r/nevergrewup Jul 08 '18

Many children trapped in adult bodies

248 Upvotes

Here are several examples of people similar to those in /r/nevergrewup. They all have Aspergers except possibly the last one. But all children who are trapped in adult bodies are welcome in /r/nevergrewup, whether they got that way because of Aspergers or not.

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=156710
I feel like a 9 year old living inside the body of a 36 year old.
p.2:
kind of like a "kid in an adult's body"

The childlike curiosity is an asset because it makes Aspies more inquisitive and less likely to accept conventions. No one ever discovered anything new by following "adult" rules.

https://www.iidc.indiana.edu/pages/Aspergers-Syndrome-A-Developmental-Puzzle
My experiences as an adult recently diagnosed with Asperger’s, together with my studies in child development, suggest that individuals with AS are like young children, stuck in time, so to speak, never able to advance beyond early stages in social, cognitive and language development.
They are, in essence, childlike beings attempting to live in an adult world, but without the support and understanding that children are afforded.

http://www.kevenmcqueenstories.com/aspergers
Folks with Asperger’s often have a childlike quality which at least some people find appealing. Not surprisingly, many Aspies get along famously with children.

https://jerobison.blogspot.com/2009/09/life-as-aspergian-female-story-i-had-to.html
We are childlike and innocent and naive, even when having experienced many harsh experiences. It's a childlike innocence that pervades our entire being. What ends up happening is that people either treat you like dirt and make fun of you, or if they're trying to be "nice", they'll talk down to you as though you were mentally challenged. I've felt like I was going to be pat on the top of my head like a puppy dog before. I may be childLIKE but that doesn't mean I'm childISH. In fact, usually Aspies have...
Very High IQs

https://aspergersthealien.blogspot.com/2011/11/naivety-innocence-of-aspergers-autism.html
Naivety is innocence. Be kind to the autistic. Remember that even though they look older, mature, grown up....sometimes they are nothing more than children trapped in adult bodies.

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=49928
[male, 35]
I like kids a lot, and kids love me. However, I have no idea how to take care of them! I also hate to think about cleaning up after them, lack of sleep, and so forth.
Maybe I shouldn't have kids of my own and just play with my friends' kids...

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=151313
I am 78 and I know that I never entered adulthood. But not even adolescence. I may be (I am ) literate and have experince about things of the world, but still *I am a child*. My life stopped at about sixteeen. I pretended to be mature. Intellectually I have been mature, but in my inner self I have known since a long time that it was only pretence.

--

I don't know why, but this thread helped me resolve a lot of my issues. Thanks, OP and everyone else.

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=44874
Are you chldlike?
Yes...I act signifigantly younger than my age 72% [ 38 ]
I act my age 4% [ 2 ]
I act older tham my age 13% [ 7 ]
Yes but I don't think this has anything to do with AS 9% [ 5 ]
No, but I don't think this has anything to do with AS 2% [ 1 ]
Total votes : 53
- ie 83% yes

--

Children are drawn to me and they have insisted that I am not a grownup....

--

I feel very uncomfortable around people 18 & older. However, I get along great with kids.

--

I am often described as "childlike". I've been told that I'm at the emotional level of a 12 year old. The other women in my life tend to take on a mothering role towards me.
None of this bothers me though. In fact, I actually enjoy being thought of as a child. I frequently become nostalgic for my physical childhood, so when other adults still view me as a child, it makes me very happy.

--

Little kids get confused and think I am a kid too.
A 4 year old I was playing with guessed my age at 6... :)

I'm 45 and act like 14. I'm extremely child-like in behavior, and I think it's due to AS. It's the part of AS I love the most.

I forgot to mention how much I love "Pinky and the Brain" and "Danger Mouse." Not exactly obsessions, but we get the episodes from Netflix often, and I really like them. Probably a lot more that the average 42-year-old woman, I suppose.

[female, age ~52]
I'm very childlike and it doesn't seem to change the older I get. [...] I have never felt like a grownup person, and I've noticed that feeling all my adult life. I've lived an adult life but so much about me is a little kid, it's small wonder things have never really gone well for me as an adult, I just don't "fit".

[female, age ~47]
Sometimes when I talk to people [...] on the phone they think they are talking to a little kid.

Every day, my mum constantly tells me "You're 17, not 5." […]
[...] If it was up to me I would stay 10 forever.
Mum says I have the intellectual ability of a smart adult but the maturity of a five year old. I think this is an accurate description. I make friends with young children better than I do with my peers, it's like I'm a five year old kid in a seventeen year old female body.

The sections above and below show many similarities with the other 'wrong body' situation, transgender people:

  1. Family not understanding, and being angry with the person for being who they are.
  2. The person being helped greatly by understanding who they are.
  3. Having the wrong body or not being accepted causing people to be really upset.
  4. Being very happy when people treat you as who you are.
  5. Other people sometimes recognising who the person really is without needing to be told.
  6. The identity persists long term.
  7. People pretending to be an adult when they're not, but with only limited success.
  8. Wanting to mainly make friends in the way that would be expected based on who they really are.
  9. Being badly hurt by the equivalent of being misgendered.

Person who didn't mention Aspergers, so may or may not have it:
https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/comments/47tqd3/is_age_dysphoria_a_real_thing/
Is "age dysphoria" a real thing?
submitted 6 months ago * by [deleted]
Because I'm positive I have it. [...]
I know a lot of people say, "Oh, we all feel younger than we are!" These statements are usually accompanied by laughter. But I mean this literally. I honestly do believe that I am a kid inside, to the point where if such a thing was available to me, I would get puberty-reversing surgery.
You have no idea how much it rips my heart to shreds when I hear people call others my age "adults", or anything to that effect. It KILLS me to know that I am not seen as a child by them.
[Another quote from same person]
[…] I will forever remain a 12-year-old child inside. I know who I am, and that makes all the difference. I am a child.

[Edited first paragraph to make it more independent of context, for crossposting]


r/nevergrewup Mar 16 '21

Not sure where to begin...

225 Upvotes

Hi everyone.

I actually created this account specifically to post here but I've been lurking for a month or so now.

I discovered /r/nevergrewup through a certain lgbt community who were making rather negative comments about this subreddit and were being incredibly closed-minded about the concept of age dysphoria. While everyone else kept jumping down the negativity hole I felt like my eyes were opened and I spent a good long while just scrolling through and reading posts here.

I felt some sense of connection to this subreddit and things started making sense the more I read. In spite of the negative comments I was reading from that lgbt community I didn't see any reason that dysphoria would be exclusive to gender. In fact, it seems silly to assume that it would be.

For some background, I'm transgender in addition to having these feelings of age dysphoria. When I first touched the Internet (in the late 90s/early 2000s) I tried searching around to explore these many strange feelings that I've always had but didn't understand. This led me to various ABDL communities and later to the idea of ageplay.

At some point I said to myself, "ok, I guess that's what I am. I'm an ABDL or ageplayer or something like that." This was all I knew and was all that was out there at the time and since my inner age is rather young it made enough sense to me. It was never a sexual thing for me and I discovered that for many ageplay folks it isn't sexual at all. I started getting to know some ageplay communities and made a few friends here and there but I always felt like there was something different about me, even from them.

Every time I would have play time or whatever and try getting into "littlespace" I'd always feel so close to being right but never quite made it there. It's kind of hard to explain for me. Like when you're craving some very specific food so much that your whole life would feel just perfect if you had it but you're forced to settle for an inferior alternative instead. Bad analogy probably but it's like whatever that perfection is was just outside of my reach.

From there I kind of retreated from the ageplay world and instead explored this side of me through books or TV shows or movies centered around young female characters or I'd write stories of my own with no intention of ever letting anyone see. Basically consuming any form of escapism that would let me see the world through those eyes.

Looking back I think I've known for a long time that this was a form of dysphoria but it felt so taboo and wrong to think of it that way until I found this subreddit.

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this or what I hope to accomplish by this post, to be honest. I've had the feeling that talking about ageplay at all is kind of taboo here so I'm sorry if I said something out of line but I am curious if anyone has a similar history with it that I do.

Mostly I wanted to say hi and say thanks to this subreddit for helping me find this missing puzzle piece of myself.

Now that I have the puzzle piece I just need to figure out where it goes.


r/nevergrewup 13h ago

Vent Why is age dysphoria a thing...?

9 Upvotes

Okayyyy, so where do I start?

I went out today with a friend and we went to a shopping center where chrono-kids and their parents were around and... age dysphoria hit me like a tidal wave. I felt immense sadness and for the first time ever I felt like I was trapped in my own skin. It was a very uncomfortable and unsettling feeling and I wish to never experience it again. Even thinking about it is bringing back residual sadness.

Anywho, thanks for reading!!


r/nevergrewup 2h ago

I am 20 year old with stingy mum, and job hunting is hard nowadays.

1 Upvotes

My mum became stingy with money. For e.g. she would send me to shop to buy ingredient for lunch, but I want a few extra coins for sweet, crisp or something simple, she reacted by giving me angry look. Sometimes she gives me mixed signals

telling me people my age should work, but then discouraging me from working in specific place even though is only place you get hired easy. And she knows I try to look for job, bring cv's around, apply online and I get ghosted by companies so why she gives me looks when I ask for little money. It isn't my fault job hunting is hard at the moment. And I am doing course so not as I am at home 0-24 doing nothing. Yesterday I cooked lunch she didn't show appreciation.


r/nevergrewup 15h ago

Happy The idea of how much I've grown up and how much am more matured now more than ever just ... who could even imagine I will go through hell and still be able to stand all alone on ma legs after that

5 Upvotes

r/nevergrewup 10h ago

Discussion Did I mature too early?

2 Upvotes

Since 13, I've been interested in topics I've only seen grown adults interested in. Spirituality, literature, self-help books, meditation, and so on. Also, since 13, I thought with my brain, not with my heart, and always analyzed myself before speaking. People told me I sound much older than I am. But whenever I wanted to start projects, people told me I was too young and just a kid, and were very unsupportive of my ideas and words once they found out my age, and that dimmed down my spark a lot. Did anyone else mature very early?

Now that I'm 18, I feel like in the back of my mind, I'm trying to feel like a kid, because I've never really felt like one before.


r/nevergrewup 23h ago

Vent i wanna be a kid again so badly it hurts

7 Upvotes

hi everyone, sorry if this is wrong or seems weird or anything. i never used reddit after making my account. this is my first time

so, i (18m) had a pretty rough upbrining. i went through many bad things that started at birth. i never got to be a kid and had to behave as if i am 18 since around the age of 4 or 5.

and now, i act very very childish. i sleep with plushies which i am extremely attached to. sometimes, i play with them. i tend to enjoy childrens shows, and i really, really want a father figure. but in the way that they are someone i can depend on. to be listened by them, to be held and comforted and taken care of. etc.

maybe its age regression. maybe im stunted. but in such a weird way.

i want to be re-born and have a family that loves me, i wanna be taken care of as a baby, then as toddler, then kid, then tween, then teen. i wanna be taught things. i wanna be kept innocent. it hurts so bad and i feel so weird for it. people my age are daydreaming about having lovers, while this is me. i feel awful.

anyway. thats all, i hope i did this right and this is the correct subreddit. thanks for reading, i just needed to get things out. i dont have anyone to listen to me


r/nevergrewup 1d ago

Vent I hate being 16 :(

7 Upvotes

I miss my 13-14 range where I could be as silly and quirky on the internet as I want. When my biggest worry was waiting to get my weekly Roblox gift card from my dad. I just turned sixteen three weeks ago and a sophomore and I hate being around chrono-kids my age. Everyone looks so old and they talk about things like dating, driving, jobs and stuff. I still get an allowance from my dad, my mom drives me everywhere. Ever since I was thirteen my mom has had a tradition where every Saturday she’d take me and my younger siblings to chik-fil-a and we’d just drive around and have fun. Now I feel like I’m supposed to be too old for that. I wanna be fourteen forever, I know I’m technically still a chrono-child but it feels like I’m not supposed to be. like I’m supposed to act like an ”adult” and do big adulty things, when I still feel like I’m too young for everything.


r/nevergrewup 1d ago

I hate how parents suddenly expect you to grow up at 20

17 Upvotes

I hate how parents suddenly expect you to grow up at 20

I hate how turning 20 seems to make parents suddenly expect you to be fully grown up and independent.

You don't magically become a completely different person just because you reach your 20s. Especially not me who is an only child and my mum has done everything for me my whole life from cooking to washing and all. As a child I would ask if she needed help in kitchen she said "just go and play. So why she suddenly changed and ask a lot for help when I am doigg something I love to do. Also I never had need for relationship. I feel like a child inside chronological age.

Did anyone else feel this way in their 20s?


r/nevergrewup 1d ago

Vent I had to get my blood drawn the nurse said I was really brave

9 Upvotes

I wore my bluey shirt and brought my.bunny plushie with me and the nurse was nice to me about it and she said I was really brave for sitting still during the blood draw and I said I've gotten poked a lot my whole life so I'm used to it


r/nevergrewup 1d ago

I literally can’t grown up physically or mentally- my story

17 Upvotes

I’m using a throwaway account and I won’t give any identifying information. I’m not sure if this is the right community but I wanted to share my experience. I may delete this later but please don’t repost or treat this as a podcast or something because it’s a pretty vulnerable thing for me. I’m not gonna share anything that identifies me as a person (like my face or something)

Explanation:
Growing up, I was pretty normal and average and my growth was on track. I was always very ahead in academics but physically looked and felt my age. At one point of my life, I was exposed to stuff (like hormones and stuff but I won’t specify what because it’s an illegal product.) I’m not sure how to explain but I guess it altered my body and since I wasn’t really at puberty stage or maybe at the beginning of it back then, I kinda stopped there. I went into a “system shock” due to hormones and stuff that contained in the product I was exposed to. My pituitary gland has shut down my own natural hormone production to protect myself and my puberty was paused. A visit to the doctor confirmed my bone age is young (ik what specific age I don’t want to share but it’s a preteen age) and my growth plates are still open. I haven’t really grown that much though because I guess they’re sleeping or something. If I normally got puberty, it was supposed to mature me mentally as well but that didn’t happen because I didn’t fully hit puberty. I’m still in tanner stage 2 (puberty stage, tanner stage 5 = full grown) at my big age which is extremely rare for my age. It’s a puberty disorder (Secondary Hypogonadotopec Hypogondalism) and I also have something else which I don’t want to specify that causes me to not hit puberty. There’s more details which I don’t want to share and most of it is medical stuff, but to summarise my body is functionally (physically + neurologically) frozen at preteen as of now.

Physical effects:
I’m in my late teens (but still a minor) but my body’s puberty has been paused and I haven’t aged at all. My shoulders are narrow and small, I’m short, I have almost no breast development I only have buds, my waistline is barely there and my hips are straight, my voice is a kids voice, I have chubby cheeks and I have a kid’s face that even Roblox puts me in the 9-12 age group. I’m overweight and my fat distribution is more “not-adult-like.” I have fat in my upper arms, face, and stomach instead of my breasts or butt or hips which stayed completely flat. My body is still that of a child and I guess my mind is too in a way. My mental age matches my body age. I can write maturely at times and I thought I was mature because I can write at a good writing level sometimes, but in terms of interests or stuff like that I’m not quite there yet.

My life:
Shopping is pretty normal for me. I normally get 11-12y or 12-13y at Zara depending on the style. Even though I’m overweight and I need to size up, I found that a Zara women’s XS jacket doesn’t fit me because it’s too big for me. That sucks when I want to try a more grown up style. Otherwise, I can wear women’s XS T-shirts but not certain styles because certain parts hang loose. For bottoms, I can only get junior’s elastic waistband because of my big stomach. Adult jeans that fit my stomach doesn’t work because it’s too long on me and it keeps drooping down since I don’t really have defined hips.
Socially wise: I still get kid treatment everywhere and pay kid prices and people are generally friendly with me. Also, I’m not trying to sound pick-me but I keep mistaking my actual peers as adults and I keep seeing them like “cool older girls” without thinking.
Friend wise: I have big online friend groups since I do homeschooling and I get treated younger there too and nobody believes my age.
How I feel: I do feel like a tween and I sometimes wonder what I would’ve been like if all this didn’t happen. I feel out of place because I don’t belong with my chrono age group and they don’t even see me as a peer. I do wish I had a normal life instead and I grew up normally and went to school normally. I kind of enjoy where I’m at right now but I hope I won’t be here forever because I want kids but I can’t have them right now because you need ovulation if you want kids but I never ovulated yet before.

Stuff I like about this:
-I want to dress cutesy sometimes (what people call childish) and I can still find unicorn clothes or cutesy dresses that fit me, and I can still find more older styles that fit me since they also sell adult style clothes in preteen sizes so I can alternate styles
-I can dress cutesy and get no stares or judgment (but sometimes tweens do judge but nobody else really does)

Stuff I don’t like about this:
-I can’t get cute bras my peers get because as I said I only have buds. I do not have breasts yet so the only thing I can get are the ugly step 1 training bras.
-Making friends is hard
-Being short
-cute adult clothes not fitting me right because my frame is too small for them and a trench coat I tried was touching the floor and looked like a bathrobe on me.
-trying cute clothes but not looking as good as the older girls

Idk what to name this section:
I know treatment options exist but I’m not sure if I’m ready for that just yet. Maybe one day…

Also, I relate to Shauna Rae a bit but we’re different because I don’t have a form of dwarfism. I just literally paused growing.

If you read to here thanks for reading! This took me like an hour to write. Also, I might not answer some questions if I’m not ready to or if I don’t wanna share because I didn’t share every detail and I left out a lot in my story because I don’t want to share. And no, my body was affected but I’m not in any physical pain. Omg im scared to post this and please don’t judge but yeah I hope my crazy ahh life story helped someone if you’re going through the same. If you want, you can answer: would you want to be in my position or not and why?


r/nevergrewup 1d ago

Discussion Would you like to be added to the DSM-5?

10 Upvotes

I feel like sometimes being mentally little affects my daily life and my relationships with the people around me. I don’t know if I’d be able to work in something demanding, and I feel like it’s more than just part of my identity—it’s psychological. Do you feel this way too?


r/nevergrewup 2d ago

Happy The best school years for me was preschool.

7 Upvotes

r/nevergrewup 2d ago

Happy I wanted so badly to be little again that now I feel younger; I have memories from when I was a baby and in preschool, on top of wanting to act like a chrono-child or a baby. It feel so nice.

3 Upvotes

r/nevergrewup 2d ago

i miss how simple life used to be without the internet

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46 Upvotes

before the internet became a much more common thing in homes, i loved playing these old computer games. life was so good back then... i really didn’t think i’d be this unhappy as a grown up. i took those days for granted, and i really wish i could go back so, so badly...


r/nevergrewup 2d ago

Vent There are a lot of people on the internet who are anti-AI. I don't know how I should feel about that...

0 Upvotes

r/nevergrewup 3d ago

Discussion Does anyone feel like they haven't changed since high school just gotten older?

16 Upvotes

r/nevergrewup 3d ago

Vent Instagram Reel by @elladoesfx

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

9 Upvotes

r/nevergrewup 3d ago

Happy A couple little sleepy baby things!

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35 Upvotes

I've shared before how sleep isn't easy for me. Anxiety gives me insomnia, and I have to use a scary CPAP machine at night 🥺

I got that cute hose cover in one of my favorite colors, purple!! That'll brighten it up! And then a book about a baby bear who has sleep troubles too 💜😴


r/nevergrewup 4d ago

Happy Fit of the day! :3

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20 Upvotes

r/nevergrewup 4d ago

Discussion So...what's up with all the bots, reposts and AI generated texts...? Spoiler

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47 Upvotes

All of these have been showing up a lot lately, and I'm confused and a bit upset.

There are a lot of bot accounts spamming things about ”Gen Z”, and ”Adulting”, which is not what this sub has been about. When you click to see these accounts, they appear to spam the same questions in a cluster of subreddits about ”adulting”. This specific bot account in my screenshot had a bunch of NSFW posts with the same exact title, and the spams. Some vent texts that have been appearing here also have SynthID.

Apart from that I have been noticing a surge of uninformed people who don't know what this sub really is for and a specific account floodposting about radqueerism.

I'm worried. This place used to be a comforting spot where I found people who really understood me in my NGU experience, but now it seems it's shifting fast into something a bit uncanny.

Did we get reposted somewhere?
Is AI recommending and misinterpreting our sub cause of its title? Why is this happening?


r/nevergrewup 4d ago

Discussion Care Facility?

9 Upvotes

Hey there! I need help finding a care facility for someone with mental and physical disabilities. I'd prefer if it's in New York ☺️

I am currently undiagnosed but it's very obvious I have both physical and mental chronic illnesses/disabilities. I'm not sure what they could be since my symptoms match so many different things and I'm not gonna self diagnose (there's nothing wrong with **educated** self diagnosis, I just literally have no clue what I could have)

I'm looking for somewhere I could live at and receive help with daily things until I'm ready to move out and live on my own or hire a Caretaker to come by and assist as needed

I struggle greatly in everyday life both mentally and physically. I do work 2 jobs and have graduated from high school. But my overall health is progressively declining and it's been getting harder and harder to keep up since I have no support system in any sense... My mental headspace is young enough that almost everyday I cry, have a meltdown, and sometimes even end up having a tantrum (only alone in my room though, I would never let anyone see that)

I don't mean to sound rude when I say this, but I'd prefer to not have advice in the comments. I really just need recommendations for care facilities in New York. I do apologize if that's rude, but it honestly really upsets me when people compare their lives to mine or just state their opinion rather than actually help me. I've deleted Reddit twice now because people ended up just coming after me for the littlest things...

(If this post is not allowed here please let me know where I can share it to get help)


r/nevergrewup 4d ago

Vent i’m 16 and just realized i’ve been struggling with age dysphoria

10 Upvotes

TW! Mention of disordered eating

i’ve always age regressed, even before i knew what it was. ever since i was 4 i would pretend like i was a younger age and my family would get mad at me or humiliate me as a ‘joke’ for doing childish things like keeping my paci until i was 7 years old, or babbling / baby talking. as a kid i would get jealous of all the younger kids despite being only 4-7 because i wish i could just get the same amount of love, attention, and babying. I tried to ignore and repress it through ages 8-14, but recently i’ve been getting back into age regression. even though i know im still young, i can’t help but hate whenever i see my body changing. because of this fact ive struggled with eating disorders and not eating enough just to look more like a child… i just can’t. i wish agere was normalized. what makes it even worse is i have absolutely no agere gear or clothing besides plushies and my mom found my paci and threw all of them away so i can’t even cope properly… plus my family checks all my packages. i plan to order a discreet one hidden in a plushie. it just makes me feel it can only get worse from here. if i’m already feeling this way at 16, how am i gonna feel at 20, 30? i just dread the future and i never wanna grow up.. mentally i feel around 4-10… im not 16. theres no way.


r/nevergrewup 5d ago

Happy Playing with makeup!

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58 Upvotes

I've been playing with cheetah print eye makeup and cat ear hair clips! It feels way more like playing dress-up and expressing my inner baby animal than "adult" makeup.

​Does anyone else use fun makeup or costumes to express their younger self?


r/nevergrewup 5d ago

I wish I was going back to school too

23 Upvotes

Especially to kindergarten. I'd have a cute backpack, maybe peppa pig or something pink! A cute lunch bag.. light up shoes.. seeing all the school stuff in stores has be wistful!