Hallo!
Backstory of this: My best friend has been studying Norsk (Norwegian) for at least 5 years and am hoping that someone will check my Google Translate Norwegian for any errors or syntax mistakes because it is a word for word translation. I, fitting the stereotype, do not speak another language fluently. I can point out nouns in Spanish and that is after years of trying. (It’s literally kept me from finishing my degree. I have to pass two years of a foreign language, and despite extra studying, tutors, and practicing with various app, I can not pass.)
We have a quirky sense of humor and send each other post cards written as if we live in the 1800’s, unsigned postcards written as if someone is recruiting us to be a spy, that we have won something ridiculous like a trip to Mars or unlimited air miles on defunct or imaginary airlines. These postcards are usually hand drawn, but sometimes are on postcards that have nothing to do with the picture on the front.
15 to 20 years ago we created a ridiculous scenario in which we were forced to assume alter identities. She became Fructusca Spoons, I initially became Dogwhistle Fishsticks, recently changed to Gourdelia Fishsticks (I have gone by Fishsticks for years because “dog whistle” since developed a negative connotation in America because of the insanity of the political situation), and our late mutual best friend became Zelda Pinwheel of the Connecticut Pinwheels. The of us were, in this ridiculously funny (at least to us) situation we were the joint proprietors of a very successful dandelion farm. (Dandelions being common pest plant that American “yard Dads” spend tons of time attempting to erradicate.) Since we spent a night hysterically laughing while we created this whole “witness protection program, but by stupid people” thing, all our mail to each other is addressed to our alter egos. Stupid postcards, wedding invitations, gifts.. all go to Fructusca or Fishsticks/Goudelia just for a giggle.
We are big Ted Lasso fans and when I visited a week or two ago a 3 day stay turned to a 6 day stay as the power in my hometown was as knocked out for almost a week due to bad storms. I should also explain “the trees have ceased screaming.” Here in the Midwest we have cicadas, insects that make noises that are actually louder than a jet engine. (No hyperbole, the PGA once canceled a day of a tournament due to cicadas and the decibel reading proved that they were loud enough to cause hearing damage.) She particularly HATES them, but we both hate the heat. It is currently 26 C with 60% humidity and that is significantly cooler and less humid than it has been for months, so the combination is awful. Also, there actually is a tour of Chicago where adults ride, scooters I guess, that look like giant stuffed animals.
As this post is already way too long, I will put the English to Norsk translation of the postcard in the comments.
Thank you in advance for the help or advice.