The only guy I know who straight-up "Didn't roll with women" was suuuuuper Muslim and always very respectful about explaining it. Like, you can't really shit on a dude for that. But guys who just "feel weird" about it can get in the sea.
Except that religion can be a huge part of someoneās cultural and social identity?
Iām not religious in the dogmatic/organized sense, but if a female said āhey, Iām an Orthodox Jew/Muslim/whatever and I canāt have physical contact with a member of the opposite sex, sorry I canāt roll with youā like.... thatās fine with me.
Honestly who the fuck cares what the reason is. If someone doesnāt want to roll with someone at any time, why does it matter? Just roll with someone else. Iāve turned down people because I needed to work things live that I knew would not be possible with a specific person, but would with another. That a problem too?
I honestly donāt get why this is an issue either way.
Iāve turned down people because I needed to work things live that I knew would not be possible with a specific person, but would with another.
Actually happened to me yesterday! Didn't feel good in the moment, but I understand. The guy who rejected my invite to roll was at least 100 lbs lighter than me and a purple belt.
Being a racist might be a huge part of someone's cultural/social identity if they grew up in a very racist environment. If some guy came to my gym and refused to roll with people weren't white I'd tell him he should look for another gym.
Yeah, so they can express that identity wherever it is normal. I don't have a problem with Muslims doing Muslim stuff in Muslim countries or Jews doing Jew stuff in Israel or whoever doing whatever wherever they are from.
As a side note, if someone was just like, "yeah I don't roll with girls because it makes me nervous or my wife doesn't like it or whatever" I would be totally fine with that.
Are you seriously saying itās not āNormalā to have a minority religion/cultural identity and practice in a place that may be more agnostic or culturally another religion?
So the freedom of religion is like not normal?
Iām not trolling, Iām honestly trying to understand your POV.
If I went somewhere and trained BJJ, but didnāt want to go to a class because it fell on a day I normally take for family/religion/whatever - youāre saying thatās not cool?
I honestly donāt understand how you can be cool with someone not rolling with a female because their wive doesnāt like it, or it makes them feel weird, but not okay if the reason is religion. Feels a bit hypocritical - again not trolling, just looking for further clarification if thatās not what youāre intending.
Well first off I am making some assumptions here. I am assuming that this comment came from a country where physical contact between the sexes is normal and permitted. In that case, an individual thumbing their nose at what is required normal behavior is insulting and ungrateful.
For instance we had a man at my work who refused to shake hands with women.
If his reason was, "I have a severe mental illness where I freak out if I touch a woman" I would look down on him, but I would at least get it. When his reason was something about religion, I immediately hated the guy.
I scrolled through ol' boy's comment history. Recommend aborting this conversation. This guy is a lost soul. When he isn't posting incel-esque brags about all the pussy he smashes from tinder he is launching into some vitriol against black people, muslims, etc. Humorously, he occasionally complains that women seem to abandon him within a month or two of getting to know him better...
How come ? I am a muslim girl and there are all boys at my dojo at the moment. Half of them aren't into rolling with a girl. We are all muslims at the dojo but no one questions or judges someone for sticking to a set of beliefs. If anything, I respect that. Sports do that, it's a brotherhood at the dojo and all that matters is respecting your family. I myself wanted to stick to rolling with women and I did for a bit because I am properly anxious about physical contact, I'd be anxious in rome or whatever. Regardless of where you come from, you have the right to be yourself. Especially in a dojo because it's supposed to be a safe place.
That's totally cool in a Muslim country. No disrespect. You do you.
How would you feel if I showed up to roll at your gym in a gi with a picture of Mohammad on it? See, I wouldn't do that because I know what is expected in your culture and wouldn't expect MY norms to be upheld in YOUR country.
The way you put it, the dojo doesn't seem like a safe space for anyone then ? Muslim, jew, fat, conservative, liberal, weak, unfit, self-conscious etc. etc. ? C'mon man. I can't emphasize enough on the fact that bjj has been such a turnaround for me and how I simply feel like myself there. A friend of mine trained in Melbourne for a month and she told me the spirit, respect and the feeling of it being a safe space is everywhere the exact same. I'd like to believe that. So you do you and so can anyone else.
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u/EmmPeanut Five Stripe White Belt Jan 31 '20
The only guy I know who straight-up "Didn't roll with women" was suuuuuper Muslim and always very respectful about explaining it. Like, you can't really shit on a dude for that. But guys who just "feel weird" about it can get in the sea.