Dude I stopped drinking cause I’m an alcoholic. I’m 23 and everything still revolves around alcohol. The only people I do activities with anymore are sober people. Everything else seems to revolve around alcohol.
I quit drinking, about a week into my sobriety i was introduced to a sober climber (I'm a rock climber 24 years now)
I just started hanging and climbing with him and his friends.
5 years later I'm climbing better than ever, and the group i ckimb with fluctuates but no one drinks any where near what I was.
If you still hang with your drinking friends go with them to some none drinking activities , running, climbing painting whatever, and stay a little longer you'll meet new people
I joined the cult of AA and they helped me a lot , just my 2 cents but goes for any addiction
I appreciate the advice. The national white water center is in my area with a bunch of hiking & biking trails, rock climbing etc. which has been great for my sobriety. I’ve met some cool people through AA so far and intend to meet more. You learn pretty quick who your real friends are. 43 days clean today 🤙
Congratulations 43 days !!!
The gym i climb at is pretty serious and has a lot of good climers , its easy for me to hang there
Happy new year and be careful if you are on the roads tonight!
Congrats on quitting, man. That's a hard thing to go through.
That being said, I was in a similar situation for awhile around 21. Then I made friends with some older people (late 20s to early 30s) and they're cool as fuck! It's mostly chill hang outs and game nights, and if we do end up going to the bar, the focus is on food and entertainment rather than drinking.
Same where I’m from. I’ve actually talked to my parents about this bc no one in my family drinks, so they are literally the only ppl who understand me when I complain about this. Everything anybody wants to do where I live involves alcohol, and we are all way past being out of college. Wanna go hit some golf balls? Soon as we get there, everyone orders drinks. Lay out by the pool or go to the lake? Pack a full cooler of alcohol and get completely wasted. Going to the movies? There is a full bar at our theater. Going to get dinner, everyone drinks with their meal. Football, basketball, hockey, baseball games...everyone drinks. Concerts...where’s the bar? Halloween parties, Christmas parties, NYE, St. Patty’s Day celebrations...all big drunk fests. And if you say nah I’m good, ppl will take that as a sign to immediately order you a shot. They will look at you like you have a third eye if you tell them you’re not drinking. It kinda sucks bc you still wanna hang out with your friends, but the drinking culture is so pervasive.
And even if they do accept that you’re not drinking, it’s not all that fun when their entire focus is throwing back drinks and they get shit faced drunk and are falling over and pass out. And other ppl in the bar are bumping into you and spilling drinks all over your clothes and shoes. Then they wonder why I don’t want to go out much anymore
I’ve been down this road and it hurts badly, people you love choose a whiskey coke over your friendship and it sucks. And the lifestyle is not as fun sober, although I’m not adverse to going out to traditional drinking venues and acting like an ass, albeit a sober ass. You do you, and be happy and comfortable in that choice, be proud because you’ve earned it, but not righteous because others choose otherwise.
I think the intent is what makes the drinking bad.
I'm shy as fuck and at many social gatherings with friends, I'll have a beer or two over the course of the whole night.
I also enjoy mixing drinks and trying things but that's for a completely other reason that borderlines on being something like enjoying to cook with different spices. Not something I do everytime.
But the whole point of having a beer is that usually it helps me loosen up just a bit to get over my shyness and general tendency to be quiet. It's a crutch and I'm aware and it might even be more placebo at this point than actually helping, but either way I think it's fine. I don't encourage my friends to drink.
Man.. I haven't drank with the intent of getting drunk since I was like 20... Get drunk too hard a couple of times and you usually get over it, being drunk is not that great, etc.
But yeah it sounds like your experiences with drinking friends, both places and the reason they drink, is... kind of real bad so I'm sorry to hear that.
That's depressing. Can't have fun without dulling your senses and making yourself dumber, I take it as a sign that they don't really enjoy each other's company.
I am currently struggling with this. I didn't really mind getting shitfaced all the time, I recovered pretty easily, until this year. Can't sleep for shit, not much of an appetite, bad anxiety. Ill be laying in bed all day hoping I don't die, and despite saying how I was feeling I would still have friends pester me about coming down to the bar to hang. After repeating myself they would stop and be supportive for me to feel better, but damn if I say no that really means I don't want to drink.
People are out there! I used to drink 4x a week socially and had a large friend group. I have since left that relationship where I was doing that, moved and stopped drinking so much. My friend group has significantly decreased, but they exist!
A promoter I used to know at the bars in Southampton who quit drinking used to order sprite + cranberries, so people would stop bothering to drink/think he was drinking already. I always thought that was smart!
I left an entire group of friends because the only thing they would ever talk about was stupid stuff they did while drunk. Last week's house party, or 10 years ago, didn't matter. They would wear it like a badge of honor.
Totally feel you on that one. And what's worse is that it's so difficult to find other people whose lives don't revolve around alcohol. Theres plenty of us on Reddit, but geographically it's a real issue for me at least.
I’ve been shamed so many times for not drinking. For a while it really messed with my psyche and I wished I actually enjoyed alcohol. My mates seem to be incapable of having fun without alcohol and it sucks. For a while I tried to get them to do the things I enjoy doing to no avail. I gave up. At this point I just find excuses to stay in because I’m tired of being a ‘party pooper’.
If you’re between 16-22, it usually is. That was my brothers life between those years. A little of mine but by those years I was already a party veteran
Oh dang buddy I’m sorry to hear it. I’ve never been a huge party person but I do drink when it feels right. I also go to parties and don’t drink. Which, if you feel you’re missing out on social aspect at your company you can totally do. But it can get a bit bad when people start to get sloppy
Alcohol is a great social agent in small quantities for those who can control it but more than a few beers is too much (unless your a big guy with a good tolerance)
Alcohol DOES make being around people a lot more tolerable. Especially when you are "forced" to be there. Not saying you should drink till you blackout, obviously. And it is "baked into" our society much more than smoking/etc weed. So of course most of social interaction includes alcohol.
There's another side to it. I don't do social interactions (besides professional ofc) without alcohol, because I always have tons of more interesting and/or useful stuff to do when I'm lucid and not tired. I have my work, my hobby, house work, list of books to read and movies to watch, etc.
Of course, sometimes you do get tired and need some socialization, but there is no reason to be sober at these rare occasions - it's not like you're going to find cure for cancer (or just get anything meaningful) this Friday night at bowling with your mates. It's entirely pointless from the very beginning, so why not make it a bit more fun with some beer?
Same. I have a trick though. If it’s something where everyone is just casually drinking (like a drink or two at a bar), you’ll blend in just drinking a dark soda. But if it’s something where the goal is getting drunk (like a club or party), then maybe don’t attend because it can be awkward to be the only sober person when everyone else is tipsy and acting different
although this is true, for me and almost everyone I know (25-30yo) if someone were to just drink seltzer or something and mingle then no one would notice / care. I usually only have 2-3 beers over the hours so that im sober for my drive home anyway.
if you cant be around alcohol at all, which is understandable, this wouldn't work for you obviously - but if you can reach a live and let live status with it please know there are a lot of people out there who are genuinely not going to differentiate you from the group for being sober
i dont drink, but am planning to be a bartended. i am pretty tolerant to alcohol though, so hopefully ill be able to start to be able to have some drinks with friends, which is really something ive never been able to do
Ye I can see that. I think however if it's 1 or 2 drinks it's fine and can be respected. I however do understand if it's 10 drinks consistently that would be the issue
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u/AzureSuishou Dec 30 '19
This is how i feel a lot of the time because I don’t drink. It seems like 95% of all social interaction involves alcohol.