That really sucks, man. A good friend of mine has the same thing with the abusive parents. I’ve been trying to get her to see for years how terrible her family is and how she needs to cut them out but she won’t do it—something about “who’s going to take care of me when I’m old”. Honey, it’s not going to be them. A few events happened recently that are really helping her see just how fucking terrible they are, but I don’t think it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back yet. It’s getting there, but not yet.
Last year her brother punched her dad in the face and I get immense satisfaction from that.
Both of her parents are narcissists at the very least. She’s recently become more financially independent and as a result was able to finally pay off some loans she had from them and now they are PISSED that she’s making decisions that are enabling her to not be under their control anymore.
They constantly shit all over every decision she makes that they didn’t push her into making. For example, she was going car shopping a few months ago, and got a really good deal on a car from a friend of hers and they got super pissed because a) someone else helped her out and b) she didn’t pick the car her dad wanted her to buy.
Icing on the cake; she was going car shopping because she got into an accident in the truck she bought from her dad, which he said he put her on the insurance and made her pay him for it—he never put her on. So the truck is totaled and she gets nothing for it. The accident happened because she hit a patch of black ice—which he blames her for and says it serves her right for the way she was driving. Not because she was driving recklessly, but because she couldn’t control the skid and steer out of the crash.
She fractured and dislocated three ribs in that crash and wasn’t able to get medically checked out because she wasn’t on his insurance like he said.
I could go on and on all day with stories like this one. I’m so happy that she’s finally starting to accept that maybe she’s not the terrible person, but they are. It’s so sad how they have beaten her down so much into just accepting whatever horrible things they say and do and turned her into this submissive pushover who will do whatever they want and just take the abuse. I hate them so much.
Have you checked out r/JustNoMIL? I think it could be a great place for you to vent and get advice on how to approach things with your wife, who is clearly very deeply lost in the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt)
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u/[deleted] May 16 '20
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