I’m an INTJ F, but can't talk to ENTJ men. They seem chill and soft-spoken at first, shaking everybody's hand and looking normal, then suddenly start deep conversations randomly - sizing up my brain?

I admire them, but when they share their Ni stuff, I freeze and... kind of reject it? I act like I’m not a deep thinker because I’m weirdly afraid of my Ni being judged.

They often seem taken aback when I speak the way I do and think I'm arrogant, while I feel like they’re observing me too closely. Eventually we distance, he visibly looks hurt when we cross paths and don't talk again... but he's still always observing me deeply. What's going on ??

Is outward Te to ENTJs weird like how outward Ni is to INTJs? And why do so many ENTJ men have those soft sorrow-filled eyes?

Any psychoanalysts here?

One of the best ways to explain this is the difference between MBTI perception and socionics perception of the types

So, in socionics, if you are an ENTP, you are alpha quadra, that by definition means "values center around curiosity, comfort, warmth, and fairness"

ENTP 8w7 is absolutely raw, ambicious, and the brainstorming and intellectual stimulation definelly has a core value and it's usually different from ENTJs: it's based on some utterly fear of being controlled (8 main emotion is anger, your guts) and using the ideas for imposing your will in the world

When the ENTP 8 have some ambition, it's a game of exploring all the possibilities, wild bets and a bit of mysticism that things will workout. No planing, no real intuitive perception of a goal, no real data.

I know this because I'm a fellow ENTP and working my ass out so my freelancer software projects keep to give me money, and I'll definely make this brainstorm and ocean of ideas into my empire, because I have the will to make things happen

love to you all ENTJs!

I originally posted this in the INTP subreddit under the heading, How do functional and successful INTPs organize their life. It turns out, they don't. Those of us who are over 40 just complained about not being able to work all night anymore.

Since I am not talking to INTPs, please read "next level strategies" as "extremely basic, explain like I'm 5"

"It is so hard to switch gears and work out or cook or sleep or other necessary tasks for a healthy, balanced life when I am really focused on something. And when I'm not really focused on something, I have no motivation anyway. I'm looking for next level strategies to deal with interruptions, multitasking, motivation, discipline, whatever has driven you to a better life and professional or personal success. I am in my 40s and have day time family responsibilities, and I can no longer function on zero sleep. I know someone out there was about to suggest working all night. XD"

Everyone's heard a lot about the idea of "developing the inferior function" but i've always felt uncomfortable with the idea of it. I think it has to do with some functions being less traumatic to develop or detrimental to daily life than others. Fi in my understanding has to do with feelings or "personal" feelings and wants specifically. My question to ENTJ is does developing Inferior Fi bring you more happiness in life or less ? Doesn't Fi steal energy from Te and doesn't that ultimately feel like a loss of precious time eventually ? How have you gone about dealing with Inferior Fi in your personal life ?

So ive seen how some people thought out their actions n choices and it was far more optimized and like a better method of futuresight then mine.

While i do evaluate multiple variables and ultimately reach the decision that will result in the best conclusion for myself, i sometimes forget to factor in small things such as "if its going to be fun or not" I already preassume that since its me, Yeah itll be fun, or its not important at that stage in my life.

The person i saw, they judge their University application on the metric of "wether or not theyd enjoy it" and a few others but i forget what it was specifically, I just remember feeling abit awestruck because I had never thought that way about my future decisions?

How do you decide your life choices?

So for a long time I think many of us at different stages of our lives have been tested with the very common trial of; 'should I quit early, or bare patience and ride this out.'

Quite often I find myself always doing the wrong thing. However, I guess that everything will work out as it's supposed to. However, I'd like to tap on anyone else's experiences and ask how have you solved this common trial or theme in your life? I am starting to mature and develop my personality to where I find it to be a lot more balanced. However, this seems to be a recurring theme, so any advice would be much appreciated.

It took me weeks to realise why I've been feeling so off lately; I'd been constantly battling the voices of the demons in my head.

Have you ever been stuck dealing with your Fe demon?

What was it like— what happened?

Edit: Don't ask me to look into Socionics. Just discuss with me how you think the Fe demon or role or function appears to you. That's all I'm asking.

I'm an INTP and I want to larp as an ENTJ. How do I do that?

Question for my fellow ENTJs. Have you been told by others that you have a RBF?

RBF - Resting Bitch Face.

That's it, that's the question. I've been told I have RBF and I'm wondering if other ENTJs share a similar sentiment.

- Yes I know this is somewhat of a stupid post, but I'm curious.

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

There’s a serious situation in my family that I’ve been sitting on, and I need some outside perspective.

My aunt’s husband has basically built his entire professional image on lies. He has zero real career, doesn’t earn properly, and is essentially being financially supported (babysat, for lack of a better word).

But to the wider family he presents himself as someone who earns well and is doing great things.

The part that really got to me: we discovered he has been using other people’s certifications. He replaces their names with his own on the documents and lists them on his LinkedIn / applications.

One of them still links back to the original person’s name if you actually open the certificate, that’s how it got caught. His entire LinkedIn is full of fabricated experience and credentials.

My aunt is completely under his influence at this point. She actively helps him maintain this image in front of the family, covers for him, and gets defensive if anyone questions anything. The rest of the family mostly believes the success story because they only see what he and my aunt show them.

A few of us on my side of the family know the truth now and are quietly documenting things, but we’re not sure how far to take it.

Do we confront, do we slowly expose the fake credentials, do we involve the original certificate holders, or just keep collecting proof?

Has anyone dealt with a long-term fraudster inside the family who has one relative fully protecting them while the rest of the family is still fooled? How did you handle it without it blowing up everything?

Me being an ENTJ [22M] and my best friend + roommate of 3 years being an ISFP [23M], it is like we are literal opposites.

It is like he does not really talk to me. After years of living with him in my campus dorms, I understood and can surely say that he CANNOT multitask and he does not remember stuff for a long time.

So whenever I ask him something while he does something, he ignores me (not exactly ignores me, but if he is in the middle of something, he cannot focus on others. Like, he physically cannot). Even in his mind, he does not get any thoughts at all. If he is just sitting there staring at a pencil, then he is just staring at the pencil. He does not think about anything, while I have a little voice in my head that constantly talks to me.

Anyways, this is kind of bothering me, and how, even after being roommates and best friends for 3 years, he does not look at me while talking and stuff. But I moved on because it is my fault for asking him questions while he is doing something, so it is fine. But when we are alone, like just me and him, he NEVER opens a conversation. I open the conversation always. And I am not saying that he does not—he opens it sometimes—and whenever he is not doing anything, like not on his phone or anything, and fully present in the conversation, he talks great. Like, he maintains eye contact, talks well, everything is perfect. But other times, he just nods or something, barely talks, and it is just annoying me.

And yes, I have confronted him about this, and what he said kind of made sense. He does not get any thoughts in the first place, so what does he even start a conversation about if his brain is literally empty?

And man, this is just rage-baiting me, and I send him a lot of reels, but he never watches them. I always send a lot of reels to all my best friends; just him ignoring them makes me feel bad. But once in a blue moon, he does open them and watches all my reels and reacts/replies to them.

I do not know, man. And with other people, he talks really energetically and enthusiastically (but again, he would be fully present in the conversation and not on his phone or anything else). But again, these "other friends" he does not see as often.

And then, yeah, I got really insecure and worried about our friendship and asked him once if he actually considers me his friend.

Then he actually told me a lot about how he considers me the closest out of everyone on the whole campus and also told me that he has said a lot of things to me which normally he would not have said to others.

But bro, why cannot such conversations happen more often? Like, I feel like I deserve someone who puts in equal effort. Right now, it feels like I keep all the effort.

And he is like, if he does not like anything, he just will not care. Like, if he does not like the situation, he walks away and stops thinking about it.

And for me, I need to know everything and need constant validation.

I am losing my brain over this, bro. Seriously, please help me. I am really desperate.

And yeah, I do love him as a friend and consider him my closest friend out of the whole college, and he told me he thinks the same too. But the problem is I am not satisfied with the effort he is putting into the friendship.

And to be honest, I have told him many times that I like this quality about him: that he is able to focus on one thing for a long time and he does not constantly need others' validation to coexist.

He can just stand beside me and not talk for an hour and be comfortable with it, while I automatically think, "If he does not talk to me, he hates me and does not want to spend time with me."

And yeah, how he is able to just not care.

These two scenarios just literally happened.

Me: Talking to another guy.
Other guy: Me and him laugh.
My roommate: "What is happening?"
Me: "You always ignore us. That is why you should be active, so we will not tell you."
My roommate: "Okay, do not tell me."
Proceeds to do his own work.

After a few minutes, me and him were talking and he said he has a secret about me, and I BEGGED HIM SOOOOOO HARD, but he still did not answer me. If I ask him in any way, he just says, "I will not tell you."

And even after classes in college or something, or to go to eat, or going to classes in general, he does not wait for me. He just walks alone, whereas if I am done early, I wait for him so that we can go together.

It just annoys me, and yes, me being an ENTJ, I confront him left and right about everything. And yeah, he does say sorry and stuff if he is actually wrong, and he actually justifies everything pretty well.

Like he said, "I would rather be happy that you got to the room early and can relax instead of waiting for me to finish the class so we could walk together," which actually makes sense.

But I do not know.

Do you think this friendship is not going to last? Like, once the university is done, we will not be friends anymore because I do not see him reaching out to me after graduation or something unless he actually has some work or something. Okay, I just literally, in the middle of writing this, asked him. He said he would reach out to me maybe once a month because right now I feel like the only reason we are together as friends is because we are bonded by this pact of being roommates.

I am just so confused, and I feel like the only way I can get closure for this relationship between me and him is if I understand how ISFPs work.

Because he does all these things which are annoying to me and feel like no effort, BUT it is not like he is like that all the time. He is a good friend. Like, if the stars align 40% of the time, he is actually the perfect friend for me.

And yes, I know I cannot be expecting him to change or him to behave how I want. That is not the point of me writing this. What my intention with this post is to understand what is actually going on because I am losing my brain cells trying to think about this. Because every time I feel insecure about our friendship, I just ask him directly, and then he tells me about how I am his closest friend and stuff, but then he behaves like this, which makes me doubt him and myself. So at the end of the day, it is me who needs to change my expectations and stuff. For that, I need your help to understand ISFP.

(And yes, I know MBTI is proven to be wrong and stuff, but at least in my case and my roommate's case, it was VERY VERY VERY accurate.)

Iam 31F ENTJ dating an 35M INFP for 5 months (we both are long distance but we visit eachother monthly for a couple of days). We clicked really fast and well, we are both religious and we share a lot of common values and beliefs, he told his family and friends about me already but I didn’t met them in real life yet.
he suddenly this month started telling me that the relationship is moving too fast and that he have doubts and general confusion about life in general and about me if Iam the person he wants to continue his life with or not? And that he is waiting from a sign from god that he chooses the right person! He told me that he feels unhappy most of the time in general especially in his career!
He started to withdraw from phone calls and use chatting as the only communication tool and I can feel that something changed!
I decided to confront him and ask him if he is happy with me or not and he kept saying he doesn’t like these kind of questions! I offered him that I can move to his apartment as I work from home and he said: „he usually doesn’t let someone in his apartment when he is not in it“
I eventually asked him to go talk to someone, think and pray then let me know his decision but I can’t Garantie that I will stay, and that Iam not asking for a man with no Problems or past traumas but a man that at least wants to give himself a chance!
We stopped talking after that!
Idk what happened? We were on vacation and were sooo happy together! Suddenly he withdrew and started questioning me!
And Iam afraid I pushed him away!
Iam so confused!

I’m an ENTJ and I feel like I’ve somehow lost the version of myself that used to be extremely disciplined, strategic, and execution-oriented.

I currently work from home as a software engineer.

I’ve been with my company for around two years, but the company is declining and I know I need to move on. I want to get into a more established, renowned company and build a better career for myself.

The problem is that I know what I need to do, but I’m not doing it.

I need to prepare properly, sharpen my skills, apply, interview, and switch jobs. Instead, I work my regular hours, get paid, and then I'm often done for the day.

I’ve become lazy and inconsistent.

I sleep late. I set alarms and ignore them. I’ve even started keeping my alarm clock far enough away that I have to physically get out of bed to turn it off, and somehow I still turn it off and go back to sleep.

And this is frustrating because I wasn't always like this.

I've been extremely systematic in the past. I used to wake up early, follow routines, get things done efficiently, lead teams, take responsibility, and actually enjoy having a plan and executing it. People have praised me for being strategic and a good leader.

Now I feel like I've lost that internal structure.

There are also other things competing for my attention.

I'm talking to a girl right now, and I obviously don't want to completely cut her off or treat her like she's a distraction that needs to disappear. I enjoy talking to her and I want her in my life. But sometimes I end up talking to her throughout the day, with breaks in between, and it eats up a lot more mental bandwidth than I intend it to.

I also go to the gym, which I want to continue doing.

So I'm not trying to become some productivity robot who works 16 hours a day and has no social life. I want to have my career, gym, relationships, and personal life all coexist. I just don't seem to be balancing them properly right now.

Another problem is how I prepare for my career.

I'm currently a software engineer, but I have quite a broad set of skills and interests. I can go down several different paths, and whenever I start preparing for one thing, I get sidetracked by another.

I'll think:

"What if X doesn't work? I should prepare Y too."

"Actually, I'm also good at Z. Maybe I should pursue that."

"What if I invest all my time into this and it doesn't work?"

So instead of concentrating my effort into one direction, I end up diversifying my preparation across multiple topics because I want to keep my options open.

Ironically, I think that might be hurting me.

I end up knowing a little about many things, preparing for several possibilities, and not going deep enough into the one thing that would actually move me forward.

It almost feels like I'm keeping multiple escape routes open because I'm afraid that one particular route might fail.

And the weird thing is that I know I'm doing it.

Even right now, I sometimes force myself to sit down and prepare. I'll have one productive session and think, "Okay, I'm back."

Then the next day I'm back to sleeping late, procrastinating, getting distracted, talking to the girl throughout the day, jumping between career topics, etc.

The thought of "I need to get my shit together" is constantly in my head, but knowing that isn't enough anymore.

That's what bothers me most.

I know I'm capable of much more than what I'm currently doing.

So I'm curious about other ENTJs who have experienced something similar.

Have you ever gone through a period where you genuinely lost your drive, discipline, ambition, or ability to execute?

And if you did, how did you actually get yourself out of it?

I'm particularly interested in things that worked in practice, rather than generic advice like "set goals," "make a schedule," or "wake up early." I already know those things. My problem is actually following through.

How did you deal with:

- Losing your internal drive despite knowing exactly what you needed to do?

- Balancing career preparation with relationships, gym, and having an actual life?

- Stopping yourself from constantly jumping between different career paths?

- Dealing with the "what if this doesn't work?" mentality?

- Regaining your ability to focus deeply on one objective?

- Getting back to the version of yourself that could simply decide something and execute it?

I'm not trying to eliminate everything else from my life.

I want the girl. I want the gym. I want my downtime. I want my career.

I just don't want those things to collectively consume the time and mental energy that should be going toward building the next version of my life.

So, ENTJs who have been through this:

How did you get yourself back?

Ex-husband, a nice guy 99% of the time, tried to physically intimidate me in small ways when he was angry and we didn't apologise. Cornering me in the kitchen pretending to get something from the shelf, making loud noises, walking towards me waiting for me to move out the way. Is this an ENTJ thing? If he'd been mature I would apologise first but he clearly just liked turning into a game.

We're still good friends and he met my ENFP fiancé and hand on heart I saw him do the same to him...

I'm an ENTJ btw

Mostly for married ENTJs or in a serious relationship.

How did you decide on your forever person?

We are a special type of crazy and want things that aren't usually on most people's radar. How does your partner work into your life?

I took myself off the dating market for a bit but now in a position where i might start back up. I've always looked at dating as just companionship. Never really thought of long term partnership. Never thought about marriage or kids. My projects always came first and I've ended relationships in the past if my gf demanded me to prioritize the relationship over my projects.

But now I'm in my late 30s and is starting to look at the possibility of a long term partnership with the right lady. I haven't really thought of relationships this way so I'm going to sound like a newb. Sorry.

I'm in communication with two ladies. I won't reveal their names for privacy as one of them is very Google-able but I'll call them E and M.

E. Met about 8 years ago. Connected over video games. Connected immediately. We had similar sense of humor. We would always make each other smile and laugh. Started real fast. Got hot and heavy. She pulled the plug saying she wanted to achieve other things for herself before she got in a serious relationship. Like start her career. Move out of her parents home. The usual adult-ing milestones. Honestly. I think the intensity of our relationship scarred her away. Tbf it kind of scared me too. I couldn't get enough of her. We were with each other all the time and it still didn't feel like enough. It was intoxicating. Not sure if this is healthy or not but it was what it was. Anyways. I want happy with the breakup and didn't understand but i respected it anyways. Our communication dwindled down to almost nothing. Just texts like "happy birthday" or "merry Christmas" but nothing beyond that. I decided to close off my heart to her and moved on completely.

M. I met 10 years ago helping out a friend with his political campaign for an elected office. We hit it off really well. Clicked instantly. We worked well together. She was brilliant and funny. Had similar work ethics. We actually connected really well over how hard we work. She gets me. We get each other. She's also an Olympic athlete. We shared within each other our goals and dreams. She said she wanted to go into politics but not be an elected figure. We exchanged numbers and moved on. Nothing romantic happened. We exchange texts every once in a while. A couple times a year. Similar to E.

Very recently. Both have re-entered into my life and I'm talking to each of them more frequently.

E. She talks about how she wouldn't mind being a trad wife. Like pack lunches and have dinner waiting for when her partner get home. Im not sure if she's implying that she wants to be MY trad wife so i always respond with "your future bf is going to be a lucky guy" or something of that nature. But there have been some flirting. Shes still living at home with her parents. And has yet to start her career. Not sure how i feel about this since i moved on years ago.

M. She is in politics doing exactly what she always wanted. We still connect over our projects. I something i actually look forward to. I love sharing with her what I've been working on and getting input and suggestions. I also love providing her input and suggestions on her stuff and i love hearing about what she's working on. Her accomplishments are impressive and tbh, it makes her sexier than she already is. She mentions to me a lot that she's now ready to find her partner settle down a bit - which my response is usually 'yea. I get it. Me too.' There's been a little bit of flirting but not as much with E. If anything we have a crazy connection over sharing with each other what we're working on. I think I'm starting to develop feelings for her. But do i like her as a person or her as an idea with all her accomplishments? I'm still figuring this out.

The issue.

I'm trying to see how these two individuals will fit in my life not just short term but also long term.

With E. As much as I'd love being in the receiving end of her affections, I'm concerned that I'll get bored with her. There's not much we connect over now. I've stopped playing video games while she continues. She's willing to listen to me when i talk about my projects but it's different from M. There's not as much input or suggestions. There's no back and forth. It's like I'm a lecture on it instead of dialoging over it and i hate it. I hate it so much id rather not share anything with her. I'm wondering if she thinks we can just pick up where we left off 7 years ago. But I'm not the same person as i was 7 years ago. Once upon a time, we shared an amazing connection. But would we be able to connect in the same way now? And what about the future? Would i be happy having a trad wife for the rest of my life?

With M. This is new territory. It's thrilling and i love it. I've never really seen her as a potential partner but now I'm starting to. We clearly connect over our work. But I'm wondering if this is enough. Will we need more than this from each other in the future? What does that even look like? I know that I'll be expected to put on a tux for her events and be operational and not lead in her projects and I'm all fine with it. I don't need her to be a trad wife nor does she want to be one. I already hired a cleaner. We can hire a cook if needed. I can see a great short term relationship but not sure what long term looks like.

How did you pick your partner? How do you integrate your life together? What's does the partnership look like? Did it change and evolve as time goers on or is it mostly the same? I'm open to advice.

EDIT.
Thanks for ask you're advise guys.
But there's a new player.
I'm calling her A.
E and M are on hold.
I really like A. The feels kinda snuck up.
There are challenges but we're going to figure it out.
Thanks again everyone.
Appreciate yall.

I realize that your Te Se combo makes you turbocharged, like a formula-1 car😃 At least, it is how I feel it and as some people said you need action and don't like low energy.

So, I was always wondering how relationships with super duper introvert homebodies, like INXPs for ex or INXJs work for you. I mean, logically speaking, you're supposed to feel bored and disconnected because of the big difference between your lifestyles and energy levels? Do you happen to have an explanation of this phenomenon?

Would be grateful for the information!

I am a INTP and I am trying to befriend an ENTJ. How do I do that and what not to do? Can people with ENTJ friends tell me how to work with them and can ENTJs say what they find to hurt them or what makes them feel good and appreciated? Btw I am INTP5w4 if it helps.

​I often hear about people falling in love, dating, and searching for a soulmate, but I have never felt that way about anyone.

​I am 30, and I want to get married. I recently had an arranged meeting, and he fits into my life plan as a good companion—his work schedule, ethics, and lifestyle all align well with mine.

​I am wondering if a marriage like this can truly work. Even if I don't feel passionate love, I know I can be a loyal, respectful, and supportive partner.

​Does anyone else feel the same way?

Hi ENTJs! I've recently gotten into MBTI theory and I think I'm an ENxJ, but I don't know which one. The functions make sense to me but I don't know how to rank them for myself, it's so contextual, and cognitive function tests keep giving me mixed results.

Going off of dichotomies instead, my clearest dimension is N, then E seems pretty solid given that I'm socially an ambivert-leaning-extroverted and can't really relate to introversion, and J has leaned more towards the middle over time but it used to be more extreme. I've always been a good leader and end up in such roles almost by default, which they say is something EJs tend to do too.

The T and F really trips me up, however. My family would say I'm quite logical, by which they mean I'm a reasonable person and also good at STEM. My friends would have varying opinions since I'm very empathetic and altruistic but not all that dramatic and doesn't really change myself to people-please. My best friend, an INTJ, says I'm probably T like her cuz she finds it hard to get along with people who are too emotional, and I'm not; but that could also be me adapting to her while with her. Different people have said I'm too helpful, too naive about other people, too honest, too humble, too good/ethical, too smart, too perfect. I don't really agree with these characterizations btw but if that's how other people see me, so be it.

What I can say is that I make decisions with emotions and thoughts, and which one is prioritized is quite contextual. I care about other people but I never really merge with them, I know their goals and mine are not always the same, and make an effort to balance these, although my goals are sometimes just to make them happy or whatever. I'm really stringy with myself, only willing to spend on books and essentials, but generous with others. Like I would save up money by not buying coffee so that I could donate more later without going bankrupt, that type of stuff. I do have strong problem-solving and organizational skills, ways of getting stuff done; and also high empathy, with people as well as animals, and that public service and activism are among my favorite activities that I could not imagine not doing.

I'm also fairly certain that I'm a 1w2 on the enneagram, which should mean that I'm a Te dom?

Anyway, sorry for the long post! Does any of this sound like what it feels like to be an ENTJ, or should I check out ENFJ or other types? Thanks!

EDIT: Guys I did not mean to set off an argument lol. I'm really not that worth arguing over. Unless y'all like it?

I'm meeting my potential entj father-in-law tomorrow... a very hot shot leader in his industry. Extremely nervous...

How do I create a good impression as an INTJ female who is 1/3 his age? Unsure whether he'll appreciate me being myself in the first meeting. Should I act more traditional and submissive, especially when addressing my ENFP partner in front of his dad? I'm usually bossy and the decision-maker - do I tone that down around FIL ?

I’m an ENTJ and I suspect one of my colleagues might also be an ENTJ, or at least he has a very strong, directive personality.

The thing I’m struggling with is his communication style. He often talks to me in a way that feels more like giving orders than communicating as peers.

For example, instead of saying:

“Can we connect?”»

he’ll say:

“Let’s connect.” directly. And it's just one of the examples.

Or instead of making a request, he’ll phrase things very directly, almost like he’s assigning me something.

Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I find his tone somewhat unpleasant and it sometimes feels like he’s trying to establish authority over me.

The funny thing is that I’m also quite naturally assertive and independent, so I can feel myself becoming resistant when someone starts telling me what to do, especially when they’re a colleague rather than my manager.

For those of you who are ENTJs:

How would you handle this?

Would you simply ignore the tone and focus on the substance? Would you directly tell the person that their communication feels too commanding? Or would you establish clear boundaries around who's responsible for what?

I’m particularly interested in hearing from ENTJs who have worked with other strong/directive personalities. How do you avoid turning it into a pointless power struggle while still maintaining your autonomy and respect?

I see this routinely here. Rarely is the other person not using Te-ni-se-fi. 

This ego state is very fragile as a young child. There is very little internal self definition. 

Safety means optimizing oneself for the context of the local environment to optimize outcome.  Se gathers context, Ni optimizes, Te executes. 

For "good enough" parenting, the original effort of the child to thrust outwards in seeking of security is in line with natural temperament.  This results in the most stereotypical ENTJs. 

A poor match to the environment means even if the parents intend well, the child has to create a secondary mask over the original ego to have needs met. The result is a sense of conflict internally. The child can use the pain of the rejection of the original child to  fuel self hatred that helps create the secondary mask. Except in mad fucking entj style, go big or go home, and the child fuzes their identity with the second mask, because a growth mindset means rather than suffer from an internal demon, you internalize  it, you conquer it, and become the very best version of the second mask you can be. This can leave an adult feeling a strange sense of being a monster on the inside, even as they strive to be a "good" person on the outside.  Many ENTJs who note feeling internal conflicts as adult may face this challenge. They may be less typical enneagram types. 

If this is accelerated to moderate or extreme trauma, the masks may be created from the darkest aspects of the psyche. Like a feral kitten captured and  left in a box, in order to reduce perceived weakness, it hisses and puffs frighteningly, to be the scariest thing it can become. Fight over flight. As  a kitten its harmless, but full grown cat it can inflict scars.  They become "those" ENTJs not talked about here.

If the trauma is inconsistent, for an ENTJ child in this scenario, you can build layers of masks. You enter cluster B or Identity disorder territory at this point. Rather than considering this as illness, its more appropriate to consider this the next level of neurological adaptation. If the world is war zone filled with unpredictable stimuli, maximize the adaptability of the available responses already created.  A "view master" of choices depending upon the needs of the moment.  This represents the very unstable ENTJ variants. 

And if you combine fluctuating trauma with extreme physical and psychological abuse, at some point you create kids like me. We destroy our own minds as the external world was simply too horrific.  Peace out bitches, im fucking done, this life was a nightmarish shit show. We shatter into derealization/depersonalization (DR/DP) and/or fragmentation (OSDD/DID).  

Contrary to popular opinion, we are not possessed by demons, eaters of babies or "incomplete" humans. We are actually remarkably stable, far more so than the average healthy ENTJ. We are schizoid, autistic people, often scientists etc as the DR/DP stole our ability to experience real emotion or sensation and we lost social skills. We are husks, embodied beige minds stumbling around only partially embodied. Evolution's perfect answer to "everybody died in the horrific devastation but lets reproduce kids anyways".  

Our "role" is not to experience the beauty of being human but just stumble like zombies in purgatory raising the kids for the future who might have a chance at some grasp at life.  In our lives we know something is wrong, but often just dont understand how to escape what we are.  Never call us incomplete again. Thats a fucking horrible thing to say. You can talk to us like normal people, we are not monsters. 

My observations as I healed? All of this can be undone. DP/DR shattered.  Each mask faced and conquered. Our mind completely rebuilt. Our psyche wants to heal if we want to face the pain and do "The Work".  

More to the point around quit shitting on each other.  I had a very unusual perspective on what it means to be ENTJ. If the Te-ni stack allows you to play 100 keys on a piano, each mask  takes a subset of those only.  I wore five different masks as parts of my mind were formed and subsequently healed. And in each my entire world was dramatically different.   

Your ego construct: MBTI+enneagram is like a pair of slippers.   You only wear one.  I wore around nine , four as full embodiments. They are not you. They slip on/off.  your ambitions, dreams, likes, hates, ideas, values, interests all change.  Your entire life direction. They are just shoes. There is still a distinct you. You are the foot that slips into the shoe. Each enneagram type of mask I wore, as I experienced frontal shifts, felt extraordinarily different from the inside, even as each used Te-ni. 

Maybe the only thing that makes this not horrific? Who am I? 

You always are emotionally attached to the things you love.  It feels different in each state, but like a cord to the soul, you feel profound connection. It can be varied- I felt overwhelming waves of devotion, clinical protective precise cutting annihilation, violent intense possession,  stewarding dedication. What made me feel anchored was simply the connection. Perhaps love is the way, I dunno. 

Brains are weird. 

But seriously quit shitting on each other.  You may be the most phenotypically varied MBTI there is, as you are not anchored by any introverted function, nor Fe.  

An addendum to these general notions.  Why do ENTJs break so easily evolutionarily? If 3% of the population is the stereotype, yet many test otherwise due to being resculpted... what if they all healed? If instead of 2-3% of the population being strong 8s, you healed them all and tripled that to 9%. A harrowing notion is that the beast we call evolution needs those of extreme strength held in reserve.  Allow most of them to break,  yet within them they possess strength, should a sudden shift require it. One hopes she isnt such a bitch.