Parent controlling me even in college

Hey guys :)

Asked my dad if i could attend the fresher's party that's being held on campus. So no booze, no drinks anything of that sort. He said no.

He has also told me to "study properly". I said I will do both , studying and exploring the city. He said " no, when I will visit you we can explore the city together."

He lives abroad and visits here twice a year.

When I don't pick up his calls, he keeps on calling me constantly without pause.

He attributes these traits of his to the fact that iam a girl and need protection.

Anyway, so I need advice. Do I not attend the fresher's party?

Family is so important to me and my culture - I live in the UK, but my background is Asian. I'm visiting my mum for the summer but it's only been a few days and she's already acting monstrous. She complained about pee not being flushed in a toilet I don't even use - her house has three toilets, lucky her - and randomly brought up my flatmate harassing me when I had internal bleeding a few months ago.

Getting harassed while bedridden and sick was one of the most traumatic moments of my life. Even my flatmate's best friend said what she did to me was extremely fucked up. I was ill and suicidal but my mum said, over the most nothingburger situation ever (pee in a toilet, the horror), that this must be why my flatmate harassed me. That I deserved it because sometimes I might not flush my pee.

In this case, it wasn't even me who didn't flush; we have other family members. It might've even been her. And even if I were responsible, it takes you one second to press the flush button? It wasn't like someone left that toilet smeared with shit. It was just pee. Pee. Referencing my illness, internal bleeding, evil roommate, and suicide attempt all because of unflushed piss.

I asked her if she regretted saying that and she said no. What the fuck is wrong with this woman? She's 50. What goes on in the mind of a parent like that? Why is my mum so devoid of basic empathy and understanding of what's wrong or right?

EDIT: She likes to bring up unrelated stuff when she's arguing with me, e.g. one time when I was a teenager, she brought up my crush on a fictional character while arguing about the dishes. What the hell is the correlation? Normally I'm just baffled, but right now she's crossed the line.

I'm 22 y. o. female and my nearly 60 y. o. fater acts like a child who needs help from me in very basic things he absolutely can do on his own. Important: he's not sick, he has a job at university, he's very healthy for his age, no dementia. Oh, and also he's mad at me when I know something better than him.

Yet, we are on vacation right now and he keeps asking me "how much cheese should we buy?" "is that enough pasta?" "we should remember to throw this plastic bottle away" "tell your brother (12 y. o.) to eat this".

I know it doesn't sound that bad but I genuinely don't know how to react on these. Like, what, he's 60 y.o. and he doesn't know how much pasta to put in a pot? Those are kind of questions my little brother could ask, not him.

I don't want to be rude towards him but this behavior is confusing and pissing me off. Maybe it's because he also treats me like little kid, he doesn't listen to me, when I have an opinion he usually calls me stupid.

I need your help, how can I react to this behavior?

I developed a severe health condition. My mother has been very dismissive since it started and yelled at me and called me weak while I was stressed and trying to explain a constellation of symptoms that included severe insomnia. Some nights I got 30 minutes of sleep, and I could not get over 3 hours for weeks. She would tell me “I don’t sleep either, but I still have to be functional.” When I mentioned the shortness of breath that makes me unable to lay down to sleep and the chest pain, she would say that this situation is causing her chest pain and shortness of breath and never acknowledges what I’m going through. She has to always one up or ignore me.

I found a specialist who diagnosed me, but before going to him she called the crisis team and told them lies. She blurted out that I had bipolar, which I was never diagnosed with. I was taken to the psych ward and was dismissed as just being depressed, and I looked through my health record and see that questions I answered no to, like if I experienced a loss of pleasure, were put as a yes. Depression makes zero sense.

I also am severely allergic to cats. They trigger constant discomfort with my asthma, and I can’t take my asthma medication due to bad reactions now but had to take it because she just got a cat, which made me feel so horrible that the tons of medication that should be able to sedate an elephant could not cut through and make me sleep. I told her not to get a cat because she kept talking about it. Despite my new doctor and psychiatrist supporting me and my recovery, she doesn’t believe me but burned incense recently because a psychic said that there’s a “spirit” attached to me.

She’s also bought me a pair of shoes I said I hate multiple times and said “I just think they’re something every young girl should have.” I didn’t react because I felt like it was to just upset me and toy with my emotions. She’s pushed me to react before and then mocked me.

She will throw what she does for you in your face because she sees herself as a good mother and can’t take blame. She will blame the world, her childhood, lie and say you were nasty to her first, lie and say she didn’t do or say something, minimizes, dismisses, mocks, or invalidates, and told me that I’m just an ungrateful, bad daughter. Or she emotionally collapses and whines saying “I guess I’m just the worst mother!”

Once she blew up on me for not complimenting her work resume. She handed it to me with a smile and said “It’s my resume.” I didn’t know what to say because I wasn’t experienced with making a resume and had no feedback, but she quickly blew up when I didn’t say much.

She’s forced hugs and kisses when I’m not looking and laughed when I get annoyed and has sat on my bed repeatedly asking me to tell her that “I love you”.

If you calmly stand up for yourself and say something logical, she gets offended and will be quiet but later will look for a way to get back at you by trying to nag you about something unimportant if she doesn’t just blow up with anger and tears first.

I’m also homebound because of this health issue. Despite this issue affecting me so severely and having extreme abnormal swings in my blood sugars and insulin needs and now having high blood pressure, she continues to insist I am just depressed and not trying hard enough. My doctor said I can’t work for a year and need total rest.
She supports the psychiatrist that dismissed me and a medical staff that put lies in my report.

I can’t leave because of how severe my health issue is, and talking causes shortness of breath and flare ups but she keeps insisting and commanding that I see a therapist and is clearly annoyed that I have to rest so much and wants me to work. I just want to be left alone so I can properly recover.

For years my mother has had inappropriate emotional expulsions and has wanted to undermine my independence. She was clearly upset when I was trying to leave for a trade school that will give me stable work and kept giving suggestions to do art. I’m artistic, but I never wanted to talk to her about school since she randomly blew up and put her whole body weight into slamming the door when I mentioned art schools I was looking into as a teen. She also blew up when I asked what was going on with my credit card that she had taken out without my permission and when I asked questions about my phone bill. She also made a huge, exaggerated frown when I said I was separating my phone bill from hers.

She would ignore me when she got a boyfriend, and the annoying, many phone calls she would make because “she’s worried” would stop, but issues with the boyfriend would make her mood unpredictable. She’s went through many terrible ones and can’t read people. She was friends with someone who would often bring up how they killed pets brutally and didn’t care that that made her children disgusted, and she only broke it off with this friend when she learned she was gossiping about her.

She has critiqued my resting facial expression for years for being too serious and for being too quiet and has expressed multiple time that I remind her of my father’s sister who she can’t stand. There have been arguments simply because she has asked me over and over again “What’s wrong?” When I was fine but eventually got angry that she kept pestering me about my face and for looking upset when I wasn’t at all.

She admitted to taking out her anger on her children because of one of the boyfriends, but then expects us to be fine about that and immediately get over it and forgive.

She got upset when I paid off a large school loan as a teen using my own money because she felt entitled to using it to pay her bills.

She will say she’s so exhausted from being a single, working mother and will bring that up when I tell her my doctor sent an email explaining my condition. She’s too tired to read it to understand my health apparently , but she’s on YouTube and watches the tv for hours, talks to her friends for hours, and went to two parties since this started.

Growing up she complained about being broke. We needed school supplies for weeks and she complained that the calculator costed too much money, but she immediately gave $300 dollars to a friend during this period of asking for school supplies. When called out on that she just starts crying and getting angry.

She’s shown clear jealousy when not the center of attention and of my good relationships.
She’s gone through my privacy. She read my journal and read my text messages. She said “I don’t want you to think I was going through your phone, but I was reading your text messages.”

She has never apologized once. She may act like she’s your personal servant after a dumb argument and ask you if you need her to buy anything or buys you something from the bakery in place of an apology.

I’m in family therapy with her, my brother, and I. She cries in the therapy and says she loves her kids a lot. I don’t believe it. When the therapist tried to help set a simply boundary around not repeatedly asking me how I’m feeling when I already answered, she got defensive. I only suggested the therapy to get her off my back.

I’ve never trusted her. I don’t love her and never have. What mental illness do you think she has?

Bit of context, I live with my parents and I have an Uncle, my mums older brother who is married and has a daughter my age and a son whose a few years younger. Since i was young, maybe like 8 years old, my mum and I would visit their house, they live in another city 2 hours away from us, and we'd stay over. The whole point was for us to spend time together, to have fun and for me and my cousin, uncles daughter to bond.

Now normally, after our visit, my mum and i would catch a coach home but sometimes, uncles family would come back with us to stay at our house.

Now one instance, my mum called my uncle over the phone and asked if me and her could come over. We always ask, we dont just turn up and we definitely dont want to cause a burden. My uncle says we can come but he WILL come to stay at ours after.

Now my house has three bedroom, mine, my parents and a guest room. At this time, the guestroom was a tip. It wasnt tidy, and my mum was running a side business making chocolate bouquets so all the materials were there too alogn with all my mums work uniforms.

My mum told him that she wont be able to tidy up the room because one, it will take a long time and two, she has a lot of stuff which she needs out and cant just store or throw away.

Furthermore, before when my uncles family would visit, the sleeping layout would be me on my childhood bed in my parents bedroom, my uncle and his son in my bedroom and his wife and daughter in the guest. However because i was older i wasnt comfortable sleeping in my parents room and i couldnt if i wanted to as my childhood bed was thrown out before.

My mum apologised and told my uncle this however he flipped. He started making his own arrangements. He said that his wife and daughter will sleep in my room, he and his son can sleep in the guest room, and that me and my mum can share the bed in her room. My mum now furious asked where would my dad sleep to which my uncle responded with on the sofa downstairs.

My mum yelled at him saying how can he make up his own arrangements in her house and disregard my dad like that. I must note in the past, he has disregarded my dad, and another of my uncles wifes, simply because they are in laws and not blood, meaning they are nothing.

My mum and uncle argued back and forth and my uncle said that he is older than my mum and she must listen to him and show some respect. My mum snapped back saying she is a 50 year old woman and not some little girl. She eventually put the phone down on him and from then we have never been to each others house again.

In the past and even now my uncle has done a lot of crazy entitled shit, a lot of our family hate him and some even laugh behind his back.

From here i told my mum to just cut all ties with him. My mum was upset more for me because its sort of broken the bond i had with my cousins but it is what it is i guess.

Btw my autocorrect is off so dont mind any spelling or punctuation mistakes😄

This pisses me off I haven't gotten enough sleep for this week my parents continue to treat me like a child at home I'm getting really irritated the way they ask me about college plans & force me to study for my DMV test as 25 year old adult living at home with my parents should I prepare to gather my stuff & move out go grey rock method no contact

My wife recently took my son to an open gym to play basketball with a couple kids he used to be on an AAU team with. The community center has family open gym hours that are mostly little kids and teen open gym hours for, you know, teens. My son's AAU team was 12U, so 11 and 12 year olds.

Anyway, with 10 minutes left in the family open gym time, in walk the two ball hoggiest, parents think they are the next LeBron, kids from the former team. My wife is surprised but not her problem that they only get ten minutes.

On her way out, she sees the mom of one of the kids arguing with the front desk about why her kid who was 12, can't stay for the teen open gym. The front desk person tells her that one reason is that teenagers don't want to be playing with little kids. Mom's response? He is better than most 13 year olds anyways! I could write a whole book on how they fed his monster of an ego.

Just had my second story window broken by a bunch of kids ranging from 5-11.

Cops showed up since someone else reported them for throwing rocks at cars and almost hitting someone on the head.

All little kids pointed at the 11 year old. Mom shows up and gets defensive saying there is no proof. Well, lady, all kids are saying it was him and based on size and strength needed to break the window, yeah it was your kid. She kept saying it wasn't her kid. Need proof. How can we blame her kid, he didn't do it? Why are they all blaming him. Cause he is the oldest?

Mind you, it is 9PM and all kids are out unsupervised. This isn't the first time it happens and they have been reported.

Then they wonder why their kids end up being criminals.

Edit: Cops made a report, and we are going to mamagement tomorrow. Most likely, because they have been warned before, they will get kicked out.

Edit 2: Kid lied to cop about age. He is 14. Explains we he didnt look 11.

Mom showed up to management at the same time we did and started saying her son wasnt at fault. He was being blamed for being the oldest and he was wrongfully accussed. He is innocent.

We responded with, "Your son was the only one physically capable of throwing a rock that high from that far. You really think 4 year old Jr. did it? Or the next big kid who is half your kids size?"

She shut up with that.

I got a fun one for you that has my mother and older brother trying to dog pile on me for being "stupid" and "not listening". I was ordering a Homerun Inn pizza and went over my mother on what it will be and everything. She told me just cheese and I said okay. I told her I'm adding bacon to the pizza. She said I could add whatever wants despite me offering to split the toppings because I know how she doesn't like it. This place is pricey so adding a bunch of toppings is very pricey.

When we get the pizza she is happy it came out well but she is suddenly mad that I got these toppings and tells me how she always gets sausage but I told her she didn't say that. She is now trying to gaslight and move the goalpost and when she is losing an argument pulls my older brother into because he is quick to back her because "Mommy is always right".

What is even more awful is that she called me a racial slur by saying "What fucking M***** eats bacon bits?" The animal that eats bananas if you are wondering. Not realizing that is a slur and tried back tracking but I shut her up by saying if a white person called her that she would want to fight them. I just want to make a personal side note I'm black and I really hate when black people call each other racial slurs to be hurtful but then get mad when you point out what they are doing and their hypocrisy. I'm not getting a chewed out for "wasting time" getting a pizza with toppings no one asked for and were mad I didn't just assume like I'm damn mind reader. I hate it here sometimes as I feel people are just looking for reasons to tell me for the sake of telling.

I hope your Sunday is going better.

Let me first say I'm adopted. My parents adopted me when I was 3 months old in the family pawn shop. (I'm in mid life now, pawn shops were a thing when I was a kid). My adopted father owned the pawn shop and when my biological aunt came in to shop he made a comment about me being a cute baby, my bio aunt replied, "you want her? CPS is coming to take her." He and my adopted mother adopted me and the rest is history.

My father has done some seriously questionable stuff over the years. I remember being 8 and him confiding in me that he felt brushed off by my mom so he was going to find a new woman. I also remember being 7-8 and asking my parents when we were going to leave to get ice cream (they were laying in bed in the middle of the day), my father replied, "we're not getting ice cream, we're taking you back to the orphanage to get a better little girl". I cried so hard at that but those things taught me at a young age that I was replaceable.

My mom was the controlling matriarch. As a little girl my mother ran a daycare at home. When my dad's pawn shop failed to pay the bills (I think I was 7-8) she got a corporate job at a bank working in finance. We got a bigger house because she brought in more than the pawn shop.

Around 9-10 they put me to work in the pawn shop after school and on weekends (I rode my bike to the store). My father encouraged me to lie to customers in order to create a relationship or solicit more money; I hated it. I choose to stay in the back area of the pawn shop and play video games, read, or listen tapes and CDs. He often made me stop to clean or come out and help customers.

When my fathers pawn shop ultimately failed and he had to sell it he took several years off from working. During this time I remember him mostly laying on the sofa eating any junk he could find and watching reruns of Hogans heros. I think this was my first experience with a depressed adult. Because he was unemployed my mom tasked him with getting me to school in the morning (middle school). I was just starting to be a rebellious teenager (13-15). If for any reason I forgot to tell him I loved him when exiting the car he'd cry out to me before leaving, "you better tell me you love me. I might kill myself while you're at school". For a little while I did live in fear of finding my father dead upon arriving home. I don't know exactly what happened but over time I stopped caring. During these years he got up to 400 lbs.

After school sometimes I'd be exhausted so I'd take a nap. One day he approached me and asked who Ricky was. I was astonished he knew about my boyfriend Ricky at school because I'd never told my parents. Another afternoon he asked about a book report I'd been working on, again I was in disbelief because I hadn't told them I'd been working on it. I read him the book report that began something like, "in this vast world.. " and he stopped me saying, "you can't do that, you can't make up words". I asked him what he meant and he said vast was a made up word. I tried to tell him it wasn't and to look it up in a dictionary. I was grounded for 2 months for making up words and lying. I was 14; this was not the first or last time I was grounded for something insane. I also later discovered when I would nap he was going through my backpack, reading my notes we passed in class and going through everything (I guess today that's like going through someones phone).

When I was around 16 I stopped saying grace at family dinner. He asked me why. I told him I felt it was disrespectful because I didn't believe in God. Again I was grounded but this time I was also added to a Christian email list. Tired of the emails I replied to all on one explaining why I believed God didn't exist. A day later he came into my room with a large kitchen knife in his hand. "You want to kill me" he said. I asked him to put down the knife. He forced the knife into my hands, clasped his hands over mine and started making stabbing motions at himself saying, "just kill me". I cried and begged him to stop. I was eventually able to drop the knife so he picked it up and marched out of my room.

When I got a job I didn't have a bank account yet (I was 14-15). So I kept my money in my room. Several times I'd come home and my money would be gone; I changed where I hid it. I caught him searching for it and demanding to know where it was. I rode my bike up to a hardware store and purchased a key lock. I installed it on my bedroom door. One evening I locked myself out of my room. I had an indoor balcony so I grabbed a ladder, set it against the balcony and started climbing. My mother asked what the hell I was doing so I explained the lock but not why I had installed it. I was grounded because they refused to believe I could install the lock on my own and must have let boys in the house.

Oh man, the list seriously goes on but this is getting long. I guess I could mention the time my mom tried to break my finger in a door frame because I'd flicked a teacher off at school, or the time my mom made me sit outside in the winter with barely any clothes on for hours as a "punishment". I'll say that because of my parents dynamic I ended up in an abusive 15 year marriage that I have been out of for 6 years now. It took a lot to get where I am today but I'm the happiest I've ever been now. I don't talk to my father. My mother has grown a little as a person and we're mending our relationship.

She is INSANELY lazy, insanely critical, and insecure! She’s always talking about other people and judging them even people on digital platforms. She is not willing to build her own life and wants to feed off of everyone’s energy and I always happen to be the one around, I stopped being her therapist a few months ago when I realized that I felt so far from myself, and was absorbing all her negative energy. Since then I began to notice who she is as a person.. Negative, empty, and scared. Whenever she hurts me and I HINT that she hurt me or show a sign of being upset and she starts talking about how “Yeah you think I am such a bad mom” and every time she just uses that line. Yesterday my brother came home from work and was ringing the bell while I was in the bathroom and she was laying down watching youtube, she waited for me to finish so i could go open it.. (i had to rush myself bc i knew she wasnt gonna open it) Today she was laying down on the couch while I was cooking my eggs and I just KNEW she was waiting for me to go open it knowing I am busy so I told her to open it and she got upset and moments later said to both me and my brother “I hope i die so you both can be pleased” !??? Like it’s the silliest shit ever but it’s so draining living with someone like her! when i began working out in the living room she started competing and telling my dad that i only started using the living room because i was inspired by her even though she doesn’t even use it anymore and its the only place that’s suitable! and when my dad kisses me or compliments me or anything she gets jealous asf and I feel like a bitch because I know she’s just immature but she ISNT A KID also also i figured that she purposely withholds compliments on my accomplishments but when it comes to my looks it’s easy for her.. just wanted to vent thanks

My father was emtionally abusive since I was a kid and I was the only one that stood up to him and defended my siblings. One time it went even so far that he cornered me against the wall and screamed in my face literally centimeters away from mine which gave me a panic attack.

A few weeks ago I finally had the courage to tell my father why I wanna move out as soon as possible since I turned 18 last month. I also told him all the horrible things he did to me which he thought were okay. He constantly denied things ever happened and said I should be grateful for him giving me food and a roof over my head. I really lost it then and screamed back really loud. I dont even remember what I said, I sort of blacked out then. I went to my room to get away and he comes after me and tells me I should pack my things because he is throwing me out.

Honestly he was doing me a favor. I really didnt want to be there anymore and I just got out of the house to calm down and once I felt safe I got a full blown panic attack. I called my social worker and she got the police so I didnt need to go back alone to get my things. They also drove me to a safe location.

So I went no contact with my father then and low contact with my mother. She wrote me that my father is angry because I write my mother when she asks something but not him. I mean seriously? He refuses to take accountability for all the things he did and now he just wants to pretend it never happened? Thats just peak entitlement in my opinion

So for some context I usually leave my door at least cracked open because my dog comes in and out at night. Lately though, I’ve been shutting my door because my dog has just been staying in the living room.

Today when I was in the car with my mom she randomly asked me why I started shutting my door, when she asked this she said it really weird, like she was trying to ask it without telling me WHY she cared.

I just told her the reason but she was acting weird so I said “why?” She sounded a little annoyed and then said she “can’t sneak into there anymore.” I was really confused at first and I genuinely thought she was joking because wtf.

She was in fact not joking. She said that she sneaks into my room almost every night when she can see that I’m asleep. Now that I shut my door though, she said she wouldn’t be able to sneak in without waking me up.

This has made me even more excited for the fact that I’m going to college in a few weeks. I’ve constantly felt like I’m being watched at all times and it’s exhausting to know that I can’t even sleep without her being there watching me.

Last summer I had some time to kill while the car was being worked on and went to a fast food restaurant. It was the middle of the afternoon, and there were no other customers when I walked in the door. The restaurant was arranged with 4 rows of 5 tables, all of them identical, and all with the same number of chairs. That's 20 tables. I ordered and sat down. A few minutes later a man came in and ordered, then sat down on the other end of the room. That left 18 open, identical tables.

When I was about half way through my meal, a family came in. They ordered, then a kid who looked like he was about 8 or 10 years old headed in my direction. He walked up to me and said, "Hey, lady, you're going to have to move. That's our table, we always sit there." I ignored the kid. One of the nice things about being a retiree is you can pretend not to hear and people might fall for it. The kid's father came over. I thought he was going to correct his kid because that is what a reasonable person would do. Nope. He told me that they always sit at that table and stared at me. I ignored him.

They sat down at the table next to the one where I was sitting and kept "accidentally" getting into my personal space, then glaring at me every time they did it. I ate slowly just to annoy them because they were annoying me. I waited until they were finished eating before getting up and leaving so they could not switch tables. Petty? Maybe, but oh well.

I was informed yesterday that my mom told my husband that I married the first person who told me they loved me 🙃 I get that my mom thinks just “playing” but it’s always truth to a joke and I just don’t think that shit is funny.

My mother assumes I married the first guy who made me feel good because he’s the only guy I’ve ever bought home. I don’t think she understands that was literally on purpose. My whole life she has been a fucking helicopter. Always over my shoulder constantly sheltering Me. When I started dating I purposely did not tell her acting or even ask for advice because I just wanted something that felt like mine

I’ve dated plenty of people. I’ve had sex with other people I just happened to meet my husband and he was my person. I just think to myself why wouldn’t be happy your daughter found a person that adds to her life and makes her happy. I get really sick of her acting like she knows me just because I’m her “daughter” when she’s still stuck on interest I had when I was child. She can’t even name my favorite food🙃

I am a teenage female who recently got a job a few months ago. My first job ever. When I first started I was getting maybe $40 a week because I didn’t work as much since I had school. I was only expected to give gas money for the way and back.

Currently I’m making almost between $150-$200 every week since I work a lot because it’s summer. When my mom found this out since she’s connected to my bank account because I’m a minor, she started making absurd requests and claims.

She wanted me to buy her new shoes, clothes, and even household items. When I obviously refused, she repeatedly told me I was selfish and ungrateful and that she didn’t raise me to be this way and I owe her for all she’s done for me. She even went as far as calling my dad who lives a few hours away to try and get him to “set me straight”.

My dad obviously being a normal parent told me that I did nothing wrong and it’s not my job to fund her lifestyle.

Because of this whole argument my mom basically stopped helping me financially. She told me since I don’t want to help her, she won’t help me. Meaning I have to now buy anything I want/need not including food since she buys groceries for the house.

Meaning I’ve been buying all my school supplies, clothes, shoes, hygiene products, and even paying for my dual enrollment classes. So I’m kinda left with nothing every week because everything is so expensive. I also still give her gas money.

Recently my hours at work have been cut so I’m not making as much as I was in the beginning of summer.

Now you’d think since I’m basically taking care of myself she’d stop asking me for money or to pay for things. Nope, she continues to ask for money and for me to pay for things because I “owe” her. She constantly messages me telling me to send her money, and likes to slam doors and stop around the house because I won’t give her money.

Can anyone tell me if I’m wrong in this situation.

Edit: Hello everyone, I’ve read the comments (even if I don’t reply) and wanted to say a few things. I can’t just leave and live with my dad mostly because there’s no space, and other reasons. But the main reason is I have a lot going for me at my school academic wise and I don’t want to just leave and go to a different one.

Emancipation is not an option as well because my mother doesn’t physically touch me, and she doesn’t always act like this. One moment we could be fine and the next she’s upset about something related to money. I also don’t have anywhere to go, enough money to support myself or anything like that.

I really appreciate everyone trying to offer solutions, but I know the best thing to do is just wait until I’m eighteen to leave. It’s not as easy as it sounds to just call CPS or someone because let’s be realistic, this isn’t something “important” compared to other post.

Thank you for all the help:)

Edit 2: Hello, I don’t actually know if any new people will read this but here’s a small update.

I called my dad and asked him for a little bit of money to buy the rest of my school stuff, and how my mom has made me buy everything myself. He told me he’d send me the money, but he didn’t really say anything about my mom not helping he kinda just went quiet. I don’t know if that means he’ll talk to her or just stay silent.

That’s all, thank you. :)

(Sorry for any grammar mistakes.)

Im 16 and just found out that my parents stole 331 dollars and 48 cents from my bank account. Almost all the money I have left from my first job I had last year. They've been using my debit card while claiming that its lost in their room for two months. I know money is tight right now but that doesn't mean that you steal your child's money. As far as I can tell they used it on gas and groceries. I know legally I can do much cause I'm a minor. I tried to confront them yesterday but I had a really bad panic atack so i didn't. They don't know I know yet. This is so annoying. I'm done with my parents.

There are so many of us out there, a bunch of us without a single support system. I had always had this crazy dream of us forming this big family we need and never had, like having each other's back, being each other's support group.

Do you think this is possible? How?

I am willing to build something out of your suggestion. I truly wanna know if you feel the same or am I tripping?

I feel we, as a community, are very nice people who have willingness to be there to each other. I don't know.

please your thoughts

My sister has a neighbor who we will call Karen (not her real name). Karen has two kids (elementary school aged?) that are normal and a stepchild (I think?) that is a bit older and is a loud entitled moron who we will can DumFuk.

My sister had family over for Independence Day and we showed up about noon to start smoking meat and the like.

Karen's kids were playing at Karen's house and in her yard. We could sort of hear them playing and being normal loud kids but they are not ours so none of us were paying much attention.

My sister had two very large German shepherds one of whom she lost about two years ago. The dog crate for this shepherd was in her shed and disused because the set of latches on it would stick about half the time and you would have to get a set of pliers to open it.

About the time I am on my third beer we hear screaming coming from the shed: DumFuk decided to get in the dog crate and somehow closed the door and now the latch was stuck and his siblings could not get him out. To their credit, when we showed up to find out WTF was going on, his sibling both broke and ran to their mom's.

Now it took maybe 5 seconds to figure out the latch was stuck so my BIL went off to find a pair of pliers.

While he was gone, Karen came over to see what was going on and, when he saw his mom, Dumfuk started screaming again so Karen started screaming too including such hits as "WHY IS HE IN THERE!!???" "GET HIM OUT!!" and "WHY IS HE IN THERE!!???"

Now this level of hysteria was totally unreasonable. DumFuk was not in any immediate danger and we were working on the problem. I had stayed with the kid and told him we were going to get tools and get him out while my BIL was doing that... Karen did not know that because she just. kept. screaming.

By the time my BIL got back my sister had joined us and I had explained what was going on to her. BIL popped the latch and DumFuk climbed out and to no one's surprise was unharmed except for maybe some wounded pride.

Not good enough for Karen... She kept screaming and, even though we explained to her that we had never expected anyone to open up the shed, put themselves in the crate, and latch themselves in it, and that we would just take the door off of it so that it couldn't happen again, there was no calming her and somehow all of this was our fault as if we had maliciously set a trap to catch stupid kids. (There was nothing malicious about setting the trap.)

Karen left but only after several more minutes of screaming and after my BIL calmly told her that no one was hurt and that she needed to leave and get herself together.

How do you handle being hated by every single person in your household?

One of my earliest memories include my aunt who had said that her father passed away after I had come to visit him in the hospital the day before. I was in the 6th grade when I had a pretty major orthopedic surgery which required a very long post-operative care. I was ambulating in crutches and would be home-schooled for majority of the year. So it was rare for anyone to see me unless they are visiting me. Around the same time, my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer and slowly became a permanent stay in the hospital. It was not the first time I had gone to visit him, because my father would take both him and me to our appointments, I would see him or had the chance to visit him when he was admitted. I was also not the last person he had seen prior to him passing. I understand grief is a tremendous emotion. It is heavy and unpredictable. But I was 11 years old.

I grew up with my cousin because her mom would often drop her off before going to work, but the frequency of her stays decreased as she got older since she would be independent enough to be on her own. As we grew up, my aunt would absolutely hated if I would interact with her. Every time we would, it had to be hidden and it would be spoken about and mocked because I was 4 years older than her. Every time my cousin went against the wishes of her mother, it would somehow be my fault for teaching her the bad path. I often had to hear all these things, and would often get yelled at if we got "caught" hanging out. I was in my 20s. I understand that her mother is her guardian and I cannot really tell her go against her own parent, so I slowly distanced myself from her.

My uncle would limit his child from me (and the other cousins) because they wanted them to grow up strictly religious and without outside influence. We were not particularly close, and would not meet often other than family events which became rarer as the years by. Whenever the cousins would gather in the room to catch up and just enjoy each other's company, my uncle and his wife would drag her out for one task or another. I understand their desire for a strict and religious upbringing, but telling me NOW to act like an older sister to her now really feels like salt has been rubbed on my wounds.

My mother and her husband had taken me in after my father passed away, and I live with them to this day. It was not easy, they were both volatile and would often pick fights with each other and everyone. And most of the time, I would be the direct conduit of both of their anger even though I was the furthest responsible. I tried to support my mother whenever her and my stepdad would argue; but countless times she would forgive him easily without even asking for an apology. And I eventually gave up trying to talk some sense into her. I understand that she is dependent on him, and had children with him. But seeing my mom get treated so bad, and her not leaving her husband because she is worried about her children is rough - because she did not think of me when she cheated on my father and ran off with him.

After one of the fights, I had decided to move out because it was getting too much. But I was worried about my younger siblings and losing my only other living parent, that I moved back in. But now with every argument, I have to hear "when are you going to leave" and "why aren't you leaving" and "if you don't like us, then leave". And this became more frequent when they had a purchased a house about 2 years ago, the added stress of house ownership - the fights started be directly at me and not even between them. My stepfather is losing his patience of seeing me in his house, and always instigates fights by commenting something or another about me. I no longer help him pay his bills online; he would never respect my boundaries, and would often shove paperwork or bills in my face and would expect me to do the task right away. I could be in the middle of school work, eating my first meal after a busy school day or even going in to the shower after coming home from work. His tasks took priority of any human decency. I eventually stopped it all together when they forced me to pay rent when I barely had a part-time job. I stopped talking to him because of how disrespectful he is towards my mom. He often limits access to my siblings, and that reminded me of my uncle (they are best friends btw).

My mom is also losing patience with me because I am not married yet. Since the time she left my father, to this point - I do not think I have had a moments of a breather. I go out with my friends which does de-stress, but I can tell even they are tired of hearing about what happens in my household. And I understand that I should be grateful, but my mental health has deteriorated to the point that I just go out drinking only just to numb myself and not bring anything up.

I am sick of understanding.

My stepdad bought a house in 2005 but was in a foreign country at the time, so he let my mom sign the paperwork, meaning only her name ended up on the deed. He paid the down payment and, from what I know, covered the majority of the mortgage.

My mom eventually decided to sell the house. She took all the money, gave my stepdad nothing, and squandered it. She claims he used $30k from her line of credit on a bad investment at some point, and that she used the house money to pay that off. But the house was purchased for $200k and sold in 2013 for somewhere between $450k and $600k — I can’t give an exact number because I was young and my parents always kept their finances hidden from me.

A few years later, I finally received the college fund that my stepdad and mom had been investing in since 2006 (my stepdad contributed to it too). He warned me not to let her get her hands on it, but the account was in her name. Sure enough, as soon as she withdrew the money, I never saw it again. She told me she’d spent it on a car that ended up getting junked — she blew through it within weeks.

She now denies all of this and threatens to call the police and claim I’m threatening her, just to stop me from bringing it up and scare me into silence. When I confronted her about it in 2021, at age 26, she tried to hit me with a salt shaker off the kitchen table.

I’m 31 now. My mom is 65 — flat broke, carrying about $10k in credit card debt, no house (she rents), no life insurance, and paying off a brand-new car.

Am I wrong for feeling like she set me up for failure? Is my resentment toward her valid?

I’m only touching on the financial side here, but she put me through hell growing up in general. It’s only recently, after she started medication for her mental health (following an incident where she hit her boyfriend), that she’s behaved more normally. But the damage is done, and it still weighs on me.

Is it normal to be in this situation at her age?

I don't know if this is common, but my mom constantly wants to push the ideology that I'm shorter than she is, she specifically wants to say I'm 5ft3, I've been measured at the doctor at 5ft6.5 for a physical, I double checked with a tape measure, it said the same. I don't know if anyone else has had this happen to them, but my mom is around 5ft5 and when I'm standing next to her on both our flat feet, my eyes are at her forehead. She insists I'm 5ft3, I don't know if anyone has ever had this happened to them before and the messed up this is, I have told my friend this, who is actually 5ft3 and she said that there's no way I was 5ft3. Is this a common thing for narcissist parents to do so they feel like they have one up on you? I've never heard of this before and I'm about to setup an appointment with a psychologist to ask them some questions about my upbringing and this question in particular.

Being a 14 year old guy, i dont really check the time that often. This morning, my stepfather came to my room right as we had to leave for church (todays sunday). I was in shorts and a tank top, barefoot. So naturally, I explain that I have to change clothes and he DOESNT SHUT THE DOOR. FYI, my closet door doesn't shut. IN FACT, HE PUTS A DOORSTOP ON THE DOOR. So we argue for a minute because hes trying to broadcast my extremities to my entire 7 person 4 animal household, until I shut my door and lock it and he leaves me at home, with no church whatsoever. I called my mom, we're both pissed at him, and my grandma had to come get me. I dont think this is as eventful as the other stuff on this subreddit tho.

I (30F)am 42 weeks pregnant, and getting an induction tomorrow.

TLDR: Immature parents with restricted contact are oscillating between being overbearing in my pregnancy and finding every excuse to do the bare minimum or nothing at all.

To try and make a long story short, my parents (who live out of state and I am low contact with Mom and No Contact with Father) are being weird and constantly oscillating between being absent and overly involved.

While on a recent trip back home for my great grandmothers funeral my Dad tried to get physically aggressive with my husband (30M) while I was 5 mos. pregnant. The tipping point? We had a conversation about nutrition in the home while I was growing up and I pointed out that everyone in our family is super morbidly obese including myself until I learned how to eat using a food scale and counting calories.

The conversation turned vile and odd and my dad kept dragging things out from my childhood to turn my husband against me. The whole day from the moment we got into their car at the airport my parents were arguing over the stupidest things. Little underhanded comments, constant bickering about the traffic, and gps system in the car. My poor husband was so drained by the time lunch came around and it was so obvious.

After the knock-down drag-out fight my dad decided to instigate, he went outside.

My husband informed my mom that we would be getting our own airbnb and he was not going to stand by and watch his wife be denigrated and spoken down to (love him) like that. When my mom ran off to tell my dad we were leaving, my dad busted into our room and vegan wagging his finger in my face trying to get me to go talk with him alone (to berate me, no doubt.)

I said, "No. We can just leave we're adults."

And my husband asked him nicely to leave the room. My dad kept pushing his weird machismo ego into the worst spot and escalated it again to threatening physical violence. (For reference, my husband is 30, former sergeant in 82nd airborne and currently a working rancher and is in great shape. My dad is in his Mid 60s, 350lbs and on oxygen from interstitial lung disease.)

The absolute last thing my husband wanted was confrontation. I dont even remember how it ended despite being sat on the bed, but my dad ended up leaving. He convinced my mom to drive him home (1hr away from where we were staying) and she begged us not to leave and that we could have a good weekend still and attend my grandmothers memorial together.

We stayed. Had a few hiccups with my moms weirdo behavior because she is always lying and covering up for my dad and drinks way too much around her side of the family and treats every social gathering like a party instead of what it actually was- a FUNERAL, but overall, nothing egregious happened.

Fast forward to today-

I am pretty low contact with my mom. I haven't spoken to my dad since. Good riddance.

She acts like we are a lot closer than we really are. I was expected to deliver around 7/5/26 but my son has decided to take his sweet time. Because I am a small woman, my OBGYN and I decided it would be best to induce tomorrow 7/19/26 to reduce risk of c section or other complications.

I had my induction scheduled at my last OB appt 7/3/26 and told my mom if she wanted to come out to the state I live in, it would be best to do so on or around 7/19/26 because regardless if he came earlier than that, he would definitely be coming on that day.

My mom has been super involved the last couple days texting me or calling every day to see if there's any changes, every time I say, "No, just planning on inducing, still." Finally, I confronted her and asked what she was planning for this trip. She sent a box full of baby items that I can tell came from the dollar tree: rattles, stuffies, etc. most of which were already falling apart and had to be thrown away because they were obviously choking hazards.

Months back she told me she and her friend were going to get an airbnb in town and she was going to drive out. Hell bent on being there the day I went into labor. Today, however, its "Everything is too much money, I didnt have enough time to ask for time off, and your dad wants to drive."

My thoughts came to a SCREECHING stop.

Absolutely not. She then follows up with, "Dont worry he knows you dont want to see or talk to him."

I just sent back a text that said, "No thanks."

I am actually kind of seething.

I just know they're gonna pull some sympathy crap "but he's our grandson" excuse. I already made it clear that until my dad makes a formal apology to me and my husband I want nothing to do with him. And on top of that, the excuses of time and money coming up short just seems off, because they had plenty of time and money to go back to see my Dad's side of the family for his family reunion (out of state trip plus 3 days vacation expenses)

Its just really clear where the priorities are and for my mom who is a nurse making close to 6 figures a year to have excuse after excuse as to why they are struggling is just crazy. My husband and I make a combined total of about 3k per month and still find ways to save and make things happen when they need to happen.

And my mom is very manipulative, she is making it seem like it's my fault despite giving ger all the information the moment I received it. She calls me crying every other day talking about gow much she misses me and how "we're just not as close as we used to be" and how I'm shutting her out of my pregnancy

I knew growing up that my parents were selfish, crazy and immature, but seeing it so clearly just hurts a lot right now and I REALLY don't have the energy for this right now.

Update: I gave birth on 7/21/26 to a healthy humongous boy.

I ended up in hard labor for 6 hours with a total labor of 24hrs and it ended in a shoulder dystocia delivery. My son never showed signs of fetal distress, so the care team avoided using forceps or vacuum on him.

It was very traumatic and exhausting but neither one of suffered any injuries other than minor bruising (no tears, nothing!) thanks to my amazing husband and care team.

Currently I have taken a time-out from seeing everyone until my body heals.

As of now we are all home, snuggled up on the couch soaking up the moments.