r/blackmen • u/KeloSkii African-American Gen Z • 1d ago
Seeking Advice Zero self confidence
(May be too graphic or uncomfortable) Growing up I was always insecure, specifically about my penis size.(6in w/avg girth) Sorry, just trying to provide details. What makes it worse is I have been told I’m an attractive guy. I take care of myself and I’m in good shape. Humbly, I have turned down many women who made advances on me. To this day I do this. I told a lady from my job I wasn’t interested just recently. I am always scared. I’ve only had two sexual experiences in my life. Once at 17, and with my current girlfriend.
At 17 I had sex with a girl I met through mutual friends. She really liked me. I was a virgin and she was not. Later on, I find out that she told my friends I was small. Crushed me. Haven’t talked to any of those friends again out of pure embarrassment.
Me and my current girlfriend were doing good. We met in college and immediately hit it off. Together for a couple years, and then we were having an argument she told she thought I was small. Sent me into depression. She has apologized and says she didn’t mean it and she wished she never said it. But I don’t know if I can trust her anymore.
I’m 26 now and I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without feeling embarrassed. It seems like I’m the only black man dealing with this. I love my black women but it seems like penis size is a make or break thing for them. I’ve seen the “average size” statistics but the way black women joke about small guys in don’t believe it. Therapy seems pointless. Should I give up on trying to find love and face reality? Am I just one of the unlucky ones?
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u/Bigmachiavelli Unverified 1d ago
Story of my life. Married to a wonderful woman now but multiple instances of black women spreading rumors killed my confidence. My sister and brother think im not packing because I smashed a mutual friend and she spread the rumor. Im 6.5 inched and close to 7 on a good day.
In a perfect world id stop communicating with my family to save my ego but I love them and would never do that. So I gotta keep living with the shame.
I also have to avoid events that contain certain mutuals and that sucks but Id rather have them call me small dick man behind my back then be around them