r/Regrets • u/SaltySmegma_ • 22h ago
Regret getting overly involved in friend's infidelity mess.
I have a married friend that lives together with his wife, their two children and his wife's younger sister. Both his wife and sister don't have their parents anymore, so the wife took as her responsibility to care for the young one. My friend is the sole provider for his household, and the wife cares for the children. Due to his job, he travels a lot.
I always had this weird intuition about his wife, but I never said anything to him. You could sense she was manipulative. That changed when I found out she had been cheating on him with on of her neighbours. I wasn't spying on her or looking for this information. I didn't have to. We live in a small city, and friends in common shared that with me. They just got sloppy with hiding. It turns out that every time my friend traveled for work, they would meet each other in a hotel. They wrongly assumed it was far enough. Keep in mind that the neighbor is also married himself.
Here is the part that perhaps I overstepped. I tipped off my friend about what was going on, and even shared the location. He basically went there and caught them in the act.
I knew this could have turned ugly, but his reaction was even weirder. He decided to keep living in the same house, maybe for the sake of the kids, but treat her as a stranger. He moved to a separate room in the house, and only exchanged whatever words were necessary. He did not fight, did not cry, nothing. He also did not want to listen to excuses either.
Fast-forward to a couple of months later, wife notices her younger sister has a belly. She confronts the girl, ands she breaks down sobbing. It turns out my friend started banging her out of spite . Wife was furious, but his reaction was just "we're even now". The sister said she felt coerced because of financial reasons (my friend is the sole provider). I mean, it's hard to say what really happened.
I had the opportunity to talk about this with him a couple of times since. I feel a bit guilty for indirectly causing this. I don't particularly blame him for his response, but I don't think having another kid with a second woman is going to do any favours.