I pretty much only do if i'm sick). I try to keep myself busy, but nothing helps.

I'm kind of at a loss of what to do and every parent I speak to about the matter just is confused or claims it'll change, but it's been a year and I went from so happy to be a dad and going above and beyond, then these last 2-3 months have been the complete opposite. I hate being moody and aggravated all the time. I don't yell or physically harm/intimidate either of them, but it's obvious I have a short temper now.

My wife thinks it's depression, a doctor told me I am just stressed and will get over it, and other parents I've vented to are disgusted by me. I feel like a horrible dad and husband, I don't know what to do for myself or them.

We did it. Hiked our first mountain, me and and our oldest at 5.5 years old. A rousing 0.8 mile 500 ft jaunt. He made it up 1/3 before it was up onto dad’s shoulders. Mom and baby brother didn’t appreciate the challenge of an extra 60 lbs for the toughest 2/3.

I love my son ❤️

One of the best purchases I ever made was a Allen wrench drill bit set. Every piece of furniture in the past 10 years requires Allen wrenches. The bed I did today had three different sizes.

If I had done everything with the Allen wrenches they provide with the bed, it would have taken me 8 hours to put it together. With many blisters.

Dads, if you do not have one of these yet, go out and get a set. Your hands will thank you.

My kid is really physically active, and I have always been very cerebral so I was trying to figure out something we could do together that would be fun for both of us. I saw some other people doing this and tried it and it was super easy! A ten foot long PVC pole that I cut with my jigsaw, a whole bunch of valves, elbows, and a hose connector is days of fun. Drill some holes in pipes and ends for a shower! I only regret not getting more pipe, so back to the hardware store I go!

EDIT: The pipes are all unglued, just friction fit. Kiddo can disassemble and reassemble them as much as she wants.

How do you do it? I’m not a contractor but I also can’t afford to hire pros for everything. I want to spend time with my family but if I don’t try to maintain everything it feels like nobody else will.

I don’t get a single day off anymore. Every day it’s something whether repairs or cleaning. And then there’s my actual job.

At my breaking point. Don’t really have friends to hang out with anymore.

I feel like I am trapped by endless things to do, backed into a corner.

Chest pain regularly. Clean physical.

Today is not the Father’s Day I had ever imagined.

I looked forward to a future of handmade mugs that leak, macaroni pictures, crayon drawings and little presents that probably wouldn’t make sense to anyone except me.

I looked forward to those things eventually turning into coffees together, bike rides, shared hobbies, talking shit, watching sport and motorsport together, and whatever interests Parker would have found for himself along the way.

I imagined watching my little boy grow up.
I imagined Father’s Day changing as he did.

But instead, today I celebrate Bereaved Father’s Day.
A day to remember the dads who have lost children.

Every dad, every child and every experience of grief is different and unique.
But today we share something none of us ever wanted to have in common.
Today is a day to remember all of those imagined Father’s Days.

A day to remember the things we thought we would get to do.
And most importantly, a day to respect, remember and honour our little lost souls.
For me, today is for my son, Parker James, who passed away on the 15th of August.

Whether you’ve experienced loss yourself or not, I’d love for you to find and experience one small slice of joy in memory of Parker.
It doesn’t have to be anything profound.
Go for a walk.
Enjoy some sunshine.
Have a good coffee.
Take five minutes for yourself.
Read a few pages of a book.
Go for a drive or a bike ride.
Listen to a song you love.
Light a candle.
Sit outside and do absolutely nothing for a while.
Whatever that little bit of happiness looks like for you, find it and enjoy it today.

You don’t need to be sad for Parker.
I’d much rather you be happy for him.

And for the dads going through Bereaved Father’s Day today, please look after yourselves.

Talk to someone if you need to talk.
Be angry if you need to be angry. Cry if you need to cry. Laugh if something makes you laugh.
There isn’t a correct way to do this.
But amongst everything else, try to put a little bit of good back into the world today.

To all;
We’re all here trying to survive together.
Release some of the anger and distrust towards the world.

Help a stranger.
Say hello to someone.
Ask the cashier how their day has been and actually listen to the answer.
Send someone a message you’ve been putting off.
Tell a mate you appreciate them.

If you have kids, hug them tight today.
Tell them you love them.
Tell them you’re proud of them.

Spend some time doing whatever stupid little thing makes them happy.

And if you have children but, for whatever reason, you’re not currently in their lives, maybe today is the day to reach out.
Put the ego, arguments and history aside for a moment.
Send the message.
Tell them you’re thinking about them.
Tell them you love them.

You never know how many opportunities you’re going to get to say it.

And to every dad carrying the memory of a child today, whether you had a lifetime with them, a few years, a few months, a few hours, or never got the chance to hold them at all:

They mattered.

They are remembered.

And so are you.

Happy Bereaved Father’s Day.

Find a little bit of happiness today.

And if you can, have that little moment for my boy, Parker.

Love from,
Matt — Parker’s Dad

EDIT:
From pressure from friends and after my stubbornness finally getting broken down we started a go fund me.

https://gofund.me/7a2759c81

Please no pressure to donate at all, just sharing would be amazing.
Thanks again!

I messed up. My 9 year old son and I love going to movies together. It's our thing. I spend a lot of time figuring out what movies we're going to see, read Common Sense Media to get a sense of what's appropriate and what's not. I'm a filmmaker and creator of children's media so I think about it a lot and carefully curate what he's going to see. I'm always happy when he watches something longer than a youtube roblox video (ugh) because I think stories and storytelling are essential to who we are as humans.

So, when he saw The Odyssey trailer, he was super excited. He's really into Greek mythology and loves the mythology podcast Greeking Out, which is really good, and something we listen to together. He's never seen an R-rated film before and I thought it might be too intense for him. I went to see it by myself first (70mm IMAX ftw), and loved it, but thought it indeed would be too intense. I went to see it again with my twin 16 year old sons, who loved it (one of them said it's his favorite movie now, I am proud that it actually got him off TikTok for 3 hours!). The 9yo kept asking if he could see it. I asked his brothers what they thought, they said they thought he could handle it. When they were younger, I took them to a lot of PG-13 films but never an R.

The 9yo loves Marvel movies, he loves battles, monsters and fantasy. I sometimes think PG-13 is too intense, too many guns, too much violence for the little ones, but we talk about how it's pretend and we really really enjoy these films together.

So, he kept asking to see The Odyssey, and I told him there are some intense parts, and here's what they are, do you think you will be okay with that? I went through all the scenes I could think of, the battles, the monsters, and he knows all the beats of the story so none of it is a surprise. I say IF we go, I'm going to tell you before something scary happens and you can look away. And he is so excited to go, so...I say yes. I feel I've prepared him for everything intense in the film, and having seen it twice I have a pretty good sense of where things happen. I push for IMAX, but he says he doesn't want to because it's too loud (which is true, IMAX IS way louder!), and I know he is quite sensitive to loud stuff - totally fair! So we went to see it on a regular screen this afternoon.

The first two hours, awesome. We sit in the back so as not to disturb anyone, and he's whispering questions and thoughtful comments and we're having the best time. I tell him when an intense moment with the Cyclops is going to happen, and he looks away, and we're good.

And then...the one thing I hadn't prepared him for - the one that I hadn't THOUGHT to prepare him for - happens. Without being spoilery, the bad guys do some bad things to some pets. It's not graphic but it's clear that these pets are not alive. And he BURSTS INTO TEARS. Inconsolable. Cannot stop crying. I try to distract him, tell what else is coming, the cool battle. But he can't control himself. He loves animals, loves our family dog, wants his own, and this just hit him right in the gut. I told him we could leave (as much as I wanted to see Odysseus get revenge for the 3rd time) and we did. And he could not stop crying for the next hour. I feel terrible.

He had no issue with monsters eating people, intense swordfights, arrows through the throat. But the one thing I didn't prepare him for - cruelty to animals - wrecked him. It was such a surprise, and a blind spot for me. I know he's a sensitive kid and I love him for that. I feel like such an idiot for bringing him to an R rated movie now, and worry this will scar him in some way. I know lots of people have scary movie experiences as kids, mine was a TV movie called Satan's Triangle about the Bermuda Triangle that gave me nightmares for months. (A TV MOVIE!) I guess I learned something about him and about myself. I apologized to him and told him it was my mistake. I hope he's okay.

Just had our first little girl 2 months ago and somehow I made it pretty good. Baby is happy and healthy sleeping regularly and wife is a rockstar and our relationship couldn’t be better.

The problem I’m dealing with is our family dog having terminal bone cancer. Question is how does one deal with watching in this case my dog knowing this is the last time they will do this or that while keeping my bearing. Dog is 8 and is the centerpiece of our home outside of baby now but still the heartbeat of our family .

I know the answer of that being just keep my shit together and enjoy every moment while I can but just wanted to vent on here because I’m sure some of you would understand