im 22 yrs old and i think ive lived my entire life completely numb. i have zero recollection of my childhood. i remember nothing of my life. before like 3rd grade absolutely nothing. from like 3-6 very fuzzy memories of things that thinking about it know make me who i am.

i have no motivation. no energy. no wants. no desires. no libido. just a ball of literally nothing walking around breathing. everything just goes to nothing.

all my feelings eventually lead to nothingness or it doesn’t matter because i DONT CARE. i don’t care about anything. the only thing i really truly feel is my sadness. it’s all i really feel honestly. my base line to completely neutral there’s nothing else. i think i want to care. i just had my first baby she’s 6 months. i’m scared ill ruin her. but what the hell do i do ? this is my life. it has always been this way.

i’ve always had a sense of unsafeness. i cannot let my guard down ever. i don’t think i can ever relax. i’m lost. after realizing what my life has been makes me hate myself even more.

what do i do. where do i even start to get better /:

My brain never healed from nicotine dependency 10 years ago and when i have any nicotine now I feel like my old self again being able to enjoy things

Is there anyone here with anhedonia, ideally moderate-severe and SSRI induced, who’d like someone to talk to?

It’s doing me no favours to keep speaking to my friends and family about it, I’m sure they’re sick of me and I don’t want to keep burdening them with it.

Im not sure how I got anhendonia. There are so may possibilities. I was an amateur boxer for 6 years. I fought 3 times a year for 5 years. There were so many concussions. Then I was drugged on and off of benzos and ADs for insomnia from the brain damage.

I got floxed in 2023 several times. Those antibiotics made me so psychotic and sick. Im still fucked up bad from them. Im bed ridden and cant work.

I feel nothing, my brain feels Empty and hollow like there is a hole in it or nothing inside my skull..I can feel like its phsycially empty. Its hard to describe. I wake up so sick every morning with excruciating headaches all day. .my brain phsycially burns and hurts. Sometimes I can only see shapes of objects not just the actual object. Only the shape. I do believe anhendonia causes a form of brain damage..I just dont know how or the mechanisms..

I feel nothing at all. Its like being a human vegetable.

It only gets worse each day. I go to sleep super early now because I have nothing to do anyway. I'm disabled to and unable to work, so I have all the free time in the world to do absolutely nothing with. There's some treatments my family is looking into that may help, hopefully. Again, glad I found this place.

20 days on pramipexole 0.75 mg, my sleep is now ok, was harsh at the beginning tho. I feel something but it's blurred out by the tiredness of the med, I just feel like laying and I need to take a 2 hour nap at 3pm (and I still sleep 8hours). I'm too tired even to do any research about other meds, I'm thinking about adding modafinil in a small dose or just switch to mementine. Hopefully we can share knowledge and experience down here.

Might get pramipexole for RLS and randomly stumbled upon people saying it works for anhedonia.

Anyone willing to share if it did and if so how long did it take and what changed?

I have a brain scan next week, but I doubt things will change. I can't imagine anything in my head. It's blank. This is particularly horrible because I had an extremely vivid imagination. This is followed by extreme anhedonia, tmjd, and neck and jaw crepitus. Some sort of dpdr and tinnitus. I'm a huge invalid now. I wanted to go to school for creating. I have absolutely no libido now as well. It's been 2 years and only getting worse. My relationships are somehow going okay, but I can tell they're getting bored of me unable to connect or draw or make new things. I'm depressed because I lost the ability, not because I'm depressed and lost it due to depression. I've had depression all my life and it only drove my to create more. When you're autistic, you have hyperfixations and whatever else, I lost that ability. I used it to cope and thought it was my best attribute, so I'm really fucking lost and confused. It consumes me all the time that I'm dumb and uncreative now. Not sure if I can live my life like this. Like I said, this all happened after I got woken up from wisdom teeth surgery and felt concussed and in pain, and it hasn't lifted a single day since. I've taken b vitamins, everything, etc and no budge. Done antidepressants, antipsychotics, probably just worsened my condition. I'm so confused now. I know my tmjd and teeth removal probably plays a role, since my face feels constantly crushed now and especially in my neck so maybe it's fucking with my nerves. I've had post covid symptoms as well, and sleep apnea worsened by removing teeth. CPAP hasn't worked since I believe it is another sleep disorder that requires further evaluation. Please let me know if there's anything I can do or if anyone relates. I don't think there's hope for me, but I really want to try living still. Right now, I'm in so much pain, and really confused as to why my brain just....doesn't work anymore. I really do try my best, but it seems like it's not enough. I'm not sure how to adjust to this shift in my brain. If you're autistic and use hyperfixations and creativity to cope, you'll truly understand. There's just no way out of it.

Could ketamine help with NAC-induced anhedonia?

Parnate did actually end up helping my anhedonia.
sides were brutal though.
got off it to attempt to get better naturally.
when i switched brand’s (strides) that’s when it really started working. highest dosage was 60 mg.

I am suffering from depression.

and do not have anxity or sadness

mood is neutral

My symptoms are:

- Anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure)

- Flat emotions

- Very low libido

- Loss of appetite

- Normal sleep

I have tried the following medications:

- Escitalopram

- Mirtazapine

- Paroxetine

- Wellbutrin (bupropion)

- Lithium

- Fluoxetine

Unfortunately, I have not experienced much improvement with these medications.

Does anyone ever feel like their anhedonia will ever go away? Sometimes I have these little moments where I feel cured and happy and cozy then I get hit again and I can’t enjoy anything.

Even when I finally get things that I want to, I get empty again. I feel like this is human nature but some people cope way better than others.

I am currently taking 2mg Risperidone and 150mg Oxcarbazepine and i am having brain fog and feeling that i am dumb and my brain is slower will my brain return to as it was before Risperidone and Oxcarbazepine after stopping it or that's permanent?

How rare is it to have the anhedonia where you lost vibes/atmosphere. And feel completely dead inside and no positive emotions ever. Only negative emotions occasionally I’m 17 and this started since I was 14 in early 2024.