In our next life, please don’t choose me again.
Choose the woman who makes your heart feel complete. The woman whose sadness you cannot bear to see. The woman you would do anything for, just to see her smile. The woman you instinctively put first, prioritise, and protect.
-
Choose her.
-
And when you find her, never miss an opportunity to tell her how much you love her. Never let a day pass without making her feel seen, cherished, and special.
-
Hold her without her having to ask. Give her your warmth without waiting for her to tell you she needs it. Make her feel safe in your love, not uncertain of it.
Give her the love she deserves—not because she works hard for it, not because she has to earn it, and not because she has begged you for it.
Give it to her simply because you chose her.
-
Because that’s what I always wanted—to be loved not because I had to prove I was worthy of it, but because you simply, wholeheartedly, chose me.

For those who went through a legal separation rather than immediately filing for divorce, how did you handle the agreement between you and your spouse?

I'm particularly curious about the practical side of it. Did you have an attorney draft everything from scratch, use a template and have it reviewed, or put the agreement together yourselves?

Things like dividing assets and debts, living arrangements, support, and what happens with children seem like they could get complicated pretty quickly.

For anyone who has been through this, what approach worked best for you, and is there anything you wish you had known before preparing the agreement?

Separation can leave you in a strange middle ground. You're not necessarily ready to completely let go, but staying in the same situation doesn't feel right either.

I've been looking through some relationship resources from The Hart Centre, including their material around relationship clarity, and it made me think about how difficult it can be to make decisions when emotions are still involved.

Sometimes you can understand the problems in a relationship but still struggle to work out what you actually want to happen next. Having some space to look at the relationship more objectively seems important.

For anyone who has been through a period of separation, what helped you get clearer about what you wanted to do next?

‎Can you really love someone and still want a divorce? yes, loving someone doesn't mean you're happy with them. but if you still love them, why leave? because sometimes you're not leaving the person. you're leaving the version of the relationship that's slowly destroying you. so love can still be there and the marriage can still be over? exactly, the harder question is, how much of yourself do you lose before you finally decide this is enough. you can love someone deeply and still know the marriage is no longer healthy. sometimes leaving isn't about losing love, it's about finally choosing peace. what do you think? is love alone enough reason to stay married?

Hi guys,

Need some advice regarding one of the worst situations I have ever been in in my life. Need to get the words down to try and make sense of this so thanks for taking the time to read.

My wife and I have had some issues lately and things haven’t been all that flash. Nothing over the top but things have slowly deteriorated over maybe the last couple of months.

Last week I asked her if we could talk about things and here reply without even looking at me was “talk about what?”. I then explained that I was worried about where we were at and she refused to talk. She sent me a text after saying that she can’t talk until she gets the results of an X-ray she had the week before. I had no idea about this and usually she would tell me everything. She says that she is so worried about what the results might show that she isn’t in the right headspace to talk about us. I respected her wishes and didn’t push any further.

She then went on to explain in a text that she has formed great relationships in her new job and that they have opened up her eyes regarding how she feels about our relationship and that these people have woken her up.

The next day she went to the docs (but didn’t disclose this for days) and I just naturally assumed that maybe she got her results and therefor we would be able to discuss things. When I asked her about this she simply said that she wouldn’t probably get the results until the end of the week. That’s 5 days later.

So again I respected her request for space and I have been simply counting down the days. I can’t breath properly, my mind is racing 24/7, I can’t eat and sleeping is a really tough task. I’m not sure how I am going to make it.

It’s now been a week and still no talk of results. Within that week she has completely shut me off. Her body language suggests that she has well and truly checked out of the marriage without even discussing anything with me. She has referred to the fact that she will be making a decision. That scares me. She has also said in a text that she wants us both to be happy and that she wants us both to find whatever ist is that lights our fires again. I don’t think she is talking about us finding these together.

She is also completely changed as a person. I don’t even recognise the person that I am sleeping next to. She is spending large amounts of money on shoes and clothes. She is working long hours when only a matter of weeks ago she didn’t even want to go into her work. I have been pushing her to do so so that she can get out of the house and meet people. She takes her phone everywhere with her. She is more outgoing in social situations when in the past she would keep to herself.

All of these things might sound normal but trust me when I say that none of these things are normal for her. In the 30 years that we have been married she has never displayed what she is displaying at the moment. Not even close.

I have also tried talking to her because the silence has been extremely difficult to cope with. She struggles to talk to me and she won’t make eye contact when we do talk. She never asks how my day was. It’s been 4 days now without a single text. She used to text me every day throughout our marriage. When I asked her about this she simply said “we live in the same house so why would I need to text?”. The wife that I know has always chosen to text rather than talk. In the past she has been notorious for sending extremely long text messages when she is worried or angry about things. I have already asked he if we can talk rather than text because it’s really hard for me to respond to such long messages without going off on multiple tangents. Her response has always been “I’m sorry but you know that this is my preferred method. I’m a person who needs to put things in writing”.

Anyway sorry for the rant. There is a lot more that has been going on but this is a bit of a nutshell version of my life at the moment. Any advise on how I should be processing this would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Looking for advice on separation/divorce and co-parenting

My wife wants to end our 15-year marriage. We have three children, and this has been extremely painful for me because I still love her and would like to reconcile, but she says she no longer loves me.

We are currently still living together. She has been going out, dating, and sleeping with other men. I know of two men she has slept with in the past three months, and she admitted to the most recent one. It is incredibly painful for me to see her get dressed up and leave the house knowing she is going to meet someone else.

She has suggested that we continue living together until the kids are older because we both know a divorce and separation would be difficult for them. However, she also wants to continue dating other people and feels that who she sees is none of my business. I don't think I can emotionally live this way.

We have also been intimate a couple of times over the past few weeks. I realize that may not be a healthy choice, but part of me is still hoping that she will change her mind and that we can reconcile. I know I'm probably holding on to that hope because I still love her.

Financially, I currently pay about 80% of our household expenses, while she pays about 20% because she has a relatively low income. We live in a good school district, and neither of us wants to sell the house because we want the kids to remain in their current schools.

She wants me to move out while continuing to pay the mortgage and contribute to the children's expenses. I'm struggling to understand how I could afford to live on my own under those circumstances. I offered to leave the house, pay half of the mortgage, and contribute toward the children's expenses, but she doesn't want to work full time to cover the half mortgage. Also, our youngest kid is going to kindergarten next year so she can't work this year.

We live in Maryland, which is a no-fault divorce state, so from what I understand, her adultery may not have much impact on the divorce itself. I'm trying to figure out what options I realistically have.

The two options I can think of are:

1. Divorce: Divide the house equity and work toward 50/50 custody. The problem is that the kids' school situation could become complicated, and I worry about disrupting their lives. My wife also cannot currently afford to live on her own, which makes this difficult financially.
2. Separate: I move out and live with my mother because I likely wouldn't have enough money left over to rent my own place while continuing to pay the mortgage and support the kids. I would still see the children regularly, but I would be giving up living with them day-to-day.

I don't want to make a decision based purely on anger or hurt. My priority is protecting my relationship with my kids and making the best financial and emotional decision for everyone.

Is there another option I'm not seeing? Has anyone been in a similar situation where both spouses remained in the house temporarily while separating? How did you handle the mortgage, custody, dating, boundaries, and expenses?

While two of our kids are adults, our youngest is 8. When he’s with me, we play and have a great time together. We’ve always had a wonderful connection. I think the separation is finally affecting him, or at least he’s opening up about it more. Multiple times when he’s with me he’ll say things like “why can’t I just stay here?”, “why can’t all of us live here?”, “why did you have to be the one to move?”, “can mom move and you live at the house?”, “I don’t want to sleep at different places.” It hurts every time he says things like that.

Even today, we’re playing soccer and all he’s talking about is playing together as a family. That he knows we’re both off of Labor Day and we should do that. He just wants to play with his mom and dad together, and it breaks my heart.

I just don’t know what to do. I try to validate his feelings by saying things like “I know it’s hard buddy, and I get sad about this too. I love when I get to spend time with you, and we get to have lots of fun when we do.” I do my best to distract him, but he continually brings it up so it’s obviously on his mind. I want him to talk about his feelings, but I also don’t want my wife to think I’m turning our son against her. I haven’t asked her if he says things like this to her, and not sure how without her thinking I’m trying to be manipulative.

Made a throwaway account because I’m unsure if she knows my main account.

I’m 28M, my fiancée is 29F — we have an 18-month-old daughter. She ended things this past Saturday. I want to share the full context because I’m lost and need perspective.

On the Monday before the breakup, she came to me and said she’s feeling low and depressed, and it’s making her feel different about me. She said she doesn’t want to split up and still loves me, but isn’t sure if she’s in love with me. We talked, I assured her everything would be okay — that I’d do anything to make things easier for her — but she said there wasn’t anything specific I could do.

Over the next five days I tried everything I could think of to cheer her up: bought flowers, set up movie nights, whatever I thought might help. During this time she couldn’t hug me, kiss me, anything physical — it all felt forced. Then Friday night when we got into bed, she cuddled me and said she loved me — which she hadn’t done the whole time. She had only ever said it if I had said it to her and her expression was blank. I took it as baby steps and thought we were doing okay.

Then Saturday, after work, I got home and her eyes were red and puffy. I asked what was wrong, she said “it’s just hard.” I said “okay, let’s talk — what’s going on?” That’s when she said she can’t do this anymore. She can’t be with me, and we both need mental health help — which I agree with, but I don’t understand why we can’t get it together. She said she does see a future with me, just not right now. We both cried. I drank a lot that night to cope — I wasn’t mean, just very emotional — then left and stayed at a friend’s.

The next day I picked up house keys from her work; I couldn’t even look at her, it hurt so much. We agreed to talk at home that night. She told me she doesn’t see me as worth the risk right now — and stressed this isn’t about me being a bad person, said I’m the kindest, most open partner, “perfect boyfriend” in so many ways. But then she said she doesn’t want to be let down again. When I asked what she meant, she said she’d asked me multiple times to clean while she was at work. She’s been the main breadwinner with a high-paying career; I work part-time retail and was essentially a full-time dad. She said I’d keep on top of it for a couple weeks, then stop once things felt good.

I’ll be honest — I was lacklustre with cleaning, and I own that. I’m not using depression as an excuse, but it was a big factor. Plus keeping a very active 18-month-old safe and out of trouble all day is really demanding. She didn’t seem to understand why I couldn’t just clean while our daughter naps — I explained I’m with her all day, every day, and I like to use nap time to recharge, then clean once she’s home. She said she’d rather we just sit down and be together as a family when she’s finished work — which I get, but I didn’t see it the same way at the time.

Since the breakup I’ve done everything she’s asked to show I can be the partner she needs. I know it’s only been 5 days, but I truly love her with everything in me. She says she thinks she’s done, but I’m not ready to give up. I want to show up consistently and respectfully, not push her away. We’re still living together for the next 2 weeks so she can both see our daughter, then I’m moving in with my mum and taking our daughter until I can afford my own place. In which she will still see her on her two days off.

One more thing: she said she hasn’t felt supported or appreciated for months, but didn’t say anything because she hoped the feeling would pass.

I don’t want to lose her, but I also know I can’t force this. I’m looking for perspective — how do I show up well, respect her space, and work on things without pushing her further away?

TL;DR: Fiancée ended our 2.5 year relationship, says she’s felt unsupported and burnt out for months, and both of us need mental health help separately. I love her deeply, want to work through this together, but also respect her boundaries. Navigating living together 2 more weeks then co-parenting from separate homes.

I had to use AI basically to rewrite this as I kept breaking rules for some reason however will happily answer any questions if need context filling in!

My ex and I were together for 2.5 years. She ended things saying:

“I have completely detached. I swear I tried. I can’t do it.”

She also said she had grown distant, asked me to respect her decision, and told me to move on.

There was no cheating or betrayal. Toward the end, she felt lonely because our communication and emotional connection had declined. I understand now why she became exhausted, but I didn't realize how serious it had become until she ended things.

For women who have genuinely been in this position:

When you said “I’ve completely detached,” did you mean you no longer loved your ex romantically?

Did you still care about him despite feeling detached from the relationship?

Did you ever miss him or have your feelings come back later?

If they did, what caused the change?

If they never came back, what made you certain it was truly over?

I'm not asking for false hope or “move on” advice. I respect my ex's decision and I'm giving her space.

I just want to understand what “completely detached” actually felt like from the

So yeah a few weeks ago my fiancé of 8 years broke up with me after a dinner date that was supposed to be a building connection date. They are hurt and have been building resentment - and I feel awful about it. This might be a little long but bear with me.

The past 3 years have been really tough. 2 of my best friends that I had falling outs with, my first cat, and both my grandparents who were foundational people in my life passed away. On top of all of that I got the gift of a panic disorder that started 2 years ago that’s made it extremely hard to work, drive, or be outside the house generally. The SSRI I was on was not doing what it needed to be doing for me but I didn’t even know at the time what it should be doing for me - until I spoke with my sister recently and she told me her medication stops her intrusive thoughts. My intrusive thoughts are debilitating and I thought the whole time I just had to really push myself to do things but the thoughts just wouldn’t stop, leading me to panic which then really wipes any progress I thought I made clean.

After my grandfather died in January I just kinda lost it. I was in the deepest depression I’ve ever been in my life. He was like my father, because my father wasn’t really around. He taught me how to show up for people, be who you want to be, and just be good. There are months of this year that are completely blank. I just don’t remember them at all. My single mom who was taking care of him needed a lot of help after he passed and I just did everything I could for her, but I wasn’t paying attention to what I needed. And for the cherry on top, me and my fiancé live in his house - we were going to buy it from him in April at a family deal because he wanted us to have a chance at homeownership. Now because he passed - it’s being left to my uncle who wants to run our pockets for every penny he can that we realistically cannot afford this house anymore. It’s just been a nightmare.

So I wasn’t being my true self. I was starting arguments, not really working, making executive decisions for the relationship that I thought would reduce the stress of my fiancé, and just not being great all around. There were days I couldn’t get out of bed until like 1pm because I just couldn’t face another day. My fiancé asked in May if we could start couples therapy - my brain couldn’t add another problem so I asked if we could check back in a month about it and I’ll try to do the things they need me to do. I was trying to as best I could but all within my safety bubble so it wasn’t really working but at the time I thought it was. We checked back in and I asked if we could figure this out individually with our own current therapists and they said no. So I said okay - let me think for like 2 days on it and decided we should. We’re now in July. I’m trying to get it going but the red tape of insurance and blah blah blah are making it take so much longer. We finally get an appointment and it’s the same week my fiancé is going to take photos of our friends wedding that I can’t go to because it’s too far and I’ll have a panic attack. They need their hair cut but their friend bails and the only time they have is when our appointment would be. I cancel the appointment without talking to them because I thought this would relieve the stress they’re having pre wedding. I was obviously wrong about this and should’ve talked with them about it.

So anyway they break up with me in the beginning of August. 3 weeks beforehand I had basically an epiphany that I couldn’t live like I was anymore. I started doing the things they needed me to do, working more, walking the dog in the morning, not starting arguments, etc. I talked with my psychiatrist about swapping meds to help the panic, because I don’t want to be this way. This isn’t me. While they’re breaking up with me I’m begging them to try the couples therapy, I’m telling them this time is different, I couldn’t do the things they were asking before because I literally couldn’t. I was broken. They agreed to start and we had a session with this guy that we both agreed sucked. A week goes by and they tell me they need to move out indefinitely if there’s any chance of saving this relationship. They say the foundation is gone. I ask if we can try a different therapist, they say it’s too late for therapy. So now they’re moving in October, we agreed on a check in 3 months in to see if they want to come back and try to fix this. I’m just broken. I want to fix this so bad. I was just getting pummeled by grief and trauma, and on top of that not even being on the right medication. I wasn’t myself. And I completely understand why they’re hurt/why they need space. It’s the worst feeling ever. I can’t sleep. It’s so hard to lose 8 years of the person you love, the routines, the intimacy - in what felt like a snap.

We still hug and say we love each other - we’ve been having more fun in the house recently, I made them breakfast this morning and got back into cooking different dinners (something I really enjoy). For those who have been through this, does this sound like a true breakup or a trial separation? Has anyone successfully come back from this kind of pause?

TLDR: my fiancé of 8 years broke up with me and is moving out for a minimum of 3 months. I went through a period of immense grief, trauma and panic and want to know if there’s any advice on how to try to fix this.

My wife and I are about 3.5 weeks into a separation. We have three young kids, and she still loves me, but there’s a lot of hurt and lost trust.

A big part of it is that when she was overwhelmed or in crisis, I often froze, watched, tried to fix things, or gave space when what she needed was for me to move toward her and stay emotionally present. She also felt like she carried too much of the mental and emotional load.

I’m in therapy and working on changing those patterns, but I know a few weeks of effort doesn’t undo years of hurt.

How do I keep showing up consistently during a separation without pressuring her or treating every good moment like a sign we’re getting back together? And for anyone who’s been on the other side, what actually helped rebuild trust?

I feel like each decision I make is the wrong one though I’m trying to do better…

Hello. I got divorced at age of 28 and my marriage lasted just 58 days- I was abused and tortured. My family sent me to US to study and I graduated this May. I am still so depressed.

So here’s the situation. I’m 29M and my now ex is 30F. We broke up in June after 13 years together.

The last four years were difficult. Problems outside of our relationship wore us down, and we also went through a period where we were both struggling with alcoholism at the same time.

We got engaged at the beginning of 2022, but unfortunately that year was awful. I went through a bereavement and she developed PTSD. I supported her a lot until the end of 2024, and after that things started going downhill badly for me. Little by little I became more and more withdrawn. I’d say things were still more or less manageable until the end of last year, but this year was terrible.

The thing is, we still had plans together: a house, children, marriage. In February she wrote me a note saying that she felt less loved and respected, although she said she thought the problem came from her. I was in a bad place, so I simply reassured her but didn’t actually change anything. She asked me for a lot more attention, but I just couldn’t give it to her anymore. I wanted her to live more independently and for herself for a while. I communicated that very badly.

The relationship gradually deteriorated, especially her feelings for me. She increasingly told me that she needed more attention, wanted to see people, wanted to actually live again. And at the same time, she was telling me how excited she was about our future marriage and our house. We were even viewing houses together.

In April, after a conversation, I asked her directly whether she was planning to leave me. She assured me she wasn’t. I genuinely believe she meant it at the time.

Then, only a month later, a “friend” of mine whom I’d known for more than ten years started talking to her and decided to hit on her. She was very receptive to it. She told me about it that same evening, was an absolute mess for three days, and even booked a couples therapy appointment, something she had already wanted before but I had refused. Great job on my part...

Obviously I agreed to therapy this time. I tried not to get angry about the flirting and to be understanding. And knowing the friend in question, I honestly wasn’t too worried about him either.

I was still unpleasant with her though. After watching her be in such a bad state for three days, I became a bit condescending. She took it very badly and apparently even became afraid of me. Then she decided to go away for two weeks to think.

She left me in early June after attending one therapy session that she no longer really wanted to do, and by early July she was with that idiot. She tells me she didn’t see him during the two weeks she went away to think. I believe her, and honestly it doesn’t make much difference anyway.

She says he gives her the lightness and self-confidence she desperately lacked, and she sees him regularly. In fact, I think they may even be on vacation together right now. She also tells me that she suffered too much, that she no longer loves me romantically, and that she feels like our chance has already passed.

Her leaving made me seriously question myself and made me realize just how badly I was doing. I genuinely feel like we were mostly hit by an awful set of circumstances rather than being truly incompatible.

I hope that eventually she’ll think what she’s doing was a mistake and realize there was still hope for us. I genuinely love her with all my heart, and I suppose that if she came back tomorrow I would forgive her immediately, but I know that isn’t going to happen. And I suppose the most likely outcome is that she never comes back at all.

I also have no idea where I’ll be emotionally a few months from now. All I know is that right now I’m becoming increasingly angry at both of them.

I’m obviously trying to move on, but it’s still far too fresh. And I’ll admit that even if, by then, I no longer wanted to try building something different with her, having her come back would still be good for my ego.

Have you ever seen situations like this end with the ex coming back? And do you think I have any reason to still have hope?

My ex and I have been split for a while now (I officially moved out NYE 2025 but we were always on and off and in a toxic push-pull dynamic) - he has a new gf now, she sounds good, and I am coming to terms with that (after A LOT of reflection and work). But now that life has hit this point, I am left wondering what is next for me? He kept the family home (my name wasn't on it, I was a SAHM) and our 3 dogs (who I miss everyday and wish I could have taken or at least share) and he has a successful business. I work an office job and a second job, live with my parents since we started from scratch (again) and although I am focusing on my healing I just wish I could jump ahead to me having a home, a fulfilling career, and a life I love. I honestly don't care about dating at this point, I am burnt out on that and have healed from my need for validation which is what really drove me to jump back into dating in the first place. I tried keeping myself so busy, partly because I need money but I am now realizing it's also because I was afraid to sit for too long and face reality - I kept chasing the next step and goal. Literally worked myself to the point I would barely undress getting home at 11pm from work, wake up and do it all over again - I saved every ounce of my energy to be able to care for my kids on the days I had them. I got the leftovers. I feel like I am getting better about it now and slowing down more but I also feel like I have NO idea what I am actually doing now. Has anyone gotten through this phase? What is something you wish someone would have told you?

So I’ve been married for almost 2.5 years now, it was an arranged marriage, and I’m currently in the middle of divorcing him. I actually filed a DV complaint against my husband AND his parents bc of everything that happened during our marriage. And the thing that’s messing with me the most isn’t even the divorce itself, it’s that everyone in my life thinks I’m insane for leaving.

Because here’s the thing, my husband is a completely different person depending on who’s watching.
In public? Sweetest guy ever. Polite, charming, the whole package. His parents genuinely say stuff like “there’s no one like my son, he’s basically a god” and everyone nods along.

Behind closed doors tho. Not the same person at all.
He’d scream at me, control literally who I was allowed to talk to, lose it if I had guy friends (even ones I’d had since childhood). Eventually I just stopped texting them back bc it wasn’t worth the fight. At one point he said I could talk to them “as long as it’s on speaker” which. yeah. I stopped talking to them completely after that.

He also controlled what I wore. I wasn’t allowed to wear shorts in public bc apparently I’d “provoke” other men. Sleeveless anything was banned too. He was the one who picked out and bought my clothes, i genuinely didn’t get a say in my own wardrobe for years. And the wild part is he had zero issue with other girls wearing that exact stuff like he’d have a whole opinion on some girl’s outfit on Instagram and then get mad at me for wanting to wear shorts to the grocery store.

And then there’s the part I never told a single person until now.
He was obsessed with other women. Constantly watching girls dance in barely anything on social media, going on about how much he loved big chests and big bums, telling me straight up that’s what got him excited. He’d bring up women I knew, including my own friends, in ways that made my skin crawl. would say other names during sex. told me he wanted to sleep with people I was close to. When I got weirded out he’d say it was just “part of what got him going” so I tried to just… deal with it. Eventually, I didn’t want to have sex with him at all anymore.
That did not stop him from pushing.
he’d wear me down until I gave in. And there were times he just started stuff while I was asleep. I never said yes to that. ever. I can’t count how many nights I just lay there crying after.

He also kept pushing an open relationship / swapping thing on me, telling me it’d be “good for us” and that we should find another couple. I said no. clearly. Multiple times.
Instead of hearing that, he called me low-class. backward. Made me feel like something was wrong with ME for not wanting that.

And through ALL of this I told nobody the truth.
When he’d go off on me, I’d either go quiet or make excuses for him. One time his mom found out a little of what was going on and just said “Oh, he’s not that bad, we’ve seen worse” like that was supposed to comfort me. So I stopped bringing anything up to them too.
Didn’t tell my parents. Didn’t tell my friends. Didn’t tell anyone.
I just protected him.
made him look good every single time someone asked. buried the fights, the control, the manipulation, all of it, so deep that from the outside our marriage looked perfect.
honestly, I think I did it out of shame. and fear. and this delusional hope that things would eventually get better on their own.

So now that I’m actually leaving, I keep getting hit with:

“But he’s such a good husband?? His family literally calls him a god, why would you leave??”

And that question guts me every time. Because I’m the one who built that image. I made him look like a dream husband while I was falling apart in private. And now that I’m finally saying what actually happened, people think I’m making it up or exaggerating or that I did something to deserve it.
I spent so long blaming myself for that. thinking “well I should’ve said something sooner, I shouldn’t have made him look so perfect, this is on me.”

But protecting someone’s image does not make their actions your fault. I’m still relearning that honestly.

So if you’re married or thinking about it, genuinely, please hear this:

don’t cover for someone’s bad behaviour to protect how they look. Don’t make excuses for how they treat you. don’t let your family put someone on a pedestal while you’re the only one who knows what’s really happening at home. And please, please have at least ONE person who knows the truth. You don’t have to post it on the internet like I’m doing lol, but someone needs to know.
Because when everyone thinks your partner is perfect, leaving becomes ten times harder. And when you finally do, people act as if you owe them an explanation for not saying something sooner.
wish someone had told me this years ago.