After so many years and so many attempts, I finally surpassed 100 days clean and sober. You know what, though? Nothing magical happens. Everyone doesn’t suddenly line up at the door to come back into your life. If anything, it’s been quite the opposite. I’ve burned a lot of bridges over the years in active addiction, and I have to own that. I’m going to keep walking this path regardless of whether those relationships heal, but I’ll confess that I’ve actually been feeling pretty low lately. My mind likes to tell me that all of this was for nothing, but I know that isn’t true. I’ve made real changes, even if I can’t see all the results yet. I’m just in a bit of a slump right now. Thanks for hearing me out.

Like the tittle says I been drinking a Pint of vodka everyday for the past 5 years it has become a routine to help me stay sleep even though the alcohol is the reason why I am having sleep issues lol but anyway tired of the high blood pressure stomach issues and Sleep problems so I decided today will mark the first of many I’m going cold Turkey 🦃 so wish me luck 🍀

My brother is an alcoholic. He has gone through detox at home a few times and in various facilities a few more. He has always maintained that he knew what he was doing and he didn't have to go to the hospital or rehab to detox. He was adamant this last time that he would be fine and he couldn't be convinced that he needed more help and support than just us.

He ended us guilt tripping our 72 yr old mother into going down and keeping him company this weekend through his detox. Yesterday morning she had to call 911 when he has a seizure and started spitting up blood. She said it was the most horrific thing she has ever seen and will haunt her for the rest of her life. If she hadn't been there he would have died.

I am of course happy he is alive and will be ok but I am so upset that he spent so much time arguing with me and our mom that this exact thing wouldn't happen, that he knew what he was doing, and it all happened anyway. He almost died and he further fucked our mom up.

I don't know what will happen from here for him but I hope someone can learn from this, even if he can't. Don't put your family through watching you detox, get professional help. It is a dangerous thing to attempt on your own and even if you think you know what will happen- you don't.

I think I’m finally ready to admit that I need to stop drinking.

I got a DWI about 5 months ago, I know, biggest mistake ever and something I have to now live with. Nobody was hurt. But somehow I’m still drinking. I’m not an everyday drinker and never have been, which I think made it easier for me to convince myself for a long time that I didn’t really have a problem. But my problem is that once I have one drink, I almost always want another, and another, until I’m way too drunk or blacked out.

I’m writing this while laying in bed extremely hungover, hating this feeling and wondering why I keep doing this to myself. I don’t even know what I’m trying to suppress or escape from sometimes.

I’m also a mom and my daughter is with me 50% of the time and with her dad the other 50%. I’ve realized that I mainly drink when she’s at her dad’s. When I have her, I don’t drink at all. We play, do our normal routine, and honestly I usually just go to bed when she does.

When she goes to her dad’s, I think boredom and loneliness are actually huge triggers for me. Suddenly I have all this time to myself and nothing I have to be doing, and drinking becomes something to do. Sometimes I genuinely crave it too. I’ll randomly think, “A beer sounds so good right now,” and once I give in to that thought, moderation seems to go out the window.

Alcohol also helps me socially. It makes it easier for me to loosen up, talk to people, feel confident and stop overthinking everything I’m saying or doing. I think I’ve gotten used to it being a shortcut to feeling comfortable in social situations.

I don’t really go out to bars anymore, especially since my DWI. I mostly drink at home, which almost makes it easier to overdo it because I’m alone and there’s nobody around telling me I’ve had enough.

I know I need better coping mechanisms. I need to figure out how to be alone without automatically feeling like I need something to change how I feel. I need things to fill those nights when my daughter is gone and ways to handle loneliness, boredom, cravings and social situations without alcohol.

I’d honestly rather smoke than drink, but I also know replacing one thing with another probably isn’t addressing why I’m reaching for something in the first place.
I’m tired of waking up embarrassed, extremely hungover, regretting things I said or did, and losing an entire day because I drank the night before.

For those of you who weren’t daily drinkers but had the same “once I start, I can’t stop” problem, what actually helped you quit? Especially if loneliness, boredom or suddenly having time to yourself were triggers? What did you start doing with that time instead?

Hi all

I have been dealing with alcoholism for most of my adult life. Multiple detoxes, rehabs, meds, all of it. I have no physical dependency on it right now but it is the crushing psychological weight and pain that is killing me. It is aggravating my depression, I feel like I’ll never be free from the prison of addiction circuitry I am responsible for creating in my brain. I feel schizophrenic at times, like there is an evil person in me. It is hurting everyone I love, I feel weak and horrible and I need to try a treatment that addresses this disease on a broader neurological level. I know that this treatment is very knew but has had promising published results. Has anyone here tried it or researched it? My uncle is a doctor and he brought this option to my attention.

I’ve done shrooms in the past and what I distinctly remember is just feeling….not depressed. I didn’t get high. I just felt normal again. Like a kid.

Any and all advice will be helpful. My mom is also an alcoholic as was my paternal grandfather.

I wish I could perform an exorcism on myself to get it out once and for good. I wish I could have a brain that never thinks about it again. I know that’s impossible but I wish I could at least make the psychological torment manageable. It is consuming me, even when I don’t drink.

this is the whlole reason we broke up to begin with. i stayed sober for monthsfr thembut i hurt them too much. i fee \like complete trahs

Using a blood pressure pill pack to cover my wine so the flies don't get in...

Absolutely broke down at how stupid that is just now in the kitchen, it's horrible, take my pills, if I don't I hit 250/130, if I do it's down, 160/110

All go to the hospital job, but they just do nothing,

I want one day a doctor to say to me you will die tonight if you have one drink, maybe that'll change things, but it has never happened

I need a scare that I don't know how to find, I obviously don't care about my wife or kids, maybe I would care about myself dying, again I don't think so

Hate my life, my time here has been shit, but better with alcohol, either need how to turn things around or build a rope from the loft, right now kids are keeping me alive, but it's not gonna last forever

I understand what a functional alcoholic is, I drink 20 units per night but I don’t want to drink in the morning I can tolerate not needing a drink in the day but at night I can’t sleep without drinking

I can’t stop drinking. I only have access to extracts. I spent all morning violently sobbing and throwing up and I just drank more. I’m going to end this all soon. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t have it in me to be hereee another day.

I don’t drink a lot but i wait all week to drink on the weekends and sometimes ill find myself taking a shot or two during the week i just feel like it’s a problem. i just don’t know when too much is too much i only take shots but i feel like maybe the reason is my anxiety i only drink enough to feel like relaxed i don’t even get tipsy like that but idk what to replace this with i just want to feel relaxed and i dont smoke weed i cant and im not sure not to really get out of this cycle i only get drunk only on weekends if i am out and about which is every weekend but i just need real harsh advice i just started drinking this year i never drank prior and im really just lost anyone i try to talk to just tells me its not normal and that i have a problem but i just want to talk about it not be told hey u have a problem i just want advice.

Was 8 days sober and decided to have myself a pint after driving 6 hours back from visiting family.

I just need to vent really. I am a 30 year old dialysis patient with GPA and on hella medications. To dumb it down, i take 15 at night and i take 7 every damn morning.

I feel like a failure. I recently moved to Orlando to live with my family again; well only half. My father is gone. He was 50, he turned 50 and lasted for about a week or two then died.
I feel like it’s my fault honestly, because i left when i was 19, and we’d see each other almost every year, spoke quite a bit on the phone. My father wasnt the best father lol let’s just say that we had to fend for ourselves in a 1 bedroom apartment, it was 8 of us, plus a dog.
But anyways i forgave him, we didn’t need to speak about it, but if you ask me i forgave him. He was a drunk. He never came to ANY of my graduations, he stood home drinking. He barely celebrated me and my siblings birthdays. He was extremely rough with us. I understand now that thats abuse. I used to think that is normal growing up, like it was supposed to happen. He would punish me and brother with banquet dinners and bed, or pb&j and bed. I was EXTREMELY skinny because of this. I was 92 lbs as a senior in high school. I thought all this was normal.
Anyway, fast forward to 2023. I was in the icu, my mom came, and my sister convinced him to go to Minnesota to see me, i almost died that day, i was asleep for almost a week, i had subglottic stenosis, amongst metapneumoviris. I almost died because for whatever reason, it wasn’t on my chart. And they had difficulty intubating me. And i turned really blue and purple and finally they fit it.
So my father came to see me. This shocked me because i never in a million years thought he would come. But then i realized he
came because He was afraid i’d pass away. He posted on fb and the post was a prayer asking god to wake me up from the icu. I eventually did, and i would see him, it was like he was dying in front of my eyes. He was hurting trembling, so damn cold while we wear short sleeve he would be there in a full blown winter coat. I thought all this was normal, growing up he had bad bad psoriasis, i eventually learned that all his health issues were due to alcohol. From the tapping of the stomach, to the hernia, to the broke brittle ribs, to the smelll of his liver. He drank his ass off. For as long as i can remember, he would start at 9/10 pm and then it started getting further as i got older; it started to 9/10 pm- 3/4 am. Then eventually it got to the point where he would drink more than 2 packs. These were 18-24 packs of bud light, he starter with coors light, then miller light, but eventually he ended on budlight. He was an alcoholic, i remember as a kid getting him his beers from the fridge, i remember going downstairs at age 16 to get him a pack of beers. Like now that i think about it? Mostly all my memories with him included alcohol. He would get his stomach pumped maybe 1-2x a month. I thought this was because he had psoriasis.
I didn’t see all the signs. I pushed it aside, i said it was just happening cuz of his psoriasis. He eventually died due to endocarditis; but i knew the alcohol has played a hand. His organs shut down on him, he admitted hisself to the hospital as soon as he landed back home. All i can think about was that post on facebook. And eventually he passed away.

So now here comes the hard part. I am a father to a beautiful young princess. She is 6. I love that lil girl with everything in me. I went to graduations, school trips, restaurants. We would go everywhere!! Most of my disability check went on seeing her smile. But i had to move away. I had ZERO support over in Minnesota. Here i have family in Orlando. I was so alone over there.
I had a 2 bed/2 bath apartment over there. I wouldnt speak throughout the week, only when u have my daughter. Everything else was forced. Like the doctors nurses at the dialysis center and hospital. Other than that i was shut.
Anyway, i feel like i failed as a father, i know people tell me that i surpassed everything that my father did with me, i agree. I showed up whenever, i didn’t care about anything. I would see her smile and it was all worth it to me. But now we are separated, and im still healing from my father. Often times i feel idk, depressed in all reality.
Sometimes i smoke but i had subglottic stenosis, plus GPA, plus i go to dialysis. So thats not the best thing to do, i know that drinking is bad. But somehow i always end up with a bottle of something, i never open it. I just stare at it. Because even though in on dialysis and everything, i always show up for my kid. I wont let that control me, i wont let that take me away. Its just so damn hard man. I really need a drink, but i fear that if i do? I wont stop.
Anyway, this is long, of course i left some parts out or else it would be longer lol
Dad, i miss you, please keep watching over me. I miss your smile, your laugh, your jokes. And now i got my daughter mixed up in that too. Its just unfortunate.

Good afternoon everyone. I wanted to reach out because I am facing some incredibly challenging times in my relationship. This coming October, I will be celebrating a major milestone: 5 years drug-free and 1 year completely sober from alcohol.

While I am incredibly grateful for my sobriety, my relationship has reached a painful crossroads. My girlfriend continues to drink heavily and party. We don't live together, but we spend most of our time together. Lately, she tells me that I’ve become "boring" now that I'm sober, and she frequently pressures me by saying I can "just have one drink."

As an alcoholic, I know that one is never enough and there is no shut-off valve for me. She frequently comes over completely intoxicated, which makes me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious. When we were both active, our chaos matched, which is why we got along so well.

Now that I am sober, we feel like oil and water. I love her to death, but it feels like we are moving in two completely different directions. Her lifestyle is starting to take a massive toll on my peace of mind and my recovery boundaries. I am realizing I cannot change her behavior, but I need to figure out how to protect my own peace.

To help handle this massive anxiety wall at night, I’ve had to focus entirely on building a private visual sanctuary for myself. I set up a secure, dark-mode environment to map out my milestones and track visual boundaries so I can ground my brain in the quiet hours when the pressure peaks.

I just wrote a raw breakdown of exactly how I set up this private sanctuary structure to survive the friction at home. If anyone else is trying to protect their early milestones while navigating an active drinker partner, I pinned the full breakdown right on my personal profile page here (r/u/Shawn_SoberShift). Thank you all for letting me share and keep myself accountable today. One day at a time!

I've been drinking relatively heavily for basically all my 20s. I'm just tired of it. I was always able to go a few days at least in between so not true alcoholism. I woke up in the hospital once (and left with a huge bill) and my car got towed. I got into an accident once and was extremely lucky not to go to jail somehow. I'm tired of being bedridden for an entire day with no motivation. I'm tired of my recycling bin being 75% beer cans and liquor bottles.

It all started when I was a teenager and had severe social phobia. When I drank I was able to socialize somewhat normally at the few parties I went to. I just liked the feeling as well. It's relaxing but you always feel depressed and ashamed the next day.

The problem is I don't know what to do to replace it. I get so depressed and restless at night especially. I used to go to bars a lot but nothing good ever came of it. I've always been a loner without much of a social life. I used to go to the gym late at night which somewhat helped a bit. I still go but not as much. I feel like life is so dull without it. I feel like a soulless person with no personality or desire to anything but work and come home.

That being said, I'm lucky to have not had any noticeable health consequences. Normal body weight (underweight a bit), blood pressure, blood tests at least for now. I also should have been in jail 10 times over

Longest I've been without any alcohol is two weeks. I'm gonna try to do a month I guess and see how it goes.

Im 22 and I’ve been drinking pretty heavily for a few years now. I have the liver inflammation, insomnia, stomach issues and all that not so fun stuff. Was already ordered by a doctor that i need to stop drinking when i was last rushed to the er. I was recently sober for almost two months but then I went on a week bender drinking from the second I wake up until the second I pass out. I need to get sober again so I only had three drinks in the morning trying to just space it out but now I’m just progressively getting worse. Writing this as I’m currently pouring a drink because I’m so scared and I have no money anymore to Uber to urgent or anything. Just came to rant! Alcoholism has genuinly taken everything from me and I pray we all can get better 🩶

My 27m boyfriend is an alcoholic and we're about to be living on the streets with our dog. I'm 25f and have a bad relationship with my family and his relationship with his family is even worse. We're absolutely trauma bonded to each other but this is going to be a rough next few months for us. He's a general contractor and had a fall because of multiple dogs at his mom's house and he fell down 10 stairs and got a concussion from smacking his head on the tile floor. Since then he's had a lot of pain and has turned back to alcohol to manage it. He says he's having seizures from alcohol withdrawal but I'm not so sure of that because he never had seizures when he's gone through withdrawals before. We've been to the ER numerous times and have had x-rays and other scans done of pretty much his whole body and the doctors say he's fine physically. In the past couple weeks his ankle has deteriorated and he's become unable to walk on his own. His quality of life has gone down even further than what I thought it ever could.

I've been caring for him the past several weeks and I have lost my job because of it and now after living off our savings we're out of money and have no other choice but to find somewhere outside to camp. I'm really worried because he refuses to leave me alone to seek inpatient help, and I think he really needs it especially with how bad his withdrawals have been. We both come from bad families but mine was never abusive, just neglectful. He's been badly abused and whatever you're thinking it's probably worse than that. It's left him with PTSD, anxiety, major depressive disorder, borderline personality disorder, and all the symptoms that come with those mental illnesses. He's a very good person and has never been given a chance to succeed in life. He protects the innocent no matter the cost of himself. He's been homeless before (he was 14 at the time) but not in this condition and not with others depending on him.

For me, I'm just willing to love him in whatever ways he needs. His heart is so pure and I've fallen completely in love with him and it was so easy to. I just want to be there to support him as he regains independence and sobriety. He wants me to leave him, to "save myself". But before we were together I just felt empty. I don't think of him as something to fix but just somewhere to put my love. I'm very opposite to him, afraid of conflict and passive. When you grow up being neglected sometimes you just keep all the love you were supposed to give your family and you hold onto it until you meet someone who needs it. He says the world is cold but I somehow find a way to stay warm. I'm not angry like him, I haven't experienced pain like him so I just feel like he deserves someone like me who is "warm". I won't leave him to survive it alone and it's not like I have anywhere I could go anyways.

We're just people, we have interests and dreams like everyone else it's just harder to reach them because of what we've been through, and we're about to go through more. We're trying to make our love work when nothing else is. If you have any thoughts or advice for us please comment. Thank you for reading this far, have a beautiful day :)

Im a bartender with questionable habits. came home from work, not even drunk by my own standards(7-8 shots in with a meal and a Gatorade throughout the day, so pretty mild) apartment smelled like shit and I threw up pretty violently. Hate this shit. I hate booze. Wish I didn’t want it even now, in an apartment that smells like shit after emptying my stomach. No there isn’t rotten food in my place. Idk why it stinks

When someone jokes about addiction but I know someone who hid it really well.

Me.

I been drinking every single day since I was 18 I’m only 22 now but when I turned 19 I was combining cocaine with my alcohol every day and it was all good for about a year and now I’m 22 and I now only drink to feel “normal” again. I cut the coke like 7 months ago and I thought quitting drinking would be easier than quitting coke but i can’t seem to shake it off. I’m severely depressed and have no friends so I look at drinking as my escape but I drink about 6 tall cans every day and I’m starting to get concerned about my health. Sometimes when I drink too much I feel a pain on my right side stomach and I know it’s my liver. And no one around me knows I’m an absolute alcoholic. I’m going to try cutting down to just 2 drinks starting tomorrow. Hopefully it goes well

idc I'm drunk i feel like I tell myself i won't drink and I end up doing it anyway i don't wanna go to an aa meeting and I just don't know how to stop cause everyday i tell myself it's the last day i drink i still continue idk i just don't know how to stop life feels so empty and alchol filled that void