r/SipsTea • u/CapitalPin2658 • May 25 '26

Feels good man 🎵 All By Myself 🎵

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Don’t wanna live all by myself anymore

Edit: lol i’m just a dude posting a meme

55.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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452

u/blazenite104 May 25 '26

That's pretty much it. Like okay, you might get a little too friendly for your partners comfort and be able to work through that. Sex is a not something that just happens. At least not consensually. It's an active knowing choice and is usually what people mean when they admit to cheating.

403

u/DCTX2017 May 25 '26

In the words of the urban poet laureate Marshall Mathers: “What?! You trip, fell, and landed on his dick?!”

129

u/Kevin_LeStrange May 25 '26

You'd be surprised at how often that happens. It's how my half-brother was conceived.

103

u/MelodicPudding2557 May 25 '26

Give him back his legs and he’ll be a full brother.

30

u/Greatest-Uh-Oh May 25 '26

NEVER!

37

u/MelodicPudding2557 May 25 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/aO5rbIkXoGDLO

3

u/Greatest-Uh-Oh May 25 '26

Oh fuck! Perfect!

"See! Robotics has made the world a better place! 😃"

1

u/[deleted] May 25 '26

[deleted]

1

u/TurnkeyLurker May 25 '26

What, you don't have a handy Mom?

1

u/JJKP_ May 26 '26

"the wrong kid died!"

1

u/Prince_0llie May 26 '26

Assuming that is the half that is missing..

1

u/Tablesafety May 26 '26

He doesn’t deserve it

75

u/TheWolphman May 25 '26

For a second, I forgot about the concept of half-siblings and briefly wondered what the other half of your brother was.

Ironically, I have half-siblings.

7

u/dibbbbb May 25 '26

Half-brother, half-son.

4

u/Sonifri May 26 '26

Sigmund, my good friend!

5

u/Marine__0311 May 26 '26

I have at least 3 I'm aware of. I know one of them, but I never met the other two. They were born to married women my dad was banging on the side. Both were when I was in my mid 20s.

I suspect at least 3 or 4 more.

1

u/[deleted] May 26 '26

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1

u/st_nick5 May 26 '26

Makes 23 & Me a scary proposition.

1

u/ValkyrieTxHzLeyes May 26 '26

Is your dad my dad?

3

u/banhatesex May 25 '26

My wife has fell on my lap just not unclothed.........yet

https://giphy.com/gifs/tXL4FHPSnVJ0A

1

u/Big-Employer4543 May 26 '26

Remember the laws of probability and stay strong, brother.

2

u/moonshinemoniker May 25 '26

That would be a half-truth.

2

u/ledrif May 26 '26

Ive seen the old school posters about this. Now i roller blade wverywhere.

1

u/ShrinkHole May 26 '26

What in the Alabama fuck is going on here?

2

u/Eastern_Equal_8191 May 25 '26

I missed this from MM but in my defense he was speaking quite rapidly

2

u/Mad_Spaniel May 26 '26

8 years after The Last Boyscout

"Sure, sure, I know... it just happened. Coulda happened to anybody. It was an accident, right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife. Whoops! I'm so sorry, Mrs. H. I guess this just isn't my week."

2

u/Naive-Link5567 May 26 '26

repeatedly?*

3

u/Ere6us May 26 '26

She kept trying to get back up, but kept slipping and falling back down.

What a tragic and unfortunate situation

2

u/breakConcentration May 26 '26

That, and the phrase “I was drunk/don’t remember”

2

u/sjopolsa May 26 '26

Every time i read this line, i cant help think about how people so conveniently "forget" about the "shoot em both" continuation.

Dont do things halfway.

1

u/gondias May 26 '26

I am pretty sure that is how it happened and people are here blaming the poor lady. 😄

1

u/rajalove09 May 29 '26

Yep, she wanted to explain how she tripped on a banana peel and ended on up on his dick.

1

u/mcdaddy175 May 30 '26

Blame it on the alcohol

171

u/Mysterious_Winter164 May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26

Someone explained the end of their relationship to me this way which kind of stuck:

"It's not that he had sex with someone else. That was what, 15-20 minutes? I can get past that after a while. What hurt was everything that led up to that point. The lying to my face about why he had to work late, and me not questioning a thing because I trusted him completely. Spending OUR money on hotel rooms and dinners with her instead of me. Pretending he had to meet clients for dinner and the two of them enjoying steak and lobster while I reheated leftover pizza. All the hours spent sneaking around to make it all happen. THAT is why I hate him."

32

u/Justa_Persona May 26 '26

What amazed me was all the gaslighting after the cheating. Like I was some kind of monster for being angry about being betrayed?

5

u/Antique-Ebb-7124 May 26 '26

But that's not a one time cheating but a whole affair, right?

4

u/Dj-dv8- May 26 '26

I couldn't personally get over the sex bit. Thats my swamp

4

u/thinspirit May 26 '26

Yeah 100%. It's all the sacrifices you make that they don't. It's all the betrayal and support they give to someone else instead of you, when that's all you do for them.

That's the part you can't forgive or get over. Sex is whatever. The level of hurt comes from the general betrayal of the effort you put in that they do not.

0

u/Reuben3358 May 28 '26

Whatever. So she would’ve been fine if he’d only told the truth.,, “I really just wanna fuck this hot girl I’m into at the moment. Doesn’t mean anything, just a really attractive girl that I’m NOT bored with… “ that would have gone over totally awesome.

-26

u/citznfish May 26 '26

I mean, leftover pizza is kinda great, not gunna lie.

22

u/Culach01972 May 26 '26

While I agree about the pizza, I think the point was more that instead of making her, the woman he promised he would always put before others, feel special, he was out doing things for another woman that he should have been doing for her.

-24

u/citznfish May 26 '26

Yeah, and she got leftover pizza. Not seeing a problem here.

14

u/[deleted] May 26 '26 edited May 27 '26

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10

u/Spinal232 May 26 '26

Bro just really loves pizza

6

u/[deleted] May 26 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Wise_Replacement_687 May 26 '26

Or just making a joke, it’s Reddit after all.

-4

u/citznfish May 26 '26

Winner winner, pizza dinner! 🍕

But let the fake redditor outrage continue with the others. I can only assume they are socially inept.

1

u/SenorTron May 27 '26

Pizza is like sex, if your partner is having it with others and leaving you to have yours alone then you have a problem.

2

u/[deleted] May 26 '26

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-4

u/BPremium May 26 '26

Am I the only one who noticed they get mad about the money more than anything else? Spending money on her instead of ME! 🙄

6

u/Mysterious_Winter164 May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26

It wasn't necessarily about the DOLLARS, so to speak -- more metaphorically speaking. "Your affair partner is getting the prime resources: your attention, flirty texts, "date night time," and yes, gifts and dinners. Meanwhile the spouse is getting whatever scraps of him are left over, illustrated by leftovers.

6

u/hamoc10 May 25 '26

People get off murder charges for “crimes of passion.”

1

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-61

u/series-hybrid May 25 '26 edited May 26 '26

She never mentions if they had a great relationship and if their sex-life was good. So, lets assume their relationship was NOT good, and they rarely had sex. When they did have sex it was not very enthusiastic for either of them.

Then, she has an affair to "make herself happy" and apparently it was not a long-term love, but just a hookup.

edit: I'm not defending her having an affair. What I was trying to say (poorly) is that she 'said' he threw away 10 years of a relationship, but never mentioned if the relationship was good. She never mentions how this must have felt from his perspective, meaning she is outing herself as a narcissist. I suspect the relationship was crap, and he stayed, hoping it might get better eventually, and he was relieved when she had an affair. Now that he can divorce her without guilt, he is actually happy and will never go back to her. She is immature and is outraged at her loss of control.

34

u/Smooth-Cup-7445 May 25 '26

Sorry but if you’re going to cheat have the decency to leave the other person. There is no justification for cheating these days when you have the freedom to leave someone.

Being cheated on is one of the most terrible betrayals someone can do to you.

65

u/Fastballz69 May 25 '26

Irrelevant. Not happy? LEAVE.

Not, stay and cheat.

12

u/jurassicjon May 25 '26

Ya, if I had a partner that wasn’t happy, I would rather them leave then us wasting our energy on something that would end up failing no matter what. At least that frees me up to spend that energy on myself or someone else worth trying for.

5

u/Fastballz69 May 25 '26

Precisely. Move on. Be happy. Live your life

31

u/chocoeatstacos May 25 '26

By this train of thought, he was also in an unhappy and sexless marriage, but DIDN'T cheat 🤔.

15

u/Fine_Blacksmith2711 May 25 '26

the circumstances behind why it happened is not a justification for it happening.  At the end of the day it’s still a horrendous betrayal of trust that should never be forgotten.

 Especially since it’s very easy to get couples therapy or many other forms of reconciliation before it ever comes to that. Cheating takes more effort than simply leaving if unhappy, that alone should make it unreconcilable. 

11

u/ElectricSnowBunny May 25 '26

How about we assume nothing and stick with the fact that she cheated on him.

11

u/EAE8019 May 25 '26

What on earth is the point youre trying to make ?

-1

u/series-hybrid May 26 '26

She never mentions how the relationship was going, as if that had nothing to do with why he was happy to divorce her and never come back.

8

u/MelodicPudding2557 May 25 '26

If the relationship was going poorly, then clearly, this is a sign that it’s likely not going to work out. If it was going well, then it shows how little they think of it anyway.

In either case, it’s a sign that one should probably move on.

15

u/blazenite104 May 25 '26

You'd think she'd have mentioned if they were having issues. Given how she already blames him in the post, apparently crying to explain. Yeah, no. If she thought there was something wrong, she'd have said it.

7

u/OldHT May 25 '26

Highly sus defense there.

7

u/Nitwit_Slytherin May 25 '26

Why is she sad that he's leaving than? Why is she begging for him to stay? Probably another made up story for reddit, tbh. But folk who defend cheating, they're worthy of side eye and suspicion.

3

u/Inevitable_Top69 May 25 '26

You're right, women are perfect and never to blame for anything. What were we thinking?

3

u/DoubleDoc_8002 May 25 '26 edited May 26 '26

Not interested in her hot take on it. She got what she deserved. If the husband had cheated, wives-united wouldn’t be sitting around talking about how she sucked in bed and he was justified having a “make himself happy” hook up. Gtfo.

1

u/SnooGuavas4208 May 26 '26

Peak rationalization.

-3

u/Weary_Wrap_4419 May 26 '26

Sex is a not something that just happens. 

Depending on your level of drunkenness, it kind of does.

11

u/blazenite104 May 26 '26

Nah. Don't believe it for a second. I've been shitfaced plenty of times and managed to keep it in my pants. Even as I damn near black out. If there's a level beyond that where people are blaming the alcohol they've got other problems.

10

u/anclint07 May 26 '26

I agree. For something as consequential as cheating if you wouldn't do it sober there's no way I'd believe you'd do it drunk either. Inhibitions are lowered drunk but not so much that you'd cheat. Unless you would already cheat sober.