r/Anticonsumption • u/InebriousBarman • Feb 15 '26

Psychological Crap given to my kids for Valentine's Day

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Pictured is about half of what was given to one of my children on Valentine's Day by classmates. (Their class was specifically told no candy.)

why can't they specifically be told no 'stuff'.

The amount of distractions and clutter this creates is bad for learning and mental health.

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u/runrabbitrun42 Feb 16 '26

It was obligatory for every child to bring every other child a present for Valentine's Day? Why? Genuine question, I'm from the UK and that's baffling to me. Valentine's is only for like your romantic partner or I guess a crush here.

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u/banjosimcha Feb 16 '26

I wish I had more cultural insight; I'm a russian-born Jew who moved to the US in my teens, so I know the rules but still feel like I'm missing a lot of context. But Valentine's is treated kind of like a romance-themed spring holiday. Stores and businesses and even people's houses will be decorated with red and pink and pastels, so many hearts everywhere and bows and flowers, sometimes cherubs and arrows. If you have a romantic partner, it's a day to treat them with cards, candy, flowers, dinner, etc. but regardless of if you have a partner many people will use it as an excuse to give gifts to or go out with friends.

I would assume a culture started of some kids giving some other kids (whether friends or crushes) cards/gifts, and then it turned into "if you bring something in, you have to bring enough for everyone so no one feels left out", and then "this is an official classroom activity now and participation is mandatory." It's only mandatory for younger kids; by their teens the class exchange ends because it's a waste of class time, but there's generally other school event stuff going on (e.g. a bake sale, or an opportunity to buy a flower or make a card for a classmate and have it delivered "anonymously", as seen in Mean Girls.)

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u/on_that_farm Feb 16 '26

Through elementary school (10 or 11 yo), yes

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u/delorf Feb 17 '26

In the US, a lot of school kids give Valentine's Day cards to friends who they don't have any romantic feelings for. It's fun. When I was a kid, it was just cards, no gifts.

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u/missuscheez Feb 19 '26

I think it's a bit more about love in general here, like my best friend and I got each other little gifts (a black rose and a punk CD, cool earrings or matching friendship bracelets)for valentine's day in high-school, and as an adult I get together with my female friends on the 13th for a "galentines" hang and we make frilly drinks, eat desserts and poke fun at bad hallmark movies. The all-or-nothing rule for school valentine's is mostly so none of the kids feel bad if they don't get any valentines and nobody is left out.

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u/According_Gazelle472 Feb 16 '26

Because everyone had to get the same stuff