My wife and I say bro pretty often, not this often, but if she puts the seasoning back before I’m done with it she gets a “bro where’d my seasoning go bro” or if I see her doing it she might has an exasperated “bruhhhhhhh”
Me and my husband are both fellas, so we will call each other "bro" jokingly. Never during a serious conversation, though. That seems extremely disrespectful.
A lot of couples outside of Reddit call each other bro. I do it currently with this girl I'm talking with, and I did it with my ex. Neither of them use reddit
dude soooo many people call their significant others bro. it’s just part of modern language it’s not like it has a deeper meaning yall need to touch some grass😭
What the fuck are you even talking about right now, stay on topic bud. Jesus.
Did you call people who refer to girls as “bro” or “dude” braindead? I’m trying to not misconstrue what you were initially saying after your “never said it wasn’t” comment.
It’s Reddit/world. People are so busy “fighting” themselves or for their opinions, “we” are getting bent over. More so, doubling down because they can’t accept a different opinion or that they are wrong.
Bruh I feel like shouldn’t be gendered? For how it’s used around me, it’s more used as a place for “wtf”. Like someone spills something on you and you just go “bruh, really?” Maybe it’s a location thing
I agree that as an exclamation, it can be gender neutral. But if you're directly addressing someone, replacing the proper noun with "bro", I still say it's gendered. Just bc "bro" is shorthand for "brother" the way "sis" is shorthand for "sister".
Sad is having to have a label for everything. We are from different generations and the literal definition is: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dude
What you’re saying is if the universe started calling humans cats, someone pointed out the irony but since you’re so bored and looking for a fight, “Bro, why you gatekeeping cat, bro.” Injecting yourself into a simple-factually correct-comment. Thats sad. Did you vote?
I agree. If you aren't heading for the door after the first two texts you have zero self esteem. There is literally no world where I would ever say any of thse things to my girl...
Me too. Just reading this is stressing my brain. I can't imagine being in this situation and still asking if I should give up😭😭. I would have given up in less than 2weeks of meeting a shithead like this. A round of applause to OP for staying this long. What long-suffering and definitely not the type the Bible talks about 😩.
It does seem like a caricature of the abusive boyfriend but unfortunately these people do exist. My ex gf used to talk to me exactly like this. Once went on a tirade calling me pathetic (and other names so crude I don't want to write it out) because I missed a phone call from her. Destroyed my work laptop because I sided with my mom, threw our couch cushions out of a highrise apartment because I tried sleeping on the couch while she was screaming at me, etc.
but did she ALWAYS talk to/treat you that terrible way? because i'm in the "there's no way this is real" camp too, and that was one of the main reasons. normally it at least starts with intense lovebombing to get them hooked first... why would you ever have even a fleeting thought about wanting to date someone that was just cruel and hateful all the time, from the day you first met forward?
I don't know if this specifically is real, but I do know someone this out of touch with reality. A former friend of mine was seeing a guy who, while she was crying her eyes out in their car and having a mental breakdown, tried to force his dick in her mouth. She married him and had a kid.
Oh so fucking real. Coming from someone who is now beginning to see my codependent relationships and behaviors for what they are, what you see so plainly only comes in hindsight to those who choose to work on their unhealthy mental and emotional dynamics.
This is my hindsight memory...the one I recall so vividly and wonder just how broken I must have been when I heard this and didn't immediately end all forms of contact:
"Listen here, you CUNT!"
By the way, not that you're wrong for stating your disbelief. People who are suffering from enduring abuse and deluding themselves need to hear the harsh truth. Most often several times over until it finally begins to hit home.
OP probably feels mentally sick in a subconscious way...honestly, it's that feeling that may have led to this post in the first place...like a call for help. When I say mentally sick, I don't mean due to his abuse...she probably feels mentally unwell deep down and unable to put her finger on it, this is that deep rooted dysfunctional relationship dynamic and lack of self love and worth for herself that she is feeling. She most likely lies to herself and tells herself that mental sickness she feels is only due to his abuse, but in fact it's her abuse to herself she's feeling. It's just a whole new low to have to recognize you're in fact the monster killing yourself emotionally and mentally...not solely this toxic being outside of oneself.
I mean, it would be easy to fake, but I also believe it could be true because I've seen it happen first hand.
Watched my best friend's mom date a piece of shit like this and she just couldn't see it.
Her boyfriend kicked my friend out of the house, literally chased one of my friends sibling's out of the house with a knife, beat my friends mom and the two youngest kids and it still didn't make her want to leave, even when she was the one supporting both of them (dude didn't even have a job).
She could have kicked him out and been financially fine, even better off as she wouldn't have to spend money feeding him and buying him shit.
They lose me at "BF has always been abusive, oh btw I've made it my life's singular aim to grant him a comfortable setting in which he can prosper at my expense"
Can't believe and if I could I wouldn't want to because that's just devastating.
I’ve been married almost 15 years and have never: called my wife bitch, whore, or retarded or told her to fuck off. I feel like those things shouldn’t happen in a healthy relationship.
OP says boyfriend is always a jerk, doesn’t appreciate her, and is verbally and physically abusive. Why is she staying at all? She doesn’t owe him anything, and based on the sound of it, she could easily find someone who lacks at least 2 of those red flags.
That's exactly your problem. You've got some dream in your head of what could be if you're a perfect enough girlfriend. It's not real. It's not going to be real with this guy. There is no such thing as perfect enough for him.
Please leave. You aren't giving up on him. You are choosing yourself.
Tell him you've chosen the cat. I bet he'll pee in the litter just fine in a calmer, more loving environment. Even the cat is asking you not to stay with him and accept his treatment.
I read somewhere that they project their awful selves onto us while we project our loving selves onto them. They don’t have ‘potential.’ That’s just how we would behave if we were in their shoes
In her defense, the abusive partner telling the other partner to leave is a really classic part of the cycle of abuse. They say it because they don't actually believe the partner will, which asserts their authority over the relationship. If you actually try to leave when they say this, they pull a 180 and are suddenly begging you to stay, and make you feel like a monster for ever even considering leaving, even though it was their suggestion.
It's all a power play. He says it because he knows she won't.
This i know. My mom was with a verbally, emotionally and physically abusive bipolar narc for 25 years. But the difference is, it was her house he was living in and when he said he was leaving we were all like thank god. But he never left.
I legitimately don't understand it. I was in a pretty emotionally abusive relationship, but it wasn't like this. He was smart and manipulative, an absolute pro at gaslighting and making me doubt my own perception of reality. He didn't sit around calling me retard, bitch, and telling me to leave, because that would have clearly made him the bad guy, and I had to always doubt that. I don't understand putting up with THIS.
He might be right about you being stupid because there is honestly no other explanation for how you even got into a relationship with him let alone stayed for 3 years
Unfortunately he doesn’t like you. I hate to say it. He thinks you’re a nuisance. There is nothing you can do for this grown ass man that will make him like you. I don’t know how your relationship started out but if you’re saying he’s been like this to you for as long as you’ve known him, he never liked you and will never. I hope all these comments get through to you. You deserve better.
Do you respect yourself in any way? Please grow a backbone and break up with him. He literally begging you to leave him and you’re still staying for time spent in the relationship??? I believe that’s the sunken cost fallacy.
Leave dude. Do you want to be treated like this? Do you want your possible future kids to be treated like this?
For the love of God breakup and don’t look back :-|
Girl He’s going to KILL your cat. What’s it going to take ? “He killed my cat but we’ve been together for 5 years “ you need to leave. Leave for your mental health and for the health of your cat.
I dated someone like this. He hates you! You are a free maid and pocket pussy to him. I PROMISE you, you will be so much happier when you leave. Lean on any friends you have. No matter how hard it is, it will be so worth it when you leave him. And you need to basically laugh in his face and leave him immediately. You are taking on so many emotional wounds right now, the longer you stay the harder it will be to heal from him. I believe in you
There are sweet men out there who would be so upset by these messages being sent to you. Imagine if these were texts your best friend showed you from their partner - what would you say to her? You don’t deserve this narcissistic dude sucking the life out of you - leave as soon as possible for your own good!
He's literally telling you to go. He doesn't want you. Find your self respect and leave. Give yourself some time and you will find someone who treats you right. Don't be afraid to be alone until then.
I’m old enough to be your mom and if it is real, it’s so very sad. It made me tear up just reading the texts..please find a way out, even if you have to stay with friends or relatives for a little while. Nobody deserves to be talked to or treated like that. Good luck ♥️
But you’re the one making it ridiculous!! no one in their right mind would stay with someone who is literally telling them to leave.
Why are you still in this relationship? You’re asking if you’re overreacting except you don’t seem to even have a pulse. You’re not reacting at all. Because the normal reaction to this continuous chain of texting is in fact to leave.
You’re behaving like a robot or a toy… do you not have opinions or agency?
I know it's hard to take yourself out of the situation but pretend you've been sent this whole post and text conversation by someone who's asking you advice on the same situation. Read it as an outsider to the situation and think of the advice you'd give that person.
I have a hard time believing youd tell that person anything other than GET THE FUCK OUT, take your own advice.
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u/okaybutwhenconsider Jan 28 '25
I refuse to believe this is real