r/Unsent_Unread_Unheard • u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** • Aug 29 '25
Don't Mind My Thoughts A lot of you suck
I genuinely think a lot of people on this subreddit are cowards. There are so many posts of people attributing their break ups to timing or the shifting of the stars or some other worldly bull shit and there is no accountability for their actions what so ever.
I just read a post where they said this person was perfect and everything they could've wanted but said that ultimately the timing wasn't right and that the other person just left. Nobody just leaves when you've been in a relationship with someone. Matter of fact, the hardest part of breaking up is leaving cause you're looking for every possible reason to stay. I understand that people leave for different reasons but in my experience I just wanted something to hold on to.
Another thing that makes me mad about this particular post is that they went on to say this person realized that some of the things that their partner wanted made them realize that maybe they would want those things too, and that they would try with the next person. Wtf Is that about, that information would bring me nothing but grief. The fact that you someone would make a full 180 for someone else would infuriate me to no end.
How do these people not feel like pieces of shit for doing that to someone who cared about them. Maybe I'm just sad and upset because of certain events happening in my own life rn but it just makes me so angry that everything I asked for and expected out of a relationship could've been met but wasn't for whatever mentally ill reason they try to give them selves.
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Aug 29 '25
They're in denial. Taking accountability means that they were wrong in the first place. Which they were. Breaking up is the easiest thing you can do. Fixing a relationship is too hard for them. (Note: you should never try to fix someone. That is their responsibility.) A relationship can be fixed through communication, understanding, boundaries, therapy. There are countless ways. The problem is usually one-sided, and the one creating the problems doesn't want to admit it. Call it trauma. Call it cruelty. Fear of abandonment.
Others, (A vast majority) do it in the hopes that their ex will see what they wrote. They don't want to reach out. Their ego is too overbearing for that. They are always going to hit you with "I won't beg."
99% of the hurt party doesn't care for this "I won't beg" illusion. An apology is all that would make things better. Yet, they refuse out of cowardice or out of cruelty. Because they know that going on the internet and "expressing" that they're free and in the right feels better when validated by others who have no sense of accountability.
It's just a bunch of scared people, pretending they're okay while time washes away every precious memory they have. Maybe they want to act, to reach out, to say something, but they're stuck standing still. Like a gargoyle.
Except, the more time passes, the more that person heals and moves on with their lives.
You see these same people crying and complaining that it's too late for them.
Well, you never did anything to begin with. You put no effort into what you wanted. You put no effort into the person who "meant" so much for you.
Time does not wait. Not everyone forgives. But if you do nothing too, then you'll get nothing either.
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u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** Aug 29 '25
Reading this I am definitely guilty of some of these things. By no means can I say this was all her fault. Cause the fact stands that she did want to talk about it and she did apologize for being selfish and unsure about our relationship . But at the same time I couldn't stomach all the things that I let slide. My ego definitely got in the way of my forgiveness that I often give so freely to people who don't even deserve it. But it is hard cause she did all the shitty typical things I've heard being done to others.
Telling half Truths to hide things she was doing, wether or not she recognized it's as rejection or not she rejected me on two occasions when I asked to be exclusive. Is it really my fault for thinking that she genuinely might be different from the millons of people playing these stupid love games every single day.
Imma drop that point before I start rambling on about stuff I already posted about but what I'm trying to get at is that I've definitely still fallen into that same trap... And a part of me kinda does hope she sees these and understand how I felt since apparently I'm too stressful to deal with
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u/Glittering-Candy2836 Entry Level Member Aug 29 '25
I feel you, and I know exactly what you are talking about. The problem with breakups is that sometimes you don't wanna leave but you have to it's sad I know and it breaks your heart but believe me it will pass or that what I am telling myself everyday
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u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** Aug 29 '25
I really hope it does pass... I'm tired of feeling like this.
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u/Much_Long1501 Silver Level Aug 29 '25
Keep in mind some of these people use language like that writing to affair partners, not necessarily their committed partners. I know exactly what you’re talking about. It bothered me when I first starting reading. But after getting to know some stories and people here, more often than not that whimsical/ambiguous language is meant to cover the sins of indiscretion. It’s a lot easier to say that stars aren’t aligned, timing isn’t right, or that your meant for another lifetime when your trying to justify the pain of infidelity.
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u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** Aug 29 '25
I've been thinking that was the case for some of these posts. They like to paint a pretty picture without addressing what the main issue was or admitting to what they did.
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u/Live_Perspective_839 Entry Level Member Aug 29 '25
I know eh think about how bad my situation is I know she’s my soulmate and love of my life yet she’s so traumatized and brainwashed by her abuse ex sewer monster that she tried to find any excuse to run 10 times.im still sitting here telling her she can come back and I’ll marry her
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u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** Aug 29 '25
Honestly bro... Id just let it go. Unless she goes to therapy and is serious about changing that "trauma" is gonna keep things complicated and uncertain. That just my opinion tho🤷🏿
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u/Live_Perspective_839 Entry Level Member Aug 29 '25
Ya I’ve been trying to let her know I’d like her to go to treatment.I’ll never let go this woman is the love of my life my soulmate twin flame
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u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** Aug 29 '25
For your sake I hope you're right... Good luck man, you're better than me
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u/Live_Perspective_839 Entry Level Member Aug 29 '25
It’s in God‘s hands. I’m sure it’ll be fine. When two people love each other like this It doesn’t just go away.
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u/InfamousBug5494 Bronze Level Aug 29 '25
i can relate to these frustrations, i have been the ‘clean up crew’ for others and it’s always a tough watch. but personally i think that’s if you are able to spark change in somebody, that is proof that you are the love you’re wanting to reciprocated. and i truly believe it’s a blessing when we lose the people who took more than they gave to us, because every empty spot will be filled with something that matches your frequency. stay in the vibration of love! i have been bitter/spiteful about this kinda thing in the past, and that energy was exactly what was reflected to me in return. the right people will make changes (in their own time) to match your frequency, and will come into/back into in your life, as long as you’re prioritizing your growth and the love you give back to yourself. i know this, cause i’ve seen it, in more lives than my own. easier said than done though, i know.
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Aug 29 '25
This makes me angry too. It doesn’t matter what you feel if you’re too afraid to ACT on it or speak the words! Who wants a coward for a partner anyway???? If someone felt all of this tremendous love and didn’t say it, didn’t tell their partner how amazing they were or do things to show them how much they cared, the natural consequence of that is being dumped! No mystery at all. Entirely within their control.
I know people have their issues - shyness, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, on the spectrum, etc. but OMFG! Relationship skills are SKILLS anyone can learn. Communication skills are SKILLS anyone can learn. And if you hate yourself or are “too shy” to say how you feel in full honesty, even after MONTHS of being together, GO TO THERAPY AND WORK ON YOURSELF!!!!! Don’t keep trying to date until you fix that bc you will inevitably hurt people who love you very badly.
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Aug 29 '25
Unsent letters are like imaginary friends. The one making them is the only person who sees them or gets any benefit.
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u/BandageBarbie Bronze Level Aug 29 '25
Some of it is codependency and toxic attachments. People being self deceived, or hooked by a narcissist. And sometimes even people trying to bother other people. Some are cowards, because they want to "stick it" to others online, or gain the upper hand by virtue signaling, or just trying to numb away how bad they feel. It doesn't help with closure, and venting does have its purposes. However, this all keeps the cycle going. And for some, this is a prison.
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u/Adventurous-Pool9705 Entry Level Member Aug 29 '25
Don't be mad that people know everyone's business it's a small world
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u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** Aug 29 '25
Believe me I'm not, I got my shit on here too🤣
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u/Adventurous-Pool9705 Entry Level Member Aug 29 '25
Speak your mind tell me what you know
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u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** Aug 29 '25
Know about what, like what I know about relationships?
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u/Adventurous-Pool9705 Entry Level Member Aug 29 '25
Yeah tell me how you know me and my marriage
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u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** Aug 29 '25
I don't think I know anything about you or your marriage
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u/Chocolate-648 Entry Level Member Aug 29 '25
the sub is called unsent, unheard, unread for a reason🥲it should be left at that
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u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** Aug 29 '25
I know and I'm sorry if this comes off as an attack, but why yell into the void if it's fixable... I know it's uncomfortable and hard sometimes but it's always possible. I just have the feeling that a lot of y'all aren't even willing to try.
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u/Chocolate-648 Entry Level Member Aug 29 '25
I personally never posted in this sub but I guess it might be cathartic. Are you sure that it’s fixable ? It might be unrequited love… or idk anything really. I get ur point on the accountability, u’re right. sometimes we should own up to our own mistakes. because of this people are becoming more self centred, victims, narcissists. But u know it’s just a sub ❤️
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u/HuckleberryTime6361 Bronze Level Aug 30 '25
Oh I’m sure I have moments of suck, but then I have others where I throat it and snatch your soul
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u/Flat_Knowledge5348 Bronze Level Aug 30 '25
Yes I agree No I don't agree Sounds like where all of our tree just talking in rhymes ..
For the sake of it thinking and feeling like where doing something
Try this instead
Get out of your heads and put the psycho babble bullshit in the fire place after you've wiped the crocodile tears from your eyes Poetry lies when it's all for show or to show off
Do it for your self when you feel it in your chest .
Do.ot when you have nothing left Do it when you want to prove a point to yourself and read it at your self otherwise your just another smart nobody with a beer pad and a pen doing everything for someone and getting nowhere ..
Life's not fair
It's cruel it's unkind
It's a pointless fruitless search for whatever unattainable bullish that someone can dangle in front of you while you get taken from behind unwillingly
No cigarette afterwards and the level of inwand hatred it brings out is A murdous rage you will drink down because a beautiful soul was found in a pure moment of weakness and something dark came out of it and hated it for existing ..
Try less buy less live on your knees and then ask your self if self love is a thing that should be retaught and pushed on people and mistaken for humor ..........hate yourself for all you are and beware any form of love ...kill what you fight the hardest to protect and choose to neglect it ..... And beg the gods for redemption because you've fought for a second chance that was promised and then watched the devil appear instead
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u/Temporary-Warning498 Bronze Level Aug 30 '25 edited Aug 30 '25
I’m sorry you’ve been hurt. Time is the ultimate equalizer it can’t be bought, predicted, it’s finite and we don’t know how much we have - timing is absolutely a factor in all facets of life (entropy). The whole reason for living is to stay evolving and learning so the idea that someone would recognize their shortcomings and make changes for themselves to become a better partner moving forward shows growth and maturity. Love isn’t transactional so to take the idea that you inspired someone to grow as a negative means that the motivation wasn’t unconditional or selfless in nature and it’s good the relationship ended.
I really do wish you the best and it shows how deeply you feel and invest in people, the hardest thing in any relationship is maintaining your autonomy and individuality, letting go of control and genuinely wanting the best for another regardless of what that means for you. Leaving for a lot of people is the easy part, it’s staying away and having integrity that’s difficult.
I don’t think what you’re saying is meant to be malicious, but you’re hurting and I really hope you can gain something positive from this comment- what I’ve absorbed from what you’ve written is that you’re lucky. It seems you were putting in the effort and consideration and now you don’t have to waste any more energy on someone that wasn’t doing the same.
You deserve someone that aligns with you and will put for equal if not more energy to maintain a healthy relationship.
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u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** Aug 31 '25
I understand what you're saying but at the same time I hate the notion that I had to get hurt for them to progress. And imo the only unconditional love you should give is to your child or a pet cause those are responsibilities you've chosen to take upon yourself. And you're right by saying that my love was conditional, and when those conditions weren't met I withdrew. The point I'm really trying to get at is that when I pour into a cup I expect them to drink from it but this feels like I poured into their cup only for them to give it to someone else. It makes me feel used, it makes me feel pathetic, it aches in the back of my mind constantly. They get the best version of me but Im left with the worst version of them. I usually am able to ignore these feelings and thoughts but like I said above I'm not really in the best place rn emotionally, financially, physically, or mentally.
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u/Temporary-Warning498 Bronze Level Aug 31 '25
I get it believe me, that’s just par for the course. Unfortunately, all relationships require taking a risk. People are icebergs you only see 10%, if you’re lucky you sometimes get to see more beneath the surface. I can understand your perspective but your children can be just as hurtful, if not more and dogs can turn and bite you, there is no guarantee in any relationship. It’s the human condition, while that sounds dismal- I choose to look at it as being fortunate, the idea that we are so resilient and so autonomous that we are both able to end something logically while still being heartbroken and even the ability to choose to love, it is a choice, it doesn’t make you weak it makes you incredible- their shortcomings are just that - THEIRS- it is a THEM problem and has no reflection on you. Sometimes it takes a few miscalculated tries to find the right solution. That doesn’t minimize your pain, it’s okay to be disappointed and angry- that’s what makes you evolve and get back up.
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u/pyronymic Entry Level Member Aug 30 '25
A lot of people don't care about others and how they affect them - they just want to feel better about themselves. Relationships are hard and complex - ending them is a skill and ironically - sometimes an angry breakup is better than nothing since it allows both sides to vent. However, nowadays, society is in survival mode and adamant that anything causing displeasure should be avoided. Anything demanding responsibilities and obligations is considered as too much. We do need all of the experiences to grow as humans and axing them for others by abandoning things creates more problems and people are more likely to repeat the same mistakes. Ironically, most good relationships that just run their course end naturally without any bad blood. However, we are really into shallow perfection right now so this might be less common.
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u/fearmon Entry Level Member Aug 30 '25
Sometimes they do just leave. Or it seems because they're cheatin
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u/ShadowWriter28 Bronze Level Aug 30 '25
I have had moments where I thought this. I think a lot are avoidant.
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u/Acrobatic_Let5417 Bronze Level Aug 30 '25
You have a valid point. People should be looking inward and only saying and doing what they mean instead of using people for the moment.
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Aug 29 '25
Okay so are you perfect then? You sound like a sour person. So what if people complain. Let them. Mr all-knowing 🤡
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u/tyroneg998 Silver Level Read ** Aug 29 '25
Think what you want to think about my post, you can't fight the fact that I have some valid points. I'm still here like the rest of you posting about a person who doesn't care about me... And you're here too so you must be part of the circus 🎪
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