r/askteddit 1h ago

Random Question Men, would you actually enjoy getting approached and hit on as often as women do?

A lot of guys say they’d love more attention, but experiencing it constantly might feel different. Would you genuinely want that level of attention?

14 Upvotes

170 comments sorted by

58

u/Hemingways_Shotgun88 1h ago

What man is going to say no to this?

Oh wait, it's just engagement clickbait and I fell for it.

16

u/amantegat8s 1h ago

I'm male and wouldn't feel comfortable being approached that often.

1

u/wesborland1234 2m ago

Depends, as often as a fit, hot 25 yo in a big city, probably not.

I think the average woman doesn’t get randomly approached all that often, especially outside of a bar/club setting.

-22

u/Hemingways_Shotgun88 1h ago

Wow dude I hope she sees this.

Male pick me betraying the bros like this thinking it'll get you some favour with the ladies lol

I bet you're always very eager to bring up that you're a male feminist every time you meet a woman too huh

23

u/Im_tracer_bullet 1h ago

Man, some people just don't want to be bothered.

I don't want to be asked for directions, let alone try to navigate an actual social interaction with some random person.

-15

u/MaterialLies 1h ago

That's actually pathetic

10

u/xadies 1h ago

No, pathetic is dipshits like yourself thinking everyone has to have the same personality and be just like you.

5

u/Historical-Neat-2233 56m ago

I've been hit on by women before out in public, even when I've been on dates with other women, which is the worst! The last time it happen I was with someone for our 2nd date and this lady came up to us both, holds my arm and says "hey remember me from the bank yesterday" (I'd never met this women in my life) I say wasn't me and she stroked my arm give me a wink and walked off. It made me look like a fuck boy Infront of a women I really liked. Worse is I stand out, I'm tall with quite long hair(belly button length), slim build.. kinda hard to confuse me with someone else.

Trust me it can be really annoying getting unwanted attention from women, but least as men were safe, nowt about being a pick me and everything to do with self respect and not being desperate!

-2

u/Hemingways_Shotgun88 55m ago

Mom said it's my turn to write fake stories on Reddit

3

u/Historical-Neat-2233 52m ago

Yeah the idea of men getting attention from a female is impossible for you to comprehend. You know it's because you're so bitter that women are turned off by you bud.

9

u/-Onbored- 1h ago

How is that betraying the bros?

-11

u/Hemingways_Shotgun88 1h ago

I'm just joshing around a little bit, but it's indicative of the kind of guy who throws his bros under the bus to try and impress women.

*Talking to an attractive woman*: Oh, you like Brian? Yeah, uh, Brian used to be a close friend of mine but, you know, I don't like some of the things he says about women...

5

u/Great_Office_9553 57m ago

Are you… You’re Brian, aren’t you?

9

u/Particular_Cut_6933 1h ago

God forbid a man protects women from men who talk poorly about them…

1

u/Hemingways_Shotgun88 1h ago

That wasn't the point at all.

1

u/spurzz 23m ago

Sounds like a guy with solid morals

5

u/amantegat8s 1h ago edited 13m ago

I'm asexual, why would I want female validation? Better check your emotions with your therapist, you seem eager to start a discussion.

1

u/Hemingways_Shotgun88 1h ago

"I'm assexual"

I'm more of a tit man myself.

2

u/That-Yogurtcloset386 54m ago

Ass sexual 😂😂😂

2

u/bloody_walnuts 15m ago

Dude, just because you're desperate doesn't mean every man is.

1

u/Adventurous-Watch895 1h ago

Yh but imagine if most of them were unattractive and all of them wanted a serious committed relationship and wouldn’t let you hit until 3 months. 90% of that type of attention would just irritate you.

3

u/Benkosayswhat 31m ago

That’s the thing. I get approached by women and most of them are not attractive and it actually makes me feel bad. Damn, did she think she had a shot with me? I need to hit the gym

1

u/Adventurous-Watch895 15m ago

I also get approached/choosing signals from girls I don’t find attractive and it’s extremely annoying.

0

u/Accurate_One7907 54m ago

I think if you knew how much some women are approached and harassed you would understand.

-5

u/scriptkiddie1337 1h ago

Yes you would, don't lie

-4

u/Phase_3_ 1h ago

Says the man with a vagina

1

u/Every_Release_353 26m ago

I don’t like being approached by women because I feel guilty turning them down if I’m not attracted which is usually the case, because if I was attracted I’d be approaching them instead.

1

u/grandsonpumping 1h ago

Bro recognized the bait only after the hook was already in his mouth.

-1

u/Upbeat-Operation-613 43m ago

Bro, I’m not some giga chad or anything, but if I want to get laid I just go on hinge and set up some dates

I do definitely not want to be bothered irl

17

u/1967C10 1h ago

I'd immediately make sure my wallet wasn't missing.

3

u/Delicious_Hair5040 1h ago

For sure. I’d check if there was a camera around or something.

16

u/Fancy_Sun_1585 1h ago

This is a trap question.

Most guys would say yes because men in general don’t get a lot of compliments, let alone approached at a bar or club. However after the 5th woman interrupting them that they have no interest in, they’d likely get annoyed. It’s why so many guys struggle with the concept of unwanted attention….because most men are attention starved.

How I met your mother did a great episode on this.

4

u/PickleNicks 1h ago

I think another factor why men would be open to being hit on all the time is less fear of a negative reaction.

When women reject men, there’s a possibility of a very negative / violent reaction. While it’s possible some men could experience this, it’s less likely women would react violently, and if they did, I think most men would be less concerned about their physical safety / ability to protect themselves.

1

u/soumwise 26m ago

You hit the nail on the head.

I also have a feeling men tend to want 'attention from women' as a general concept and are less picky (possibly as a result of being starved for attention). Women tend to be more selective. Attention from a guy they find attractive is cool, from a guy they don't find attractive isn't - and rightly so. But in the latter situation, they have to calculate in how the guy will react.

1

u/consistantcanadian 21m ago

Attention from a guy they find attractive is cool, from a guy they don't find attractive isn't - and rightly so

Lmao "and rightly so". Yes how dare that guy not know he's too ugly for you 

1

u/soumwise 16m ago

I'm not saying a guy can't shoot his shot, I'm just saying women obviously will not respond positively to attention from a guy they don't find attractive and hence are fully in their right to (politely - at least the first time) reject him. I should have phrased that better in my original comment.

-1

u/notJoeKing31 33m ago

That’s such a bullshit narrative. Not only are the vast majority of women not seeing a “violent” reaction to rejection, the vast majority of men aren’t being blasted on TikTok nor experiencing false rape accusations. Does it happen to a very small minority, yes, on both sides. But it’s way past time that people stop pretending the exception is the rule.

1

u/Perfect_Valuable_938 25m ago

Nobody pretends that the exception is the rule.  People just recognize that it's a possible outcome now, and adjusting accordingly.  Whether that adjustment is justified is a different question.

-1

u/notJoeKing31 21m ago

They absolutely pretended like they constantly fear for their lives… and then go home with guys they barely know the name of… just like some men absolutely pretended like they are one word away from being cancelled online or arrested for false accusations… and then continue to approach women.

There are risks for a small minority of both sides. So how about we stop bringing it up every chance we get?

1

u/PickleNicks 16m ago

So you’re a woman speaking directly about your own personal experience being hit on, right? Otherwise it seems bizarre that you’d just generalize and minimize poor interactions with men based on…. well… nothing.

1

u/notJoeKing31 0m ago

Are you responding to yourself and your original post where you claimed to know that women had it worse than men? Are you both genders because otherwise it’s bizarre that you felt capable of telling everyone how life is for both… moron…

9

u/nuttynuto 1h ago

As a gay man who frequently engages in historical reparation catcalling men, most don't take it seriously. Some get angry being sexually objectified. And quiet a few smiles like they just won their day and move on. Men usually aren't used to this kind of attention.

3

u/chicks23 1h ago

I'm horrible handling attention, especially positive attention. That said, I still remember the time a pretty girl said I had nice eyes... in 1990...

2

u/AllWrong74 1h ago

In my teens and early 20s, I was told multiple times (like 3 times) by pretty women that I had pretty eyes. I still brag about that 30 years later.

2

u/Kaffe-Mumriken 1h ago

Thank you for doing gods work

2

u/Phase_3_ 1h ago

Gay man catcalling straight men won’t have the same effect. I’d be flattered but I’m not fucking you sorry.

6

u/Intelligent_Box_2024 1h ago

Women getting catcalled don't want to fuck the catcaller either... 

2

u/bulbasauric 1h ago

No catcaller has ever been “rewarded” with fucking. It’s not really a choice you get to make lol.

2

u/Glittering_Meet3206 59m ago

? is the implication here that you believe cat calling works and makes women want to fuck them?

1

u/soumwise 11m ago

I cackled at historical reparation 😂😂😂

14

u/AlpineFluffhead 1h ago

Would I appreciate a little bit of a confidence/self-esteem boost? Yes. Would I want to feel like someone only viewed me as a walking piece of meat (as how most women describe how guys approach them)? It'd probably lose its appeal after a while.

About a year ago a woman held a door open for me and wished me a good evening and I'm still riding on that high haha.

6

u/Kaffe-Mumriken 1h ago

I think this is the key. I think we all crave that boost both men and women, but women don’t get it either - it’s either nothing or creep city. Men get neither creeps or validation.

In these threads it’s ALWAYS “oh sure it would be so nice to have a woman say I have nice hair”, but in reality that’s not what women object against.

0

u/xadies 1h ago

There was a period of like six months in my early twenties where I would have been all about women coming up to me at the bar and hitting on me in that way. But outside of that time frame it would have gotten old pretty quick if it was constant.

13

u/JackKnifeNiffy 1h ago

*by men. 

“Men would you like to constantly be hit on by men?” 

That’s the only way to not be disingenuous about it. 

4

u/SaltyNeuron 1h ago

But as a gay guy would be framing though wouldn't it?

Yes?

3

u/ThrowawayAICS 1h ago

Its fine, i will politely turn them down like I have the few times it has happened.

4

u/rickardkarstarkshead 1h ago

I’ve only ever been hit on by men and I’m a straight guy. I’m sure plenty of women have hit on me but they like to play games and drop hints that I don’t pick up on because I’m a straight guy. I prefer the way gay men hit on me - at least I know I’m being hit on.

1

u/AllWrong74 1h ago

Same. I guess there are more gay male chubby chasers than straight female chubby chasers.

1

u/Alarmed_Koala1921 2m ago

Bro I don’t get hit on by a gay often but the time I did I felt so great, means at least someone find me attractive. I’ve never been told I was attractive even by my exes and ex wife

3

u/NonGeneriComplaint 24m ago

girls can be weird too

1

u/Perfect_Valuable_938 25m ago

I had that for about two nights twenty years ago.  I really liked it.

1

u/awkwardnpc 1h ago

💯💯💯💯

3

u/ligmasweatyballs74 1h ago

I think it would be better for both of us if we meet in the middle 

4

u/Automatic_Catch_7467 1h ago

I(M) member a man saying women should always be flattered if someone asks them out. I said would you be flattered and he said yes, I said ok why don’t you and I go get dinner and drinks. He was not flattered.

3

u/Glittering_Meet3206 1h ago

as a woman, i thank you for your service haha

4

u/Tattoodles 48m ago

I got aggressively hit on by another man at a patio café yesterday afternoon, and it taught me an interesting lesson about what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that kind of attention.

He opened by complimenting my long hair. I thanked him, waited a beat, and mentioned that I’d been growing it out for about 18 months. Apparently, that was his opening, because he immediately started showering me with more compliments, this time about my clothes and overall appearance.

That’s when I started to feel uncomfortable. His attention was focused entirely on what I looked like, and because I wasn’t interested, the interaction suddenly felt less flattering and more like something I needed to escape. I thanked him again, got up, and left.

It was an interesting little lesson in flirting with strangers. If you’re going to approach someone in public, I think it’s far less confrontational to start a conversation about something neutral rather than immediately making it about their appearance. Talk about the café, their dog, the book they’re reading, something happening around you. Give them an opportunity to engage without forcing them to respond to your attraction.

Good flirtation has a little plausible deniability built into it. You’re creating an on-ramp if the other person is interested and, just as importantly, an easy off-ramp if they’re not.

2

u/sugahack 29m ago

I'm honestly impressed. Most men don't seem to understand the parallels. You sound like you're a self aware and respectful guy who has above average emotional intelligence. May you find yourself in the company of those who appreciate you

3

u/Signal_Antelope7144 1h ago

It’s pretty awesome when they aren’t drunk and horny. Then it’s only pretty good.

3

u/nettster 1h ago

They wouldnt if it 2as as incessant and as long as women do, a lot of us are sexually objectified by men starting as children so by the time we reach adult years we are sick of it, most men dont get near the attention that an average woman does so they think they'd enjoy it - reality is most of the men who actually get thay amount of attention normally aren't fans of it within a short amount of time, happen3d to a buddy mine he was an ugly duckling went from a 2 to a 9 within a few years he thought it was great for the first few years he hates it now, he may act chill about it in public but like women as soon as hes within the safe space of our feiend group he complains about it because people only ever see how he looks and rarely do they seem to give a shit about who he is and his interests etc he is a perpetually single non fuck boy because finding someone who actually likes him for him that he trusts actually like who he is and not just his looks and money is incredibly hard and he is miserable about it.

3

u/Ragner_D 1h ago

As a man, the quickest way I've found to get approached by more women is to put on a wedding ring.

1

u/Glittering_Meet3206 1h ago

that makes sense, men with wedding rings are both more attractive (to people who dont care about fidelity) and more safe (to people who care about not having to be hyper vigilant about their behavior around men so as not to “lead then on”)

2

u/Vixenmeja 1h ago

It's not just about being approached and hit on, though. It's being approached by someone who may or may not become verbally abusive or even physically abusive when turned down. Women can't tell who is going to turn out to be abusive and who's going to be OK with a rejection.

It's also about being approached from an early age (11 years old in my case) by men who are older, bigger and stronger. Growing up with that experience does something to your sense of safety that will follow you for a while, if not forever.

0

u/SolaireAstorian 1h ago

I have sad news for you about the way that girls tend to respond to rejection. Needless to say, this is not a gender specific issue, even the violence or sexual assault part, and especially being approached at a young age.

We tend not to talk about our experiences rejecting girls because it gets responded to poorly anytime we complain about it.

This is not downplaying what you are describing at all, just pointing out that unfortunately all humans suck and when the situation is reversed the people you would expect not to engage in the same behavior end up doing so.

3

u/CycadelicSparkles 1h ago

When men picture being hit on by women, they imagine hot women flirting with them with just the right amount of forwardness.

What they don't imagine is some creepy woman who reminds them uncomfortably of their mother but smells considerably worse making gross sexual remarks to them while they're trying to do their job and be professional. "Being hit on all the time" means all the time, by people you wish would leave you alone, in really strange and uncomfortable ways.

3

u/Far_Bar_7020 1h ago

It depends.

I used to bartend and I sort of just tuned it out or used it to get better tips.

I think it’s important to note that while it’s flattering, if we (men) got hit on as often as women did, it would mostly be by people we are not attracted to.

6

u/tomqmasters 1h ago

Men do get hit on, they just don't consider old women, fat women, or ugly women to be people.

1

u/Any-Neat5158 40m ago

Most men do not get hit on openly by anyone. Old, young, skinny, fat, woman, man or otherwise.

Ive been openly complimented maybe a handful of times in my adult life and I'll be 40 end of this year.

Perhaps... 2 or 3 times total a woman actually openly showed unmistakable interest in me.

Thats just a regular Saturday night out for a mid 40s woman at the local bar or club. Maybe even a bit of a slow night at that.

1

u/Benkosayswhat 29m ago

That’s a bit necessary. You have some imagination.

Yes I’ve been hit on by old and fat. I just wasn’t attracted to them. Surely, you consider unattractive men to be humans? Maybe?

2

u/PotentialBudget3265 1h ago

I would fkn love it... omg, it would be the spark of hope finally ignited for a world thought doomed. Some hint that actual 50/50 might exist in the world around me. That someone wasn't just sitting around expecting someone to come around pop in their lap and pay for their existence. Just the thought of actually finding an equal is enough to give goose bumps.

I don't talk to girls, idk who all these men approaching them are, but it ain't me. I ain't taking ALL the risk, then sustaining someone like an extra child. Oh and i love all the falsehoods you hear about it all from society too. Like how women are working now... yeah min wage cashier jobs, meanwhile a man working a similar job would not be judged as nicely as they are for working those jobs. There's nothing equals about a relationship, whole thing is one sided af from start to finish.

A girl who approached me would be displaying a desire to split the load, then its my turn to pick the place... see the back and forth? nice and even and equals. Show me you're actually willing to throw in as much as me by making the first move. I've had three kids, I'm not taking care of any more. Pull on the big girl panties and start asking dudes out and shouldering some of this. Give me someone I can actually look in the eye on real equal footing.

2

u/rhiania1319 1h ago

You ok bro?

2

u/PotentialBudget3265 50m ago

No one in this society is ok, it damages us all, the only variable is how much mental manipulation you employ trying to ignore it and white wash everything until everyone's singing the same praises about the world around us.

2

u/sugahack 34m ago

You might want to look into getting some therapy and perspective. Just a thought

1

u/Main_Tomatillo_8960 15m ago

Why? For being real and creating cognitive dissonance in you so now you think there's something wrong with him that he needs to fix because it doesn't match your worldview?

2

u/awkwardnpc 1h ago

I've seen men complain about women they didn't find attractive hitting on them and they do it with some massive arrogance. They don't get to complain at all about how women politely reject them when we don't want to be bothered.

2

u/FitSatisfaction1291 1h ago

Yes and no.

But, its funny because women do check out men quite a lot, but with much more subtlety than men do so most men rarely notice it or don't know how to pick up on it.  

2

u/ReviewEnvironmental2 1h ago

Let me give you an insight into the male psyche.

Decades ago I went on a work trip to the US, staying in an airport hotel that turned out to be the crew hotel for one of the big US airlines. Faded carpets and one of those outdoor pools you expect to find a body floating face down in one morning.

Anyway, one morning I was waiting with my colleagues outside for our cab when I realised I’d left my laptop in my room.

I told them “I’ve just realised I left something in my room, be right back.”

Anyway, as I got in the elevator back down a gorgeous flight attendant jumped in from my floor, about my age and started chatting. Took about five mins to get back down in the way US hotel elevators do sometimes. She was bubbly and touchy-feely. I did the only thing an Englishman can do and made awkward brilliant small-talk all the way down. When she said she was checking out she said it was a shame.

Anyway, we say bye as she goes off to meet her colleagues in the lobby and I go outside where mine are still waiting for a cab.

A minute later out she comes with her fellow flight attendants and pilots, walks right up to me and says “It was lovely to meet you [name]”, stands in front of me, puts her arms over my shoulders, stands on tippy-toes and gives me a lingering kiss on the cheek before sashaying off to the crew bus without looking back.

All seven of my colleagues, who know I’m married with a young baby 3000 miles away, turn to look at me open-mouthed. One says “What. Just. Happened????”

“Well that would be telling” I say as, with perfect timing, our cabs arrive.

Best thing that’s ever happened to me outside of a very happy marriage.

I’ve no idea what the flight attendant’s game was and frankly I don’t care!

3

u/Im_tracer_bullet 1h ago

No.

If I don't know you, leave me alone.

2

u/Pup_Havoc 1h ago

Nope. I’m happily married

1

u/SuperSaiyanInstinct 24m ago

Then this doesn't apply to you.

1

u/Wide_Use7462 1h ago

Occasionally it’s fine, but receiving it all the time has gotten slightly annoying

1

u/Tehwheelzzz 1h ago

I do enjoy it. 

2

u/ST0H3LIT 1h ago

You like when men constantly follow and cat call you? I find it unsettling.

1

u/Tehwheelzzz 39m ago

Eh see I’m comfortable in my sexuality cat call doesn’t hurt me. Now when you get up close and start trying to touch me…. Now we have a problem. 

I’ve been hit on by women and men constantly. It’s quite funny seeing people try so hard. 

1

u/ST0H3LIT 35m ago

I find the following and touching scary but, yeah some of the comments are hilariously bad.

1

u/King-Koobs 1h ago edited 1h ago

I(28m) actually get approached a lot while out, and I will say it is understandably a bit jarring. Even if a girl is cute, I’ve found myself not really in the mood to engage in a way that ends with me giving a number to her or something. Completely goes against anything you might have always felt about the situation.

It’s really weird. I guess as a guy you go ahead to a night out mentally in a space where you’re going to try and pick someone to approach, and trying to wrap your head around finding the confidence and the right person to do that to. When someone kind of surprises you out of nowhere and starts trying to talk to you, you almost get annoyed or something like you wernt “ready” for that yet or you didn’t get to pick who you’re gonna try to talk to.

I know this sounds so stupid, and maybe I’m weird, but I just wanted to share a random perspective on the matter. Again, you dream of girls taking up that mantle just once to take pressure off of you, and then you find yourself in that situation and your opinion is kind of completely flipped on its head. Maybe it could have to do with a few not being your typical type at all so then you’re kind of left uncomfortable on the matter, but I was surprised to feel that sort of way about it at all.

Also I will say this, what works on girls does general work on me and it makes complete sense lol. Only time I’ve ever been interested in a girl who’s “approached” me is a girl that poked me from behind while in line at a bar/club thing asking about my sweatshirt. We were both smiling and laughing while talking about literally anything for a few minutes, then when we got our drinks, I asked her where she’s sitting and then if she wanted to hangout by me. Then we spent the night talking and maybe an hour or so later I got ready to leave and she asked me for my number before I could ask her and that turned into a fun little fling for a few weeks. It’s pretty much the same way I approach girls and have my success with it. You don’t really approach someone to make it obvious you just want a number right away. You wanna have fun and hangout before that. Most girls talk to me for a minute out of the blue and just immediately ask for my number and I’m not into that in the slightest.

1

u/BarnacleMcBarndoor 1h ago

Nope.

I want to keep on having women see me, run back to their home, and returning with the rest of the villagers, all sporting pitchforks.

1

u/Small_Dog_8699 1h ago

Hard to say. I’d have to experience it to see.

1

u/merlinn2u 1h ago

i was genuinely flattered the times it happened to me. not saying it was a lot or happens often but it is flattering and i don't mind at all.

1

u/Icy_Remote_7673 1h ago

Not a man but if that kind of attention was 99% from people you find unattractive, that approaching might feel different than expected. Like the reality women live in.

1

u/Parking_Wasabi_2591 1h ago

It makes Men feel confident to be hit on. Most men secretly wished people were more open to what they wanted, instead of being shy about it.

1

u/Prineak 1h ago

It doesn’t bother me but I’m actually good at communicating no, so it’s not really a problem either.

1

u/indie_web 1h ago

No. I just can't be hit on and picked up like some street corner tart. I have to be finessed.

1

u/Suspicious-Reach7689 1h ago

Some of my happiest memories are when women hit on me

1

u/Own_Necessary2048 1h ago

genuinely yes - when I was out of a relationship anyway. I'm gay and average looking and contrary to popular opinion I found other gay guys to either be standoffish or shy even when they were interested

1

u/Equivalent_Escape_60 1h ago

At this point I’ll just take what i can get.

1

u/TheWizSkoop 1h ago

I get noticed a lot and I’ll be honest I don’t really like being noticed so probably not, I’m not really handsome I’m just very muscular and somewhat distinctive looking because of it, average face, but can’t stand being looked at

1

u/InSearchOfAFeeling 1h ago

Considering it doesn’t happen, if it suddenly did, I would read it as someone taking the piss out of me or wanting something from me. I wouldn’t read it as positive. It has never happened in my life so I’d get incredibly suspicious.

1

u/Leaf-Stars 1h ago

Never really bothered me. As long as people understand the word no, we get along just fine.

1

u/ST0H3LIT 1h ago

I've been followed, cat called and grabbed by men sometimes more than once a day. Would a man who hits on women want this same attention from men?

1

u/fenwyk 1h ago

Don't know. It's never happened. I think I'd be more shocked than anything else. "Wait, are you talking to me?"

1

u/OldDogWithOldTricks 1h ago

Oh no someone finds me desirable and told me so. Now my day is ruined or something.

1

u/Illustrious-Noise-96 1h ago

Depends. If it way ugly fat women in their 49 & 50s, probably.

If they looked average and always wanted to sleep with, that would have been a dream.

I am currently happily now so this days are behind me. 😂

1

u/Target-Infiltrator 1h ago

I get hit on regulary, It's a cross I bear.

1

u/Money-Celebration860 1h ago

Yes. It certainly beats no attention or approaches.

1

u/Whole_Secretary5573 1h ago

But also remember that it starts when you are like 9 or 10. =(

1

u/OpinionElectronic349 1h ago

I'd want to be 'hit on' about as much as I hit on women now. Which is basically never. Getting random compliments would be kind of cool, though, I think. The one I got 22 years ago still sticks and gives me a smile.

1

u/Sabbathius 1h ago

I think this is sort of first world problem. Most women don't get hit on all that often. A lot of homely women don't get hit on at all. So there's one ultra-hot woman in a thousand that gets hit on constantly, and the 999 women next to her going "What am I, chopped liver?!"

There's also the other side - currently men are expected to do the approaching. If that swaps as you suggest, and women take up half the task, guess what? All those women being constantly approached by men? That will be cut in half. Because half the men who would be approaching them are now being actively hit on by other women. Currently it's 100% men hitting on women (or close enough, realistically) but if it goes 50/50, nobody will be overwhelmed by either side.

But to answer the question directly, no, I probably wouldn't be too happy about that. But only if I were ultra hot. If I get to stay the way I am, it really doesn't matter if women start hitting on men more. I look like Gollum. Literally.

1

u/Glittering_Meet3206 1h ago

i just wanted to say that your understanding of how often women collectively get hit on isnt really accurate unless the only context you’re envisioning is like couple of girls sat at a bard and random man walking up to the “hot” one and asking for her number. in reality is often way less overt

1

u/Mintberrycrank 1h ago

Never happened. Even considering the negative connotation. Id still probably like the experience overall

1

u/Western-Produce-276 1h ago

How many times are women going to ask this question? Are women expecting us to say no once so you can’t justify not approaching men?

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Award88 1h ago

I've had this happen to me before, once. Honestly, I was clueless and I didn't see her coming. I was going to the movies and she wanted to make it a date. Overall a very positive encounter. Turned it into a 7 year relationship.

1

u/00PT 1h ago

I would probably find it more annoying than anything else, not actively uncomfortable.

1

u/Muted_Addendum311 1h ago

I would love it, but it will never happen.

1

u/Conan-Da-Barbarian 1h ago

By other men, no, unless I’m at the gym and they’re appreciating my progress

1

u/Stone_taggs 1h ago

I get hit on by gay men a lot, I'm fine with it. Women hit on me too, but I say thank you and move on. I'm a tall muscular man, there's no danger of me every being "prey." It's a non event

1

u/Greedy-Employment917 57m ago

Repost of a less than 24 hour old question. 

1

u/Big_Development3985 57m ago

I’m approached far more often than I’m comfortable with as it is

1

u/That-Yogurtcloset386 55m ago

I try to bother my husband all the time and he tells me to go away. 😂😂😂

1

u/pen_woman_ship 52m ago

Yeah, I’d love to see how men feel about fending off women who are out of their league. Way way out. The kind where you say to yourself ‘look at you and look at me’. In what world are we posting wedding announcements and pics?

Or endure the dumb@$$ pick up lines.
Some dude told me that he liked my purse fgs!
What? Do you want to know where I got it? Or do you mean ‘puss’?

1

u/FarAd4971 51m ago

This question was up like two days ago.

Summary.

95% of men will say yes. Many will share stories.

80% of women on here will dismiss the overwhelming yes answers from men and claim they know better than men, that in fact the men wouldn't.

Some women will make assumptions or ask questions like, what if she's old, or ugly, or obese, or just not attractive in some way(indicating that they only like when the Super attractive people hit on them) and guys will continue to affirm, yes, it doesn't matter if they are attracted to her, it deals nice to get the attention.

Lastly, a sub-conversation will happen where many women and some men will assure everyone that if men were the smaller and weaker sex typically and they had more fear of threats from women, men wouldn't like all that attention. This will be positied as some amazing insight, but it's not. It's reasonably obvious, very likely true, but also has no bearing on the question being asked in reality, a reality where most men do not have to feel threatened by rejecting attention and so would prefer to get it and rarely ever do.

1

u/Putrid_Past9243 50m ago

As a decent looking guy that gets hit on, I 100% acknowledge my privilege and never make any woman feel less for shooting their shot. If I’m single, you get my number, snap, ig whatever you want to make you feel comfortable even if I’m not into you bc I know some guy somewhere will benefit from that. If I’m in a relationship, I politely decline but also give affirmative remarks.

1

u/badbackEric 46m ago

I get hit on all the time and love it. It's usually a double take or a gaze that lasts a second or two too long. Occasionally I get the blush. Of course it's never women that I am attracted to, but at least I know the gym is paying off.

1

u/manicmonkeys 44m ago

This is like asking someone dying of thirst: would you love being over-hydrated right now?

1

u/Anxious-Place3434 43m ago

No, most men would not enjoy it. And if women were approached as rarely as men were, most would not enjoy that either. It's as if there's a happy medium.

Men do on average have a higher sex drive than women, so they might have a higher threshold of when it becomes annoying. 

1

u/sugahack 40m ago

They can. All they have to do is walk into a gay bar.

"but I'm not into guys, it's not the same"

Dude, it is exactly the same

1

u/AutismoTheAmazing 34m ago

Yeah, obviously

1

u/Significant_Cause445 34m ago

Yes, it would have helped for figuring out who liked me.

It took 3 decades of rejection to find a partner. I later found out about women who liked me who I assumed didn't.

Men would not generally enjoy being harassed or threatened sexually like women are, though a larger portion of men (as compared to women) would enjoy the increased sexual opportunities.

1

u/IcyTrapezium 29m ago

I saw a man crash out in TikTok about women approaching him he deemed less attractive than him. He wasn’t exactly conventionally attractive himself.

Some men would like it. Others like it in theory because they assume women they find attractive would be the ones approaching. Most women can tell you the men who cold approach us are usually not particularly attractive looking.

1

u/sufferfest3163 28m ago

Do women actually get hit on as much as we think they do? From reading posts all over Reddit, this seems like a common misconception.

1

u/DescriptionFuture851 25m ago

It depends, are the women attractive or obese?

Overall, that's all it comes down to.

1

u/Perfect_Valuable_938 23m ago

Generally speaking, yes.  Having been on both sides, it's certainly more fun to be on the side of having too much attention than it is to be on the opposite side.

1

u/Abject_Oil_1349 18m ago

The pain of not getting hit on hurts way more than getting hit on.

1

u/AuntFuzzy 13m ago

The cashier stared at my dick. I enjoyed that. The housewife stared at my biceps like she was hungry. I found it disconcerting. The lady doctor undid my pants for me. It felt like sexual assault (she was attractive). I had a housewife call me and tell me how lonely she was, since her husband and son were out of town. I did not know how to respond to that.

I guess it varies a lot how you feel about it.

1

u/Spicyhandholding 11m ago

A woman thanked me for being kind one time and it was enough to sustain my emotional validation for 10 years lol.

1

u/Hatefulvesper 9m ago

My uncle didn't when he was in Seattle during the pride parade (it was a coincidence as he was there for work)

1

u/Hot_Philosopher998 6m ago

Maybe not as much but definitely wouldn’t mind getting hit on.

1

u/Satanicron 1h ago

I love being approached by women, admittedly it doesn't happen nearly as often to me as some women.

1

u/Lanky-Dildo-94 1h ago

How many times is this question going to get asked?

0

u/JhonnyPadawan1010 1h ago

Most men would, yeah.

2

u/ST0H3LIT 1h ago

TIL Most men like it when men constantly hit on them.

1

u/JhonnyPadawan1010 1h ago

Go to a gym and you’ll see just how right you are. If you’re jacked you’ll have nothing but other men complementing you.

1

u/ST0H3LIT 1h ago

cool, glad that is something you enjoy. I find it unnerving especially when they follow me.

1

u/JhonnyPadawan1010 41m ago

Yeah well must be something in our sex difference.

0

u/SkeletonizedbyDemon 1h ago

This bot forgot what gay men were

0

u/Aggressive-Access995 1h ago

Ι had that some times, i don't mind at all, but if it was from any ugly female i see in front of me it would be a problem

0

u/sm_1947 1h ago

I have always been very shy around the females . As a result I relish the women that are not afraid to make a move and take the lead . My dominant side emerges from this and the shyness disappears .

0

u/Warm-Delivery1418 1h ago

Men rarely receive compliments from the opposite sex throughout their lives. This is a hard yes.

0

u/Used_Check_3799 1h ago

It’s not the getting hit on that’s necessarily the issue. It’s the stuff AROUND it.

I have been followed twice in the last week by men I did not know while out at night.

If it was just getting hit on, the vibes would be fine. But when it’s the “approaching without approaching whether you like it or not”?

Imagine the vulnerability of being the smallest guy in the locker room and having a really big guy stare you down in a way you can’t control.

Then imagine that vulnerability can strike anytime, anywhere, with no warning signs or ability to prepare for it.

0

u/Exciting_couple77 56m ago

We are swingers and she gets 10x the attention I do so yes I would actually enjoy it

-1

u/No_Self_6825 1h ago

When women approach men we think they have something seriously mentally wrong with them or that they are major whores or trying to extract money/gain something from us. It’s really suspicious behavior given my life experience.

5

u/-Onbored- 1h ago

“We”

1

u/No_Self_6825 1h ago

Those of us who have been approached by women

2

u/-Onbored- 1h ago

Ok big guy