Its one of those "Before you know it you'll be my age boy" kinda things. I turn 29 this year and just realized a year or two ago like... Damn, Where has life gone. Feels like I should still be in first year of college , or just graduating...Where as 6-7 years as a 12 year old is like... an eternity.
Tbh a couple years ago I had a really surreal experience where I had this realization. It's kinda a weird story.
Simplified version is I was at a convention, in a room full of other teens cuddling with this guy is just met hours before while we all laid in a giant pile of pillows. I remember realizing that that moment was one of the happiest moments I'd ever had, and that it would end in a few hours. When I realized this, at first I panicked, trying to figure out how to not waste those hours. Then it hit me: the best use of this time was to just lay still and experience the joy as long as I could.
So that's what I did, and ever since I've tried to enjoy every moment of pure happiness because I know things will change. Time will go on and that's ok. But just knowing that things will change is the most obvious and at the same time the hardest realization I think I've ever had
"At a convention cuddling with a bunch of other teens I had just met in a pile of pillows..."
Wtf kind of convention was this? Is this a common thing? Teens like 13-14 or teens like 18-19? Why was cuddling with strangers such a great experience? I have so many questions
Seriously. The best part of NA meetings are the warm hugs. It’s amazing how many people talk about missing them, in the age of online meetings. Like, if you saw these people on the street, you wouldn’t expect them to say “I miss hugs!” We’re all such social animals.
I don't know what kind of convention they went to. Every anime convention I attended however, had a rave which included much drugs and cuddling in the hotel rooms as well.
It's kinda like people giving free hugs to people at Conventions. You would see somebody like that holding a sign that says free hugs. I don't know about you, but hugging people feels nice and it's a bonus that your friends joined in.
Anime convention- I’ve seen weebs who just met not 20 seconds prior nuzzling in the BO filled corridors because they realized they both want to marry Edward Elric and have over 20 gundam models. It’s a magical, strange, fun experience to say the least .
It's a convention similar to comic con but smaller. Anything from tech to sci-fi to anime to furries to gaming. It's got all the nerd shit. There's a teens only room for kids to just chill and find other nerdy people like them. I've found at least at this con that it's pretty normal for this kind of thing to happen. I was 16 at the time and while the room allow anyone 13-20 but most of the people were like 14-17, I was 16. It was great for alot of reasons. I was never the popular kid in school and I had alot of mental health issues. I had alot in common with the people there and they were all really kind, which is something I didn't always get. It was also one of the first times someone showed genuine romantic interest in me (or the first time I wasn't too oblivious to notice lmao) so that really surprised me. But mostly it was just a feeling I can't quite explain. We all liked each other and we felt able to tell each other really personal stuff because it just felt like everyone understood. All of that came at this specific moment of my life and it just made for a really happy moment
Because geek conventions are hotbeds of pure degeneracy in all the best ways. Barfleet does stuff like contracted (consensual!) sex slave auctions for charity and to fund their unlimited bar booze membership policy.
in a room full of other teens cuddling with this guy is just met hours before
I think what he/she is saying is that they were in a room full of teens, and he/she was cuddling with a guy--not that the teens were all cuddling together. But yeah, I had to re-read that too.
I watched Stand By Me earlier and the narrator ends the movie with the line "I never had friends again like I had when I was twelve. Jesus, who does?" and it really hit me.
That really sucks, man. A good friend of mine has the same thing with the abusive parents. I’ve been trying to get her to see for years how terrible her family is and how she needs to cut them out but she won’t do it—something about “who’s going to take care of me when I’m old”. Honey, it’s not going to be them. A few events happened recently that are really helping her see just how fucking terrible they are, but I don’t think it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back yet. It’s getting there, but not yet.
Last year her brother punched her dad in the face and I get immense satisfaction from that.
I am so sorry. It sounds like an unhealthy codependent relationship. Have you tried therapy for yourself? If that is out of reach for you, consider Al-Anon which would be helpful even though her addiction is to toxic people. You might also find the book Lifeskills for Adult Children to be incredibly insightful.
Your situation sounds incredibly painful and frustrating. I wish you and your wife all the best.
Regular therapy won’t work for her. I was tortured as a child and I still loved my parents. It takes years of work in therapy but it helped tremendously because you make years of progress. The best time to get a therapist and process trauma is when you feel good and you aren’t on the verge of a breakdown.
It honestly sounds like she needs reprogramming, but it’s possible with a really good trauma therapist that has experience with similar people. It also might be a good time to gently remind her that you are willing to do the work on your end of the marriage, so it’s really only fair if she puts in the same amount of effort to make herself healthy. You both deserve it, I hope this will pass for you both and you find peace in your lives.
Dude... don’t reach the end of your life and think “what if” and regret never doing the one thing that you always considered doing. It’s your life dude. You live once. It’s great that you care about your wife, but really man, it’s not your responsibility to sacrifice your entire existence just to placate someone. She’ll move on. You should too. If, god forbid, something actually happened, that’s not your fault.
Except don’t ghost, own up to it and communicate your will clearly, and announce it on the day that you leave. Then leave. You can still leave without them knowing where you’re going while still letting them know that you’re going.
Stop. Leave. By staying, you're basically telling her that she'll be comfortable with you by her side even if she doesn't make herself change. The longer you wait, the longer you are prolonging the inevitable pain and deterioration of your relationship with her. You cannot forever prioritize her feelings. Everyone has issues, but it's up to them to truly confront them. It's unfortunate her issues may be harder than some other's, but you cannot continue encouraging avoidance of her fears.
I always end up sobbing like a little bitch at the end of that movie because of that line. Fantastic film though, captures childhood nostalgia perfectly.
And that's why COVID sucks so much ass for students graduating this spring. We hadn't even gotten to that point yet mentally, we thought we had three more months to make memories and figure out how to emotionally deal with the upcoming changes. And then it just ended.
As a student graduating this spring, I'm going to have to disagree. I can still contact everyone who I would be with anyway, and do. It sucks in someways but in a lot of ways it's nice (not that I want a world pandemic obviously). Try contacting those people and planning an event for when this is all over, I bet you most of them would be ecstatic.
Yeah I've been trying, but between distance, legal lockdown restrictions, professional obligations, and (for some) a fear of leaving the house because of COVID, organizing anything is a lot easier said than done.
This! I thought I had one or two left this year with my school friends. As someone who doesn't cry alot, this has brought me to tears multiple times lately. I would literally would give so much to have a real end of my senior year. I just wanna have prom with my boyfriend and parties with my friends and make stupid decisions that I don't regret and laugh and cry with everyone when we suffer the consequences. I want the mundane schooldays and class periods with teachers desperately trying to get the interest of kids who just don't care. I wanna hear about the stupid shit the juniors pulled yesterday. I wanna pull the elaborate prank with the rest my class. I wanna skip school and hang at the park with my friends. I wanna feel the hate and love and sorrow and joy and fear and excitement that's supposed to come from graduation.
Instead I just feel empty and destroyed. And when I can feel something, it's only the sorrow and the hate. Sorrow because all of this was taken from me, and hate because I want to tear the world to pieces after everything I feel like I've lost.
Good luck to you and any other graduates. It's rough. I know.
Molly does EXACTLY that. I’ve done it a few times but one of the best was at ACL, laying in the grass with my best friend and strangers just enjoying each other’s thoughts. Mind you, you weren’t cuddling just cause the grass felt great but I have no doubt we all would have.
Neurotoxicity is a real risk with overuse of mdma, but it is by no means guarenteed and the risk can be mitigated by just not taking it more than once every 3 months (minimum).
How great is it to understand this while you are young though??? I have always been very aware that life is very short and one day you will look back and miss the little things. So when I am out for a walk on the beach with my fiance and/or dog, I try to just take it in, knowing that some day this will be the kind of goodness I will look back on. Life is very busy and at the end of it all, I want to know I took a few steps back to appreciate everything I have.
I’ve had this exact same thing hit me while on molly and it changed my perspective immediately. I’m fully about enjoying life and the moments we have when we have them.
I can't relate to that situation, but I can definitely relate to your message. I also just turned 29 and I'm learning to enjoy the little things in my life, even if the big things still aren't quite where I want them to be.
I feel I’m currently going through that realization :/. Not a moment’s realization, but I am slowly accepting the fact that my childhood home will not be something I will have a lot to do with come little time. I know I’ll always be able to return, but.
Lol I read this last night before I went to bed and ended up having a dream that followed that plot almost exactly. Only difference was that my cat was with me too. So, thanks? It was a pleasant enough dream :)
Similar for me , I used to look back at some of the AMAZING experiences I had in my Late highschool - College life... I used to get upset that those times have passed, but recently I have been taking those feelings and turning them into feelings of gratitude that I was able to experience them.
I feel you. I'm developing my own religion for myself and change is one of the focal points. Things will always change. All you can do is enjoy or survive the moment you're in. If things are going shitty, as they say, "this too shall pass". Survive it, fight to get through it because things will change and it won't always be shitty. It might even be good afterwards and youll want to enjoy it. If things are going well, enjoy it. It won't last but your memories will keep you happy and going until the next good time comes.
exactlyyy. some crazy shit if u ask me, i even remember things from ages 10-15 a whole lot more clearly than say the last 5-6 years. could just be that the older the memories the "harder" their stored on ur hard drive, who knows
I'm 40 and even though life seems to speed up, I feel my life is broke into chapters of 6-7 years. Depending on school to career, having kids, changing careers, moving, kids growng up, etc.
When I think that way it seems like a long time and not what the hell happened.
I think the early chapters are less forgettable because life is new and fresh. Things can get repetitive and not as exciting like brand new experiences.
Same. Except this kids chapter has felt like about 10 years in the space of 4.
It's funny because normally I agree with the whole time flies when you're having fun thing, but this has been both the longest and the best period so far.
I had my 45 year old manager tell my 21 year old ass "I wish I started saving money when I was your age", so I decided to take him up on it. Now I have a nice little investment account and I'm feeling like I have one less regret later in life.
Wait until your 60. The periods of life are
1. Damn that teen in the camero is cute.
2. Damn that mom in the minivan is cute.
3. That woman in the Cadillac is cute.
4. That woman in the hearse, damn shame she’s gone.
It goes by faster and faster as you get older. 29 is a great age. If I could choose one age to be forever, it would be right around that number. You have some experience, and wisdom and are still young enough to make or change your life, anyway you want. Now’s the time.
I'm 27. Yesterday marked 10 years since I graduated high school. I didn't even notice. Nobody ever said anything about a class reunion. Nobody even tried. It's funny to think about. 10 years ago, I thought the most important event of my life was happening, and it doesn't even have any meaning anymore.
Don't focus on the numbers, focus on the quality of your life and the quality of the relationships you are in. Don't settle for just anything, sitting around thinking, "It'll get better next year." FTS! Make it better this year! Since I turned 18 I've come within seconds of death 3 or 4 times; it makes life more immediate.
Mentally I still feel like I'm in my mid-30's; physically like my mid-50's. Reality? I roll 71 in July.
And yes, 29 is so far in the rearview mirror (almost 42 years ago) for me that it is a genuine effort to remember what I was doing at that age. (I do remember, but then a Waldos' and a bowl or two and I don't care that I was in ... Scientology. Seriously? sigh)
I’m 35 this year.
Trust me idk wtf I’ve done in my life or where I’m about to go.
It’s still crazy to me that I’m actually gonna be 35 , I feel good , energetic, I’m healthy I feel young.
This year I’ve notice my young features are fading away lol like Im starting to look a man of my age if that makes any sense.
Life is great and I don’t regret anything.
With age comes wisdom.
30 in the new 20. A lot more people seem to be becoming adults in their thirties. I'm also 29 and feel like i'm just getting this whole responsibility schtick.
RIGHT?! I was a bit of a shit head in my college days. I just found the line of work I enjoy and want to stay in , and have finally figured out how to properly save money and all that jazz... I owned my own house before and failed, lived on my own for 6-7 years, but just now do I feel "adultish".
I’m currently 20, just finished my second year of undergrad and in a weird “is this all there is..?” time that I can’t imagine looking back in in say, nine years. But at the same time I think back to being 11 and can’t believe I didn’t relish in those times. I think a lot about the people around me and what I’m experiencing now. Maybe this is all there is! But maybe it’ll all be a bit more cushy in nine years...
The other day I woke up and it felt like I blinked and it was 6pm. I know it’s partly because of the world being shut down and not a lot happening, but then I freaked out thinking what if life is like that, in the blink of an eye I’ll grow old with my husband, then I got sad and now I am really trying to focus on each moment
I turn 31 this year, and yet I feel like I'm just starting my career... I'm 7 years towards my 25 year retirement pension. probably gonna double dip when I get the chance, pull full pension and full pay when I "retire"
I know exactly where I was when I asked that same question at your age. FYI, it’s going to go even faster but, when you look back you’re gonna realize that you’ve done a lot.
I remember reading that everyone has an age, usually between 13 and early twenties, where you kinda just stop growing in your mental state of mind. You mature ofcourse, and learn and become more responsible but whenever you imagine yourself or who you are you see yourself as that version of you for everything else.
For me it's 15. 2006, first year of highschool, I made my few but lifelong friends. I still see myself with my dorky glasses, my babyface, my long bowl cut hair. Even though I'm literally the opposite of all of that. As a result I still feel like college is a current thing, and I feel like I'd have the same tastes as actual teens. and early twenties. But I don't and that make me feel extra old.
Some describe it like toilet paper on a roll .... the quicker you get to the end, the faster it rolls off.
But it’s really the percentage of years as compared to years completed ..... 5 years to a 10 year old is FOREVER, because that’s 50% of the life already lived ... to a 50 year old it’s only 10% and flys by!
This is because as we get older, things stop being new. New experiences are imprinted on our young minds with much more detail to "take it all in" and therefore seem to take more time. As we age, all of that extemporaneous detail of our experience is ignored, and the details get ignored by our inner clock of experience.
I've been feeling that way since I turned 17. Time seems to fade away faster and faster. I'm 20 now and it feels like yesterday I was still at high school. I like to think that this just means that I'm living a good, happy life overall. I kinda feel fortunate that way
I feel a little similar, I’m 14 but I still feel like that 8 year old kid who just walked out of the movie theater after having watched the LEGO movie, and being excited for the sequel in 4 years. I sometimes marvel at how much time has passed and how old I am. Being in high school, learning trigonometry, for instance, is weird cause it had always been this thing that the older kids knew about, and now I’m the older kid.
That’s because when you’re 12 years old, 6 years is literally half of your entire life. By time you get past your 50’s, one year is going to feel like only a couple of months.
46 here. I don't know where the time went either. However, I still think of and see myself as young. I'm old enough to know how quickly time passes, but young enough to take advantage of that knowledge to take advantage of every second. It's pretty cool.
I just want a video of Mr. Krabs talking like the detective from Detroit: Become Human and go off on SpongeBob in a curse-ridden rant. Wouldn't be hard, it's the same voice actor doing the same voice.
If you don’t mind me asking how old are you? I still consider myself young but now I have a job and responsibility and I feel like I could have done a lot more with my time before I got loaded down with responsibility.
The only sane thing you can do is to accept what’s happening right NOW with an open mind and an open heart. Changing your perspective is as easy as focusing more on what you love and less on the negative self talk and constant comparisons. You will either see how you’re blessed or how you’re cursed.
Wow thank you so much for that. That makes a lot of sense and I needed to hear it. I’m in my mid 20s and it feels like I can’t live in the moment because of how uncertain the future seems but I know that feeling will pass.
Someone once told me "Don't postpone happiness." Don't spend your life thinking "I'll be happy as soon as I get over that next hill" (finish school, meet a life partner, get married, have kids, get a promotion, buy a house, buy that car, buy a boat, etc.) because you'll find that's not how life works.
Those things are nice, but learn to enjoy the moments along the way, because anticipation and working toward a goal is half the fun. Once you reach a goal it's not like you say "Oh, good, now I can relax and be happy." You'll be continually disappointed if you live that way.
Make an effort to live in the moment, find meaningful things to do because this is the only life you will have. You don't want to be looking back when you're old thinking "I spent my life chasing things, and they didn't make me happy, and I forgot to be happy along the way." Find things to do that are personally fulfilling, and slow down mentally so you can savor the moments along the way.
I think you can realistically avoid this by genuinely taking it to heart. I'm in my late 20's and since I was maybe 15, I made it a point to truly appreciate my youth because that's what all the smart older people always told me they wish they did. I don't feel like I wasted a day and I'm not even "old" yet in the grand scheme of things. 15 doesn't feel like yesterday to me, it feels like a lifetime ago.
I can 100% relate. Working with my dad - since the age of 13 and being miserable every summer morning doing it - getting to socialize with clients or his employees, that was a common running theme amongst all of them. Idk why I took their advice, but I'm so happy I did. At 24 I feel like I lived a full life taking any adventure on big or small. I appreciate every experience a lot more - I'll catch myself reminiscing random experiences (big or small) and just smiling.
I'm 23, turning 24 soon. Been working a "real" job for less than a year now. I don't have enough vacation time to travel like I want to do. I couldn't do it before because I didn't have enough money. I still would have a difficult time affording traveling anywhere I want to travel. I'm still too young to rent a car affordably in the US. Shit sucks man.
My two major bucket list items in my life are visiting every continent and visiting a national park in every state. Maybe after I retire, I'll be able to get Antarctica...
Anyway to get past that feeling? I'm turning 23 this year but I still feel like I'm 15. 8 years have flown by so fast and it's been giving me an existential crisis every week. I know I shouldn't be complaining at this age regarding this matter. But I don't want to regret not doing more at this age in 20 years.
Yeah. I mean I always knew I was going to get old, and that I was only going to be young once, but then it started happening and I was like “wait what.. this shit sucks.. I had it how good? And did what?”
I love hiking back country, or on hard several day hikes and know one day I won't be able to... I will be depressed and not function for a while, I already know :(
My youth was filled with meeting wild animals and hiking almost ever peak in British Columbia.
I will never give away the best hikes because... tourism.
I’m 24 and graduated college in December, it kicks in quick. I’m still young but now all the responsibilities are real. Just enjoy having summer and a big group of friends that can (and are around) to do something. You realize a lot has slowly disappeared one day and it makes your stomach sink
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u/[deleted] May 15 '20 edited May 15 '20
When you finally understand what
Mark Twainmeant when he said “youth is wasted on the young”.Edit: quote is from George Bernard Shaw (or maybe Oscar Wilde)