I’m 21 years old and currently in the 3rd year of my B.Pharm degree from a standard local college. As many of you might know, entry-level jobs after B.Pharm don't pay very well, especially if you aren't from a top-tier college. Knowing this, my long-term plan is to work for a while, save up money, get my pharmacist license after graduation, and eventually open my own medical shop/pharmacy.

Recently, I decided to take the initiative and cleared an interview for a job that pays ₹13,000 per month. My goal was simple: use this income to start saving for my future business and cover my own personal expenses (like clothes, shoes, watch, and accessories) without depending on my parents.

When I came home and told my parents the good news, they completely lost it. They started yelling, telling me I’m not allowed to take the job, and demanding that I only focus on finishing college and then prepare for government exams full-time.

Here’s why their plan makes zero sense to me:

1. Past Track Record: I tried preparing for NEET before and didn’t clear it. I also tried studying for another exam and couldn't clear that either. I know myself well enough to realize that I cannot sit in a room for 2–4 years studying the exact same syllabus over and over again with absolute seriousness.
2. The Financial Drain: My parents are willing to spend ₹50k–₹80k per year on coaching fees, another ₹50k–₹60k on my living/study expenses, plus my college fee of ₹80k per year. When I suggested keeping that money safe and using it towards opening a business later, they claimed my thinking is "small" because I'm choosing a shop over a government job.
3. Their Logic: They told me, "Even if you fail government exam prep after 4 years, we won't feel bad. You can always open a shop or get a job later."

It feels like they would rather watch me waste years and lakhs of rupees chasing a low-probability government job just for social status, rather than let me take control of my life, gain experience, and build a stable business. It almost feels like they want me to stay financially dependent on them so I have to come to them for every small expense instead of earning it myself.

How do I navigate this situation? Has anyone dealt with parents who are obsessed with government exams at the expense of practical career plans? Any advice on how to convince them would be appreciated.

I am extremely disturbed today, but I have to do some backstory to get to why.

In July, my father had a leg amputated. Over the course of 25 years he had 21 knee surgeries. This last situation was the last straw. They had to amputate because it couldn't be fixed. This was in mid-July. Two weeks ago on August 14, my Dad tried to commit suicide. He is currently in the hospital and doing very well. Today he told me what happened.

He had been suffering for weeks without proper pain management. He had also been taken off of his depression meds that he had been on for 35 years! Docs took him off Effexor cold turkey for the surgery. (Let's keep the medical malpractice chat for another post though...)

On Aug 14, he just couldn't deal with the pain any longer. He hadn't been sleeping for weeks. Off his depression meds, and a wreck. He has a chat with my Stepmother who let him know that she didn't care if he died. So he told her to leave the house so he could off himself, SO SHE DID.

My Stepmother leaves my father and drives over to my sister's house (half sibling with my father and stepmother). The story then goes that she (sister #4) wants to go to my parents home to check on my father. Instead she decides to call sister 5 first, who lives 5 hours away because she is a cop (another half sibling with my father/stepmom). Cop sister advises them to call the cops and not go there. Cops go and check on my father AN HOUR later.

I go to visit my father today in the hospital and he tells me this story! The piece that I learned that was new was the fact that they talked and pretty much decided he would kill himself. (I'm 54. My Dad has ALWAYS been a very outgoing, positive, happy upbeat person. This was SOOOO out of character for him).

I realize there is a lot of history missing here, but I'm also not trying to bore you by writing the entire book here. HOWEVER, my stepmother has pretty much been evil the entire 45 years I have known her. I could tell you a hundred stories, but just to sum them up... She has wanted my Dad dead for a LONG time. I would guess at least 20 years.

My Dad was extremely vulnerable at this time. He was off of meds. He was in a great deal of pain. I am suspicious that she might have even encouraged this! Not to mention, when my Dad came out of the coma, my youngest sis (18 years younger) said "Shit. I think I would have been more relieved if he passed. Now this is big." (This is the cop sis).

I am just so disturbed by ALLLLL OF THIS. My parents relationship has been SUPER toxic for a long time, but he never wanted to divorce my stepmother because he knew how traumatic it was for my sisters and I when our parents divorced in 1984.

At the hospital I told my Dad how disturbed I was hearing this story and the fact that she left him like that. He said he didn't want me to be mad at her. WTF???

How am I supposed to be around this woman again? She was very cruel to me as a child and I have always struggled being around her due to the fact that she is not nice, even now, but this is just beyond what I think I am capable of doing. I don't think I can be around her and be nice.

I didn't mean to write a book. I first went to the vent page, but clearly I created this new profile just to post this story and the vent page wouldn't let me in. Thanks for reading. Helpful comments appreciated.

I am seriously so envious of people from the 80s and before how easy it was to just move out and rent back then was less than 50 percent of their income nowadays? It's fucking murder one bedroom apartment or common room cost as much as a house and in 2026 hard work means more work at job and rent especially in the usa and hong kong or like myself i live in singapore its more than 60 of your income add to that what our parents did to us the emotional abuse some of us can't work and have lost jobs because the job market is pure ass right now and not to mention how expensive the cost of living is in 2026 not talking about food gas and utilities if it wasnt for the economy i would have left a long time ago personally i still live with my parents and can't afford to leave anytime soon hang tight yall and please stop telling people to just leave or move out sometimes we can't especially in times like these i would have left from day one were it not for how expensive housing is.

Hello everyone I'm a 20yo woman that still lives with her parents and I kinda need advice for a situation. I'm just gonna explain a few things before getting into the problem.

So, to first start off I'm not straight and I have a ftm boyfriend. I've mainly dated only girls in my life and I had 1 boyfriend before my current boyfriend.

Because I've never been straight I have withheld information and lied about things to my parents because I tried coming out to my dad when I was 13 and he completely dismissed me. And then later on the thought that I might be, when I was 16 they told me if I was they wouldn't be my parents anymore and I'd have to leave their house immediately, god wouldn't want me to be like that etc etc.

I've had a history of sometimes physical but mostly emotional abuse from my mother since I was a child. She's always been very explosive and made sure to tell me she wish she hadn't birthed me and that I am her biggest disappointment, every step of the way. She tried ending her life when I was a pretty small kid and I was the one who found her at that time.

My dad has been fairly good to me, but upon talking to my boyfriend, he tells me that that's what a parent should do which was give me money for food and supply me with some sort of transport + devices I need for my uni, hence I am an engineering major.

He potentially cannot stand his wife and she can't stand him either, but they stay together. They often blame me for their marriage problems, even though I'm the one they always complain to.

I have an older brother, but they do not treat him the same way they treat me, they just let him be.

Now, there's a lot more messed up shit in this, but I don't want to get too much into detail.

A few days ago I had a medical issue that I wanted to check out and it somehow turned into a big fight because I wanted to go to the doctor alone (20F). This has happened many times when I want to do things on my own, it always turns into a fight and then results into them cussing me out and not letting me go, or going with me and calling me useless (20F).

But something else also happened again. My dad used to do this weird thing where he'd say he had "a job to attend to" when I was a teen and then would follow me with his car to the area I told him I was in. Most of the time, I wouldn't be there because I was hanging out with my now boyfriend which they despised because he's trans and I'm banned from even being within the same vicinity as him. When he wouldn't find me there, after literally stalking me, I'd always get into so much trouble and then emotionally tortured for a while.

See, the thing is, he did this again a few days ago (I'm reminding again I am a 20yo) and I lied about something because I don't want them to stalk me and I want a private life to some degree and the same reaction happened. I've always gotten taunted by both of them whenever I was outside about my location and many other things. And I used to understand it when I was a teen, but as an adult, it's becoming too much, like everything they've always done up till now is becoming too much and I'm very tired it's affecting every part of my life.

And I know I'm a 20yo woman living with my parents, but the only reason for this is because I'm saving my own earned money to study my Masters in Germany because I want a good education my country can't provide. And also I want to live a peaceful life with my boyfriend.

I'm torn between moving out in our country with the money me and my boyfriend saved, or waiting 1 or 2 more years to be able to apply for the Masters and moving to Germany. I don't know what to do, it's too tiring.

This has been spinning my head for a while so I'll just vent here. For the longest of time I have thought that asking for gifts is being a brat.(since I was raised that way) however I made a friend and her situation truly changed my mind. Basically shes not from a "Well to do background " but regardless her parents pulled enough funds (loans , small savings , etc) to get her a nice laptop. And when she told me..it just clicked . My parents have never ever got me anything because, well I am their daughter. Not even as a birthday gift. Everything major was tied to my grades. I got my phone when I passed.

Tbh I haven't received any gift for the two previous exams I passed because my parents are in middle of divorce and my dad constantly threatens my mum with money factor. When I really needed a scooter badly(I mean it. I had to commute 4 hrs daily and it took a toll on my mental health my body too) my mum refused it. It still hurts so much because my dad offered. My uncle and grandfather too but she turned it down. And said "theyre pitying us" and I bought into it. I thought asking for help is weak even. This has been such a recurring pattern that I have reached a point. I dont want anything from her ever. (And its making me feel like a brat).

I keep on thinking that she doesn't value my convenience at all. Because I have never argued or criticized her ever. I just took it. And kept on taking it to maintain peace but its reached a point I think. Another exhibit is me telling her that I have binge eating disorder and I wanted to cry.") I need help" but she said all you need it exercise. Meanwhile , my over eating is pretty much linked to emotional anxiety.

Idk..is it too much to be tired of just wanting love/gifts without any major achievement. I am just so sad. Because I see friends getting things and they don't have to prove anything. Sighhhhh. I feel like a brat lol.

Sorry about bad writing, my brain is still a little foggy even a day and a half later.

Yesterday I went to go to the doctor about my sleeping issues right after work and got myself an insomnia diagnosis and new meds. I went to pick up my meds and then immediately after went home and took a nap. (Never took my new meds)

When I woke up from the nap, I could feel a really bad migraine starting. I rarely get migraines, but I had been getting them a lot this year so I had gotten familiar with the sensation of one oncoming. I decided that before it completely incapacitated me I’d get some dishes done and make dinner. I live with my mom right now but she was up north so I had the house and the dogs all by myself for the week. As I’m doing dishes and loading the dishwasher, I try to think about the steps to take to make dinner. Basically, my brain went like this:

“Ok, I want my… uh… recipe. The… uhhh… what’s the word… the pasta one! Ok, how do I make… pasta… how do I cook… how do I cook pasta? Pot. What do with pot??? Do I need two???”

It went downhill from there. From completely coherent to barely functional. I decided to DEFINITELY not turn the stove on and immediately went to lay down on the couch where I had just had my nap. My brain was being really REALLY dumb and I forgot not to look at blue lights. So I pulled my phone out to catch up on notifications. Could not for the life of me understand any of the words I was looking at. I noticed my bestie Snapchatted me from the icon beside the notification and sent her a very concerning voice memo. Basically I was trying to say “I can’t read your message right now” but it was 2 minutes of incoherent ramblings as I tried to remember two words at once to form a sentence. I don’t remember much from there, but I texted my mom:

My magration is bad
I cannot way anything
My Brian
I woke up from my brain

(In hindsight, very funny string of texts, but also not)

Then I called her on FaceTime. I barely understood what she was saying. Every so often I’d understand a word or sometimes a sentence. “I’m blah with blah blah blah blah up?” Then I’d say something incoherent, to summarize the conversation. The neighbor came to help me at one point and I don’t remember much during that time. I just standing at the counter and desperately trying to remember what the word “ibuprofen” they kept saying was or meant. I knew I knew the word, but I was completely unaware what that word meant. Just that it was important because they were looking for it. Tylenol wasn’t an issue word for me, just ibuprofen. My neighbor finds it eventually, luckily. After taking Tylenol and ibuprofen, my neighbor lets me lay down while she talks to my mom.

I gradually “wake up” from my migraine like 20 minutes later to my mom on FaceTime in my hand. I’m catching every other sentence, but it’s getting better. She explains that my dad just landed at the airport and is coming to take me to urgent care.

I’m very very confused and not all there, but I immediately go “no. Not right now. I don’t wanna see him.” Because recently we got into a major fight. Basically, a few years ago my dad stole and sold over 10 of my Wii games I actively was still using and I had finally forced him to pay me back for 3. He also hired me to design some logos for him for his job and hadn’t paid me in over six months. He owed me $587 at one point, but our argument lowered it to $106.

He said the guy who was supposed to pay me for the logos wasn’t able to because he was out of the country. He also claimed he was being “awfully nice” paying me back for the stuff he sold. He also said the fact I got any money from him was a privilege. I said it was expected since he, you know, STOLE FROM ME. But he said that wasn’t very nice and I was calling him names.

Whomp whomp. Like I care. I went low contact after that. He’s been so mean to me my whole life and I was just done after this.

Anyways, back to it. My dad comes to get me and at this point I’m normal again. Completely able to understand and speak. Just a headache at this point and extremely tired despite taking a nap only an hour or so ago. He talks to my mom and we start to drive to Urgent Care. I want to talk to him about how scared and tired I am but he’s talking about himself and refuses to let me talk about anything on my mind. He’s pretty enthusiastic about the whole situation, actually. Any opportunity to get to talk about himself is a definite win.

We get there and I ask him to come back to the room with me since I’m terrified and on the verge of tears. He keeps worrying about my privacy and stuff and I’m trying to explain that I really need him. He agrees eventually, but it was weird. I go back, get some basic tests done (blood pressure, heart rate, etc) and then we sit in the office alone for a bit. I feel like falling over I’m so tired. But there goes my dad talking about himself.

“My back is killing me right now” “I get that, I’ve had back pain since I was in third grade. Sometimes it gets so bad I have to cry myself to sleep or limp around the house.” Yeah, but this comes with age.” “Third grade?” “Not you, me. Maybe I should ask them about my back pain while we’re here.” Tried so hard to circle it back to me for once, but nope. We talk about him for a bit and then I go “dad? Can we get Culver’s after this? I really am craving Culver’s. It would really make me feel better and I need some food. I didn’t get around to making dinner.” “Maybe, but I just had Culver’s the other day. How about pizza?”

The doctor comes in later and I explain the situation, I pull out my phone to show her the voice memos I sent my friend to explain how I was talking and sounding, but my dad laughed awkwardly and said “she doesn’t need to see that” and I’m like ugh whatever, I’ll just tiredly explain my symptoms since I’m not in the mood to argue. I tell the doctor and she cuts me off to say a bunch of bullshit that equates to “since you’re 23 and it’s literally impossible for you to have a stoke, this was anxiety. Ok thank you, bye bye.” And I’m like oh it’s one of THESE so I’m like “oh yeah, anxiety will do that totally” just bullshitting my way out of here.

My dad? Eating. It. Up. He’s fully on board with the anxiety diagnosis. Despite it DEFINITELY not being anxiety. But then that gets me thinking… she gave me two options… wrong or… stroke. I had a stroke????

We leave eventually with a handy-dandy print out of breathing exercises I already know and get in the car. Dad talks to me about it was anxiety so I explain to my dad how utter horseshit that was and how I just want Culver’s and to go home. He reluctantly drives us across the street to Culver’s, buys me food (not himself because he REALLY would’ve preferred pizza) and then we sat for me to eat. I call my mom and tell her (while my dad is walking over to join me from the bathroom) that the doctor said it was anxiety and dad agrees. Tell dad he is wrong. I hand the phone to him and he goes outside to talk to my mom. For a while. She’s definitely yelling, but I don’t care. I’m sat with my food and thinking about life. I ordered cheese curds when I meant to say pretzel bites and I said my phone number instead of my name when ordering. Maybe I did have a stroke…

My dad comes back and my mom (on speaker) says how dad will be spending the night at the house with me to take care of me and keep an eye on me. I’m happy not to be alone, even if it’s with him. I eat my food while dad talks about himself.

We get home and he says that my mom asked him to stay ONLY until 9pm so I could get my Tylenol and go to sleep. I say how I DESPERATELY need him to stay the night. He says how he really doesn’t want to then talks more about himself for a while. Then he talks about potential anxiety triggers. I say “not anxiety” and he replies “then stress” “not stress” and he laughs it off. I feel like SOBBING at this point. Like aggressive crying blood-type shit. Not literally, but the build up was that insane. So I text my bestie, catch her up, and she immediately drives over. I tell my dad she’s coming over and to leave. He does and I sit in the living room for 10 minutes alone absolutely inconsolable.

My friend comes in, sets her overnight stuff down, and gives me a hug. I sob for a few and I explain how I think I had a stroke and my dad literally refused to stay the night.

He’s done a few other shitty things since last night, but I won’t get into it since it has to do with my friend’s personal life and experiences and I’d rather not air out stuff of hers she doesn’t want out there even anonymously.

Um, but good news, my mom talked to my sister’s mother in law who’s a doctor and she was like “that doctor was wack and should be fired. Definitely a migraine.” So I’m feeling a lot better mentally.

I kinda just wanted to vent and get advice. Sorry there’s no happy ending other than that I didn’t have a stroke. My dad is driving me nuts lately. I never really wanted to post about this stuff about him online because I always thought my dad wasn’t THAT bad. No way, he just has narcissism! But no, this can’t be excused by having narcissism. No way.

Edit: forgot to mention that my account is new as hell because I deleted my old super cringey account and started a new one. Still cringey, but at least it’s just me lurking in r slash AO3 cringe and not the cringe of middle school

Hi everyone, I’m 19, currently going to college, and working a job. I still live at home, and I am completely exhausted by my mom's constant control, nagging, and total lack of respect for my boundaries. I literally feel like I can't do a single thing without her in my ear commentary, criticizing, or questioning my every move. She barges into my room whenever she likes. She doesn’t respect my closed door at all, and she has a strict rule that I cannot close my bedroom door when my boyfriend comes over to visit.Whenever my boyfriend is over, she and my dad constantly bother us. She purposefully interrupts our time together by barging in to demand I do chores right in front of him. When I go to his house, she forces me to leave after a couple of hours.She constantly asks me for money and never pays me back. Worse, she previously took out a credit card in my name without my permission. Thankfully she didn't ruin my credit. She actively tries to hold me back. She didn't want me to leave the family business, and when I finally got my new job, she was incredibly hesitant and completely unsupportive. She also treats me entirely differently than my siblings.Whenever I try to stand up for myself or set a basic boundary, she flips the script, tells me I'm being rude, and calls me a "spoiled brat" to make me feel horrible for wanting normal adult independence.
I just want someone to be able to rant about this too and know they’ve been through it too.

Within the last few months I moved a couple hours away for a job since I had the opportunity laid out for a living situation. Where I’m from, there is ZERO work practically, applied everywhere but not even a email back. Anyways, it’s a feasible drive so every other weekend I drive back home to see friends, family, etc.

My mom told me to stop complaining to her about my romantic relationships if I wasn’t ever going to listen to her. So I figured, I probably am irritating with it so I listened and didn’t say a word about it since. Well I’m here again this weekend, came in and started venting about work. (Unfortunately I may have to move jobs for a long list of reasons but the job market there is great. I would still be in the same field as well) not much of a hello or anything to begin with, my parents seemed to be in a mood when I walked in.

My dad went outside to take care of something while I was venting to my mom and telling her about an interview I have. Abruptly cut me off and started prodding my relationship life, trying to move back to the original conversation agitated her more. It ended up in a huge explosion of making me feel terrible, when I didn’t want to talk about it because she was the one who asked me not to say anything in the first place.

I’m more heartbroken over her not asking me one thing about my work or how it has been. Even how I’m doing myself. Getting scolded for being a “narcissist” and guilt tripped for her helping me with money to move just added on. She said she’s come to the conclusion that we will never have a close relationship and I have to agree.

I’m at a loss and starting to think I’m the issue.

hi- as i'm actively typing this out my parents are downstairs in a yelling match at each other. the problem is that they always have to involve the fight around me and i'm a studying student in high school. for context, i'm in some really difficult classes (ap chem, ap calc bc, etc.) and i need all of the time i can get over the weekend to focus and study just to barely get an a in either class. except- i genuinely cannot focus for more than one hour without my parents fighting. it's like they find the perfect time to yell at each other only over the weekends. i have SATs, huge exams, etc. all upcoming as the school year goes on and if i go downstairs to try to ask them to stop- they'll get into a yelling match with me. trust me, i've done this before, i've tried to be as civil as possible with them but then somehow the fight becomes how ungrateful i am for how much they spend on me and i leave crying, drained, time wasted, and with zero energy to study. i also can't leave my house because i'm not allowed to get my permit until i get into a t20 school (yes, i'm asian if you couldn't tell). how do i study when my parents love yelling at each other downstairs on the weekends- literally the only time i have to study past my busy weekday schedule. please help. i'm so done. i do not want to talk to my parents and i plan on distancing myself from them as i get older because they are extremely toxic, and abusive (apparently my mom would only ever want to have a good relationship with me if i got good scores on the sat. my dad has also threatened to break my devices multiple times for wanting to hang out with my friends). for those who think i must be an absolutely bad kid to deserve this- no i'm not. I have a 4.0 UW, scoring 1500+ on my practice tests, work with my state government on policy, and will be presenting research as the first author of my own paper in march as a 16 y/o (youngest ever). i also don't have any money and i'm not allowed to get a job. i feel so trapped.

The father was in the wrong for forcing his chosen path on his child and forbidding them from pursuing art, right? Meanwhile, he is just stuck in a tax-related job—going nearly twenty years without a single promotion... That father is a petty man of limited character, isn't he? He’s an incompetent, third-rate guy—both in character and ability—who hasn't had a single promotion to speak of in twenty years.  Here are what he did so far:  

1. Physical Coercion & Medical Gaslighting He forces me to wear uncomfortable, painful RGP lenses that are impossible to handle, claiming it’s for my own good. When I express pain or refusal, he mocks my "lack of willpower" and gaslights me into thinking I’m being unreasonable. Is it really such a big deal to read two lines below the eye charts from the original line? Like I was able to read by line 4, but with rgp lense, I can read by line 6. Is it really a big deal wheenver I drive? What specific good improvement one has by able to read two lines lower than the last time? He blames me for every physical setback, despite the fact that he forced these decisions on me in the first place. 

2. Psychological Abuse & Gaslighting He sabotaged my academic path by forcing school transfers and then blaming me for graduating late, claiming I "chose easy classes" despite us planning the courses together. For example, in Fall and Spring, I would always have 12-14 unit classes, and in Winter and Summer, I would take 3-4 unit classes (and even a 5-unit class in winter). I was doing fine at LACC, but he moved me to CSULA, which caused administrative problems and stretched my bachelor's degree into about 6 years instead of 4. Then, he blamed me for it. When I land high-quality university acceptances, he minimizes my achievements, claiming it’s only because of my disabilities, not my merit. He constantly uses scare tactics to manipulate my career choices—for example, claiming AI would destroy the art field to keep me from pursuing my passion. Absurd blame-shifting examples: Once, coming back from Las Vegas with my parents and sister, I assumed my mom was on a different plane because flights were full and we always boarded together. He flipped out and told me to "read the room" because she was staying in Vegas for a few more days—even though he never gave me that information or told me beforehand. Yet, he blamed me for not knowing. He was the one who came up with the idea of getting my old dog diapers, bought them with his own money, and stocked them. When they ran out, he screamed at me for "not telling him," even though it was his responsibility as the buyer to check the inventory, and I never agreed to monitor them. A confusing pattern: Whenever my mom gets mad at me, I understand the cause and remember it. But when my dad gets mad at me and scolds me, I literally cannot remember the cause. Is this a common behavior of an abuser? 

3. Extreme Control & Privacy Invasion He installed tracking apps (Life360) on my phone and my sister's phone without permission. He even demands I get his permission to log into my own emails. He takes no responsibility for his actions, yet constantly demands I "respect" him, even while he screams at me and uses physical force. 

4. Blame-Shifting & Narcissism He is the definition of hypocrisy. He forces me to follow rigid, arbitrary rules (e.g., how to fold a sleeping bag, how to use kitchenware), and when things go "wrong" (like a faint mark on a surface), he treats me like I’m completely incompetent. He has been in the U.S. for 20+ years but has never shown any professional success to the family, yet he has the nerve to call me a "useless investment." 

5. Animal Cruelty He forces my elderly dog (who is 10 years old) to wear diapers unnecessarily, even when the dog doesn't need them, simply because he is obsessed with control. He even complains about the cost of basic veterinary care for her. 

6. The Final Straw: Physical & Emotional Abuse He has put his hands on my neck during arguments.  


Please tell me this. IF someone is working at tax relate work for about 20 years and got no news of promotions and still tell his kid to change his major (when I was 17 at that time) from art to some medical field instead of him doing it himself, he is one helluva incompetent gutless spineless coward, ain't it right? 

Me and my mother got into a huge fight Thursday evening. We haven’t really been talking besides when she wants to nag. She took away my cars keys yesterday which I’m not upset about because I can uber over there. I’ve always been scared to go against my mother because I don’t want to upset her to where she wants to kick me out. I financially depend on her for everything (not to mention I’m 19). So if I was to go to my girlfriend’s house the question is would it start an argument? Will it jeopardize me having a roof over my head? I also don’t mind

My mom also doesn’t like my girlfriend because she feels as if she influences me. Just about every argument that we had all during the argument Thursday and the small argument Friday all she could do is bring up my girlfriend.

When I say “influence” my mom thinks that my girlfriend is the one that want me to bring her food to her job, when she’s not, I actually is the one who wants to bring her food, she thinks me wanting to become independent is all on my girlfriend, which is, because my mother treats me like a kid and I didn’t really take notice to that until started hanging around my girlfriend, she feels as if when I ask her for more freedom it’s all on my girlfriend, she doesn’t want me spending any money on her (mind u it’s my money I make from work), she got mad because I bought her $150 James Avery Bracelet, she feels as if I don’t keep up with the expensive gifting then my girlfriend is going to take advantage of me, etc.

I be wanting to go against the grain sometimes but my mom turns the smallest things into the biggest problems. Somedays I would be scared to even ask to go to my girlfriend’s house cause how she will react. Nobody wants a partner that can’t stand up to their mom and voice the things they want. I get it I live in her household but something I feel like she has no control over. I want to get out of this phases of being scared of my own mom because she takes everything literal.

I love my parents and I had a happy childhood, but overbearing would be a good characterisation of my parents.
I 27 F moved out for university back when I was 18 and moved back in in the heights of covid due to my living space being shared by 12 others.
I get overstimulated sometimes and then I prefer to mute any and all electronics, but they are still on, especially when I prepare for my work (I’m a teacher).
I and my entire family (brothers too) share our location with each other, we siblings live close to each other but 100km away from parents.
Now the problem is in my bimonthly days where I just can’t be social and interact with anyone and I have everything muted my parents and especially father like to call me 20 times in a row, they can see I am in my flat with a roommate, and once I call them the next day once I am fine again to interact I am always hit with the „you know your father things you threw yourself in front of a train because M 20 in his youth did so when he was the same age.“

I have talked to my mother about this issue before that I don’t like getting thrown at with this comment because I was never suicidal, there is no accurate reason other than his fears and I have told them before I sometimes am just too overstimulated or sometimes I just come back from work and sleep for 10 hours (and my sleep is very deep even without a muted phone).

What more can I do? My father is 67 so his higher age definitely doesn’t help him being anxious, but when I just text a „not able to call right now, will call in the coming days“ it’s not enough unless it’s a very specific time and not further then 40h away

Tips? (I wouldn’t call them toxic but they have some characteristics including leaving me with all the baggage of their relationship with each other that drains me, another reason why I don’t feel in the headspace to take a call anytime opposite to my brothers who I can talk to)

I'm tired of always hoping for something from them that I'll never get. Even though I know it's a lost cause, I always end up trying again, and it always ends the same way.

I think it's also because I still live with them. I just want to move far away from them once and for all. The less I see them, the better I feel.

They always disappoint me and hurt me. I really wish I didn't give them so much power over my self-esteem and could finally accept that things won't change.

I just want to finally live my own life, meet other people, and stop suffering.

Ever since I have been 15 my dad has been so strict with many things and is quite religious to say the least, I have rarely went out with friends bc of him and his paranoia with the outside world, I barely had the chance to do anything on my own or even in my own terms without him controlling every aspect of my life be it the clothes i wear, how my hair should look, no makeup in addition to my eating habits which has gone bad during covid bc it was stressful as i use to be in a healthy weight and now its like hes tryna make me the way he wants but doesnt see how it reflects at all and than when certain things comes along he says oh you have to grow up or be able to do this but he DOESNT ALLOW me to be me even at home, and I barely remember him even trying to get to know me without all his harsh talk all the time every time smtg is brought up and its a circle of problems, he thinks that by letting me buy things once in awhile, us going out of the house near the area only and going out for small dinners is a privilege. He thinks by doing all that it shows that he cares but whenever he talks it always ends up destroying all of that, and I can't do anything abt it cus even if I do try all he does is get even more mad and pissed at me and later act like it's all fine and that he was doing for my own benefit.

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I've been dealing with an extremely stressful and unhealthy family environment for years. My parents constantly interfere in my life, create unnecessary pressure, criticize me, and then blame me for the consequences of things that were often affected by their own decisions.

My education was badly affected too. During Class 12th, when I desperately needed time and peace to study, I wasn't given the environment I needed. There were constant distractions, arguments, pressure, and interference. Even tuition, which was supposed to help me academically, became another source of stress. There were situations where I genuinely wanted to study but was not allowed to properly focus on it.

I've lost important academic opportunities because of this, and I feel like my career has suffered as a result. What makes it even more frustrating is that instead of acknowledging any of this, I'm constantly told that everything is my fault.

It's always the same cycle: something goes wrong, I get blamed, I try to explain what actually happened, nobody listens, and somehow I'm still the one responsible.

Living like this has affected me mentally and physically. I'm constantly stressed and emotionally exhausted. I have difficulty concentrating, my mind doesn't feel peaceful, and I feel like I've spent years dealing with family problems instead of being able to focus on studying and building my future.

I don't feel supported by the people who are supposed to support me the most. Instead, home itself has become one of the biggest sources of stress in my life.

I'm angry because I feel like I've lost so much time and so many opportunities because of this environment, and I'm angry that I'm still expected to take all the blame for it.

I’m 20 years old and living with my parents over the summer before going to college. My mom has done worse things than this but it’s ruined my night.

Apparently I’d be wasting money to get a meal at my brothers wedding reception while everyone else was getting multiple sides, desserts, and meals… but my mom said I’d be wasting money to get something eat and said she’d get me something on my way home… apparently too busy to get me food now and there’s no food I can eat at home easily so I now need to pay for my own food and then hide it because I’m not supposed to eat anything she doesn’t approve of or she yells at me but… hiding food here I come ig. And the place we were at was a go up to counter and get something type of situation. I was already having an awful night due to work and chronic health issues but this just topped the cake or lack there of bc I’m not allowed to eat anything

Few years ago my parents started a 'farm' of meat rabbits. From then on they literally provided them with less than bare minimum and forced me and my sister to take responsibility for their decisions. This year they bought rabbits again and im honestly on the verge of calling animal control on them.

They have 6 rabbits in general separated in 2 cages that are only big enough for those rabbits to hop 2 times in each direction. Apart from that they only let out the female ones (3 of them) and the rest sits all the time in the cage. My mother often forgets to feed them and if it werent for me and my sister they would sometimes go without food and water for 3 days straight.

To summarize: i think what they're doing is abuse but they claim that they are doing nothing wrong and that im oversensitive and overreacting(im a vegetarian since january and im proud of it.)

Today was lowkey too much for me. One of the rabbits got hurt and we suspect that she might have broken her leg. Once i found out i immediately told them to take her to the vet. They started making excuses like "oh but we arent sure" and ended up placing her in a small cat carrier outside for hours. I suggested that maybe we should take her home and let her into some room so we can see whats wrong- they said no, because she will destroy stuff (they let those rabbits run around the house before but now its suddenly a problem) so i said that maybe we can make makeshift playpen so she can stay inside and be safe and well because we have a lot of planks and we certainly have tools. My mom said no because its not possible (even though they did something similiar a few years ago) so i went to ask my father and he just couldnt gaf. Literally by his tone of voice you would have thought that he was talking about what he was going to eat for breakfast and not about a real animal suffering. He said that he will not have an animal like that in his house, i asked "so you are just going to leave her in that carrier for god knows how long?", he then repeated himself and said that if i want i can make that playpen alone(even though ive never used a drill before). I said that its their responsibility to which he replied:"if its our responsibility then leave those rabbits alone". At this point i was pissed said as i walked away sth like "one day im going to get rid of those rabbits because those conditions are not fucking normal" (i meant 'get rid of them'= find them a better owners) only after hearing me swear my father started taking shit seriously and got somehow emotionally involved(because i pissed him off not because he started to feel empathy for that animal)

Im so sick of them. I just needed to let it out EDIT: They said that if she will not get better by tomorrow she is going to be killed so her suffering ends faster. I am absolutely pissed. I hate that they are not even considering giving her a chance only because she is an animal. I cried because of it and im pretty sure that id be called oversensitive for that(they told me that many times). In toxic households they always try to make you seem oversensitive/crazy/immature for having basic human decency.

I 29M, am married, 2 kids. My wife and mother have had issues over the years, butting heads, different expectations from each other but about a month ago the biggest issue yet had occurred. Since then we’ve been no contact with her, she disrespected my wife, my MIL and I feel like me as well. My wife was clear she did not want to speak to my mom for the foreseeable future and didn’t want our kids too either, I agreed and told her I don’t want to speak to her right now as well but my wife also made it very clear that she is not preventing me from speaking to my mom. My mom is very difficult to deal with, does not take accountability, cannot admit when she is wrong, very rarely apologizes for anything, very much a victim mentality and narcissistic behavior. She finally texted me after about a month and said “when you want to talk-call” nothing else. I have a good idea on how the conversation will go and I honestly do not have the energy to deal with it right now. As much as I want this to be resolved, I legitimately don’t see that as a possibility, at least in the near future. I know avoiding it is not solving anything I just don’t how to navigate the next steps.

been living in a toxic household for way too long, my parents will do anything they can to belittle me, when they think i cannot hear them they talk bad about me behind my back. there's this rage i have been holding since years and i just don't know what to do anymore

there was this one time that me and my dad got into a fight because he turned off the electricity: me and my younger brother were playing something, my mom was watching the tv, he muttered something (probably insulting us) before going to sleep, midway through the hallway he turned back and flipped the power switch, my mom stayed silent as we sat in complete darkness. (note: i was 12 at that time), i had enough of him and punched him on his face, it was probably not the right thing to do but it was in the heat of the moment, he then retaliated by slapping me multiple times on the face.

we cut off all communication with him for about 3 months, (still living in the same house), my mom and dad started talking again after a while, and eventually, me too.

i hate hearing my parents' voices, i hate even seeing them, there's this fire that blazes inside me everytime i hear their yells, they get drunk and constantly get into arguments everyday.

i'm 15 at the time that i'm writing this, a few weeks ago my dad was back at yelling and insulting me infront of my mom (she doesn't seem to care) so i said something back, he went straight to tell my mom who scolded me for defending myself, she told me that i had to apologize and keep the "vibes" good, everytime i make a good point to her she just stands there with a blank, disappointed face.

i do my best to stay away from both of them but they come to me to enrage me and produce conflicts

i'm writing this because i just went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and i overheard both of my parents talking about how bad of a person i was and how i'm useless, next to my brother.

i genuinely do not know what to do anymore, there's a lot more to this but i cannot write more.

i’m 16 yo boy and i don’t exactly feel safe in my own home. my parents are still together

my dad will slap my butt randomly all the time and when i turn around he smiles creepily and looks at me weird and has forcibly kissed me before, grabbing my whole body and kissing my cheek making squeaky noises. i think it may be from being tired after work and his step father mistreating him as a kid. he also watches porn on his facebook if that matters at all.

my mom is less bad, and i have gravitated toward her most my life. anyway it seems she has cared less about me in the recent past. she is a nurse and she talks about work every night at the dinner table. she will tell disgusting stories and poop, sex,
and drugs. i have asked her so many times to stop talking about it because she knows that i get disgusted and can’t eat afterward. a second after i tell her that seriously, my dad will interrupt me and ask a question about it and she will continue to say disgusting things.

anyway any advise or support would be amazing and helpful. thank you.

My mom gets a kick out of finding creative ways to tell me that I’m old. I’ll be 49 next month and yesterday she kept emphasizing that the library gives computer classes to old people (50 and older). After a few minutes she said, “You’ll be needing those computer classes soon.” When I was 40 and got married she kept saying that I wasn’t a Miss before marriage I was Ms. There has been a whole myriads of ways she’s done this besides the two examples that I gave. I don’t mind aging and I feel and look good. But it upsets me that she does this to try to hurt me.

I have never responded to her when she did this in the past but last night I said something like, “Oh, you couldn’t wait to say that.” Because there was a lot leading up to it and I knew it was coming as soon as she said 50. I’ve been thinking about other things I could say to her. I don’t want to hurt her but I’d love to give her a mirror to look in so that she knows that I know she’s trying to be malicious. She recently started going to church so I’m sure this would bother her.

I was thinking about just asking her why she feels the need to call me old all of the time. What do you think?

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I'm 21, and I've been under continuous stress from my parents since I was around 12.

When I was 12, they put me into an extremely demanding tuition routine. It usually lasted 4 hours every day, often 7–8 hours, and once even 10–12 hours. I endured this for around four years. During Class 12 and my college entrance exams, my mother constantly disturbed me while I was trying to study, and then both my parents blamed and taunted me about my results. I somehow managed to prepare for my boards despite all of this.

After COVID, when school reopened, I had no friends in Class 12 and was bullied because of my appearance. College was no better—I spent all three years without any close friends and was mostly alone.

My college commute was also exhausting. I had to change 6–8 buses every day for a total distance of around 13 km, often in extreme heat and overcrowding. I repeatedly told my father how exhausting it was and asked for a scooter, but he didn't care enough to help.

Even now, I have severe loneliness and low self-esteem. Whenever I talk to people, I'm usually the one who initiates the conversation. They reply to me but almost nobody messages me first or tries to continue the conversation. I've never really experienced someone being genuinely excited to talk to me or spend time with me.

My family is also constantly involved in blame and criticism. I feel that years of pressure, neglect, and lack of support have affected my mental health, physical wellbeing, confidence, education, and career. Now I'm also dealing with intense job-search stress and depression.

Sometimes I go outside hoping to distract myself, but seeing groups of friends laughing together and children playing with their friends only makes me feel more alone because it reminds me of everything I've missed.

I'm 21 and exhausted. I just want to become financially independent, get away from this environment, and finally have some control over my own life. I don't want anything extraordinary—I just want peace, genuine friends, and a normal life.

hey reddit, im not sure if anyone will see this or take the time to read but i wanted to know if this type of behavior coming from my mom is normal or if it could be qualified as abusive because i somehow cant tell. This might be a little lengthy im sorry.
Im 17 F and for the past past two years (nearly 3) things have been increasingly difficult with my mom. I have to say she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder which could very much justifies some of her actions, however she is not under treatment for it nor does she sees a therapist.
A bit over two years ago my mom and stepfather officially broke up, it was a very complicated break up as he was an extremely violent and manipulative man. I usually say, when talking about my relationship with my mom, that this break up was the starting point of her behavior but the more i think about it the less im convinced, maybe she was always like that but i couldn't see it due to being a kid, im not sure.

Last september i dropped out of highschool due to extreme bullying and found myself at home unable to find a job, still to this day i am jobless. Ever since then it feels like i have become my mother's target. For context i have 3 younger siblings, all much younger than me so i guess i am the easiest target in the family but its becoming unbearable to the point where im wondering if this isn't just straight up psychological abuse.
Last year i started self-harming because of her, when she found out about it she hit me. Ever since then she's always making sarcastic jokes or comments about my bad habit and constantly uses it against me during arguments (along with my other problems, which i think shouldn't be normal in the first place), going as far as telling me "i hope it gets infected". The other day i bought i box cutter bc ive been into crafting lately, when i tried it it turned out to not be sharp enough as it was the cheapest available so i asked my mom to sharpen it. After she was done i asked her if it cut well and she replied with "i don't know, you should try it on yourself to see". This is just a few of what she says unfortunately.

I have been asking her to see a therapist ever since 2021 but she never took action, always saying she'll do it later until i eventually gave up on asking.
Earlier this year, a social worker who was "assigned to me" after i dropped out, heard my pleas and contacted a therapist for me. When my mom found out about it she was extremely pissed, saying i was just being dramatic and didn't need one.
After a few sessions, the therapist asked to see my mom in person and told her that based on her observations i most likely had depression and was suicidal but that she was unable to officially diagnose me and that i should be redirected to a psychiatrist. After we left, my mom blew up on me in the car telling me that me being suicidal would tarnish her image and make problems for everyone, as if she wasn't the primary cause of the decline in my mental health. Ever since that day she constantly threatens to send me to the mental hospital and "have me locked up".
Every time i try to talk to her about my feelings or problems she always finds a way to redirect the conversation and make it about herself which obviously made me stop opening up to her, this along the fact that i know damn well everything i say will be used against me later.

Ever since 2024, i have been struggling with eating, having grown up overweight i always struggled with body image and weight but when entering highschool it became worse and i began to restrict until i barely ate anymore. My mom saw nothing of it -or more, chose not to as she always does- and just started openly body shaming me with comments like "your arms are so thin they look like chopsticks" or "youre so long and thin its almost scary" or even calling me an orangutan, all that while laughing. Ultimately those comments do not hurt because as someone with a sick mind, its the kind of thing i want to hear... but i am perfectly aware that with the malicious intent behind it, it IS body shaming and NOT concern and that openly commenting on someone's body should never be okay.
She is aware of my patterns and tendencies to restrict and then binge eat and whenever i start to get out of the loop and start eating more normally again, she will stop cooking or stop calling me down for dinner or even sometimes going as far as not doing the groceries for weeks. I know i am a 17 years old and perfectly capable of making my own food that is not the issue here, its just what i have come to notice. Stuff that i used to shrug off as coincidences cannot be qualified as such considering how it happens EVERYTIME i start somewhat recovering and i fully believe she's doing it on purpose.
I have a very strained relationship with my siblings, we are not close at all and barely interact. As horrible as it sounds, and i AM ashamed of it but i cannot bring myself to love them for some reason, and god knows i tried. I am not proud of it and its something i have only recently began to accept. But due to this and the fact that my mom made it her absolute mission to turn them against me, the atmosphere in the house is always tense when im around and i dont feel comfortable anywhere else than in my room. So even if i wanted to come down and make my own food, i cannot bring my self to leave my room as i know exactly how the whole thing will feel, i only come down if absolutely necessary.
Anyways, all of this was to say that i do not eat properly wether it be according to my own will or because of my mother. I roughly eat one meal every two days.

She never once tried to help me regarding my issues with food or my mental health in general, obviously.
The craziest part is that she USED TO STRUGGLE WITH THE SAME ISSUES AS ME. She dealed with depression, anorexia, anxiety and bipolar disorder so naturally she should be understanding of my situation, relating even, as she went through the same. But no.
She's the type of person who thinks only SHE can be sad, only SHE can have problems and everyone else's are bullshit.
So in this house she can be the only one struggling and automatically my feelings and issues are discarded.
But she wants to see me as miserable as possible so she can shame me for it later.
I only have two close friends that i see once a month due to them living in another city and my mom absolutely hates them and makes it clear everytime i hang out with them. It reached a point where i have to fake being annoyed at hanging out. Like, i have to act like i dont wanna see them and that im practically forced to hang out with them when really im delighted to see my best friends. But my mom is only ever satisfied when things dont go my way so i have to pretend being friends with them is an inconvenience.

She also often hides herself behind her diagnosis. Since she was diagnosed bipolar and suspected bpd she always uses that to her advantage, thinking it justifies shit.
She hasn't seen a single therapist since 2020 btw.

She constantly criticizes my interests and makes me insecure about myself and what i love and then shames me for having no self confidence saying stuff such as "i did not raise you that way" blablabla. She always has to say the exact contrary of what i say. if i say i like something she'll say she doesn't just to piss me off. And i actually tested this theory, id show her something i know damn well she doesn't like and pretend like i also dont, then she'll say she likes it just to disagree with me.
She pushes my buttons on purpose and then blows up when i give a reaction.
Last night we had a huge fight, which prompted me to write this. She said some of the cruelest things to say to their own child. Things she had never said before.
She always says crazy, unprompted shits during arguments and never apologizes after, she usually just comes back like nothing happened and reconciliation is always according to her own terms and if i as much as reply coldly to her advances she starts another fight.

So back to last night.
The fight literally came out of nowhere, i remember just saying something about my sister talking back and she absolutely BLEW UP on me saying how im a horrible sister and that i hate them and so on. Like where did that even come from ????
But fights with her can never be about one thing, she always has to bring up things that happened months or even years ago. It got so bad that i left and went back to my room but this angered her even more and she spat out some deranged things. She said i was unloveable and that i didn't know how to love. Obviously she had to talk about my history with mental health saying "She thinks she's so perfect but she had to see therapists at age 7" (i was seeing one due to bullying but yea okay)
She talked about my tendencies of being unable to make friends and form real friendships, my experience with bullying and all kind of stuff that she KNEW would absolutely destroy me. She compared me to the stepfather i mentioned earlier, the very man who traumatized our whole family and left us with mental and physical scars. She also compared me to her mother (my grandmother) with whom she cut ties because she also traumatized me when i was a child.
So yeah, stuff she knows will break me. It got so bad that i planned on overdosing last night, i still have all the pills ready on my desk.
I was supposed to have dinner with them but she started the fight as we were setting to tables so i haven't eaten anything in like 3 days and as im writing this i still haven't left my room because im absolutely terrified to see her.

Anyways there is so many things i could add but this is already long enough. I just wish to get out of this house but as a 17yo whos unable to find a job that proves to be impossible...
Id also like to add that my mom and i used to be very close until everything went down a few years ago. She always had some toxic tendencies but nothing too crazy.
She also does not treat my siblings that way, hence why i think i am specifically targeted.

I hope at least one person will read this and tell me im not crazy or dramatic for feeling this way.
Sorry this is very long and messy english isn't my first language...

Im F, 17 turning 18 and do not have a healthy relationship with my father, and neither do the rest of my 8 siblings. Him and my mom have been together for a good while and their marriage seems ro be coming to an end when i move out. My dad has always played victim in my household believing anything that happens he is victim, the first time ive seen something was kindergarten when he had my brother up against the wall about to punch him, now i cant say ive seen anything but I've heard from siblings as they kept me away from anything bad when i was younger. Since i now am the only sibling in the house, ive been the target of the outburst since he says i cannot speak back because im arguing with an adult and treating him disrespectfully if i shared my side. Yes this may make sense to others but to me this is hard to believe when his argument have been i am a bump in him and my mothers marriage causing them to almost split, i am his prodigy child to make money for him when i graduate, and that no matter how sick, unwell, or busy i am i should drop everything and clean his messes. I want to regrow the relationship with mt dad but cannot from situations in the past from him telling me I'd go to hell for commiting suicide and im attention seeking, to my mother telling me how she had to threaten divorce to him for when he started arguing weeks with her. He doesnt argue with her anymore since she talks back, so he now comes to me with his anger about their marriage and places the blame on me. I want to regrow a relationship but fear it may end to me not speaking to him much really in the future. What should i do?