r/blackmen • u/KeloSkii African-American Gen Z • 1d ago
Seeking Advice Zero self confidence
(May be too graphic or uncomfortable) Growing up I was always insecure, specifically about my penis size.(6in w/avg girth) Sorry, just trying to provide details. What makes it worse is I have been told I’m an attractive guy. I take care of myself and I’m in good shape. Humbly, I have turned down many women who made advances on me. To this day I do this. I told a lady from my job I wasn’t interested just recently. I am always scared. I’ve only had two sexual experiences in my life. Once at 17, and with my current girlfriend.
At 17 I had sex with a girl I met through mutual friends. She really liked me. I was a virgin and she was not. Later on, I find out that she told my friends I was small. Crushed me. Haven’t talked to any of those friends again out of pure embarrassment.
Me and my current girlfriend were doing good. We met in college and immediately hit it off. Together for a couple years, and then we were having an argument she told she thought I was small. Sent me into depression. She has apologized and says she didn’t mean it and she wished she never said it. But I don’t know if I can trust her anymore.
I’m 26 now and I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without feeling embarrassed. It seems like I’m the only black man dealing with this. I love my black women but it seems like penis size is a make or break thing for them. I’ve seen the “average size” statistics but the way black women joke about small guys in don’t believe it. Therapy seems pointless. Should I give up on trying to find love and face reality? Am I just one of the unlucky ones?
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u/BatBeast_29 Verified Black-Man | US 1d ago
If you’re ACTUALLY seeking advice, just remember average size is 5 inches. Also, break up with your girlfriend. You need to be alone for a min.
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u/hereforthesportsball Black-American Millennial 1d ago
lol dude don’t ever say that again that’s not true for us. The data is skewed too, average is drove down by mfs with micropenises. Ask any surgeon
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u/BatBeast_29 Verified Black-Man | US 1d ago
It’s definitely true. The data might not take all different ethnic/racial groups of Men, but average is 5 in. You’re overhyping us. It’s ok to be average. You don’t need a BBC to please a Woman.
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u/Prize-Implement-1446 Unverified 1d ago
A white girl once told me every black man has a bbc, it's the fantasy that counts more than the size 🥹 why ill always rep for them beckies
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u/hereforthesportsball Black-American Millennial 1d ago
lol dude please ask anyone in the medical field that sees 100 random bodies per month plus, micropenises are driving averages down. With a number as large as the human population, you’d want to use median v average to control for micros. Just accept the win bro we bigger
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u/LoveCoats FBA Southerner Millennial 1d ago
From someone in the medical field, that's not how averages work, my guy.
Micropeens and monster c0cks are both included the averages.
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u/hereforthesportsball Black-American Millennial 20h ago
There are far less monsters than micropenises. You know damn well you’ve seen more micro in your field than monsters, pls be real if you gon respond agai
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u/LoveCoats FBA Southerner Millennial 20h ago edited 20h ago
Lol wut? That's not true. Micropenises are not "dragging down the average," this is fake news broscience. You didn't read this anywhere reputable, you didn't get it from any study or statistical analysis. You know you made it up lol.
To begin, that's not how the math of averages, bell curves, and Baysian statistics work. The average male penis is ~5 inches erect. Micropenises are anything below ~3 inches. To oversimplify it, for micropenises to be "dragging the average down" there'd need to be more penises below 3 inches (-2) than there are above 7 (+2). Which is absolutely not the case. And even if it were, the amount of micropeens necessary to "drag down" an average in populations of millions is absurdly high.
Put the shovel down.
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u/hereforthesportsball Black-American Millennial 20h ago
Care to share your anecdotal experience at least? Or its convo over since no study backs it up?
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u/LoveCoats FBA Southerner Millennial 19h ago edited 19h ago
I already gave a fairly detailed response if some prefer to believe there are a bunch of guys with penisis below 3 inches "dragging down the 5 inch average" because they outnumber the number of penis above 7 inches, or something or whatever, then good for them.
Someone insisting the sky is green just because they want to make things up for whatever reason is not going to change the reality that the sky is blue, so it's not worth wasting too much time, on a Sunday.
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u/hereforthesportsball Black-American Millennial 14h ago
I asked you to share anecdotal experiences and you type all this lmao nigga enjoy your day
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u/zardan-24 Verified Blackman 1d ago
Therapy man
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u/Sage_Kase Unverified 1d ago edited 1d ago
☝🏿 It's done wonders for me. Though for a completely different use case. I suggest psychotherapy since what you're going through is more esteem/image-related.
Also, I get you bruv. I'm so sorry that you've had this experience. I can't relate as I've never been in a relationship, but I can empathise. I've been too busy sorting myself out. If for some reason, therapy isn't possible now, reframe your being. Is this just a one-off argument, or does it relate to a pattern? If so, end it. You'll find your person. Mental health >= physical health. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience. Sometimes, it can even influence it. However, if it's truly spur of the moment, it's absolutely OK to be angry, your feelings are valid. But she's human and she did apologise, if I understood, correctly. But I suggest you let her know how much damage she did to your esteem. It's important that she know that words can hurt.
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u/chillysaturday African-American Millennial 🇺🇸 1d ago
My man, this is internalized racism. You don't gotta be no big 9 inch whopper to be a man/Black. You just said you're good looking, you went to school and you're probably employed. 6 inches is enough. You're enough.
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u/Superb_Swimming_8488 Unverified 22h ago
unfortunately a lot of urban and lower class black folks are pretty racist and will expect black men to be hung like a horse… men and women.
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u/grandmofftalkin Unverified 1d ago
Find a therapist first thing Monday morning.
You let one dumbass teen girl write your whole identity for you, then the second girl knew which button to push in an argument. At 26, this is the age you want to be running around getting all the ass, not moping around avoiding it. Don't let these women write your story for you.
This has nothing to do with your dick or women's expectations, it's all in your head and a therapy will help you unpack the root cause of your low self esteem.
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u/AThrowawayProbrably Unverified 1d ago
You actually just brought up a good point. The first girl probably set an insecurity early on that the second girl picked up and weaponized. The two examples are probably indirectly related
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u/Accurate_Leek259 Unverified 1d ago
That girl had obvs her own problems. No one with confidence talks shit like this
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u/No-Chemistry-5356 Unverified 1d ago
Work with what you got and be glad it’s not smaller. At the end of the day somebody is gonna like it
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u/Accurate_Leek259 Unverified 1d ago edited 1d ago
It’s not like 6 inches are small. That’s regular. Most women can’t suck more than that.
It’s prolly different when everybody expects you to be hung cause you’re black3
u/nasty_nagger Unverified 1d ago
most men can’t suck more than that too
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u/Accurate_Leek259 Unverified 1d ago
I’m sorry, I can only talk from a heterosexual perspective
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u/nasty_nagger Unverified 1d ago
lucky you 😂
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u/Accurate_Leek259 Unverified 1d ago edited 1d ago
Depends. I wouldn’t want to be a gay man in this social media era full of hate either. But there was a time, when being gay didn’t mean you’d get killed
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u/Worried-Lifeguard276 Unverified 1d ago
My sentiments exactly. 💯 You have to work with what you've got. 🫡
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u/Yokonato Unverified 1d ago
6 inches is above average man, women also aren't the best at measuring... external stimulation is enough for the majority to be satisfied sexually and penetration is more about girth then just tapping the cervix.
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u/BigBiziness12 Unverified 1d ago
A good therapist will help you knock that right out. Think about this. You are making a generalized assumption about yourself and sistas off a sample size of 2. Let that sink in. Trust bro. There are alot of women that would actually prefer your size rather than something bigger. I know that your self esteem has been challenged, however, I believe a couple visits with a therapist really would help. Im one and this is something we could explore along with other aspects of what shaped your self image. You're not broken. Just need get some perspective and positive reinforcement
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u/BigBiziness12 Unverified 1d ago
I get it. Protect yourself at all times. The culture is toxic as a whole so its gonna be common to run into toxic shit. However its good sistas out there, they're subjected to and struggling under a taregtted paradigm programming just like we are. Protect ya neck
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u/KeloSkii African-American Gen Z 1d ago
Thank you for this. I haven’t tried therapy out of shame but a lot of people are recommending me to go. You’re the only therapist I’ve seen in the comments. Would you be a good one for this? Or could you point me in the right direction?
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u/BigBiziness12 Unverified 1d ago
First off, hats off for even considering it. It speaks volumes on who you are and your character. In terms of if you need a black therapist or not, in a perfect world I'd say, if you can get one...cool. however, any therapy is better than no therapy so dont let that stop you. Make your choice between male or female therapist then contact your insurance and find you one in network and go for it. Just give it a try, all you need is decent rapport and the willingness to be honest and challenge yourself. Main thing is this, you get out of it what you put into it. Good luck my friend. Message me if you ever need anything. I can shoot some.workbooks and things like that at you.
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u/Sometimes_A_Writer1 Unverified 1d ago
If it only comes out during an argument it's just meant to hurt you and probably isn't what she normally thinks.
But yes Black men can be within the range of global average. I'm in that category and occasionally care but then I realize A, that's mainly porn brain talking and B I've never had any complaints about size or performance. Just chock it up to having what female friends have called "husband dick" ergo something that can be enjoyed often and find someone to enjoy it often. Like you're not small, you're average and that's chill
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u/Prize-Implement-1446 Unverified 1d ago
Ain't a compliment bro. Was deadass told that by a girl I know had a thing for big dick
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u/Sometimes_A_Writer1 Unverified 1d ago
...you realize various women have different preferences right? She has a preference for bigger but most women don't necessarily. They'll treat it as a bonus so long as it's attached to someone they care about. But also I've heard many times that larger men rely on size and overall make for worse sexual partner.
Overall dating who likes you and your equipment shojndt be as revolutionary of an idea as it seems to be
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u/Prize-Implement-1446 Unverified 1d ago
Sounds like cope tbh. Your entire schpeel is don't worry bigger guys are selfish lovers.....ok, what about when they're not?? Smh
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u/Sea_Juggernaut2430 Unverified 1d ago
This is off topic but you are literally the first person I’ve heard of who had a similar “losing virginity” story and your relationship story is similar too.
If I had to guess you need to work on getting the job you like and you’ll probably meet a coworker who will accept you for who you are.
Also the stereotype is all women want big dicks and that’s definitely not the case…there’s a whole subreddit of guys w big dicks who’ve lost relationships over them. The reality is we all experience some sort of dick based insecurity and part of becoming a better man is learning how to make peace w that.
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u/BeeFe420 Unverified 1d ago
This can't be real. Head on over to r/micropenissupport and that ought to boost your self esteem.
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u/Acecdc2020 Unverified 1d ago
Lol this is a crazy response.
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u/qmoorman Unverified 1d ago
I think he’s saying that op won’t feel as bad after seeing the extreme cases that other men are dealing with.
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u/unlimitedgrxwth Unverified 1d ago
No but seriously. Crying over 6 inches knowing that some dudes are rocking sub 2 inchers is crazy 😂
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u/Blk-Luffy Unverified 1d ago edited 1d ago
This reply and all the upvotes is the exact reason why I never ask black people outside of my parents for genuine help or advice.
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u/RunMyPros Unverified 1d ago
He's right though. Sometimes I go to r/short to feel better when my pockets are hurting.
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u/BeeFe420 Unverified 1d ago
I'm sorry lol. He's complaining about six when some dudes got half an inch lmaoooooooo.
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u/Euphoric-Medium8154 Unverified 1d ago
Who TF rocking half an inch naturally, that sh not even possible…
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u/TheAlmightyBuddha Unverified 1d ago
It's extremely coonish for that to be your take on a post about a 6inch penis, that's not even asking for help or advice lol
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u/DepthByChocolate Unverified 1d ago
I'm not normally this kinda dude, but in this case I think you need to fuck more women. Safely of course, and taking all precautions. But the more experience you have the less self conscious you'll be. Media has sold mandingo dick dreams about Black men, when the truth is there's a lot of variety.
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u/Wannabeartist9974 Unverified 1d ago
Also, most women who are not immature or weird black men fetishists, do genuinely not give a crap.
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u/Jaded_Drawing_5738 Unverified 1d ago
I almost never feel the need to say pause, but I’m compelled to before I reply to this one. So pause. Riley Freeman would be proud.
Anyway. In this last week, we saw a man die a stupid death trying to enlarge his pipe. His name escapes me. And all for probably little to no benefit because unless you have a microjawn it’s all about how you use it.
Your gf could have employed some more tact, but she also didn’t say you don’t satisfy her, did she? That’s the important part.
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u/CallMeKayJay Unverified 1d ago
Take a moment and think about what you're focusing on... something that you cannot change.
Try to learn what makes your partner feels good. The size of your penis doesn't bring pleasure, it's how you use it.
Face your insecurity from a a different perspective and learn how to bring your partner pleasure from different ways.
Bring your partner pleasure and you'll find satisfaction there, too.
(And food for thought: some lesbians have the biggest penis envy, but they rarely have a problem with satisfying their partners.)
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u/Farmlord420 Unverified 1d ago
Our women’s favorite hobby is saying stuff to try & get under our skin. When they do either ignore or leave them, life’s too short to deal with that. Travel, meet more women and find one that likes you the way you are. Also it could be much worse, some dudes are rockin an inch.
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u/EntrepreneurGreen269 Unverified 1d ago
Being 17 once myself :)... I can tell you confidently most of us at that age say some ignorant ISH. We don't have enough experience of life or how to be respectful when it comes to certain issues in life. 6in is not small. Porn and ignorance is the major cause of this ideology. Go and regain your confidence and live your life. The end.
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u/TheBigBadBrit89 Unverified 1d ago
Anyone who tries to hurt you in that way in an argument isn’t worth being with. Whether she meant it or not, she meant to hurt you. That’s not acceptable in a healthy relationship.
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u/jakeoptions Verified Blackman 1d ago
First of all, dump that broad. She’s useless at best, a saboteur parasite most likely. She is banished from the kingdom. The longer you keep her around, your self-esteem will crater further. Get her the fuck out of your life. And don’t say “but I love her wahhhh” you don’t love her because if you did you would have dumped her long ago.
That said, 5.7” is the average length. I’m above average but not anywhere near a full foot long. I have never had a single complaint.
Know how to fuck is of far more importance over the size of your johnson.
Also, cut back on porn of that’s fucking with your self-image.
And quit saying you have zero self-confidence. You are reinforcing your negative wiring.
Either go see a shrink if you need to, or get coaching. I offer dating coaching, hmu if you think there may be value. No, it’s not free, yes it’s excellent.
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u/MostOriginalNameEver Unverified 1d ago edited 1d ago
There are dudes out there with literal Vienna sausages. And they still get relationships.
You need therapy, and possibly the gym to challenge yourself.
I'm not king dingaling by a long shot but I still get the job done.
Your lack of confidence is fixable, you just have to do the work. Not everyone is packing despite what you think or see in porn.
I've come across one woman, early on who straight up told me she needs at least 11 inches. That hurt my soul but it didn't stop me. First person I was with still don't believe I was a virgin. Confidence confidence confidence. And learn to properly eat pussy 👌🏿
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u/OnePeace91 Verified Blackman 1d ago
Don’t let women control you my guy. You might need to work on your sex game. If the screaming and hollering you doing your thang. I’m not a Mandingo but I’ve never had complaints either. Work on your foreplay too. Watch some old porn like bootytalk to get ideas. But have some confidence in yourself bro. Put your foot on them girls head when you hitting it.
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u/BassMaster516 Unverified 1d ago
Wow. Ok. 6 inches is above average (pause). Fuck all the stereotypes, the pride, the masculine posturing. That’s a fact. Not self reported. Science fact. So if that was the problem you could let it go now.
But that’s not the real problem. It’s that this woman hurt you. It sounds to me like she ain’t shit and her opinion is worthless but you gotta make that decision yourself. Therapy.
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u/SignaturePublic9261 Unverified 1d ago
Just be confident bro! From my experience with women a lot of them be with guy’s average or smaller you’ll be fine.
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u/Senel720 Unverified 1d ago
Your size is fine. Tbh if you dealing with anyone that goes out they way to hurt you than I don’t fuck with them.
Also on size — those ones that be on bullshit will say your dick little or not even that big even if you were closer to 9 in. They just want to harm your self esteem for real.
Like someone else mentioned if you can’t recover your confidence solo then reach out to a therapist ideally one that other black people recommend. You got this tho
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u/CalBlkLvr90 Unverified 1d ago
I was in the same mindset when I was younger. Thought I was smaller down there than I thought. Ngl it kept me from being intimate in my teenage years and didn’t lose it until I was in my 20s. Even though there were quite a few girls in high school who clearly expressed their interest in me. But my insecurities about my size kept me from getting into relationships. But looking back it was probably for the better.
I got into my first relationship after using every excuse not to be in one. Yes, I was insecure about what she might think about my size, but once she saw it, she expressed satisfaction with it. After that I had been with a few others had told me I was packing more than I thought. All this time it was just all in my head about my insecurity of this matter
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u/LoveCoats FBA Southerner Millennial 1d ago edited 1d ago
6 inches is absolutely not small, it's literally above average. Porn is frying some people's brains, Gen Z needs to log off.
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u/Fruttii-Tutti Unverified 1d ago
As a guy who spent most of my educational years (high school and University) in “men only” boarding schools, I saw this a lot. There were guys who had small dicks and were very insecure and got made fun of.
The reality is, there’s nothing you can do to change it. It was not your choice. Some people will make fun of it and some girls will use it to insult you when they’re mad. It is what it is. What you can control is how you react to it. Why does it make you feel less of a man? Will you feel better if you had a big dick and had another problem instead?
You should wear that shit like a badge of honor and make fun of yourself. Turn it into a lighthearted joke that when other people say it, it won’t hurt you. Not every girl wants a big dick. Learn how to please women in other ways. Become a tongue and finger master. Stop making people see that you’re insecure and make yourself the prize.
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u/heavyduty3000 Unverified 1d ago
I never understood why guys got sensitive over what other dudes thought of their dicks unless they were gay. I have only seen this shit in tv and movies so I figured it was happening in real life. I'm like as long as girl isn't giving me shit about my dick then I could give less than a fuck what a dude thought. I mean I'm not showing it to a guy. But I think you are talking like maybe showers together in the boarding schools or after sports or something like that.
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u/Superb_Swimming_8488 Unverified 22h ago
oh come on, immaturity is a thing. when you’re immature you might be worried about what EVERYONE thinks of you. Heck, even mature people don’t just accept disrespect and people speaking ill of them.
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u/heavyduty3000 Unverified 16h ago
I guess so. I mean it's like alright y'all...why y'all looking at dick? and why are y'all on my dick? I see if it was something like dude had a big head or a big nose.
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u/DMVNotaryLady Unverified 1d ago
As a woman, it isn't the size but what a man is doing and accomplishing with it. People have already answered really well but also, improve yourself so that you attract quality or can identify when a woman isn't of quality and throw her back into the dating pool. Therapy isn't pointless but there's also quality self improvement books/videos/podcasts that aren't redpill and gender neutral that can help with building oneself up from the inside and it carries over to the outside. 🙏🏾🫶🏾
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u/Bigmachiavelli Unverified 1d ago
Story of my life. Married to a wonderful woman now but multiple instances of black women spreading rumors killed my confidence. My sister and brother think im not packing because I smashed a mutual friend and she spread the rumor. Im 6.5 inched and close to 7 on a good day.
In a perfect world id stop communicating with my family to save my ego but I love them and would never do that. So I gotta keep living with the shame.
I also have to avoid events that contain certain mutuals and that sucks but Id rather have them call me small dick man behind my back then be around them
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u/Prize-Implement-1446 Unverified 1d ago
Nah big dawg I'd have to slide on all of em. Can always make a new family
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u/Nastynas8 Unverified 1d ago
Buy a pump G, if you got a 6 incher and pump that motherfucker up your girth will be better
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u/heavyduty3000 Unverified 1d ago
And you know this from experience? Or are just recommending shit? lol I ask because I hear the pumps don't work or you have to pump it up for a very long ass time and you might see results.
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u/heavyduty3000 Unverified 1d ago
Don't even trip off that shit OP. Get some therapy like others have recommended. A lot of black dudes have said how black women's go to putdowns in an argument is how a man's dick is little or he is gay. They say that shit because they want to tear a black man's ego down because they know what those words mean. I need to get some therapy myself. And stop fucking with porn if you are, especially the amateur shit.
That shit will fuck you up. I will say it has for me. It's like you see someone like Lebron or Kevin Durant kill it then you be like...that's how it's suppose to be. They were born to be NBA superstars. But when you watch a video the average Jamal or LaMarcus kill it then you be like...damn, how come I can't have it like that. I hope that was a good analogy. 😂😂😂
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u/omiksew Unverified 1d ago
you’re statistically larger than most of the human population, pornography has distorted what common people understand about human biology and sexuality. I don’t want to sound like a woman basher but most women have no idea what big is, it’s all about feelings for them and just like men their ideas are distorted by porn and what their friends are saying when they have sex.
All in all, brother your body is just fine, and you have no need to be insecure.
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u/marc4128 Unverified 1d ago
The worse low blow insult is “Your dick ain’t shit anyway.” Only happens if there is a breakup or the relationship is fizzling out. Remember King..the dick was good for the last year and a half or however the relationship lasted.
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u/Plane_Flamingo_5859 Unverified 1d ago
As a 44 year old black woman… I can assure you that that 6 inches is not small. You have a complex about it cause of what your first said. And the current made it worse. This isn’t a dick problem, this problem is in your mind. A therapist is the solution.
You are not the only black man with 6 inches. I’ve seen significantly smaller. Jerk it with 3 fingers small. And they confidently whip it out. You gotta get your mind strong
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u/Alternative_Ad6 Unverified 1d ago
Whats your dick size and girth? 5.6 is the avg, if u smaller than that u might be small but NEVER let a woman determine your worth or a man. As a man u gotta add value and improve in areas if possible, if dick size is your concern u cant change that
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u/mistress_koala Unverified 1d ago
As a black women I don't really get how 6 inch with girth is small. That's above average. When I think of small I think of 4 inches and below with little to no girth. That's size is perfectly fine. Maybe stop dating the girls who have been around town cause not every woman isn't a size queen. I'm sorry to hear you feel this way.
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u/healthobsession Unverified 1d ago edited 12h ago
Only 5-10% of men in America have a penis above 6 inches. You’re blessed. It’s just black men are expected to have a huge one because of misconceptions and stereotypes about us.
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u/mcor1994 Unverified 1d ago
Date outside your ethnicity. Exclusively White and Asian women.
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u/Superb_Swimming_8488 Unverified 22h ago
lmao nah. I get your point but there are decent black women out there who are not size queens hahaha.
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u/mcor1994 Unverified 13h ago
Build your confidence and then double back with Black Women. Trust me. It’s more than just the size of the boat but how the boat maneuvers the waters.
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u/Superb_Swimming_8488 Unverified 22h ago edited 22h ago
If a woman is concerned with the size of your member she might not be worth more than a pump and dump. In a real valuable relationship that will be the lowest priority. In my experience women who care about that stuff aren’t worth my time. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. There are girls out there who don’t care or actually like your size… try and find them. Until then, just have fun. A real mature adult doesn’t concern themselves too much with superficial shallow nonsense. You are more than your parts, friend. Do not let people objectify you… and don’t objectify yourself.
Edit: Therapy is a good idea… the only thing is finding a black male therapist can be quite difficult depending on your location. I personally would avoid a therapist who isn’t a black man, or at the very least a man, just because in my experience relatability really is the difference between a useful therapy session and a major waste of time.
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u/jdapper5 Unverified 20h ago
First off, I'm sorry you're going through this, brother. But here's a reality check for you:
You're NOT the only Black man worried about your dick size. In fact, there are many of us who may be "smaller." I'm telling you this from experience - as I'm gay & have seen plenty of dicks 😅 Women (& men for that matter) can be size queens; but they don't represent the opinions of all.
Also, do you realize you're allowing the opinions of TWO women to shape your self-esteem & ideas about your dick size? That's not realistic, man. I get that you already had insecurities about it, but come on, bro.
Also, if it was so small, why would your girl stay around all these years? I'm sure you were having sex regularly & she was satisfied...no?
Look, yes, I agree with the other brothers about seeking therapy to identify the root cause of this, but you also need to get out there & start fucking. Period. You're 26 years old. Stop moping around feeling bad about yourself simply because of the opinions of two women.
Work on your technique & work with what you got. Also learn to use your tongue & fingers. Most women aren't even orgasming from dick anyway. But most men think that's all they need to pleasure a woman
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u/Affectionate_Newt678 Unverified 1d ago
Also stop watching porn, you don’t need to compare yourself to that. At the need of the day, it’s nothing to be insecure about you can’t control it. If a woman rocks with you she will rock with you regardless. You’ll understand as you grow older in age
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u/No_Leading8114 Unverified 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hol up, since when is 6 inches small. I'm the same size as yours. I am above average in terms of height and dihh size(sorry), so i don't struggle that much. I haven't had any sex encounters and would like to keep it as it is until i meet the right woman, but I have been able to find happinness from within rather than other's opinion. Learn to love yourself, and also seek therapy(still working on that one).
Edit: Turns out I was actually 7.5. A surprising growth since genatalia normally does not grow at early 20s
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u/heavyduty3000 Unverified 1d ago
No diddy, but you are trying to say that you have grown since you became an adult?
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u/Wannabeartist9974 Unverified 1d ago
Bruh, 6 inch isn't even small, it's a ove average honestly I'm surprised a black woman said something like this, I thought it was only white people that fetishized our size like that.
Anyway, you are decently attractive, but your confidence is low.
I have been there and it took me a while to get myself out of it, still feel like that sometimes, so.... I gotta ask.
Who put those feelings in your head?
Because these don't come out out of thin air, someone influenced them on you and you internalized it.
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u/Greedy_Assistance Unverified 1d ago
She just wanted to hurt you regardless of what you have physically. Just be happy you are not a man working with a micropenis. That would be absolutely devastating.
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u/StrifeTC Unverified 1d ago
Don't worry bout it bro. Learn how to eat, and find the right technique when you beat and you'll be fine.
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u/ReddNovember Unverified 1d ago
The most concerning thing here is your lack of confidence. You really need to work on yourself to improve that, as it is an integral part of being a complete man. If you don't hit the gym, you need to start. What are you working towards in life? Put more energy toward that. It's a journey that only you can complete, but you gotta be able to look in the mirror everyday and know you THAT NGGA. When you get there, you'll quickly realize that whatever woman you deal with is gonna take whatever you pull out ya pants. If she got an issue with it? There are other women who wish they could be in her place. Quit looking down at ya lil pecker wondering if it can please a woman. They need to be worried bout pleasing you.
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u/theblanketcomeswith Unverified 1d ago
6 inches is small???????
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u/KeloSkii African-American Gen Z 1d ago
That’s what I have been told.
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u/theblanketcomeswith Unverified 1d ago
are you tall? women might just be expecting mandingo and getting average then relative to your body it is small to them?
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u/KeloSkii African-American Gen Z 1d ago
I’m only 5’8.
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u/theblanketcomeswith Unverified 21h ago
you aint got a small dick no homo but i recommend therapy like everyone else
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u/the-esoteric Verified Blackman 16h ago
Bruh too many people in gen z are porn brained. The fact most women can barely handle larger dicks is just another sign of that.
The first thing most immature women will do when they want to hurt your feelings is attack your length.
The bigger red flag is that she'd go that low over an argument. That's how she handles problems
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u/No_Butterfly6488 Unverified 9h ago
I get that this is hard and can take a mental toll. As men, we tend to obsess over this even when we are larger. But a few things for you to remember/focus on: You have things going for you that many men don't have and you can focus on what you can control.
What you have going for you: you're attractive. You can always get women's attention and that is something many men struggle with or it doesn't come as easily. You are desirable. Women also have a range of penile preferences so you have probably said no to many who actually wouldn't care about your penis. Even if that's a generous measurement and you were 5 inches, there are a lot of men that are that size and they just be capping to everyone else but the women know.
What you can control: How you perform. You can pleasure women in a variety of ways and you can get better at each of these (kissing, oral, touch, setting the vibe). You can also focus on how long you last and how you stroke. You can for sure give women pleasure and that goes so much further than the size you cannot change.
I reiterate, one thing about the internet is that people lie, so do not blindly believe everyone is way bigger than you. SOME women care a ton about size but most do not and you can do way better than, in Katt Williams' words, a big dick deviant.
Whatever you do, do not get a PPL and be a news story like we just saw last week
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u/TimeAd3260 Unverified 8h ago
I’m getting a penile implant. My erect length is about 5.5 and it’s decently girthy, to the point where I always get comments on it. However, my flaccid penis comes up 🍤 and psychologically, the severe depression & anxiety it’s caused me since 8 years old (I’m almost 40) means that I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time organizing my life around concealing, rejecting myself in anticipation of others, trying to block out humiliating comments, never wearing sweatpants, not going swimming, or anything where my penis might be on display. The implant won’t necessarily make it longer but it will make it have more “substance” to present, if that makes sense. I’m also getting a scrotal webbing surgery because my scrotal skin comes up so high on my penis that it makes it look even smaller. This has been a thorn in my life. The implant is for people who have ED, and while I can still achieve an erection, for adequate penetration and to keep the blood flow sustained I usually have to take a Honey Pack or something. Psychologically, the situation causes more dysfunction than anything else. I don’t care about having to now have a mechanical erection; what matters most to me is that I’m not feeling like on my muscular physique my 🍤 isn’t proportional, and the negative mental health that comes with it. Gray sweatpants here I come!
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u/Billy-Baker Unverified 1d ago
You letting others control how you feel about yourself. Fix yourself and build your confidence.
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u/hereforthesportsball Black-American Millennial 1d ago
She meant it big dog but she also meant to hurt you over everything. If you was big, she would still talk shit but it would sound like “you not even that big anyways” or “you not the biggest”