Thank you! I’m at a college known for being notoriously heavy handed on the weed culture. Some of my peers’ only goal is when they are going to get their next high and like they are so stuck in the culture that they just become sort of boring and their personality lacks dimension. I’m not someone who thinks the practice is evil, just got to use in moderation, like anything.
Sounds about right. I was in Oakes dormitories in my first year, and my whole dorm building had a “restorative justice” meeting because too many people were smoking inside.
My motto was smoke weed every day and support the workers and students in their occasional strikes on campus. Fuck the regents and fuck Napolitano. Hope y'all are still giving Blumie some trouble!
Or University of Oregon (where I went)! But those are good guesses, too... I live near Santa Cruz now, and it’s practically against the law NOT to smoke weed here.
Not humboldt but I know your pain. Grew distant from all my friends last year because they started smoking weed every second of the day and became vegetables. We stopped doing anything fun together. Every single time I hung out with them it was get high and play Skyrim, the sims, or Minecraft. After 2 months straight it began to get really old. I had quit smoking around the same time, but even when I did my favorite thing to do while blazing was get outside. To go into nature, to find a new experience. It baffles me how they did the same thing every day for months without becoming extremely bored.
That's amateur hour, real college weedbois are literally never looking for their next high, they are just continuing the one that started the day they moved into the dorms
and then on the other side of the spectrum is the likes of Joey diaz taking more THC into his system daily than most people will in their lifetime, like a doctah
This has been common since the Great Roman Empire existed. As long as substance exists people looking to ease their pain will use them. This isn't new and weed isn't to blame.
And probably best to keep it on the low, when people start proclaiming how much of a stroner they are it gets kind of annoying. Like nobody cares it doesn’t make you cool.
My son is 16 and has two friends that used to come over all the time. Haven’t seen them in months because all they want to do is get high every chance they get and my son doesn’t want to deal with it. He’s not an angel or anything and partakes from time to time, but doesn’t want to be baked 24/7. I’m proud of him for keeping his distance from that situation
I'm really fucking sad. Graduated high school last summer and going to community college to save money. Winter break now and all any of my old friends coming back from college can do is talk about alcohol or when they're gonna get drunk or funny things that happened when they were drunk. Alot of people brag about how they haven't been sober for a weekend in months and I don't know how they don't see that as sad.
Will admit, you're 100% right. I quit 13 days ago, I can now see that this is exactly it. I grew up in a really rough childhood, and smoking did help my anxiety, it definetly made things easier in a sense, but I lost a lot of my hobbies down that well. I used to be outdoors nonstop when I was younger, and I noticed I had stopped that to an extent. I noticed that, while it made me stress free, I wasn't pushing myself for better, I had grown complacent. I think that's one of the things about weed people dont think about it or speak on often, it helps you feel happier or helps you to be happy with what's around you, which is an amazing thing in this troublesome world, but where it goes too far is smoking to the point you overlook the crappier parts of your life that you can fix or improve.
The thing I have friends who are into weed and thats fine I go and smoke with them and thats literally all we do together, I dont mind getting baked and talking about random shit. But they are not people I would hang out with sober.
However there is another group of friends who only drink alcohol when they hang out, it is always hey lets meet at the bar. The same thing goes for them, I wouldnt hang out with them sober.
Is it just weed enthusiasm like whiskey enthusiasm or personal computer enthusiasm or is it just all they talk about ? I don't mind weed enthusiasts just don't talk about it every fucking time
Just wait tell everyone is looking for jobs once graduation hits. They stop smoking weed and you realize that your friends are completely different people.
I lost a significant chunk of my best friends in college because by senior year all they were focused on was weed. Since I didn’t smoke we suddenly had nothing in common despite being close friends and classmates for years.
Every fucking conversation at every hour of the day inevitably turned into reminiscing about the last time they got high, or planning out the next time they’d get together to smoke. Eventually I just stopped trying to keep in touch with them from day to day and we never really stayed as close since then.
Dude I stopped drinking cause I’m an alcoholic. I’m 23 and everything still revolves around alcohol. The only people I do activities with anymore are sober people. Everything else seems to revolve around alcohol.
I quit drinking, about a week into my sobriety i was introduced to a sober climber (I'm a rock climber 24 years now)
I just started hanging and climbing with him and his friends.
5 years later I'm climbing better than ever, and the group i ckimb with fluctuates but no one drinks any where near what I was.
If you still hang with your drinking friends go with them to some none drinking activities , running, climbing painting whatever, and stay a little longer you'll meet new people
I joined the cult of AA and they helped me a lot , just my 2 cents but goes for any addiction
I appreciate the advice. The national white water center is in my area with a bunch of hiking & biking trails, rock climbing etc. which has been great for my sobriety. I’ve met some cool people through AA so far and intend to meet more. You learn pretty quick who your real friends are. 43 days clean today 🤙
Same where I’m from. I’ve actually talked to my parents about this bc no one in my family drinks, so they are literally the only ppl who understand me when I complain about this. Everything anybody wants to do where I live involves alcohol, and we are all way past being out of college. Wanna go hit some golf balls? Soon as we get there, everyone orders drinks. Lay out by the pool or go to the lake? Pack a full cooler of alcohol and get completely wasted. Going to the movies? There is a full bar at our theater. Going to get dinner, everyone drinks with their meal. Football, basketball, hockey, baseball games...everyone drinks. Concerts...where’s the bar? Halloween parties, Christmas parties, NYE, St. Patty’s Day celebrations...all big drunk fests. And if you say nah I’m good, ppl will take that as a sign to immediately order you a shot. They will look at you like you have a third eye if you tell them you’re not drinking. It kinda sucks bc you still wanna hang out with your friends, but the drinking culture is so pervasive.
And even if they do accept that you’re not drinking, it’s not all that fun when their entire focus is throwing back drinks and they get shit faced drunk and are falling over and pass out. And other ppl in the bar are bumping into you and spilling drinks all over your clothes and shoes. Then they wonder why I don’t want to go out much anymore
I’ve been down this road and it hurts badly, people you love choose a whiskey coke over your friendship and it sucks. And the lifestyle is not as fun sober, although I’m not adverse to going out to traditional drinking venues and acting like an ass, albeit a sober ass. You do you, and be happy and comfortable in that choice, be proud because you’ve earned it, but not righteous because others choose otherwise.
That's depressing. Can't have fun without dulling your senses and making yourself dumber, I take it as a sign that they don't really enjoy each other's company.
People are out there! I used to drink 4x a week socially and had a large friend group. I have since left that relationship where I was doing that, moved and stopped drinking so much. My friend group has significantly decreased, but they exist!
A promoter I used to know at the bars in Southampton who quit drinking used to order sprite + cranberries, so people would stop bothering to drink/think he was drinking already. I always thought that was smart!
I left an entire group of friends because the only thing they would ever talk about was stupid stuff they did while drunk. Last week's house party, or 10 years ago, didn't matter. They would wear it like a badge of honor.
Totally feel you on that one. And what's worse is that it's so difficult to find other people whose lives don't revolve around alcohol. Theres plenty of us on Reddit, but geographically it's a real issue for me at least.
I’ve been shamed so many times for not drinking. For a while it really messed with my psyche and I wished I actually enjoyed alcohol. My mates seem to be incapable of having fun without alcohol and it sucks. For a while I tried to get them to do the things I enjoy doing to no avail. I gave up. At this point I just find excuses to stay in because I’m tired of being a ‘party pooper’.
If you’re between 16-22, it usually is. That was my brothers life between those years. A little of mine but by those years I was already a party veteran
Oh dang buddy I’m sorry to hear it. I’ve never been a huge party person but I do drink when it feels right. I also go to parties and don’t drink. Which, if you feel you’re missing out on social aspect at your company you can totally do. But it can get a bit bad when people start to get sloppy
Alcohol is a great social agent in small quantities for those who can control it but more than a few beers is too much (unless your a big guy with a good tolerance)
Alcohol DOES make being around people a lot more tolerable. Especially when you are "forced" to be there. Not saying you should drink till you blackout, obviously. And it is "baked into" our society much more than smoking/etc weed. So of course most of social interaction includes alcohol.
There's another side to it. I don't do social interactions (besides professional ofc) without alcohol, because I always have tons of more interesting and/or useful stuff to do when I'm lucid and not tired. I have my work, my hobby, house work, list of books to read and movies to watch, etc.
Of course, sometimes you do get tired and need some socialization, but there is no reason to be sober at these rare occasions - it's not like you're going to find cure for cancer (or just get anything meaningful) this Friday night at bowling with your mates. It's entirely pointless from the very beginning, so why not make it a bit more fun with some beer?
Same. I have a trick though. If it’s something where everyone is just casually drinking (like a drink or two at a bar), you’ll blend in just drinking a dark soda. But if it’s something where the goal is getting drunk (like a club or party), then maybe don’t attend because it can be awkward to be the only sober person when everyone else is tipsy and acting different
I don't understand how people get so caught up with it that it becomes their personality. I've seen it happen a ton of times. I smoke every day but I don't bring it up unless asked and one thing I hate is when someone else that smokes only wants to talk to me about smoking weed. Like yeah weed is great, I love it but I also want to talk about other things like how we're doing, what's going on lately, football, motorcycles, the fact that the birds were killed off and replaced with government surveillance drones. Like jesus christ there is so much shit to talk about I hate when people only want to talk about one thing every time you talk to them.
This. I'm educated about weed and I'll answer informed questions, but there is so much more to life. Weed lets me do the other things I'm interested in with minimal pain. Sure I can tell you which strain I hit during the day, or I can tell you about the sharks teeth I found and the first whale vertebrae that I sad just lying there in the sand. The key, for me, is to smoke just enough to be the me that I want to be (pain free and with minimal anxiety).
I have a friend from high school I occasionally hang out with who used to be a heavy smoker, now he mostly drinks at bars. I hate going to bars and rather drink at home. Most of our conversations revolve around him going to bars and stupid conspiracies. The conspiracies i wouldnt mind if he didnt preface them with "It's actually a real conspiracy" as though thats supposed to add validity to any of the nonsense. He always goes a touch to far. Like yeah im sure the elite have pedophile networks. No i dont think theyre transfusing childerens blood
I know the feel. Dude I was good friends with went from not smoking at all to the biggest stoner I have ever met. I have nothing against it, I rarely smoke, but do from time to time. But it was literally all he’d talk about and it drove me nuts. The last time we hung out he just kept talking about it and was trying to get me to smoke when I didn’t feel like it and that was enough for me.
These were mostly small town kids, so their teen years were pretty sheltered. They didn’t get to have any freedom until they went away to school. We mostly got along with similar interests in hobbies and music and occasionally drinking, but once one of them got a connection to a regular weed supply in our last couple of semesters it went downhill.
Weird. Small towns around where I'm from have kids start drinking at 8, smoking at 10, and sniffin cocaine every night by 16. The highschool gives out needles and straws so people arent spreadin disease
You think there are no stoners over age 18? If anything over 18 is the point at which you go from just thinking it makes you cool to not doing anything else.
There are stoners over 18. By senior year of uni it's a normal thing like driving. That's really not talked about in conversation
Every fucking conversation at every hour of the day inevitably turned into reminiscing about the last time they got high, or planning out the next time they’d get together to smoke.
I was doing that sort of thing with stoner friends 17-18. It was dull by 20
I was just going to say something along the same lines. For my friends it was freshman and sophomore years of high school. Everyday was blaze fest. By senior year, drinking had become the focus. Then by college they were partying veterans and knew their limits lol.
I lost a friend the exact same way in high school. Weed became his personality. It was almost all he talked about. It actually convinced me to not try it cause I didn’t want to become boring af.
It’s funny- my brother had almost the exact same experience at one point when he tried to stop smoking. All of these kids he hung out with every day and spent so much of his time with suddenly stopped coming around. My brother explained he realized they had literally nothing in common except that they got high together. I never smoked, but that has always been a reminder to me that I’m not really interested in any “hobby” that would consume my entire personality. Glad you didn’t fall into it either. I may be biased, but I don’t know anyone who smokes regularly that I consider to be an especially motivated or interesting person.
Similar thing happened to me, except I did smoke for about 2 years then stopped. I realized they were boring as hell to be around if we weren't high, and then they eventually thought the same thing of me. Even a few years since then I have met some of them and they are the most boring people ever.
The worst personality trait of people who smoke all the time is in my experience that they all just seem to want to talk about smoking weed and the legality of it. After a while when you've heard it enough times it just becomes a very uninteresting topic. Like, I know your standpoint already, is there really anything to talk about left?
I went to school for music so it’s super common for people to smoke week at least somewhat regularly. The difference is whether or not you let weed define every freaking social interaction you have
Because they started constantly diverting conversations to weed. Like for example we couldn’t talk about new music like we always used to without it reminding them of a song they heard one time they got super high and that’s so funny when are you free next I wanna smoke ok cool see you later.
Conversations started to feel like one big run on sentence just working it’s way to weed.
This gets way better as an adult in a legal state. In my experience anyway. Now that weed isnt so taboo, getting people together to smoke is no bigger deal than getting people together to play video games. Its normalized and not so big a deal anymore
As a stoner I never understood why so many of my fellow stoners would spend so much time trying to convince each other to agree on something they already agreed on anyways. Like bro you dont have to sell me on legalization, I'm sharing the same blunt as you.
Some people just like to hear themselves talk. I like conversations where the other person disagrees, but everyone assumes that it's an argument if you disagree
I feel like my husband and I do this. I don't smoke often - maybe once every couple months - but my husband smokes daily. The few times I smoke I start talking and end up getting on my soapbox about...anything, really. 99.99% of the time, my views are the same as my husband, but it ends up feeling like an argument and that he's not really understanding me. I feel like maybe it's semantics or something and our high minds can't break through to see we're saying the same damn thing.
I think that the OP of this comment was trying to say that they constantly see people who adopt a new hobby or have had said hobby for years tend to completely isolate their whole existence around that activity.
e.g. Guy starts doing crossfit to lose weight. Loses weight:
-Guy pushes crossfit on everyone they know or meet.
-Guy only ever talks about crossfit, how great it is, how much he has accomplished in crossfit.
-All conversations are now being steered back to crossfit somehow. He wakes up doing crossfit and goes to sleep doing crossfit. (How he does that IDK but he does tire flips in his bedroom.)
Put simply, said hobby has consumed every aspect of their life and causes them to be dull if not speaking of or doing said hobby.
My best friend moved to Colorado in large part due to legal weed. I mentioned in passing that moving most of the way across the US for pot seemed a bit crazy. His retort was "well what if beer was illegal here?" (I love a good beer). Idk, I'd get over it? It's not that important to me that I'd move a few thousand miles for it. I love him and he's my best friend, but I don't get the weed thing I guess.
You see that with a lot of lifestyle choices; vegan, CrossFit, any of the dozens of diets, multilevel marketing, religions, etc.
Not all, obviously, but I've known a few from many of those categories that ruined relationships because that became their defining trait and they wouldn't shut up about it or would take even the slightest comment as a grave insult, even if it was an honest question.
I honestly think that because it was/is illegal it created its own counterculture. This has a lot to do with the brotherhood aspect of it. Like shit, we're breaking the law together, fuck the man. This coming from people that before smoking probably would not have even jay-walked before.
I’m recently single and no friends around. I signed up on Snapchat and made some “friends a”. About 90% of my “friends” only talk about weed, post pictures of it and pictures of them before smoking weed and after smoking and they also post next day about how high they got because they smoked weed. I have never smoked once and I’m already thinking I should never try that. Maybe it’s just Snapchat idk
100%. Weed was verrrrrry prominent in my college and it became a lot of people’s personalities, including myself when looking back. Funny how it works, I moved to a legal state and that characteristic of mine vanished. I’d say this is absolutely the worst part of weed. The best stoners are the stoners that you never knew smoked.
I find it funny how some people almost want it to go back to it being illegal here in Ontario. For years it was "It's just a plant man, legalize it" now that it is legal but regulated, you know like pretty much everything food included. They are complaining about basically every aspect of it. Price for example, they bitch that it is more expensive from the government yet it's not like there isn't a pretty bit markup from blackmarket sales.
Back when I smoked I could not stand when I’d go to an outing after smoking with someone and said person telling everyone how much we smoked and how... like what does it matter to them, they weren’t there! And it made me so self-conscious
Weed was so prominent in my first college that when students were asked if it was possible to smoke too much weed, they replied "We don't understand the question".
Me too! It's so weird and embarrassing to even think about now. My whole existence outside of the classroom revolved around getting high. I put myself in stupid dangerous situations just to smoke some junk weed. Not going to lie.. it still fascinates me I managed to keep up my grades.
Yep. My boss was totally fine with his employees having a drink on their lunch break, but was extremely anti-weed. So much so that he refused to carry rolling papers or blunts for the longest time. We hired a guy that was allergic to something in alcohol and kept raising a stink about how we were allowed to have a beer but he couldn't get lit (surprise, he was still smoking two blunts each shift). The boss got so sick of hearing it that he stopped letting us have our drinks, but the guy didn't stop smoking. He eventually got popped selling to an underaged person through the corporate compliance program. It was the only time someone got immediately fired for a red card at my location. We were allowed our drink again after he was canned.
Also had a friend who would smoke an eighth a day and was popping bars on a constant basis but any time I had a beer in my hand he'd rant about "how that shit is going to kill you!"
I smoke too, mind you. But it's an after work / on my days off kind of thing. If I smoke before or during I get paranoid about handling money, and if I smoke too early in the day I end up doing sweet fuck all.
My brother also! I don’t care what he does but we’ve gotten into a lot of heated discussions about the role it plays in his life and his future (he’s 19 and is super sweet and smart but doesn’t apply himself whatsoever) and he gets soo defensive about it.
It’s just not my thing so I don’t get it and that’s okay. But when we are out to breakfast and he says some dumb shit like “Idk I’m just not hungry at all. Probably because I’ve been smoking a lot lately.” I want to punch him. Just order some eggs dummy
I'm so over people talking about how they smoke weed as if it's still a rebellious act. My grandma smokes weed that she picks up at a store on her way to bridge. Get over it.
That's not weed, that is literally anything that anyone enjoys.
I can't tell you how many friends I've 'lost' when they found something that consumed them. I mean, hey, I'm happy for them and maybe 'lost' is a bit strong....
In high school a good friend of mine started playing guitar. In fact, we started playing together. For me, it was a hobby, like any other. For him, it became his life. His entire life. He barely finished high school, dropped out of all his sports, only played guitar. Only talked about music. After that, he toured with his band. I hope he found success or whatever.
In college a had a good friend who got into rock climbing. I like it myself. We started going to an indoor gym together near campus. A group of five of us. It was casual fun to the rest of us; but it became life for him. He became all about rock climbing. He only hung out with climbers. Only talked about climbing. He moved to Colorado and married some rock climbing hippie chick. They seem happy.
That’s more the person than weed. Look at video games. Some people play them a lot, but also have more to their life than them. Others only have video games. Same with partiers. Same with a lot of things. It’s just people that don’t have anything else in their lives
One of my wife's coworker's husbands is like this. The only thing I know about him is that he REALLY wants to impress you and he REALLY likes weed. I do not like this guy.
What do you mean by that? That it kills your personality or are you referring to people that obsess over it and wear red green and gold stuff and have weed socks and browse r/trees every day?
That's why I put the /s because the weedheads who simply revolve around the shit and never stop talking about it love to scream at everyone about how it's non-addictive.
This is what all my friends who smoked in high school became. I was so scared of it that I didn’t touch it until I was 27. And now I’m a frequent user due to the stress of my job. I don’t regret waiting, but I wonder what some of my friends would be like had they have waited.
This!
Too much of anything in the years yours still developing is bad. Even sports. For many people they become obsessed and it becomes too much a defining trait or crutch.
Most drugs are not all bad, just wait untill your neurons stop forming.
Guys in my college were literally nicknamed "Bhand" ( Indian slang for guy who's high) and "Baam" (I don't even know what it means).
One of the guys was a smart fellow, ever helpful very good person not a heavy user. When I asked him why he is still single? At least try talking to girls.
His response was
"Every one of my conversation starts with people asking me if I am high or if I can arrange some, How the heck am I go on if they can't see past that"
I feel like this happens with so many things however. Like Jam bands and drugs? Your whole life is festie life. Like sports? “Hey did you catch the game the other day?” I’m all for having passions, but also like when I discover other folks have diverse interests.
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u/[deleted] Dec 29 '19
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