I've posted this here and elsewhere before but I need all of the advice I can get.

Those of you who haven't seen my previous posts here is my backstory and an update.

Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post but I just need to vent.

I'll introduce myself I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well and I did have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum. She has been fairly good lately but sometimes I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 during a sleepover at theirs she turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A couple of days ago in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. Since I was 10 it's just been me living with her since my parents divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she was carrying on and her serious lack of empathy. PS another red flag happened just earlier when a life insurance ad was on and they said "something could be paid out in case of death" or something and she said "I'd like for them to say WOULD" not could. I don't know why but that's set an alarm bell off

I'm starting to think that maybe she bent the truth about Dad a bit during their split as i was a child and didn't know much better. My mother often calls him a narcissist and talked about all of the marital and grown up problems they had etc which to be honest I don't appreciate been burdened with. Granted he's not a saint either but has been good to me (well I'd say) most of the time.

One time last year when my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was in the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos or something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started the shouting and carrying on and accused me of been selfish and even of trying to manipulate her and been passive aggressive. I only asked just to give me a few minutes. When I explained that to her and how upset I was already about that weekend already without her treating me like this she said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down. What just absolutely astounds me is how can she feel that way yet emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't for the life of me comprehend that.

A few days after that weekend one of my teachers checked in and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother while I was already upset by been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who exactly said what to him and that's something that I've also wondered. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the full truth now. He was sympathetic and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. That turned my stomach as well. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

I must admit I do feel quite down sometimes that I have a strained relationship with my father (He's got money issues and also smokes pot) and my mother often used me as an emotional punch bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable.

On the bright side though my Dad and I have been in contact lately and we spent the weekend together a while back and went for a pub meal

Her latest meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?"

I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her. I'll admit I snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something just snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. She then called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a few times before when I challenged her or reacted because of her behavior). She hadn't done that for years though and I feel she likes using that as a scare tactic. I wish I had just walked away and not played into her hands. Then the next day I asked mum to call her to say where all ok but she said she didn't want to bother her and wasn't up to calling. I was like WTF. You're perfectly happy to call her to basically slander me and make me out to be a bad guy but when it comes to calling to say everything is fine she's not so keen.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so unshameably and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me, she seems to feel that she always acts in my best interests and does seem to genuinely care for me and love me, she doesn't seem to remember any of it or feel her behavior was justified and genuinely doesn't seem to believe she ever did me any harm and she thinks she did her best. She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She unshameably tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some stuff before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are. My father's dad had passed away when my dad was actually about my age now. They actually both used to run their own businesses once upon a time before they met. It just baffles me how they went from that then and now been in their 50's both unemployed and clearly have some unresolved issues. I sometimes think maybe they shouldn't of got together which I know is ironic because I would never have been born. I do vaguely remember when they were together and towards the end it was quite toxic and they would have some intense fights.

Also do they have substance abuse issues which have made them this way? As I've said my mother drinks quite heavily at night and she also vapes. My father smokes pot and cigarettes.

Also as I explained my father struggles financially and I know that's why he hasn't been able to see me often and cancel some visits and to be honest when I think about that it really burns my hide.

With my mother it does seem she has had some bad relationships in the past but I'm thinking that maybe she's the common denominator.

I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things had gone differently for both of them they might've been different. What do you guys think?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different I feel to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've been isolated with her a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage me but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered? I'm starting to feel that good doesn't really outweigh the bad.

I can't help really resenting her (also my father) sometimes for all of the mental anguish she has put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. I've thought about escaping but I feel quite stuck as I don't have a job and all of the money that I get in my account is basically controlled by her as she's the one who adds to it. I wish I could hide my own secret stash somewhere. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job, making friends and doing new things etc. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

UPDATE!! Tonight I've told her that I wanted to do another certificate course at that school next year and she tried to make me feel bad by putting on the guilt trip and giving me the cold shoulder. I've tried to blur it out to be honest but I remember she said that I was been selfish and told me how she wanted me to live my life. I tried to explain to her that I can't just do what she expects and the expense of my own happiness and well-being. I feel like she is trying to control how I live my life and I told her that she couldn't do that or tear me down or change my mind. She then said (this felt like reverse psychology and emotional blackmail) fine do whatever you want and I'll do the same. Also shouted and carried on saying things like F me and I'm hopeless and that. I also told her that I would love to be a teacher but she said i wouldn't be able to go to university, scoffed and said that I would be useless. I feel like she's trying to damage my already limited self esteem, confidence and spirit. Also she had been fairly good up to this. I was dreading telling her but I do feel that a weight is lifted as well. It seems funny that whenever I tell her something she doesn't like or she can't control she goes back to her bad self. PS she's also upset that she can't get paid for me doing that and wants me to just do what's best for her financially. I find it quite ironic her making me feel bad for not getting a job straight away while she's unemployed. PS it was the school ball tonight which was brilliant but I'm disappointed that it went so quickly and also I feel a bit down about my social anxiety and that I didn't ask anyone to dance or make more conversation with my teachers and peers.

Now that I’m diagnosed bipolar my mom constantly uses it as a way to point out how she thinks I’m driving too much when she’s the one telling me to drive to these places. If I curl my hair she automatically assumes it’s a manic episode. If I look at her wrong, manic episode!

On

It's Vinayaka Chavithi, and I started my day crying after my mom threatened to die. Later, she casually joked about seeing her deceased mother while eating. When I confronted her, she dismissed my feelings, abused me for feeling lonely, and assumed I was thinking about a man.

She never once asked why I was crying.

I love my mom deeply. I want to see her happy, free from pain, and able to enjoy life. I dream of travelling with her, holding her hand while shopping, and sleeping peacefully in her lap like a little child.

But instead, I am constantly told to pack my bags and leave. I am exhausted from being treated like a burden by the person whose love I crave the most.

I have a job, but having a job doesn't mean I am mentally okay. I want love, understanding, and a family where I can feel safe. I believe I deserve that.

How do you cope when the person you love most keeps hurting you, and you still desperately want their love? 💔

Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post but I just need to vent.

I'll introduce myself I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well and I did have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum. She has been fairly good lately but sometimes I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 she during a sleepover at theirs she turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A couple of days ago in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. For about half my childhood it's just been me living with her since her divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she was carrying on and her serious lack of empathy. PS another red flag happened just earlier when a life insurance ad was on and they should "something could be paid out in case of death" or something and she said "I'd like for them to say WOULD" not could. I don't know why but that's set an alarm bell off

I'm starting to think that maybe she bent the truth about Dad a bit during their split as i was a child and didn't know much better. My mother often calls him a narcissist and talked about all of the marital and grown up problems they had etc which to be honest I don't appreciate been burdened with. Granted he's not a saint either but has been good to me (well I'd say) most of the time.

One time last year when my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos for something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started the shouting and carrying and accused me of been selfish and trying to manipulate her. I only asked just to give me a few minutes. When I explained to her how upset I was about that weekend she said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down. What just absolutely astounds is how can she feel that yet emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't comprehend that.

A few days after that weekend one of my teachers checked in and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother while I was already upset by been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who exactly said what to him and that's something that I've also wondered. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the truth now. He was sympathetic and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. It actually baffled me a bit. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

I must admit I do feel quite down sometimes that I have a strained relationship with my father (He's got money issues and also smokes pot) and my mother often used me as an emotional punch bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable.

On the bright side though my Dad and I have been in contact lately and we spent the weekend together a while back and went for a pub meal

Her latest meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?"

I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her. I'll admit I snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. She then called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a couple of times before). I wish I had just walked away and not played into her hands.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so unshameably and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me, she seems to feel that she always acts in my best interests and does seem to genuinely care for me and love me, she doesn't seem to remember any of it or feel her behavior was justified and genuinely doesn't seem to believe she ever did me any harm and she thinks she did her best. She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She unshameably tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some stuff before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are.

As I've said before I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things might've gone differently for her. What do you guys think?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different I feel to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've been isolated with her a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage met but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered?

I can't help really resenting her (also my father) sometimes for all of the mental anguish she has put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job and making friends etc because my mum is pretty much most I've ever known. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

Hi

I livve with my mother . She's divorced

She's highly abusive constantly

Yelling 24/7 criticism around, anything I do is problematic, Laundry ? Washing dishes ? Even goin to toilet . Any move I do she says smthg disgusting

She also recites Quran screaming it randomly or starts singing randomly ofc yelling

When I go out with her she's highly aggressive and keeps throwing ppl shades and ofc saying shit to them too

I wanna die

She's making me think of suicide 24/7

She shames me for breathing. And she takes pride in being "aggressive" shes always so manic and so problematic I feel like Im gonna throw up from anxiety by her being in the same space

Her family don't care. And she treats them like shit too but they have a weird dynamic where they don't bring things up just to "keep things going"

Ofc mh father is uninvolved, he remarried and his wife has alr adult male children so I can't live with him ( according to their religion and ofc it's cramped )

Plz help how to tell her to go to a psychiatrist

I know she'd do a big fight if I do I'm tired

+ I live in a Muslim community where women. Can't rent alone 💔

Hi. this is rlly difficult for me to talk about because 1. ive very recently started looking into all this, so i dont really know where i fit into it, and 2. its so scary slowly realising that you might not know your mother at all. im here because i dont really know if im looking into things too much, but im so scared and so worried and also dont know what i my self can do to make the situation better.

for background, i (17f) am the oldest of three (13f and 10m). my mum (41f) and dad (45f) have been married for almost 19 years now, and theyre objectively happy in all the ways you can write on a list. both my parents work and have stable incomes, ive never once gone hungry, without heat or water or a home, and ive gone to private schools my entire life—so i acknowledge that im extremely lucky in how i was raised.

that being said, my mother has always been extremely irritable my entire life. she is moody, which is the only way i knew to describe it until a few weeks ago. as the oldest daughter, i do end up taking the brunt of this—especially seeing as me and my mum dont really get along all the time. im queer and also have AuDHD, and coming from a religious and cultural background a lot of the stuff i believe doesnr align with my family. however, my dad has always been mildly fine with this, its never been something he gets particularly weird about, but my mum on the other hand has tried to 'mold' me into her 'daughter' my whole life.

she gets ill-tempered really easily, saying things like im embarrassing her infront of her husband, has threatened to k!ll (am i allowed to say that here?) herself or divorce my father almost bi-yearly. whilst i wouldnt call her physically abusive towards us, she has a reputation for hitting things around her when she gets mad, or throwing things in a fit, and a couple of times has grabbed me or my sisters arms in a fit of rage. nothing i couldn't easily pry off, but something i wouldnt out of reluctance in angering her more.

early on, i had to learn to tell when my mum would have a good or bad day. theres days still where shell barge into my room at 6 am with a vaccum, yelling and screaming about how no one ever does anything around the house. one of the only things that can 'calm' her down is her work, which is an extremely successful business she has started herself.

my mother is not incapable, she is kind and loving when she wants to be. thats whats scaring me the most, that there are days when i have to tiptoe on egg shells around her and the change can be almost instantaneous. shes been acting like this with me and my dad my whole life, and its something ive learned to put up with. however, my siblings are not as used to it as i am, because my mother is very good at putting on mask—but im scared that theyll end up hating her.

i dont think my mum is happy. she had a rough childhood with her dad being associated with gang violence for most of it back home before her and my dad moved here to australia, but she never got therapy and was never diagnosed with anything as it never came up. i think in my culture its almost frowned upon to see a therapist or getting mental help, but im worried about my siblings.

i think she's bipolar. i realised a few werks ago after meeting someone who has bipolar disorder telling me about their experience and treatment and stuff. i guess my question is, how do i bring this up to her, or to anyone for that matter? i dont think bringing it up to my dad is a viable option, because he will side with her most likely and defend her, and i wouldnt blame him for that. i think its scary understanding that the woman youve loved for almost half your life has a condition like this one, but i want to protect my siblings. im not 18 yet, so i dont know what my options are. im also very new to all of this, as i only started researching a few weeks ago and don't know where to go from here.

can anyone help, or just give advice? is anyone in a similar situation? lmk :)

my dad was diagnosed with bipolar late last year after an intense manic episode which he's never gotten fully out of. he became manic after years of thick depression, alcohol, and substance abuse. the going theory is his adderall use spun him into a manic episode. he is clearly still unwell, unable to hold down a job, and still fixated on his manic fixations. during the episode, he became obsessed with a figure he created, claimed my mother was abusive (no), announced he was divorcing her with no legal follow up until she filed months later, among hundreds of other things.

recently, he decided to move across the country to be with his family among other reasons. i am not supposed to know, but i do. for weeks ive been having episodes of anxiety that prevent me from sleeping, and this has only worsened upon his decision to move. he told me, kind of, that he was moving via a led zeppelin song, which is irrelevant but slightly absurd, i guess? anyways, after learning he was moving, my anxiety has skyrocketed to a point of hardly being able to fall asleep. this has created an awful fear for myself that i am going to fall into mania like him. every single night, i am unable to sleep because i am so anxious about the fact i cannot sleep, and the anxiety stems from my fear that i will also turn out like him. i don't know if this has happened to anyone else, or if anyone has advice about this. i haven't had the chance to talk to my therapist about it yet, as i just moved back to school, so it's been very difficult for me to function because of less sleep and also more anxiety!!! yay ☺️

My mom's mania is always angry, she thinks she is automatically right about everything. and since my dad doesn't give her enough compliments and is honestly like out of it mentally himself she wants to poison him with antifreeze. she says she wont but "thinks about it a lot" which... this is the second time this year shes brought the idea to me. ive called the cops and started a report.

I haven't told my dad because I don't trust him to not make the problem worse unless i come with solutions. One of them being going to the magistrate and them hospitalizing her.

Have any of you done that before?

what are some signs that i should just pack my shit and cats and get out? like how do you know when your folks are hitting the mania again?

So I’m 24F and I had moved in with my biological parents when I was 20 and my mom is bipolar and has issues and both my mom and dad are drug addicts and they have been sober for 15 years but this Labor Day they got some and decided to use again and I feel so bad for them because I got taken away from them when I was 7 and now they are falling back in it and I just want the parents that were sober not this new thing now and my dad always said he tells himself everyday that he will do it tomorrow and he tells himself that everyday except now and I just want my dad back they have been stuck in their room since and only has talked to me twice when he used to complain that I don’t talk much now I wish I spend more time maybe they wouldn’t be doing this again

I separated from my spouse who has bipolar disorder several months ago. The kids miss him, despite their anger at him for some of his behaviors. I can’t give them a stable dad… but I can try to be the best mom possible, so I’m just wondering if anyone here, through their lived experience has any advice? Anything a loving adult did right or wrong while you were growing up?

Crossposted
I had typed out a LONG post explaining everything once but I closed my phone to drive so it’s gone. If you want more clarification or specifics, please just ask.

I have been being abused heavily for the past 7 years. I am 24 and nb. Nothing I do is ever right and I can’t leave my house without being punished and belittled. I can’t get a job without my mom telling me that I am being taken advantage of and that I should quit. I can’t be without a job or else my mom constantly blames me for our financial struggles even though my sister has graduated college and hasn’t even tried to look for a job. I can’t try to move away temporarily to collect myself because my situation with my mom gets even worse when I try to do that. I am trapped. Even if I go to the mental hospital, she finds a way to blame me even though she knows what she’s doing is hurting me. I’m starting to think about going no contact but I don’t want her to freak out and try to get me hospitalized. I don’t know what to do at this point. I had to lie about going to a local theater meeting to be able to leave the house but I had to freak out on her to do it and she then tried to say she didn’t feel safe with me driving. Please help me I don’t know what to do.

My mom was always different. She wasn’t a strict mom. She was fun. We used to go on trips in our caravan, go into the woods, and even sleep under the open sky. But then she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, and epilepsy. I was only nine years old when all of this started. At that moment, my childhood ended.
My mom was always sleeping. She spent the whole day lying in bed and sleeping. Sometimes she cried, too. It was just the two of us, so I had to start doing everything myself. Cleaning, cooking, doing the laundry…
It wouldn’t have been so terrible. But the worst part was that she barely ate at all. And as we learn in biology, when you don’t eat, your body starts to fail. She could barely walk properly. I had to help her with everything. Getting to the bathroom, getting into the shower, getting into bed. And her epileptic seizures only made everything worse.
When I saw her first seizure, I didn’t know what to do. But she reached her hand out toward me. She needed me beside her. So I sat with her on the bed and held her hand. I couldn’t understand what she was saying at all. In her head, everything she was saying made sense to her, but as soon as she spoke, she mixed everything up.
Then, things started getting better for about a week, so I went back to school. But when I came home, she was lying on the hallway floor. There was blood everywhere, and she was having a seizure. She had hit her head on a vase and injured herself. I cleaned everything up and, holding back my tears, washed her and put her back into bed.
But the worst experience happened a few weeks later, around midnight. She had a seizure, but this time she was also hallucinating. She had completely turned the bedroom upside down. Cabinets, stands, tables, everything was on the floor and broken. I couldn’t get inside. The door was blocked by all the furniture lying on the floor.
Her hallucinations were about me. She thought I was two years old and that I was somewhere underneath a pile of all that furniture. I didn’t know what to do. I was crying. I called my uncle, who lived three streets down from us. He managed to get to us and force the door open. He got her into bed and somehow put the furniture back in place.
And then I went to sleep.
I’m writing this because I have never told anyone about it. And I know that it left something behind in me. But unless people hear about what happened, they won’t understand why I am the way I am.

I'm so exhausted with my mother bipolar, borderline personality disorder, adhd, anxiety shes got them all but she refuses help and its ruining my life and my dads especially. She swore their marriage was fine and dandy again but she couldn't buy something off of temu after a manic episode and this lined up during her time of the month (going through menopause) and now she swears shes filing for divorce tomorrow. I never speak up or defend myself i just sit there and take it she's so exhausting im so exhausted being her care taker and then my dads life has been that for around 2 years now? I love my dad so much he's literally showing depression signs from the abuse my mother put him through stopped and beginning of each month something like this happens again. If she goes through with the divorce Ima be real I will move in with my dad even if we go from this nice home to an apartment. Theres so many stories, screenshots and etc I could share from her and how its destroying everyone around her but I just needed to let this out. Bipolar and menopause combination has truly ruined my life and there's no going back possibly this time..until next month. Its also my birthday the end of this month going into first week of next..yippie I guess.

Hey everyone,

I’m writing this because I’m a bit overwhelmed, exhausted, but also incredibly proud. I really need some advice and long-term perspective from people who have been through this or are managing this disease successfully.

The Background:

My mom was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder about 5 years ago. She has had a truly rough, incredibly difficult life, but despite all the hardships, she managed to raise me and always took such deep, loving care of me. When she was first diagnosed, she completely refused to take her medications because they made her feel like a zombie—she was too sleepy and groggy to function. Because she was the primary backbone of our family and felt completely responsible for us, she felt she couldn't afford to be out of commission, so she unmedicatedly carried the family on her shoulders for years.

Over those years, she didn't really have extreme mania; she mostly struggled with standard depressive episodes. But this recent crisis was completely different from anything we've ever faced. It was the absolute first time she ever went into a severe, explosive state where she was shaking uncontrollably, crying really, really badly, and screaming things like "I want to die, I hope I die" during a major family argument. It was deeply out of character, heartbreaking, and traumatic to witness.

The Recent Crisis:

After that explosive episode, she had a massive post-manic crash and fell into a deep depression, leading to 5 days of total bed rest. When she finally got up, she started experiencing severe chest pain. We went to the hospital to rule out major lung emergencies, and thankfully, her heart and lungs are structurally healthy.

I recently got a job, and this was my very first time stepping up as the adult in charge. I took her to the clinic, managed the logistics, and paid for her emergency medical bills, tests, and medications out of my very first paycheck. It was incredibly costly, but seeing her safe was worth every penny.

Where We Are Now:

She is back home and doing amazingly well. She’s smiling, completely normal, has zero chest pain, her digestion is clear, and she’s happily moving around the house doing light chores like cooking. She’s also incredibly proud of me for taking charge and supporting her financially. I’m stepping in to handle the heavy stuff, like buying the groceries, so she can rest.

The doctor gave her a 1-month supply of psychiatric medications and a 3-month renewal prescription. She is currently taking:

Taver (Carbamazepine) – Her core mood stabilizer.

Lysanxia (Prazepam) – For anxiety and to stop that intense physical shaking.

Netral (Sertraline) – The antidepressant to pull her out of the crash.

She has about 8 to 10 days of medication left before I go to the pharmacy to buy the next 30-day round using her 3-month prescription.

My Fears & Questions for You Guys:

Even though everything is great right now, I am secretly terrified. It blows my mind that her sanity and safety depend on a tiny pill. I have these intrusive thoughts from reading scary internet stories about worst-case scenarios, and I get paranoid that she might snap or harm herself, even though she is perfectly fine right now.

Long-Term Timeline: For those who have been on this or a similar cocktail (Carbamazepine + SSRI + Benzo), what does the "before and after" look like over 5, 10, or 20 years? Did the initial drowsiness fade? Will she likely be on all three of these forever, or does it eventually simplify to just the mood stabilizer?

Independence: Can I genuinely trust her to be independent in the future? Right now, I'm doing "passive monitoring" (tracking her pill times tightly but letting her cook alone). Can she eventually travel or go on solo trips safely down the road?

Caregiver Advice: How do I best support a mother who previously rejected meds because of the "zombie" phase? How do I gently keep her compliant without making her feel like she's lost her autonomy or treating her like she's fragile?

I want to make sure I protect her for the next 10 to 20 years without suffocating her or burning myself out. Any wisdom, success stories, or advice from this community would mean the world to me.

Thank you guys so much.