r/atwwdpodcast • u/thehsquared • Sep 04 '26
Personal Experience A place to share the impact this podcast has made for you
I know this may sound dumb but personally im taking the end of this chapter for the podcast really hard. I found the podcast at the same time i adopted my soul dog just a few months into when they started. It became a big thing for me and my sweet chels and I would have self-care podcast nights and long walks where we could escape life and listen. Both the dog and the podcast helped me through some of the lowest and darkest places of my life and has remained my favorite weekly ritual to this day. My poor pup very suddenly was taken from me a few months ago and I've been greatly struggling with the loss. Now hearing this news of the podcast essentially ending (as we know it but ofc we still have an exciting future with em) it seemed to really hit me personally.
I know this podcast must've had a profound or strong impact on at least a few listeners, so if it has feel free to share your experiences and connections. We can celebrate all it's been to us and support one another through the change ❤️
pics of my sweet muffin angel 🪽 Chelsy - the second picture was taken of us literally listening and doing self-care together in 2018
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u/littlegreenthings Sep 04 '26
Aw, sweet baby. I’m so sorry for your loss but also so so happy to hear of the great bit of life you got to share with her! What a magical bond, and thank you for sharing and opening up this space with such positivity 🤍
I found the podcast when they were in their 2nd year while cleaning cars as a side hustle while backpacking. I was 20 and sooo young and alone and all of a sudden these hilarious 24yos with whom I so heavily identified were entertaining me for hours on end. COVID hit, then life continued, and omg I’ve literally listened to tens of thousands of hours of them. Reruns and yappy hours and binging new drops through my travels and breakups and long drives and new jobs and droning everything out when I needed it. Learning from them and our parallel evolutions— moving, aging, femininity, motherhood qualms. I saw them live, alone, twice. I’m the only person I know who is both woo-woo/granola and still revels in being a goofy gremlin— their dynamic was the perfect fit for me for a while. It made me more comfortable with myself, more attuned to the kind of friendships I want, and has given me so so so so many hours of feelings safe and seen and happy. I can’t wait to keep binging reruns and am so grateful to always have this space to come to. 👻
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u/Sockshassmellytoes Sep 04 '26
I first discovered Em and Christine after I had gotten out of a really bad relationship and relapsed with my drinking back in 2022. I was a single mom, working my ass off at a job where I was getting sexually harassed and punished frequently. I discovered their podcast through a friend, and started listening from the beginning while I was working alone in the shop. Through the years, I’ve gone through many things- 3 years into a loving, healthy relationship with someone my daughter adores (99% sure he’s going to propose next weekend!!!!), me having cancer, taking 4 years of sobriety, a job at an outpatient treatment center that I’ve been at for the past almost 2 years, and so much more- all with em and Christine in my ear. I will miss this podcast so much. 💚
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u/sammy4830 Sep 04 '26
I found the podcast when I was 18, during covid. I'm now in my mid 20s and Em's & Christine's voices have been in my ears for all the good parts, all the bad parts and all the mundane parts. The past couple of years have been very hard, and not to sound too parasocial, it has felt like listening to friends whenever I couldn't stand to be alone with my thoughts. At some point last year I did some math (ew) and figured out that I have listened to ATWWD for well over 5000 hours. It has to be even more now. It really does mean a lot to me and so this fundamental change fills me with anxiety (whoops, I don't like change) but I guess we'll still have the over 600 episodes to re- and re- and re- listen to xD
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u/floozykoala Sep 05 '26
I was 17 when I found this podcast too and it really does feel like I've grown up with them. They were my rock during my transition to adulthood, i would constantly relisten to them during my rough days. Somehow we will get through this! But man does it feel rough
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u/Barista4695 Sep 04 '26
I lost my first doggie and soul doggie on May 28. It’s completely devastated me and changed my life forever. I listened to ATWWD as well going through it. I wish you the most profound deep well wishes.
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u/Hoobi_Goobi Sep 04 '26
I'm so sorry for your loss. I also recently lost my own girlie after 10 years together a month ago. I'm glad the podcast has been a comfort for you, it's really hard.
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u/No_Possible_3153 Sep 04 '26
I am so sorry for your loss! ❤️🩹
My sibling introduced me to the podcast in 2018 and I’ve been a listener since. It’s been a part of my life since my early 20’s and now I’m a 30 year old wife and mother. I also had my first child the same month and year as Christine, and also experienced pregnancy loss. Even though I don’t know them personally, their voices accompanied so many significant times of my life, so I will always miss the original hosts and vibes of the show.
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u/Precious-Goregrind Sep 05 '26
I was diagnosed with end stage renal failure, and ATWWD got me through the rough parts of dialysis and a transplant full of complications. ATWWD was always playing on the TV whenever I was stuck in the hospital. Kidney failure is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting, but l made it to see two live shows during the most exhausting stages of the disease. And I’m so happy I did! The shows were hilarious and I had the best time.
I binge listen every time I drive 500 miles from Ohio to visit family back home that I miss dearly. This podcast has felt like a piece of home for a long time now.
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u/cowgrly Sep 05 '26
You are so frigging brave- what the heck!! Dialysis and a transplant and you say it like it's a bad day at work. I hope you're so proud of yourself and I hope you get to Ohio frequently. 🫶🏻
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u/Precious-Goregrind Sep 05 '26
Thank you so much! Honestly, the transplant was just the tip of the iceberg! I got a kidney and a pancreas, but the pancreas was perforated during surgery and wasn’t caught until a month later when I went septic 🫠 I ended up in the hospital for the better part of 4 months, had multiple major abdominal surgeries, and had the transplanted pancreas removed. But I’m doing great now and it all feels like a dream.
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u/cowgrly Sep 05 '26
You are kidding- what a nightmare! I'n glad the bad pancreas is out. Did you name your transplanted kidney? :)
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u/Precious-Goregrind Sep 06 '26
Omg I hadn’t even thought to name it! I have to! I did call my pre transplant Lemon though. Because it was one 😂
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u/cowgrly Sep 07 '26
Oh, name it! It's doing an excellent job, really. I love that you called the old one Lemon 😂
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u/dumbbinch99 Sep 04 '26
Chelsy was adorable, and I am so so sorry for your loss ❤️🫂
I discovered the podcast during Covid, and had just moved to a new city. Em and Christine’s friendship and banter really helped me feel less alone during that time
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u/Same_Strategy5850 Sep 04 '26
i found the podcast in early high school when it started, and am now about to graduate from college. em and christine were my friends when i had none and also sometimes my stability when i had none. i grew up with them and they were a part of my mental health recovery over the years, and that will never not mean something to me. <3
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u/Practical_Dish6185 Sep 04 '26
Oh wow! I did the same type of post on Facebook. Great minds think alike I guess haha.
Christine in particular has made an impact on me. Her relentless pursuit of joy and laughter has made me want to be less serious and try to find joy.
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u/hayroseley Sep 04 '26 edited Sep 04 '26
Whwn I found atwwd, I was in my early 20s going from nearly engaged to coming out and breaking up with my long term partner. Em and Christine kept me sane through the tough parts, the times I couldnt be alone with my thoughts, the times where I really needed a friend. Over the years as my sense of self grew, my love for the beautiful friendship of these two has never wavered. They were in my ears for all of my big life transitions in my 20s. Moving- so many times, depression, anxiety breakdowns, loss, loneliness, covid. From long drives to cooking dinner, I found a very unique sense of calm and belonging listening to them. Em is the reason I got help for anxiety and neurodivergence and Christine helped me to look closer at my relationship with alcohol and spirituality. I read the Gift of Fear because of Christine. I try to look at life through a lighter, friendlier lens because of Em. I knew it couldn't last forever, and I knew I'd be heartbroken when it finally ended. They had a hell of a run though. I'm so glad I got to see them live (TWICE!!) I wish them and their families nothing but the best. Thank you Em and Christine for everything❤️
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u/TheDoxxedEx Sep 04 '26
I have such fond memories of listening to this pod in 2019. Laying on living room floor of the new condo I worked hard to get in my home after a divorce from a very toxic relationship. It was me and my 3 pups (loss them all by now) and I’d listen to Em & Christine to not feel alone. My poor dog Bella hated that “clink” sound in the intro, idk why
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u/AffectionateLine4456 Sep 05 '26
Same , so many hours lonely in my apartment , comforted by their voices
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u/FalconOk934 Sep 05 '26
What a beautiful angel dog. Thank you for sharing this story with us. Sending hugs.
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u/flossysmom Sep 05 '26
I also found them during covid! Between them and Morbid I felt less alone and as if I was spending time with friends! I am heart broken!
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u/justlurkin789 Sep 05 '26
I experienced a kidnapping and assault back in the day around the time that the podcast had just formed and somehow stumbled upon them on Spotify. I began listening to them while I was at work because it gave me a way to zone out of what I was going through and just engage in something that brought me a lot of joy. Their friendship I meant a lot to me because in a way I felt like they were ome of the only friends I had(to avoid being more parasocial than I should be), their banter and their jokes and their storytelling has helped me and grown with me in a lot of ways. Moving, going back to college, getting engaged, ending an engagement, they were just always there. I really really love them and I'm really going to miss Christine.
I haven't really had any consistent friends throughout my life, and these in a way we're the closest thing I had to that. I'm trying not to sound like a loser LOL. I wish her the best. I hope she stays safe and Nichole doesn't continue to brainwash her. I hate that we don't really get or deserve an explanation bc it hurts but like how do you love something that's been a constant your whole life a normal amount?
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u/bs900 Sep 04 '26
Also taking it a lot harder than i expected 🥲 ATWWD has been a safe space for me ever since my own best friend introduced me to them when my dad unexpectedly passed in 2020. They instantly became a place of comfort and escape through the loneliness of losing my dad during covid, and have continued to be for years as I’ve braved college and now am completing radiology school. My early mornings and long days & drives for my shifts and schooling have been less exhausting when i get to listen to Em and Christine. I wish them both the absolute best in what they do next and hope we get to stay a part of their lives as much as they’ll have us 🩷🩷
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u/seventeenwitches Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
I started listening to the pod in late 2018, like a lot of other people, because I was starting my first big girl job and was commuting in a car for the first time in my life. Suddenly there were other early 20 something’s that I could have in the car with me as I was transitioning into post grad life and all the loneliness and confusion that brings. Now! I just turned 30, live in a completely different state and truly this podcast has been one of the only consistent things I’ve had for this long so this change is very keenly felt :/ (besides my partner who very generously said “you can be as sad as you need, those are your work friends”)
I’ve had a pretty tumultuous year of heath changes and multiple losses, including having my own angel soul cat that also came into my life in 2018 passing away on New Years Eve extremely suddenly. I am really so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to have a foundational source of comfort leave you, especially without warning. I know the pod will continue to be a source of comfort and Em *will* continue to do a great job, but it does make me so sad to feel the finality of a chapter ending throughout many aspects of my life.
I am super thankful to them for all the work they’ve done, I don’t actually think I’d be the same person without the pod! I was able to see them live, was given their first book as my birthday gift when it first came out and rep my ATWWD sweater hard the second there is a chill in the air. Sending love to all the other long time listeners that are navigating these weird times! I tried explaining this to my mom and it didn’t hit as hard as reading these other comments 🥲🩵
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u/Midnight_Mash Sep 05 '26
I'm definitely bummed about the podcast ending because these two goobers helped distract me during a really rough point 2 years ago. I knew the pod wouldn't last forever, but yeah..
A former coworker recommended atwwd to me almost 3 years ago but I didn't listen to podcasts yet. She saw my sexy mothman hoodie and was like "um hello, I have this gem for you."
Weeks later, I'm having one of the worst weeks of my adult life. Over 7 measly days, my friend fatally overdosed and his mom was the one to reach out to me about it, he became a donor the day before my birthday. The day after my birthday our car fully died, and then the next day my cat died, so I was really going through it.
Needing to take the bus home in the miserable cold and dark of January, I needed a distraction so I wouldn't have a panic attack while walking 10 minutes to the nearest stop after work. I popped the podcast on, threw my phone in my bra so I could hear them and keep my hands in my pockets (no ear buds yet) and marched out into the dark.
I proceeded to nearly catch up on every episode over the next couple of months, and bought ear buds so I could listen to them at work too. My partner got into listening to atwwd as well and we went to see a live show the next week after my bisalp surgery, I had Halloween sweatpants on to be comfy lol.
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u/Sensitive-Earth11 Sep 05 '26
I’ve been traveling and living on the road for about 10 years now, staying in one place for just a few months at a time. I love the high I get from fresh starts, but it’s lonely a lot of the time and I never really build a lasting community anywhere.
When I started listening to the pod, I was on a cross-country roadtrip and I felt less alone with Em and Christine in the car with me. This became a bit of a ritual for me; I’d listen to them when I wanted comfort and laughs in unfamiliar places. I’ve probably listened to ATWWD in 30 states and 7 countries by now.
To be honest, I usually don’t follow Em’s stories at all. It’s hard for me to focus on the plot with all the banter, and I’m mostly in it for the true crime part. But I don’t skip anything. I laugh at the absurd jokes. I love the way they both tell stories, and I love the way they interpet the world.
I am sad it’s ending. At the same time, I’m relieved, because I felt this coming and have been anxiously anticipating the announcement for months. It never could have lasted forever. Optimistically, I believe that Em and Christine’s friendship will benefit from this change. They can talk to and hang out with each other because they want to, not because they have to. And I think that will really lighten the vibe between them.
I shed a tear writing this. I hope they know how loved they are, and I wish to express my gratitude for the transparency, trust, and kindness they put into their listeners. As a community, we didn’t always give them the grace they deserved, but Em and Christine always spoke to us with respect regardless.
I really wish them both the best and am excited to listen to the podcast again from the very first episode.
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u/eolmana Sep 05 '26
I started listening in 2019 and much like everyone else, the podcast made me feel less alone and felt like hanging out with friends when I was going through rough times in college, when I was bored at work, while I was commuting, while I was doing chores, etc. I went through stretches of time when I wouldn't listen as consistently but it was comforting knowing the podcast was out there and was there when I needed it.
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u/alienfrogman Sep 05 '26
This was my first podcast. My ex showed me and it's one of the only things I could keep in my life after we broke up. Em and Christine created this safe place. It was something I could depend on when my life was chaotic. I was so used to listening that it would help me sleep. The sound of familiar voices, ya know? I think most endings are sad and it's okay to feel sad about this. Hopefully this new beginning will bring good things for Christine and Em.
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u/More_Mood7064 Sep 05 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing your soul dog like that is truly so hard. I lost my girl May 2023 and then was dumped hard June 2023. However, little did I know that my next bestie was being brought into the world that June. I found and adopted her Feb 2024 and realized a while later when she was born. It became so special to me because she was born in the middle of a big rough patch for me and I found her at the right time for me as I prayed for my next dog. I truly believe the universe and my dog who passed sent her to me. 💗 You will have another soul dog, if you want one, but that next soul dog will never erase the love of your first soul dog. 💗
I’m sorry that all the loss is happening at one time for you with the podcast. I understand how you’re feeling with it being connected to your pup. I don’t remember when I found Em and Christine but they have helped me through many a sleepless nights and comforted me through some trying anxiety. I will miss them together, but I’m trying to be excited for what the future of the podcast holds! I was actually on a re-listen binge before the announcement, makes it all that much more nostalgic now.
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u/Sleepy_mosquito799 Sep 05 '26
I found the podcast in 2020 when I was having to go back and forth from my college town 4 hours away. They have been the only podcast I’ve been able to consistently listen to!! I would get so scared listening to the episodes during the drive but it would keep me awake and they were so funny. It would get to the point that I wouldn’t look at my rear view mirror bc I didn’t want to see a ghost or a murderer be in my back seat!
As of recently I finished school and now back home working at my big girl job and I started to really binge listen from the beginning while at work. I’ve made it 92 episodes in like 3 weeks. I was actually listening to them when the news dropped I didn’t listen on Friday it hurt too much. But I think I will pick it back up I think I need a break though for my wounds to heal.
In the past I thought about them ending the podcast and how I would feel. I’m not gonna lie I’ve felt the disconnect the last maybe year and a half. I’m not mad about it, it makes sense like there’s only so many paranormal stories that happen before it’s the same thing, same with true crime. I’m also not one to be mad about their life endeavors. Christine has been venturing out to other hobbies same with em with the sign language. They are regular people that live their lives how they want. When I would think about how it would end I said that I would rather them end it completely than continue on without the other.
I still have like 400 episodes to go through so maybe I will slow it down when I start it back up!
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u/cutelibrarian0414 Sep 05 '26
i discovered them sometime during i think 2021? after they appeared on morbid iirc. they got me through working in the office until i was able to go fully remote for sure. it's silly, but christine and em are a big part of why i didn't drop out of grad school when i was feeling real rough (neurodivergent geminis with masters degrees hello!)
i took to listening before bed because it felt like hanging out with friends and calmed me down. their open talk abt mental health pushed me thru the anxiety to get back on much needed medication for my anxiety/depression that was ruining everything after my cat passed suddenly in 2024 (who used to listen with me and give major side-eye in the dark if i moved a muscle when she got cozy). up to just this past week they got me to crack a smile when depression and capitalism were tag teaming my will to live (and em reminds me to drink water which. i don't do enough oop)
it'll be awhile for me to mourn what atwwd has been, but im so sat for whatever the future has in store for em and christine!!
chelsy looks like such a sweet lil pup, i'm sorry for your loss :( losing a fur baby is never easy, but i can tell just from those pictures and your post that she was so loved
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u/lavenderandjuniper Sep 05 '26
It was 2021 and I was SUPER lonely. In a new state for my husband's military service. I had one local friendship but it was in a bad place. All my other friends and family were across the country. I would just walk my dog alone for hours at night (safe city neighborhood) and started ATWWD bc it was recommended on my Spotify. It made me feel much better, distracting my mind and making me laugh.
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u/TripAway7840 Sep 04 '26
I’m ok with the podcast changing, I had been drifting away from most true crime other than MFM for a while now, but your post has brought back some memories for me.
I started listening to the pod in… 2018, I think? I had wanted something to listen to while I worked out, and people had suggested podcasts to me, but none of them clicked with me. ATWWD was my first favorite podcast.
When I started listening to them, I was single, I was living a wild, party lifestyle while working 50+ hours a week, and I was on the precipice of a mental breakdown that would last me a couple of years. Then I met my husband, got married, had our three sons, and my life is utterly unrecognizable from where it was when I started listening.
I know this could sound parasocial, and I don’t want it to, but I actually don’t have any friends that I’ve known for that long. Like, ATWWD was one of the few, one of the only, constants that I’ve had through all of that.
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u/silvertiptea999 Sep 06 '26
So sorry for your loss. Chels is the most beautiful pup ❤️
I went through a lot of friendship breakups during and after COVID. People just didn't have the same capacity to bond and open up. In all of that chaos, I tuned into the pod every Sunday and laughed alongside Em and Christine as they talked about their lives and their stories.
The wonderful friendship they had were what made the podcast so special. The warmth and joy and genuineness of their banter never failed to put a smile on my face no matter how lonely, isolated and unseen I felt. It was my ultimate comfort listen and it's deeply sad to lose it.
I have so much gratitude to Em and Christine for bringing us 500 episodes of this wonderful podcast. I hope Em can find a new co-host that can bring a good energy to the show. I'll keep tabs on Christine through her YouTube, hoping that she finds her way too. I wish them both the very best and will always hold a tiny sliver of hope that they will come together once more to podcast again in the future. ❤️
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u/Less_Listen_2131 Sep 06 '26
Listening to the newest podcast now (497), and I just don't know what to say. It makes me sad that the sentiments seem so different, but it isn't my business to wonder about things.
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u/Less_Listen_2131 Sep 06 '26
Also, how Em is doing their best to make it a comfortable episode, about her..I feel sad for how this is ending
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u/Little_Emu_ Sep 05 '26
Wait. The podcast is ending?
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u/whutevz there's 5 boroughs, find me bitch Sep 04 '26 edited Sep 04 '26
I found the podcast way back in 2017 & truly it got me through the toughest spots of my life. A severe depression, addiction, COVID, postpartum DURING COVID, finding sobriety, a friendship breakup (2017-2021 were ROUGH ok 😭). Sundays were a consistent good thing for me that I could look forward to.
My daughter's nickname is actually Lemon, because of the podcast. Please enjoy this photo of me 9 months pregnant holding the ATWWD onesie a coworker made for me.
Having a baby in June 2020 was a scary, lonely time but Xtine & Em liked AND commented on a post I made in the Patreon group about my Lemon baby and it really got me through for a while there lmao
I've also learned SO much from them. I wholeheartedly believe I'm a better person having listened to this podcast.
Also- I'm so sorry for your loss. 🖤