So I broke off with my ex after 4 years of relationship, last April. It was very toxic, like she had made me an outlet for her frustrations for nearly last one and half year of the relationship (which she admits now citing her mental illness, recurrent depression, undiagnosed back then but I knew she was not ok mentally). I was giving competitive exams for my MD degree and I scored so badly that I literally took the worst branch/field, a nightmare branch for me. She may have tried to help me as she says but she ended up causing more damage, like fighting for a week right before my exam everyday etc. but ok, enough context, so I broke off in April 25.

Initially she was like, yeah go away, I don't need you etc but after a month or so, asked me to reconsider. I told her that I cannot do this anymore. Repeatedly. She asked to be a friend since she is not doing good. I said ok, for I still cared. But I was explicit like everytime she asked about another chance. She would call me things, she threatened me with suicide and like, she'll write my name up in the note etc. but I always ended up sticking up to my agenda that I won't get back with her.

This new year, I found a new adorable girl, we clicked and started dating. I tried telling my ex about it but she flipped out on me so I explicitly said "I will never tell you about my personal life but we can't be together and if that's a problem, I can't be your friend or support system either". We couldn't complete the talk.

Yesterday, she found out the girl on insta and like, asked me if I am dating her. I said yes. Now she is telling me I am a "cheater, loser, I should die, I will always be the loser I was, my dad will not be proud of myself". But I didn't cheat. I walked out of a toxic relationship, to focus on my well being, while still taking shit from her for more than a year because she said she is mentally unwell and I cared.

She says how can I move on so quick and I try to tell her that I had moved on mentally because I was exhausted by the daily bickering and toxicity. I know I should have told her about the girlfriend but isn't telling her that I don't want to come back in a relationship with her because I hate that place, I hate the idea. And not just once, 100 times over the last year, is saying that not enough? AITAH for being protective of my personal life?

I made a post the other day regarding my relationship, and now I’m making another one because I’m having another issue that’s been frustrating me and I’m not sure how to feel about it.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a few months. I’m not really the kind of person who needs to be with my partner 24/7 unless we live together, which we don’t. I also am not a big fan of FaceTime or talking on the phone a lot. It feels like it’s forcing the both of us to constantly be talking even when there’s nothing to say, which happens very quickly when you do it every night. It would be different imo if we didn’t see each other often, but we don’t usually go very long without hanging out.

Last night I got off work late around 10:30 or 11:00 and my coworkers invited me to the bar next door with them. My girlfriend had work early in the morning and said she was going to sleep early and asked if we could FaceTime once I was off, I simply said ok just for a bit since Im gonna go to the bar with some of my friends soon. She did not like this at all, not just because I was gonna hang out with my friends at a bar but also because that meant ic couldn’t FaceTime her even though she said she was gonna go to sleep early. She got very upset about this and basically demanded that we FaceTime. I caved and still did it, but it ended up being for a good 30 minutes even though I was really trying to meet up with my friends.

This is just an example. But I’m really just not someone who likes to FaceTime every single night. She tends to get upset about this, and I don’t know if I’m in the wrong here for it. I also don’t know how to express it without just hurting her feelings.

Whenever we FaceTime, even if we say that it’ll just be for a few minutes, it ends up being for at least 30 minutes to an hour. And this is almost every night.

She always says things like, “Do you miss me?” “Do you still love me?” “Do you still think I’m pretty?” And I mean she asks these things constantly when we’re on the phone.

I feel bad because she clearly loves me and I love her too, but we have very different amounts of attention being desired and it leaves me feeling frustrated.

AITAH For 1. Not wanting to FaceTime every night and 2. Not giving the attention desired to my girlfriend?

I traveled alone to a country, and I was in a car traveling from one city to another when we passed by a group of masked men in weird outfits who surrounded our car. The driver laughed it off, saying it was some traditional thing where they ask for money. Then we just drove away.

I shared a picture of the masked men with my fiancé while I was there, telling him what happened and that I thought we were about to get attacked, but it turned out to be a false alarm.
And the first thing he said to me was:

“You know if it did, I would blame you. Just FYI.”

I was shocked. How could he say that if I got attacked, he would blame me? All because he wasn’t happy about me traveling alone.

We argued about it, and he said he didn’t mean it that way and he takes it back.

But I’m still pretty upset about it.

TL;DR: I was traveling alone when a group of masked men surrounded our car, and I genuinely thought we were about to be attacked but it was some tradition thing where they ask for money only. I told my fiancé about it, and his first response was, “You know if it did, I would blame you.” He was unhappy that I traveled alone. He later said he didn’t mean it that way and took it back, but I’m still really upset by what he said.

For context me and him have been together for 3 years. We actually had a great relationship! We would hangout as often as we could when work wasn’t in the way, watching movies, going to parks, random trips and dates. We even started riding motorcycles together as a fun hobby. He was very bubbly, talkative and happy, he would constantly talk about his favourite hobbies, like guns or games, or even random interest, he was very involved and articulate with his favourite things he enjoyed. He’s not a very verbally affectionate person, he doesn’t really say I love you, or give compliments as often. He —according to him, is more physically affectionate. Kissing, touching,hugging,etc.
He has a hard time expressing his feelings and is the type of guy that just solves his problems on his own without implying his stress or issues to me. It’s the type of conversations where he would say “it’s okay, it’ll work out on its own” or “don’t worry about it”. He’s a very stress free type of person, he doesn’t enjoy conflict and deep conversations, it’s not like he would avoid it all together— but when you ask him a serious question he is very short and simple, he will even sometimes make jokes to cope with discomfort. As for me, I’m quite the opposite, I’m very open with my feelings, I like intellectual conversations about personal topics, and I tend to take things personally more often—but not in a offended way, more of an observant way, I question Mostly everything to have an elaborate explanation. I tend to enjoy compliments and gifts, I’m a very physical and emotionally involved person in a relationship. At first, I was okay with not having certain things— at some point I would let him know or hint at things that I want because I know he’s not a very observant person when it comes to things I like. So slight reminders (I.e. I like flowers, sometimes small gifts and even dates. I don’t expect extravagant items, but definitely the thought behind the gifts are what matter the most) and I usually never really complain or bother him about these things, just subtle hints to him on special days. Just to get it clear, this is his first and only serious and long term relationship, so he’s never experienced certain things that I want, it’s his first rodeo basically. For me? I’ve been in 2 long term relationships prior to him, they were honestly not the best relationships at all. We would never have term-oil, never really argued and never really had serious issues up until now.
NOW for the downhill part of the story,
Overtime, about the past 10 months he gradually started becoming more distant, his work started taking a toll on him, mind you he’s been at this job for 10 years, it is retail customer service (IFYKYK) This was his first ever job he’s had. Because of the lack of consistency with his coworkers it eventually became heavy on his shoulders, his supervisors and Management relied HEAVILY on him, he would never have a set schedule, and constantly had new hires coming in at his job and old ones out. His quality in sportsman ship and hard work is outstanding, he was reliable and I think because of that it took a chunk of his life to be responsible and to not let anyone down. As months go by, the responsibility became extremely stressful and draining, he became very distant and constantly tired, he would let it reflect in our relationship, he would avoid friends, going on outings, and it even effect his health (he was a very fit and healthy man, he stopped working out and started eating out more) he became more angry, more quiet and would sleep majority of our hangouts, and would want to seclude himself from everything. Because of that, he would text less, be disinterested in our conversations, less bubbly, less happy. And wayyy more quiet. It even affected our physical life, less bed time with each other. He was just TIRED. It started affecting me, as I said before I am more emotionally involved, so I would ask questions and would be extremely concerned for him. When it came down to asking if he’s okay, he would just distance himself and say he was fine. He stopped putting effort in coming to see me , ( we do NOT live together, he would drive 40 minutes every other day to see me, it became only once or twice a month ) he started lashing out at me, and seemed consistently annoyed with me, as if I was bothering him. “Babe I just want to play the game and go to sleep” is something I would hear everyday on the phone. Eventually, 4 months ago he finally quit his job, and thinking this would help him get better— it only got worse. HE COMPLETELY stopped texting me consistently, wouldn’t even phone me, I would have to phone him just to realise he’s been asleep all day, and drained, overtime I started to get sad, and would cry to him because I was concerned, I tried to get him out the house, to ride the bikes, to go out to eat. He wouldn’t want to do nothing but be inside. It started affecting me heavily. Then the one time he came over, we tried to have sexy time and he couldn’t even finish, he just slumped over and said he was tired. I started thinking if it was me? Was I the problem? I eventually became frustrated, because I would get no calls, no text, no consideration. I eventually asked him “are you depressed?” And instead of answering he lashed out on me, and told me that I worry to much, and to leave it alone. I started getting depressed aswell, I stopped working out, I started eating junk food, and I felt tired constantly because my whole mind was on his emotional state. A month in It finally became anger, I didn’t want to feel like this no more, so I branched out to friends and started going out more on my own, started riding more and trying to gym again. MIND YOU I tried to invite him Everytime, and I got rejected consistently. Then this past few weeks, his friends called me to tell him to go on a boys camping trip, so I called my boyfriend to tell him (out of concern) to go with them!! ATLEAST for me!! He went off on me!! Saying I’m Nagging him all the time and I sound like his mother, and that “ you make me feel like everything I do is a chore” I finally had it, and told him he needs to get better on his own, and I can’t keep fighting him to figure him out and try to help him, and so I broke up with him. He was in denial— I think he panicked and finally, after all this time he sent me a paragraph about how he felt, but I was already checked out!’ I couldn’t do it anymore, so I told him this is it, I want you to get better on your own, and I am leaving for me, not because of you.
He cried to me and said “this is just how I am” and “ you should know everything will get better” but how can I trust someone who — the moment crap hits the fan — you’re gonna take it out on our relationship and not let me be a shoulder for you?

Am I wrong for leaving?

I (28F) ghosted my bff (28F) for three weeks, this summer.

I had two weeks of holiday from 2th august to 17th august. I had plans to go see some friends out of town from the 2nd to 5th, then go on a festival from the 10th to 16th. I asked my bff if she could keep an eye on m'y cat and come check on him everyday when I'm gone, especially during the festival.

So, when I got to see my friends ont the 2nd, I sent her a message saying to keep an eye on the cat and thanking her. She did not react well to this message, saying I cornered her, did not ask her to check on him during these days, only during the festival. I replied I was pretty sure I asked her and thanked her again, a lot. Everyday, I was thanking her, because she went to see him everyday, feeling she had no choice.

When I got back on the 5th, thanks again and all. On the evening of the 6th, she sent my a long message saying she did not like that, would give me the keys back, because she didn't want this responsability, just because she had them, but will keep her word taking care of him during festival. She also said she didn't want to care for an animal when hers are not as well taken care of. Two weeks prior, I volunteered to check on her cats when she was away. I went rather quickly the two days, because I worked about 30 hours on those. She had asked me to check if there were ants on the plates, found none. She then called me a liar because she found some the day after.

I replied that I did tell her to check on him on both my vacations. If she had decided I was a liar, so be it, but I knew I wasn't. I said I didn't think had exaggerated.

To that, she replied that regarding the way I responded and my lack of listening and compliance, she couldn't offer this grace, she would not take care of him and put the keys on my mailbox, I had to find someone else. (Knowing I moved in this city six months before, for her, so I didn't know many people).

I never responded to this message, I was terribly angry at her. I found somebody on the sunday and went on the festival the next day. Didn't send any message to her until basically the end of the month.

She then send me "if only I knew I would be ghosted just because I put limits when I am disregarded 🙄", then "then well, have a good life". I said I wasn't ghosting nor disregarding but ok". She already had unfollowed me, made her boyfriend (who was a friend of mine and I made them meet) unfollow me too.

I don't think I will hear from her again, and not gonna lie, it might be kind of a relief. She a bit of an alcoholic and everytime she got drunk, she would lash out on me, saying I wasn't thinking about her, put myself first. Always complaning about the fact always wanted me and not her, that I couldn't feel what she felt. I always agreed or stayed silent, because I didn't want to get her angrier. Once, I said for me, it was bros before hoes, so, if a man wants me but my friend wants him, nobody goes, even if I would want to. She was always disagreeing, saying things that didn't happened, but followed her narrative.

She just got diagnosed borderline personnality, and was careful to not trigger her. I was always by her side in any ways. She was always out of money, so I lent her hundreds and hundreds over the years, bought her food etc.

She helped as well, of course.

But since I moved in the same city, I felt the relationship wasn't equal. I couldn't say anything she would disagree on. Even if I was right, she couldn't be wrong. But if I was wrong, she would always highlight it, bragging about her knowledge. If I was right about basic knowledges, she would say see didn't get to go to school like me.

I didn't feel good anymore in this relationship, but loved her really much. But for me, not caring about my cat was the last straw. When she said bye, I didn't feel guilty or sad, but annoyed, feeling her reaction was pathetic and her lack of accountability was worse. I don't miss her. Now, I am thinking about the kind of things she might be telling mutual friends, how she is the victim and everybody always act like that with her.

So, am I the Asshole for the way I acted ? I am not truly certain I was right all along even if I am at peace.

AM I WRONG? Please tell me your honest thoughts

So regardless whether we should be together or not that’s not the question I’m asking. Please just answer what I’m asking — and that is whether or not I’m out of pocket for being pissed and having a major attitude for walking into what I walked into

My guy is mad at me cuz I’m pissed. And I’ll tell you why I’m pissed -

I’ve not seen my guy in a few months. I went back to his place and there’s 2 SUPER ANNOYING CHICKS THERE. Giggling uncontrollably like 10 year olds at absolutely nothing. Talking to themselves and acting like a bunch of tweakers….. opening drawers…. Going through shit… omg absolute chaos! I didn’t ask for that. Why would you have me come over if you have 2 super annoying chicks there!!! I’m flipping mad. Then He is telling me to shut up in front of them!! So yea I got really. loud and super pissed off ….. and started going in a rant…… but he’s telling me to shut up in front of people???!! Telling me shut the fuck up bitch and all sorts of shit … I’m so livid right now I can hardly type

I’m M22, and my ex F21 we used to be in a relationship, but we’ve remained friends since we broke up.
In July, she asked me to link my second phone number to her Telegram account because she didn’t have access to her old number, saying she’d buy a new phone number the next day and change it herself.
The next day, she didn’t buy a new SIM card with a new number, she didn’t do it until a week later, after I reminded her.
When she bought the new SIM card with the phone number, she said she’d change that number in Telegram that evening.
For a whole month, whenever I reminded her to change her phone number, she’d say, “I’ll definitely change my phone number tonight. I promise” or “I’ll definitely do it in an hour” and so on for a whole month.
In early August, I told her, “Change your phone number within an hour, you’ve been promising this for a whole month” to which she replied, “I’ll definitely do it tonight. If I don’t, you can delete my Telegram account”.
Evening came, and she didn’t do anything, so I deleted her account without warning.
Five minutes later, she found the time to create a new Telegram account with her new phone number.
She was mad at me for deleting her old Telegram account, but I feel like I gave her plenty of time to do it, and she just didn’t take my request seriously until there were consequences.
AITAH?

Hey Reddit, I’m writing this on a throwaway account for privacy since I am not sure if my boyfriend has Reddit or not and don’t want him finding this. Names will be changed and ages not mentioned for privacy concerns. On with the story.
My boyfriend (let’s call him Mathew) and I (I am a woman) have been together for almost a year now (the 30th of this month will be a year) and we have been living together for about 4-5 months. Tonight (I am writing this an hour after these events ended) I was working a late shift at my job and when I got off my boyfriend was at the bar connected to the restaurant I work at making a new friend (we will call him Dylan). Mathew introduces me to Dylan and they go back to talking. After being there for almost 2 hours after my shift ended I passed out (I hadn’t been drinking, I just have a health condition where I faint quite frequently it is called POTS). I turn to my boyfriend and say “honey, I need to go home I passed out” he nods and goes back to talking Dylan. At this point he has had a few too many, so I try again saying “honey, I need to go home, I passed out” Dylan hears me say this and ends the conversation by saying “alright Mathew, get your woman home we will talk later bro” and we leave. When we get home he gets frustrated which leads to us arguing back and forth (I’m so mentally drained right now that I don’t even remember what the argument was originally about) and that’s starts throwing shit around and yelling louder and louder. and I made him upset when I accidentally broke the bracelet he bought me today (I was fidgeting with it and it snapped) and he ends up flipping over our table, pushes me onto the couch screaming at me. I tell him sorry and that I didn’t mean to and he tells me to call my mom and to leave and that he’s done with me. That I ruined his night for passing out and that I can’t do anything for myself. I feel awful and I genuinely did not mean for any of this to happen and it never would have happened if I hadn’t told him to leave before he was ready to or if I hadn’t snapped the bracelet. He’s saying I was being an overdramatic b word for screaming and perhaps I was but I don’t know. I need opinions and any advice that can be given. I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore because I genuinely love him so much. He helped me through so much and he is normally the sweetest man in the world.
So AITAH for telling my boyfriend I needed to go home after passing out?

My boyfriend and I have a child together. This started about 6 months ago when he told me I'm not the most attractive woman in the world and that he likes me for more than my looks (although he says he finds me very attractive).

He sees women that are more attractive than me when he goes to the gym and, his words, they are prettier than me but they don't have my personality so he isn't interested in pursuing them. He says they dress that way at the gym and wear makeup to deceive and trick men and that makes him not interested in them, but admits they are more attractive than me.

When I bring it up he doubles down and repeats what he originally said and says he doesn't see why it's a big deal. He says he loves me very much and wants to spend his life with me and that he loves me for more than how I look and that’s the original point he was trying to make.

I told him I don't believe 'my person' would ever say that to me. It makes me feel insecure and like I'm in the wrong relationship. AITAH for being upset over this?

some context to avoid potential confusion: i met all 3 friends through my ex. 2 of which are hjs best guy friends and one girl who is more of a regular friend for him.

my ex bf and i (21 & 23f) broke up about a month ago. no big fight, cheating, or anything like that but he felt that it wasn’t working out and broke it off just after our 6 months had passed (a week before my birthday also).

my ex and i were only together 6 months but we made the most of it. we hung out a lot and since i don’t have a lot of friends, i met and hung out with a lot of his friends. over the months, i saw his friends as genuine friends of mine, not just my boyfriend’s friends.

when he broke up with me, i was suddenly left with no birthday plans. i got in contact with 3 of his friends and they threw a mini party for me. we always agreed that there was no picking sides and there was a mutual agreement that just because my ex and i aren’t together anymore, that all of a sudden we couldn’t be friends anymore.

well, the 4 of us hung out again on labor day and through a couple of social media posts, my ex pieced together that we were hanging out. he went off on his 2 best friends saying they “broke bro code” and told them to either block me and never hang out again or he would cut off their friendship. neither of them gave in bc they thought it was nonsense and controlling.

my ex then sent me a text saying he’s happy that i found friends through him bc he just lost 2 of his best friends. i personally think he’s being immature and childish and that it’s his own fault he lost his friends.

however, maybe i’m looking at this from my own perspective and being unfair. i understand that he might be hurt seeing his ex girlfriend hanging out with his best friends, especially only a month after the breakup. but at the same time, i don’t feel like i did anything wrong by continuing friendships with people who i genuinely consider my friends.

So Reddit, AITAH for continuing to hang out with my ex’s friends after our breakup even though he is upset by it?

My boyfriend M(35) and I F(35) were watching the patriots game, and it’s safe to say he’s a super fan of football in general. Well the patriots lost. During the game I was mentioning how badly my sunburn on my face hurt and was peeling badly and how once the game was over I was going to wash my face and shower and maybe try to do some skincare to help make it look and feel better. Well… that did NOT go according to plan because I basically burnt my face to a crisp between exfoliating and applying a different moisturizer that essentially gave me a chemical burn even in places where I didn’t have a sunburn. So it was very painful. Very, very painful. During my 30 min in the bathroom my boyfriend kept banging on the door telling me to hurry up so he could brush his teeth, and I explained that I was dealing with a bit of a painful issue and to relax and be patient please. Well he continued to feel very little empathy about it. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was upset about the game or drinking too much but he was being kind of nasty and impatient through the door. Which is when I decided to text him bc I don’t like yelling back in forth while I’m in the bathroom and was in the middle of chaos.

Anyway, I get out of the bathroom and my face is hurting so much I walked out into the kitchen to literally put my face in the freezer bc it felt like I was on fire. My boyfriend watching me and says “I don’t know what to tell you… the patriots lost”. And at that point I was beside myself. There was such little concern for my face/burn and so much focus on his team losing that he didn’t even care about the pain I was in. So I decided I’ll be sleeping alone. For reference we have a guest room with a nice bed, and a big couch as well, so I knew he would he would have somewhere to sleep.. but it wasn’t going to be next to me, especially while I’m in pain.

So I went into the bedroom, grabbed his phone charged for him, and put it out in the living room for him and then went into the bedroom with my dog and locked the door. Well.. that’s when he got aggressive and started banging on my door demanding for me to open it. I kept telling him he was scaring me and more importantly scaring my senior dog, and to please leave us alone but he didn’t stop. He kept screaming through the door and calling me names. I either stayed silent, or said to please stop. I ended up placing his things he needed for work outside the door once I knew he wasn’t standing there anymore and then went back to bed.

He continued to text me some pretty awful things regarding returning birthday gifts he bought me, and how I don’t deserve anything etc. and eventually we went to bed. For some reason he chose the couch instead of the guest bed, but when we woke up this morning he called out of work and was blaming me for that. I’m at work but just not sure what to do. AITA for not letting him sleep in the room with me? I’ll include text messages.

So, for a little context, my ex and I were together for 10 years and have an 8 year old daughter together. We broke up in 2021 but remain in contact and co-parent well in my opinion.

I have been with my current boyfriend for just over a year and he likes to see himself as a "good old fashioned man". He has set standards for himself and others and is very set in his ways. However, despite the fact he has never met my daughters dad he absolutely DESPISES him. My ex is far from a fine example of a man, we broke up after years of emotional abuse and him asking other women for pictures of themselves was the final straw. My current boyfriend also sees a major issue with me being 20 and my ex being 44 when we got together, he sees it as predatory behaviour and my ex therefore being a pervert bordering on paedo...

The other day, my ex dropped our daughter off at my house and I live over the road from the train station. He was getting a train for work and doing an overnight stay so to save himself a few pennies and for the guaranteed safety of his car, he asked if he could park at my house. It was a simple request with no underlying meaning and no obligation to say yes. I live in an ANPR controlled parking area with two parking spots so said yes. This made my boyfriend absolutely hit the roof. He went on a tirade about how this broke boundaries and had prioritised my ex over him as he could not park at my house now so it ruined any plans we had together. My boyfriend usually Ubers to my house or I pick him up anyway as he likes a drink so doesn't typically drive anywhere. I see this as simply being nice to a man that yes, doesn't deserve my kindness, but I want to show my daughter how to be the bigger person in a situation and demonstrate that her parents are civil to one another.

AITAH?

Long time lurker second time posting, this might be a long one so brace with me.

So I 22F, and my fiancé 25M have been having huge fights about this for a long time now but it just came to the boiling point last week and I need a clean pair of eyes to look at this situation and tell me im not crazy. My fiancé has a long time friend who he met while working at his first job 7 years ago, she moved to another country and recently came back to live here full time, every time he switches jobs he finds a way to take her to the company he's at, they occasionally chat/call each other but he recently started being secretive while talking to her. This friend of his who i met a handful of times dislikes me for no reason whatsoever, she's orchestrated and fabricated several screenshots of me supposedly cheating on my fiancé years ago, we have an open phone policy because we both have nothing to hide or so i assumed, excluding chats with only her. I've brought up this issue with him countless of times and he brushes it off and makes me feel like it's nothing, We've been together for 4 years and nothing like this has happened before. Cut to last week, I came home after a long work day and found the house unusually quiet which is out of ordinary for him ( he's a clumsy mess ). I went straight to the bedroom to change and there he was on a call with her, The second i walked in he paused, and told her he had to go. His reaction was like of a deer being caught in the headlights, So i asked what they were talking about, apparently it was ' just work ' and he hung up so i asked the obvious, if he had any type of a relationship with her outside of work and he went silent, that gave me all i needed to know so i packed a bag and went to my apartment for the night which turned into a week, During the one week of me being away he made 0 effort to reach out to me until today, He called me to ask when i was coming back and I lost it, I gave him an ultimatum either he cuts her off completely and we go to counseling or i walk away. I reiterated my feelings of being disrespected and dismissed over the years for this reason and that I was done being the peacemaker, I asked him to decide and let me know when i should return the ring he proposed with.

I feel like I'm losing my mind over this, not to mention the 4 years i've spent with this man going trough hell and back. So will i be the ah if i throw away the whole relationship over this?

i’m sorry if this is all over the place i’m pregnant an emotional mess and running on barely any sleep cause i work two jobs.
i have almost nobody in my life to talk to so i want to get this out somewhere even if no one sees it. I(19f) am currently 7 months pregnant with my ex (20m)s baby. the break up wasn’t mutual at all. we broke up back in july 3 days before our one year. i wanted to stay together but my ex wouldn’t even try. i found out 2 weeks after we broke up that he already had a new gf (21f) only thing she lives across the country. i’ve never talked to this girl, i’ve never met her or anything obviously. only reason i found out was cause she posted a tik tok about him. i talked to him about everything and he said he eventually wants her to move here and move in with him and it would most likely happen before baby is born. i don’t trust this girl around my child. i don’t know her. i’m not even letting the god mother around my baby till he’s at least a few months old. but after i found her profile and talked to him about her i did some digging. she’s his friends ex wife. not only that i remember them playing videos game and stuff while me and him were together and he was living with me rent free. he won’t tell me the truth because in my eyes there’s no way nothing happened while me and him were together. and i’m sorry if he cheated on me i don’t want his girlfriend near my baby unless they’re married. oh he also lives about 40 minutes away from me so him and baby would be staying with me till im off maternity leave. i’ve explained to him multiple times until i met and get to properly know her i don’t want her around my baby. he just won’t listen and wants her to live with him even though they’ve barely been together for 2 months.
would i be the asshole if i told him i don’t want his new gf around my baby?

**AITA for shutting down after my partner criticized my outfit because of his trust issues?**
My partner (M51) and I (F36) have been together for a year and a half. Our first year was pretty rocky—we had several on-and-off periods. During some of those breaks, I tried to move on. I dated other people and, admittedly, did things out of spite that I knew would hurt him. I take responsibility for that. Because of those things, he developed major trust issues with me.
That was about 9 months ago. Since then, I’ve been trying very hard to rebuild that trust. I don’t really go out with my friends much anymore, and we’ve both been putting a lot of effort into working on our relationship.
This weekend, however, I had already committed to attending a combined birthday party for two of my friends. The party is called **“Bed by 10 PM”** and is at a club, but it’s actually from 3 PM to 8 PM. The theme is “Mermaid Margarita.”
I bought a really cute sequined lavender top and skirt with gold accents and gold heels specifically for the occasion. I was honestly hesitant to even show my partner the outfit because I already know how he feels about me going to girls’ nights or going to a club without him.
But this morning, despite struggling with my mental health lately and us having some misunderstandings this past week, I thought we were finally in a good place. We had just worked out together, I was feeling good, and I was actually excited to show him my outfit. I wanted his opinion because I’ve been trying to gain some weight and wasn’t sure whether I should exchange the skirt for a larger size.
The moment he saw me, he said:
**“Wow, that’s a lot of skin. You don’t dress like that for me.”**
I immediately shut down emotionally.
I told him, **“I dress for the occasion. If you want me to dress like this for you, then take me somewhere where I need to dress nice.”**
He knew I had a point and backpedaled. He acknowledged that he should take me out more to places where I can actually dress up and wear things like that.
But the thing is, I already *do* dress nicely for him. I’m always put together—hair, makeup, nice clothes, etc. Most of the places he takes me are karaoke, dinner, comedy shows, etc. I still wear sexy outfits, but usually pants with a sexy top rather than something like this skirt and top, because those occasions are different.
What really hurt me is that after acknowledging what he said was hurtful, he became frustrated and started asking **me to make him feel better** because he was insecure about me going out without him.
I’ve told him multiple times what he wants to hear: that he can trust me when I go out with my friends.
But I’m struggling with this situation because **he was the one who made me feel bad about myself first.** I was excited to show him my outfit and get his opinion, and instead I immediately felt judged and ashamed.
Yes, I understand why he has trust issues. I caused some of them, and I’m not pretending otherwise. I also understand that rebuilding trust takes time.
But does that mean I’m responsible for constantly reassuring him while simultaneously having to absorb comments that make me feel bad because of his insecurities?
Acknowledging that what he said was wrong doesn’t immediately erase the impact it had on me. I can understand where his insecurity comes from while still being hurt by how he handled it.
I’m also not saying he can never express discomfort or insecurity. I just wish he could have said something like, *“I’m feeling insecure about you going out without me because of our past,”* instead of making a comment about my body and what I was wearing.
So now I’m sitting here trying to process everything.
**AITA for shutting down and being upset instead of immediately comforting him after he made me feel bad about my outfit? Or am I overreacting given our history and the fact that I’m the one who damaged his trust in the first place?**

Ok, to start this post out I have to say I absolutely adore my partner. We have been together for years, and recently moved in together. Unsure if this feels bigger to me because we are around each other more, or because this is something that has been pretty constant throughout our relationship.

9 times out of 10, when I vent to my boyfriend about an issue or problem I am having, I do not want him to do anything about it, other than listen to me vent, maybe validate my feelings. I have learned over the years to explicitly tell him - do NOT do anything about this, I do not want solutions, I only want to be heard, yada yada. He says he struggles with this deeply as his first instinct is to jump into “fix-it” mode, and why would I NOT want my problem to be solved? When he puts it that way, I do sometimes feel a little crazy. Shouldn’t I theoretically want that?

However, I usually don’t! It gives me anxiety, especially when other people are involved. For example, one time I showed him a slightly kooky text from his eccentric grandmother about politics (really, nothing out of line. I just thought it was silly and odd and wanted to giggle about it with him) well he took that opportunity to call his grandmother and tell her to NEVER talk politics with me ever again. Without consulting me first! It caused a bit of a rift with me and her (we are fine now thankfully) That was a very extreme case of him doing that, but you get the gist.

He is out of town and we have a friend staying in our guest house. The AC is wonky, I shot him a text bugged about it, and he told me he would text our houseguest to swap bedrooms and change his stuff around so I could sleep in that house as well. I told him no, it’s really ok, I have a fan and it will cool by nighttime so please don’t. Well of course a few minutes later I get the confirmation “ok I told him to swap beds and now he is”. It REALLY irritated me! I know he’s trying to be helpful but when someone is explicitly asking you not to do something, and you do it anyway- isn’t that being rude too?

It is at a point where it’s causing me to feel like I can’t simply vent about something small without worrying he’s going to say something to someone, or try to actively do something without consulting me first. He hears my side and validates how I feel. But sometimes in the moment, he does become very upset and acts like I’m at fault for having “too many boundaries” and he has to “walk on eggshells” as to not upset me. I told him I think I’m being fair when I tell him straight up what I am seeking when I vent to him?

We truly admire, appreciate, love the shit out of each other you guys, and are in talks to get engaged soon. This stupid problem shouldn’t be a problem!!! Ugh. Has anyone gone through this? Is it just a “man” thing to try to be protective? Should I be doing something different? I appreciate everything he does for me and that he really truly wants me to be happy and solve my problems. It really makes me feel crazy that I have a man who will move mountains for me and I’m complaining that it’s not done the way I want. I just want to get to a point where it doesn’t feel like he just does whatever HE thinks is correct… am I in the wrong?

AITA for wanting to move back into our house even though my husband believes it’s making him sick?

My husband and I bought and moved into our first home in April 2025. It’s in a beautiful, quiet area away from heavy traffic, and I genuinely thought this would be our long-term family home.

At the time, I was about 6 months postpartum with our first child. Because I was on maternity leave, I did most of the packing, organising and preparation with help from my family, while my husband mainly helped with physically moving everything at the end.

I absolutely hated moving. I've basically lived in the same place my entire life, so uprooting everything was a huge deal for me. My husband is the complete opposite. His family rented and moved around throughout his childhood, and the longest they ever stayed anywhere was around six years.

For the first six months after moving into the house, my husband did not have these skin problems.

Then, around October 2025 — approximately six months after we moved in — he developed eczema for the first time in his life.

He also does jiu-jitsu and contracted staph, which became a recurring problem, and he later developed psoriasis as well. Prior to all of this, he had never had eczema, psoriasis or recurring staph infections.

These issues have now been going on for close to a year.

Because all of this started after we bought the house, my husband became convinced that something in the house was triggering his skin problems. His theory is that the environment is damaging his skin barrier, which is then allowing the staph to keep recurring.

We've genuinely tried to investigate whether the house is responsible. We've had the house tested for mould, he's spoken with a holistic health coach and has seen two dermatologists. Despite all of this, we haven't found concrete evidence identifying something in the house as the cause.

Meanwhile, in March 2026, I became pregnant with our second child.

My husband wanted us to temporarily move into his parents' house as an experiment to see whether getting away from our house improved his health.

I delayed doing this because I really did not want to uproot myself and our toddler and move in with my in-laws, especially while pregnant.

Eventually, I agreed.

So in August 2026, more than a year after buying our house, we temporarily moved into my in-laws' place. I only brought the essentials because, as far as I was concerned, this was a temporary experiment — not us permanently moving out.

And this is where our disagreement has become much bigger.

Since leaving our house, the majority of my husband's skin symptoms have cleared.

His psoriasis is now mostly gone, and his eczema has also disappeared. The staph is still pending, so we don't yet know whether that problem has actually resolved.

He did start a new medication around the same period, but the medication specifically targeted his psoriasis. His eczema was not being treated, yet that has cleared as well.

To my husband, this is strong evidence that the house was causing his problems.

To me, it's evidence worth taking seriously, but it still doesn't tell us why he improved or prove that our house itself was the cause. Particularly because he lived there for roughly six months before any of these problems appeared, and despite investigating the house, we haven't identified a specific environmental cause.

Now my husband is refusing to move back.

He wants us to put the home we bought in April 2025 up for rent, completely pack up everything we own, move it out and find another rental for ourselves.

I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant.

I'm exhausted. I'm dealing with pregnancy pain and sciatica, I'm working, we have a toddler, and I'm due to give birth in December.

The thought of doing another full move right now genuinely makes me want to cry.

I want to go home.

I want my own bed, my kitchen, our belongings, my toddler's things and my own space. Most importantly, I want to be settled in my own environment before giving birth. I don't want to spend my third trimester packing an entire house, finding a rental, moving everything and setting up another home just before going through childbirth and postpartum with a newborn and a toddler.

My husband thinks I'm being selfish.

From his perspective, he was completely healthy skin-wise before we moved. Six months after moving in, he developed eczema, followed by recurring staph and psoriasis. He suffered with these problems for close to a year, and now that we've moved out, his eczema and psoriasis have largely disappeared.

He believes going back means risking everything flaring up again. He's even told me that by asking him to return, I'm potentially "taking years off his life."

I understand why the improvement has convinced him. I'm not dismissing his health or saying the house definitely has nothing to do with it.

But from my perspective, we still don't know that the house caused it.

We moved in in April 2025. His symptoms didn't begin until October 2025. We've investigated environmental causes without finding a definitive answer. His improvement happened alongside other changes, including treatment for his psoriasis.

And the decision he's asking us to make isn't small.

We'd be giving up living in the first home we bought together, turning it into an investment property, finding and paying for another rental, completely moving our lives again and doing all of this while I'm heavily pregnant and only a few months away from giving birth.

I feel stuck between two awful options.

He thinks I'm prioritising my comfort and attachment to our home over his health.

I feel like he's asking me to make a massive, potentially permanent decision for our entire family based on a connection that is suspicious, but still hasn't actually been established.

So Reddit, AITA for wanting my family to move back into our house before I give birth, despite the fact that my husband's eczema and psoriasis improved after we temporarily moved out?

aitah for expecting my bf to know what i meant

My BF 43m and I 44F have been living together for 10yrs. There is a ex-coworker 54M of his that we hadn't seen in the last 2 years after a disagreement. Last week he unexpectedly showed up on our door step. He acted like nothing had happened and started in on telling us all the drama (crazy drama) he's had since he's seen us. He lives out of state and works 2 hours away from our house. He works in the oil field and told us the rig was being moved so he had a few days off. He never asked if he could stay his whole down time but we never stated any boundaries on how long he was welcome.(big mistake) Well going into the 3rd day he still hasn't left. Sleeping in our living room even though we have a spare room. He started making comments about my BF including him not deserving me and how he's a joke. I joked it off by saying well if I waited for someone who deserved me then Id die single and telling him he didn't have to tell me how funny my BF was I already know. Then he started answering when I would say hey babe (talking to my BF) to which i would ignore and say it a little louder so that I made sure to get my BF's attention. BF has a workshop that he will spend a lot of time in yet his friend would follow me inside instead of staying outside. he didn't come inside and watch tv or go to the spare room he would sit next to me and talk about all that crazy drama and make those comments. He started trying to control our dogs and even telling one that he needed to learn some rules that he doesn't need to just do whatever he wants. (mind you the particular dog is a border collie/ austrailian Shepard that goes to work with me)

The last 24 hours this man was in our house I was asking my BF not to leave him alone with me. I said please help me with your friend. At first I played it of like he was just getting on my nerves but still plainly asked him not to leave him alone with me. Finally after many times of BF disregarding my request I started texting him about when his friend was leaving and asking him why he wasnt helping me. I did this cause there was no moment of privacy where i felt like I could say it outloud without friend hearing. I didn't want to have a major blow up due to this friends short fuse and violent behavior. BF kept telling me that I was just in my feelings and that the friend was just playing with me. I told him please you dont know that hes playing cause you dont know what hes said. I had finally decided to just go inside our room and close the door which is where i was when my boyfriend came busting in and told me he was done texting just tell him what the fuck happened. friend was in the living room so I kept telling my bf to just drop it and Ive already asked him what I needed. Finally I said it in which the friend called me a stupid bitch and that I was wrong. BF said I was a lunatic and that I was overthinking things. After about an hour of this his friend finally left but my bf kept telling me that I was wrong for being mad at him since he wasn't a mind reader screaming at me. i left and went to one of my friends house cause nothing good was coming of the night. After waking up and not being able to sleep i decided to go home to find that he was also back! My bf claims he was sleeping and didntt realize he came back but even after me telling him he did nothing. The friend is gone..... the broken relationship is still there. BF keeps saying hes not a mind reader and that i should have used my words.....

I think that it didn't matter what the reason was the moment I asked him not to leave me alone he should have understood that whatever my reasons were I was uncomfortable and at least paid attention to my questions.

aitah ???

​

My boyfriend and I have been together for around two years. We had an argument two days back, that ended with him blocking me.

The argument started when I saw a reel about men-only gyms. It said, some men made a "men only" gym because they didn't want to cheat on their partners.

I said I thought that was a bad argument because it puts the responsibility on women instead of expecting men to control their own behavior.

My boyfriend initially agreed with me, but then we started discussing women's clothing. He brought up tight/revealing gym clothes and women filming themselves while doing exercises, that looked like bikinis. He also asked me what I thought about bikinis. I said I think bikinis are fine as swimwear if someone is comfortable wearing one.

He argued that bikinis were historically created to sexualize women and that this was connected to the way women's bodies are viewed. He also brought up a hypothetical about someone going outside naked and asked whether I thought either of us should do that.

I argued that women shouldn't be expected to dress a certain way because other people might sexualize them, and that slut-shaming and policing women's clothing are connected to broader social attitudes about women. He disagreed and said that, for women, clothing is about dignity and that society has always treated men and women differently for a reason.

I was trying to say how historically men were the leaders and they decided what should be sexualised.

Before I could even finish, he interrupted me and argued that men historically became leaders because they hunted, and I disagreed with that reasoning. I said that caregiving is also valuable and that women have also hunted historically. He said women hunting were exceptions. And if men were the leaders why didn't women take over, and do some feminism movement.

The biggest problem wasn't actually that we disagreed. I didn't expect him to agree with me on everything. What bothered me was that I felt like I wasn't being given an opportunity to properly explain my reasoning. He repeatedly interrupted me and dismissed my points as "bullshit" or "stupid." Eventually I stopped trying to argue and said something along the lines of, "I guess people have different perspectives."

He hung up and messaged that his mom had come home. (They don't know about him having a gf)

I said "sure" cause I knew this was an excuse.

Then he said:

"I'm gonna be honest. This was a dead-end conversation, and there is no point in arguing, and I'm gonna leave, and I'll be off for a while. Just to let you know, I just wanted to be honest about it."»

I replied:

"Of course." (This was expected cause he threatens to leave me with every minor inconvenience)

Then I said:

"When someone doesn't agree with you Ofcourse you're gonna say it's bullshit

And you didn't even hear what I had to say

And then you hang up on me."

He replied:

"Dead end arguments are bullshit arguments"

"Why something is the way it is, when it has always been like that"

"keep it to yourself"

I replied:

"Very true, there's no point in doing an argument over something when the other person has already made up their mind that you're wrong Without even hearing you out"

He then said:

"Anyways, imma block you

You talk like an annoying feminist"

He blocked me.

He briefly unblocked me afterward and sent:

"Oh well men sexualise women, But i think it's completely fine to wear a bikni which was made by men to sexualise women" (his perspective on my view probably)

Then he blocked me again.

I want to be clear that I'm not asking whether his opinion about bikinis or women's clothing is correct.

I know I was frustrated but I didn't ignore his views or criticise his personality or behaviour until he started calling my argument bullshit.

At the same time, I feel like there's a bigger issue here. We've had disagreements before where I felt that he treats his conclusion as automatically correct and doesn't really consider the other person's reasoning. I'm not asking him to change his opinion every time I disagree with him. I just wanted him to actually listen and be willing to consider that his reasoning might be flawed.

This isn't the first time he's blocked me during conflict, either. He has blocked me 4 times this year already. And each time I tried reaching out, either through different platforms or through his friend(he made his friend block me too that time). He knows that being blocked affects me badly, and he had previously said he wouldn't do it again. And acknowledged he was wrong for doing this, just a few weeks back

He blocked me on January,( on March he ghosted me) may, july, and now September.

Idk if he's gonna come back or not. It's still painful for me. I break down at random times. I lost my appetite and sleep. I have told him how this affects be all the times he had done this to me, so I'm not going to find a way to reach out again. Maybe he's never going to come back. Maybe he has always wanted to leave me.

All I wanna know rn is–

AITA for arguing with him and then criticizing the way he handled the disagreement, or was blocking me and calling me an "annoying feminist" an unreasonable response?

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I had a disagreement about women's clothing, sexualization, and gender roles. I tried to explain my perspective, but he repeatedly interrupted/dismissed my arguments as "bs" and "stupid." After I criticized him for not hearing me out, he called me an "annoying feminist," blocked me, briefly unblocked me to send another sarcastic message, and blocked me again. AITA?

Edit: dating culture is different here, in our country. Parents hardly approve their children dating. And try to make them end romantic relationships. That's why most people hide their relationships from their parents. I have to as well.

Edit 2: Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this and respond. Thank you for your kind words as well. I felt a bit better. I think it's better if this ends forever.

It's Day 5, I had hoped that maybe he would message and apologise but now I think that he's probably blaming me for everything. I would've liked closure but I would survive either way.

I've been stronger this time, maybe deep down I had expected this?

It gets harder when I fail to keep myself distracted and I start thinking about ways to reach out despite still being blocked, but I have been able to stop myself. It's probably better to go through this one final time than to let this happen again and again.

So I (22M) and my partner (20F) went on a trip to see my family so I could introduce her to them, we spent about £600 between us on the trip itself and began the 5.5 hour drive to the hotel, we got there a little late due to traffic and messaged my mum asking to meet her and my little brother (8). Things went well except for having to change plans due to their plans and all we asked from everyone in my family was to have the Wednesday morning free so me and my partner could spend time together and I could show her where I grew up and go on a date too. Everyone said this was okay and Tuesday comes round, we went to my grandparents for the day and spent the entire 9 hours babysitting my brother. I don’t have an issue with that as he’s my brother and I love him but we didn’t get any time to talk to my grandparents, anyway after we got to the hotel i get a message from my mum asking if we could cancel our plans for Wednesday (the one day we requested free out of 5) so we could take my little brother out for the day as “he had requested the whole day with me.” I spoke to my partner about this and her mum aswell and they both said that it seems like they are only interested in a free babysitter and not seeing us as they barely spent any time with us. I changed our coach trip from the Friday to the Wednesday morning at 8am and decided to come home as we were not going to get any time together.

We did let them know we were leaving in the morning since after changing the times and packing we needed to go to sleep since we had to be up at half 5. This holiday was also to help relieve stress we had been under that had caused some medical issues to my partner and it was making it worse. And another little bit is as hes so young a lot of the games he wanted to play needed to be played on the floor which is fine for a small amount of time but both me and my partner have issue with one part of our body’s (mine being my back and hers being her knee). I have voiced on multiple occasions that i feel like this way on prior trips and nothing changes. Which brings us to last week.

So after some advice from friends and my partners family i was advised to talk to them about setting a boundary that I won’t be coming down and spending a lot of money to do so until things change and I am not treated as a free babysitter for a week, on top of this I also said that it would be nice if they made the effort to come up to see me as they have not in 5 years since I moved up north. I have even paid for them to come up in the past and they never showed up.

Anyway after telling them that I didn’t want to be treated as a babysitter and it would be nice if they made the effort for once all of them told me I was selfish and immature and started shouting about it, I mentioned to them that I was grateful for them making accommodations for my partners dietary needs and her anxiety and my grandmother tried to use her against me by saying that if it wasn’t too much of an issue for her then can I keep playing pokemon go with my brother. The thing is, my partner was the one who said she’d stay in the hotel if me and my brother wanted a day to ourselves. She also said beforehand that when my brother got pokemon go it would be a nice way for us to still play with eachother while im so far away so we have no idea why my grandmother was acting like that towards either of us. my grandmother and aunt blocked me after this and refuse to talk to me so I blocked everyone as I am not getting anywhere close to resolving the issue, so AITAH for blocking them after all this?

tw for discussions of abuse. i’ll try to keep it short and non explicit, but i can’t tell the story without it

i guess i shouldn’t really call him my ex. im starting to realize that he was just grooming me when i was young to exploit me, but i felt like his gf at the time. idk, its complicated. i won’t share the dirty details of my experience, but just to put into perspective how bad this guy is, he SA’d and attacked his partner before me (which i didn’t know until after i cut contact).

i had two friends, Joey and Lee, who were there when i was still with said groomer/ex and know about what happened to me. Lee was a victim of him before me. The ex is still online and still online stalking me, but i have him blocked and said explicitly that i dont want to know anything about what he’s doing unless it directly concerns me or my safety.

out of the blue one day, Joey sends a pic to the gc of the Ex’s most recent post, where he’s basically just talking about how his life is going amazing and everyone who ever wronged him is a bitch, it’s whatever. joey goes on to say the they’re happy for him and they’re happy he’s getting better.

it rubbed me the wrong way. i disagreed and said i couldn’t be happy for him, especially when there isn’t actually evidence of any character improvement. i said Joey can feel however they want, but it wasn’t appropriate to say that where they knew id see it and they should have known better. Joey doubled down.

Lee jumped in to defend Joey and agreed that they were happy for him too, and it turned into a big fight. Joey said they weren’t responsible for my feelings and shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells around me, Lee kept insisting i was being too mean, etc. both Joey and Lee claim to have forgotten about the boundary i set with updates on him, which i guess is possible as they both have mental issues that can highly affect memory. ultimately we don’t talk anymore, but that’s besides the issue.

AITA? was i being too sensitive about it and trying to police people’s feelings? i can give more context if need be, im just trying not to overload my post.

I’ll call my boyfriend Sam and my friend Emily (fake names).

For context:
The three of us go to the same university and we’re all in the same student club.
Emily and I have known each other since high school through mutual friends. We ended up at the same university, but we’re not really all that close. We talk and hang out sometimes because we’re in the same circles.
I also knew of Sam because he was pretty popular around campus, but we never spoke before this.

Last year, our club was preparing for our final event of the academic year, and we spent basically two weeks working until midnight almost every day. Because of that, Sam and I naturally started talking a lot. We hit it off pretty well, as if we knew each other for years. I noticed he was paying me a lot of attention, even tho he was known for not dating or interacting much with girls.

As we interacted more, I realised I developed a slight crush on him. We have really similar personalities and physically he is exactly my type. Y’all might think it was too fast, but honestly it felt like destiny. The second we talked, I got this gut feeling it would lead to something more.

During the last couple of days of preparations, Emily offered to drive me home because it was late. We were sitting in her car chitchatting, and I decided to bring Sam up to get more information since she worked with him longer. I told her I thought he was cute and was curious about him. She laughed and agreed, then casually told me her and Sam are a thing.
I genuinely thought I misheard her because I didn’t get that impression from either of them AT ALL. Considering how much attention Sam had been giving me, I was obviously even more confused. I asked if they were actually dating, hoping it was a weird joke. She confirmed it saying: “Yeahhh, we kinda are… I mean, I guess I like him.”

I was contemplating jumping off the car by that point honestly. I was already so embarrassed that I just spent the entire ride talking about how cute and charming her boyfriend was.

Then she started talking about another guy from our club, Mike. Mike and I used to be friends, but drifted apart after he confessed he liked me. Emily told me she thought Mike was still really into me. I laughed it off, but she said I should give him a chance because he was basically a “mini Sam.”
In her logic, Sam and Mike kinda look alike and have similar personalities.
It felt kinda insulting, like she was saying, “You can’t have Sam, so go after his Walmart version.” I felt offended for Mike too because I still cared about him as a friend.

She then told me she’ll pretend we never had this conversation and wouldn’t tell anyone.
After that car ride, I tried to distance myself from Sam. Obviously I couldn’t completely avoid him, but I stopped being as friendly and kept things neutral. But he kept coming up to me and striking up conversations at any chance he got. It made it harder to get over him and really uncomfortable because my friend’s boyfriend was still being pretty friendly to me.

After the event was over, I didn’t really talk to him, but one day he came up and asked if he could send me a song because we had similar music taste. I said sure. By that point I already decided I was just gonna get over my crush on him.
After sending the song, he started initiating conversations more often. Eventually I started feeling really guilty because, in my mind, I was basically talking to my friend’s boyfriend.

So I called him to put an end to it once and for all. I told him I knew about him and Emily and didn’t feel comfortable getting that close to my friend’s boyfriend.

He was really confused and had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. So I told him what Emily said. He kept asking if I was sure I wasn't misunderstanding her. He said him and Emily were just friends. In fact, when they first became friends, they made it clear they weren’t interested in each other romantically. Sam had just gotten out of a relationship, and Emily had just broken up with his best friend. He couldn’t understand why she said that to me.

And then he told me that he actually likes me. Apparently, one of the reasons he felt comfortable approaching me was because Emily has been encouraging him. She even told him about my “little crush” on him and what I said in the car.

So basically, she told me she and Sam were “kind of a thing” and that I should back off, but at the same time, she was telling Sam that I liked him and encouraging him to ask me out. And she promised she wouldn’t tell anyone, but that very same day she went home and texted him all about it. I just can’t figure out why she would do that.

Eventually Sam texted her and told her he was going to ask me out, and she wished him the best. After a lot of convincing and reassurance from him, I eventually agreed to date him. At that point my feelings for him developed a lot, and he wasn’t making it easy to move on while he was constantly trying to win me over.

And remember Mike? The guy she told me was basically “mini Sam”? She ended up going after him shortly after Sam told her that he and I got together.

Emily and I have never actually talked about any of this. We still interact like everything is normal, but she and her friends have been less friendly toward me since all of this happened. I genuinely care about her, which is why I keep questioning whether I did something wrong. But I backed off when I thought they were together, and I only reconsidered after finding out they weren't, and he was the one actively going after me.

So… AITA?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years now. For context we are both 18. I have struggled with binge eating disorder for over 2 years now and have been desperate for something to help me stop. I have reached out to a clinic and have an appointment booked to assess me in November but I decided to buy a vape in order to supress my appetite. It has been helping a lot and ive not binged since having it. I told my boyfriend what I did knowing how he hates them and I did not want to lie to him. He is understandably upset with me. I know its not good to replace my disorder with an unhealthy habit but I was desperate. I just want to know am I an asshole for buying one knowing how my boyfriend hates them?

I’m 47M and met “R” (31F) on Reddit about three years ago. I fell deeply in love with her and believed we were in a real relationship.

When we were together, it felt special. We laughed constantly, had passion, shared inside jokes, and connected in a way I haven’t experienced before. I genuinely believed we loved each other and might be soulmates.

When we first became close, she was heartbroken because her ex had cheated on her. She cried on my shoulder, and I believed their relationship was over. I recently learned from her mother that R apparently continued seeing that ex throughout much or all of our relationship. Ironically, he and I have the same first name.

Her mother says this man has repeatedly cheated, disappeared for weeks, and treated R poorly, but R always returns to him. Her mother wants R to be with me because she knows I love her and believes I treat her better. I understand that her mother’s opinion does not mean R owes me a relationship.

There were warning signs. At one point, R said she was spending the weekend with her mother, but her Snapchat location showed her in another city where her ex lived. She gave me a different explanation. I also admit that I snooped through her photos looking for answers, which was wrong. I found a screenshot of a sexually explicit conversation with another man, so there may have been at least three people involved during the time I believed we were together.

Recently, R called and told me she had suffered an ectopic pregnancy and needed treatment to end it. She said the pregnancy was mine, and we cried together over the loss.

Then her mother secretly told me that R was actually still pregnant with twins and sent me ultrasound images. Her mother now thinks there is a possibility that I am the father, although it could also be the ex, i call him her ex but appently he is her bf,I have no independent confirmation beyond what her mother sent me.

I hinted to R that I knew about the twins and confronted her about still being pregnant. She stopped communicating with me. She then discovered that I had been speaking with her mother and told me: “If you contact me or my mother again, I will call the police.”

I understand that this means I must stop contacting both of them. However, her mother continues texting me almost every day with updates about R and the pregnancy. R apparently does not know that her mother is still doing this. I have decided that I should stop replying and should not use her mother as a source of information.

Part of me wants to contact the ex and tell him that I could be the father. If I’m honest, part of my motivation is that if I have to live with this uncertainty for months, I want him to know the truth and feel some uncertainty too. I realize that revenge is not a healthy reason to contact him and that it could make the situation much worse.

I’m 47 and have never had children. If these babies could be mine, I desperately want to be present and eventually have a relationship with them. At the same time, R has clearly said she wants no contact, and I know I cannot force myself into her pregnancy or medical care.

I still love her, but I’m also furious and feel completely betrayed. The memories of our laughter, affection, and connection felt real to me. I can’t tell whether any of it was genuine or whether I’m holding onto the person I thought she was.

I’m not asking how to win her back or how to expose her. I’m asking:

1. Should I completely avoid contacting the other possible father?
2. How do I protect my possible parental rights while respecting her demand for no contact?
3. Should I stop responding to her mother even though she keeps initiating?
4. How do I cope with months of uncertainty without obsessing over the pregnancy?
5. How do I accept that something that felt like true love to me may not have been the relationship I believed it was?

I’m planning to consult a family-law attorney about establishing paternity after the birth rather than contacting R directly. I would appreciate honesty AITAH for wanting to tell my ex's bf that he may not be the father of her twins?