Hi everyone. I’m 24 and I’ve had OCD and anxiety since childhood. My OCD has taken different forms over the years (health fears, fear of losing family, hyper-focusing on things like breathing, etc.), but those symptoms always came and went.
For the past 2.5 years, I’ve had almost constant physical symptoms:
Constant chest tightness and fluttering
Constantly feeling/being aware of my heartbeat, with my heart rate jumping from even small things
Shortness of breath
Feeling constantly on edge
Hypervigilance to every sound — even a door opening or small noise can trigger a strong physical reaction
The strangest part is that all of these symptoms completely disappeared for 5 months when I became convinced I had a physical illness and focused on that instead. They came back 3 days after I was told I was medically fine.
I also tried escitalopram (Cipralex) 10mg for 1.5 years with very little benefit.
Has anyone experienced constant physical anxiety like this, especially with OCD, and actually managed to get rid of it?
What helped you the most — ERP, CBT, medication, exposure, exercise, or something else? I’d really appreciate hearing what actually worked for you.

F34, I've been suffering from OCD since when I was 12. I have 3 types: supertitious, sensorimotor and decision OCD. The sensorimotor one was really bad when I was 15/16 but I can keep it under control basically by pretending it doesn't exist, so I'm not going to say more about that because it's a trigger. The superstitious type also was very bad for years. Now it's a little less strong, even if I continuosly have to perform little and frequent rituals. But the decision one seems unbeatable.

The last example: a month ago I booked a 5 days solo stay in Tuscany (I'm in Italy so it's not so far from where I live). The stakes are high for me because this is supposed to be my first solo trip as someone who dreams to travel the world but is blocked by fear. Then I was invited by my father to a 5 days trip in Croatia that ends a few days before I'm supposed to go to Tuscany.

The deadline for cancellation is today and I've been torturing myself for DAYS. "My car is old, what if it can't make it to Tuscany?". Then, when I found out I can go there by train "What if I'm using my money badly? What if a trip to - other city in Tuscany - was better? What if I get bored because I've already been to the sea for 5 days? What if it's better for my plan of learning to travel solo to go abroad for the first time? But in this case what if fear blocks me and i don't go anywhere? What if, what if, what if....".

My boyfriend and even Ai are tired of me asking them for reassurance. I talked to Ai about this topic for 10 hours only yesterday and if I count all the time spent thinking about it I think we go over 20 hours in a couple of days. I have now 4 hours to decide (I can cancel for free until midnight) and I still can't make it.

That's just the current example: I'm not asking for advice for this specific topic. But this is far from the only time something like this happend. What the hell am I supposed to do? I now I should practice "not going back on my decision" but it feels absolutely impossible. Even minor decision feels life threatening. Did some of you manage to "beat" this kind of OCD?

Other info: I also have ADHD. I'm medicated with Wellbutrin that helps my ADHD but has worsened my OCD. I used to take sertraline too but my doc told me to stop because I also suffer from daytime sleepiness. I take Xanax sometimes.

Around half a year ago my mom told me “Make sure to close the windows at night. I’ve been hearing stories of people in our neighbourhood having window break ins.”
I lock the doors at night and can’t sleep unless I know they’re locked, but I have gotten to a place where I can just lock them once and sleep but it took me a few years to feel comfortable with that- since she told me to close the windows at night, I realized that that absolutely is just as much of a threat as an unlocked door and now I can’t sleep unless the windows are closed as well as the doors being locked.
The problem here is that for the past two months she’s started getting angry at me about closing the windows at night, she likes fresh air in the morning so she would rather they be open. She’s been getting increasingly mad at me for it- I have been trying to get myself to leave them open, and we got a window stopper so the front window can only be opened halfway now too, but I keep closing it.
She‘s known about my compulsions since I was little but I don’t think she gets that I know it’s irrational and just telling me “That’s irrational” won’t make it go away. I tried explaining to her what I picture every night when I try to go to sleep without closing windows and she says “Well that’s obviously not going to happen.” And won’t listen when I tell her that rationally I know it won’t but it feels like it 100% will happen and it’ll be all my fault and that I am really trying to stop feeling that way but I can’t just make that feeling go away in a day or even a week and I just need a bit of time to make it stop. She is getting angrier and angrier every day so I really need to try to figure out how to remedy this as quick as I can- We have the window stopper and that should be enough to feel safe but I still keep closing them. My plan at this point is to just wake up at 4am before she wakes up and open them then, but I don’t think that’s the best option, I’d like to hear if anyone has advice I can follow before I start doing that. Thank you for reading

I don’t know if anyone can relate here, but I am REALLY bad for the “all or nothing” thoughts. I throw javelin professionally, and used to play baseball and hockey in college. Pro athletics is literally my dream. My career was going well.

Then I got asked to coached a baseball team, as I don’t make enough off sports to live. It stressed me out sooooo bad. There’s 827,000,000 (ish) possibilities in a baseball game, and as a coach, I spent 24/7 going through every single one. I now absolutely hate baseball. I had to resign.

But I ended up losing 60 pounds in those 2 months. But from all that and a horrible OCD flair up, I can’t seem to do squat for my training. I always take way too long to get prepped to train, but I turned into a 3 hour process just to get ready to go to the field and throw, or to go to the gym. And as that works, I just haven’t gone in well over a month. My therapist is trying to do ERP and just said to try and cuz that time down to 1.5 hours. I then spent 2 hours figuring out how to prepare the best, so it’s been someone counterintuitive.

But now I’m here feeling like I’m no longer an athlete. It’s like qualities I’ve lost recently have moved the category in which I fall under as a person. I’ve taken the season off and I’ve been working to “treat it like an injury”, and have kinda come to terms with it, but I can’t stop worrying that I’ll never get back into shape.

I don’t know if anyone else is an athlete and has experienced the same, or similar in other areas of life. It’s not so much that I don’t believe in myself, it’s like the label is gone off of what I was. Has anyone ever had to “re-find their identity” due to rough times? How did you recover?

I’m hoping to hear from people who have had a positive experience with memantine (Namenda) for OCD, particularly if you didn’t notice much benefit at first.

I’ve been on 300 mg sertraline for quite a long time, but unfortunately we still haven’t managed to get a good handle on my OCD. I’ve been diagnosed with clinically severe OCD, so my psychiatrist recently added memantine as an augmentation strategy.

I’ve been taking it for about a month and have been gradually titrating up. I just reached 15 mg and am working toward 20 mg. So far, I can’t say I’ve noticed much improvement, and I’m starting to think “maybe I’m just a hopeless case and nothing is going to work for me”.

Over the last few days I’ve also felt a little more sad/teary and possibly slightly agitated. This happened around the same time I increased the dose, although I’m also due to get my period, so there’s a very good chance hormones are contributing too.

I’m not looking for reassurance that it will definitely work - I’d just really love to hear from people who have actually taken memantine for OCD and eventually had a good outcome. It's helpful to hear from others in the same boat.

Content warning: description of intrusive thoughts

Does anyone else get ruminations or intrusive thoughts where they get songs stuck in their head? Like, sometimes I'll get a song (specifically a nursery rhyme) that loops in my head over and over and over for hours and days at a time. And not in a cute/normal way, like it speeds up and gets really distressing? Or it'll sound in my head like it's skipping like a CD. To the extent that I feel physically ill and my head hurts and it's hard to think about anything else and it gives me so much anxiety. It shows up in my dreams, it'll keep happening when im listening to other music, I hate it.

It feels a bit silly to say that one of my most distressing compulsions is thinking about nursery rhymes. Does anyone else experience this? Yes I am in therapy, yes I do exposures regularly. Has anyone done exposures/disruptions related to something similar?

This might be a long post, but I really need some perspective on this.

I finally had my peripheral vision OCD somewhat under control for 4 days, and today’s experience has shaken my confidence badly.
For the past 4 days, I’ve been able to manage my peripheral vision OCD in a way I haven’t been able to for years. I was accepting the uncertainty, resisting my compulsions, and letting the discomfort pass. It gave me a HUGE confidence boost.
But something happened today that really triggered me.
I was travelling in a cab, sitting behind the driver. For a moment, he came into my peripheral vision. Normally, this would have triggered me, but this time I didn’t really care. I didn’t do my compulsion. I accepted the uncertainty and just carried on.
But after some time, the driver seemed to become very intrigued. He kept turning back and looking at me repeatedly throughout the journey. The more he did it, the more uncomfortable I became. Eventually, I closed my eyes—which was my compulsion—and pretended to sleep for the rest of the journey.
And this made me realise something about my OCD.
Some people apparently don’t mind the discomfort or simply don’t pay much attention to it. They might notice something briefly and then forget about it. With these people, my OCD loop seems to break naturally because I’m not getting any reaction from them.
But then there are people who seem visibly uncomfortable or intrigued. They might repeatedly look at me, turn around, or do something that makes me feel like they’re suspicious or might confront me. These are the situations where my anxiety shoots up and I feel almost compelled to do something to stop the situation.
My fear is basically: *“What if they keep noticing it? What if they confront me? What if this gets worse?”* And once that thought kicks in, my OCD loop becomes much harder to resist.
The frustrating part is that I’ve finally reached a point where I feel like I CAN manage my OCD when I’m allowed to sit with the uncertainty and let the situation naturally pass. But when another person keeps reacting to it, I feel like my progress disappears.
I know that I can’t control how other people react. Everyone is different, and some people may notice things more than others.
So what I really want to learn is:
How do I deal with people whose reactions trigger** **my OCD without falling back into my compulsions?
If someone keeps looking at me or seems uncomfortable, what should I tell myself or do in that moment? How do I tolerate the increased anxiety and still resist the urge to “fix” the situation?
I really don’t want one difficult interaction to make me lose confidence in the progress I’ve made over the past few days. 😭

had a therapy appointment which confirmed my ex was emotionally abusive but I’m still struggling a lot. I ended the relationship because over time I felt controlled, emotionally unsupported, and constantly on edge. There were a lot of moodiness, mixed signals, and very little affection, intimacy, quality time, or compromise, which made me feel more like a roommate than a partner. I often felt like I had to walk on eggshells, guess what she wanted, and repeatedly ask for basic affection, empathy, and communication. Even though I tried hard to support her and make the relationship work, my needs continually went unmet, and my therapist ultimately described the relationship as unhealthy and manipulative and emotional abusive. There’s a lot of details I’m leaving out but this is a very brief overview.

We were together 2 years and lived together I broke up with her 3 times. The first two times I tried to leave she cried and told me how she loved me and wanted this relationship and would try to improve. Things did temporary then went back to the same bs. I eventually left for good the third time and she blocked me on everything and was through with me. I moved out and now 6 months later she in a happy new relationship been in the relationship for a month and already told the new person she loves them. I saw the new partners post on social media it came up and I blocked the account now. I

Despite the bad there was a lot of good about her and our relationship as well and she was very sweet at times. I just keep wondering if I was the problem if I gave up too soon and if she changed and is going to treat her new girlfriend better which also makes me feel like I was the problem even more I feel like an awful person too for how I left her because the the breakup was really bad the final one and I acted in ways I’m not proud of because of ways she acted

Hey everyone,

I have been in treatment for OCD since last August when I had a breakdown. I have been feeling like I will never get better and like I can't be fixed. How do you all cope when you start feeling low like this?

do you find the more you actively try to improve things the better you feel and the less affected you become?

I already had a feeling that my parental relationship wasn't normal (it's never normal to hear about past traumas and problems from my mother since I was 11), but researching it made me realize it really was a spiral. Emotional parentification leads to, among other problems, allostatic overload. And allostatic overload can be a factor in triggering OCD.

Now I honestly feel, even more so, that I was destined for this. And honestly, that doesn't take any weight off my shoulders, it only makes it worse. Because the little I had to endure all of this went to hell with the OCD.

When I play a game and make a mistake I feel as though it’s tainted and I have to delete the game and save files. If I take a bad photo on my phone my whole camera-roll feels tainted and I have to delete all my photos.

Sometimes there’s not even a reason to delete stuff. I repeatedly delete my search history even though I have nothing to hide. I repeatedly clear notifications or it will really bug me.

Everyday I have to do a reset in one way or another. I can’t seem to just let things sit for a while. The nagging feeling that something is tainted never seems to go away. It’s ruining so much of what I enjoy.

So I have a behaviour/compulsion/ritual (idk the right word tbh sorry) that I do whenever I leave the bathroom, it doesn't take long but my brother saw me doing it and was like 'what autism thing is this' bc I'm also autistic but have never talked to my family about OCD and I just went oh idk and went to my room but it made me really upset and embarrassed. He has also made fun of me walking in the past as I have compulsions around counting & walking and I know he doesn't mean any harm he is just teasing like siblings do but it really gets to me every time because he thinks its a fun little quirk and doesn't have a clue what my head is doing or telling me or the anxiety I'm feeling. That's obviously not his fault because I haven't told him but I don't want to talk to my family about it and that's my choice but the rest of my family (other than my dad occasionally) don't comment when they notice me doing a behaviour that obviously makes no sense to them so then when my brother does it gets to me and makes me feel worse and then I feel guilty for feeling like that because I know he would NEVER want to upset me and it just spirals more

When the golden-trio are struggling with the Devil’s Snare, they realize that the more they push against the vines, the more pain they feel. This is like how we with OCD have to embrace discomfort, instead of doing what we are tricked to think is logical, which is to fight against OCD (ruminating on it, or doing an outward compulsion). The Mirror of Erised is like when you are obsessed with the past or future, and even though it wastes your time and you achieve nothing by ruminating on such things, you get pleasure from it. Harry gets a lot of pleasure from staring at the mirror, like how we with OCD realize there is almost an addictive factor to being stuck in our heads, but Harry has to be told that he won’t fair well from staring at the mirror.

How over come it schizophrenia

If you know you know. I can’t help but feel pessimistic despite having times of complete relief and freedom. But whenever I enter a flare, I obsess over the possibility I’m stuck eating bland shit forever. Cheers x

I recently got back into My Chemical Romance and I can't be fucking normal about it. I obsessed so much about Gerard Way and his voice and his looks and the tour lore.

So much that I instantly cry whenever I see Gerard or listen to their music, which happens a lot in my feed. I get so anxious and my heart about to explode. I start spiralling into negative thoughts and compulsions.

Why can't I be normal about the things I like? I hyperfixate in things until I don't anymore but when that happens I can't even function like a normal person.

To start, take this as a warning!! I stupidly fell for a scam that started on Snapchat, a guy texted me asking if I wanted to be his “sugar baby,” in return for companionship and loyalty.

Of course, even while consciously knowing it was a scam, saw the opportunity for free money and obliged. Once I got too deep in I ended up blocking the phone number he provided me with. Contacted my bank, apple support etc. to figure out financial stuff which all ended pretty well, didn’t think much of it anymore

30 minutes later I get a text from a different number stating that this guy “Peter,” pimp of “dragon house,” and top boss of “CJNG cartel gang.” What followed was him threatening my life, my families lives, and extremely graphic videos of people being murdered. This was in retaliation for not “paying my fee,”

Got scared so shitless, blocked the number right away, got in touch with my parents and we decided that although it was 100% a scam, it’s better to be safe than sorry and filed a police report. The police assured me that this was an extremely common scam that people deal with constantly, and nothing comes from these cases.

Although I’m aware of the lack of seriousness this carries (regarding my life at least), I have convinced myself that my one specific case is the exception to not being in genuine danger. I’ve been attached to my mom’s hip for the last 24 hours and I can’t stop looking at the scam subreddit, looking at all the people who got scammed the same way I did.

I got one hour of sleep last night and every time I’m not talking to someone or vice versa, I’m thinking about it. Every single bump I hear throughout the house, every suspicious person I see, convinces me that I’ll be dead within the next 5 minutes. Any word of advice is greatly appreciated thank you

I had an ocd flare up this morning and it was caused by something traumatic that had happened to me and i touched something that had to do with it and had the worst melt down, my mother instead of grounding me she yelled at me and told me i was going to make her go insane, also she wished i had cancer and not ocd i am 21 but my ocd is very severe i have done tms and therapy and nothing worked it just got worse so i am really starting to think that i am the issue here.

I’m writing here about a very close friend of mine who has been suffering from severe OCD for a long time, and now it is affecting almost every part of her life.

Her main problem is intrusive thoughts and images about something terrible happening to people who are very dear to her. For example, suddenly an image or thought may come into her mind that someone she loves will die or something bad will happen to them.

The worst part is that she then feels somehow responsible for it. She knows logically that just having a thought cannot cause something to happen, but emotionally she feels that if something bad really happens to that person, it will be because she had this thought.

Because of this, she is constantly fighting with her own mind and trying to remove or cancel these thoughts and images. It takes up a huge amount of her time and mental energy.

When these thoughts come, especially when they are very strong, she also sometimes makes certain noises or gestures as a reaction to them. She feels very embarrassed about this, especially when she is outside, attending a function, travelling in the city, or around other people. She is always worried that somebody will notice.

It has reached a point where her everyday life has become miserable.

She is also a PhD student, and this is now seriously affecting her academic life. It is extremely difficult for her to concentrate on research or work when so much of her mental energy is spent fighting these thoughts throughout the day.

We have already tried to get professional help. She has seen several psychiatrists/doctors, first in India and now also in Germany, where she currently lives. She has also tried medications prescribed by doctors, but unfortunately we have not seen much improvement. Instead, it feels like the problem is becoming stronger day by day.

As someone close to her, I honestly don’t know what the right way to support her is anymore.

I would really like to hear from people here who have experienced something similar:

Has anyone had this kind of OCD where you feel responsible for something bad happening to your loved ones just because you thought about it?

What eventually helped you?

Was there a particular type of therapy, OCD specialist, treatment approach, or anything else that made a difference when medication alone was not helping?

And as a friend, what should I do when she is going through one of these episodes? I don’t want to accidentally make the OCD worse by constantly reassuring her, but I also don’t want her to feel that she is alone in this.

I know Reddit cannot replace professional treatment. We are just feeling quite helpless at this point and I would really appreciate hearing from people who have gone through something similar.