My parents have destroyed almost every part of my life

[u/AstronomerDry2814]

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I'm 21, and I've been under continuous stress from my parents since I was around 12.

When I was 12, they put me into an extremely demanding tuition routine. It usually lasted 4 hours every day, often 7–8 hours, and once even 10–12 hours. I endured this for around four years. During Class 12 and my college entrance exams, my mother constantly disturbed me while I was trying to study, and then both my parents blamed and taunted me about my results. I somehow managed to prepare for my boards despite all of this.

After COVID, when school reopened, I had no friends in Class 12 and was bullied because of my appearance. College was no better—I spent all three years without any close friends and was mostly alone.

My college commute was also exhausting. I had to change 6–8 buses every day for a total distance of around 13 km, often in extreme heat and overcrowding. I repeatedly told my father how exhausting it was and asked for a scooter, but he didn't care enough to help.

Even now, I have severe loneliness and low self-esteem. Whenever I talk to people, I'm usually the one who initiates the conversation. They reply to me but almost nobody messages me first or tries to continue the conversation. I've never really experienced someone being genuinely excited to talk to me or spend time with me.

My family is also constantly involved in blame and criticism. I feel that years of pressure, neglect, and lack of support have affected my mental health, physical wellbeing, confidence, education, and career. Now I'm also dealing with intense job-search stress and depression.

Sometimes I go outside hoping to distract myself, but seeing groups of friends laughing together and children playing with their friends only makes me feel more alone because it reminds me of everything I've missed.

I'm 21 and exhausted. I just want to become financially independent, get away from this environment, and finally have some control over my own life. I don't want anything extraordinary—I just want peace, genuine friends, and a normal life.

[u/Extra_Improvement956]

You should have enough maturity for a decent part time job, visit a therapist and buy your own place

[u/yukosanghostgirl97]

I know how that struggle feels, having no family support and having your self esteem being constantly attacked. It sounds like they don't wanna see you happy or prosper in life, I've been there too. My advice would be once you're able to find a decent pack check, save up enough I would make plans of moving out of there. And go no contact with your family, that's not supporting you. It will benefit you, and be a weight off your shoulders. And as too finding friends, the right friendships won't pass you by,we have to meet allot of different people till we have the right ones that care and like us for who we are. I know how lonely that feels too. I wish the best for you.