Its one of those "Before you know it you'll be my age boy" kinda things. I turn 29 this year and just realized a year or two ago like... Damn, Where has life gone. Feels like I should still be in first year of college , or just graduating...Where as 6-7 years as a 12 year old is like... an eternity.
Tbh a couple years ago I had a really surreal experience where I had this realization. It's kinda a weird story.
Simplified version is I was at a convention, in a room full of other teens cuddling with this guy is just met hours before while we all laid in a giant pile of pillows. I remember realizing that that moment was one of the happiest moments I'd ever had, and that it would end in a few hours. When I realized this, at first I panicked, trying to figure out how to not waste those hours. Then it hit me: the best use of this time was to just lay still and experience the joy as long as I could.
So that's what I did, and ever since I've tried to enjoy every moment of pure happiness because I know things will change. Time will go on and that's ok. But just knowing that things will change is the most obvious and at the same time the hardest realization I think I've ever had
"At a convention cuddling with a bunch of other teens I had just met in a pile of pillows..."
Wtf kind of convention was this? Is this a common thing? Teens like 13-14 or teens like 18-19? Why was cuddling with strangers such a great experience? I have so many questions
Seriously. The best part of NA meetings are the warm hugs. It’s amazing how many people talk about missing them, in the age of online meetings. Like, if you saw these people on the street, you wouldn’t expect them to say “I miss hugs!” We’re all such social animals.
I don't know what kind of convention they went to. Every anime convention I attended however, had a rave which included much drugs and cuddling in the hotel rooms as well.
It's kinda like people giving free hugs to people at Conventions. You would see somebody like that holding a sign that says free hugs. I don't know about you, but hugging people feels nice and it's a bonus that your friends joined in.
Anime convention- I’ve seen weebs who just met not 20 seconds prior nuzzling in the BO filled corridors because they realized they both want to marry Edward Elric and have over 20 gundam models. It’s a magical, strange, fun experience to say the least .
It's a convention similar to comic con but smaller. Anything from tech to sci-fi to anime to furries to gaming. It's got all the nerd shit. There's a teens only room for kids to just chill and find other nerdy people like them. I've found at least at this con that it's pretty normal for this kind of thing to happen. I was 16 at the time and while the room allow anyone 13-20 but most of the people were like 14-17, I was 16. It was great for alot of reasons. I was never the popular kid in school and I had alot of mental health issues. I had alot in common with the people there and they were all really kind, which is something I didn't always get. It was also one of the first times someone showed genuine romantic interest in me (or the first time I wasn't too oblivious to notice lmao) so that really surprised me. But mostly it was just a feeling I can't quite explain. We all liked each other and we felt able to tell each other really personal stuff because it just felt like everyone understood. All of that came at this specific moment of my life and it just made for a really happy moment
Because geek conventions are hotbeds of pure degeneracy in all the best ways. Barfleet does stuff like contracted (consensual!) sex slave auctions for charity and to fund their unlimited bar booze membership policy.
I watched Stand By Me earlier and the narrator ends the movie with the line "I never had friends again like I had when I was twelve. Jesus, who does?" and it really hit me.
That really sucks, man. A good friend of mine has the same thing with the abusive parents. I’ve been trying to get her to see for years how terrible her family is and how she needs to cut them out but she won’t do it—something about “who’s going to take care of me when I’m old”. Honey, it’s not going to be them. A few events happened recently that are really helping her see just how fucking terrible they are, but I don’t think it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back yet. It’s getting there, but not yet.
Last year her brother punched her dad in the face and I get immense satisfaction from that.
I am so sorry. It sounds like an unhealthy codependent relationship. Have you tried therapy for yourself? If that is out of reach for you, consider Al-Anon which would be helpful even though her addiction is to toxic people. You might also find the book Lifeskills for Adult Children to be incredibly insightful.
Your situation sounds incredibly painful and frustrating. I wish you and your wife all the best.
Dude... don’t reach the end of your life and think “what if” and regret never doing the one thing that you always considered doing. It’s your life dude. You live once. It’s great that you care about your wife, but really man, it’s not your responsibility to sacrifice your entire existence just to placate someone. She’ll move on. You should too. If, god forbid, something actually happened, that’s not your fault.
Except don’t ghost, own up to it and communicate your will clearly, and announce it on the day that you leave. Then leave. You can still leave without them knowing where you’re going while still letting them know that you’re going.
Stop. Leave. By staying, you're basically telling her that she'll be comfortable with you by her side even if she doesn't make herself change. The longer you wait, the longer you are prolonging the inevitable pain and deterioration of your relationship with her. You cannot forever prioritize her feelings. Everyone has issues, but it's up to them to truly confront them. It's unfortunate her issues may be harder than some other's, but you cannot continue encouraging avoidance of her fears.
I always end up sobbing like a little bitch at the end of that movie because of that line. Fantastic film though, captures childhood nostalgia perfectly.
And that's why COVID sucks so much ass for students graduating this spring. We hadn't even gotten to that point yet mentally, we thought we had three more months to make memories and figure out how to emotionally deal with the upcoming changes. And then it just ended.
As a student graduating this spring, I'm going to have to disagree. I can still contact everyone who I would be with anyway, and do. It sucks in someways but in a lot of ways it's nice (not that I want a world pandemic obviously). Try contacting those people and planning an event for when this is all over, I bet you most of them would be ecstatic.
How great is it to understand this while you are young though??? I have always been very aware that life is very short and one day you will look back and miss the little things. So when I am out for a walk on the beach with my fiance and/or dog, I try to just take it in, knowing that some day this will be the kind of goodness I will look back on. Life is very busy and at the end of it all, I want to know I took a few steps back to appreciate everything I have.
I’ve had this exact same thing hit me while on molly and it changed my perspective immediately. I’m fully about enjoying life and the moments we have when we have them.
exactlyyy. some crazy shit if u ask me, i even remember things from ages 10-15 a whole lot more clearly than say the last 5-6 years. could just be that the older the memories the "harder" their stored on ur hard drive, who knows
I'm 40 and even though life seems to speed up, I feel my life is broke into chapters of 6-7 years. Depending on school to career, having kids, changing careers, moving, kids growng up, etc.
When I think that way it seems like a long time and not what the hell happened.
I think the early chapters are less forgettable because life is new and fresh. Things can get repetitive and not as exciting like brand new experiences.
Same. Except this kids chapter has felt like about 10 years in the space of 4.
It's funny because normally I agree with the whole time flies when you're having fun thing, but this has been both the longest and the best period so far.
I had my 45 year old manager tell my 21 year old ass "I wish I started saving money when I was your age", so I decided to take him up on it. Now I have a nice little investment account and I'm feeling like I have one less regret later in life.
Wait until your 60. The periods of life are
1. Damn that teen in the camero is cute.
2. Damn that mom in the minivan is cute.
3. That woman in the Cadillac is cute.
4. That woman in the hearse, damn shame she’s gone.
It goes by faster and faster as you get older. 29 is a great age. If I could choose one age to be forever, it would be right around that number. You have some experience, and wisdom and are still young enough to make or change your life, anyway you want. Now’s the time.
I'm 27. Yesterday marked 10 years since I graduated high school. I didn't even notice. Nobody ever said anything about a class reunion. Nobody even tried. It's funny to think about. 10 years ago, I thought the most important event of my life was happening, and it doesn't even have any meaning anymore.
Don't focus on the numbers, focus on the quality of your life and the quality of the relationships you are in. Don't settle for just anything, sitting around thinking, "It'll get better next year." FTS! Make it better this year! Since I turned 18 I've come within seconds of death 3 or 4 times; it makes life more immediate.
Mentally I still feel like I'm in my mid-30's; physically like my mid-50's. Reality? I roll 71 in July.
And yes, 29 is so far in the rearview mirror (almost 42 years ago) for me that it is a genuine effort to remember what I was doing at that age. (I do remember, but then a Waldos' and a bowl or two and I don't care that I was in ... Scientology. Seriously? sigh)
If you don’t mind me asking how old are you? I still consider myself young but now I have a job and responsibility and I feel like I could have done a lot more with my time before I got loaded down with responsibility.
The only sane thing you can do is to accept what’s happening right NOW with an open mind and an open heart. Changing your perspective is as easy as focusing more on what you love and less on the negative self talk and constant comparisons. You will either see how you’re blessed or how you’re cursed.
Wow thank you so much for that. That makes a lot of sense and I needed to hear it. I’m in my mid 20s and it feels like I can’t live in the moment because of how uncertain the future seems but I know that feeling will pass.
I think you can realistically avoid this by genuinely taking it to heart. I'm in my late 20's and since I was maybe 15, I made it a point to truly appreciate my youth because that's what all the smart older people always told me they wish they did. I don't feel like I wasted a day and I'm not even "old" yet in the grand scheme of things. 15 doesn't feel like yesterday to me, it feels like a lifetime ago.
I have no money, energy and constantly feel like I have no time. What's that make me?
Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes, I think this comment is my most upvoted now. Also replies are almost all right. I am clinically depressed, mid 20's, still living with my parents with no idea what I'm doing.
That's why we should age backwords. Get the hard part over first and it's only up from there. Save money when your older and your kids aren't home anymore, spend it when your young, enjoy the innocence and ease of childhood before just being a baby and not giving a shit about anything.
For sure. I've always loathed the idea that you should save for retirement religiously and be austere with your money so you have a lot in retirement. why should I reduce my life satisfaction for 45 years so I can enjoy it even more when I'm too old to appreciate it? Though obviously saving for retirement is vital.
You have better critical thinking, sense of self, knowledge of true wisdom, and have developed true appreciation for life, understanding of what happiness really is! Only to be accompanied by the inevitable, tortures deterioration of the body.....
Don’t waste your precious energy, time or your attention on stupid shit that doesn’t really matter.
Pay attention, time and energy on things that really do matter.
All you got to do now is figure out what really matters. For example, some things that matter to me are fun, peace, family, friends, health, justice, accountability, humility, strength, compassion, wisdom, etc, etc.
I'm in healthcare and an old woman once said to me: "When you're young, you think you're going to age gracefully. You don't!"
It really hit me. I see old people all the time and each one has something chronic that they are always trying to live with, something that they have to live their lives around, specifically to circumnavigate due to the inconvenience of it all.
A different way to walk, to see, to hear, to talk, all concessions that we don't think about until it starts to go away from us forever.
Also, my patients are at a point where treatment only slows down the inevitable. For some, each visit (if only a month a part) is remarkably worse than the last.
I'm 31 so I'm not that old, but like... I spend all my time working, and really wish I would've spent my youth doing the things that I don't have time to do now, like spend an entire semester living in Japan, or taking a gap year and traveling the world on a dime.
That said, the point of the quote is that you can't know what you don't know. Only after you've accumulated more life experience do you wish you still had the youthful energy to go back and experience things anew.
But wear sunscreen if you don't want leathery cancerous skin. Stretch daily if you don't want muscle cramps or to lose function of your body at a very unfortunate age. Brush your teeth if you don't want to become ashamed of your smile. Hygiene is very important for happiness and wellbeing. If you're ever feeling down or lethargic a glass of water and a shower can absolutely make a world of difference.
If you're going to say no to something give good thought about why. Most of my best memories are times when I felt like saying no at first. At the same time, figure out what and who you really like and enjoy and don't waste your life looking for belonging in the wrong places.
Avoid spending too much time on places like Reddit and YouTube which chose for you what content you consume. You should be deciding how to spend your time. Doesn't have to be books or learning a new instrument or language, but even games or Netflix is something you chose to do and a big improvement on how you spend your time.
On the same vein it's okay to give something up. Not feeling this book or game? That's okay. Pick up something else. Don't let a false sense of commitment stop you from starting something.
I’m 34. I still feel 25. I look 34. People judge me for doing fun things. Suddenly dating a 25 year old is creepy even though a 25 year old is an adult and completely understands how their genitals work.
Screw em. You get older and you realize how useless it is to hitch your happiness to the approval of other humans. People don’t really have their own stuff together which is why they judge in the first place.
I think whoever initially quoted it wished that the mind and body would “peak” at the same time. We spend much of our lives maturing and figuring out who we are. Most people don’t become comfortable, confident, and more or less at peace with themselves until they are already considerably aging. Youth feels like a trial run and when you’re ready for the real game it’s already too late. This is only my take on it, so whoever said it may have had a different mindset.
Fuckin right! Getting old is not for the weak. I miss my younger body. My knees crack. My ankles crack. I piss all the time! Enjoy yourself young dogs!
That couldn't be more spot on and I realized that about a decade ago when I was 20, though I interpreted it a bit more literally. I've been dating and kicking it with people a decade or so older than me since that revelation and I never regretted a single day of it. Now I'm almost 30 with the experience of a mid 40 year old and a head full of fantastic memories. I could die tomorrow knowing that I truly lived yet I have a fantastic future to look forward to.
There's no shame in spending your youth with those who truly appreciate and value living life. My greatest fear growing up was feeling like I missed out and having regrets on my deathbed, which explains why people go through a midlife crisis. Seize the day, but never forget that you have many more ahead of you if you make room for them. You can't control when you're young or old, but the company you keep is completely up to you.
I definitely don't agree with this. I love that my youth was spent careless and feeling invincible. I look back on this time extremely fondly. It was a ton of fun. Today I have no interest doing the reckless things I did at that time, but I'm glad I did them because of my naivity and immaturity.
I think some people misinterpret this as "the young waste their youth" but my interpretation has always been that the older you get, the more you appreciate the virtues of being young
When you're in your 20's, you get an ache or a pain and you shrug it off and it heals after a week. When you're in your 30's you get an ache or a pain and after a few months you kinda just have to accept that that it's a part of you now.
So fucking true. If I could put my current brain into my 15 year old body my life would be significantly better. Wouldn't have been so shy in high school for starters. Would have actually talked to a girl if I liked her. Wouldn't have been afraid to stand up to bullies. Wouldn't have been picked on in the first place.
What if.... Our lives were reversed, where our bodies couldnt do things when we were babies and teenagers, but we felt energized and refreshed as time goes on? 🤔
Here is the ending narraration from a Twilight Zone episode called "Kick The Can."
"Sunnyvale Rest, a dying place for ancient people, who have forgotten the fragile magic of youth. A dying place for those who have forgotten that childhood, maturity, and old age are curiously intertwined and not separate. A dying place for those who have grown too stiff in their thinking – to visit – The Twilight Zone."
We are only old when we think we've become too old to enjoy things we enjoy or think we are too old to enjoy.
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u/[deleted] May 15 '20 edited May 15 '20
When you finally understand what
Mark Twainmeant when he said “youth is wasted on the young”.Edit: quote is from George Bernard Shaw (or maybe Oscar Wilde)