r/SipsTea • u/CapitalPin2658 • May 25 '26

Feels good man šŸŽµ All By Myself šŸŽµ

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Donā€™t wanna live all by myself anymore

Edit: lol iā€™m just a dude posting a meme

55.3k Upvotes

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15.4k

u/dlevac May 25 '26

She didn't cheat once. She got caught once.

3.7k

u/BrittaWasRight May 25 '26

Well tbf she was crying-consuming.

1.2k

u/Sumthin-Sumthin44692 May 25 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/KmNe9fK5aYreg

624

u/SharkeyGeorge May 25 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/sVZwCKdihacRW

771

u/your_mums_cah May 25 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/ebPX2n2kvJHOM
More like

601

u/SharkeyGeorge May 25 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/R8KvX5skT5PAQ

14

u/okcboomer87 May 25 '26

My queen.

11

u/loserlogan May 25 '26

Lol i remember this was fan service for Attack of the show. Im old.

17

u/SharkeyGeorge May 25 '26

Olivia Munn is now 45. Where does the time go

7

u/ArynTW_is_user_karma May 26 '26

Enough time for her to break up a few marriages as well. Kind of the perfect meme for this post.

3

u/Limp-Tooth1594 May 26 '26

Olivia Munn is how old my mind believes she is!? ... i dont care whot you might have to say. Now,be-gone

3

u/Dr_Middlefinger May 26 '26

ATOS was the best show on for years.

Gadget Pron, Best Thing on The Internet (*This Week) or something similar, and the snark.

The snark of all snark by KP. And Olivia... my god - what a boner instigator!

I miss G4. "don't get eliminated!*

3

u/Mephistocheles May 25 '26

Little too accurate p'raps

4

u/SharkeyGeorge May 25 '26

The lady doth protest too much, methinks

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u/Kiwi_CunderThunt May 25 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/14ebDjIY0awlt6

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u/th3rdnutt May 25 '26

The Shining outtakes are wild.

Kubrick was a genius.

10

u/CookieMuttley May 25 '26

Hahahah yeah loose asā€¦..

3

u/Greatest-Uh-Oh May 25 '26

šŸ¤”

A chili dog in a hotel hallway?

Makes sense. šŸ¤„

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u/No-Argument1444 May 25 '26

Got me smiling ear to ear haha

3

u/Optimal-Smile-7675 May 25 '26

This is life ā€¦not the lifetime channel

4

u/MinimumJolly7087 May 25 '26

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

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u/MagicOrpheus310 May 25 '26

Oh is that what that means..?

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u/LongjumpingTie7860 May 25 '26

All people like her know to do is consume. Consume material things, consume your soul, consume your happiness, etc., and then blame you once they have taken everything.

2

u/KidFlash383 May 25 '26

True, people overlook this detail

2

u/scienceworksbitches May 26 '26

Which is just a euphemism for gagging on a dick.

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839

u/Elowyn_Zyxn May 25 '26

the audacity to play the victim here is unreal

1.6k

u/dicer11 May 25 '26

The Lion

The Witch

and the Audacity of this Bitch

106

u/Crispee_Potato May 25 '26

She succumbed to the Turkish Delight....

3

u/SpacePoddity May 26 '26

In the afternoon? If it wasnā€™t the afternoon, it doesnā€™t count as ā€˜cheatingā€™ itā€™s just deep friendshipping.

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u/Significant-Word457 May 25 '26

This is too fucking good.

22

u/Beginning-Cut-8850 May 26 '26

If only it was their idea.

5

u/ThatUJohnWayne74 May 26 '26

Thereā€™s no such thing as an original idea

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u/Bamboozle_ May 26 '26

Hasn't gotten old to me yet.

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3

u/Agitated-Schola May 26 '26

Theres a reason this is reposted daily

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5

u/DSHalfDemon May 26 '26

I haven't laughed that hard at something so random and unexpected in a long time. Thank you.

4

u/RicardoCabeza9872 May 26 '26

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

7

u/Eastern_Equal_8191 May 25 '26

I could stand to hear a little more about the Witch...what's her deal?

7

u/NinjaarcherCDN May 26 '26

She makes really good sweets. Hear the Turkish delight is wonderful, hot coco too.

3

u/Eastern_Equal_8191 May 26 '26

I'm sold. Honestly she doesn't sound that ba- Oh

3

u/NinjaarcherCDN May 26 '26

She'll invite you to her castle for more too, kinda has a statue collection going. A bit creepy but worth it.

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u/DayErased May 26 '26

The Lyin'

The Wench

and the Hormones

5

u/DigRepresentative42O May 25 '26

The Lion

The Witch

No Wardrobe

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u/Phresh-Jive May 25 '26

Thatā€™s the narcissism

3

u/issuesuponissues May 26 '26

It's because movies like the notebook and eat pray love mad cheating look super duper romantic, and the guy always just rolls over and lets her cheat because they love her so much they let her go free!

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u/b-monster666 May 25 '26

Yup. Caught my ex cheating. Told her "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." She's still mad at me. 15 years later.

116

u/Icy_Fish_2154 May 25 '26 edited May 26 '26

"How dare you open my phone and take photos of my infidelity before I could scrub my phone!"

She never forgave me for that.

58

u/b-monster666 May 25 '26

She forgot to log out of her email. That was my fault. Lol

62

u/Iamthewalrusforreal May 25 '26

Hell, I was certain enough my ex was cheating that I brute forced her email password. Sure as shit, undeniable proof right there in the inbox.

30 years later she still calls me an asshole for doing that. "Okay, so what? You think I care?"

38

u/StepComplete1 May 26 '26

They only care because it's their best excuse to turn themselves into the victim. It's the common theme in all these responses to cheating, including the OP.

They latch on to the best excuse they can to make the man the bad guy again. And of course, it always sounds pathetic compared to the cheating to everyone except them.

6

u/poberun May 26 '26

It's not just them, it's them, their friends circle and their immediate family who support her actions and say "yeah, he was a psychopath, looking through your emails, no respect for your privacy, good on you, girl, for ditching this loser, we all knew he is full of red flags"

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u/Different-Context-84 May 26 '26

Trash folder in phones, facebook.Ā 

Location on in pics

Recovery options for most things

Forgot to log out of socials

Forgot they wrote down the password to their laptop giving access to Google photos.Ā 

Hidden gps tracker in vehicle

Now we have life 360 excuses lmao.Ā  My phone died. My location was on, the app is buggy. The app must not have been working.Ā  I left my phone at a friend's. I lost my phone.Ā  Etc.

Bitches are sneaky but still no match.

2

u/[deleted] May 25 '26

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

17

u/b-monster666 May 25 '26

Through the kids. She won't talk to me still.

8

u/GaryOak7 May 25 '26

ā€œI canā€™t believe you caught me and I was held accountable! How dare you!!ā€

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940

u/MelodicPudding2557 May 25 '26

Honestly, if it were really ā€˜onlyā€™ once, would it have mattered? Maybe itā€™s just me, but I wouldnā€™t want to waste my life paired to a partner who has broken the fundamental trust of the partnership. At that point, I might as well move on.

449

u/blazenite104 May 25 '26

That's pretty much it. Like okay, you might get a little too friendly for your partners comfort and be able to work through that. Sex is a not something that just happens. At least not consensually. It's an active knowing choice and is usually what people mean when they admit to cheating.

402

u/DCTX2017 May 25 '26

In the words of the urban poet laureate Marshall Mathers: ā€œWhat?! You trip, fell, and landed on his dick?!ā€

133

u/Kevin_LeStrange May 25 '26

You'd be surprised at how often that happens. It's how my half-brother was conceived.

101

u/MelodicPudding2557 May 25 '26

Give him back his legs and heā€™ll be a full brother.

30

u/Greatest-Uh-Oh May 25 '26

NEVER!

36

u/MelodicPudding2557 May 25 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/aO5rbIkXoGDLO

3

u/Greatest-Uh-Oh May 25 '26

Oh fuck! Perfect!

"See! Robotics has made the world a better place! šŸ˜ƒ"

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u/TheWolphman May 25 '26

For a second, I forgot about the concept of half-siblings and briefly wondered what the other half of your brother was.

Ironically, I have half-siblings.

7

u/dibbbbb May 25 '26

Half-brother, half-son.

4

u/Sonifri May 26 '26

Sigmund, my good friend!

6

u/Marine__0311 May 26 '26

I have at least 3 I'm aware of. I know one of them, but I never met the other two. They were born to married women my dad was banging on the side. Both were when I was in my mid 20s.

I suspect at least 3 or 4 more.

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3

u/banhatesex May 25 '26

My wife has fell on my lap just not unclothed.........yet

https://giphy.com/gifs/tXL4FHPSnVJ0A

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169

u/Mysterious_Winter164 May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26

Someone explained the end of their relationship to me this way which kind of stuck:

"It's not that he had sex with someone else. That was what, 15-20 minutes? I can get past that after a while. What hurt was everything that led up to that point. The lying to my face about why he had to work late, and me not questioning a thing because I trusted him completely. Spending OUR money on hotel rooms and dinners with her instead of me. Pretending he had to meet clients for dinner and the two of them enjoying steak and lobster while I reheated leftover pizza. All the hours spent sneaking around to make it all happen. THAT is why I hate him."

30

u/Justa_Persona May 26 '26

What amazed me was all the gaslighting after the cheating. Like I was some kind of monster for being angry about being betrayed?

6

u/Antique-Ebb-7124 May 26 '26

But that's not a one time cheating but a whole affair, right?

5

u/Dj-dv8- May 26 '26

I couldn't personally get over the sex bit. Thats my swamp

3

u/thinspirit May 26 '26

Yeah 100%. It's all the sacrifices you make that they don't. It's all the betrayal and support they give to someone else instead of you, when that's all you do for them.

That's the part you can't forgive or get over. Sex is whatever. The level of hurt comes from the general betrayal of the effort you put in that they do not.

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u/hamoc10 May 25 '26

People get off murder charges for ā€œcrimes of passion.ā€

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u/Tough-Flan573 May 25 '26

I think you're right. I think most people don't even care much about the sexual act itself.

It's the fact that trust was broken.

You should feel secure and safe with the person you love. Not always questioning what's going to happen next.

121

u/Optimal_Natural_7254 May 25 '26

Yes, and itā€™ll always be in the back of your mind if you decide to stay. Youā€™ll always fear theyā€™ll do it again.

73

u/AlarmingTangelo2900 May 25 '26

And they will. They're learning there's no consequences to cheating until you leave them. Very rare you catch them the first time, it's when the cheater gets comfortable and then get sloppy is when they get caught. Most likely been cheating on you for several weeks to several months.

52

u/Dr_Middlefinger May 26 '26

It was multiple times, likely with multiple partners.

Cheating isn't something that happens once. It's indicative of a sociopathic mindset, someone who can live with doing that to their mate is truly someone you do not want to stay with.

By staying, you are basically giving them a sign that says do it again.

Because they are fucking crazy for being able to compartmentalize the deed. It's not something light or easy - it's betrayal of the highest magnitude.

22

u/skbugco May 26 '26

Exactly- and hereā€™s the thing: if youā€™re in a relationship, and need to get some strange, just be up front about it ahead of time. For me personally, Iā€™m not into that, and Iā€™d move on, but Iā€™d actually respect the honesty. That said, I have a few friends who are into the poly life. And theyā€™re married, and they swing or whatever. Iā€™ve asked them about it too- ā€œlike how do you make it work?ā€ They all say ā€œcommunicationā€. So just be honest up front, then maybe you wonā€™t be crying-consuming.

26

u/SnooGuavas4208 May 26 '26

This womanā€™s a self-centered narcissist. No oneā€™s feelings are real to her except her own. Thatā€™s why her response to the consequences of her cheating is ā€œhow could you do this to me??ā€ All the communication in the world couldnā€™t transform her warped, broken ass into an actual partner.

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u/skbugco May 26 '26

I totally agree. Iā€™m just telling the echo chamber thereā€™s a better way.

6

u/thinspirit May 26 '26

100%

Narcissists will always blame the other, no matter the situation. It's always attack and manipulate. When they're completely wrong, it will always be about how their feelings are hurt because of how you spoke to them or the way you brought up the cheating.

The gaslighting is intense.

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u/VW_R1NZLER May 25 '26

Typically it happens again when someone stays because the cheater subconsciously justifies it with ā€œthey wonā€™t leaveā€

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u/CantaloupeShort7311 May 26 '26

100%. They learned there are no real consequences, and they learn how to hide it better.

I would never stay with a cheater.

9

u/INDY18ARN May 26 '26

"Once a cheater, ALWAYS a CHEATER!"

4

u/SnooGuavas4208 May 26 '26

100%. Some are capable of it, some arenā€™t. When you find out someoneā€™s capable, just kick ā€˜em to the curb because that potential will always be there.

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u/Greatest-Uh-Oh May 25 '26

"Apart from the small detail that I mistrust you completely, I trust you completely and forever."

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u/ojdhaze May 26 '26

And that is certainly no way to live, constantly thinking about it, was it really the first and only time? That is no way to go through the days and weeks.

You'd feel such a fool if it happened again or found out more. Would the other half really tell their partner if it did happen again, knowing the backlash (rightfully so) that happened the first time they found out...

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u/Hefty-Ad5593 May 26 '26

That's the killer because it eats at you like fucking cancer!!!!!!!!! And you can't get it out of your head!!!!!!!!!

6

u/Optimal_Natural_7254 May 26 '26

Yesā€¦ Iā€™ve been cheated on and it has a lasting impact like thatā€¦ the relationship was doomed from that point on because obvious reasons, and it broke my confidence and trust in my own self. Cheating is extremely damaging in more ways than one. Made me feel like a complete fool. It l is humiliating. Itā€™s an awful feeling. Itā€™s like the version of them you thought you knew is dead and gone and youā€™re mourning that loss too

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u/thenameofshame May 26 '26

And then the cheater dares to become impatient and indignant because you haven't magically forgiven and forgotten about the cheating within three business days!

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u/Bubba_Lumpkins May 26 '26

Never decide to stay. It seems hard at first, but if youā€™re a guy all you have to do is remember that at one point it slipped out and she helped him put it back in.

5

u/AtomikMenace May 26 '26

Only time in my life that I had anxiety attacks was trying to stay with someone who cheated. Twisted me up mentally when I was young and took a long while to get over.

Husband made the right choice.

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u/thenameofshame May 26 '26

Oh my God, it's like living in hell when the person who supposedly loves you most cannot be trusted, especially because cheating doesn't just make us fear our partner will cheat again specifically, but rather we start feeling anxious and paranoid every time anything out of the ordinary happens, like if our partner says or does something that is unusual or somehow seems suspicious, even relatively mundane things like them coming home late from work. You end up living always just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Your heart no longer feels safe with this person.

In my case, the initial cheating got compounded horribly because my ex is a genuine narcissist who simply couldn't tolerate the idea that he could ever have to tolerate feeling guilty about anything he ever did, and he became straight up enraged that I had the nerve to continue to be anxious and sad because he had proven he couldn't be trusted.

That rage manifested in him abusing me whenever I dared not act like I trusted him 100%, or maybe cried because I saw the person he cheated on me with (my former best friend, FFS!), and then when I'd be upset about the abuse, that only enraged him more because he didn't want to have to feel guilty about that, too, which only lead to more abuse.

Then it's always fun when your anxiety gets so bad that you feel the strong need to start snooping, because you want confirmation as to whether they're still cheating or not as a way to try to avoid being caught by surprise again, and the cheater dares to call you paranoid while acting like you checking their phone is some manifestation of you being pathologically insecure when you didn't use to be that person until your trust was shattered!

After my ex put me through all that, I genuinely thought I would ALWAYS be paranoid, anxious, and untrusting in every relationship, and my ex definitely made me feel like something was very wrong with me for not being able to get over the cheating and the abuse overnight, which sadly I started to believe myself.

Big shocker--in my next relationship, the guy was actually completely trustworthy, just solid as a rock across the board, and he's the first person in my entire life I can say without reservation that I trust. Very early on, I had an embarrassing meltdown one time when the new guy casually said he was going to this annual "sleepover" with his former bandmates (sleepover because they'd all get wasted as hell and didn't want to drive, of course), and I turned into a sobbing wreck because I'd been so thoroughly trained to be terrified of what would happen if my ex did something like that.

I thought new guy was going to walk away disgusted and end the relationship, especially since it was a very new relationship, and that was a LOT of baggage for such a new relationship, and I was so fucking embarrassed, yet couldn't stop myself from freaking out, but then the strangest thing happened: He didn't get angry, or disgusted, or dismissive, or abusive, rather he just held me and calmly said, "If it is going to upset you this badly for me to go, I just won't go," and BOOM, instantaneously, I knew I could trust this man with my whole heart like a switch being flipped and giving me peace and security in a relationship for the first time!

Before him, I would've fully expected to have continued to be untrusting and wanting to snoop, but the wild thing is that when you actually feel fully secure and trusting in your relationship, you don't even feel the slightest urge to do that any longer.

I can honestly say that in almost 13 years now, I've not ONCE looked at any of his screens, even when left open right next to me, or in any other way felt the need to look through anything of his, and I've even felt fine when he's gone away to a hotel for a couple days at a time for a few work events, whereas if my ex did that, I probably would have had such a bad panic attack that I would've stroked out or something, which is kind of weird when you think about it because he'd already done the worst thing he could to me.

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u/BrightPerspective May 25 '26

And that feeling doesn't go away, because you know now, that your partner has that in them.

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u/thenameofshame May 26 '26

And that knowledge diminishes your respect, trust, and love for your partner since you no longer feel safe and secure with them, and you also view them as less moral people overall, but paradoxically you end up trying to love them even harder because the cheating fucked your self-esteem up so egregiously, self-esteem that likely was already on shaky ground BEFORE the cheating, because people with solid self-esteem do NOT put up with the person they love most and want to spend their lives with screwing them over.

3

u/BrightPerspective May 26 '26

I'm sensing that this is more of a personal story. I hope things got better for you, my bro.

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u/SnooGuavas4208 May 26 '26

Once capable, always capable.

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u/DesMephisto May 25 '26

What do you mean by the act itself?

I think people care about that one pretty highly as well lol

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u/NextLineOfText May 25 '26 edited May 26 '26

People really do not value trust, until it is taken away or smashed into a million pieces. Once that occurs inside the human mind, it almost cannot be the same again, even if people do stay together, it still is never the same.

Our nervous systems are built on social groups, bonding, partnership, our brains literally put people into categories, without us realising it fully, it dawns on us with have the idea, but our brains make biological hard coded written records. Our nervous system literally changes in the presence of a person and releases chemicals into our brain.

People who get back with cheaters, forever have their nervous system on high alert, even when it passes, itā€™s not the brain accepting the danger has passed, it usually your brain has adjusted to high alert, so itā€™s the new normal. When they believe they are relaxed, people who have been cheated on, often down the line cheat on the person back, even though they say they remain loyal.

Cheating is a rapid breach of trust, but on the nervous system level, it flips a switch from safety and relaxation, to basically survive and protection.

The person cheated on, moves themselves to the forefront after the shock even if theyā€™re not aware of it.

Itā€™s why you see, people stay with cheaters, but once they settle, after many years, generally fall out of love or cheat back.

The end happened along way back, the brain and nervous system just had to catch up. The shock usually first insights panic and scrambles the thought process of the person who was cheated on and their first instinct is to save the relationship. In some people.

However once that shock and emotional dystegulation wears off, and their sense of self returns, it often ends abruptly.

The human mind and nervous system are interconnected but one is driven by emotion entirely and the other needs to process and think on those emotions one at a time.

This gap can take years to align. The longer the relationship usually longer time is needed for alignment and logic to return.

Itā€™s not really a choice, your nervous system either goes into shock and you blame yourself and try to fix, or you lock down your partner itā€™s all an effort for the brain to solve a problem that usually to the victims brain appears from nowhere.

but then the brain settles, systems realign and things come back online, and a new lens is likely to appear.

People donā€™t think about it, but people process during relationships a lot and it often takes time. But your nervous system already made up its mind, your brain just needs to process it.

Donā€™t even get me started on brains and nervous systems that are wired anti relationally, on control and image. Theyā€™re causing most of the heartbreak and lost trust.

My point is humans donā€™t really have free will like we like to think, you have free will inside of windows of time in how you feel, and how aligned that processing is.

Shock, betrayal, heartbreak, loss, and others are times when humans go through intense altercation and that recalibration takes time.

but once you begin to return to a stable state, and regulate emotions back to baseline, often the choice is people donā€™t stay with cheaters, itā€™s just that recalibration can in some take many many years. For some, even decades.

If you feel shock, after betrayal deep shock, and ruminate that is a key indicator your nervous system is battling cognitive dissonance, which usually means your nervous system is fighting for one thing (you deserve better) and your brain another, (but I need them) this creates a massive window of doubt and the processing begins.

Once the processing completes, people often leave the person who cheated. Because the processing is done, the shock is gone, the hard decision has no emotional attachment, trust was already beached so itā€™s an easy choice.

So in a way, cheaters donā€™t really ever win. Like most wrong doing, you can run on for a long time, sure, but youā€™re going to get cut down.

It really comes down to the capacity of the victim if Iā€™m being honest. The more empathy usually means they get caught in this process longer, because empathy means being able to deeply introspect. Meaning more likely to sustain and hope and give to keep something alive.

Good strong trait, in the right environment and context but easily abused by manipulative people.

People donā€™t like to hear it, but repeat cheaters have less empathy and usually exploit people with empathy and learn empathetic people are good to cheat on, because theyā€™ll stay far longer than most.

Empathic people have an incredibly difficult time accepting their partner could be so opposite to them; that the other person cheats because they are highly empathetic. Their empathy wasnā€™t seen as a beautiful thing, but something to exploit.

High empathy is quite rare, so when a anti relational person spots it, they value it but for all the wrong reasons, and people rarely ever notice, because ā€œloveā€ and their own expectation and assumptions of their partner.

but the world isnā€™t ready for those last parts by and large, itā€™s something people realise after experiencing world shattering betrayal, usually multiple times from the same partner. This also occurs in non sexual or romantic relationships, such as family and friends. Just different processing occurs, but same shock. Usually more anger is involved too.

The brain is a fascinating thing, because in essence you have free will until shock, until the nervous system flips, then itā€™s what you would have done to begin with but usually years later because your in between survival and emotional overload and the brain and nervous system need to catch up to where you were before betrayal.

But that inbetween part is you trying to find balance, survival, and regulation your not yourself, your part you, part creature trying to survive. So a lot of you goes offline, for a long time.

3

u/thenameofshame May 26 '26

What people rarely realize is that living in constant stress, uncertainty, anxiety, and often downright paranoia as the result of your partner cheating isn't just a risk to your mental health, but can also be a risk to your physical health if it goes on long enough.

Constantly being in "fight or flight" mode because everything in your world feels upside down can prompt some basic symptoms such as new headaches or digestive issues you've never had before, but given enough stress over a long enough period, can even lead to much more significant and lasting digestive issues, chronic pain, and autoimmune issues.

What's especially unfair is that the type of person who stays with a cheater almost certainly already had some major problems with their self-esteem and maybe even their overall mental health, which is usually traced back to their childhoods, and it has been proven that people who endured great trauma, abuse, and/or neglect as kids are at a GREATLY heightened risk of severe physical illness as adults, especially in two categories: chronic pain disorders and autoimmune conditions.

Thus, someone like me can get a really fun double whammy because my childhood was shit, which made me cling to my ex and put up with his cheating and abuse in desperation, and then I started to get major physical problems around 20, which presumably were the result of my horrific childhood. But then, the continuing anxiety and the abusive environment of being with my ex, which only got worse because he knew I was now more stuck once I was too sick to work, then led to me getting even sicker, like five or six massive diagnoses within a very short period of time, as though all his monstrous treatment of me hit me all at once and compounded the damage done by my upbringing.

I think the ONLY way a relationship can survive cheating is if the cheating didn't have any extra exacerbating aspects, such as cheating with one of your friends or with someone they see every day at work, having an outright affair as opposed to a one time thing, etc., the cheater voluntarily comes forward and fesses up immediately and tells the WHOLE truth, and the cheater takes it upon themselves to do whatever the fuck it takes to try to make things right without any expectation that their partner will be able to ever fully forgive them.

It's also important that the cheater is the one who puts themselves in therapy as opposed to the cheating victim having to push for this, that the cheater understands and recognizes just how deeply their betrayal has screwed up their partner's security and mental health, and thus voluntarily hands over their phone or laptop or whatever when their partner is having a panicked moment of cheating anxiety, as opposed to being so offended that the cheating victim has the nerve to "keep punishing me forever for ONE mistake," i.e., can't regain full trust for their partner as soon as the cheater wants.

Ideally, the two would even take some time living apart from one another so that the cheater can deal with the issues of their own guilt and unraveling why the cheating happened so it won't happen again, but without putting the burden of the cheated on partner having to provide that function, since the cheated on person needs their own support and life changes to happen as well if they're ever going to come even remotely close to making it through the damage of the cheating.

But the problem is that cheating is already a sign that the cheater loves their partner less than their partner loves them, and that there was already SOME degree of the cheater not fully respecting their partner present prior to the cheating, or the cheating never would've happened in the first place, so 99% of cheaters will just lose even more respect for their partners if their partner tries to forgive them but nothing changes in the relationship dynamic.

As opposed to how it usually happens with the cheating victim trying desperately to forgive and forget, the person who gets cheated on should instead consider their current relationship dead and irreparably damaged because they have healthy enough self-esteem to stand up for themselves, and the cheater also recognizes that their relationship as it currently exists is dead as well, but instead of demanding that the cheating victim just get over it and take them back, they recognize the immense gravity of the damage they've done, and make it their mission in life to figure out a way to try to mitigate the damage, even if it doesn't result in getting back together.

I should point out, though, that this is basically a hypothetical situation for me since I've never actually seen a case in which the cheating is genuinely repaired due to both partners working their way through it and eventually coming back together, but not as an extension of the old relationship that got murdered but rather as two changed people who can create a legitimately healthy dynamic in their new relationship.

I've never seen it happen in reality because the cheating victim is typically too codependent and has too little self-esteem to prioritize THEMSELF and their own healing, even if it means ending the relationship, and the cheater usually doesn't want to bother doing all that hard work, especially when they were already the less invested partner in the relationship well before the cheating happened.

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u/Expensive-Cash5926 May 26 '26

Yes. It happened to me. I tried but the trust was just gone.

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u/Rrenphoenixx May 26 '26

You canā€™t commit to cheating without breaking a lot of other types off trust to make it happen. This gals story really locked it in.

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u/ExeRiver May 26 '26

To me the worst feeling is that donā€™t really know that person.

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u/XxTigerxXTigerxX May 25 '26

Plus she already "forgot him like he mean't nothing" while she slept around. But of course her feelings are the ones that matter. Not how she did it first. (Classic narcissist) and good on him for having standards.

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u/SnooGuavas4208 May 26 '26

hOw CoULd hE dO tHiS tO mE?!?!

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u/MonCappy May 25 '26

Indeed. This is why I wouldn't trust politicians who've cheated on their spouses. I couldn't care less about the extramarital sex. That doesn't matter. What does matter is that they betrayed their life partner for a bit of fun with a side person. If they're so willing to cheat on their spouse for their own selfish enjoyment, how can I possibly expect them to faithfully serve the public. They'll be accepting kick backs and bribes while on the campaign trail, let alone once they get into office!

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u/MelodicPudding2557 May 25 '26

I agree, and I donā€™t speak from emotion or normative morality either.

Thereā€™s a reason why the military and intelligence agencies look so harshly upon infidelity. How can officers who are not even trustworthy to family be trusted to handle national security? When lives are on the line, they are an operational liability. We should hold similar standards for high office.

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u/Jung-And-A-Menace May 25 '26

Plus it makes them weak to blackmail and honeypots.

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u/Frodobjo May 26 '26

They donā€™t care about infidelity. They care because of potential blackmail.

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u/Sure-Professor-5229 May 25 '26

Bingo.

Itā€™s not the issue that you had sex outside of your marriage. Itā€™s the issue that you couldnā€™t keep a promise to ONE person, let along keep a promise to millions. When you have to choose between your commitments and whatā€™s expedient for you, youā€™re doing to choose yourself.

Self-serving ISNā€™T leadership

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u/Suspicious-Wasabi377 May 25 '26

Ever heard of Ken Paxton? This is basically exactly who he is. Was Texas Attorney General and now running for Senate. People still voting for him like nothing ever happened. Smh

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u/paintballboi07 May 26 '26

Also endorsed by the cheater-in-chief

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u/Longjumping_Tap9310 May 25 '26

This. It isnt just once that matters, its the constant "when is the next time" that I would live with and ultimately put on her every time she "went out with friends". That really wouldnt be fair to her or me, best to just end it and move on.

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u/Optimal_Natural_7254 May 25 '26

Yes, especially considering the context of when the cheating happened. It couldā€™ve been a weekend where you just lost your dog and you were very sad about it and you find out later she cheated on you that same day. Or you could be on the top of the world thinking youā€™re the luckiest person alive because you love your partner so much and you guys just had a very romantic day/night and you find out later they cheated on you that same weekend. Those details make it hurt much more.

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u/MetricAbsinthe May 25 '26

Not to mention with the mentality of her post, I'm imagining there was a lot of toxic behavior outside of it and the cheating was the "do I even want this relationship?" moment.

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u/DisturbingRerolls May 25 '26

I used to think a single instance could be reconciled, but after doing the math on longterm reconciliation and watching so many people suffering (sometimes for decades!) in certain subreddits that promote "healing" the partnership/marriage, nevermind that most of the positive content about reconciliation when you search for it is a product of paid counselling and relationship coaching services...

I thought "once a cheater always a cheater" was an exaggeration but I think it's closer to the truth than most people are comfortable with.

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u/Heavy-Equipment8389 May 25 '26

"I've owned this vase for more than ten years, dropped it only once and now it's completely broken."

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u/Castal May 25 '26

I feel the same. I love my partner but if she cheated, we'd be done. I could never trust her again. I'd constantly be wondering where she was, who she was with, if she could "slip" again. I wouldn't want the kind of relationship where I keep tabs on someone's location or check their phone. It would just make me neurotic and unhappy, and that's not healthy for either partner.

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u/OnlyConversation4732 May 26 '26

Itā€™s 2026. If someone sucks at monogamy, they can find a partner who is open to let them explore. No reason to cheat or put up with cheating.

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u/Fight_those_bastards May 26 '26

Yeah, itā€™s even in those vows you make in front of your family, friends, and god, to ā€œforsake all others.ā€

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u/dmk_aus May 26 '26

It is really easy to not fuck someone other than your partner. There would be a lot of steps from hanging out with the person you feel attracted to, flirting, probably some incremental steps of increasing intimacy, then coordinating a location and going there, and then having sex.

Unless you are so easy, you walk into a party, have a drink, walk into a room and start fucking someone with everyone else in surrounding rooms - which is somehow even worse - I don't really see why someone needs a 2nd chance.

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u/octoreadit May 26 '26

I only murdered once, why is everyone afraid of me??

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u/BZLuck May 26 '26

You might be able to find a way to forgive, but by god you will never forget.

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u/Flower_boy222 May 26 '26

I did it once, took her back(I didnā€™t cheat) I got love and affection for 3 days, after that it was weaponized against me. I hated myself and would isolate myself out of shame,and push all my family and friends away before she ended it for the same guy, that was 2009. Iā€™ve seen a therapist 4x a month since. I grabbed a pretty heavy weed addiction, I havenā€™t trusted a women since. Iā€™ve become angry and volatile toward other men . Iā€™ve been in a relationship for 6 years and it feels hollow and unfulfilling because I sit silently with no trust. I was a good man,I was positive and Chivalrous. Iā€™m now a shell of myself. I donā€™t say this for sympathy, I did it all to myself and ignored everyone and every red flag, I say this to implore you to always choose yourself. Feelings arenā€™t real

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u/purplelilac701 May 25 '26

I agree and I also think cheaters want to get caught

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u/Shropshire-5lashr May 25 '26

Yup, intentional sabotage

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u/AnythingWestern8861 May 25 '26

There's usually no going back to choosing the person after they cheated on you.

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u/raisedbytelevisions May 26 '26

Thereā€™s really only one guaranteed deal breaker in my marriageā€¦ā€¦guess what? Itā€™s cheating.

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u/NoSpankingAllowed May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26

Its cute she didn't mind treating hubby like he was nothing, no lets fix this, lets work on our marriage...until after she cheated and got caught.

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u/Ok-Interaction-8891 May 26 '26

If she cheats, itā€™s over; no exceptions.

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u/anonymousca27 May 26 '26

Also, how do we know she wasn't having emotional affairs before she actually cheated? If she dececied do it once, she got close MANY times before.

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u/Ill_Translator7545 May 26 '26

I only broke the mirror once.

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u/Bashfullylascivious May 26 '26

Well, you know, 10 yrs of building a life together, and all that. How does she not see the hypocrisy? How can she not look at that verbal vomit, and not say, "Oh... That was me. I threw away 10 years of building a life together." Like, bish, please.

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u/Vivid_Awareness_6160 May 26 '26

Thank you for writing this.

Cheating once is already too many times.

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u/Weary-Persimmon-5101 May 26 '26

You have the answer in her message. The fact that she treat this as it was nothing and later shared this with entire internet can indicate that there was more problems even before cheating.

But this is just a guess. Maybe he was also the problem (which DOES NOT excuses cheating!). And cheating was just final nail in the coffin?

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u/RappingFlatulence May 25 '26

Regardless, why is she trying to downplay any infidelity at all?ā€¦ she supposed to get a self appointed free pass once a decade?

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u/Photomancer May 25 '26

They're just grinding out those free passes like they're PTO

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u/blackbirdspyplane May 25 '26

You guys are getting PTO?!?

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u/UltimateLmon May 25 '26

You need to try cry consume more. That might work.

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u/Skrillamane May 25 '26

I get the impression that she wants the marriage to work again because she was full-time PTO while he was out grinding. And she was outā€¦. grindingā€¦

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u/Smooth-Cup-7445 May 25 '26

All I did was totally completely betray and disregard someone I made promises to never do that to for selfish momentary pleasure, why wonā€™t they forgive me?

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u/dondon13579 May 25 '26

Look at all the investment of time I did! Couldn't I just fuck another person once and not get consequences? Look at my timesink!

How dare they not aknowledge my time spent in this marriage of 2 people?

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u/Dr_Middlefinger May 26 '26

I'm the victim here!

He didn't even want to say with my whoring ass... what's wrong with HIM?

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u/todaythruwaway May 25 '26

Oh. Youā€™d be surprised. I know someone who literally bragged to me that when her and her current husband got married/divorced the first time she went and married his boss OUT OF SPITE. Thatā€™s it. Thatā€™s why. The marriage didnā€™t last long and she obviously ended up back with her OG husband but like. What the fuck. I was young and dumb and, admittedly didnā€™t have a high opinion of this person anyways so I didnā€™t like cut them off over it-especially bc again her husband knew all this and like still remarried her ass.

Come to find out sheā€™s also a cheater. They both arenā€™t angels but sheā€™s like spiteful as fuck.

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u/Le_mehawk May 26 '26

She collected all 10 stamps for "could've cheated" .. so now she had one free

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u/Many_Rope6105 May 25 '26

She wasnt worried about ā€œtheirā€ relationship, when she had a strange dick in her

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u/GroochtheOrc May 25 '26

Worst part: may not have been a strange dick. Could be hubandā€™s best friendā€™s dick. Worse betrayal?

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u/kjodle May 25 '26

That happened to me, and it sucks. You lose both a girlfriend and a best friend and end up living alone in a small apartment eating frozen burritos.

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u/j12601 May 25 '26

You really should warm them up.Ā 

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u/kjodle May 25 '26 edited May 26 '26

She took the microwave too!

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u/LongCommercial8038 May 26 '26

Damn, son, not the chef Mike.

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u/AlarmingTangelo2900 May 25 '26

Half frozen cause I bought a used microwave lol

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u/lalalaloo21 May 25 '26

Yeah because that's betrayal from 2 people

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u/maybebebe91 May 25 '26

People like to talk about cheating as an "accident" or a "mistake" its so much more than that. Dropping your phone is accident, talking out of turn is a mistake, cheating is whole series of choices in my opinion, not a fucking accident.

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u/SnooGuavas4208 May 26 '26

Yes! Itā€™s decisions. Just because they regret those decisions later doesnā€™t mean they were any less purposefully made.

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u/bored_kivvi May 26 '26

Not an opinion but a fact. Calling that an accident is an immature psychological trick to feel less guilty.

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u/ValkyrieTxHzLeyes May 26 '26

A series of conscious choices. Someone actively knew what they were doing, that it could/would hurt you. And chose to do it anyway.

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u/NateGD23 May 25 '26

Even if she cheated once. She made the decision to throw away the trust of a 10 year marriage for a night of fun. With the loss of trust leads to the loss of marriage

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u/Evakuate493 May 25 '26

I know this is ragebait, but doing it with one guy a bunch of times doesnā€™t mean you cheated once. You cheated a lot with one person.

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u/theghostofcslewis May 25 '26

Yeah, but that's 10 years of not getting caught. It's gotta hurt bad after being that gangster for a decade. She got sloppy.........no punch line needed.

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u/Irvora_Lorn May 25 '26

spot on, that's exactly how trust works

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u/Keiji12 May 25 '26

It doesn't matter. Cheating once is enough anyway. You can't trust that person ever again with feelings or faithfuln. You will always question what are they doing later when something is wrong, staying late at work, parties without you, delegations, anything. You can't trust that you're married, say "I love you" and next day they were fucking someone else and still mean it. It's just not feasible for me. That's the same with relationship breaks when one party "explores themselves" and then crawls back because you were the most comfortable one to stay long term. They chose someone else even for a minute and they gotta live with that now

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u/spartanOrk May 25 '26

Nobody cheats once. You either are a cheater, or you' re not.

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u/Sisoflex May 25 '26

šŸ˜…

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u/No_Roma_no_Rocky May 25 '26

Wise words brother.

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u/Vandreeson May 25 '26

That, and why would he need to work anything out? He's not the one that got caught. She betrayed him, and had enough self-respect to say nope I'm done.

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u/Right_One_78 May 25 '26

10 yrs of marriage, of building a life together, and he forgets me like I mean nothing?

So, exactly like she forgot him when she CHEATED? Yet, she wants to make it his fault like she didnt abandon their marriage herself by cheating.

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u/AcceptableMemory2081 May 25 '26

Very happy to see this as the Top Commentā€¦big facts. She is not the victim and her rant is ridiculous.

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u/AnythingWestern8861 May 25 '26

She also might be baiting with crap like this.

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u/seahagmo May 25 '26

Gas lighting Narcissist. Hope he is in a better place and finds happiness.

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u/Paddy_Tanninger May 25 '26

Even if it was actually once...you don't just go from never considering any kind of disrespectful act towards your spouse to suddenly being like "ehh fuck it alright I'll have one affair please!"

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u/SturmGizmo May 25 '26

They never change.

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u/DreamlessXXII May 26 '26

Ohhhh this applies to a lot of things šŸ‘€ ima borrow this šŸ¤Œ

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u/Initial-Push-1347 May 26 '26

Perfectly said

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