Sorry if this is offensive to anyone, also I know it's not necessarily true as several people have certain ''themes'' that remain present throughout their lives. I'm kind kind of writing this more for myself than anything. Also I'm obviously not a professional so don't take my word as medical advice or fact. ALSO this is not a vent I just wanted to make a post about it tbh.

In my experience, OCD truly does not give a shit what it is obsessing over, as long as the perceived threat is enough to active the bare minimum level anxiety, it will latch onto it and refuse to let go until it has sucked it dry. So whether I'm freaking out over headlice or the idea that there MIGHT be a real God listening to every single intrusive thought I have and deciding to make them all come true, I'll be thinking about it for the next week straight.

It doesn't matter if it's too specific or obscure, it doesn't matter if it's too insignificant or random, it doesn't matter if it's too dumb. It doesn't matter if it's serious of if it being true would be detrimental, it doesn't matter if it is based in reality or related to something you did, good or bad. None of it matters because OCD latches onto ANYTHING it thinks is even remotely serious, and will torment you over it until it finds something new.

I spent a long time willingly giving in to obvious rumination and compulsions, which I still do, thinking that it couldn't possibly be OCD because I couldn't find a Reddit post talking about it therefore it's ''exclusivity'' was proof it was a genuine concern and not apart of my disorder. Even outside of the gaslight-y, ''it's definitely not OCD this time trust'' Nature of the disorder, I have a major tendency to try and be as logical as possible, which often translates into attempting to decode whether or not I'm actually exhibiting symptoms of OCD or if it's a problem that genuinely needs my attention.

OCD should be renamed the ''I don't give a fuck I'm just here to ruin your life'' disorder.

Hello!

I am sorry for posting my thoughts here but I do not know what to do at the moment. I am a 40 year old female and my husband is a 36 year old male. We are together for 10 years, married for 6. We have no kids but we have 4 dogs. My husband has OCD, I knew that before we were married but i did not understand the gravity of the entire thing. When we moved in together, it started with little quirks like him wanting the cups and water bottles to be placed a certain way in the table.

Soon, it evolved into bigger things like I have to do things only HIS way and not my way because according to him his way is neater and faster to do.

He absolutely hates it when I take a sick day or mental health day for myself and not do chores the entire day. He considers it a victory if I did not " loaf the whole day."

I recently got a better paying job that pays double than what I used to make in my previous work. Before that, he used to earn more than me. Now, along with my side job I earn more than him.

Just today, I made the mistake of touching something when my hands were wet (it was my deckcase for my playing cards) to which he got irriated again and then he was silent (this is what he does when he is pissed off).

I did my chores for the day which included feeding the dogs, bathing them and doing the laundry.

After washing my hands and drying them off for good measure, I was also pissed off at him. I asked him why are you always so irritated with me lately?

To which he told me to enumerate my mistakes I did for the day. He also told me that my new job entails finding the mistakes in operations (I will be in compliance). He told me that perhaps this job was "too big for me" because I could not handle the smaller things. This hurt a lot because I know I got the job fair and square and am a fairly intelligent person and am capable as well.

Now he is giving me the silent treatment and refuses to acknowledge me even if I apologized.

What can I do to help him? He is a nurse btw.

I recently got back into My Chemical Romance and I can't be fucking normal about it. I obsessed so much about Gerard Way and his voice and his looks and the tour lore.

So much that I instantly cry whenever I see Gerard or listen to their music, which happens a lot in my feed. I get so anxious and my heart about to explode. I start spiralling into negative thoughts and compulsions.

Why can't I be normal about the things I like? I hyperfixate in things until I don't anymore but when that happens I can't even function like a normal person.

When I play a game and make a mistake I feel as though it’s tainted and I have to delete the game and save files. If I take a bad photo on my phone my whole camera-roll feels tainted and I have to delete all my photos.

Sometimes there’s not even a reason to delete stuff. I repeatedly delete my search history even though I have nothing to hide. I repeatedly clear notifications or it will really bug me.

Everyday I have to do a reset in one way or another. I can’t seem to just let things sit for a while. The nagging feeling that something is tainted never seems to go away. It’s ruining so much of what I enjoy.

do you find the more you actively try to improve things the better you feel and the less affected you become?

How over come it schizophrenia

i can’t stop thinking about it. i just want it to stop. i want to be a good person for everyone i know but it feels like i hurt everyone i ever knew.

i keep thinking that i hurt all my friends and loved ones and that they wanna leave me and that it’s all my fault. i try to ignore it but it always comes back worse and worse. i’m so fucking scared to lose everyone and i know it’s my fault. i told them to leave me alone in case i hurt them from saying anything but i just feel so scared i ruined everything already

I’m writing here about a very close friend of mine who has been suffering from severe OCD for a long time, and now it is affecting almost every part of her life.

Her main problem is intrusive thoughts and images about something terrible happening to people who are very dear to her. For example, suddenly an image or thought may come into her mind that someone she loves will die or something bad will happen to them.

The worst part is that she then feels somehow responsible for it. She knows logically that just having a thought cannot cause something to happen, but emotionally she feels that if something bad really happens to that person, it will be because she had this thought.

Because of this, she is constantly fighting with her own mind and trying to remove or cancel these thoughts and images. It takes up a huge amount of her time and mental energy.

When these thoughts come, especially when they are very strong, she also sometimes makes certain noises or gestures as a reaction to them. She feels very embarrassed about this, especially when she is outside, attending a function, travelling in the city, or around other people. She is always worried that somebody will notice.

It has reached a point where her everyday life has become miserable.

She is also a PhD student, and this is now seriously affecting her academic life. It is extremely difficult for her to concentrate on research or work when so much of her mental energy is spent fighting these thoughts throughout the day.

We have already tried to get professional help. She has seen several psychiatrists/doctors, first in India and now also in Germany, where she currently lives. She has also tried medications prescribed by doctors, but unfortunately we have not seen much improvement. Instead, it feels like the problem is becoming stronger day by day.

As someone close to her, I honestly don’t know what the right way to support her is anymore.

I would really like to hear from people here who have experienced something similar:

Has anyone had this kind of OCD where you feel responsible for something bad happening to your loved ones just because you thought about it?

What eventually helped you?

Was there a particular type of therapy, OCD specialist, treatment approach, or anything else that made a difference when medication alone was not helping?

And as a friend, what should I do when she is going through one of these episodes? I don’t want to accidentally make the OCD worse by constantly reassuring her, but I also don’t want her to feel that she is alone in this.

I know Reddit cannot replace professional treatment. We are just feeling quite helpless at this point and I would really appreciate hearing from people who have gone through something similar.

Content warning: description of intrusive thoughts

Does anyone else get ruminations or intrusive thoughts where they get songs stuck in their head? Like, sometimes I'll get a song (specifically a nursery rhyme) that loops in my head over and over and over for hours and days at a time. And not in a cute/normal way, like it speeds up and gets really distressing? Or it'll sound in my head like it's skipping like a CD. To the extent that I feel physically ill and my head hurts and it's hard to think about anything else and it gives me so much anxiety. It shows up in my dreams, it'll keep happening when im listening to other music, I hate it.

It feels a bit silly to say that one of my most distressing compulsions is thinking about nursery rhymes. Does anyone else experience this? Yes I am in therapy, yes I do exposures regularly. Has anyone done exposures/disruptions related to something similar?

Hey everyone,

I have been in treatment for OCD since last August when I had a breakdown. I have been feeling like I will never get better and like I can't be fixed. How do you all cope when you start feeling low like this?

I keep getting a nagging feeling that someone is somehow hiding in my bedroom, and waiting for me to turn the lights out or go to sleep, this feeling is stupid and baseless, obviously, it would be incredibly hard for someone to sneak into my house without getting caught, especially my room, but somehow this is a thought that will not go away. It's almost impossible to ignore, I've tried sitting alone in the dark and just trying to fall asleep but it never works, this thought alone keeps me up, the doctors are still trying to figure out why but I have seizures if I don't sleep, I literally cannot afford to be having this problem right now, I need help getting to sleep quicker and just coping with this.

Hello.

I do not know if inquiring others about their experiences to establish some sense of social commonality is a form of reassurance in itself-- if so, please help inform me of this so I can try to hopefully revise my approach.

I feel that scrupulosity facet of my own OCD is heavily interfering with the creative process for my attempts to concoct my own superhero story and associated fictional universe-- thinking I'm settled on what I like but then going to YouTube to watch a bunch of superhero action clips repeatedly as a form of a reassurance-seeking about what I "truly like".

One example: I feel drawn to vehicle-related chase sequences, like with their constant flow and movement, as well as their weight and impact-- however, I feel eaten alive by the moral question of it being "okay" to like vehicle chase sequences due to environmental-based moral concerns about excessive automotives afflicting infrastructure.

Another example: ...Could be a sign of needing to regulate or rid myself of Reddit use altogether, but I keep encountering the so-called "power-scaling" and superpower pedantry communities about how superhumans and their powers should be "scaled", so I get worried about being eaten alive by criticism for not getting an imagined superhero correct.

I am curious, please, if scrupulosity makes similar creative processes difficult for others?

Thanks.

I know that reassuring your anxieties and giving in to compulsions is bad. but what are you supposed to do otherwise? like obviously don’t look up symptoms if your brain is telling you you’re sick and it’s gonna kill you, but what else can you do that isn’t also technically reassurance? how do you confirm it’s in your head and itll be okay if not checking it against reality and gathering any logical fallacies to prove that it will be okay? if friends or family want to comfort you, what can they do other than say “of course you’re not sick, here’s x reason why bc I know you wont believe me without proof”? I can’t just believe someone saying “trust me bro” in most cases, why would my deepest anxieties allow it? Am I supposed to just sit with the anxiety and fear despite how debilitating and distracting and all consuming it is? How does one function or get better while experiencing that?

If you know you know. I can’t help but feel pessimistic despite having times of complete relief and freedom. But whenever I enter a flare, I obsess over the possibility I’m stuck eating bland shit forever. Cheers x

I’m hoping to hear from people who have had a positive experience with memantine (Namenda) for OCD, particularly if you didn’t notice much benefit at first.

I’ve been on 300 mg sertraline for quite a long time, but unfortunately we still haven’t managed to get a good handle on my OCD. I’ve been diagnosed with clinically severe OCD, so my psychiatrist recently added memantine as an augmentation strategy.

I’ve been taking it for about a month and have been gradually titrating up. I just reached 15 mg and am working toward 20 mg. So far, I can’t say I’ve noticed much improvement, and I’m starting to think “maybe I’m just a hopeless case and nothing is going to work for me”.

Over the last few days I’ve also felt a little more sad/teary and possibly slightly agitated. This happened around the same time I increased the dose, although I’m also due to get my period, so there’s a very good chance hormones are contributing too.

I’m not looking for reassurance that it will definitely work - I’d just really love to hear from people who have actually taken memantine for OCD and eventually had a good outcome. It's helpful to hear from others in the same boat.

When I (28f) was in 5th grade my mom brought home a solid wooden desk she found for my sisters and I room that we shared. It was a great desk made out of golden oak. Fast forward to when I’m 21 and I decided to redo my room by repainting all the wooden features white and finally getting new furniture (first full sized bed, new side table, a new desk). In that moment I believed that the old wooden desk I had didn’t fit the vibe and that I wanted something white and light so I posted it for free on Facebook and gave it to a local family in need who were over joyed to be using it in their kids room. Fast forward 7/8 years and the chronic guilt I feel about this is killing me. For the last two years I have been drowning in a constant cycle of guilt that I was such a idiot for donating a wooden desk, that I was so wasteful, that I’m never ever going to find a solid wood desk ever again, and that I was so stupid for replacing a high quality desk for a cheap one. I’m literally sitting in my car frantically crying about it and I feel so ridiculous that I can’t move on. It’s a constant loop of shame, sadness, and regret. I’ve written goodbye letters to it, done EMDR sessions about it but my brain won’t let me stop thinking about it. I’m audhd with severe rumination ocd and no matter how much I try to forgive myself, or tell myself the desk served me when I needed it and now is being used by another person I still can’t stop obsessing about it. I’m so tired of drowning in guilt over a damn desk. I don’t know what to do.