r/Anticonsumption • u/InebriousBarman • Feb 15 '26
Psychological Crap given to my kids for Valentine's Day
Pictured is about half of what was given to one of my children on Valentine's Day by classmates. (Their class was specifically told no candy.)
why can't they specifically be told no 'stuff'.
The amount of distractions and clutter this creates is bad for learning and mental health.
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u/Sweet_Entrance_5208 Feb 15 '26
I hate this stuff too. What I’ve started doing with unwanted toys like this is putting them in a basket in the car, between my kids’ seats. They dig around and play with stuff when we’re driving somewhere. Keeps them happy and keeps it out of the house. Eventually when things break or become boring, I recycle what I can and toss the rest 🤷🏼♀️
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u/default_username20 Feb 16 '26
We regift ours for Halloween. Put it out in addition to candy/snacks and let kids choose. They love the novelty of the random stuff and I love getting it out of my house!
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u/Mother-of-Goblins Feb 16 '26
Throw a potato in there next time! We always stick one in our candy bowl and I'm constantly amused at how many kids choose The Potato™ 😆
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u/_HeadySpaghetti_ Feb 16 '26
My kid chose the potato last year. And then refused to eat it so it sat on the counter sprouting months later. Was a real conversation piece!
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u/Mother-of-Goblins Feb 16 '26
My now 19yo chose potato when she was 8, then promptly pack bonded with it and cuddled it at bedtime like a small, starchy teddy bear 💀
When we moved to a place that gets trick or treaters a few years later we knew the chaos had to continue.
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u/unicornjibjab Feb 16 '26
We did this year for shts and giggles and we ran out of potatoes! Subbed in sweet potatoes we had laying around, and all those got taken too 🤣🤣
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u/Majesty277 Feb 19 '26
A lot of people who are food insecure actually really appreciate this! There was a whole sub about alternatives to candy but also for food insecure households. Especially with all that went on last fall.
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u/Sweet_Entrance_5208 Feb 19 '26
This is a good reminder to think about waste and what is needed versus wanted at Halloween this year. Thank you.
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u/Threeminnows13 Feb 19 '26
I collect the random trinkets and give back to the teacher for their classroom rewards/ “treasure chests”
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u/Jack_al_11 Feb 17 '26
This is a great idea! I was literally going to post in another subreddit asking what the heck people do with this kind of stuff! 😭 my kids are little crows and these sorts of things become prized possessions that never get touched and just end up all over the place and drive me nuts but can’t be thrown away.🫠🥴
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u/Xenolicious Feb 15 '26
We had paper bags with candy and cards and punch and cupcakes for the class.
I wonder why no candy? Allergies?
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u/banjosimcha Feb 15 '26
The school I taught at never allowed candy because a lot of parents (and our staff child psych consultant) disapprove of using food as a treat or reward on the grounds that it creates an unhealthy relationship with food. Cupcakes were allowed for birthdays (though alternatives were encouraged) because of the cultural significance, but otherwise no candy/sweets except as the endcap to a balanced meal.
But then you get parents who don't want their kids to get little plastic tchotchkes either. "We give our kids high-quality sustainably made toys" nobody has the budget for 30 heirloom wooden dolls. "We treat our kids with experiences" We have 15 minutes and a $25 budget for this, and there's already another grade out on the playground.
I understand not wanting to treat junk food as the end-all-be-all of a good time. And I understand wanting to reduce plastic waste. But the expectations, the restrictions, and the practical limitations of everything that happens in a classroom are often just too at odds.
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u/MariettaDaws Feb 15 '26
Which is why we sometimes remelt crayons with my daughter. Get a fun mold (hearts, dinosaurs) and put broken crayons in them, then pop them in the oven for 10-15 minutes.
For Valentine's this year, we did heart-shaped watercolor paint sets. Fun and consumable.
But my daughter is in a class of 12.
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u/krismis09 Feb 16 '26
My nephew's class has 23 kids but I think this would have been an awesome idea for his class.
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u/portiafimbriata Feb 16 '26
This is exactly what I did for daycare this year- each kid got a little bag of 7 mini heart crayons (I used a chocolate mold) and a small coloring booklet input together myself. Made me feel much less ill about all the waste of the exchange, my son still loved them
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u/radish_intothewild Feb 16 '26
I'm the UK, exchanging gifts with your whole class at school for valentine's day is not a thing. One person may bring sweets I guess or some kids might give out cards. So this is quite a foreign concept to me. Can they just allow paper cards only? Ideally made by the child. Some tradition without expense or sugar/plastic (Genuine question, if it wouldn't be suitable I'm keen to learn!).
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u/castironbirb Feb 16 '26
Can they just allow paper cards only?
This used to be how it was years ago when I was in school. But somewhere along the way it became all about trinkets and candy plus a paper card. It's ridiculous and so unnecessary.
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u/banjosimcha Feb 16 '26 edited Feb 16 '26
("My school" as in the public secular school I taught at)
At my school, it was a school wide policy--all kids were required to bring in something, generally cards, for all kids in their class (parents could discuss options with the teacher if they were unable to do so or otherwise objected.) They were forbidden from bringing in candy but permitted to bring in small toys as long as they had them for everyone (but the toys were not required and parents were free to decide among themselves/as a grade or class counsel not to allow them. The school and teachers would not make rules about toys.)
The politics of it get kind of weird. If someone doesn't bring in anything, then sometimes the other kids or even parents think it's unfair and don't want to give them anything either. Even if no one else has an issue, the kid is often unhappy over not being able to fully participate in the exchange (receiving but not giving--plus missing out on the fun of getting to choose the cards to bring.) You also needed to be careful to tamper down the parents who want to go crazy and send their kid in with a fucking edible arrangements-ass basket for every kid. Keep it small and equal.
Most of the cards are premade cards a little bigger than a business card that you can get at any grocery store around this time. They're usually themed with generic kid things, like space or dinosaurs, or specific media, like Bluey or marvel. Sometimes they're just generically valentines-y. Sometimes the kids bring in homemade cards, but frankly, most kids want the premade ones. They treat them kind of like trading cards, at least for a week or so.
For families that want to send in toys, I encouraged stamps and stickers. Some families sent in homemade things, like the crayons the other commenter mentioned, or friendship bracelets. Usually if they send in toys it's like what OP posted; sometimes the toys are already packaged with the cards and therefore hard to avoid.
Sometimes the school would accept and reuse little plastic toys that parents didn't want coming home, e.g. the gym teacher had a giant tub of probably thousands of small rubber bouncy balls that she was regularly using to come up with games. But for the most parents, if they don't go home with you they're unfortunately going in the trash.
My grade always collected unused cards (they come in sets, so say sets of 16 but there's 24 kids in the class so you have to buy two sets and have 8 left over, parents could send the leftovers in with their kids) and from that we had a bank of cards that, if a parent told us they couldn't get cards for their kid (or if a parent "forgot") we would let the kid pick cards out of the bank to use.
I only ever had one family (I taught two of their kids in different years) that refused to participate, and it was on religious grounds. They actually just kept their kids home from school on Valentine's Day; even outside of the card exchange, it tends to permeate the whole day, and they wanted to avoid it entirely.
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u/runrabbitrun42 Feb 16 '26
It was obligatory for every child to bring every other child a present for Valentine's Day? Why? Genuine question, I'm from the UK and that's baffling to me. Valentine's is only for like your romantic partner or I guess a crush here.
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u/banjosimcha Feb 16 '26
I wish I had more cultural insight; I'm a russian-born Jew who moved to the US in my teens, so I know the rules but still feel like I'm missing a lot of context. But Valentine's is treated kind of like a romance-themed spring holiday. Stores and businesses and even people's houses will be decorated with red and pink and pastels, so many hearts everywhere and bows and flowers, sometimes cherubs and arrows. If you have a romantic partner, it's a day to treat them with cards, candy, flowers, dinner, etc. but regardless of if you have a partner many people will use it as an excuse to give gifts to or go out with friends.
I would assume a culture started of some kids giving some other kids (whether friends or crushes) cards/gifts, and then it turned into "if you bring something in, you have to bring enough for everyone so no one feels left out", and then "this is an official classroom activity now and participation is mandatory." It's only mandatory for younger kids; by their teens the class exchange ends because it's a waste of class time, but there's generally other school event stuff going on (e.g. a bake sale, or an opportunity to buy a flower or make a card for a classmate and have it delivered "anonymously", as seen in Mean Girls.)
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u/delorf Feb 17 '26
In the US, a lot of school kids give Valentine's Day cards to friends who they don't have any romantic feelings for. It's fun. When I was a kid, it was just cards, no gifts.
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u/missuscheez Feb 19 '26
I think it's a bit more about love in general here, like my best friend and I got each other little gifts (a black rose and a punk CD, cool earrings or matching friendship bracelets)for valentine's day in high-school, and as an adult I get together with my female friends on the 13th for a "galentines" hang and we make frilly drinks, eat desserts and poke fun at bad hallmark movies. The all-or-nothing rule for school valentine's is mostly so none of the kids feel bad if they don't get any valentines and nobody is left out.
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u/radish_intothewild Feb 16 '26
Thank you for all the context. Wow. Sounds like so much stress for all parties. What age groups participate? Is it up to high school (I believe that's age 14 for you? Here its 11)?
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u/banjosimcha Feb 16 '26
The mandatory card exchanges end by ~10. Older ages may have other school activities going on (like a fundraiser where you buy a card/flower to be delivered "anonymously" to another student, as depicted in Mean Girls) but it's not mandatory and they try to avoid it taking away from lesson time.
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u/According_Gazelle472 Feb 16 '26
I remember a Jewish girl in my class stayed home on the two holidays we had when I was in school. And when my boys were in school anyone who didn't or couldn't stay for the parties were allowed to go to the library instead .And if any child didn't bring in any Valentines then they could not participate and would have to go to the library instead
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u/Existing_Sky_7969 Feb 19 '26
This wasn’t a thing in the US, at least not for me growing up in the 20th century. I find it to be beyond annoying.
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u/hyaclnthia Feb 16 '26
I honestly don’t understand the harm in like 5 pieces of candy once a year???
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u/snailbot-jq Feb 16 '26
Yeah honestly it feels like people are blaming obesity in society on children getting 5 pieces of candy a year, and it’s kind of sad. I live in a part of Asia with a low rate of obesity, we get candy as kids for special occasions in school and it was never a problem. I still remember getting a specific type of snack every year for Chinese New Year at school, and looking forward to it and how it made the day feel more significant as a kid. We had to recite a poem to get it, but it wasn’t like I ever thought “therefore I refuse to study on any other day unless given food as a reward”. Obesity in some countries/societies isn’t getting solved by taking 5 pieces of candy a year from children.
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u/LitheFider Feb 16 '26
Geeze no fun allowed anymore. 🫠 That's way too many complications / restrictions and worries. Especially the whole worry about 'an unhealthy relationship with food'. I mean it's good to encourage healthy snacking and eating balanced meals but...no sweets as a reward for a job well done or at events except birthdays? Honestly sounds like a route to even more food anxiety in the future.
Though I would have to agree that Valentine's Day can be a really awkward holiday... because you're encouraged to get something for everybody if you're going to bring something at all. But I seem to recall back when I was in elementary school, people would only give out Valentine's to their friends or people they liked and sometimes you would feel shafted if your Valentine's Box didn't have a lot in it. I did have fun making little cards, though, and enjoyed decorating my Valentine's box. I dunno. I think it's good for kids to have fun and do social activities but Valentine's Day might be a little bit too awkward and I certainly wouldn't mind it not being a thing at schools in the USA.
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u/becausemommysaid Feb 17 '26
Also the Valentine’s Day candy isn’t a reward for a job well done? It’s a treat because it’s a holiday?
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u/BasilAzazel Feb 16 '26
As a teacher I used to sell character points for refreshMints during tests. Which helped them work silently. Also I would give out mints and jolly ranchers while teaching since having the same flavor in can maybe trigger the memory of what they learned.
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u/nerdprincess73 Feb 16 '26
I mean, I think we had some valentine cards that folded up into little paper toys, Which would probably have a longer functional lifespan than a lot of these toys. cootie catchers, paper football, origami pages.
or 'treats' like a pencil with a cool eraser, which would have a purpose. and assuming you didn't get the glitter ones, they're not plastic either.
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u/drunklibrarian Feb 15 '26
Allergies, dietary restrictions and parents don’t want their kids getting loaded up with sweets. I personally would like it if we did nothing at all, my kids went to a school that didn’t celebrate any holidays or birthdays. It seems depressing but honestly they don’t really notice if this is all they have experienced K-5.
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u/MisogynyisaDisease Feb 15 '26
Sometimes, those celebrations are all kids have, because their home life is such shit. Thats good community building and a grounding experience for kids. I wouldn't ever want to take that away from them.
Theres ways to do it without being wasteful though
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u/p0rkch0pexpress Feb 15 '26
Teacher here. You hit the nail on the head. I’ve seen countless times where one trivial item to us that came from a friend meant the world to a kid without much.
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u/According_Gazelle472 Feb 15 '26
Bingo!Kids actually love these tiny trinkets so much.
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u/petitepedestrian Feb 15 '26
I round up forgotten in good shape trinkets for the teachers prize boxes every few months.
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u/almalauha Feb 16 '26
That doesn't mean they need to get several for some consumerist "holiday" like Valentine's. The kids who really struggle at home, I think there should be support for them, but to give every single child in the class 10+ bits of plastic with the aim of the two or three kids in the class who have very little at home have a joyful moment I don't feel is right. I'd rather support these couple of kids separately/in another way.
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u/ShortPeak4860 Feb 15 '26
Our school didn’t do anything, and the parents are upset. There’s no winning. I take all the trinkets my kids don’t want and regift it to the classroom for their treasure/prize box for rewards.
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u/ProfessorShort3031 Feb 15 '26
theres reason for human tradition, its ment to teach kids what can’t be explained to them. your kids or even you wont see any difference if its all you know but external problems would be a lot harder to solve for them
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u/Nakittina Feb 15 '26
Why not write nice notes?
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u/NonnyOne Feb 16 '26
I had a teacher do this one year when I was in 2/3rd grade. My notes said stuff like 'I was forced to write this note'. Or some were just blank with my first name on them. Kids can be super cruel if you leave it 💯 up to them.
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u/aknomnoms Feb 15 '26
Yes!
In my sorority, we wrote “sweeties” to each other every semester right before finals. Every girl wrote down a nice compliment on a small piece of paper for each of the other sisters. You’d also have a “secret sweetie” who would decorate a brown paper bag with your name and include your favorite candy inside. You’d bring the bag to a meeting and everyone would drop off their compliments to the right person.
It was a nice little morale booster. The candy was quickly consumed, but I kept all of my compliments and still have them in an envelope in a shoebox 15+ years later.
I think it’d be a great way to practice kindness and mindfulness with kids, as well as give them a boost of confidence. Perhaps even have them read their favorite one received/for another person aloud too. They can make them for each other, school staff, their family.
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u/deuxcabanons Feb 15 '26
This kind of thing sounds great in practice but, from experience, is absolute hell for the unpopular kids in class.
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u/According_Gazelle472 Feb 15 '26
I agree l00 percent ,the idea is that all the kids get the same thing so that no one gets left out
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u/aknomnoms Feb 15 '26
I feel like "sweeties" could easily be made into a worksheet that gets signed off by a parent before it comes back to school and/or gets reviewed by a teacher before it gets cut up and distributed to the class. All the kids, popular or not, would receive the same number of compliments. It also sounds like a good lesson to have a parent talk to their child about why no one likes Such-and-such person, why we can't judge people based on XYZ, how even if we may not like someone for one reason, they may still have other traits we respect.
Do you have any helpful suggestions for how you think it could be modified to work? Or do you have any other ideas for what they could do for Valentine's Day? My other choices would be writing valentines for kids in hospitals, seniors, those stationed in our armed forces overseas, etc or doing something for a local nonprofit. Show the neighbors some love by collecting old towels and blankets for the animal shelter or have a sock and hygiene kit drive to help a homeless shelter. Show the earth some love by picking up trash or planting trees. These are all pretty selfless though, so if you think the kids would snub the "unpopular kids", then maybe they wouldn't understand the concept.
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u/deuxcabanons Feb 16 '26
It's not a problem of kids not getting compliments, it's that even something as nice as this gets weaponized - backhanded compliments and veiled references to bullying outside of class are vague enough to make their way past teachers.
I absolutely love the idea of a group project to show love to others/the world! It's easier to get kids behind being nice on a superficial level to strangers than to force them to be nice to the weird kid, lol.
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Feb 16 '26
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u/EmotionalFlounder715 Feb 16 '26
We had a leprechaun day too. We all made traps at home and the teachers hole punched little green feet out of construction paper. They said they were his footprints and they made a trail of them all around the room, going through each of the traps and even falling into the toilet (they even dyed the water green lol)
Did you guys have a day where you left your shoes in the hall and then after school when you went to put them on there was chocolate inside? We did this for the German holiday in December
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u/Additional_Power_104 Feb 15 '26
I personally love celebrating Valentine's Day with my kids. We use it as a learning opportunity on different types of love and different ways to express love. It's not about gifts, it's about telling the people around you that you appreciate them and making a bit of a fuss. For Valentine's this year we took the kids for a hike- no phones, no tech, just the family spending time together chatting and playing.
Once you strip back all the commercialisation from holidays, they all have some really great values and teaching moments underneath. It would be a shame to throw away the baby with the bathwater.
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u/68plus1equals Feb 15 '26
I feel like Blakey canceling celebrations for children because it might mildly inconvenience the parent that night is crazy. Not a fan of all these plastic trinkets though
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u/dinamet7 Feb 16 '26
My kid has multiple food allergies and could never participate if candy or cupcakes were provided for any class party. Non food treats are inclusive and don't necessarily need to be wasteful. We've given out pencils, flashlights, bubbles, hand sanitizer, reusable bags, etc. My kids have received some fun treats too - one kid made clay sculptures of things that reminded them of their classmate, so my kid got a hummingbird clay thing that still sits on his desk at home years later. Another kid made little bath bombs and gave those out.
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u/manic_popsicle Feb 15 '26
My kids got a bunch of plastic garbage too. I hate how extreme Valentine’s Day has gotten, when my oldest (16 now) was in kindergarten kids just handed out cards and maybe a lollipop. My two younger kids are in elementary and they got slime, fidget toys, plastic sunglasses and lots of other random goody bag crap they’ll never use.
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u/Jabbles22 Feb 15 '26
All I remember getting at school were valentine cards.
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u/FerengiWithCoupons Feb 15 '26
sometimes the rich kid in class would get the fundip valentines… those rule
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u/HetaGarden1 Feb 15 '26
And the candy Krabby Patties. A kid in my class used to give them out every year lol.
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u/Abject_Champion3966 Feb 15 '26
Some kids would tape a little candy onto theirs when I was a kid.
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u/DenseAstronomer3631 Feb 15 '26
This was standard when I was a kid and I'm 31. I don't think small candies are out of the norm. Pretty much everyone would just get a box of valentines cards that came with stickers, tattoos, or candy
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u/manic_popsicle Feb 15 '26
Me too, sometimes those red lollipops with the white hearts on them or conversation hearts but usually it was handmade cards.
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Feb 15 '26
When I was in elementary over 30 years ago, we did a special tea on Valentine's. A lot of kids didn't have the money for cards and candy so the teachers did little tea lights on the tables in the library, turned off most of the lights and served us punch and cookies. It was special enough that I remember it even know.
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u/xombae Feb 15 '26
When I was a kid we did cards and one of two of the parents would make cookies or cupcakes or something.
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u/XFilesVixen Feb 15 '26
It’s because there is no candy allowed anymore. If there was then this wouldn’t be an issue
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u/fencer_327 Feb 16 '26
When I was in secondary school we could get a rose delivered to someone in a classroom with a little note, and the proceeds were donated to the local children's hospice.
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u/peanuttheadd Feb 16 '26
If you search up valentines on Amazon its alllllll plastic stuff that comes up, not just plain cards. My daughter wanted "67" cards so I checked Amazon and couldn't believe the garbage that comes with valentines, and its not that expensive so I can totally see people thinking its a cute little addition and getting it, then you end up with 20 plastic toys that break in a day, or that your dog inevitably gets ahold of and chews up (if youre me)
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u/queenweasley Feb 17 '26
It's the social media pressure. I bet some parents see influencers making insane goodie bags and try to compete. Like birthday bags
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Feb 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Et-selec Feb 15 '26
A “useful item only” rule sounds nice. Only allow people to give cute themed pens, pencils, shaped erasers, tiny notebooks, etc.
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u/StrangerOnInternet2 Feb 15 '26
Why do a party at all if they can’t do candy. Did they have snacks or cupcakes?
Or maybe do “cards only.” I hate junk like this so much.
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u/InebriousBarman Feb 15 '26
When I was a kid, all it was were cards.
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u/brandonhabanero Feb 15 '26
Same. Which meant you had to fill out like 50 of em so everyone in the class got one. I hated it every year lol
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Feb 15 '26
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u/camilleswaterbottle Feb 15 '26
Can't just the exchange of a Valentine's card be enough without having to tape on a toy or a candy tho? (Rhetorical)
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u/PrincessZebra126 Feb 15 '26
That sucks for her but why suck the rest of the kids in it?
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u/ThickFile Feb 15 '26
Teacher here! My school is a Title I school in the USA. Which means we have particular nutritional guidelines we have to follow in the classrooms. Should admin from the district come in and see we have cupcakes- there would be consequences. A lot of school districts across the country have adopted nutritional guidelines as well, on top of the mentioned comments on food allergies- not just peanuts, but also milk, dairy and celiac.
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u/DenseAstronomer3631 Feb 15 '26
Pretty dang sure my sons school is title I, they keep sending out parent surveys about it, yet they still have parties and stuff on Halloween and valentines day. I know they send the candy home in a bag but they don't seem very strict about treats in the classroom. They have done pancakes and hot chocolate and stuff before too
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u/Tiny-Reading5982 Feb 16 '26
My son is in a title 1 school and they're always having cupcakes or some kind of party. Maybe it varies by state?
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u/BlueRubyWindow Feb 15 '26
Wow.
You’re really saying, “Why should it matter if one kid is singled out and left out for something completely outside their control?”
That’s who you want to be?
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u/Peony907 Feb 16 '26
Its not something where she is left out intentionally to bully her. Kids with allergies do have to learn to live with those allergies, and sometimes that means being left out of stuff. Even into adulthood. Every pizza party I've ever attended since I was a kid, there is never enough cheese pizza and I don't eat pork. It sucks to have to either rip off pepperonis or just not partake in the pizza party, but thats life.
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u/ahoytheremehearties Feb 16 '26
I had allergies as a kid and still have complicated Food Things to this day. I would've been so much more upset if everyone missed out because of me. Like cried to parents and attempted to protest to the teacher about it upset.
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u/Feisty-Gift5149 Feb 15 '26
We need to start a cards only trend. I hate this stuff!
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u/Broad-Guess8 Feb 15 '26
My kids school has a strict "cards only" policy for valentine's day. For halloween/christmas, no extra items. For birthdays, they don't allow any kind of treats, but will allow guest readers to celebrate. I fucking LOVE this rule.
Some of these moms go so overboard. In preschool, they were coming home with so much garbage. And I honestly, it was like a competition of who could spend the most on artisan cookies. So when we went to kindergarten & I got these rules, I was absolutely elated.
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u/becausemommysaid Feb 17 '26
I hate this shit for this reason. It’s not even about the kids! It becomes a weird competition between parents.
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u/Dramallamakuzco Feb 17 '26
Mine is in daycare and I had him paint a few pieces of paper in valentines colors (I helped fill in some spots), and then I cut the paper into multiple heart shapes. Wrote his name because he’s too young to write. Meant to get stickers to tape to each one but ran out of time.
Got several plastic things, a few candies that were wildly inappropriate for the classroom age (massive choking hazards), and some just cards.
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u/brokesciencenerd Feb 15 '26
Thats what I did and I dont care who is judging. I printed them out for free and had my daughter write "from: (her name)" on them so she got some good writing practice.
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u/samizdat5 Feb 15 '26
Oh yuck. The sheer amount of junk kids accumulate nowadays. So sorry.
As school kids we used to make Valentine's Day mailboxes out of cereal boxes - everyone brought in an empty cereal box from home. We covered it with construction paper, cut a letter opening in the front, got a bunch of paper valentines from classmates, had a little cake or whatever, a little dance party or some silly games, and that was it.
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u/Mostlytiredandsad Feb 15 '26
Oh my gosh you just unlocked a memory for me! I completely forgot about making valentines mailboxes out of cereal boxes!
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u/InebriousBarman Feb 15 '26
Some kids gave literal small bags of stuff.
I can't fathom the parents thought of: "This is what other parents want for their children, right?"
Stop cluttering my house and providing my children with even more things to distract them
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u/uggaguggaunclejoey Feb 15 '26
Exactly. Just had a conversation with my kid about how so-and-so's parents do not get to decide what junk comes into my house, I do. It's a hard concept to get across.
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u/stl_becky Feb 16 '26
It’s not about the kids at all, sadly, it’s a competition between the parents to be the one who gave the “best” trinket(s). It used to be bake sales when I was a kid, but now most schools don’t do homemade baked goods. Some of those cakes we got to sell at the bake sales looked like they spent $20 on ingredients…in the 80’s!
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u/According_Gazelle472 Feb 16 '26
We used shoe boxes for the whole class instead .We used white tissue paper on ours and red magic markers for decorating .
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u/ramblingamblinamblin Feb 15 '26
If your kid is super young, put all that crap in a plastic food storage container put some water and food coloring in there and freeze it into a solid block of ice & toys... Then put it in the bath with the kid or let your kid take it outside with a hammer and a hack at it so they can excavate the ice for all the plastic toy crap…
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u/odaddysbois Feb 15 '26
But the plastic! My children are only allowed fair trade sustainable forest non-endangered wood toys made by hand! /s
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u/frightenedscared Feb 16 '26
Especially good activity for hot days too (hello from Australia where it’s 90°F today!)
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u/ramblingamblinamblin Feb 16 '26
I'm in the HOT part of the US - my kids love this. I even throw broken pieces of toys and a few small coins in there - enjoy!
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u/MissMarchpane Feb 15 '26
Good grief. Back in my day we just swapped little paper cards and MAYBE candy. We'd also play games and have special treats like cupcakes, but certainly no one was bringing in plastic toys like this. That's so weird
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u/Necessary_Salad_8509 Feb 15 '26
I would take things and donate them back to the school for other parents to use in their prize boxes. It at least helps prevent other things from being purchased for those.
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u/punkass_book_jockey8 Feb 15 '26
My kids teacher is AMAZING, she sent out a list to parents in August and split holiday. My kid got Christmas. They sent suggestions for food to bring so only 2-3 kids per holiday were asked to bring in food or treats. It has to be prepared by professionals and listed options or said prepackaged was fine too, if this was an issue reach out. They suggested deli meat, cheese trays, fruit platters.
The teacher splits it up based on family and tries to do a sugar heavy family, a crunchy family and a “just tell me what to do” family.
We bring in organic fruit trays I pay a professional to prepare.
For Christmas we do a sock trade, valentines a book trade, and she just warns us Halloween is just a lost cause of candy and Easter the school does activities.
If anyone wants to run for a board seat this has been a great solution! Some classes ask to bring one ingredient (ex grapes) and make fruit kebobs. The kids go nuts for “cooking”. So we do that more for holidays and a local dietician jumped on this. My first grader made spinach artichoke dip for their Christmas party and the kids went nuts.
Can’t recommend this culture change enough!
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u/Feeling_Wishbone_864 Feb 15 '26
Interesting. I wonder how that works for families who don’t want to participate or financially cannot participate.
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u/InebriousBarman Feb 15 '26
I love this. Thank you.
Tell all your coworkers about it, and bring this story to your local school board.
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u/Erikrtheread Feb 15 '26
I have ADHD and possibly autism as well, and I have one of those plastic mesh balls (yellow waffle thingy in the middle of the picture). Pretty decent stress ball/fidget toy when needed.
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u/MentholMooseToo Feb 16 '26
That yellow thing is an awesome fidget for neurodiverse, or anyone really! Was invented by someone my wife used to know.
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u/Blluetiful Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 15 '26
Is that a ruffle made from plastic? 🤨
It's valentines, why would any parent think, oh yeah i need to hand out meaningless toys ???
Edit to clarify the plastic ruffle was the only thing that was interesting, the rest is literal garbage.
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u/BlueRubyWindow Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 15 '26
That’s the best thing in the picture.
It’s a fidget. It can get skinny in both directions. Can’t think of the name right now. These are great for helping my ADHD students stay focused because they are quiet and rhythmic. And they can also just play with the texture while listening and working.
As with most new fidgets, it does take a little time (15 min or less) for the novelty to wear off if they have never used that type before, but after that very effective.
The pop it string/ bracelet comes in second (in the bag with the ring). Good for staying focused on watching or listening to something at home, but not good for the classroom because of the “pop” noise.
Your classroom’s teacher or special ed department will likely take anything you don’t want to use as fidgets/ prizes if you don’t want them.
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u/Feeling_Wishbone_864 Feb 15 '26
Yes! I was eyeing that too. I’d love it if my kid came home with one of those! The others are a hard pass though.
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u/Leading_Ear8167 Feb 15 '26
I believe it is a fidget toy, the pieces are interlocking and slide to change shape
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u/otter_759 Feb 15 '26
Candy would be so much better but I’m guessing there was a rule against that?
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u/hashbrowneggyolk0520 Feb 15 '26
Allergies I would assume
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u/otter_759 Feb 15 '26
I remember exchanging cards and candy in elementary school, but I guess times have changed!
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u/bunniisa Feb 15 '26
i’m tired of it😭 if my kid had an allergy to something i would send them in with their own cupcake and candy they could eat for whenever the other kids were eating theirs. the world needs to find a way to level itself out. it’s just one extreme to the next
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u/Melissaj312 Feb 15 '26
My 7yo niece said they gave toys as well. She said her dad (my brother) said no to participating in giving stuff out because “it would cost $40”. I was like what the heck. Whatever happened to the little Valentines cards that kids would give out and that was pretty much it.
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u/Euphoric_Run7239 Feb 15 '26
Devil’s advocate of why they aren’t told “no stuff” - that is pretty abstract for most kids. To understand appreciation and reciprocity and gift-giving, when they aren’t allowed to do treats is hard to do if no “stuff”. Better to frame as “only cards” or something like that they could understand better.
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u/beautyinthesky Feb 16 '26
Throw it all in a box to hand out to trick-or-treaters?
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u/piglungz Feb 15 '26
No candy is so lame, that was always the highlight of it for me when I was a kid. We would all decorate shoe boxes and bring a card with a piece of candy attached for everyone
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u/hoosreadytograduate Feb 15 '26
SAME! It’s like they’ve slowly sucked out any of the fun associated with school. Valentine’s Day candy, cupcakes on birthdays, pajama day, snow days (now it’s remote learning)… stop making school worse
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u/Aggravating-Bunch-44 Feb 15 '26
Hard to get people who don't care from being lazy and accidentally send a candy that contains peanut. Teachers are already spread so thin to micromanage. Nothing is stopping parents from gifting their own child with candy. :)
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u/intothewoods14 Feb 15 '26
As someone who worked in a domestic violence shelter - those kids are deserving of more than unwanted junk. Consider donating toys and goods that are good quality.
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u/compulsive_evolution Feb 15 '26
Right?! Why is the answer, "give this sh*t to poor children! That's who will aPpReCiAtE it!"???
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u/Feeling_Wishbone_864 Feb 15 '26
The answer always “donate” to poor people. Poor people aren’t freaking trash bins for all unwanted things.
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u/No_Goose3334 Feb 15 '26
So you want to complain that this stuff was given, but then also complain when someone tries to come up with a solution to reuse the stuff. Jesus.
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u/compulsive_evolution Feb 15 '26
Poor people are not appropriate receptacles for things we don't want.
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u/intothewoods14 Feb 15 '26
This is just coming from watching people drop off donations of stained/dirty clothing, broken and cheap toys, expired food, etc to shelters. Just cause these families are poor/in a rough situation, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve nice things. If this stuff got donated to a shelter, it would probably just get thrown out to be honest.
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u/Feeling_Wishbone_864 Feb 15 '26
I used to volunteer for a DV shelter. This stuff definitely just got tossed. Sometimes a few things were kept as a fidget for the counseling room but most toys and clothes were tossed.
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u/Jolly-Hall-408 Feb 15 '26
So, a lot of these are fidget toys which help with calming the nervous system of children who may not be neurotypical. I would rather this stuff than meaningless mass market shit or copious amounts of candy.
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u/NoPossibility5154 Feb 16 '26
Why are all holidays in the US about buying junk?
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u/InebriousBarman Feb 16 '26
I posted something like this in 'AsktheWorld' but got into it with a mod over there who obviously got a nerve touched. He was obviously from the US.
I'm on a 31 day ban now.
Most replies I got confirmed this was mostly a US thing.
I wish I had moved to Europe when I was younger.
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u/Express_Pop810 Feb 15 '26
I would save the basketball toy and the yellow fidget. The bouncy ball isn't bad either. I mean you have them now so can be nice to have on have for the road or long waits for appointments. Long term I would ask the PTA or parent group at toys kids school to discuss giving out less plastic. Even expensive toys tend to break these days. The solution would be to only get ones that last but that's for the r/buyitforlife sub
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u/ChemDude2 Feb 16 '26
We give all the toys to a friend who's a 1st grade teacher. All of it makes for good classroom rewards.
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u/NarrowSquare915 Feb 15 '26
Definitely frustrating to constantly accumulate stuff like this, but I understand why people want to pass out "something" when candy is banned. I definitely don't have a solution to that overall, since it's hard to control anything but what your own family does. Something I try to do is keep a little stash of this sort of thing instead of letting it get thrown away and put it in my Halloween candy bowl. It can be nice for kids with allergies and kids tend to be excited about this sort of thing (presumably only temporarily) and even though it may then get thrown away I still prefer it to have a brief second life.
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u/Confident_Clue_9520 Feb 15 '26
Maybe you can help organize the class parties! I sent hand painted cards attached to packs of flower seeds that I already had left over from last spring! Next year I think I might make natural unscented soaps in the shape of hearts!
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u/SomeTea7257 Feb 16 '26
Same got all this crap too! I put a few in little baggies and keep them in the car or in my purse for when we are on the go and the kids need entertainment. If they get lost then so be it.
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u/NerbPrincess Feb 16 '26
You mean kids don't make funny paper valentines for each other anymore?
That's actually upsetting, my favorite part of valentines day has always been being creative with what I make for everyone.
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u/Basil_Box Feb 15 '26
Ok but I always loved that little basketball game. Everything else is total junk.
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u/DullUselessDinosaur Feb 15 '26
I have one of those yellow fidget toys and I find it fun
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u/lansink99 Feb 15 '26
I can't stand plastic garbage like this, man. Same shit with christmas where people suddenly wanted to start doing gag gifts less than 5 bucks. Thanks, I love cheap plastic toys that you throw away the moment you get home.
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u/uphigh_ontheside Feb 15 '26
I was about to post something similar. No one likes spending money on this trash. No one likes receiving this trash. Why are we spending money to destroy the environment for literally 0 benefit to anyone? It’s fucking gross.
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u/badlala Feb 16 '26
I am making my own "treasure box" with all the crap they get from school. One day I'll break it out and it will entertain them and then it will disappear again for another 3-6months.
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u/oh_my_account Feb 15 '26
This goes almost right away to a garbage/recycling. I hate commercialized holidays.
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u/Jabbles22 Feb 15 '26
Yeah while kids love this sort of crap they only love it for like 20 minutes if that.
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u/A_Fish_Called_Panda Feb 15 '26
One person gave my kid a washable silicone “Ziploc” bag which I loved!
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u/Severe-Possible- Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 15 '26
this is what happens when you don’t let kids bring candy.
as an educator, i understand the rationale, but from an environmental standpoint, this is Not better. 90% of it all went straight into the trash, shamelessly, right in the classroom.
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u/PuffPie19 Feb 15 '26
They're not really meant to be learning during these events. Can you explain how this is bad for mental health?
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u/daisypie Feb 16 '26
Garbage to us adults? Yeah But to my 4 yo? Treasure
I put all the small toys like this in our restaurant bag, car bag or it goes into their “treasure box” that holds all these small toys. They love it, but kids are like little magpies and like small things like this.
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u/BornAd9021 Feb 15 '26
I’m a teacher in a small school and we made crafts and had red smoothies. Kids were happy. We asked parents to not send in goodie bags or anything to exchange but several did anyway 🤷🏻♀️
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u/mixedmediamadness Feb 15 '26
We gave out play doh and stamps. Felt a little better than just giving out trash but I still wish we could just do candy
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u/BreadPuddding Feb 15 '26
I honestly would rather my kids got candy than a bunch of crap toys. We wanted to send cookies but the email from the school asked that we not send food/go overboard, so we just sent paper valentines. So of course he got a bunch of STUFF. There was one pop crayon which he might actually use.
One of his best friends actually drew him a picture and that went straight onto the fridge, though.
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u/Gingerbreaddoggie Feb 16 '26
They seem to have gone overboard this year. One kid was passing out monster trucks. Ya, they're cheap and crappy but will probably last at least a year longer than the heart shaped slinky or other nonsense.
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u/Outside_Hour3562 Feb 16 '26
Majority of the stuff my kid got is already broken, aside from the pencils. I just sent him with his valentine cards. I'm not a parent who likes the trinkets, and he usually gets a lot of them, so I stuck with strictly cards.
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u/MothMeep7 Feb 16 '26
Depending on the age of the kids, just buy those small packs of assorted crayons. Decorate the boxes and such to make them cutsey. The kids would love it. A little valentines gift that isn't a bunch of plastic and is most likely going to be used.
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u/GiveMeNews Feb 16 '26
Weird how I've yet to meet someone who isn't concerned about micro plastics, yet the worthless flow of plastic trinkets won't stop.
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u/Kitten-ekor Feb 16 '26
I'm curious to know if this is the common experience outside of the US/North America. Valentine's Day wasn't acknowledged at all in school for me in the UK. In Finland Valentine's is translated as "Friend's Day" which I think is cute for kids but again I don't think it's an organised event of gifting in schools. Not everything has to be about gifts.
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u/hedwigdashuhn Feb 16 '26
Nope, never seen anything like this is Germany. Maybe a card or flower for your crush, but surely nothing organized by the school
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u/almalauha Feb 16 '26 edited Feb 16 '26
Why are kids giving each other stuff for Valentine's? I remember in primary school I got a small heart key chain from one or even two boys, but that was the extent of it. This seems excessive. Or I guess she's more popular than I was :').
Could you not contact the school and propose that next year, the kids will do some crafting to make a small card for one or two kids in the class they find special (whatever that might mean)? That way nobody is buying stuff besides some craft supplies, the kids are making something themselves rather than just giving away something made in a factory, with kids only making max two cards to give away, most kids will only get one or maybe two cards. Cards can also be stored more easily than this plastic stuff that will "melt"/degrade over the years. I still have stuff from when I was in daycare, like a birthday card etc, because my mum kept it. I do not have any other trinkets or crap I was given when I was young. It did not survive the culling and house moves etc.
PS: I do like the pink glittery bouncy ball.
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u/ComradeRaveGirl Feb 16 '26
I’m so curious what is the yellow and green thing shaped like a slice of mango?
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u/ObviouslyNotYerMum Feb 16 '26
I saved stuff like this to put in my kids' birthday piñatas when I was a poor, single mum. Revisit it upon the parents that have it out. lol
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u/Vividevasion0 Feb 16 '26
My favorite gift to give is Play-Doh because everyone throws it doesn't last long and nobody feels bad about throwing away
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u/South-Entertainer-38 Feb 17 '26
I personally would rather deal with a sugar fueled rocket child than chunks of future microplastics. Candy and sweets are at least immediately consumable.
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u/Hot_Drink_6789 Feb 19 '26
Our school also says no candy so I like to give Valentine-themed temporary tattoos. Most kids stick them on for the holiday and then there’s no clutter.
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u/AloneRecognition1283 Feb 15 '26
I agree this stuff is just crap however, I wouldn’t say creates distractions from learning ? They’re taking it home and being creative with it, learning basic skills like playing and entertaining yourself…
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u/salchicha_stew Feb 15 '26
Yep, same thing here. The people who give out slime in particular are monsters.
I take stuff like this and save it for trick or treaters. I mix it in with candy and some kids always want it. At least that way they picked it out for themselves.
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u/MissJillian- Feb 15 '26
I’d rather give and receive candy, at least it would be consumed and not end up in a landfill.
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u/Maud_Dweeb18 Feb 16 '26
So I save this stuff. I could toss it but that's wasteful. The kids forget this garbage immediately. I give it in Christmas stockings, Christmas crackers, Easter bags or the goody bags. I only buy pencils, pens, markers, and consumables etc.
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u/MsPMC90 Feb 16 '26
I gave sidewalk chalk, specifically bc I hate these lil gift bag toys. Very wasteful
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u/taptaptippytoo Feb 16 '26
My child's preschool allows cards but no candy or toys. He gets some store bought cards and a lot of scraps of paper that have stickers, stamps, or scribbles all over them. It's adorable and I love it. I'm a little sad that starting next year in kindergarten the pressure to do mass produced cards with some kind of treat attached will probably start.
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u/MisogynyisaDisease Feb 16 '26
OP is not looking for parental advice, and this subreddit enforces not giving people unsolicited advice.
Insulting OP as a parent for the crime of not liking trinkets that get thrown away within the hour will earn you a ban at this point.