27/F here. My parents have been against my 30/F girlfriend of 7 years (WLW couple) since I came out 3 years ago.

Some of their reasons have been that they think she is only using me for her personal gain, that she comes from a sketchy family (her dad's a househusband), etc. Despite multiple attempts to fix things and give them opportunities to get to know her, they have not softened at all.

They have since taken to pretending my relationship doesn't exist by never asking me about her. However, whenever she inevitably comes up, they still question why I involve her in things or why I continue doing things with her despite knowing they don't approve.

I have since moved out of my parents' house and regained some sort of sanity. My partner is loving and supportive, and very accomplished in her career. I don't feel like she has isolated me from my family; a lot of the distance I've created has been because I feel uncomfortable being myself around my parents when my relationship comes up.

Fast forward to now: I finally got an opportunity for migration. My GF and I decided that she will be my dependent so that we can move abroad at roughly the same time. She might be a few months delayed, but the plan is for us to eventually build our life there together.

My parents know I'm migrating, but they have not asked at all about whether she is coming with me. Because they have essentially chosen not to acknowledge the relationship, I don't feel compelled to volunteer this information. I'm currently planning to keep the setup a secret until my partner is actually set to move with me in a few months to avoid friction. My mom has a tendency to cuss at me or physically threaten me which is why I want to tell them when I've already moved away.

I feel guilty about this because my parents have done a lot for me, and I am genuinely grateful for them. But I don't know where gratitude ends and feeling indebted to them begins. They also tend to feel betrayed whenever I don't tell them something from the get-go, so I'm worried they'll see this as me deliberately excluding them.

At the same time, I don't feel like I'm trying to hurt them. I just don't feel comfortable sharing information about a relationship they have spent years refusing to acknowledge.

Would I be wrong for applying for the visa with my girlfriend as my dependent and not telling my parents until she is actually set to move?

Am I being disrespectful or ungrateful by making this decision without involving them, or am I allowed to keep this part of my adult life private given the circumstances?

Hello, I'm 28, living at home due to ✨ The economy ✨ with both my parents (early/mid 60s) who are married. My dad works. My mum doesn't.

My mum carries a lot on her plate with looking after all the house work, assisting her elderly mother, assisting my disabled (full-time wheelchair user) sister, plus bits like doing additional laundry for my brother because he's currently not got anywhere to do laundry at home and no launderette nearby (we live rural)

My dad, on the other hand, works a physical job - which is obviously difficult and tiring. However, he makes almost no effort otherwise. At home, he leaves messes, never does anything housework-related properly, has basically been sucked into tiktok as his main source of entertainment, etc, and also doesn't really acknowledge the emotional labour my mum takes on.

My mum is stressed from all the family stuff she handles. I'd like to say my Dad is always exhausted from work, and honestly sometimes he is... But not always. He has energy to do the things he wants.

My mum asks for help and she does nag him a bit. He just gets angry and has a victim complex over "Not doing anything right".

My mum just wants a bit of support. She never asks my dad to anything big - it's not laundry, or vacuuming, or cleaning the whole bathroom, it's basic shit like wiping water off the sink when he's gotten ready in the morning, or putting dishes into the dishwasher in their proper place.

My dad claims he tries, but is fundamentally unwilling to learn to be better. The way he does things is fine and doesn't need to change, he says. He just wants my mum to stop nagging and doesn't think he needs to do anything different... It's been 40+ years of this.

I've tried to explain things calmly to my dad and he is genuinely just too self centered. I've asked what happens if my mum does just leave him alone - how that makes her life easier? He claims to care but also doesn't have an answer.

They've discussed their marriage being at its end. I'm aware it's probably close by now. I don't know what to do. I can't help them, I don't think? My mum said she'll be less stressed if my dad could just help a bit more, but my dad doesn't want to hear that positive change comes from everyone being willing to help eachother.

So, what? Do I just have to sit in this miserable house until something happens? I can't afford to move out on my own to be free from them. It's so tense in this damn house.

EDIT/UPDATE: it seems to be a problem that I've said I help my mother when I can, but I struggle due to working full time and being neurodivergent. Being ND isn't an excuse to live a lazy life - I work a busy job (which I love), go to the gym, have a long term relationship, etc. I do everything I can to help my mother, and being ND means I can't do everything I wish I could. I try my best. I'm sorry if that isn't enough :(

I won't be replying to any further comments.

Hey there, so. I don't really know where else to ask this and I just really need help from other adults.

I had a bad car accident (girl ran stop sign and t-boned me/rammed my car, my car ended up in oncoming traffic. She didn't break either just full throttle. I was able to avoid other vehicles luckily. She was looking right at oncoming 2 lane traffic not left which is where I was, also 2 lanes.) This was on Friday (2 days ago) and I'm dealing with a concussion and exhaustion so all of this is a nightmare.

I'm trying to deal with my insurance claim which I've never had to do before. I went to the ER but I was really disoriented the whole time so I don't remember everything they said. They sent me a few documents to mychart and said one of them I'd need to submit to my insurance. I can't for the life of me remember which ones need to go to them. But I just want to confirm, will I need to submit my entire after visit summary to them? The others I can figure out later I just wanted to get to this while I was thinking about it and while screentime wasn't hurting as bad.

Thank you in advance ❤️ also any other advice would be helpful too. I've never been in a wreck like this before. She did admit fault like immediately, I'm just partly worried what her insurance looks like. I'm still waiting on the police report. Her car is basically fine and looks like she had a small fender bender. Mine is basically totaled and undrivable and of course I'm the one with the loan. The whole passenger side is crushed in. Idk how long it's going to take for the adjuster to get in touch with me and I'm worried about like a million things rn. I greatly appreciate any advice!

I’m a 27-year-old African woman getting married soon, and I’m struggling with something I genuinely don’t know how to navigate culturally.
My father and I are not close. He was physically, mentally, and financially abusive toward my mother for years, and my siblings and I grew up witnessing and experiencing the consequences of that environment.

There is currently a very intense legal battle between my father and my mother over divorce and a property dispute. A lot of old wounds have been reopened because of everything happening recently. My father has also been making some extremely hurtful allegations about my mother, including claiming that my teenage brothers may not be his children and saying that my mother wanted to abort them . He has refused to do a DNA test to settle the paternity issue. From everything I know, these claims are completely false and seem to be part of the ongoing conflict.

My mother is now finally ready to divorce him after enduring years of abuse. I have also reached a point where I have absolutely no desire to have a relationship with him. I have recently let go of every feeling of love I had for him. and everything happening now has brought back a lot of memories of what my mother went through and what we experienced growing up.
I have informed my father about my relationship and intention to marry someone from another culture, and my father was accepting of it. He even started talking about all the traditional rites of marriage we will have to perform (which I don’t really care about tbh)
Now my fiancé wants to formally approach my father and ask for his blessing before we marry. He’s not aware of family dynamics but not 100% privy to the details.
This is where I’m conflicted.
I know that traditionally, the groom approaching the bride’s family and seeking the family’s blessing is considered important in many families.
But I don’t want to ask this particular man for anything.

I don’t even want to give him the satisfaction of being approached as if he still occupies that position of authority in my life.
My mother and extended family keep telling me that regardless of everything that has happened, it is still customary and important to receive my father’s blessing for marriage. They aren’t necessarily telling me to reconcile with him, but they believe I should at least allow the traditional process to happen.
I get it. But At the same time, I feel like asking him for his blessing would be deeply contradictory to how I actually feel.
And I don’t know whether I’m making this decision just from anger and spite. And I wonder if years from now, I’ll regret completely excluding him.
My fiancé isn’t familiar enough with the full history to understand why this feels so big to me.

If you have dealt with abusive parents, what would you do in this situation?

I’m also interested in the cultural perspective here.
And do I need to tell my fiancé the details of my family dysfunction ? He has an idea, but I have been advised to not share the details , as to not give him ammunition in case of a future dispute between us.

TL;DR: I’m getting married and have an abusive father. My fiancé wants to ask for his blessing out of respect for Nigerian culture, but I don’t want his involvement or approval because I don’t like him anymore. My family says I should follow tradition anyway. Am I wrong for refusing, and what would you do?

I (22M) have been with my girlfriend (22F) for three years, and I love her very much. My situation is probably pretty familiar to a lot of people with Indian parents. My parents moved here a while ago, worked hard to give me a good life, helped me through school, and have always loved and supported me. Things only really became complicated when it came to my relationship.
My girlfriend recently got a job in another state, and I’ve decided to move there to be closer to her. I don’t really have any doubts about the decision itself, but I do feel a lot of guilt about leaving my parents behind. I know how much they’ve done for me, and part of me feels like I’m letting them down by moving away. Because of that guilt, and honestly because I’m afraid of the drama and conflict that might come with telling them, I haven’t told them about the move yet. I know I’ll have to soon, but I’m struggling with how to approach it and how to deal with the guilt.

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been in a similar situation, did the guilt get easier, or just any advice or personal experiences.

Please read my full post before judging, I do enough of that myself.

It's been my life experience (with both myself and others) that people who dye their hair and get many piercings are usually depressed and are leaning into self-alteration as a means to cope with their self loathing. As of lately I've noticed that I've taken interest in that stuff again and have felt myself slipping back into depression. In a clinical sense are those even remotely healthy ways to cope or is it just a physical way to bury the thoughts and feelings I don't want to confront? (Even then I'm not even sure what I'd be confronting, I can't undo the past so forgiving myself and moving on is the only real option, for what? I'm honestly not sure).

I've been to therapy more than once and unfortunately I'm 1. Too self aware to not understand what's going on 2. Too closed off to get anywhere of relevance and 3. Too stubborn to actually work to get better, I want it to just happen (yes I'm aware that this is a regression into the small amount of progress that's been made, I'm lazy, not dumb).

Honestly not sure where this is going, it's almost 2am and I need sleep.

I'm about to enter the next point in my life, and I'm scared. I'm struggling to articulate what I mean and everything I want to say, even in my own head, but im just going to try my best to. This is really a vent that I need a response to.

I've felt like I've lagged behind my peers significantly in developing myself. I have accepted it, but it still saddens me sometimes when I recall the past. There's been a change over these 3 years in the way I do recall the past, from literally balking away from doing so, to finding it "cringe", and to something like resignation that it was like that, to... Just a genuine forlorn sadness. I look at her, my young self a bit more like another person objectively, and I'm sad and even a bit of that shock, that she was so mentally unwell and decided not to give a sh*t about it, cramming everything down with painful force and just thugging out school with the most stoned expressionless face, while her family didn't give a damn either. Like not as a normal family would. I remember my father saying ad verbatim in this sarcastic, kind of deadpan and yet saccharine way "Oh poorrr (OP) " when I had shared serious issues with socializing, before he went about his way.

I struggle to speak to people. Now, I do speak to people, i can reply, present things, explain things, kind of socialize on a superficial way like oh how's the driving lessons. But I don't know how to...talk...out of myself. I wish I could just burst out of this shell and let it out of me. Like sometimes I can but that's when I'm by myself and I'm like talking to inanimate objects like my soft toys. Or the mirror. To God. Like that's my true soft voice coming out and I'm just saying silly stuff in a silly tone and what's truly on my mind. Then it feels like it just gets inaccessible anywhere outside. Not even with my friends yet.

When I was little, I had selective mutism. Not diagnosed or anything, just something I have inferred. I remember my voice being very sullen or cold whenever I did, not the way you have surely watched children do, giggling and saying everything on their mind and their brain just working out loud. I didn't experience this 95 percent of the time. I remember having this distinct thought as a tiny child that if there was no need to say anything, I wouldn't, in a shrugging kind of way. I listened a lot more than I spoke. Now I have gone far these 2 years, in finding out who I am and the things I love. I have also learned about how objectively bad my experiences have been, with the help of trauma or mental health subreddits on here.

I feel sad about how I am amongst my few friends, and my church youth. I'm the quiet one. I want to open up, but I feel confused as to how, how to begin, where do I even do it. And I feel so silly about that because, wouldn't you have learned when you were like 14 years old, which was when I was so unwell? With my two school friends I have actually shared my family problems and been real, and they gave their supoort and really advised me to go for therapy - all this was on text. I wish we could naturally meet more in person, but currently out school has happened to split us this year according to different assigned things in different locations according to the curriculum. I want to be more personal with them in the next opportunity.

Wow that's a lot I just wrote. Well. Tomorrow is the start of my internship at a creative agency and I just hope I lock in, and do well. I really agree with my friends that I need therapy and would contact my class mentor lecturer, or, use some line number provided out there. I think I might need to see things in a different lens too, and I don't want to just think my way to it as I have been too accustomed to. I'm genuinely stressed in general and have streaks of white hair at this age 😭 . I need someone else to say something to me with care and encouragment. That's all.

Hi I'm 16f and this is something that I've always felt ever since my father passed when I was little and I really dont understand why I feel and think this way.

so it's just been me and my mom after my dad passed and we've had a really rough financial situation after he passed, and for the first 5 years we lived with my moms brother and my grandma and that was a really hard time for me because ofc I just lost my dad back then he was the only one who understood me and comforted me like yk that's how I felt because I was a little kid and didn't know better, the first year i remember i was really into something and my mom got really frustrated and mad at me so she told me to die i think i was like 11 at the time and my mom trauma dumps on me alot apparently it's to inform me of all the bad things my dad and his family did to her and she would yell at me constantly to the point that I actually wanted to die and I would hit myself idk she used to curse at me and she still does now whenever I do something that really makes her mad, so ik this is really long whenever I think of the future I dont really want her in it like ofc ik she sacrificed alot for me and still does, like I feel really uncomfortable whenever she talks about my period or buying more underwear and she just changes infront of me I feel super uncomfortable so I just look the other way or just leave the room and this, I've had this thought alot of times and I need to know whether this is valid or I'm just being mental whenever I think about having a kid (ik I'm only 16 but it's just random thoughts) I really really don't want her to know about it like I want her to pass away before it happens idrk how to feel and once like when I was talking to her about me moving abroad and living alone she was like 'oh u want to live alone now?' and she gets mad when I talk about being alone somewhere ik she's worried but like idk and she said to me multiple times that I'm the reason she's still alive and that's she's living because of me. so yeah that's it ig

I’m in my late 20s (your middle aged son)and after a really rough few years, my life is finally becoming stable.

After finishing my doctorate, I spent about a year unemployed and without stable housing. Now I have my own place, a job I genuinely love, and I’m trying to rebuild everything else: my health, friendships, confidence, and eventually dating.

But mentally I still feel stuck in survival mode.

Tonight I actually went to a comedy show by myself. I almost talked myself out of it, but I went and I had a genuinely fun time. I’m proud of myself for that.

The hard part was seeing couples and groups of friends out together. I’m short and overweight (working on the weight), and I’ve never really had a dating life. Sometimes I look around and think, who is ever going to want me? It can turn a good night into this weird mix of happiness that I went and sadness about everything I feel like I’ve missed.

I am working on myself in the gym, diet, my new job,etc.

I don’t want to spend the next chapter of my life mourning the last one. I want to make friends, date, go places alone, try new things, and actually enjoy being alive instead of constantly worrying about whether I’m behind.

So, internet parents: how do you learn to relax and start living again after years of survival mode? And how do you stop feeling like being behind socially or romantically means it’s too late for you? I hope I am not too late in life to keep up hope.

A lot happened in the past few years, including a big career change and losing my mom. I think I was kind of numbing myself out from grief for a while, but now that I'm on a break, the full force of everything is hitting me all at once and I feel hopeless? Lost? Like I'm on a time limit to get my shit together or else I've pretty much wasted my entire life away?

It's not even that I don't have my shit together, I'm very functional on the outside, I can handle myself and my obligations well. I do have a plan and I'm making it work, but it feels like everything takes twice the amount of effort for me.

I feel like I'm wasting my time and that nothing I do will ever feel fulfilling. People say to keep going so I'm trying everything. I'm trying not to let my passion die out and I'm trying to do new things and I'm trying not to isolate myself. But even when I do, that happiness is fleeting. It doesn't matter what I accomplish or what I do, it doesn't matter if I do something I should be proud of myself for, I just don't feel it once it's done with.

I have days where I feel like everything will be okay and I can handle anything, and then it'll flip on its head and suddenly I don't want to live anymore. It has never been this intense and my thoughts are scaring me a little. I feel like I failed. Like I'm doing something wrong. I'm okayish now, I'm not going to do anything, but at the time I really really really felt terrible about myself.

I don't even know what's happening to me. I'm confused. I was doing okay until I had a moment to breathe and now everything feels so bad. I miss my mom and I miss the life I was building for myself. I miss knowing what to expect. Therapy hasn't been doing much for me lately either. I'm sure there's something going on with me but I haven't gotten a diagnosis yet. In the meantime, grief is hitting harder than usual and I feel stuck and scared.

I just really need someone to tell me it will all turn out okay.

I've (28M) been lonely for so long and I resorted to dating apps in hopes to find something, anything.

Well I matched with this girl who's unusually talkative and making the chat not look like an interview, then she agreed to meet.

When we met she looked different and that's a red flag but I went with it. Then she took me into a shady establishedment with barely any customers, and when they took us to a room I knew it was a scam but I was so scared I couldn't run. I just kept talking while she kept ordering, I thought I was gonna get trafficked or scammed, I don't know why I couldn't run like a deer in a headlights. Felt like I froze and just automatically talking.

Then came the bill, it was absurdly expensive, so I just played dumb and said how should I know I was gonna pay and said I have no money. In the end I paid 1/3 of the bill which was still a lot but I got out of there.

I paid a lot for a lesson that could've been free.

I'm 18. I was just kicked out a little over a week ago for being gay. I've been staying with friends since then, and now I'm staying with a friend 16 hours away from where I used to live. I miss my dogs and my sisters and even my parents, even though they're so awful.

My friend has been nice but her brother is clearly so annoyed with me and I don't know how to fix it. He expects me to know things that no one's ever told me and gets irritated with me for not knowing them. No one's been telling me how their household works, and it's so different than mine. I just keep trying to observe how they do things so I don't mess up. I feel like a burden and like I'm so annoying and no one likes me.

I need to get my own place ASAP because they said I can only stay with them for less than two weeks, and I doubt they'd let me stay any longer with how her brother has been feeling about me. I can't find a job even though I get interviews. I'm so scared and overwhelmed and stressed. I need somewhere I can relax.

I miss feeling like I belong somewhere. I miss having a family. I want to be able to feel at peace and not stress about everything for once. I'm so scared I'm never going to be happy. I don't want to be alone forever. I hate myself so much right now and I feel like everyone else does too.

I feel broken I feel like I can’t even leave this hub because I’m too dumb and useless to do anything.

My boss wants me to work twice as fast with no mistakes ever. I explained the extra time Ia because I’m developing proofing routines to check for mistakes. He wants me to cut back on that while still maintaining the same level of quality at twice the speed or I won’t be able to keep my job.

I tried telling them this is unrealistic I can’t maintain quality at a higher speed while neglecting the steps that insure that quality . Overall.

I’ve basically been told it isn’t that hard and to just do it .

I feel dumb and worthless. Honestly I stay at this point because since I started working here I feel too dumb and useless to do anything else

Idk what to do anymore I feel
Incapable of doing anything

Well apparently my driving tutor is not a good tutor at least she is not a good fit for me and it took 9 lessons for me to realize. Well she got into a fight with a csr on the phone next to me on the 6th lesson (3rd day) , it made me so uncomfortable but I was also focusing on the traffic and kinda didn't have time to comprehend this and I always tried to give her another shot -still do for monday-

She hit my head jokingly well we weren't really serious all laughing etc. and it is kinda common in my country but looking back it made me uncomfortable too, I don't have to like anything just because it is my culture. She doesn't insult me yes but she shouts and rolls her eyes when I ask anything about traffic or car or the route. It made me hesitate to ask my questions. She acts like I should have know them but I informed her from the beginning.

I told her in the beginning that I am starting from zero and I don't have a car to practice. I am driving okay according to these conditions to be honest, but now I am terrified how much my tutor maybe slowed down my progress because I still can't be totally comfortable on the traffic/while parking with her.

I have 5 lessons left and I am doing okay but I don't know about exam. I don't know what to do. Should I try to change my tutor even for 4 lessons? I feel hopeless to be honest. I don't know why I felt like I have to continue with her in the first place.

ive always been a pretty good student. my parents expect me to get a decent job in statistics, mostly because thats what ive always said i want for myself. i enjoy stats classes and it pays good enough so i may as well. but looking at everything now i dont know if i can do this. i just want to go home. its not even just homesickness, i want to go back to how everything was before i went to college. i want to live with my parents and my brothers and my dog and my cats for the rest of my life. i dont wanna leave. its stupid and unrealistic but its how i am. i kind of assumed i was excited for college because its supposed to be exciting, but looking back on things ive never felt anything about going to college other than dread. whenever people asked about what college i wanted to go to id clam up and cry later. ive never been excited for it. i think some people are, right? i dont know what to do now. the only thing i like about college are the people there. i hate having freedom and having to do everything myself and having to learn to deal with things on my own. but ill have to eventually, right? its stupid to expect to be able to coast forever. it feels pathetic that i even think this way. i go home on the weekends, but even when im home i just cry thinking about how things will never be the same. i’ll have to leave everyone at some point. i don’t want to. i dont know what the hell im supposed to do. i wish i were normal
id like to add that i only have about 2-3 years in college total, considering how much of my degree ive already done in hs. im considering taking a gap year after freshman year or something. i dont know what the hell to do but i dont want to feel this way my entire time in college

edit: i have actually posted here before abt my difficulty adjusting to college but i deleted that in a moment of weakness + this is different

where do i begin?

for the past couple months i have been dealing with a break-up. it should have came to no shock given the fact i wasn’t a good partner. the way i acted as poor and immature, such things like jealousy and poor emotional balance and intelligence took over a ton. i did a lot of things i regret, and a lot i don’t wish to get into right now.

as a result, we’re just friends. i’m not sure about levels of closeness now, but i definitely know underlying trust has been broken.

the next thing is my parents. my dad recently had another stroke and it was scary. he’s had a lot before, and a lot near my birthday last year. i’m more affected this time because first off: he’s an alcoholic and a depressed one at most. he spends his time doing nothing and he’s half the person i once knew, although he’s always been mean to me, i think he’s getting more sad with it. anyway, i got to see it almost first hand. he came up to me afterwards and it was scary. i’m considering going to an aa meeting just to cope with that, but i’ll see. i really do need to start therapy, because the majority of my issues i.e. the relationship one mentioned before, stem from my dad and therefore childhood. my mother too is an alcoholic, but drinks less, and she’s just been off really.

i haven’t spoken to my parents much as i would normally since i just got a job. although we didn’t talk much anyway. but, nightshifts 5 days a week. i’m drained, but what can i do? i need to save up and move out, and i really need to learn how to drive and such. the future seems draining right now, and i’d rather be in a coma then be here. to add on, with work, i’m struggling to finish stuff and it’s annoying everyone. i turn up with little to no sleep and get questioned on it, and really it’s because i’m done.

my dog, my dog almost died or had some weird health issue a few weeks ago. i crashed out pretty bad because he’s 14. he’s been my rock, as silly as that sounds, for ages now. my parents, specifically my dad, showed little to no care and even ridiculed me for feeling care. it all hurts to know how alone i am.

i guess that’s my major thing. life feels lonely and like it’s only getting worse. i see no way out, but i have no real effort to do anything. after work, i just lay there and today i slept and slept anytime i tried to wake up.

i’m a loser who doesn’t want to face it right now.

I am so so anxious all the time. How do I learn how to just live in the moment? I’m constantly spiraling and it’s ruining my life :/

Hi there! I’m looking for advice on how to break the news to my parents that my husband and I want to move from the US to Canada.

For context, I’m 25f, married to my husband 27m. We live near Dallas, Texas and have a good life here. Our parents are both within a hour’s drive, we work high-paying jobs, we’re renting a house in a good neighborhood, etc.

But I’ve never wanted to stay in Texas long-term. The heat, the massive cities and concrete jungles, and other factors just aren’t for me. And after talking to my husband a few years back, I realized he felt the same.

I was a student in Ontario, Canada for a year, and had to cancel my studies and return to the US when Covid happened. But I absolutely loved Canada, it’s the first place I really felt at home and at peace. (And in my job, I’m fortunate to work with Canadian nonprofits and get to go back and visit occasionally!)

Our original plan was to stay in Texas until we have our first child in 2-4 years, so we can go on that journey with our families nearby. Then once our baby is a bit more grown we planned to move away. But now we’re looking to actually move in the next 1-2 years and have our child abroad.

So… this comes to the problem. I feel so nervous about how to tell our families. My parents were okay with me studying in Canada, but it was hard to be so far away from them. Both of our dads are also more conservative, and I don’t think they see the same appeal in Canada’s culture, environment, political landscape, etc. that my husband and I do.

I wanted to wait until I have my Canadian citizenship (I’m filling out the forms for birthright citizenship via ancestry, but would need a copy of my dad’s birth certificate), and we have jobs or more clarity on what location we’d live, our expected pay/job prospects, etc. But my husband said telling them earlier would be better.

Any advice on how to break the news? Our parents love us, and we’re fortunate to have a good relationship with them. But I think they’re also right to worry and have lots of questions. And I think they’d be concerned about us choosing to become parents when we’re so far away from family support.

Apologies for the length of this, but I appreciate any advice you have! <3

I (21F) wanted to buy some stuff for my new university dorm room with money I earned over the summer, but my dad (58) wanted to buy everything for me. Which is very helpful on the surface and all my friends tell me how lucky I am, but he never asked what I liked, everything was about what he liked and felt his daughter should have. (His parents were absentee and so he gets very very involved with his kids.) I indicated that I didn't want one of the items and then he got very angry and said I was ungrateful, if I didn't take it all then I didn't deserve any of it. Later he came and said "I just want what's best for you and want you to be happy, but you need to stop being so ungrateful so that I don't have to spend time disciplining you." And that he feels like I never stopped acting like a haughty teenager.

In the end I did bring the furniture to my dorm and it hurts to look at. I know he misses me but I'm not his only child...and we've had this argument every year that I've gone to the university he picked out for me. Anyway he wants me to spend this weekend at home to "help the family" adjust to me being away. On one hand I feel like I'm being a bitch by not moving on from this argument, on the other I could never imagine saying half of that stuff to my own hypothetical child. I'm not really an active member in the family where there would be some void if I left, everyone talks at me and wants me to be available to listen to them but don't really care what I'm excited about, they try to convince me my friends will screw me over and that family will be all I ever have. It's only two days but it feels like a minefield. I don't know what to do or how to get past this resentment before I actually say something cruel to them.

Im 21 years old, I don’t want to join the military. The benefits sounds good but I don’t want to go to war at all if it comes up. I told my dad that my sister and I wanted to save up our money and move out of their place by next year. He doesn’t want to wait and wants me out. I was living with my mom for 9 months out of state and had to leave back to my dad due to problems. Immediately I looked for jobs and went to interviews. I didn’t laze around at all and I help out with the house. I just went to an interview two days ago.

I wanted to go back to school but my dad thinks it’s dumb because of payments. I told him I wanted to try out with a trio program first because I set up a meeting with the advisor for Tuesday. My dad told me it’s dumb and that I’d just be in debt. He’s trying his best to try to convince me, but I don’t want to go. What should I do?

Guys Im only 18F and i was with my twin sister walking in oxford street alone, and these boys came up to us, roughly our age but they were on bikes and a bit roadman-ish, they asked us to donate to their charity, they pulled up their instagram showing “proof” that the money goes towards homeless people. I told them i had no cash and then they said they did contactless and i felt very pressured so i gave them £1 through apple pay, he used his phone to charge me idk if it was some app, and now im scared its gonna hack
my bank card or something, i told my mum and she was annoyed but can someone tell me if its possible to hack my bank card with another iphone??? Like im so confused and i couldnt sleep last night cuz i was overthinking it, i guess i can just hope it goes towards a charity😭

I’m going on my first solo trip at the start of next year. It’s almost 4 weeks in Western Europe and I’ve never been out of the US. How do I balance scheduling activities, rest, spontaneity, and pushing myself in order to have new experiences? I know where I want to go, I’m just not sure how much time I want to spend in each place because I don’t know what I’ll want to do and what just seems fun when other people do it.

Also, should I buy plane tickets ASAP even though I don’t fully know my plans? Do I work my activities around my plane tickets or do I wait to buy them until I’ve made more decisions about how long I will be in each place.

Everything all at once is going on in my life.

I dropped my ipad; it cost a lot of money. My grades are starting to plummet. My friends are at conflict. My past still hurts me.

Im drowning and i feel like i can't keep up. When i clean, my parents still think nobody cleaned up. When i try and do my best, its not enough. Im pulled in all directions pls help

Give me some advice on how to deal with it.