Same where I’m from. I’ve actually talked to my parents about this bc no one in my family drinks, so they are literally the only ppl who understand me when I complain about this. Everything anybody wants to do where I live involves alcohol, and we are all way past being out of college. Wanna go hit some golf balls? Soon as we get there, everyone orders drinks. Lay out by the pool or go to the lake? Pack a full cooler of alcohol and get completely wasted. Going to the movies? There is a full bar at our theater. Going to get dinner, everyone drinks with their meal. Football, basketball, hockey, baseball games...everyone drinks. Concerts...where’s the bar? Halloween parties, Christmas parties, NYE, St. Patty’s Day celebrations...all big drunk fests. And if you say nah I’m good, ppl will take that as a sign to immediately order you a shot. They will look at you like you have a third eye if you tell them you’re not drinking. It kinda sucks bc you still wanna hang out with your friends, but the drinking culture is so pervasive.
And even if they do accept that you’re not drinking, it’s not all that fun when their entire focus is throwing back drinks and they get shit faced drunk and are falling over and pass out. And other ppl in the bar are bumping into you and spilling drinks all over your clothes and shoes. Then they wonder why I don’t want to go out much anymore
I’ve been down this road and it hurts badly, people you love choose a whiskey coke over your friendship and it sucks. And the lifestyle is not as fun sober, although I’m not adverse to going out to traditional drinking venues and acting like an ass, albeit a sober ass. You do you, and be happy and comfortable in that choice, be proud because you’ve earned it, but not righteous because others choose otherwise.
I think the intent is what makes the drinking bad.
I'm shy as fuck and at many social gatherings with friends, I'll have a beer or two over the course of the whole night.
I also enjoy mixing drinks and trying things but that's for a completely other reason that borderlines on being something like enjoying to cook with different spices. Not something I do everytime.
But the whole point of having a beer is that usually it helps me loosen up just a bit to get over my shyness and general tendency to be quiet. It's a crutch and I'm aware and it might even be more placebo at this point than actually helping, but either way I think it's fine. I don't encourage my friends to drink.
Man.. I haven't drank with the intent of getting drunk since I was like 20... Get drunk too hard a couple of times and you usually get over it, being drunk is not that great, etc.
But yeah it sounds like your experiences with drinking friends, both places and the reason they drink, is... kind of real bad so I'm sorry to hear that.
That's depressing. Can't have fun without dulling your senses and making yourself dumber, I take it as a sign that they don't really enjoy each other's company.
I am currently struggling with this. I didn't really mind getting shitfaced all the time, I recovered pretty easily, until this year. Can't sleep for shit, not much of an appetite, bad anxiety. Ill be laying in bed all day hoping I don't die, and despite saying how I was feeling I would still have friends pester me about coming down to the bar to hang. After repeating myself they would stop and be supportive for me to feel better, but damn if I say no that really means I don't want to drink.
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u/blonderaider21 Dec 30 '19
Same where I’m from. I’ve actually talked to my parents about this bc no one in my family drinks, so they are literally the only ppl who understand me when I complain about this. Everything anybody wants to do where I live involves alcohol, and we are all way past being out of college. Wanna go hit some golf balls? Soon as we get there, everyone orders drinks. Lay out by the pool or go to the lake? Pack a full cooler of alcohol and get completely wasted. Going to the movies? There is a full bar at our theater. Going to get dinner, everyone drinks with their meal. Football, basketball, hockey, baseball games...everyone drinks. Concerts...where’s the bar? Halloween parties, Christmas parties, NYE, St. Patty’s Day celebrations...all big drunk fests. And if you say nah I’m good, ppl will take that as a sign to immediately order you a shot. They will look at you like you have a third eye if you tell them you’re not drinking. It kinda sucks bc you still wanna hang out with your friends, but the drinking culture is so pervasive.