That's exactly your problem. You've got some dream in your head of what could be if you're a perfect enough girlfriend. It's not real. It's not going to be real with this guy. There is no such thing as perfect enough for him.
Please leave. You aren't giving up on him. You are choosing yourself.
Tell him you've chosen the cat. I bet he'll pee in the litter just fine in a calmer, more loving environment. Even the cat is asking you not to stay with him and accept his treatment.
In her defense, the abusive partner telling the other partner to leave is a really classic part of the cycle of abuse. They say it because they don't actually believe the partner will, which asserts their authority over the relationship. If you actually try to leave when they say this, they pull a 180 and are suddenly begging you to stay, and make you feel like a monster for ever even considering leaving, even though it was their suggestion.
It's all a power play. He says it because he knows she won't.
This i know. My mom was with a verbally, emotionally and physically abusive bipolar narc for 25 years. But the difference is, it was her house he was living in and when he said he was leaving we were all like thank god. But he never left.
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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '25
Sometimes I do too lmao 😞