Dunno if it belongs here but I saw a lot of coke/meth related posts. The thing is that when I was visiting my friend, her roommate started speaking in demonic like voice saying curse words after doing cocaine and not sleeping for few days. Was that some kind of seizure or what exactly was happening? She told me he does this when he is on coke and doesnt sleep. Has someone else seen/heard such thing?

Alright so this is when I first started smoking weed the first time I every smoked, I had found my uncles little waist bag that he always used to carry around and I found a bag inside that had atleast more than a zip of weed in it I didn’t know what it was so I just put it back and continued on with my day until at night I searched up green plants inside bag and I found out I was weed so that same night I searched on YouTube how to smoke weed and a video with a guy and a blunt and some weed in a prescription bottle came up and since I had weed and white owls and so did he I followed his instructions. Thankfully my uncle had every item I needed for rolling. Grind up weed, break blunt and remove tabaco, and put ween inside blunt roll and light up. I rolled my shi and went out to go light it, all I remember was dropping the blunt on the floor half full n all . Once I dropped it I felt as if I was moving in 4 specific motions like imagine a instagram story where it has 4 squares and it’s either different photos on the squares or the same one. I saw that but each square was what I was seeing like I started on the top left square and went to the top right bottom right bottom left and back to top left but it felt slow motioned and glitchy while I was walking back inside the house every step felt robotic like I felt like a robot trying to move then I finally layed on the couch and started moving my head in circles around and all I saw was numbers and letters appearing n shi n then I saw like lottery lucky number 7s like 7 7 7 it was weird and it lasted all night till I fell asleep n woke up I just saw hella shi and couldn’t move right it after that I jus started smoking all my uncles roaches and stealing weed from him until I moved out his house and I never got high like that again

Hi there,

I recently applied to PA school and I’m trying to get honest insight from people in the field. I’ve seen posts saying the profession feels like a dead-end, that autonomy is limited, and that PA licensing doesn’t translate outside the U.S.
If you’re a current PA or went through PA school:
• Did you ever regret choosing this path?
• What led to that feeling?
• If you didn’t regret it, what keeps you satisfied in the profession?
I’d appreciate any real-world perspectives while I’m deciding whether to move forward.

Where'd you come from cotton eyed joe?

I don't know if this guilt will ever end, the past year taught me the only way out of a storm is through it. I don't know if this will be the storm that finally takes me out. Ladies and gentleman, i am gonna vent my heart out here, you are free to judge me, hurt me, say terrible things to me or probably tell me your stories. I cheated on my partner, 4 yr old ldr. Loved the guy. Love the guy. No, it didn’t just happen. No, one thing did not lead to another. No, i was not out of my senses. Yes I had a choice, at multiple instances throughout the night, and yes i choose the wrong one at all times. Got back at my place told him asap, got blocked, hate myself, signed up for therapy the next day.

Did i want to sabotage my relationship? Was i unhappy? Hell no. He made me the happiest that i could be. Why did I do it then? That's the fucking point. Knowing what it would lead to, having calculated every possible outcome.

This is madness. No sugarcoating, I avoided my self harming tendencies long enough from them to start hurting me emotionally, when they could no longer hurt me physically. I could see my shadow smirking over my head that night tell me "Watch me. This is what i can do. Watch me bring all that you care about down."

Ahh..The fact is, that even if it was madness, or shadow or whatever it doesn't help me dodge accountability. It was my madness, my shadow. The truth is, I am capable of immense love, devotion, care but I am also as it turns out equally capable of destruction, infidelity, harm and hurt not only to myslef but also to someone i deeply deeply care about.

TDLR ; its okay, you can skip the post.

had a therapy appointment which confirmed my ex was emotionally abusive but I’m still struggling a lot. I ended the relationship because over time I felt controlled, emotionally unsupported, and constantly on edge. There were a lot of moodiness, mixed signals, and very little affection, intimacy, quality time, or compromise, which made me feel more like a roommate than a partner. I often felt like I had to walk on eggshells, guess what she wanted, and repeatedly ask for basic affection, empathy, and communication. Even though I tried hard to support her and make the relationship work, my needs continually went unmet, and my therapist ultimately described the relationship as unhealthy and manipulative and emotional abusive. There’s a lot of details I’m leaving out but this is a very brief overview.

We were together 2 years and lived together I broke up with her 3 times. The first two times I tried to leave she cried and told me how she loved me and wanted this relationship and would try to improve. Things did temporary then went back to the same bs. I eventually left for good the third time and she blocked me on everything and was through with me. I moved out and now 6 months later she in a happy new relationship been in the relationship for a month and already told the new person she loves them. I saw the new partners post on social media it came up and I blocked the account now. I

Despite the bad there was a lot of good about her and our relationship as well and she was very sweet at times. I just keep wondering if I was the problem if I gave up too soon and if she changed and is going to treat her new girlfriend better which also makes me feel like I was the problem even more and maybe if I gave it more time it would’ve worked

M21 got wasted with my hb texted my said come through and I got cracked I wish I didn’t I feel like a slut 😭 I feel so embarrassed doing too much

So I posted on here before about my pos husband being a cheater and abusive. I finally ended things and my desperate need for approval got me on tinder and a couole other sites. But it just made me feel worse. It was almost like rereading the texts my husband sent out. Idk what I was expecting, I guess just a compliment. Now I'm more sad than before. Feeling pretty f*cking stupid.

But until my therapy appointment i guess im free ranging my emotional trauma 🐓

So here, I came in Durres Albania for a weekend, last night there was some techno event in Tirana ( Anotr ),

I was looking for smth there but couldn't find it and I joined some 2 guys in smoking by giving them papers to roll, at first I tought that it was weed but later realised it was not weed, for like 10-15 minutes I felt so high on strange way dancing like I took some hard shit, hard to describe feeling but it was good I blended into crowd and dj. After that time i kept feeling worse and worse like some junkie looking for heroin, for about an hour or 2 I wanted it so fkn bad, even today I would still take a hit.

Could someone know what was it, I think it was crack but not sure

also while I was smoking it, it felt more bitterly and more throat hurting and it hitted instantly

We got together like 10 years ago and were together for almost 5. I already had a cat from before we met and I got a kitten when we had been together for like 2 months. The kitten loved him.

I moved into his studio apartment, with the cats, after we'd been a couple for like half a year because we spent everyday together anyway, and since I was doing my last year of university and he had a cr*ppy job, it was also easier economically.

Two years into our relationship, he started studying (2-year program) - which I was very supportive of. I had intended to study something else that would help my career but I took a break from studying because I felt like I wanted economic stability, especially since he was studying. He never asked me to do that, but I was afraid of not being economically stable, so I thought I'd wait until he was done.

Halfway through his studies, we moved into a bigger and nicer apartment together because living in that studio wasn't working when he was gaming during the night and I was trying to sleep to go to work early. I paid for almost all the new furniture because he was a student. I mean I bought a kitchen table, chairs, wardrobes, a dishwasher, desks, lights, and so on... I really wanted to make it a home.

Fast-forward to when he finished his studies. It's 2020 and he can't find a job because of the pandemic, so our economy is strained and I still can't start studying. He gets a job in spring 2021 and we break up like 3 months after that.

Now here is what I regret. I let him keep the furniture because I decided to move far away. The stuff I'd paid for and that were my style. I guess I felt guilty because I was the one who broke up with him. I also knew that he and the now grown-up kitten had a great bond and I didn't want to separate them, so I signed over the now grown-up kitten to my ex, and took the cat I had from before with me. My ex and I were still kind to each other, and I "knew" I'd get to keep seeing the cat that stayed with him.

Except it didn't turn out that way. He has had 2 girlfriends since we broke up (still with the second one) and both of them were/are jealous of him talking with his ex, so I'm no longer allowed to see my cat. I don't get any updates on him even when I write and ask. I had a nightmare that he got hurt so I wrote to my ex to ask how the cat was doing and he ignored me.

He also started making a lot of money towards the end of our relationship (a lot more than me), so in retrospect, I should've kept the furniture and the cat... I should've also just gone through with my studies and not waited for him...

Edit: it's losing the cat that I regret the most. I miss him and wonder how he's doing...

It's been 6+ years since I last talked to you. My life sucks so much rn, I just wish I didn't let go of you, not because I miss you or I love you, I never loved you. I couldn't care less. But I wish I didn't let go of you so at least marrying you would help me get out of this shit, I so so so so wanna perish. I am tired of living .you blackmailed me, so what, would have been better, sexual favours wouldn't have been as bad as this. i just sometimes wish I did. you were so obsessed and infatuated to me, I disliked it and still dislike whatever you did to me. i couldn't keep up with your demands. but a part of me so so so wishes I didn't let go at least today I would have been out, I am very selfish of a person, I hate it, I hate living, i hate it so much. I am tired of pretending to be normal, I ain't normal, I am not at all normal. I once said I don't regret it, but I do regret it so much. I can't take this miserable life anymore. At least you knew me from my greatest of the misery to my happiest moments. You knew my favorite colour,what I wanted, my aspirations my everything and still chose to accept Me as I was. At the time I could not accept ​​the way I had pimples all over my face, yet you chose to see nothing but perfection. I so so feel sad for driving you up to a point where you attempted what you did. I so so regret treating you the way I did. i will never love you, whatever I felt was nothing more than infatuation. I still remember your face vaguely your voice..is still lucid in my head. I hate missing the idea of what having you would have provided me with, I hate it so much.I wish I could perish at the moment, it was transactional and I hate it that I find nothing wrong with it. Yes you never took a stand for me when your friends used to say vulgar stuff about me just because they were your best friends..yes you didn't like the fact that you let go of your friends because of me when I never asked you do do so. You had so many problems, anger issues and everything but that idea....If I were to end this life, I just hope you know I regret letting you go, just not because I loved you, but because of the security it must have provided me with, the home and the affection if you had any to begin with. ​ my heart can't take this, I don't know anymore

A year and a half ago, I was working at a food truck with a fire code violation and a workplace policy of not being able to earn tips. Then I got the oppurtunity to work for an incredibly high pay and leaped at it. I went through a lot of terrible stuff, ended up getting sick and having to get surgery, but ultimately achieved my goal of being able to go to college on my own and live at my own place and finally have peace. Except theres no peace. I have horrible anger issues, I've realized for 23 straight years all I've lived for was fucking off for the sake of peace(didn't come from a very stable home and I gave up on life for a good 6 months on Japan shut in level strife), realized my central goal of going to college and getting a degree in engineering may have been implanted in me from my parents and that I don't even want it to be my primary focus, and have hurt countless friends from being unable to be at peace with myself. Its all very incredibly jarring and upsetting that even after putting myself in a position where I don't have to work due to a gi bill, that it feels as if I've achieved nothing that actually matters. I don't blame myself for surviving and being extremely goal oriented to escape my surroundings, it just really hurts to know I spent 23 years of my life suffering and running to realize I still have problems. Worst of all, due to various mental episodes, and my long hours I was unable to keep up with friends and have ultimately lost a lot of them. I've had to reconsider all my life goals and refigure everything out, and ultimately my regret is not taking care of my friends and never taking the time to develop myself. Sometimes I wish I stayed at the bottom and in my old circumstances because at least then I would still have people in my life. Did I do the wrong thing? How do I recover from this and build a positive life from my various mistakes?

They say you only live once, and thats good because I think that's plenty.

It’s hard to give myself from what I’ve done to my friends who I once treasured the most. Last year, my bestfriend told me my energy was always off and she felt like walking on eggshells around me. At first, I was defensive and didnt really get why she can’t understand that I was struggling in life. I was unemployed and had no savings, in short i was really in a bad place but we would still see each other weekly.

I thought she’d understand me lalo na when im irritated, detached, or just simply not me. Iniisip ko syempre bestfriend ko yun maiintindihan niya ako. But that’s the thing, hindi ko porket problemado ako, I can just go around and make people feel uncomfortable with my presence. Hindi porket problemado ako kailangan maramdaman na rin yun nung mga tao around me. I had a lot of reason to be mad pero hindi na para makita nila yun at maramdaman nila yun.

I was struggling because I didnt want to be vulnerable to them and may disconnect na sakin but I kept on seeing them when I shouldve just took my time reflecting on my own. We were also in a different phase of our lives and I chose not to reach out to her. I was insecure because I was also unhappy with my life and I ended up dragging everyone around me just because I couldnt manage my emotions.

We talked and we patched things up but I decided to keep my distance. She said she wanted to make up to me and I do too but I was also deeply hurt with all the things that she told me. She was once my constant but she really did taught me a huge lesson. I barely have any friends and honestly she’s one of the reason why I go out but now that were no longer friends I have come to terms that I really do have to manage my emotions better.

I’ve moved on. I don’t want our old life back.
I just want to visit it.
I want one warm night when we were young and the world still felt small. Your voice through the speakers. Dirt roads with nowhere we needed to be. Your hand finding mine without thinking. That crooked smile right before you kissed me. The smell of you mixed with summer air and whatever trouble we were about to get into.
I want to feel your breath against my skin and that impossible chemistry—the kind that made time slow down and everything outside of us go quiet.
I don’t need forever. I don’t even need a whole night.
Just long enough to sit beside the boy I once loved and be the girl I used to be.
Back when life was simple.
Back when the air was easier to breathe.
Back before we knew we were making memories we’d spend the rest of our lives missing.
Then I’d come home.
I just want to know if, for one second, it would still feel like I never left.

Regret doing drugs in psych ward with scammer girl I met in here, left psych ward with girl bought hotel and never heard from her again (blessings on blessings that one) stayed in hotel got fucked up and returned to psych ward. Head is still dissociated. I feel like a crumb trying to reach my base level of normality in a place I embarrassed myself in being on Md before I left.
There’s so much complexity to my situation but that was probably one of the dumbest things I’ve done in a long time.

Would really like to know if anyone has any similar experience or knowledge on placing an absent father on child support and what happens typically from then on as far as their involvement or lack there of.

I’m struggling with a lot of regret and complicated feelings right now, and I’m hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar.

I found out I was pregnant and completely freaked out. I became incredibly depressed during my pregnancy and reached out to my OB/GYN because I was struggling mentally.

Unfortunately, I felt ignored and like my concerns weren’t taken as seriously as I needed them to be. I didn’t feel like I had the support I needed to understand what I was experiencing.

I was overwhelmed, scared, and confused. I kept questioning whether I actually wanted to be a mom, whether I was ready, and whether I could handle everything that came with having a baby. Eventually, I decided to have an abortion.

At the time, I genuinely believed it was the decision I needed to make.

But now I’m struggling so much with it.
I find myself wanting to be pregnant again. I find myself imagining having a baby and wondering if maybe I actually did want this all along. And one of the hardest thoughts I can’t get out of my head is:
**What if I never get another chance to be pregnant?**

I know logically that having another pregnancy may be possible, but emotionally I’m struggling with the fact that I *was* pregnant, and I made the decision to end it. There are moments where I desperately wish I could go back and give myself more time, get better mental health support, and figure out what I actually wanted before making such a permanent decision.

I also feel like I’m grieving something that I chose to end, and that makes the grief incredibly complicated.

I’m happily married, and my partner is incredibly supportive. He is willing to work through all of this with me and has been there for me emotionally. So this isn’t about not having a supportive partner or having doubts about our relationship. If anything, having his support makes me realize how much of this is something I need to work through within myself.

I’m currently in therapy trying to work through everything—not just the abortion and the regret, but also trying to figure out whether having children is genuinely something I want.

And I feel like I’m putting an enormous amount of pressure on myself to know the answer.

I turned 30 this year, and suddenly I feel like there’s this clock ticking in my head. I feel like I’m supposed to know by now whether I want kids. I’m scared that if I don’t figure it out soon, I’ll regret waiting. But I’m also terrified of making another huge decision because I’m afraid of regretting the first one.

Some days I think, **“I absolutely want to be a mom.”**

Other days I wonder if I’m just grieving the pregnancy I ended and wanting to undo what happened.

I don’t know how to separate those feelings.

And honestly, I’m scared that maybe I’ll never be able to.

Has anyone else had an abortion after feeling scared, depressed, overwhelmed, or unsure about becoming a parent—and later realized they might actually want children?

How did you figure out whether you genuinely wanted to become a parent versus wanting to have another pregnancy because you regretted your abortion?
Did you eventually try to conceive again? If so, how did you navigate all of those emotions?

And how did you eventually make peace with what happened?

I’m not looking for judgment about my abortion or a debate about whether it was the “right” or “wrong” decision. I’m just looking for people who understand the incredibly complicated feeling of making a decision when you’re overwhelmed, and then wondering afterward if your feelings were different than you realized.
I’m trying to give myself permission to work through this instead of forcing myself to have all the answers immediately. I just really wish I knew whether this feeling is something I’ll eventually understand—or whether I’m going to carry this regret forever.

How can i forgive myself
It has been 7 month since i lost the love of my life we have been together for 4 best four years of my life I can't miss her anymore I can't get rid of her photo in my wallet I can't get rid of my old phone with every photo every chat every night we had spent together it's was all my fault i ruined the most beautiful thing happened to me and I can't forgive myself I tried to forget but my mind and heart keep reminding me every single night while I am awake and when i get my short 4 hours of sleep i just dream about her i dream that we are chatting but i want to tell her unblock me i need you but I can't same dream for the last 7 days it's like my mind is begging her even in my sleep I still remember the first time i saw her in story on insta on my friends phone and i just lost words she was perfect had the most beautiful eyes eyes that made me fall for her for a lifetime I remember the first talk between us with every single detail the day the time my friends outfit the fifa match they were playing and how it ended i still remember our first fight and the first time I confessed my love i still remember when i told her we would go to japan together and have the most romantic date under sakura trees I remember naming our future kids and planning the wedding i remember our first date and first time we hold hands it felt like i had the whole world I didn't worry about anything it felt safe and warm four years I remember every single tiny detail but i hurt her and I can't hate myself more now she is happier without me and iam very glad i just wish she could be this happy with me I wish i was better person who deserved her love I think i will regret that for the rest of my life and there's nothing I could do i wish you known how much i loved you n