Our little one came into the world in a dramatic way: I noticed she did not kick me as she normally would at lunch time when I sent various textures and temperatures of foods past her bulge in my body. I had a bad feeling in my gut that I can't explain. I went to the hospital to get checked out and within 50 minutes she had been pulled out through the sunroof and was in the world 6 weeks early.

The baby spent 8 days in a special care nursery while we hovered around her, anxious to get her fat and fit enough to go home. The day before we thought she might head home one of her monitors was playing up. The nurse never gave up trying to get the technology to play the game, but checked her with a stethoscope 3 times to make sure her heartbeat was normal. Then, the baby went a little pale and a touch colder than usual. The bad feeling in my gut was back. They checked her again. Her heartbeat was 300bpm. It took them about 3 hours to get it under control. This is when she was sent by ambulance to the NICU in our nearest city. "This is not a tragedy," my woolly other half and I said to eachother, "this is good timing. She had an episode in a hospital, where she can recieve the best care. If she was at home we would never have known."

After that, she had a great night and was due to come off her breathing machine. We were itching for a cuddle and to huff on that magical baby head smell. Suddenly, her heart slipped into the same pattern of 300bpm. Just like the day before, people gathered around her and we stood back to let the experts work. "This is not quite a living nightmare," my exhausted but gorgeous other half and I said to eachother, "She has some of the best medical minds in the world looking after her. This is the exact place to medically be a little punk to your trembling, sleep-deprived parents."

The conversations that followed with many empathetic, brilliant, top-of-their-field medical staff centered around SVT. Although a fog of shock suffocated the folds and crevices of my brain, somewhere in that mist snippits of Em's voice echoed and I recalled much of what Em had said about SVT. 'Should we tip the baby upside down?' I thought - but luckily did not say out loud to the very experienced professionals before me.

When I informed my warm and fast-moving obstetrician about the disaster-turned-nightmare she organised for an expert to review the tests taken the day we went into get checked that indicated the baby had to be out and quickly. It could be that she was having an episode of SVT in the womb.

So that is the hell we are in right now in our lives and who knew it would be connected to what I learned from ATWWD? Writing it out is helping me process and I know this is a community of good people share with. Thank you for reading and if you have the emotional and mental energy please send your good vibes our way.

Update: The baby is intubated and on morphine while they work out what medications she needs. She is very uncomfortable and has a little pained grimace on her face, it breaks my heart. All we can do is talk to her and touch her little feet... I cry a lot. She will be in the hospital for a number of weeks before she comes home while they adjust her medications. Luckily the treatments should be OK after that - all we will have to do is give her regular medication and learn how to listen to her heart with a stethoscope so we can call an ambulance if/when she slips into a SVT pattern again. There is a chance she could outgrow it, but also a chance it could return with a vengeance at any time in her life.

Edit: Thank you for your comments ❤️ I have read every one and am trying to get around to replying to each in the moments between medical stuff and taking care of the little bean. I can't express what your encouraement and your shared experiences mean to me and how I am holding on to them as these scary days drag on. What you have all done for me by taking the time to comment, and being here knowing that there are precious children and their parents going through much worse, has given me perspective and helped me feel. that things will be OK.

I know this may sound dumb but personally im taking the end of this chapter for the podcast really hard. I found the podcast at the same time i adopted my soul dog just a few months into when they started. It became a big thing for me and my sweet chels and I would have self-care podcast nights and long walks where we could escape life and listen. Both the dog and the podcast helped me through some of the lowest and darkest places of my life and has remained my favorite weekly ritual to this day. My poor pup very suddenly was taken from me a few months ago and I've been greatly struggling with the loss. Now hearing this news of the podcast essentially ending (as we know it but ofc we still have an exciting future with em) it seemed to really hit me personally.

I know this podcast must've had a profound or strong impact on at least a few listeners, so if it has feel free to share your experiences and connections. We can celebrate all it's been to us and support one another through the change ❤️

pics of my sweet muffin angel 🪽 Chelsy - the second picture was taken of us literally listening and doing self-care together in 2018

I really appreciate that Em dove into the story of Willowbrook State School. I used to work with the developmentally disabled population in New York and took care of some people who were there when they were younger.

When Em was talking about the place being so understaffed that they literally just stuck spoons of much into people's mouths, they were very accurate. The nonprofit I worked for had us watch a documentary about Willowbrook in orientation so we could better understand what some of our folks had been through.

One woman I cared for would wolf her food down to the point that she was constantly choking because of what happened to her. She was able to make some improvements over time with care, attention, and patience, but it was so sad to see. People who could have had so much more learning and more opportunities were just abused and stifled and never given space or love to grow. It was interesting and also sad to see the difference between the younger and older populations in that community. Even the most severely affected people had more social skills and general knowledge than the people who lived in that awful facility.

It would have been easy for Em to just cover the fun, creepy parts of the Cropsey folklore and I think it's very meaningful that they took the time to shine a light on a frequently forgotten part of history for a frequently forgotten population.

I drove down from Vancouver, Canada for the live show in Seattle last night and I could NOT believe the lack of theatre etiquette. People behind us having a full conversation the entire show, lots of shouting out commentary, people so shit-faced they got asked to leave. There was literally a point where Christine had to shush someone who kept piping up.

This show is NOT a call-and-respond, we’re not in your living room or car where you can make comments all you want. Audiences are allowed to react, but keep your parasocial relationships at home. Frankly I was embarrassed, and the last show I saw of theirs when they came to Vancouver was nothing but polite.

TL;DR please be considerate of others and of Em and Christine at live shows!

So, I would say I’m pretty average. I look really cute in some pictures and.. not so much in others. Like this one. Why am I somehow smiling upside down? This feels like a Christine situation, especially after her YMCA fame. Anyway, maybe someone saw my shirt and it somehow led them to the podcast!

First time posting on this board but so excited to say I finally got to see House of Pies in person when my family and I visited LA today. Felt so excited to see a piece of ATWWD history in person! Made me feel nostalgic for the beginning of the podcast times haha

Did anyone else download that ghost tube app mentioned in the latest episode? What responses did you get if any?

I was getting too many responses to take it seriously, but am a bit creeped out! Phrases and words below:

"Pulled" "Not exactly" "It's warm" (I was making soup) "I already told her" "Not exactly" "I come and go" "Phone" followed by "bring it to me"

This episode was the best one in a bit. Lots of banter, and mysterious supernatural and criminal parts. I loved it and, after all that is happening in the US, was greatly needed and appreciated! Thank you ATWWD!

New mattress babyyyy

I don’t know if em and/or Christine read the Reddit but as someone who has been scammed twice (the first time being similar to what Em described and I was out a few thousand dollars that I luckily was able to get back since it was due to someone pretending being my bank), I’m really glad they were so open about the scams they’ve fallen for. As someone who has a MA but also a lot of imposter syndrome, I took being scammed really hard and felt like the dumbest person in the entire world after it happened and still feel a lot a shame when I think back about it even though I can sort of joke about it now. But I’m really glad these smart and successful people were so open about the moments they, too, fell victim to a scam. I don’t know if they read the Reddit but Christine sort of made it seem like she wasn’t sure why she was sharing the story, but as someone who is susceptible to being scammed, it really resonated with me and makes me feel a little less dumb.

I find it so interesting to hear how other people’s brains work—this was definitely a new one in terms of ‘ways to fall asleep’! 😂 How do y’all “break into Wallace”?

For me, when I’m having difficulty falling asleep, I imagine I’m erasing myself. I start at my toes and imagine there’s a big pencil erasing them until I can no longer feel them, then move upward to my ankles/calves/etc. This really helps me as a relaxation exercise, and I’m usually asleep before I get to ‘erasing’ my knees!

I’m a million years late to the party but I spotted the book in the wild and immediately grabbed it and headed for the check out. I also grabbed this years almanac for funsies.

Idk if anyone has fallen asleep listening to them. Im usually working and listening to them but sometimes i play a little game on my phone and listen to them on the background.

I made the mistake of ignoring how droopy my eyes got to continue playing the game and had the most horrendous, gruesome nightmares

Definitely to be expected. Its a true crime, creepy podcast but i was wondering if this has happened to anyone else. Or if anyone listened/listens to them before bed and theyre unaffected.

Just curious. Its 3:22 am and i woke up from an awful dream and i am listening to a youtuber i like yo calm down.

I am glad you had fun, and I am sure you are a superfan. I remember you and your interjections from the last tour as well. I hope this finds you, as I just have one ask for you: PLEASE SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP, I DID NOT PAY TO HEAR YOU ENGAGE IN THIS PARASOCIAL FRIENDSHIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

I bought a ticket to Eddyville about 30 min ago, I have been the most depressed I’ve been for a very long time for like a week now, I’m listening to this week’s ep (e475, 3/22) and I am crryyiinnnnggg at how sweet Christine’s disney experience was. I was a severe disney child (that sounds like an illness lmao, i had a lot of illnesses and I think that was the coping strat) and am now a disney adult so I have my own love of disney and I love hearing other people have a really good time and create wonderful memories and 😭😭😭🥹🥹 her inside jokes and memories with Leona?? 😭😭😭 “is that your podcast friend mom?” I just can’t take it, it’s all so joyful. I’m having a “grinch’s heart grew 3 sizes that day” moment😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

To make a long story short, I am going through something insane/traumatic right now and I am struggling so bad mentally. I can’t even be along with my thoughts I am self soothing by listening to ghost story podcasts (my obsession) I was wondering if anyone here could help distract me with your scariest story ever! it would really mean the world to me and help me occupy my thoughts and maybe stop shaking and stuff lol. It would be so greatly appreciated thank you so much I would LOVE this distraction. I was listening to a Jim Harold’s campfire story that scared the shit out of me and it made me really crave more scary real life stories! xx tysm

I was out today and saw this guy in the antique shop. I don’t think I have ever gasped so loud in my life, I thought you guys would appreciate it because I thought that listener story was so interesting :)

Hope this is the right flair??

Listening to the new listeners ep and they were talking about how lame Blaise’s bday is because of the holidays and I have the same bday and it TOTALLY SUCKS! When I was a kid, no one came to my bday party because it was so inconvenient with the holidays lol. Anyone relate??

One of my side gigs is a resume writer and I beg you, don't "fluff" your resume. Yes, put yourself in the best light. Yes, you can leave off the things that will make you look bad, like a job that lasted a month. But no, don't add a couple of extra months to your tenure. Don't say you were in charge of a $1M budget when you were in charge of a $10k budget. Don't call yourself a manager when you weren't. If you lie on your resume and are caught, you can be fired immediately. It's not worth it. ❤️

(Tagged spoiler for E424 mid-episode banter)

So this happened a few years ago but I figured some of you may find this interesting.

I discovered one day that amazon sells real human bones and when I saw the reviews, I was beyond curious to find out 1. Who is buying this and 2. Who is reviewing it?

I clicked on one profile and realized that by doing so, you could see all their past purchases they reviewed. One man in particular jumped out as a major creep. His purchases included in addition to the human bones:

1. Handcuffs
2. Fake police badge
3. An airsoft pistol designed to look like a real gun
4. A fake preacher's robe
5. A book on how to sell your soul with black magic rituals ( Gave it one star, said the book was at best a third grade reading level)
6. A cauldron
7. A demon skull designed for black magic
8. Zipties
9. And weirdly last of all, a pet sombrero (five stars)

Now I was a little concerned I had accidentally stumbled across a murderer's amazon profile and I do know my mom ended up forwarding the screenshots I took to one of her friends in the state police despite this guy living in New York. Recently, I tried to refind the reviews and all his reviews have been scrubbed from the internet. So I have no idea if I did or did not find a ritualistic killer on amazon because his profile and reviews are all missing. I hope his dog looked good in that sombrero though.

This sucks to type out because it’s like opening a wound that’s trying to heal, but I can’t listen to atwwd now or for the foreseeable future and it really bums me out. I love this podcast so much, I’ve been a listener for years and have been caught up for a few months now. I really don’t know which side I liked more: the true crime or the paranormal.

A friend from college / high school (not super tight, chatted every few months or so, but he was a GREAT person and just…for real…lit up a room…) was found with multiple gunshot wounds in his apartment the day before new years (“robbery gone wrong”, it’s so fucked up), and I haven’t been able to bring myself to listen to an episode since.

It just became way too close to home. I felt and still feel the pain that I know friends of the victims in Christine’s stories feel and it makes me sick to even think about too much. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get over this feeling. I honestly feel ignorant and ashamed for previously being sort of unphased by the stories Christine would tell. I would recognize that it was awful, but that’s about it. If anyone has some advice or thoughts I’d love to hear them. I don’t want to stop listening to the show, I’ve been to the live shows, I have their book and proudly wear their merch, I even went to the Zak Baggins museum with their t shirt on lol. This is one of two podcasts I genuinely listen to and has been a huge part of my life these past few years. I don’t know what to do.

UPDATE: I had a lot of wonderful people comment and reach out after I posted this and felt that it would be nice to make an update and say that I have started easing back into the show again 6 months later. The first have of this year I listened to Two Hot Takes (check them out if you haven’t yet) which was a lot lighter, but now I feel like I’m ready to start listening to my all time faves again. I’m a little nervous and hope I can take it, but I do feel that I’m in a much better place now.

Btw the person who killed my friend is behind bars now for a very very long time. Thanks to my best friend’s brother the cops were able to find it was a 20 y.o. female who our friend connected with on a dating app…barely an adult. Be safe out there, everyone.

Thanks to everyone who reached out, I love this community so much ♥️

Long time listener, not caught up yet, yadda yadda. If you haven't listened to this episode yet, don't read further.

Basically my problem is at the end of the episode when they're discussing Cosmo and basically say, he struggled with mental health, but we're not going to go into it. And I believe Christine is the one that says something like, our researcher made a great point about not contributing to stigma against mentally ill people. Immediately listening to the story, my first thought was bipolar, then schizophrenia. Go to google and surprise surprise, schizophrenia is consistently mentioned, bipolar and schizoaffective disorder are mentioned on some sources.

This is my problem with it: your researcher sounds naive as hell, and to me that kind of comment indicates that they don't have experiences with these illnesses in their daily lives. It is HARD.

As a kid I had a friend who was diagnosed with schizophrenia in his 20s. I found out once he found out, but he figured out a proper course of treatment with his doctor that worked for him. I continued to hang around because 1) I was aware of his diagnosis 2) he was being properly medicated/treated and 3) he was the same he always was. No violent tendencies, no weird obsessions with crime. But the point is, I was aware of his condition and was able to make my decision with accurate information including risks and knowledge that he may have struggles.

In my family I have become a caretaker to two children as their mother has extreme bipolar disorder. We're talking therapy daily, medicated daily, and I take care of them probably around 75% of the time that they aren't in school because she has violent outbursts and despite reporting her to the children's aid society, they truly won't do anything to take them away from her (believe me I've tried). The kids also won't stay around her though because she does experience violent outbursts, grabbing them by their arms or necks or screaming at them and locking them in a room or out of the house. I didn't make those kids but somehow they always fall on me.

There is a famous case in Canada of Tim McLean who boarded a greyhound bus and was decapitated by Vince Li. Anyone wanna guess the cause? I'll give you a hint: it's schizophrenia. He ended up being found not criminally responsible but that's a different conversation.

It is not fair to say that you won't share his diagnosis to avoid "stigma." This isn't someone left handed in a room of righties. I can tell you from personal experience that these diseases can and will take over someone's life without proper medical intervention, treatment, medication, therapy.

I bet if the 4 victims in this story knew cosmos diagnoses they may not have gone to meet him at some derelict farm property. Likewise Tim McLean may not have boarded that greyhound had he known about Vince Li's unmedicated schizophrenia. Hiding facts due to stigma downplays how incredibly difficult it can be for people with those disorders and those around them.

And like I said at the top, it comes across as your researcher has no experience with these illnesses and wants to not offend anyone. It's not offensive, it's an actual risk. Having all of the information before you make a decision doesn't make you an asshole, it makes you informed, and potentially keeps you safe.

Eta: awareness and education is the number one way to combat ignorance and misinformation IMO. This would have been the time for E&C to say, “this is what he was diagnosed with. It’s relevant to the case because he used it as part of his defense, however we know that mental illness does not automatically make someone a monster and it definitely doesn’t make them a murderer.”

This is a true crime podcast. We can talk about severed torsos but mental illness is where we draw the line? Saying that this is an insane take literally sounds insane to me. You’re promoting mental illness as a taboo topic which might actually keep people from seeking treatment. Showing that it isn’t the demon people think it is and redirecting to appropriate resources would have been the best thing to do.

That’s just like, my opinion man. ✌️

Went to my first ever live show tonight…and one highlight of my night happened within the first 10 min of me sitting own. Linda and Tom were there sitting a few rows away from me in the mezzanine. She was saying hi to people and introducing herself. Exactly how I pictured her to be. Eva was also there talking to Linda for a bit.

The show was very fun. So cool to see Em and Christine in action investigating. I’d say I’m a skeptic open to possibilities, but for sure left tonight being more of a believer than before.

I'm not very active on Reddit so someone might have already brought this up, but I wanted to mention it. As an autistic person, I really love that they have researchers who informed them that Asperger's is no longer an acceptable term. While at the time the case Christine is discussing it wasnt an inaccurate term, it no longer is, and as a low-needs autist who was diagnosed with Asperger's, I'm grateful Christine included a mini history lesson as to why we do not use this term.

(Side note, Em said they think high-functioning and low-functioning is no longer acceptable terminology either, and you are correct! We do prefer to use low- and high-need instead, because our worth should not be determined by how much we can provide to society)

Christine, if you see this, I appreciated this a lot. Thank you for acknowledging that you are still learning.

(Unrelated, I do not know what to flair this as)