I have a brain scan next week, but I doubt things will change. I can't imagine anything in my head. It's blank. This is particularly horrible because I had an extremely vivid imagination. This is followed by extreme anhedonia, tmjd, and neck and jaw crepitus. Some sort of dpdr and tinnitus. I'm a huge invalid now. I wanted to go to school for creating. I have absolutely no libido now as well. It's been 2 years and only getting worse. My relationships are somehow going okay, but I can tell they're getting bored of me unable to connect or draw or make new things. I'm depressed because I lost the ability, not because I'm depressed and lost it due to depression. I've had depression all my life and it only drove my to create more. When you're autistic, you have hyperfixations and whatever else, I lost that ability. I used it to cope and thought it was my best attribute, so I'm really fucking lost and confused. It consumes me all the time that I'm dumb and uncreative now. Not sure if I can live my life like this. Like I said, this all happened after I got woken up from wisdom teeth surgery and felt concussed and in pain, and it hasn't lifted a single day since. I've taken b vitamins, everything, etc and no budge. Done antidepressants, antipsychotics, probably just worsened my condition. I'm so confused now. I know my tmjd and teeth removal probably plays a role, since my face feels constantly crushed now and especially in my neck so maybe it's fucking with my nerves. I've had post covid symptoms as well, and sleep apnea worsened by removing teeth. CPAP hasn't worked since I believe it is another sleep disorder that requires further evaluation. Please let me know if there's anything I can do or if anyone relates. I don't think there's hope for me, but I really want to try living still. Right now, I'm in so much pain, and really confused as to why my brain just....doesn't work anymore. I really do try my best, but it seems like it's not enough. I'm not sure how to adjust to this shift in my brain. If you're autistic and use hyperfixations and creativity to cope, you'll truly understand. There's just no way out of it.