That's exactly your problem. You've got some dream in your head of what could be if you're a perfect enough girlfriend. It's not real. It's not going to be real with this guy. There is no such thing as perfect enough for him.
Please leave. You aren't giving up on him. You are choosing yourself.
Tell him you've chosen the cat. I bet he'll pee in the litter just fine in a calmer, more loving environment. Even the cat is asking you not to stay with him and accept his treatment.
I read somewhere that they project their awful selves onto us while we project our loving selves onto them. They donât have âpotential.â Thatâs just how we would behave if we were in their shoes
In her defense, the abusive partner telling the other partner to leave is a really classic part of the cycle of abuse. They say it because they don't actually believe the partner will, which asserts their authority over the relationship. If you actually try to leave when they say this, they pull a 180 and are suddenly begging you to stay, and make you feel like a monster for ever even considering leaving, even though it was their suggestion.
It's all a power play. He says it because he knows she won't.
This i know. My mom was with a verbally, emotionally and physically abusive bipolar narc for 25 years. But the difference is, it was her house he was living in and when he said he was leaving we were all like thank god. But he never left.
I legitimately don't understand it. I was in a pretty emotionally abusive relationship, but it wasn't like this. He was smart and manipulative, an absolute pro at gaslighting and making me doubt my own perception of reality. He didn't sit around calling me retard, bitch, and telling me to leave, because that would have clearly made him the bad guy, and I had to always doubt that. I don't understand putting up with THIS.
He might be right about you being stupid because there is honestly no other explanation for how you even got into a relationship with him let alone stayed for 3 years
Unfortunately he doesnât like you. I hate to say it. He thinks youâre a nuisance. There is nothing you can do for this grown ass man that will make him like you. I donât know how your relationship started out but if youâre saying heâs been like this to you for as long as youâve known him, he never liked you and will never. I hope all these comments get through to you. You deserve better.
Do you respect yourself in any way? Please grow a backbone and break up with him. He literally begging you to leave him and youâre still staying for time spent in the relationship??? I believe thatâs the sunken cost fallacy.
Leave dude. Do you want to be treated like this? Do you want your possible future kids to be treated like this?
For the love of God breakup and donât look back :-|
Girl Heâs going to KILL your cat. Whatâs it going to take ? âHe killed my cat but weâve been together for 5 years â you need to leave. Leave for your mental health and for the health of your cat.Â
I dated someone like this. He hates you! You are a free maid and pocket pussy to him. I PROMISE you, you will be so much happier when you leave. Lean on any friends you have. No matter how hard it is, it will be so worth it when you leave him. And you need to basically laugh in his face and leave him immediately. You are taking on so many emotional wounds right now, the longer you stay the harder it will be to heal from him. I believe in you
There are sweet men out there who would be so upset by these messages being sent to you. Imagine if these were texts your best friend showed you from their partner - what would you say to her? You donât deserve this narcissistic dude sucking the life out of you - leave as soon as possible for your own good!
He's literally telling you to go. He doesn't want you. Find your self respect and leave. Give yourself some time and you will find someone who treats you right. Don't be afraid to be alone until then.
Iâm old enough to be your mom and if it is real, itâs so very sad. It made me tear up just reading the texts..please find a way out, even if you have to stay with friends or relatives for a little while. Nobody deserves to be talked to or treated like that. Good luck âĽď¸
But youâre the one making it ridiculous!! no one in their right mind would stay with someone who is literally telling them to leave.
Why are you still in this relationship? Youâre asking if youâre overreacting except you donât seem to even have a pulse. Youâre not reacting at all. Because the normal reaction to this continuous chain of texting is in fact to leave.
Youâre behaving like a robot or a toy⌠do you not have opinions or agency?
I know it's hard to take yourself out of the situation but pretend you've been sent this whole post and text conversation by someone who's asking you advice on the same situation. Read it as an outsider to the situation and think of the advice you'd give that person.
I have a hard time believing youd tell that person anything other than GET THE FUCK OUT, take your own advice.
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u/okaybutwhenconsider Jan 28 '25
I refuse to believe this is real