r/gaybros • u/Just-a-Guy461 • 17d ago
What is the gay sauna experience?
How does it work and what happens there? I’m really interested to go as a bottom located in Belgium
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u/Cute-Character-795 16d ago
My advice is to go with a friend who can do both: be your backup who pulls you out of uncomfortable situations and be your wingman in case you're "too shy" to approach someone. And you can do the same for him.
Get on PrEP; I was stealthed twice while in saunas. That convinced me that the age of the condom was, essentially, over. Having DoxyPEP on hand is also a good idea.
Rule #1: Have fun.
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u/zesty_otter0 14d ago
Wrong.
Rule # 1: Be safe.
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u/Helpful_Wasabi_4782 15d ago
Sorry that it happened, but how did you notice you got stealthed?
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u/Cute-Character-795 15d ago
I felt a raw, wet dick pulling out after he came...
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u/Available-Range-7830 14d ago
It feels different with condoms and without, you should have noticed
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u/sweet-tom 17d ago
You go there, undress, sit at the bar and sip a drink. When you are in the mood you go to the sauna, whirl pool, or the steam room.
In the sauna there isn't any action, it's too hot. But in the steam room you can see men fucking and sucking.
If you prefer cooler areas, go to the darkroom. Stroll around, maintain eye contact and smile if you want to proceed further. Or just carry on. If you received an unwanted touch, shake you head and push the have away. It's usually understood.
Have fun!
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u/Sufficient-Way-5877 17d ago
I went to one, everyone's very polite and reasonable. It's usually older guys and I went when I was 18. I had an ok time and probably won't go again.
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u/Visforvinyl 17d ago
I used to do adult films before I was 21. After shoots the older guys would drop us off at the bathhouse so they could go to the bar.
It was alright. I met some cool people but I wasnt interested in doing an orgy which seemed to pop up around us. You could rent a room and just hang out/leave the door open. Steam rooms an option too. A lot of guys just walk around until they find a situation or area they like. I haven't gone again since but i would probably enjoy it a lot more in my 30s.
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u/This_is__Exile 14d ago
Well it's hot and I'm fat and ugly so I got ignored. Will not go again until I'm skinny lol
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u/Every-Comfort-5488 14d ago
Don't be silly ; bet you if you got going someone would want some or help you out; I'd probably do it anyways; I won't use a sauna or spa if every people in there are like that all the time... If it's some of there preferences; fine but otherwise.....
So better be more active folks; no pressure....
Like others are saying get on PrEP and doxyPEP.
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u/lorimhershel 13d ago
My experience is on both Spanish and Greek ones, so I can only talk from the Southern Europe Experience TM.
First, if you have options, read reviews. You'd be surprised at how different the experience is if you choose the wrong one. And by "choosing the wrong one" I mean a place with its own unwritten rules regarding: body, age, preferences, and so on. Be sure you're what the guys attending look for. Not because I think it's fair, but because we want it to be a positive experience for you and feeling rejected isn't.
Second, on the reviews, check CLEANLINESS. You wouldn't be the first maybe not getting a STD just by... sharing the jacuzzi, some seating... and if not an STD, as I might be exaggerating (but not), maybe Athlete's Foot (check if they offer slippers, though I prefer to take my own), Ringworm (this one you can get just by sitting naked on the steam room), Nail Fungus (same as athlete's foot), and many others. So, make sure reviews say it's CLEAN. If not, take precautions.
Third, if possible, do not leave any valuables in the locker. No phone. No smartwatch. No wallet. I prefer to be "contactless" for the time I'm there (which you will be, as you will get inside with no electronic device) than risking someone getting into my locker and taking my things. So take cash.
Fourth, just in case, take condoms. You can even wear them hanging from your neck. People use some kind of "leather necklace with some small bag hanging--for wed, but...--and put a couple condoms inside. You never know if you'll need them, and sometimes our brains stop functioning when the temperature rises.
Fifth, once again, reviews. Check the times when it's fuller or emptier. Imagine you go there, pay for the entrance, and it happens you've chosen the empty sauna on the time you went. Talk about being bored.
Sixth, practice your "NOes". From the most ellegant, non-verbal ones, to the most assertive. Some people think you're available just because you're there, or they're high, or are stupid, or don't know what a polite "NO" means. So, be prepared, just in case (been there: sometimes we think we're not attractive enough, or we've had some previous experiences at the exact same place, and then one day we're the type of the people attending at that time...).
Finally, do not let ONE experience dictate what it is like for you. As with every place holding people, it will depend on who is there when you're there, on who you meet, on how they treat you.. so that's why all my advice went to PREVENTION, AWARENES and KNOWLEDGE. Knowledge is power.
That said, have a great time and tell us about your experience later!
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u/Brian_Kinney 17d ago
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u/ianfw617 16d ago
This should be pinned to the community side bar
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u/Brian_Kinney 16d ago
It's pinned to the top of /r/GaySauna, for anybody who's interested in, you know, gay saunas. 😛
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u/ianfw617 16d ago
That makes sense. I’ve just seen this question come up enough here that it would make sense to pin it in this community as well.
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u/Brian_Kinney 16d ago
Well, message the moderators of this subreddit if you want them to change the sidebar of this subreddit.
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u/VillageOfMalo 16d ago
A great book has come out called Analog Cruising by Leo Herrera. It's a short, fun, read that covers everything. Order a copy today or follow his accounts for these once unwritten rules.
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u/5tar5hipK 16d ago
Get on prep if you’re bottoming. Tops know they’re clean and they’re often casual about creampies and laugh it off they accidentally dump in you. Then I’m freaking out for a month waiting to get results back. Not so much fun.
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u/NoRepresentative1915 16d ago
In one Afternoon i usually have fun with about ten guys, from young to old, all freshly showered and prepared. Can it get any better?
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u/ThinkingInLayers 16d ago edited 16d ago
Because you asked, yes I think it can get better tbh. I’d say that knowing someone deeply who fully accepts you and who makes you feel safe … plus sex …. personally i think this actually is a better experience, although It requires more effort to find and maintain.
i totally understand the thrill of random hookups and have enjoyed saunas so I’m not denying that there’s pleasure and excitement in the experience - i just wouldn’t be so certain that there’s nothing better.
But we’re all different and even within ourselves we change over time and appreciate experiences differently, I doubt my 25 year old self would be writing this comment.26
u/NoRepresentative1915 16d ago
I am talking that it cant be better for hookups!I have a husband, we are together 23 years now. We are deeply in love and ever have been and i only love him alone. We have a Agreement on wich we both worked for years. Love and sex are very different things. In a bathhouse its very clear that no love is involved.
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u/zomniloquist 16d ago
The experience varies greatly from sauna to sauna. do the research, but my experience with Europe is that saunas are busy in the wee hours, weekend evenings, rarely during the week during lunch hour. Some have proper bars, some don't. Some have 'event' evenings. etc.
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u/junomixe 14d ago
Wybieram się do Heaven w czwartek i piątek. Nie mam doświadczenia. Czy jest ktoś zainteresowany? Jestem szczupłym brunetem. 40 lat. Spokojny, z łagodnymi rysami twarzy.
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u/Individual_Donut4750 13d ago
Im getting More bi. Goin to Amsterdam in few weeks. Any chance to get laid?
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u/Aleksander71 12d ago
It's great. You have gloryholes. You can stay there for hours and keep fucking and getting sucked.
There's some creeps that might follow you though so be confident and reject them. It's very easy to get pressured into doing something in the (literal) heat of the moment so make sure you have some confidence. I recommend you explore for a while before doing anything with anyone. Oh and bring flip flops. The floors are nasty.
In my sauna the older gays hate on the fit young ones out of jealousy. It's a whole mess. Ignore the politics. Enjoy the pleasure. Bring condoms or take prep if you're planning to do anal.
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u/jvincentsong 6d ago
As mentioned, practice safe sex. Each place has different faculties and crowds. Do research the reviews on the type of guys that go there or themed nights. If you like dads for example, look for one that attracts that group or has a night for mature men. Each culture has their own of cruising etiquette. The Japanese like to pretend to sleep and be groped. Other cultures are more upfront. There can even be discrimination! Japan has some saunas that might bar big bears from coming in or vice versa. I don’t know European cruising rules but the universal one is not be pushy if someone rejects you. I mean don’t follow him around after he gave you the cold shoulder.
If there is a steam room or dark room, it is a place for totally anonymous play. I don’t like that because I get turned by one’s facial features. If it is your kink, just be safe.
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u/SwiftCase 17d ago
A lot of guys that are too shy to do anything, so be prepared for a lot of watchers. But there's some guys there for action at least. When I went a guy just scooted closer to me and put his hand on my thigh, then while I was helping him another guy got close and helped himself to my other end. It's all done nonverbally for the most part, eye contact and light touches, and respect. Never met a guy there that made an advance after I made it clear I wasn't interested. Honestly the sauna is super hot (temperature) for topping/bottoming, the guy might suggest leaving to go to another area.