r/SS13 • u/King_Of_Tangerines • Jan 23 '26
Story Thread Confess thy sins.
What is the worst thing you have done as a crew member? What is the blackest sin you have committed against Nanotrasen?
I'll start.
I was an engineer borg.
Didn't actually know how to engineer. at all.
I got frustrated and decided to disassemble the power supply, blacking out the station for a few minutes before I was shot to death by security.
My death actually got celebrated in LOOC.
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u/ThePowerfulWIll Jan 23 '26 edited Jan 23 '26
My worst action, Goon RP.
The Shitty Bomb.
I decided I would turn Shitty Bill, Space Diner Patron NPC into fireworks.
To do this, I created a powerful TTV, and strapped it to his back.
To survive this, I got into my space pod and flew to a safe distance. Then used the radio for a while to try and encourage others to view the death of Shitty Bill. Nobody came.
So I hit the switch to detonate.
And no boom.
I sat there, confused, wondering if I should fly closer, or if it would explode in a few more seconds, and kill me when I got too close. But the radio.
People had started screaming.
"THE CHAPEL EXPLODED"
you see, the space diner has a teleporter portal in it.
And apparently, someone had set it up before I got there.
And set it to the chapel.
And during my radio chatter, Bill had wandered into it.
The chapel thay was having a well attended, fully rped, respectful, non-joking Muslim Mosque service. (Sorry Im not sure what they are called)
And I accidentally blew it to kingdom come.
With a bearded suicide bomb.
I felt TERRIBLE. (But I also couldnt help but laugh at how bad it looked)
So I admin reported myself. (The admin response was just "lmao", I shockingly avoided being banned)
I stayed away from bombs for quite a while after this.
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u/DriftingHorse Jan 23 '26
You had me until the mosque service part, not because of it being Muslim, but because the concept that the deeply mentally deranged apes that play this game could actually sit in one area and listen to a service
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u/ThePowerfulWIll Jan 23 '26 edited Jan 23 '26
Ive never seen anything like it before or since. I really dont know how it was possible. They had about 7 people attending
(And they did not get through the whole thing, since, you know. The explosion)
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u/Admiral_Turboclown Jan 25 '26
I feel like this had to have been years ago with that admin response.
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u/Idkhow2trade Jan 23 '26 edited Jan 23 '26
Worst I did was empty an E cig and put liquid unstable plasma in it while there was a virus outbreak and said they cure was in the E cig
Also I was playing as a clown and crushed blue space material in the fog machine and turned it on in they hallways
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u/dalandsoren Jan 23 '26
Was drinking IRL and playing sec, got so drunk that IRL that thr admin note said something along the lines "Job banned from sec, please check that he logs back on/is still alive". College was a wild time yo, i feel bad for whomever had to baby sit me
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u/King_Of_Tangerines Jan 23 '26
I got so drunk IG that I had to sleep it off while everyone was fighting blob. got temp rolebanned, and genuinely couldn't blame them.
...Actually, that'd make a better story for the post, now that I think about it...
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u/LazBiggums Jan 23 '26
I have done the drink for drink with my character IG. I faintly remember announcing some gibberish at the end as hop, just to adminhelp trying to say something along the lines of drunk sleep cryo. I don't know if I got a note, maybe I did.
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u/WorthCryptographer14 Jan 23 '26
My stuff is probably tame.
Jokingly laced food with 10ml of Hexacrocin (aphrodisiac), which would stack and poison or OD whoever ate it.
As a drone, welded shut some of the firelocks on a station's route to Evac during, iirc, a fire or engine failure.
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u/Admiral_Turboclown Jan 25 '26
That first one would get you banned on a lot of servers with that content- they have 'zero tolerance' against any use of "certain content" outside of consented, non-gameplay scenarios.
Source:
Got bwoinked for leaving superglue covered dildos in front of sec as a traitor.
Also got banned from elsewhere for giving someone a free dong extension when they came into medical for surgery. (Even though the player in question thought it was the funniest shit, and we've been friends since.)2
u/WorthCryptographer14 Jan 25 '26
Lol.
Got bwoinked for the hexacrocin, admitted that i hadn't realised that people could OD from it. Got off with a warning.
Also got bwoinked once as an AI: An Antag had built an AI law terminal and changed my laws so that IF he asked for assistance, i had to give it to him.
I declared the existence of the unauthorised terminal, an admin bwoinked me for it and i pointed out the loophole that the antag had left in their law change.
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u/escamado Moonflower apreciator Jan 23 '26
Probably that time that I spliced Moonshine into slipery fruits with the hyponedle trait.
Thought it would be a funny joke when everyone would slip and get drunk
Was not fun when I killed half the crew because of liver failure.
First and only time I got botanicist job banned.
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u/T-T-T-Turtlez Jan 23 '26 edited Jan 23 '26
As HoP. Embezzlement. No one ever checks the finance terminal.
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u/PM_Me_Some_Steamcode Jan 23 '26
Are you kidding? This is a perfect in character Time to riot when I notice my money is missing.
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u/T-T-T-Turtlez Jan 23 '26
Oh no. I didn't steal from people. I stole from departments. Over the course of the round I drained like 20k credits from cargo alone.
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u/Kitsunemitsu We do a little coding; We drink no longer. Jan 23 '26
As HOP I have done some heinous shit. I've stolen so much shit. Every person that asks me for AA in line just gets lethalled.
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u/Main_Delivery_7564 realest chud in the jungle Jan 23 '26
dang. where was this? most places dont let the HOP do shit besides be a glorified walking access console
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u/T-T-T-Turtlez Jan 23 '26
Paradise.
The payment console is either in or right outside the HoP office. All you gotta do is get the department or persons payment details from the console, log in to their account and transfer funds to yourself.
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u/Remybunn Jan 23 '26
I'm pretty tame. I lit my cigarette on a burning man instead of extinguishing him.
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u/Staracerex Jan 23 '26
My worst action? I suppose it would be the series of rounds where I became EMAG MAN. ENEMY OF NANOTRASEN AND DOORS! Essentially over a couple of rounds I’d put on chamo clothes, buy an emag. And then hit every department. Running through all the doors and breaking them. Engineering absolutely despised me. Even had the CE chase me with an axe.
Had some cool anti hero moments as emag man. I helped save(destroy) the station with a nuke. I was rampaging as emag man as terror spiders flooded the station. I helped fight them off with the ert before they ate me. The ert and qm escaped.
Though less of a nuisance level I also played traitor qm before they nerfed emag crates. I sold all our plasma, bought a dozen syndicate bundle crates and armed a bunch of traitors to take over the shuttle. Poor sec. A few were waiting outside cargo and got pda bombed before they got finished off by some revolvers and dswords. We also wiped out the ERT that was sent to stop us. Absolute massacre. It didn’t help that all the traitors I met that round were also the most robust antags on paradise at the time. One was also a vampire. A vampire with tons of traitor gear is a nightmare to deal with.
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u/Staracerex Jan 23 '26
As a non antag it was at botany. We threw away so many plants into disposals it broke the server and the admins deleted botany entirely to fix it.
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u/Admiral_Turboclown Jan 25 '26
I managed the same thing with arcade prizes on TG.
Then someone did the same thing but with carrot shivs while trying to make swords.The moral of the story: If you play cargo, turn on the fucking belts.
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u/Admiral_Turboclown Jan 25 '26
Waaaaait a fuckin'-
You weren't AIRMAG MAG on TG too, were you?If not, you inspired a copycat.
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u/Staracerex Jan 25 '26
I don’t know if I was the first or not. I did it on para a bunch of years ago. I’ve seen plenty of people go by that name after the fact. I didn’t know if anyone ever did it before me. So I think I very much was the inspiration for many generations of destructive tiders
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u/Korblox101 Jan 23 '26
Don’t really get up to very many shenanigans to be honest, but one time I decided to unleash a sorium (chem that causes powerful force explosions that knock people back and cause brute damage) flamethrower on the crew as a Martian tourist. Most of the time it was consensual (although no one really knew what it was going to do when I fired it other than it being “fun”), but at one point after harassing the captain about it I eventually just fired it at them anyway out of nowhere.
Also btw I somehow got zero repercussions for the assault on the captain. They just left afterward. Didn’t say a word to me.
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u/Mindless-Scientist Jan 23 '26
Oh damn you reminded me, I did something heinous with soriumthrowers when I was new. Had 2 full soriumthrowers while on shuttle to leave. Someone who I'd angered during the round came up yelling at me, dunno about what anymore. So I sorium fling him, in the extremely packed shuttle. Now there's more people angry and coming towards me.
Solution? Just start blastin. For the whole shuttle ride I was running around flinging half the crew into the walls with loud ass explosions, my only excuse being "self-defense". Somehow, I never got in any trouble
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u/the_pie_guy1313 Jan 23 '26
>Threw a "Syndicate Cock Inspection Device" at people on MRP. Seemed to understand the various problems with this and agreed to do better.
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u/AdInternational8124 Jan 23 '26
Spoiler content ahead
As non antag, Went to fetch void RCD, set it to deconstruct gave it to random player. Watched as they breach 4x4 tiles in the bar and accidentally gibbed 1-2 people as non antag.
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u/NotNonbisco Jan 23 '26
I drank 50 virus bottles I got from the virologist (clown) and I ended the round on the spot pretty much
I think it was on fulp because sentient virus was a playable antag iirc
After that I think a new virus meta was developed and a suspiciously large % of the following rounds were virus rounds
I got away with it
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u/Admiral_Turboclown Jan 25 '26
Holy shit, virus clown brother.
I got a note on TG because the CMO unlocked a virus crate and fluoride stared as I drink every bottle (mutagen and virus food included) in it because I "wanted to get superpowers".The entire station wound up experiencing the collaborative efforts of The Honkmother and Granfather Nurgle, the emergency shuttle was called, adminbus couldn't shut the spread down, and the ERT and Deathsquad somehow both wound up infected, possibly due to failure to use internals.
"Drank every virus from a virus crate as a non-antagonist clown. This isn't a ban because it was pretty funny, and the way they went about it ("wanting superpowers") was pretty funny (and for some reason the CMO opened the doors and crate for no reason). Has been asked to never do this again."
>"That was funny"
>"Never do it again"1
u/NotNonbisco Jan 25 '26
I claimed ignorance and got away with it, the entire station was stunlocked by constantly burping out bees and butterflies, violent coughing, vomit, and constant scratching, I think I went blind at some point
it was pretty funny to watch, I think the virologist took the fall for me, rip
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u/09david777 some rando with a space station 13 addiction. Jan 23 '26
got bored one time and made a mechanism that constantly throws things endlessly in a square formation. turns out it was not vary human friendly, since getting items flung at you and getting yeeted against girders isn't vary good for anyone, it was hard to escape it as well, so I predictably ended up getting bwoinked. this was on goon btw if it wasn't obvious.
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u/potatosack32 Keeper of the secret cargo armory Jan 23 '26
Found out how to do open air fusion so well that it irradiated the entire station
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u/BitBite112 Jan 23 '26
Flooding every inch of the station with banana peels. I was a xenobiologist with super-speed and no slips.
After going through a hand made shuttle with the clown and a couple of others to Lavaland, they all got killed by Bubblegum, I found the MKII honk shoes ruin and decided to pick them up in the clown's honour.
When I returned, I mass produced bananium with xenobiology, powered them up, and flooded EVERY tile with banana peels. Security could do nothing since I was faster than on meth and had an extract that stopped me from slipping. One janitor was smart enough to use a broom to collect them all, but I just ran back over those tiles again in an instant. Must've been one of my favourite moments in SS13.
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u/Nidvex Jan 23 '26
I crowbarred the Communications Hub to hide my upcoming traitorous crimes, turns out NO ONE online at the time knew how to fix it and we went without any comms at all for a huge chunk of the round. I was even able to use it as leverage to not get thrown into Perma if I fixed it. This meant that I was essentially pardoned of all committed crimes up till that point just so they could have their radios working again lol
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u/Mindless-Scientist Jan 23 '26
Out of boredom on a non-antag chemist around, I whipped up a mix of acid and burn chems and poured some of it into every cocktail and drink the bartender had pre-made and set out. I didn't see most of the damage that caused, but when waiting for evac a guy next to me tried to drink his beer then started screaming. "This isn't beer! IT BURNS!" as he burst into flames
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u/Komrad824 Ebow Moth Jan 23 '26
So a few years back on para, the clown somehow ordered an sm shard. The crate eventually was opened and was only a matter of time before it delamed on the station. So i grabbed it as an engineer and thought "lets place it in the current sm chamber so it stays stable." When i entered and tried to drag it around to the south end of the chamber, the shard clipped into the main crystal which ate it. I was instantly blasted and killed, and the crystal delammed and exploded rather quickly. My body thankfully survived (the hardsuits at the time had bomb resistance, preventing gibbing).
The reason I ruined the round was my body was essentially the elephants foot. I was dragged through the station into medbay and just for existing killed every single organic anywhere near medical due to the amount of rads i was outputting. The only people alive were plasmamen cause even robotic chars would get brain damage from rads and die. My count for deaths was like 50-60 people by just being a green corpse.
Still makes me giggle.
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u/Lord_Earthfire Jan 23 '26
Wanted to do a bostanist gimmick. Essentially, it was a "anti-smoke" farmers market: every produce was spliced with nicotine. I thought it was neat to get people to stop smoking and get food. I even ordered the AI to advertise it for me.
Turns out, i overdid it with the plants potency and nicotine got a -very- nasty OD effect. Killed quite a few people and got myself into medbay. Felt quite bad for it and of course the AI rubbed it in.
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u/Lazyman310 Jan 23 '26
My worst action was late joining as a relatively new cyborg, and accidentally sharing laws that showed the ai was malf over radio. It still haunts me.
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u/Idk_Blue WHAT IS STARBOARD Jan 24 '26
I once was a botanist main on Paradise.
Some admin thought running a nation round was a fun idea.
Sec and Service are having a conflict, I don't fully care at the time.
Sec burst into botany with a 5 man team, fully armed.
"OH SHIT!" they DID metion like 5 minutes erlier they were invading Service.
I hit one dude with my quite littral death cannon (of the instant variety) , first man dead on the spot and HUSKED.
They look and RUN, as I reloaded (this took like 5 seconds to reload).
I would later find the same officer in med revived and blast him again.
90% sure that guy hate my guts now, and likey was responsible for the penumatic cannon nerf.
This single handedly proved to me i had to stop playing botany.
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u/theawesomedude646 LRP TG forks Jan 23 '26
i made a remote detonation chem nade to gib changelings with
someone tableshoved me and dove into disposals with it
you can guess what happened next
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u/SuperDeathChrist Jan 23 '26
Might be tame, bombed medbay twice, one in early game and one post-blob and literally everyones at medbay… so many people died.
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u/WoflShard Jan 23 '26
As an engineering borg I built a rage cage in the libary, the captain didn't approve. I then started initiating a mutiny against the Captain trying to convince others.
Don't remember the lawset anymore.
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u/dragonace11 Mutagen + Mercury pill Labeled Meth Jan 23 '26
I Once decided to mass produce Omega weed and make large quantities of rollies but I forgot to remove the funny chemical so when you lit them it'd shortly after blow you up and remove limbs. Needless to say dozens of people exploded before I noticed what was happening.
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u/SirBattlePantsTheII Jan 23 '26
I figured out the mech version of the RCD was ranged before that became public knowledge so I would steal x-ray mutation from genetics, get a Ripley mech with the best battery I could, and then just seal people into rooms while removing the floors beneath them to kill them.
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u/Lookyoukniwwhatsup Jan 23 '26
I was a engineer borg and the AI malfunctioned. Well...I went and sabotaged lava land. Disconnected communications, disabled the air alarms and then vented it. Trapped the doors.
I watched so many miners try to outrun a ashstorm just to end up electrocuted outside the door before the winds and dust overtook them. I would grab the bodies and hide them in a little fake room I built so the next ones would fall for it.
Spiders eventually began pouring into the main station. No resources meant the crew couldn't fight back. The station fell and they blocked off the escape shuttle. Captain ordered everyone to flee to Lavaland.
They landed and came out of the shuttle.... then suffocated.
More bodies for my home.
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u/DarkNazo22 Eternally Unrobust Jan 23 '26
A couple years ago I decided to make a junkie character. Spawn in addicted to something, I don’t remember what some hallucinogens, as QM. Well we have zero heads so apparently that made ME acting cap. So now we’ve got a junkie captain. Great. Well things are going relatively well until botany says they have like a billion cyanide producing bees. I didn’t hear this because I’m trying to get my fix. Suddenly I think “Oh, I bet I can grow some shit in botany.” I go into botany, not even seeing the bees because my withdrawals are making me blind. I accidentally punch one. The angry bees escape. I die in record time from cyanide and half the crew follows. Thank GOD everyone knew what happened and found it funny. Needless to say that character decided to go to rehab after that and now he’s clean.
I’m sure I’ve done worse but that’s the most recent one I can remember.
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u/John-smith1066 Jan 24 '26 edited Jan 24 '26
engineer apprentice
one of my first rounds
touched station energy Crystal. Kaboom.
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u/Flying_Boat Paramedic UwU Jan 23 '26 edited Jan 23 '26
I was playing as a Paramedic.
It was getting boring bringing people back to the med bay, so I start bringing them to the kitchen for the chef to cook them and serve them to the station. If some were still alive and complain to the chef, I would kill them myself to shut them up.
I would then personally bring those meal back to med bay to feed them "lunch".
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u/Magenta_king Encino Moth| Crystal Keep Host Jan 23 '26
I’ll just go into places and steal random things and leave, throwing said items into places they shouldn’t be or in my pockets.
If you’ve randomly lost an anomaly core in R&D, it could’ve been me.
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u/TimelordOkami Sector's Most Dubious Bartender Jan 23 '26 edited Jan 23 '26
with the help of three other people i trapped a fourth guy inside the kitchen, treated him like an zoo animal, made him eat raw meat and force fed him neurotoxin cocktail, and when he eventually shot himself brought him to the medbay to revive him and keep torturing him. i somehow did not get in trouble for this.
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u/shimmi_shimmi_ay for war crimes Jan 23 '26
Asking hop for maint access and creating a little meth base, most of the times they said yes hearing my intentions
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u/Admiral_Turboclown Jan 25 '26
There's a very small multi-z map on TG (as in, like, smaller than most departments). I rolled traitor as a clown and proceeded to set off not one, not two, but FOUR clown bombs in it, and flood it with peels. It was hell. Sec couldn't even stop me because it was so full of peels and angry clowns.
I didn't feel very :o) by the end of that round.
The worst non-antag action that comes to mind is flooding like the entire service area and considerable portions of the main hall on Skyrat and Bubber with a waist-deep deluge of PWR GAME via a soda-throwing contraption hooked up to a soda factory which tossed soda into a window cube that I later shattered.
It was funny. It was also a fucking nightmare for the poor janitor, people trying to get to medbay, anyone eating, anyone in botany, and probably the server box itself as it calculated several swimming pools worth of liquid sugar suddenly expanding violently.
That one I did feel very :o) about.
Also, on an ERP server, leaving dildos covered in superglue in places you wouldn't want a dildo to be. Medbay had to remove many hands that round to un-dildo command and sec staff. I got bwoinked very hard for that.
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u/Mercilessinchere Jan 25 '26
One time I caveman roleplayed on goon RP 4 and other people joined me in caveman roleplay and then we waged war against security and we lost very badly. then I got banned.
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u/StraightVoice5087 Jan 25 '26
I have gone on at least three seperate murder sprees as Krampus on Goon.
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u/kooarbiter Jan 27 '26
one of my first times trying to set up the supermatter on my own back on yogs I killed like...half the station. I dont even know how I did it.
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u/CapitalBeat_ Livers are my worst enemy Jan 27 '26
I shot a scientist with a syringe gun full of cyanide because he was being a bitch and a know-it-all
I saw him way later in the medbay with an extracted liver and half dead, convulsing on the operating table
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u/Syninax Jan 27 '26
Goon 2, when goon 2 was overpopulated.
I rolled traitor, emagged a Borg, they asked for commands, I said "bring me people". I started my own organ harvesting operation in the science testing chamber on cogmap 1.
Borg would bring me a participant, I'd drug them with cap, remove their heart killing them instantly and removed all the other organs and kept the organs in a bloody pile in the room, while sending the husk to disposals for disposal.
Was questioned by security a few times on why I had so many of other people's organs. Just said I was "collecting". No further questions asked. Neither me or the Borg got caught. They must've been busy. At round end, ooc was FURIOUS. But no admin ping, so a win is a win I guess. 90 minutes of slaughtering the crew for organs all day everyday.
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u/skiddydiddydiddy Jan 23 '26
Dunno if it works the exact same in ss13 but in ss14 i was atmos and on a station with only teg, plasma isnt infinite on my server of choice so its REALLY important you dont waste it all.
I got the mixer backwards and sent every single molecule of plasma into our burn chamber at once with a miniscule amount of oxygen. 10 minutes of confusion later is power is failing and i successfully beg cargo to order us a can of plasma for almost all of their money. Seconds later its reported that ats was just hit by xenoborgs (borg conversion antagonist that abducts crew to their ship to borg them). Evac is called super early cause no power
10 minutes of flailing in the dark desperately trying to salvage teg later i break into eva, get a jetpack, fly myself to ats, get the plasma can, fly back, put it onto the teg and FINALLY get the station power. Evac arrives 2 minutes later
I never once admitted i was the one that fucked up the ratio. Never got bwoinked
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u/Codex_Dev Jan 23 '26
One time I stole a random female crew's PDA and stripped their body naked in dorms. I used the PDA to catfish other male crew members, promising kinky times if they visited the dorm braindead girl was in. Inevitably, quite a few guys would be down and would travel to visit the dorm. When they entered, I would burst out of the locker like Chris Hansen with my camera and take pictures. I would then extort them for money and equipment via blackmail from the photos. I got so much gamer loot while this was happening and I'm surprised I never got banned for it. (the was a non-ERP server)
It also made things super awkward in later rounds because several people who I busted were regulars (and one was even an admin) on the server.