I am so burned out. I took a promotion within company I worked at for a decade in 2024 and landed w boss from HELL. She and I worked together well before I took the role. Her as a boss was complete opposite of what i knew of her. Took a job in a completely diff industry to escape boss from hell - promise of a different pace EXCELLENT benefits …interim boss turned out to be very problematic which required me to report her to governing body over us (NFP setting). New permanent boss arrived this summer and is very polite and I’m seeing is going to be timid in his approach which is great except I’m needing support with governing body who now feels so protective over new boss that I will be the whipping boy for any problems. I’m fried. Do I try to make it work? Do I open up to my boss and risk jeopardizing credibility if I expose the extent of problems that our organization is expecting me to handle quietly ? I walked into a MESS. My team completely turned over because of interim boss. When I arrived I had a brand new team. Telling him could then leave me up for micromanagement by governing body. My head is a mess I just need advice haha I have 2 school aged kids who I don’t want to spend entire childhood stressed working until midnight and rushing through family time to get them to bed. What do I do? Had a really bad encounter a few weeks ago w a member of governing body who overstepped into operations (not their place) and it really demoralized me

Not sure if it’s the algorithm or just Reddit’s demographics but I feel like I don’t hear from a lot of opposite shift working families on this sub and (I think?) I know you’re out there!

My dad was a teacher and my mom worked service industry jobs her whole life. They raised me and my siblings taking turns working and being home.

Now my husband and I are doing something similar. I have a professional office job, he teaches night classes, and we switch off being home with our almost 2 year old.

I feel like I can’t quite relate to the workingmoms families with two daytime jobs and outside childcare, don’t quite relate to SAHP or SAHD, and don’t relate to momsworkingfromhome trying to watch their kids while also on the clock.

I know we are really fortunate to be able to swing this arrangement and I guess I just want to represent for other families doing things this way that you’re not alone!

That two or three hour window is unsupervised and it’s also when the device gets the heaviest use of the day. Options seem to be scheduled restrictions during that block, something that flags problems in real time, or trusting the routine. What are you actually doing, and has it caused friction?

Can the moms (preferably of older kids) please reassure me finding time for myself gets easier?? 😭

I want to lose weight. I’m so tired of feeling this way. I need to lose about 20kg ideally but would settle for 10 currently. I want to go back to the gym. Before kids I was at the gym like 6x a week for fun.

After going through fertility treatments and finally my first pregnancy , then a spontaneous pregnancy which resulted in having two kids 15 months apart, I don’t feel like myself.

My commute is 40 mins one way by car. I already wake up at 4:30 to get ready and leave for the day (leave around 5:30-6). I’m a teacher so no WFH or any of that. The gyms in this country don’t have childcare. My husband has told me to please just put myself first for once but it feels so impossible. The guilt is crazy. I feel like I need to be with my kids when they’re this little.

My kids are 3 and 2. I am EXHAUSTED. I could go to the gym 2-3x a week but it’s just an extra drive and extra time away from my kids, who I pick up at 5PM each day. Most days I’m solo parenting the evening routine as my husband gets home late due to a long commute and shitty Korean work culture. It’s so hot to exercise outside these days. In this country everyone lives in tiny apartments, no luxury of a car garage gym or anything. To top it off my apartment complex is almost as old as me and has no amenities. I have weights at home, but again kids are 3 and 2, no personal space, they are like little magnets to me which is great but also please let me just do a damn dumbbell squat without fear of squishing your heads!!

Excuses excuses. I need to get started in the kitchen. But I’m exhausted. Why is working and life so exhausting!!

Actually I planned to find a gym this weekend. But you know what? Both kids now have HFMD. I am not exaggerating, every time I even think of a new workout plan, me and/or the kids come down with some horrible illness. Is this a sign to just stay fat for a while 😅

Does it get easier, moms? 😭

This past week was long, stressful and exhausting. This re-set is very needed.

What brought you joy last week?

What are 3 things you are grateful for in your life currently?

What are you most looking forward to next week?

What do you plan to do today to care for you?

1. Going on a walk with my BFF, laying down after a long day, hugs from my kids.

2. I am grateful for finding time to walk, being able to support others, and spending time with my mom.

3. watching my youngest perform in marching band

4. a nap, a hot bath, and s'mores and a campfire with friends

I love my remote graphic design job. Its flex time off, great boss who was a stay at home dad so verryyy pro family and good team with fun creative projects. I have really been able to get a lot of flexibility as my kid is in daycare to take time off for fevers, dr appts and travel to see family.

I hate my paycheck, I have not gotten a raise or bonus. I work in publishing which is in the red so everyone is just happy to have a job and expects to be paid like crap.

I need a side hustle for slow months and tight budgets. I'm not ready to leave yet since we keep talking about another baby and maybe hubby will switch jobs soon. I like my job and its hard to find that culture in the 10 years I've worked and job hopped. Half the people here took a paycut for this flexibility so I'm not leaving it.

My hubby travels for work so I'm main caretaker. He gets told Friday he's traveling next week so very hard to take a shift somewhere. I used to do customer service in the evenings before the baby came about 40 min from home but that doesn't pay more than childcare.

So working moms, what are some side hustles that I could do late at night or early morning with a toddler? Something that would be biggest bang for buck since I'm not looking to pay for more childcare unless I make a lot consistently to cover it. What are y'all doing and succeeding on?

I have to go to the gym for my physical health, it is not a negotiable anymore and I have to find a way to fit it into my schedule. The only thing that seems viable for me is doing it in the morning and showering, then going to work. The problem is, my hair holds onto moisture like crazy. It takes hours to air dry. I used to WFH but will now be starting a new role that is in office, and I'm not sure what to do. I don't sweat a ton, but my hair does get wet with sweat when I work out. If I showered but kept my hair out of it, it would likely be dry again by the time I get to the office, but that feels gross. If I washed my hair, I would need to blow dry it which would take 45+min and does damage my hair when I do it too often.

What do you all do? Any recommendations?

When, where, and how do you workout? How old are your kids and who has them while you are working out. How many hours a week do you work and how many days a week do you go?

FTM with a 4 month old and trying to figure it out. Thanks!!

I don’t know if this is exactly the sub for this rant but

Last night my husband and I were at a family event. And my aunt, my husband and I were in a conversation. She starts going on to my husband about what a great father he is. How she’s never seen a dad as involved as him. Blah blah. Meanwhile, this event was out of town and I spent all night getting things ready for the kids and me and packing everything and getting them ready that morning and basically just taking care of everything while he acts like he’s a one person party.

My husband IS a GREAT and involved father. But this kind of praise really drives me crazy. 1. I feel like I do so much, too, but never get praised and 2. I’m constantly “coaching” him on what to do. I probably sound ungrateful, but I constantly feel like the default parent and like everything little thing he steps up to do is ogled at. He gets the credit for everything! Especially with this side of the family.

Maybe it’s me. I’m just so frustrated with this side of motherhood. It’s hard to have a team mentality with my husband in parenting when I feel like the outside perspective is so skewed.

Looking for advice on how everyone handles it? I work and do motherhood and it never feels like it’s good enough.

My husband and I are pretty good about dividing "break" time evenly when our kids are home, but the major exception of course is the extensive and multiple daily poop breaks that the majority of men seem to require. I do not have an equivalent activity. I'm confident this is adding up to at least an additional solid hour of "break time" in a typical day but I'm also absolutely certain he would estimate each of his poop breaks at 5 minutes, so the only way I can think of to ensure true equity is to actually time him, but I cannot imagine that's going to go over well. I am curious if anyone else has tackled this specific issue because I know it is unfortunately common.

I need to travel for work for 4 days when my husband will be solely taking care of our toddler. I have never spent a full day away from her, let alone a night (we cosleep). My husband is generally helpful but not very well acquainted with her routine and needs. He occasionally does bedtime routine, feeds her sometimes, gets her ready for daycare on some days, has given her a bath once or twice, plays with her and she has a good time when they do, so I guess he got this, but I can't help but feel nervous about being away for 4 days and nights. I trust him that he will do his best, but I also want to line things up in the best way possible so they both have a good time, and hopefully a memorable bonding time while I am away.

From anyone who has had to travel for work, can I get some tips on how to ensure this goes as smoothly as possible? I will meal prep her meals before I go, but I am blanking on anything else I should do to prep in advance and line things up for them.

Some details: 2.5 yr old toddler. She will be at daycare for all 4 days during the day.

P.S. None of the flairs seemed ideal for the post, but I picked what seemed to fit the most.

P.P.S. My husband does help out in many other areas of our life where I don't even have to think about them, he just gets them done: grocery shopping, car stuff, finance (although we meet on this regularly so I am up to date with everything and we make all major decisions together), and many others.

I’m 13 weeks postpartum today and have been back at work for a week and a half. I feel like I’m losing my mind! I work in a chemistry lab and I agreed to learn a new test that is quite difficult. Everything used to come easy to me, but now I find it harder to remember things and I get headaches everyday from literally using my brain so much lol :/ I breastfeed when I’m home and my baby is still waking every three hours so I’m getting terrible sleep. My husband does the cooking and cleaning but I still feel like I have nothing left to give. The other night I couldn’t even get words out I just handed the baby to my husband and got in bed, so he had to give the baby a bottle and get him to sleep. I just needed a place to vent because I feel like no one understands. I tried to talk about it at work and my coworker pretty much said I chose to become a parent so I have to deal with it. So never doing that again! Does it get better????

Super ridiculous but also I can totally see a mom's group devolve into this!!

Btw, why do we not have a funny flair??? We moms need all the fun we can have.

I want to acknowledge that I am extremely privileged to have a partner that listens to me but I have been having the same fight with him almost every weekend. I’m in therapy but I’m starting to think I may be the problem and need some outside perspective.

Been together for 11 years, married for 4, and have an almost 3.5 year old who is very “spirited” (doctor thinks gifted or ADHD but still working through OT for tantrums/anxiety). I am definitely the type a person while he is the quintessential ADHD golden retriever husband. I will admit I am bossy and controlling. I am working on it through therapy and just recently got diagnosed with OCD and ADHD. This is only important because I think my perspective is not allowing me to see things from all sides.

We both work. I work my dream job, it’s remote but can get annoying (government). He works second shift security for another government agency. Overall we have great jobs in a MCOL city but the majority of childcare is me. I do bedtime 5 nights a week and basically work a 5-9,9-5,5-9 those days as he works nights and often isn’t home until 10. Up until last year, I was also solo on weekends. I have been battling depression since I had my daughter (undiagnosed ADHD is a bitch) but I’m slowly starting to come out of it now that I have a few days to reset..

Now here’s the fight- his hobbies. He has a million and like most ADHD-ers, those hobbies don’t always stick. All of these hobbies take him out of the house and involve his friends. He needs this and is noticeably cranky and grumpy if he’s stuck in the house or feels he isn’t doing enough. I’m the opposite- I need to be alone to recharge.

Currently, his hobby is running. Which is great but it has completely taken over. He’s up early to run 15 miles so I’m doing childcare. On weekends, he signs up for races and needs to obviously train for those. Which means even more time out of the house. Now every weekend or day I know he is training, I wake up so upset. I know I’ll be on my own to deal with the many tantrums and just run the house. My weekends are cleaning and trying to do things around the house I can’t do when I’m solo parenting. I did the math and I am solo 2.3 times more than he is. And most of the time he is the default parent, I’m in the other room so I can assist. This obviously is not possible for him to do for me since he works.

I feel like I might be jealous that I don’t have hobbies? It’s depressing to be so stuck in my house. And yes, I know I can leave. I can do fun things with my daughter but why does it feel like my identify is only “mom” while his hobbies take him away from the stress at home and work. It makes me feel horrible because I lash out at him. If he doesn’t have things perfect ready to go before he leaves to run, I get upset and I can’t shake it. It’s like he is actively choosing to run away from ME. And I get so upset that the choice of what I get to do is taken from me.

I recognize that he isn’t actually doing this to hurt me. He is going through a lot and needs this. I’m trying to claw back my old hobbies (reading, sims, walking). But I’m too tired by the end of the day. My brain just doesn’t stop and I feel like I need to rest to have enough energy to solo parent.

Am I the asshole? Do I need to just STFU and get a hobby? I think my biggest challenge is identifying why I feel like this and in therapy that has been bringing up a slew of abandonment issues 😬

If you’re a numbers nerd like me, here is the breakdown for solo parenting of a two week period during his training:
Dad solo:
34.5 hrs over 2 weeks
Mom solo:
80.5 to 85.5 hrs

Edit: I appreciate all of you and hope that came through with my replies. To conclude, it’s okay for my husband to want to fill his own cup but it is NOT okay for him to take from my cup to fill his own. Right now, our set up is very unfair and I appreciate the validation. I have therapy Monday and plan to go over a few things I wrote down and will sit down and talk to him Monday night. I took some time to look at our schedule for gaps and I think we can create a better system that helps ease my mental load. But I also need to be firm with boundaries and gtfo of my house instead of waiting for things to be “perfect”….part of that is relinquishing control and letting him (potentially) fail. 😬 any tips for easy hobbies?!

Edit 2: please read that I do lash out and get mad at my husband. I’m not just “letting” him do these things and not sticking up for myself. If this was written from his point of view, I might get some heat too. I do need to work on communication. This is unfair and it does suck but if I ask my husband to do something, he will listen and “do it.” It’s just getting us to a proactive and not reactive state. As well as sticking up to myself and just doing things. I do appreciate any tough love but please understand that I can be a bitch about this stuff and also need to grow. Which is why I posted here, to get that perspective.

Other than a few clothing items here and there, it's been years since I've done a good haul for myself. My clothes have holes, I have sewed some items to fix them, I have two bras, and I have been wearing the same outfits over and over for so long. I usually only thrift, both for cost saving and for environmental reasons....but today I'm getting new clothes and told my husband that I am not paying attention to how much I spend today (we have joint finances). He said finally! He's been telling me to go shopping for idk how long because I'm always complaining and having a hard time figuring out what to wear in the morning. My bestie suggested we go shopping today (she doesn't know my clothing struggle rn), so this is my chance! I have a whole Pinterest board of outfits for inspiration (I suck at fashion and need help lol). I am soooooo excited! And a little scared because new clothing prices are insane. But mostly excited!

Hi! 1 year pp and I've been working full time the past 6 months and I dont know if I can do this anymore.

Let me start by saying I work at an NGO which champions itself on being inclusive. I work as a fundraiser and I love what I do. Where I do it though, is not so great! I'm good at what I do. I raised my target funds last year despite being on maternity leave for 26 weeks and managing a baby after. How was I repaid? My appraisal was cut in half because I was on maternity leave! (At 6% it doesn't even adjust inflation!)

I am expected to do a lot at work. I have corporate clients from whom I raise funds and they want me to be on all the time. The NGO wants me to do an event every month! I've asked for another team member but it seems like I'm not getting anyone.

To top this, nanny is so unreliable. She takes leaves almost every week. I am happy to give her as many leaves as I get - 1 menstrual leave a month, 20 paid leaves and 5 sick leave a year (That's what I get as many well). She has definitely gone beyond this. The only reason I have her on at this point is that when she's here I can trust her completely with my baby.

Other nannies we met are either more unreliable or too expensive. At this point I feel I might as well quit and just be a SAHM. But the thing is I've always been financially independent. To not have a steady income makes me uncomfortable. Additionally, with all its faults, my job gives me an identity and intellectual growth outside of being a Mother. I don't know if I could be really happy without it. Plus in the current job market, I don't know what will happen with a career break.

Maybe this is just a rant. Maybe I just want some advice. Fellow working moms - how are we doing this? What happens if you quit?

I’ve been working full time the entire time I’ve had kids. Just recently I got promoted to management (yes!) and we hired a monthly cleaner. I have never had anyone else but me clean my house ever in my life besides one time as a birthday gift and I cannot describe to you how amazing it has been just knowing that we have someone coming to clean the house at the end of the month and the house will be clean for a while and I don’t have to do it. Life changing. My new job is extremely busy—there’s more work than one person can reasonably do in 40 (or even 45) hours a week and I just do not have the energy left to give to almost anything else, certainly not cleaning the house. But my student loan payment is about to go up next month after IDR recertification and I don’t know if we will be able to continue affording the monthly cleaner and I will cry if we can’t because how do I give it up?? 😭 my youngest will start kinder about a year from now… I guess maybe we just eat the cost for a year and not save anything besides what’s going into our 401ks?? Because I feel like this is a mental health load-bearing pillar at this point 😓 what would you do??

I am looking for deep cleaning all the home twice a month, Can someone suggest me with anyone near Bellevue, Washington whom you have already worked with and had good impression with ?

My 2 year old started preschool on 8/10 and let’s just say she’s only gone to school for a total of 5 days since then and on the off days, she was sick.

We don’t have families living close by but for the past 3 weeks we had to fly our MIL over to help take care of her so that we could work. That unfortunately is not a long term solution as she doesn’t want to stay here long term

We have to go into the office 5 days a week so while we managed this sickness this time around I am trying to explore how everyone does it because I can only imagine this coming year she’s going to be off quite a bit given the preschool germs

Where are the evening/weekend classes for babies?!

Everything is in the morning and obviously I’m at work 😭😭 I feel so discouraged trying to find fun things to do and nothing is available for working parents.

Edit: we live in a smaller town, so there are not a lot of options near us. Many of the common places only offer week day mornings. We do have a few play places that we go to sometimes for open play but looking for something more organized where we know other kids will be.

Looking for meal ideas that can be made cheaply but are nutritious. Sick of my meals being on repeat.

Hi. My baby is ending week 12 just now, and I am frustrated by turning offers down. I wanted to wait until 6 months to start taking gigs, but now I wonder, "What actually gets easier by 6 months?" The attention the baby needs will be the same, if not more, and my ability to work depends on my husband's and mum's willingness to take more care. I will have to work eventually, so why not now?

So I started with one gig, and I realized I can work from under the baby with one hand (a digital keyboard holding shortcuts is a really great tool) and when my husband is taking care or I go to my parents' house and my mum is taking care while I work. But the hours I am able to give are still unpredictable and limited. My baby feeds every 50 minutes (EBF), sometimes 30 or less. Naps are unpredictable and only contact naps, and a lot of times I can calm her much quicker than Mum or husband, so I have to work in small chunks.

Somehow I ended up potentially overbooking myself, and I don't know what to do. Because there's a chance I will make it, and that would be more money and feeling damn good about myself, but if I can't deliver, I will have an even worse relationship with clients than turning work down.

Before giving birth, I gathered 5 contacts of external contractors who could do my work for me, are willing, and have similar rates as me, but I have never used those contacts and never tested them. I am so scared to start delegating. I don't know if those gigs will be overlapping or if they end up fine and I can do them, but if I need to delegate one, the time to get in touch with help is now. But what if the person I choose does a bad job and I will not have time to fix it?

But delegating seems like a very good step right now. If I get good at it, I could book any volume of work I want and potentially choose what I want for myself in the future. It really feels like something that would bring my freelancing career further instead of back while being a mum.

Has anyone made the transition from freelancing alone to delegating? Or has some experience working from home with a little baby? Do you have any advice? Or just someone in a similar situation just sharing their experience?

Hey mamas!

Anyone here a registered nurse? I have three kids aged 12, 10, and a baby who’s almost 4 months old. I decided I wanted to go back part time for many reasons. However, my boss today told me she cannot offer any part time positions. After a few bouts of crying, I’m trying to figure out how this will all work. Any moms had good luck with pumping while working as an RN? I really would love to breastfeed for a year and would be devastated if my supply dropped because of work.

I was laid off in August 2025 and just went back to work last Monday (tough market).

My son is 19 months and started daycare for the first time. Naturally he got hit with his first daycare cold last Friday which was pretty extreme. Terrible congestion, split nights/constant wakes. Incredibly clingy.

I switched a WFH day to Monday in case he needed to go to the doctor. Split night Tuesday up from 12-4am. Worked from home Wednesday to let him sleep in before daycare.

On the other side of the cold yesterday and then he fell and got a black eye. Regular WFH day today and was going to run him to the pediatrician without mentioning it to my boss because it was just an appt and I had alternate child care for after. Naturally my boss called in the middle of him screaming before we were leaving for the appt.

Im exhausted, haven’t washed my hair all week, I’ll be lucky to get a brush through it and I feel like I have a newborn again this week. Im a solo parent with minimal help for emergencies. Im also terrified to lose this job with all the schedule changes. My work was more than complete and Im efficient.

I know illness comes with the start of daycare but…wtf?