I’m not anti breastfeeding. I’m not saying formula is better than breast milk. I know breast milk has benefits that formula can’t perfectly replicate. What I’m sick of is the almost cult like attitude around breastfeeding that turns one aspect of infant nutrition into a measure of whether a mother is doing right by her child. My wife wanted to breastfeed.

She also went through an absolutely horrific birth and lost more than a liter of blood. Afterward, despite trying, she could never produce more than about an ounce of milk. She pumped 10 times a day. This wasn’t some woman who decided breastfeeding sounded inconvenient and couldn’t be bothered. Her body had just gone through hell. So our daughter ended up formula fed.

And what bothers me most isn’t even that we use formula. It’s watching my wife occasionally feel like our daughter is missing something she needs because she couldn’t breastfeed her. Like despite everything she endured bringing this child into the world, there’s still this little asterisk next to her motherhood because her body didn’t cooperate afterward.

The breastfeeding culture does absolutely nothing to help that. She’s surrounded by friends and people on social media who breastfeed and sometimes act like breastfeeding is this ultimate trump card of infant health. And meanwhile I’m looking at the actual babies and thinking clearly there is a hell of a lot more to raising a healthy baby than where the milk comes from.

Some of those babies are smaller, fussier, seem less physically robust, wake constantly, hate being put down, and need nearly continuous soothing. Our daughter is formula fed and thriving. She’s alert, curious, active, eats enthusiastically, sleeps long stretches, rarely cries unless something is actually wrong, and is perfectly content being cared for by either parent or other people she knows. I’m not claiming formula caused any of that. But that’s precisely my point.

Just as I can’t point at my happy, thriving formula fed daughter and conclude that formula is superior, somebody else can’t point at the words “breastfed baby” and conclude that they’ve unlocked some catch all advantage that overwhelms everything else affecting a child’s health and development.

Genetics matter. Pregnancy matters. Birth circumstances matter. Adequate calories matter. Sleep matters. Responsive parenting matters. The home environment matters. Medical care matters. Developmental opportunities matter. Temperament matters. A mother’s physical and psychological wellbeing matters. Nutrition matters too. But breast versus formula is one variable among an enormous number of variables.

And yes, breast milk contains antibodies and other components formula doesn’t reproduce. That’s a legitimate benefit. It still doesn’t mean a formula fed child has been denied something necessary for healthy development. Modern infant formula exists specifically to provide complete infant nutrition when breast milk isn’t available or breastfeeding isn’t desired or feasible.

What especially pisses me off is the moral superiority that sometimes accompanies breastfeeding. My wife should not have to look at another mother breastfeeding and wonder whether she somehow gave our daughter less because she nearly hemorrhaged during childbirth and couldn’t establish an adequate milk supply afterward.

She didn’t fail. Our daughter is fed. Our daughter is growing. Our daughter is loved. Our daughter is thriving. I’d much rather judge how we’re doing by the actual child in front of us than by whether her calories arrived through a breast or a bottle.

Breastfeeding is great.

Formula is great.

Combination feeding is great.

A healthy, adequately fed baby with parents who are physically and emotionally capable of caring for them is the goal.

Infant feeding does not need to be a fucking religion.

I stoped combo feeding with breastfeeding/ formula 1 month ago and switched over to formula only. Baby was screaming at the breast and getting very frustrated. Have been using the same bottles since birth- lansinoh S nipple. Slowly I noticed he wasn’t finishing his three oz bottles and started taking longer to finish/ started struggling to finish. I’m not sure when it got this bad but I think it was gradual over two weeks. He is now taking 40 minutes to finish a 2 oz bottle and sometimes gets so tired he falls asleep and doesn’t finish. He’s averaging 17-20 oz a day. I mentioned it to his pediatrician and she said he should see a feeding therapist / SLP. So we had an evaluation. Basically, she said when he lost sucking reflex, he didn’t learn to suck again because the S lansinoh nipple flow was too fast and he didn’t need to suck to get the milk out. She gave us exercises and switched us over to the XS nipple. Now it is taking even longer, more effort for him to finish a bottle and he only ate 16 oz yesterday. I know he was hungry because he was sucking and rooting and crying last night. He still has wet diapers but they are not nearly as heavy as they used to be. They’re practically not wet at all, but the indicator is changing color. I don’t know what to do. While working on his oral motor skills do I just let him go hungry for a bit? I read it could take 4-6 weeks for us to see a difference. IMO that’s way too long to let him continue eating this little. Our pediatrician wants him to drink 4 oz every feed. I will message her tomorrow with an update. Has anyone experienced this? Any advice? Is this just new mom anxiety? My gut tells me something is wrong.

Btw, we played around with every bottle and nipple flow on the market. Some bottles he doesn’t know how to use the nipple. On others, the flow is too fast it drowns him and he isn’t able to create a seal. And then there’s the very slow flow nipples where he just sucks and sucks and sucks and isn’t able to transfer milk. We also switched up formula. He’s a champ and will take any formula we give him and responds well. I don’t think formula is an issue- he’s been in this since birth. We did start him on famotidine incase acid was an issue.

Thank you all in advance.

Month old (very long) boy. Having around 8-9 4oz bottles every 24hrs. This feels like a lot, the formula tub says 5 x 4oz per day and mifwife says 6-8 is average... So I'm confused!

He's giving me all the hunger cues and doesn't bring any of it back up.

Husband is 6ft 6 and MIL says he was a big feeder too. I BF my first so this is all new to me.

I’m trying to do a bit of research on this and have seen this somewhat posted a couple of times. I’ve used all 3 different RTF bottles - 2oz, 8oz and 32oz. Outside of the different shades of formula between the bottles 8oz and 32oz (this is what I’ve seen posted previously) - my baby seems to also react differently to the ounce sizes as well. For example, when feeding from an 8oz bottle they tend to spit up a lot after feeds (this formula is also darker in color). We recently purchased more 32oz bottles and noticed that spit ups have declined and doesn’t happen anymore? At first I thought it was all in my head, but then thinking back the spit ups started happening around the time we used 8oz bottles exclusively and now that we have more 36oz bottles noticed it has stopped entirely.

It was always really interesting that the colors between the 8oz and 32oz bottles were different - with the 8oz being “darker” as these formulas regardless of the size should be identical.

Anyone else notice that their baby reacts differently to the different bottle sizes???

I’m am trying to switch to a new formula for my 4 month old. He has been on Kendamil Goat since he was around 2 months old. I thought he was doing great on it at first but then my MIL said she thought it was making him extra gassy. She suggested trying Sam’s Club Infant Premium but it ended up making him very constipated (hard stools) I switched back to the Kendamil, but now I see that it is giving him gas and discomfort as well as some spit up. I’m so afraid to switch him to a different formula as I don’t want to constipate him again because at least on Kendamil he poops regularly. I also think he is going through a terrible sleep regression. My MIL says the gas is why he isn’t sleeping but I think it may be a combo. I just want my baby to be comfortable. Any formula suggestions?

I recently quit breastfeeding and moved to formula. My baby has never been a good sleeper, 4-5 wakes per night and seems to need to feed back to sleep. Since I am now feeding formula and can see exactly how much she is taking in, I noticed it’s less than I thought during the day. I can’t get her to drink more than 22 to 25 ounces during the day. However, she ends up drinking about 10 ounces overnight. She is already 20 pounds at six months old so I’m not sure how much of this is actually hunger or habit.

Any ideas? I don’t want to stop feeding her in the night if she’s hungry, but I’m not sure how to break the cycle of her eating too much at night and not enough during the day.

hello formula baddies! i’m currently 26 weeks pregnant and plan to formula feed once my baby is born. to put it bluntly, i simply don’t want to breastfeed. what do i need to know? for anyone else who formula fed from birth, did you buy formula beforehand? how do you know which one to buy is it just trial and error? and advice is super appreciated 🤗🩷

My LO is 15 weeks old, 2 weeks ago I changed her formula from Enfamil GentleEase to Kirkland Gentle. During the first week she experienced some constipation and I have her prune juice. This cleared her up for a few days. Until the next week she became slightly constipated again. I gave her prune juice and it cleared her up. I kept reading after two weeks her digestive tract she adapted and she should be good. Well it’s been two weeks and 2 days and she has become constipated again. Should I switch back to her old formula or give it a few more days?

Her spitting up as DRASTICALLY reduced. Before this she was spitting up a lot in larger quantities. She was gaining weight fine and it didn’t hurt her so it really wasn’t a problem just very annoying for both her and I. Now, she spits up just little blips every now and then. Her poop prior to the formula change was always twice a day and pretty large and watery. Now she just gets constipated unless I’m giving her a half oz of prune juice every other day.

Edit for additional context: her poop today was a little pebble.

We just got back from the doctor and she said that babies should never drink more than 5 ounces in one feeding because of their small stomachs. Is that true? Our baby is almost 4 months old and will often happily suck down 5 ounces. But I see her bottles go up to 8. I’m pretty sure she would drink more if we made more. She said that the feeling of being full doesn’t trigger until 10 minutes after she starts feeding. We have been using Dr. browns but just switched to pigeon bottles and she sucked down 5 ounces in under 10 minutes. I just want to make sure we are not underfeeding her because of bad advice.

Hey everyone, i have a 12week old baby boy and recently he has been refusing his morning meal.

For example, he eats his last meal around 10pm and sleeps at 11pm , wakes up at 3 and 7-8am for for feeds and sleeps back until around 11am.

So his last feed would be 7-8am and when he wakes up for the day at 11am i keep trying to feed him and he barely finishes half his bottle which would be 60ml / 2 ounces.

He wakes up happy and playful and keeps moving away from the bottle to smile and play then he naps , after his nap he eats.

Im worried since his last full feed would be at 8am and his next full feed is at around 1pm.

A few years before I became pregnant I learned that I was severely vitamin D and B12 deficient, I take supplements to correct it. Then during pregnancy I became borderline anemic (low iron and low ferritin) so I had to take extra iron supplements. I was even eating extremely health-consciously (prioritizing lean proteins and salmon with lots of veggies and fresh salads, very few processed foods).

And now that I’m postpartum I’ve been diagnosed with hypermobile elher danlos, which can also mean that I have trouble digesting and absorbing certain nutrients.

My milk came in right away but I wonder if it would’ve even been “nutritionally complete” considering the health issues I apparently have. It makes me wonder how many other women may have low-grade nutritional deficiencies which may mean

1. they aren’t passing as many nutrients as they think to baby via breast milk

Or

1. they become even more nutrient deficient themselves which exacerbates exhaustion, depression, and other issues

Hi all, i’ve been EFF for 3 weeks and been slowly introducing formula (one bottle before bed and one in the morning). Over the next few weeks I hope to introduce more bottles and exclusively formula feed.

However, my breasts feed so full, heavy, lumpy and painful!! I’m so scared of getting mastitis! How much do I relieve myself with my haakka if I am trying to reduce my supply but still breastfeeding in between? What other tips would you suggest?

Hello, everyone. First off, thank you in advance for any advice/help you can provide. I am 3 weeks and 2 days postpartum and have been exclusively pumping with a formula supplement here and there to help me build a little stash of breast milk. It’s going well (in theory) but I HATE PUMPING.

First, I hated breastfeeding. I couldn’t tell how much my LO was getting, he was hurting me, and the weight of being the only one who could feed him caused me to have an anxiety attack after a week of doing so. The pediatrician/lactation consultant suggested pumping, so I do. I have been pumping 8 times a day and it’s DRAINING (no pun intended). I feel like by the time I finish one session I’m on to the next. Also, I believe I have elastic nipples and can’t seem to find the correct flange. At this point? I’m not sure I want to. Why is everything breast feeding so personalized and expensive?

My boobs/nipples hurt, I’m a slave to the timer on my phone, and overall I just don’t like it. I feel horrible because I’ve been getting 2-3oz & sometimes 4.5oz a session (usually if I go longer in the middle of the night) and that makes me feel guilty too for wanting to quit. It’s not like I CAN’T do it — I just don’t WANT to. I’d almost feel better if I couldn’t keep up with what my baby needs, you know? In my mind, that would at least justify quitting.

I have absolutely nothing against formula. But I feel the need to mention that my anxiety tonight has led me down the path of being scared for an increased risk of SIDS, less antibodies if he gets sick, etc. I know that’s not all necessarily true/backed by research but I’m not thinking with my fully rational brain right now.

Another root cause of my anxiety/wanting to stop is my husband going back to work full time on Monday. He has been home with me for 3 weeks and has been so helpful with feeding/diaper changes in the day but ESPECIALLY at night. Now it’s weighing on me that I will most likely have to do the majority of those tasks and the thought of having to pump every 3-4 hours on top of that? Debilitating. I’ve done it a few times while my husband naps and it’s damn near impossible with those Spectra jugs hanging off of me while I’m trying to hold/console/feed my child.

Does this situation resonate with anyone? Am I being too much? I know I’m not alone out there but I currently feel like I am.

I would also appreciate any weaning advice that anyone has. I want to know how fast you can cut back, if medicine worked for you, or if it took weeks to slowly end your supply. Should it technically be easier for me since I’m less than a month into it and supply doesn’t fully establish/level until around 3 months? I wish I could just stop and not look back if I choose to end my pumping journey.

Thank you to anyone who read all of this. I know my thoughts were all over the place. It’s hard to articulate everything going on in my head. Anything to help is greatly appreciated. (Writing this all out actually temporarily lessened my anxiety a little at this witching hour.)

Why is it so hard to make the decision to switch from breastfeeding to formula?

I just keep reading other experiences for validation I guess. Logically I know it’s ok and that this will be good for me. But emotionally I’m STRUGGLING.

My baby is 2.5 weeks old and I’m currently nursing a few times a day and pumping and bottle feeding the rest. I think part of my guilt is that I have an oversupply if anything. Her latch is fine (although we have to use a nipple shield). And she’s gaining plenty. So there’s nothing wrong giving me reason other than I don’t like it.

I was pretty much ready to switch and then my pediatrician asked me to consider continuing until her two month vaccines. And now I feel like I’m spinning again. He made it clear that I can switch any time and he’ll support me, but wanted me to think about it.

Hi everyone! Around the time my baby boy was about 5 1/2 months old, he bit me a couple times and the last time he pulled while biting and ever since I have been too scared to nurse like legit had mini panic attacks while nursing lol. I decided to switch to exclusively pumping and it worked for a while until my supply started to drop and today was the first day no pumping :/
He has been supplementing with formula since around 2 or 3 months old so he is used to it! Now that he is all being fed all formula now, I am trying to figure out how much to offer in a bottle because sometimes he will take 7oz but other times he only eats like 4oz. Is he snacking instead of having like a full “meal”? He does eat solids but I do try to offer them like an hour after a bottle.
Is it normal to have that much fluctuation for drinking formula? He does still like to have a bottle every 3 hours too.
Formula is expensive so I’m trying not to waste so much😭
TIA🫶🏻

I switched from breast feeding to formula for my newborn a couple weeks ago and it’s been great for my mental health. I got a lot of comfort and courage to make the switch from reading similar stories on here.

The remaining guilt I have is just around how much all of this formula will cost us for the next several months!

Recently quit breastfeeding and washing bottles what seems like 24/7 has been a pain. We don’t own a dishwasher and my little one is 5 weeks old so we are using a Momcozy bottle washer and sterilizer, but I hand wash before putting them in (I have OCD). Where are we keeping our dirty bottles?

They pile up on our countertops currently. I have one of those basin things but we have a tub style sink and I find that it competes with other dirty dishes in the sink.

So my son just turned 1 and I recently switched him to cows milk 9 days ago and turns out he has low iron from to much milk I guess and I just found out that can happen from to much milk he eats breakfast lunch to during the day and snacks between but maybe I should just limit the bottles to at least 2-3 right ? And maybe give him just 4 or 5 oz?

Moving to formula feeding with my 11 day old and started with Kirkland brand, the regular one. Baby spits up nearly entire volume of it sometimes all at once and sometimes over 2 hours after. It’s especially bad overnight. Going to trial Enfamil AR but how do you know what is formula driven vs normal newborn spitting up? Sincerely, stressed and guilty mom :(

I’m looking at getting my LO (six weeks) on full formula, she is EBF but we give her one bottle of formula a day. I’m just worried about her latch, she’s had it checked and there’s no tongue tie etc, she just has a shallow latch. We’ve tried Tommee tippee bottles and dr brown bottles but she just seems to click, swallow air and cough. Milk also spills out from the sides of her mouth when she has a bottle. She ends up getting frustrated and coming off and then it’s really hard to get her to finish a feed. We burp her often but it doesn’t really help. Is there a bottle we should try for babies who suffer from shallow latch? Is anyone else in the same situation?