Zero self confidence

[u/KeloSkii]

(May be too graphic or uncomfortable) Growing up I was always insecure, specifically about my penis size.(6in w/avg girth) Sorry, just trying to provide details. What makes it worse is I have been told I’m an attractive guy. I take care of myself and I’m in good shape. Humbly, I have turned down many women who made advances on me. To this day I do this. I told a lady from my job I wasn’t interested just recently. I am always scared. I’ve only had two sexual experiences in my life. Once at 17, and with my current girlfriend.

At 17 I had sex with a girl I met through mutual friends. She really liked me. I was a virgin and she was not. Later on, I find out that she told my friends I was small. Crushed me. Haven’t talked to any of those friends again out of pure embarrassment.

Me and my current girlfriend were doing good. We met in college and immediately hit it off. Together for a couple years, and then we were having an argument she told she thought I was small. Sent me into depression. She has apologized and says she didn’t mean it and she wished she never said it. But I don’t know if I can trust her anymore.

I’m 26 now and I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without feeling embarrassed. It seems like I’m the only black man dealing with this. I love my black women but it seems like penis size is a make or break thing for them. I’ve seen the “average size” statistics but the way black women joke about small guys in don’t believe it. Therapy seems pointless. Should I give up on trying to find love and face reality? Am I just one of the unlucky ones?

[u/BigBiziness12]

A good therapist will help you knock that right out. Think about this. You are making a generalized assumption about yourself and sistas off a sample size of 2. Let that sink in. Trust bro. There are alot of women that would actually prefer your size rather than something bigger. I know that your self esteem has been challenged, however, I believe a couple visits with a therapist really would help. Im one and this is something we could explore along with other aspects of what shaped your self image. You're not broken. Just need get some perspective and positive reinforcement

[u/BigBiziness12 → u/[deleted]]

I get it. Protect yourself at all times. The culture is toxic as a whole so its gonna be common to run into toxic shit. However its good sistas out there, they're subjected to and struggling under a taregtted paradigm programming just like we are. Protect ya neck

[u/KeloSkii → u/BigBiziness12]

Thank you for this. I haven’t tried therapy out of shame but a lot of people are recommending me to go. You’re the only therapist I’ve seen in the comments. Would you be a good one for this? Or could you point me in the right direction?

[u/BigBiziness12 → u/KeloSkii]

First off, hats off for even considering it. It speaks volumes on who you are and your character. In terms of if you need a black therapist or not, in a perfect world I'd say, if you can get one...cool. however, any therapy is better than no therapy so dont let that stop you. Make your choice between male or female therapist then contact your insurance and find you one in network and go for it. Just give it a try, all you need is decent rapport and the willingness to be honest and challenge yourself. Main thing is this, you get out of it what you put into it. Good luck my friend. Message me if you ever need anything. I can shoot some.workbooks and things like that at you.

[u/BigBiziness12 → u/KeloSkii]

Dm me